- Post
- #1603091
- Topic
- Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
- Link
- https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1603091/action/topic#1603091
- Time
Nice work! I especially like how Dooku turns away from memory in the end, nice style.
Nice work! I especially like how Dooku turns away from memory in the end, nice style.
Not sure if somebody mentioned that to you already, but im like 5 minutes in now and during Indara’s death (the knive throw) the audio seems to be doubled (?). You can hear the alien gasp twice.
Can I have a link, please?
It sounds all very interesting, cheers!
Connecting with people is hard. Especially because I dont really know who I am, and what I want from life. At the moment it feels like all I want is one other person to hang on to and spent my evenings with. Someone who is just as weird as me. Then again, that’d probably be a really shitty codependent and unhealty situation to be in. Like something the greeks would write a comedy about.
On the other hand, I’m stuck in almost precisely this situation except that I’m alone and that I feel unable to change that. Primarily due to the fact that I don’t know how to be “me” around other people. And that I feel completely out of place wherever I go. Anyways, I should probably go to bed now. (I should have probably done so before instead of writing this perveted excess of a diary entry on the internet, whatever, life is weird)
This sounds incredibly interesting. I’m excited to hear more details on the restructure. Like does Anakin follow the council into hiding or does he remain at Palpatine’s side, “staying loyal to the republic” until he changes his mind about Palpatine? In any case, the project sounds fascinating.
I can gladly help.
That sounds dope af as it is. Just a thought though, you could add Mace walking in on Yoda after the force communication with dooku and have them reflect on what just happened. Maybe something like this:
Mace enters, Yoda looks troubled.
Mace: “What is it?”
Yoda: “Dooku, connected he may be to the attempt on the senator. But how, and why? Harder to answer?
Mace: “I don’t sense anything. Hmmm, I thinks it’s time that we inform the senate that our ability to use the force is finished.”
Yoda: “Only the dark lord of the Sith knows of our weakness. If informed the senate is. Multiply our adversary’s will.”
Then you’d have tension between Yoda and Mace. The later is too involved with his personal attachment to his old friend to acknowledge the truth and totally trusting of the senate, whereas Yoda is more reserved, questioning Dooku’s true allegiance, but without blind trust in the senate. This would also feed nicely into the next scene where Mace denies Dookus involvement yet again.
I’m still not over my ex, and now I’m ruining the very good friendship that we still have. He’s the one person I can tell everything, yet I realize each day how little I mean to him and wonder if I’m just dragging them down behind me.
You sold me with the thumbnail, I’m low-key hyped about what you did with the scene.
JEDIT: Really interesting result, however, the AI voices stick out a lot. Then again, I like how Yoda sounds a lot more like OT Yoda.
Leverkusen is the new Bundesliga champion!
Puh, idk, the single tear on Mustafar already feels extremely heavy-handed, too staged. I’m not a fan of this trope.
it has my interest
it has my interest
But only your divided attention, or so it seems 😄
Nice one
Here’s the line change for the scene with Jango on Kamino. I am not 100% content with the quality as it still sticks out too much for my liking, but I think that it gets the idea across. Obi-Wan learns that there was another Jedi/Sith (Jango probably wouldn’t know the difference) behind the funding of the clones.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jnDNUNpFLf3hiiu_3DXfBH7grd-Kas54/view?usp=share_link
That would probably work best, if you’d dub Maul completely. That shouldnt be too much effort due to the little dialogue he has in the original. Additionally, it would free your hand at implementing more radical changes to the plot. For example, there was this idea floating around on this site about changing the motivation of the Naimodians to aquiring the energy technology of the Naboo in order to power a larger droid army.
I don’t think that you need shots like Dooku leaving or so. If it is a dream sequence, then there is some room to ignore small logistical inconsistencies.
Here is another suggestion, prompted by your proof of concept. What if we start the dream with a VO from Obi-Wan prompting Anakin to hurry up, then cut to Obi-Wan being stopped by the shield, followed by Qui-Gon getting stabbed (crop the necessary shots to remove Maul). With this change, we can infer that Anakin feels somehow responsible for Qui-Gon’s death which would naturally fuel his desire for revenge. Furthermore, Obi-Wan might share that feeling on a subconscious level which would explain his harsh treatment of Anakin in AOTC.
I would have to look, but I might still have a background for that scene flying around from the time that I gave Tambor an extra line of dialogue during the war room scene.
Funnily enough, I aimed the line to sell the „clones were originally intended for the separatist“ idea. Had him report that the republic hijacked their deal with the Kaminoans. But anyways, if I‘ve still got the assets, then I would only need a fitting shot of Grievous to fix up a proof of concept for that scene. However, I am currently short on time due to the exam season coming up. But I can send you the background plates, if I find them.
Been looking over Nev & Pan’s questions and ideas for the clone plot in AotC. Wouldn’t the simpler solution be to go with the idea that the clones were originally created for the Separatists, and that the Jedi basically claimed them for their own? Have one of the alien Separatists dialogue say “when will you finalize the Kaminoan deal?” And Dooku will respond with “I am a man of my word.” Then, after Palpatine is given emergency powers, change Yoda’s line to "Visit I will the cloners on Kamino…and barter for their army. If I’m missing any steps, let me know.
That is my preferred alternate version of events. The council seems much less stupid in this scenario, it still cast a mighty shadow on the Jedi for betraying their ideals like that, and it even adds to Dexter‘s line which characterises the Kaminoans as greedy entrepreneurs devoid of any moral commitment.
However, one point that would still need some work to really sell the change, would be Obi-Wan‘s visit on Kamino. The Kaminoans cannot be already working for the republic. Maybe the best way to keep most of the dialogue as is, would be to add a line from Yoda or Windu that explains that Sifo-Dyas was travelling with Dooku before he vanished. And while we‘re at it, maybe change Jango‘s dialogue to: „… a Jedi called Tyrannus…“. This gives Obi enough information to piece together what happened.
I also like your idea to reutilize Dooku‘s line in this context, I hadn’t thought of that. The only real connection point that I had in mind was the scene in Palpatine’s office. (Just make the alien senator say something, heck, maybe he could imply that the Kaminoans approached the republic after Obi-Wan‘s visit to make them look extra slimy)
Here is a wild thought after looking back at the “false-ending” problem of the scene. What if we seriously end the scene after Anakin disarms Obi-Wan? It wouldn’t change anything about the conflicting ideologies of master and apprentice, but it would clean up some of the mud left by Obi-Wan being an extremely sore loser.
I will try and fix up a little mock-up of that idea. But first, I need some throwaway shot of Coruscant to bridge the gap between Obi-Wan’s initial reaction to Anakin’s victory and his high-minded rhetoric at the end of the scene.
Episode 3 flows much better now than the preceding workprint 👍
So far, I have only watched episode 1 with my dad. The only critique, that we have is the very slow second act, but that’s a weakness innate to the first 2 episodes of the series. Maybe you could push some of Cyrils scenes back a little? That would also support his anguish at how complacent everyone around him has become. However, I don’t remember the exact sequence of events, so that might cause some issues.
That’s good to hear
Heyo, how’s movie 3 coming along?
I feel terrible, but I lack the words to describe it and the courage to answer to the person I should talk to.