OutboundFlight

Hal 9000 said:

As I think on it, I anticipate removing Phasma from TLJ altogether. The film is overstuffed, and Phasma already had a plausible “out” in TFA. She was not necessary to the story of TLJ at all, and cutting her material allows for a much easier removal of some problematic Finn, Rose, and BB8 stuff.
It will depend on whether it can be pulled off. I’m pretty sure it would require some visual FX work to remove her from several shots, since she is present for an extended scene as DJ sells out the Resistance and Finn and Rose are prepared for execution.

If it’s doable, this is what I’d prefer, but I am far from certain it would be.

I had an idea similar to this on the TLJ ides thread. You could cut out all of Finn and Rose’s scenes after their capture (or lightspeed kamikaze). Their fates would be undisclosed until they arrive at Crait, so we’d be in Poe’s POV. Not only would this cut out questionable scenes, it would also have an emotional impact on the audience (who think they are dead or still captured).

The only problem with this is Phasma appearing right when they’re captured. You could dub Phasma to a male voice and imply this is another, male captain. There’s got to be more than just one captain in the First Order. You could even recolor the red strap blue.

If the Enpire sent everything it the rebels would be absurdly outnumbered. They have an entire galaxy worth of reasources. Like a million (at least) to one.

You could keep the whole “destroy the orbiting station by taking out the shield” from the movie, only replace the death star with some random imperial space station. This station could be a factory and/or have the Emperor onboard.

If you’re cutting too much maybe add scenes from Rogue One, such as clips of Saw’s rebels for the ending montage or Vader’s castle.

JeromeTheEditor said:

Sounds like an interesting way to intercut twin suns. What other filters other than black and white are you planning to use?

Haven’t fully decided, I still need to play around with it. But probably something similar to the “future” force visions from ROTS.

CourtlyHades296 said:

Can there be a second version that ties in to Smudger9’s edits, adding the Nightsisters Arc? As for title, I like Son of Dathomir.

I didn’t want to include Nightsisters because then you’d have Ventress show up as the main character only to be entirely forgotten. That being said I now have the idea to make a separate edit focused on Nightsisters, acting like a prequel to this one. I just need to think of episodes that fit with the general story to get it at 2 hours…

However you won’t need to see Nightsisters to understand this story (or any clone wars episodes, including Smudger’s). The opening crawl will call Savage a “dark acolyte”, and his actions + constant use of “brother” makes it seem like he’s part of a cult that thinks highly of Maul. There’s not much of a need to explain him, at least for this edit. And Ventress never shows up, so if you wanted to follow Smudger’s canon you can presume she’s still with Dokou.

LordZerome1080 said:

How about “The Shadow Reborn” for a title?

I like it! I will add it to the rest of the potential titles (I don’t have to make up my mind until the crawl, which I plan on making last).

I understand not wanting to include the capital. Maybe ditch Had Abaddon entirely, the Emperor could still be on the SSD and Endor could just be a factory or something.

HerekittykittyX said:

snooker said:

darthrush said:

Wouldn’t it be a good idea to take most of the Crawl establishing the imperial capitol and why the rebellion might destroy it and give more information on that end of the story? Considering you probably will be lacking for elaboration upon their attack in the regular film. Which kind of brings me to a question, what do you plan to do with the briefing scene? That could be a place to help lay out some expositon.

The rebel briefing scene will have General Madine dubbed over explaining that there is a major Imperial Weapons Depot on the forest moon of Endor. Successfully attacking this base will both be a major setback for Imperial Forces in the outer Rim as well as supply the rebellion with an extensive weapons supply for the foreseeable future.

Perhaps after the sheild generator blows up a whole bunch of rebel transports go down to the surface to aquire weapons and recover the remaining ground attack force. Madine could have his own cruiser just so he can have some exposition like “The shield is down, send the transports” or something, so that the rebellion has a minor victory.

The vfx of the gr75’s should be easy enough.

Keep in mind that there will be no attack on the capital in this film. It is simply where the Emperor sequence happens.

Wouldn’t be a Little blade runnerish ending

End film with Lando making an origami ewok.

I feel like that would be overly convoluted. Imo the climax should all take place in one general area. The throne room is already disconnected from “destroy the station” in the original cut, having the throne room take place on the other side of the galaxy would mean it has 0 influence on the main plot.

I think that the Emperor should be on the Executor, as he is displeased with Vader’s failure to destroy the rebels. That way the rebels can be trying to take down the factory and the Emperor (using some planetary laser on the factory or something). I think this would be easier to follow. Maybe the emperor could be using the force to “shield” the executor (so his death means something for the rebel cause).

Zachary VIII said:

OutboundFlight said:

HerekittykittyX said:

Make the first half revenge and revial and add a transition 23 years later then pick up with the rebels episodes.

That could work, almost like how Rogue One has a 10 minute prologue.

My only question is would it be worth it? I personally find the clone wars arcs more interesting (armies of boba fetts, obi-wan is more prevalent + shows us a new side of him, and more epic duels). The rebels arc has the quick final fight, but beyond that is lackluster imo. Plus you’d have to introduce all the rebels cast.

Maybe following the end credits an “epilogue” could play, which would Twin Suns with only Maul scenes.

I don’t think it should be after the credits, but yeah, the conclusion should just be the Twin Suns episode of Rebels without the Ezra and Chopper shenanigans.

I think I found a solution. It’s complicated but I will try to explain it the best I can, though actual video would work better. I’ll intercut Twin Suns throughout the movie, in brief flashes showing Maul in the desert acting crazy, slowly building towards the battle. At first it will seem like visions from Maul’s crazy mind, but they slowly make more and more sense. Sort of like the black and white scenes in memento. I could even make them black and white, if not I’ll apply some filter to distinguish it. At the very end it would cut back to Twin Suns, only this time the filter is minimal and the two are about to have the fateful fight. End movie with Obi-Wan watching Luke.

I am almost done with the structure. “Brothers” will start right as Savage flies to the junk planet, no diner shenanigans. “Revenge” will stop right after Maul begins his slaughter of the innocent. Then we cut to Yoda sensing Maul’s return and Obi-Wan’s reaction. I cut the duel on the ship because it there were no casualties, it would have been the fifth lightsaber duel, and we haven’t met Ventress. Likewise the hologram scene contradicted “Obi-Wan going alone” because in the Revival duel (which will be trimmed to remove as much Hondo as possible) Obi-Wan brings another Jedi.

I think it’s ugly too but that’s ok, it’s a bulk cruiser not a crowing jewel of the navy. Something that always bothered me about the EU was how it claimed the Empire had 25,000 or so Star destroyers but the 25 destroyers at Endor was the largest fleet ever assembled. Makes more sense if arrestors were the police force, while the Star destroyers made up the military. That way there could be around 100 star destroyers in the entire galaxy, with nearly all concentrated around the rebel alliance sector for the war. Meanwhile the rest of the galaxy was less secured.

HerekittykittyX said:

Make the first half revenge and revial and add a transition 23 years later then pick up with the rebels episodes.

That could work, almost like how Rogue One has a 10 minute prologue.

My only question is would it be worth it? I personally find the clone wars arcs more interesting (armies of boba fetts, obi-wan is more prevalent + shows us a new side of him, and more epic duels). The rebels arc has the quick final fight, but beyond that is lackluster imo. Plus you’d have to introduce all the rebels cast.

Maybe following the end credits an “epilogue” could play, which would Twin Suns with only Maul scenes.

Cool! But what will become of Dawn of War?

As for Han dying, while it might serve the trilogy it would be very hard to pull off (the final shot has Han clearly visible).

Also just to simplify the story, how about Endor is the forest moon of the Imperial Capital (like how it wa originally intended). The throne room could take place on a space station overhead.

Excited for this!

snooker said:

I think the final scene being Obi-Wan and Maul’s rematch from Rebels might work depending on how it’s integrated.

It would be cool to have their final duel, but I don’t know if it makes much sense for this edit. Doing so would require a time jump, and then the story would need to spent lots of time on rebels (because Maul spends some time with the crew and looking for Kenobi before heading to Tatooine). Maybe splitting this into a two part story, one adapting Maul’s return and the other Maul’s revenge.

Collipso said:

If it’s going to be “A Star Wars Story” I’d say it shouldn’t include a crawl, but we’ll see how Solo goes.

I think a crawl is needed regardless. I want to make this watchable for anyone who has never seen TCW before, because the show can seem daunting and sometimes you just want to watch the best episodes. TCW is at times a building block, and the whole Maul arc comes from Nightsisters. If I don’t add a crawl then I’d need to explain Savage’s backstory (why is he bad but not with Dokou), in which case things would start getting out of hand. I also want to specify the time period, while it might sound obvious on a SW forum casual audiences can get confused with when anthologies take place.

TBH I think it was a bad idea to not give Rogue One a crawl. The opening is vague and I’ve heard some casual fans thought for a while that this was after TFA. And without a crawl the opening would need to be a slow exposition scene, rather than get right to what’s on everyone’s mind- finding Maul.

As of today, I have begun work on my latest project. Maul will see the “Return of Darth Maul” arc from the Clone Wars TV Show reimagined into a feature length film. I imagine this edit as an anthology story on the same level as Rogue One or Solo, exploring a new side of the Star Wars universe. Darth Maul has always been a fan favorite and his episodes in TCW are among the best in the series, so I think this would make a great anthology.

I have not created a complete cutlist yet- in fact I am still in the process of selecting episodes. “Brothers” (which follows Savage Opress searching for Maul) will be the opening scene, followed by “Revenge”. I am considering inserting certain scenes from the Season 2 Mandalore to introduce the Mandalore situation. The bulk of the story will consist of the Shadow Collective Trilogy, but I question if the ending will need to be reworked (the Lawless abruptly ends with Maul’s capture, I feel a slower more emotionally satisfying ending starring Obi-Wan may be in order).

The WIP crawl (I’d like to make the color red instead of yellow):

The Clone War rages. Republic and Separatist forces vie for control of the Outer Rim.

Unbeknownst to both sides, the fallen Sith Darth Maul lingers on, fueled only by his hatred for Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Now, a dark acolyte voyages into the depths of a twisted planet to find the fallen Sith…

I am also unsure on the title. Maul will remain the working title for now, but I have several other possible titles in mind:
–Son of Dathomir
–Maul’s Revenge
–Shades of Reason
–The Shadow Collective
–The Rule of Two (a reference to Sidious’s statement in the finale)
–The Shadow Reborn

I may end up creating more Clone Wars movie edits, but for now I’d like to focus on this one. You could think of this as a spiritual successor to smudger9’s Clone Wars edits but know that I am not restricting myself to his continuity. I have also made sure that this edit is not too similar to herekittykitty’s clone wars ep 2. I will keep this thread updated with the latest information and if you have any questions I’d be happy to answer them.

I think it would be interesting to continue following Luke in Ep 9. We could see his spirit traveling to some strange force world (like Mortis) and meeting with other force ghosts (Ewan?) which would shed light on what happens after death, culminating with Luke and the rest helping defeat Kylo or whoever the big bad is. This would be a bold and new direction for the saga and also bring it full circle.

I think it looks better than the bringer of nightmares TPM puppet, maybe even the digital one.

This forum has problems with staying on topic.

Anyway after watching the clones edit I think it would have been better if you ended on Ashoka leaving the Jedi. It keeps the trilogy focused on Anakin. Your Ep 2 seems to hop all over the place between clone wars arcs.

“Some hate the way that Snoke ended up being 100 porgs in a humanoid costume.”
-Frink on the spoiler free thread

What if after Snoke is cut in two a bunch of porgs start to jump out?

This edit looks very intriguing, the dark tone isn’t something one would typically expect from a Star Wars movie but it only makes this edit more unique (so many TPM edits now). Though I do think you went a tad overboard with the darkness in some places, for example the conference room scene where Gunray talks about genocide. It does nothing except add darkness, and after a while it started feeling like a Holocaust reenactment. Also Ric Olie says something right before the Dokou scene, I would cut this because it doesn’t add much and was so fast it made me go back to comprehend what everyone was saying.

The dark tone really makes you appreciate how editing can affect the film’s tone. When you compare this to Frink’s The Ridiculous Menace it’s unrecognizable. I’ve seen comparisons like these for other movies, but for something as heavily edited as TPM it’s very nice to see a fresh take.

I’d like to see a story, probably a comic due to how controversial it would be, where the Jedi and Sith are sort of inversed.

Our protagonist is a jaded Sith Bounty Hunter on the run from the Republic. He uses his powers for personal gain and is not a good guy. This would probably take place during the 1000 years of the Rule of Two. A rich family has a child who is very sensitive in the force. The Jedi see this and wish to collect the child by mind tricking the parents, but the parents predict this and don’t want to part with their kid. So they hire the Sith Mercenary to protect them from a group of attacking Jedi Knights. It would be a very gray look at the universe while not messing with the central idea of the dark side being evil (even though the Sith is doing something noble it’s only for the money).

All in all I liked it. As a matter of fact I think it’s a great movie. My only real problem is how many characters are in it. The movie has to balance OT and TFA characters while introducing new ones. The only way to handle so many is to create subplots which in turn make the film feel longer than it needs to be.
Arch-To
-Rey
-Luke
-Chewie
-R2
Supremacy
-Kylo
-Snoke
-Hux
-Phasma
Raddus
-Poe
-Holdo
-Leia
-C-3PO
Canto Bight
-Finn
-Rose
-BB8
-DJ

With so many I can’t choose a protagonist. Having Plinkett TPM flashbacks now, but can anyone name the main character? Everyone has character arcs but all the arcs just happen like that. Rey accepts her parents and the light, Luke returns, Kylo kills Snoke. Even if they were planning beforehand or changing offscreen, it ends up feeling epic the first plot twist but upon later viewing turns the story hollow. I don’t mind Luke and Kylo but when it comes to Rey she should had a bigger prominence in the story.

Oh well. Again TLJ is a great movie imo. I tend to get overly critical of any SW movie not perfect.

“Every single shot has a visual effect”

I don’t think that’s the case for TFA (besides obvious like coloring). And even if it is, it blends with practical so well you can barely tell the difference.

SilverWook said:

Just a notice that the spoiler policy on TLJ will be lifted on Feb. 15th at 12:00 AM Pacific time. If you haven’t seen the movie by then…

Why did you put that in a spoilers thread? Everyone here has seen it otherwise they wouldn’t be here. 😉

I posted this over at Hal’s thread and I only feel it’s fair to give both upcoming ROTJ edits the same ideas.

May I suggest you cut all of the Emperor’s scenes before the confrontation? Neither of the scenes add anything besides the Enperor bossing Vader around (which sort of diminishes his character). With constant allusions to the Emperor (Moff being scared, Yoda’s warning) there would be a lot more tension when Luke meets him if we haven’t either. It would let the audience build him up throughout the movie.

May I suggest you cut all of the Emperor’s scenes before the confrontation? Neither of the scenes add anything besides the Enperor bossing Vader around (which sort of diminishes his character). With constant allusions to the Emperor (Moff being scared, Yoda’s warning) there would be a lot more tension when Luke meets him if we haven’t either. It would let the audience build him up throughout the movie.

While I have some big problems with TLJ, I’ve complied a list of small changes that would be super easy to edit but go a long way. I only wrote down ones that haven’t been suggested yet (to my knowledge).

1. Remove Rey’s parentage reveal. This had been set up so well in TFA, it should has been saved for a dramatic moment. As of now the answer just gets blurted out by Kylo after so much buildup, not to mention the reveal is kinda disappointing. By pushing off the parent reveal until Ep 9 (which could be added in as a dream or into another Rey/Kylo confrontation) the film would feel less anti-TFA, keep Rey interesting, and give audiences a reason to see 9.

2. Remove Captain Phasma. Honest to god what did Starkiller Base accomplish? How did everyone get off in time? Phasma is shoved into this movie for no reason and then she dies (supposedly). Cut the fight and escape (we can think Finn+Rose died with the lightspeed attack, and then we will feel the relief Poe feels). As for the shots before with her, recolor her red stripe blue and put a voice filter / dub to imply this is another, male first order captain. A line with “captain ____” could help.

3. Leia is sick. Leia’s first “death” on the bridge is brilliant. Kylo doesn’t pull the trigger, but events have spiraled out of his control and he has no choice. You don’t play with the dark side, the dark sides plays with you. Now I’m not a fan of her return, but she is instrumental to the story plus the scene with Luke is great. How about instead the bridge attack severely injures the general and she only has a couple days to live. This could be enforced by a dubbed medic and Leia coughing offscreen moving forward. The resistance’s situation would be even more dire, Leia would be written off for 9, and Kylo’s attack now has a significant meaning.

4. Replace Canto Bight with Tatooine. Before you start screaming let me explain. After the galaxy learned that Luke Skywalker, the last Jedi who defeated the Emperor and Vader, had humble beginnings on Tatooine tourists began to flock there. In the wake of Jabba’s death casinos started up and eventually an artificial ocean was created. After 30 years Tatooine has become unrecognizable, with the entire planet having switched to the tourism industry. This fits perfectly into the theme of “Luke as a legend” and “letting the past die”, and has some real world ties to Orlando. Plus it gives us another (but new) look at the desert planet, which is essential to the Skywalker Saga. Lastly the final scene has a whole new meaning- as Luke dies a new child looks up into the Tatooine sky in hopes to someday become a great Jedi. This would be super easy to edit- Canto Bight is actually the name of the city, the planet is Cantonica. So maybe a loudspeaker could announce “Welcome to Canto Bight, the jewel of Tatooine”.

These changes, plus trimming some scenes to cut on the runtime, would solve a majority of my problems with the film.