It’s the vibe I’ve been getting from other corners of the 'net, and though the Disney output is the worst offender right now it is pretty discouraging to have the trilogies on both sides of the OT so completely fail to live up to their promise.
I’m almost astonished by how apathetic I’ve become to Star Wars in the past couple months. There’s no hate left, no love. Just big, gray indifference.
That’s everyone after TROS.
Two Star Destroyers fall out of Hyperspace, their signatures clearly visible through the nebula. Finn barks out orders: ‘Raise shields! Red Squadron, Black Squadron, launch!’ A collection of TIE fighters and Resistance ships pours out of the main hangar bay, collecting into two distinct groups on the underside of the Destroyer. Rose stands to the side of the bridge with Threepio, asks him his projected time. Threepio responds that they will probably last at least 30 seconds longer this time against the simulation. Finn commands his squadrons, ordering them to flank the Destroyers just below their equatorial turbolasers and come about to attack them from the rear. In this way the squadrons will avoid most of the Destroyer’s field of fire. The holographic forms of the ships appear on out of the nebula, and Ben leads Red Squadron towards the leftmost Destroyer. Poe in his X-wing goes to the right, a motley collection of Resistance ships close behind. Rey flies formation with Poe in a battered A-wing. Poe hits the intercom, telling everyone to get in attack formation and orient themselves down in the direction of the projected enemy fighter launch. Both squadrons fly upside-down, headed toward the simulated Destroyers. Finn flashes a grin at Rose. Her expression is skeptical.
The two Destroyers gun their engines, quickly picking up speed as they rush to close distance, angling nearer to themselves as well. Rey asks why they haven’t launched fighters yet, and to scan for fighters around them in the cloud. Poe answers that scanners pick up nothing, and to keep going. Just as the squadrons converge with the prows of the enemy Destroyers the huge vessels begin spinning against their long axis. The sudden spin seems too fast to be possible, and Poe’s X-wing bobs drunkenly with his disorientation. Both formations waver as batteries of ventral cannons and turbolasers come into view directly in front of the squadrons and open fire.
On the bridge of the real Destroyer, Finn stares openmouthed as the two simulations roll opposite each other in space, every gun on their equators and upper decks now trained on him. With a single burst of holographic light the battle is over. Ben spins his fighter in a playful arc, the only pilot to avoid a simulated destruction. He asks why Thrawn didn’t have to even launch a single fighter, and Poe shouts that the simulation was unfair, that no Destroyer can rotate that fast. Finn’s voice comes on the line, saying that Poe is wrong. The simulations, he says, used their tractor beams on each other in addition to their maneuvering engines, and this gave them the speed to pull off this rout. Finn gives the order to return to the ship. Rey pipes up, saying that there’s still one ship left to destroy. She guns her engines and goes after Ben’s fighter. Ben smiles, warming to the friendly contest, and he cuts across the surface of Finn’s vessel before looping under the bridge and disappearing into the nebula. Rey follows, matching his movements perfectly. Finn sighs. Rose tells him it’s no wonder he has trouble keeping order with them around.
JEDIT: Obsolete
'ang on, 'e says 'e’s not dead.
https://birthmoviesdeath.com/2020/02/21/jd-dillard-matt-owens-are-developing-a-new-star-wars-movie
www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/star-wars-movie-works-jd-dillard-matt-owens-1280459
No more information as of yet, unfortunately.
I’ve moved the Thrawn scene to the end of my current place in the script, since I don’t want too much time to pass between him convening the Knights of Ren and it actually happening. The story continues:
Rey walks the hallways back to the bridge, passing groups of helmetless Stormtroopers and officers in the halls, talking and lounging in ready rooms to either side.
She enters the bridge, where the gathered leadership of the Resistance is discussing strategy. Finn greets her warmly, gushing about the changes he plans to make with this crew, which he says have taken to calling themselves the Rebels since they think ‘Resistance’ is too wordy. As he gushes there’s a disturbance by a far terminal, and a Rebel officer reports that a TIE Intercepter has just launched. They all look out the window at the swirling clouds of their nebula refuge and see a small fighter silhouetted against the soft pink and blue of the gas. Poe turns to Rey, asking if that is Ben. She responds that she can’t tell, and it might be one of their newly minted Rebels gone traitor. Poe reassures everyone that a ship that size won’t get far, but Rose rejoins that it wouldn’t take long for it to be within transmitting distance of the nearest First Order base. The Rebel commander reminds them of the tractor beam, but by the time they get it online the ship is already disappearing through the clouds of gas. Poe orders a launching of TIEs to track it down while Finn simultaneously orders the Destroyer to follow the TIE at full speed. The Rebel and Resistance bridge crew looks at them in confusion. Finn looks at Poe. ‘Sorry…Admiral.’ Poe responds ‘No, go ahead…Captain. The bridge is yours.’ Finn nods, and orders the Destroyer to follow the TIE into the nebula.
In the nebula all is murky and distorted. Finn orders a sensor overlay be pulled up in front of the window to track the ship. Sensors can just make it out at the edge of range, pulling them further into the cloud. Suddenly a much larger shape begins to resolve itself in front of the fighter and the TIE’s signal is obscured by the massive object in front of them. The Rebel commander shouts at Finn that it is another Destroyer, and it’s launching TIE Intercepters of its own. Finn yells that it’s a trap, Poe curses ‘Thrawn!’ Finn orders evasive maneuvers and a TIE launch and after an interminable delay they finally launch towards the wave of enemy fighters still only visible on the sensor screen. Finn orders the shields up, double front. Even as their TIEs streak through the nebula at the enemy fighters, there comes a new set of signals, this time from behind. TIE bombers emerge from the cloud at close range, unleashing a wave of missiles streaking towards the exposed engines. There is no time to alter shields, and everyone braces for impact.
A second passes, then another. Rose dares to open her eyes, which had been shut tight in anticipation of disaster. Poe realizes that Finn has taken his hand in panic. They disengage with an embarrassed shifting of eyes and clearing of throats. Suddenly the bridge is rattled by the passage of a single TIE Intercepter sweeping its wings inches from the windows. The radio crackles to life. Ben’s voice appears on the com, dryly stating that their ship has been blown to atoms. Poe stares in confusion and starts to ask how Ben could have controlled that simulation from a TIE, but then sees Rey in the corner of the room nonchalantly leaning against a console. R2 retracts his data arm and trundles past Threepio, chirping innocently. Rey airily informs Poe that she trained on one of these things a lot on Jakku, though it wasn’t in nearly as good condition. Ben continues flying circles around the Destroyer’s bridge, giving them a good dressing-down. This is Thrawn’s modus operandi, he says, drilling and testing his crews every spare minute of the day, and it’s what the Resistance will need to do if it wants to survive even a minute against him.
…
Thrawn gazes down upon the Destroyers of Kylo’s fleet as they float in dock on the orbital shipyards of Corellia. Hux breaks off his conversation with a gaggle of technicians and officials and dismisses them. After they file out of the conference room he joins Thrawn at the expansive window overlooking the sweep of the docking ring as it disappears behind the curve of the planet to their right. Hux asks Thrawn if he believes that Kylo is still alive, and Thrawn nods. Hux informs Thrawn of the Resistance sabotage devices, and snidely remarks that they were more effective than Thrawn’s methods. Thrawn disagrees, believing that the only reason they would have failed is if they were deactivated by the Resistance. He lets this sink in, then says it is for this reason that he believes that the Resistance hasn’t killed Kylo and indeed would try to recruit him. Hux nods. He sneers of the softness of the Resistance that they aren’t capable of destroying their enemies, but Thrawn cautions Hux over assuming that this is mere weakness. He believes it is a governing philosophy and more than that a viable strategy which has won them a ship with its commander and crew, but they can use this to their advantage. They have crews quarantined on board these ships, crews tainted by Resistance propaganda and shaken by the possible return of their old Supreme Leader.
As for how to deal with the crews, Thrawn lays out two possibilities. The first is to play the Resistance game better than they do, to allow these fine soldiers and officers to go free and return them to their families in an unprecedented act of kindness. Hux shakes his head, knowing full well the damage that even a single tainted soldier can cause. Thrawn nods in agreement. He suggests that it would be a waste to destroy these fine ships however, and asks that after the technicians finish repairs that they call the crews to the main hangars and let the ships air out for a while in the vacuum of space. Hux replies that they will need new crews for the ships, and will need to increase the harvest of children from somewhere. Thrawn says that there is a way to kill two Mynoks with one blaster, and ends by saying that it is time to convene the Knights of Ren.
JEDIT: Obsolete
The intention of adding it (in my edit anyway) was to give the vision some more immediate relevance to Rey’s emotional state - she’s afraid of losing people forever and fears that this has just happened with Finn. I don’t think it needs to speak to the rest of the trilogy.
I see your point, but if her vision shows the past and future, such as accurately predicting her fight in the snowy woods with Kylo Ren, then this would be an event that never happened. It could work for a personal nightmare she’s having, but the vision is mainly triggered from touching the lightsaber which has had a legacy that she is unaware of and is experiencing and interacting with for her first time.
You could say that Kylo seeing Rey while standing with his knights in the rain never happened either. I don’t know, making one aspect of the vision be a more personal nightmare makes it more, well, personal than the rest of it and gives the rest of the vision some more grounding in an emotional reality.
Glad you like it! Yes the netherworld was the big nostalgiafest that everyone wanted, but after I got to thinking about it, the scene had a lot of potential to drive the story forward as well as fill out Ben’s backstory.
Kylo losing his power definitely started out as an idea to quickly nerf his level to keep our heroes from becoming overpowered in relation to the villains, but again it feels right as a reaction to such an extreme alignment shift. I don’t think it will be permanent, but his regaining power must be for very good reasons…
As for it being more booklike, that’s just how I’m comfortable writing. Screenplays always feel awkward to read compared to novels and if there’s no chance of it getting made, why go through the trouble?
The intention of adding it (in my edit anyway) was to give the vision some more immediate relevance to Rey’s emotional state - she’s afraid of losing people forever and fears that this has just happened with Finn. I don’t think it needs to speak to the rest of the trilogy.
Eh, the script still had too many problems to feel definitively superior to what we got.
ACT II. In a cavernous hold on the Star Destroyer lies the Millennium Falcon. Ben sits in the darkened Falcon on the floor beside the game table, hands cradling his head. A Porglet hops out of the nest built in the wiring and waddles over to his side. He makes to push it away with the Force, extending a robotic hand, but the Porglet doesn’t move. He stares at the hand in shock, then tries with his right. There is no response. He struggles with all his might to move a piece of debris on the floor before him, but his efforts are in vain. He lets his hands fall, one with a resounding clunk, and breaks down in tears. The Porglet waddles to his good side and nuzzles him for warmth.
Rey comes onboard and goes past him without noticing him. She rummages through her things and pulls out the broken pieces of Luke’s lightsaber. The shattered halves have been repaired to fit like interlocking puzzle pieces picked out in intricate brass amidst the burnished chrome. Still, the interior of the device fails to connect to itself and she sits in increasing concentration attempting to knit the two halves of the crystal back together. Her frustration boils over, and she roughly tosses the pieces away. One rolls to where Ben sits watching her. She starts, walking opposite him in the curving hallway and retrieving the other piece. She says she didn’t notice him there. Ben motions to her piece and asks what she’s trying to do. When she says that she’s been trying to mend the saber for months, Ben shakes his head. He says that mending a crystal was beyond even Luke’s skill in the Force, and that she should just start over with a new one. She refuses to believe this, but Ben insists that some things just can’t be mended so easily. Picking up on this, she asks what’s wrong, he doesn’t answer, just picks up the Porglet and cups it in his right hand, stroking its feathers with the metal fingers of his left.
Rey asks what the speech was about, the dying and the worth of all people. Ben asks what Rey thinks of this being, indicating the Porglet, and whether it might be as connected to the Force as any person. She thought that was what Luke was trying to teach her when he told about the balance between all things. Ben replies that he heard the same lesson from Luke many times, but realized that he had never really understood until now the meaning underneath. She asks if Ben had seen Luke, and he shoos the Porglet away and replies that he has, and that Han and Leia say Hi as well. Rey’s eyes widen. This wasn’t in the Jedi Texts or any teaching she has heard of. She holds out her broken half of the saber, saying that perhaps together they can mend it. Ben responds that Rey didn’t notice him on her way in. She is confused for a moment, then understands. She didn’t notice him or sense his presence in the Force at all!
JEDIT: Obsolete
If you were editing each movie individually, I would agree that ‘saving the reveal’ would cut too much out of ROTS to be worth it. However, if this is a 3-in-1 idea, then there would be plenty of material even if it leaves out Anakin’s fall to darkness.
Of course with so much of Anakin’s part cut, it makes a good argument for centering the story on Obi-wan instead.
Start with his relationship with Qui-gon, the emergence of the Sith, and him taking Anakin as his apprentice.
‘Your apprentice, Skywalker, will be.’
Hard cut to Zam’s speeder weaving in and out of traffic, Anakin hanging onto the roof for dear life. There can be the occasional scene between Anakin and Padme to establish the plot, but most of the scenes with Obi-wan discovering the clones would stay and be the through-line for this section. Continue an abbreviated film with ‘Begun the clone wars have’ and go from the ships lifting off into the Coruscant sky to Anakin and Obi-wan zipping among them in ROTS.
ROTS would focus on Obi-wan and his growing unease at the state of the war. Anakin is painted as more heroic here, with little of Palps insinuations. Focus on Anakin’s love for Padme and future children. End Anakin’s part with him waiting in the council chambers. Order 66 is the big emotional culmination of the film. The implication is that Anakin died defending the young Jedi, but his children will carry on and avenge him. End as ROTS ends, with Obi-wan delivering Luke to Owen and Beru.
I tend to skip over the episodes which don’t focus on world-building/character development/the Dominion War. Seven seasons of 20-26 episodes each are too damn many, anyway.
DS9 tries to go for an edgier tone, more gray areas and darkness, but that feels antithetical to the optimism of Star Trek. TNG largely remains true to this optimism, to the point that even when it becomes overly comfortable with itself and eschews real world drama it is at least settling into that quietly radical philosophy.
Trek became so insufferably smug with TNG’s self-satisfied utopianism; it needed a spoonful of deconstructive humility to reduce the swelling in its head.
Fair enough, but it works for me. I guess none of the DS9 characters speak to me as much.
Man, I don’t know what people love about DS9 but I just can’t get into it. I’ve been trying to work my way through it for several years and I’m on season 5. I watch an episode and that’s enough DS9 for the next month. That’s not to say it’s bad - Inner Light brought me to tears - but episode to episode it feels like such a stifling drag.
TNG to me is the opposite. After Season 2 it breezes by. I think it’s a tone thing. DS9 tries to go for an edgier tone, more gray areas and darkness, but that feels antithetical to the optimism of Star Trek. TNG largely remains true to this optimism, to the point that even when it becomes overly comfortable with itself and eschews real world drama it is at least settling into that quietly radical philosophy.
I agree with everyone else about TOS though. It’s just fun. Watch it.
I have updated the scenes prior to the afterlife slightly. To continue:
Kylo awakens in a First Order medical bay. Surrounding him are, from left to right, Rose, Poe, Finn, Rey, Threepio, and Chewie. Poe says ‘I still think we should kill him again.’ Finn raises Kylo’s saber. Rose and Chewie voice immediate dissent and Rey asks for the saber, which Finn hands over.
They tell Kylo that he’s been nearly dead for several days, and at one point they really thought he was, but during this time Hux has declared himself Supreme Leader and destroyed Leia on Yavin 4. The Resistance managed to disable and commandeer one of Kylo’s ships, at which point the rest of the fleet evacuated. This meant leaving the First Order soldiers on the ground to be taken prisoner. Now every prisoner is being held in the main hangar of the destroyer, and this is the reason our friends need Kylo Ren. They know that Kylo has been forced out of the First Order and his troops are wavering, their loyalty to the Order sorely tested by this attempt on their life. All his soldiers know is that Kylo has put his life on the line for them in every battle, and they will follow him to the death. Rey hands the saber to Kylo, asking him to lead his forces alongside their own. Kylo nods assent. They fit him with a prosthetic arm and leg, and he dresses for the occasion.
On the balcony overlooking the assembled officers and soldiers, Kylo announces that the First Order has betrayed them and is their enemy as well as his. He names Hux and Thrawn specifically as leaders who will suppress all religions of the Force under their fist and in so doing bring disorder to the galaxy. But, he says, the Force is true. As one who was dead and returned to life he has seen the reality of the Force present in all people, not just those of noble blood. Thus he sees that he is not any more worthy of command than another. He bequeaths his saber to Finn, the man who slew Kylo Ren. Henceforth, he wishes to be known only as Ben. Finn takes the saber and the soldiers salute him. He motions this down. His first order to them is to remove their helmets and see their fellows for who they truly are. They fight for the First Order no longer!
END OF ACT I
JEDIT: Obsolete
My write-up has no sequel trilogy. If it did, it’d be the Thrawn Trilogy.
The crowd won’t yawn if you choose Thrawn.
IT’S SNOWING
IT NEVER SNOWS AROUND HERE
I’LL PROBABLY GET SEVERAL INCHES
THAT SOUNDED WEIRDER THAN I INTENDED
I decided to slow this part down and actually write the dialogue, since it seems important:
The squawk of the jeweled plume dragons outside his window pulls Kylo from sleep. He feels…fine. Better than fine in fact. Kylo stretches his arms and sits up, looking out the window of his old house on Aquilae. The Falcon sits on the flagstones in front of the house, and just beyond the edge of the window he can see the nose of an X-wing with a distinctive paint job. ‘Uncle…?’ he says to himself, remembering the day he left for Luke’s academy. Sounds of laughter drift up from downstairs. Kylo eases out of bed and stands. This is his room, just as he remembers it. Color holograms of famous Jedi festoon the walls, Sleek model ships overflow from a cargo container in the corner, and a furred Garbol rolls about in its terrarium beside his bed. He investigates the Garbol. It’s just as he remembers, but then, his Garbol died years ago. He leaves the room and descends the stairs to the living quarters, as slowly and as quietly as possible. He knows who it will be before he reaches the room, the mixing of Han’s low murmur and his uncle’s high-pitched laughter forming an audial contrapposto ingrained in his deepest memories. It has been a long time since he has heard that easy laugh from his uncle.
At the foot of the stairs he stops, as does the conversation. Han’s expression is unreadable, but Luke seems bemused. ‘Ben? What are you doing here?’ It’s Kylo’s turn to be confused. ‘You don’t know?’ Luke shrugs noncommittally. ‘So I haven’t gotten around to checking up yet. Time just flies…’ He motions to his surroundings, Han, the entire universe. A shriek of happiness erupts from something outside the house. Kylo glances up. ‘Is that Aki?’ Han nods. ‘Sure seems happy to see someone.’ Luke looks between father and son. ‘I’ll go see who it is.’ He leaves in a swoosh of Jedi robes and beard. Kylo stares at his father. ‘You’re really here.’ Han nods. ‘I think Luke was as surprised as anyone when he got here. I’ve been telling him to go back and check up on everyone, it’s the only way I get any news.’ Kylo looks down, shame and regret threatening to overwhelm him. ‘Hey, kid.’ Han places a hand on his shoulder. ‘It’s slag in the incinerator.’ Kylo turns away, trying to blot out this place and its memories. Han pulls him back to face his father. ‘Ben. We all have regrets. People we weren’t there for, people we loved. But…it’s something Luke said…maybe if that Force is strong enough…we might have another chance.’
From across the house a door opens. ‘Hey Han, guess who’s here to visit?’ Han gets up from his seat ‘Leia…’ Kylo turns. There she is, arm around Luke, then running to embrace Han, Aki’s six legs scrabbling against the floor around them. Luke allows them their moment, walking over to Kylo, who is unable to process or accept her presence here. Luke sits beside Kylo, clapping him on the shoulder. ‘I think I will take your advice, Ben, maybe see what’s going on over there.’ He gestures vaguely with his thumb and disappears from Kylo’s side. Kylo shakes himself, turning back to Han and Leia still in the midst of their reunion.
^Nice.
Kylo must suffer, and suffer greatly, if he is to be eventually redeemed in the eyes of the audience. And he isn’t done suffering, not in my version. 😉
Love these ideas! Keep em comin!
Updated the first scenes slightly. Now to continue:
Early morning sunlight casts a slight glow on the cavernous floor of the great stone hall. On its marble steps, C-3PO sits, on his lap a tome of Jedi learning. Rey lies against him in sleep. Threepio finishes translating the final chapter and closes the book, then turns to Rey and realizes that she’s been asleep for some time. Chewie walks down the empty room and roars a greeting. Rey awakens and tells Threepio not to worry, she’ll have him read the final chapter to her again later.
Rey and company move through the old tunnels of the Yavin base, stirrings of activity around them. A dozen ships from the latest sortie against Kylo’s fleet have returned at dawn, and techs rush to refuel and recharge them. Rey meets up with Poe, who is parsing information from multiple channels. They talk progress. Poe is pleased that they are forming a hypernetwork of sympathetic worlds, but their strategy is fragile. They are having to send practically all their forces to combat the next First Order repression each time one springs up, and all at a moment’s notice. They have been able to drive off the First Order only through the skin of their teeth in each battle, and a single defeat could be their end. But they are making progress. Soon they will have enough free worlds to challenge the First Order on even terms. Rey worries about this inevitable confrontation. She says to Poe that without a dramatic return of the Jedi to the galaxy another vast civil war is inevitable, and she cannot do it alone. Poe says that he always deferred to Leia on that front, that she believed that hope would get them through. Poe is not so optimistic.
Rey goes to Leia with the texts, Threepio in tow, and tells her that she still feels unworthy and has no faith that the Jedi can triumph. She holds the books out to the general, but Leia doesn’t turn from where she is, standing on the stone roof of the temple overlooking the jungle. Rey makes as if to go, but then Leia sweeps her into an embrace, telling her not to be ashamed of who she is. Rey leaves Threepio with Leia but takes the books back. On her way back to the command center the klaxons blare, and she leaves the books in Leia’s quarters.
They have the location of the next First Order attack, a large assault which Leia says must be met with the Resistance’s full force. Everyone who can be of use in battle boards a fighter. The Resistance is a well-oiled machine, with new pilots stepping in to refresh those who just returned. Poe uses R2 in his X-wing in leu of BB-8. Threepio arrives on the Falcon, saying that Leia sent him to narrate the final chapter of the Jedi texts to her on the way. As the ships fly away, Leia looks from a deserted temple at the departing vessels, a collection of blockade runners and small fighters.
…
Kylo stands on the bridge gazing out at the curve of the planet before him. The captain updates him with relevant information and asks how he will aid the beleaguered First Order forces on the ground, whether he will go himself or allow his officers to assist. Kylo decides that he will settle for evacuating their ground forces and immediately leave the planet. He does not trust his ships or his crew and tells them to set a course for the nearest shipyard, then to open a channel to the leader of this insurrection to bargain for the release of his troops.
In the engine room, Rose sees the linakges move from sublight drive to Hyperdrive and she shouts to Finn about their ship in the garbage bay. She orders him and BB-8 to head for it and abandon her. Finn shouts that she’s being suicidal, and this is an enemy ship after all. She will not abandon her task, though most of the explosives are deactivated, so Finn clambers up, throwing away his armor, and pulls her bodily onto him. She demands he put her down, and he just mutters something about saving what he loves and takes off to their ship. However, they are too late. The engines explode. On the ground below, Resistance fighters cheer as the lead Destroyer spouts explosions and debris from its port engine block.
On the bridge, all is chaos. The ship lists drunkenly as the power fails and the curve of the planet fills the windows of the bridge. Only Kylo keeps his footing, holding onto mystical energy in the empty air. There are shouts that the ship is doomed, and officers stumble towards escape pods. Kylo makes no move to escape, but instead mutters ‘Luke’. He places his hand before him, as if to push the colossal mass of the ship away from the planet with Force alone. There is no effect.
Captains of the other vessels try to establish tractor locks on the lead destroyer, but the ship is too large and already falling too fast. At this moment the Resistance fleet appears out of hyperspace.
Rose, Finn, and BB-8 dash to the hangar for hope of a flyable ship, but they quickly realize that they will have no time to reach the hangars before the ship crashes. Their only hope lies in the small bay behind the bridge with the Captain’s shuttles and escape pods.
Poe leads the fighter attack on the Star Destroyers, R2 beeping to him about the disabled Destroyer. Poe says that he sees it and figures that the Resistance on the ground must have gotten a lucky shot with some powerful artillery. He orders the fleet to target a single Destroyer and activates Rose’s own sabotage devices. Their plan is to disable at least one of the ships.
In the Falcon, Rey senses that Kylo and their friends are all aboard the crashing ship, and to get there as fast as they can. Chewie roars and Threepio translates that it’s impossible to get there in time, and even worse, the odds of survival are too small to measure.
On the bridge, Kylo remains immovable as the ship careens through the atmosphere, flames licking along the great surface of its arrowhead prow. Behind him in the hallways, the three friends rush to the hangar to see the ships smashed against the walls and one another. The ship rocks like a wild thing, and all are flung across the floor. They fly down the hallways into the bridge, coming to a stop against the main viewscreens. Kylo sees them, understands. He throws them back against the far wall with the Force, one hand extended to them, the other still facing forward at the oncoming planet. The windows shatter with the heat, which licks at Kylo’s clothes and burns away his cloak. Mountain ranges emerge from the clouds and still Kylo stands, and then the impact. The forward section of the Destroyer crumples against the mountains, pieces shorn off by jagged peaks. The noise is absolute, a rending and tearing and still Kylo stands, slowing their descent and holding them in place until the last moment when everything gives way and falls into darkness.
Leia stares out at the sky above the temple, doom above her in the form of Thrawn’s personal fleet. She readies herself for this fate she has long foreseen.
Kylo blinks in the brightness. Over him stands Finn, battered and bruised but otherwise uninjured. Kylo looks down at where he is laying. He is on the scorched outer hull of the Destroyer, the crumpled bridge far above and behind him. A streak of blood shows his journey out of the broken windows of the bridge and he sees that he is missing several limbs. The left ones, to be specific. Blood gushes from his wounds. He looks again at Finn, and sees he is holding his own red saber. ‘Go ahead, do it.’ He says to the traitor. He lacks the strength to lift a finger, much less a hand to stop him.
An officer salutes the red-eyed alien at the helm of the Destroyer, giving him confirmation of the successful sabotage. Hux’s hologram comes on the viewscreen, giving him permission as Supreme Leader to commence the attack. A single green bolt of energy strikes down at the temple.
Finn smiles grimly, activating the saber, and strikes true.
As the Falcon emerges from the clouds above the wreck Rey screams, clutching her head, and falls unconscious upon the controls.
holding the broken fragments of TROS
How do we build a worthy conclusion from this?
Thanks! I feel like the First Order has been in desperate need of a cool-headed villain from the beginning, and Thrawn seems to fit well.
Updated the first scene btw.
It would be hard not to, a lot of those ideas had potential. I think it’s criminal how Coruscant isn’t featured in TROS.