Kylo must suffer, and suffer greatly, if he is to be eventually redeemed in the eyes of the audience. And he isn’t done suffering, not in my version. 😉
Love these ideas! Keep em comin!
Updated the first scenes slightly. Now to continue:
Early morning sunlight casts a slight glow on the cavernous floor of the great stone hall. On its marble steps, C-3PO sits, on his lap a tome of Jedi learning. Rey lies against him in sleep. Threepio finishes translating the final chapter and closes the book, then turns to Rey and realizes that she’s been asleep for some time. Chewie walks down the empty room and roars a greeting. Rey awakens and tells Threepio not to worry, she’ll have him read the final chapter to her again later.
Rey and company move through the old tunnels of the Yavin base, stirrings of activity around them. A dozen ships from the latest sortie against Kylo’s fleet have returned at dawn, and techs rush to refuel and recharge them. Rey meets up with Poe, who is parsing information from multiple channels. They talk progress. Poe is pleased that they are forming a hypernetwork of sympathetic worlds, but their strategy is fragile. They are having to send practically all their forces to combat the next First Order repression each time one springs up, and all at a moment’s notice. They have been able to drive off the First Order only through the skin of their teeth in each battle, and a single defeat could be their end. But they are making progress. Soon they will have enough free worlds to challenge the First Order on even terms. Rey worries about this inevitable confrontation. She says to Poe that without a dramatic return of the Jedi to the galaxy another vast civil war is inevitable, and she cannot do it alone. Poe says that he always deferred to Leia on that front, that she believed that hope would get them through. Poe is not so optimistic.
Rey goes to Leia with the texts, Threepio in tow, and tells her that she still feels unworthy and has no faith that the Jedi can triumph. She holds the books out to the general, but Leia doesn’t turn from where she is, standing on the stone roof of the temple overlooking the jungle. Rey makes as if to go, but then Leia sweeps her into an embrace, telling her not to be ashamed of who she is. Rey leaves Threepio with Leia but takes the books back. On her way back to the command center the klaxons blare, and she leaves the books in Leia’s quarters.
They have the location of the next First Order attack, a large assault which Leia says must be met with the Resistance’s full force. Everyone who can be of use in battle boards a fighter. The Resistance is a well-oiled machine, with new pilots stepping in to refresh those who just returned. Poe uses R2 in his X-wing in leu of BB-8. Threepio arrives on the Falcon, saying that Leia sent him to narrate the final chapter of the Jedi texts to her on the way. As the ships fly away, Leia looks from a deserted temple at the departing vessels, a collection of blockade runners and small fighters.
…
Kylo stands on the bridge gazing out at the curve of the planet before him. The captain updates him with relevant information and asks how he will aid the beleaguered First Order forces on the ground, whether he will go himself or allow his officers to assist. Kylo decides that he will settle for evacuating their ground forces and immediately leave the planet. He does not trust his ships or his crew and tells them to set a course for the nearest shipyard, then to open a channel to the leader of this insurrection to bargain for the release of his troops.
In the engine room, Rose sees the linakges move from sublight drive to Hyperdrive and she shouts to Finn about their ship in the garbage bay. She orders him and BB-8 to head for it and abandon her. Finn shouts that she’s being suicidal, and this is an enemy ship after all. She will not abandon her task, though most of the explosives are deactivated, so Finn clambers up, throwing away his armor, and pulls her bodily onto him. She demands he put her down, and he just mutters something about saving what he loves and takes off to their ship. However, they are too late. The engines explode. On the ground below, Resistance fighters cheer as the lead Destroyer spouts explosions and debris from its port engine block.
On the bridge, all is chaos. The ship lists drunkenly as the power fails and the curve of the planet fills the windows of the bridge. Only Kylo keeps his footing, holding onto mystical energy in the empty air. There are shouts that the ship is doomed, and officers stumble towards escape pods. Kylo makes no move to escape, but instead mutters ‘Luke’. He places his hand before him, as if to push the colossal mass of the ship away from the planet with Force alone. There is no effect.
Captains of the other vessels try to establish tractor locks on the lead destroyer, but the ship is too large and already falling too fast. At this moment the Resistance fleet appears out of hyperspace.
Rose, Finn, and BB-8 dash to the hangar for hope of a flyable ship, but they quickly realize that they will have no time to reach the hangars before the ship crashes. Their only hope lies in the small bay behind the bridge with the Captain’s shuttles and escape pods.
Poe leads the fighter attack on the Star Destroyers, R2 beeping to him about the disabled Destroyer. Poe says that he sees it and figures that the Resistance on the ground must have gotten a lucky shot with some powerful artillery. He orders the fleet to target a single Destroyer and activates Rose’s own sabotage devices. Their plan is to disable at least one of the ships.
In the Falcon, Rey senses that Kylo and their friends are all aboard the crashing ship, and to get there as fast as they can. Chewie roars and Threepio translates that it’s impossible to get there in time, and even worse, the odds of survival are too small to measure.
On the bridge, Kylo remains immovable as the ship careens through the atmosphere, flames licking along the great surface of its arrowhead prow. Behind him in the hallways, the three friends rush to the hangar to see the ships smashed against the walls and one another. The ship rocks like a wild thing, and all are flung across the floor. They fly down the hallways into the bridge, coming to a stop against the main viewscreens. Kylo sees them, understands. He throws them back against the far wall with the Force, one hand extended to them, the other still facing forward at the oncoming planet. The windows shatter with the heat, which licks at Kylo’s clothes and burns away his cloak. Mountain ranges emerge from the clouds and still Kylo stands, and then the impact. The forward section of the Destroyer crumples against the mountains, pieces shorn off by jagged peaks. The noise is absolute, a rending and tearing and still Kylo stands, slowing their descent and holding them in place until the last moment when everything gives way and falls into darkness.
Leia stares out at the sky above the temple, doom above her in the form of Thrawn’s personal fleet. She readies herself for this fate she has long foreseen.
Kylo blinks in the brightness. Over him stands Finn, battered and bruised but otherwise uninjured. Kylo looks down at where he is laying. He is on the scorched outer hull of the Destroyer, the crumpled bridge far above and behind him. A streak of blood shows his journey out of the broken windows of the bridge and he sees that he is missing several limbs. The left ones, to be specific. Blood gushes from his wounds. He looks again at Finn, and sees he is holding his own red saber. ‘Go ahead, do it.’ He says to the traitor. He lacks the strength to lift a finger, much less a hand to stop him.
An officer salutes the red-eyed alien at the helm of the Destroyer, giving him confirmation of the successful sabotage. Hux’s hologram comes on the viewscreen, giving him permission as Supreme Leader to commence the attack. A single green bolt of energy strikes down at the temple.
Finn smiles grimly, activating the saber, and strikes true.
As the Falcon emerges from the clouds above the wreck Rey screams, clutching her head, and falls unconscious upon the controls.
holding the broken fragments of TROS
How do we build a worthy conclusion from this?
Thanks! I feel like the First Order has been in desperate need of a cool-headed villain from the beginning, and Thrawn seems to fit well.
Updated the first scene btw.
It would be hard not to, a lot of those ideas had potential. I think it’s criminal how Coruscant isn’t featured in TROS.
After seeing The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Disney ever made a third movie with these characters. There are a few scripts floating around which got me thinking, and seeing how it’s already 2020 and no movie seems to be on the radar, I thought I’d take a stab at concluding the story. For the sake of brevity it is presented in summary form with specific dialogue only in critical scenes.
Enjoy!
STAR WARS EPISODE IX
ACT I
Trash floats through the vacuum of space into the distance. The outline of a giant hatchway comes into view, outlined against the starfield. A small, ugly craft appears suddenly as if from thin air, then creeps into the hatchway as it begins to close, and as it snaps shut the stars turn into starlines as the Star Destroyer jumps to hyperspace.
The small ship lands in the grimy interior of the garbage bay and a hatch slides open. BB-8 rolls out, disguised as a First Order tactical droid, followed by Finn in Stormtrooper armor and Rose in a rough and ready First Order uniform. After quipping about the existence and danger of Dianogas they get to work, BB-8 and Finn heading for the crew and bridge sections, Rose descending into the engine bays with a variety of small electronic devices connected to binary beacons. Arriving at the intersection between the bridge and crew quarters, Finn and BB-8 split up, Finn to crew, BB-8 to the bridge. As he marches down the hallway, a unit of Stormtroopers pass headed by a glowering Kylo Ren. Finn quickly turns the corner out of sight, but Kylo whirls around and glares behind him, the troopers stumbling to a stop. Gathering himself, he marches on to the bridge. As the captain rises to greet him, he throws the hapless soul into the window and begins ranting about his lack of support in the battle. The captain sputters about ship malfunctions and crew morale, but Kylo doesn’t want to hear it. What peeves him most is the fact that the Resistance seems to be able to predict his every move. The officers mutter behind his back of rumors that Kylo believes Luke is orchestrating these failures from beyond the grave.
Finn and BB-8 return to the garbage dump. Finn has updated the trooper’s information and procedure manuals with some choice history of the Galactic Empire and the Jedi, and BB-8 has gathered from the computers the fleet’s next destination. Finn sends this info down the line to the Resistance. Sabotaging Kylo’s ship was the most dangerous of their missions, which is why it was their last, but they seem to have pulled it off. The last Resistance hyperspace relay is placed on the floor of the garbage dump, awaiting its ejection at the site of the next place of unrest in the galaxy. Rose is still unaccounted for, however. Finn’s communicator crackles, telling him that there’s a problem. They leave for the engine rooms.
…
On Coruscant, Hux reviews the losses and Kylo’s final report. Thrawn stands behind him. He denigrates Kylo’s tactics as unbecoming of a Supreme Leader, bemoaning the state of the First Order with an unbalanced Skywalker at its helm. Thrawn comments on the frivolous waste of chasing down the Resistance as he has singlehandedly won the core worlds for the First Order.
They walk the halls of the First Order palace, coming to a room off-limits to anyone but Kylo. Thrawn nevertheless has the codes, and they enter Kylo’s sanctuary. Here are his artifacts, his broken mask which has been welded together, Vader’s mask, broken lightsabers and old Kyber crystals, Sith paraphernalia. Thrawn approaches Kylo’s mask. He remarks upon how Kylo himself broke the mask and had it remade, and how curious it was that one so eager to destroy finds it difficult to actually take action. He claims that Kylo is in fact governed by his legacy to such an extent that he is unable to move beyond it. He tells Hux that the First Order knows very well where Leia is hiding, directing all these uprisings, but Kylo refuses to destroy her because of his conflicted soul. He urges Hux to take action, to do that which he has wanted to do since the beginning, that someone fighting on the front lines is susceptible to…accidents. With Kylo out of the way, Thrawn would be under Hux’s control, and would gladly end this insurrection. It is Leia who keeps the legend of Luke alive, Thrawn says, and to kill her is to kill the Resistance. Hux asks of the girl who is so important to Kylo, and what threat she poses. Thrawn pauses beside a collection of curious artifacts – the helmet of a Rebel pilot, a small potted flower clinging to life, a stuffed Rebel fighter doll – and says that she is nobody, capable of inspiring no armies, no resistance to their will, Force or not. For the Force is a distraction from real power, the power to rule galaxies.
Perhaps it’s not so much that the scenes would have significantly improved the film, but more the apparent lack of effort on Disney’s part that has everyone so bitter.
As far as script rewrites, I really liked the discussion about Kylo turning in the first act and think that would be just a whole lot of fun.
I guess I’ll be fanediting this movie in the ‘Script Writing and Rewriting’ section then.
I’m with you too. It’s just impossible to work with what we have. I’ve already started work on a modified version of Trevorrow’s “Duel of the Fates” draft, and I’ll be sharing that here soon.
I look forward to it!
It seems our paths are similar. After hearing the discussion about Duel of the Fates, I almost couldn’t help but start writing a script in my head. I haven’t ever committed to writing a whole new script for something, but maybe this is the one that happens.
I guess I’ll be fanediting this movie in the ‘Script Writing and Rewriting’ section then.
I don’t remember women and children in that scene.
And I think more is in order.
All joking aside, it would be a nice touch.
Although a 3-in-1 edit would have been neat, it’s probably unfeasible as you say. But a 2-in-1 ESB and ROTJ could be really good, and I had actually been thinking along those lines for a theoretical fanedit.
Open with Palpatine’s arrival at the partially destroyed Death Star. He senses Vader wants to continue his search for Skywalker, and says that Luke will eventually seek him out.
Cut to Hoth, and Luke’s misadventures in the snow. He is knocked out by the Wampa and remains offscreen while the Probe Droid plot is moving forward.
The Emperor dismisses Vader to go wait on the command ship, where he hears his officers talking of a transmission of the Probe Droid. Vader’s decision to follow it despite his master’s insistence that he have patience is now a foreshadowing of their familial connection and weakness.
The Imperial fleet arrives over Hoth as Han is still missing, looking for Luke, and then a search party is sent out and find Han even as the walkers advance on the base to drive up tension. Cut the Bacta sequence and skip straight to Luke suiting up and getting in a speeder.
The asteroid chase could again be cut in favor of simply putting the Falcon on the Star Destroyer.
Luke’s training could be shortened, Vader’s communication with the Emperor can be cut because of redundancy.
Lando and Leia escape Cloud city and jump to Hyperspace before the Vader/Luke battle is finished. When Luke calls out to Leia from the antenna, there is no response.
Tatooine. The band plays Baroque music and dancers twist their bodies to the beat. Han is seen in Carbonite against the wall. Night falls, and a masked figure arrives and rescues Solo. ‘Who are you?’ ‘Someone who loves you’. Shot of the Falcon flying away from Tatooine.
The Rebel fleet is assembled. The plan to attack the Death Star is underway, and cuts before Luke arrives. There is a montage of preparing for battle and the shuttle goes into Hyperspace.
Luke awakens in Bacta. a sinister droid places a device against the tube and he ascends. Form cut to the elevator shaft with lights rising on its surface. It opens and Luke appears beside Vader. Together they walk into the throne room. Cut after ‘you will call me master.’
The shuttle flies past the command ship. Repurpose footage of Leia sensing Luke’s presence from ESB on the Falcon. He senses her as well from the throne room. Luke says ‘You’re gravely mistaken. Soon I’ll be dead. And you with me’. The Emperor makes his speech about his plan.
The shuttle lands and the troops file out. Cut straight to them opening the door to the bunker and beginning to set the charges. The Ewoks arrive as a surprise to everyone. The rest of the battle, and the film, plays out as in the original. I don’t know how Leia as Luke’s sister would fit into this, but perhaps it could be cut altogether.
Because now that the last great worm of Tatooine is dead, its sequestered waters do spread across the arid soil and push back the advancing dunes. And so the Tusken’s millennia of toil draws to a close with the fulfillment of this prophecy.
It’s an angle I hadn’t considered from Luke’s perspective. Does he go to Vader more apprehensive because he couldn’t even persuade Jabba to relent? Or does he feel serene, since the Force will provide victory regardless of his own persuasiveness?
So you are something of a paradox.
^ NeverarGreat or Return Of The Jedi? 😉
blushes
Is ‘cm’ some term used by Rebel scum? On my planet we use the metrics of the great and glorious Empire.
PM Sent!
PM Sent!
Regardless of your opinions on it, I definitely think now that the trilogy is over I feel like The Last Jedi will be seen as the most important movie in the trilogy. Maybe not now or in a year from now, but as time goes on I think people will appreciate that this movie had a lot more to say than either TFA or TROS. To me it felt like JJ wanted to honor Star Wars in a very superficial way with his films, whereas Rian showed his love for Star Wars by challenging AND reaffirming its central themes. I’m not going to argue about its execution, but this thread and the interesting conversations we have here prove to me that there is a lot more depth with this film in comparison to 7 or 9 worth discussing.
I have no doubt in my mind this is true. I believe I said as much when the film came out, years down the line this will be universally regarded as one of the very best SW films.
I don’t know about universal. For people who see movies as a vehicle for artistic expression and more thoughtful thematic material, sure. People for whom movies are nothing more than thrill-rides, the quality of which is judged by the number of 'slposions in it (there are a lot of people like this), probably not.
Whether or not it will be regarded as one of the very best SW films, it should be. At the very least as one of the most daring and interesting.
I will go further and give it an A+ for the best postmodernist Star Wars film and extra credit for its use of metanarrative.
The problem a lot of people have with it is that it shares almost nothing in common with the OT in terms of genre or tone.
The most disappointing thing must be Reypatine.
I thought that Captain Phasma was a very underutilized villain, especially in The Last Jedi. She doesn’t really get to do much, gets unceremoniously thrown in a trash compactor off-screen in The Force Awakens, and loses to Finn in her only fight scene.
There were many things the writers could’ve done with her, like having her hunt down Finn and Rose on Canto Bight as they are looking for the code-breaker.
But since she’s Rule 63’d Boba Fett, it makes sense her bark is worse than her bite.
At least Boba was pretty cool in one of the movies he was in.
There’s a higher quality version of that clip here:
There was only one conclusion that made sense for him in Episode IX.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.