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Mrebo

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20-Mar-2011
Last activity
17-Mar-2024
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Post
#1580286
Topic
Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
Time

EddieDean said:

I’ve just been re-reading the thread, and have taken another crack at the opening crawl based on all of the popular ideas so far.

I was looking to include:

  • Language which both gives clarity of understanding, and evokes emotion and dynamism
  • “Golden age is ending”
  • Namedropping ‘Galactic Republic’ early, and showing it’s corrupt and bureaucratic (but in an interesting way)
  • Trade Federation vs Naboo as the central threat, with the TF greedy and aggressive, and Naboo humanised
  • Padme Amidala as a protector and central to the conflict
  • A hint of a bigger threat ‘behind the curtain’
  • Valorum (by title but not by name) ‘dispatching the Jedi’ since it’s referenced often onscreen
  • A little more description of the function and purpose of the Jedi Order, especially including hints at their magic, since this is the first chronological story
  • A deliberate inconsistency between the Jedi as protectors of peace AND tools of the (corrupt) Republic
  • A slight clarification of the Jedi Order (the institution) and the Jedi Knights (its agents)
  • Qui-Gon Jinn named early, since he’s not named onscreen until deep into the movie, and identifying him as the main agent of change in the story

I wanted to not contradict anything that is seen onscreen. I also chose to retain some of the ambiguity already in the plot and the existing crawl; as much as we often try to do this (and I’ve fallen into this trap myself), the opening crawl is not the place to fix issues with the storyline.

This crawl has the right word count (82 vs 75-88), character count (500 vs 450-500) and line length (~28 max characters).

The golden age of the Galactic
Republic is ending. As corruption
grows, the greedy Trade Federation
has blockaded the peaceful planet
of Naboo.

Desperate to protect her people,
Queen Amidala has appealed for
urgent support, but the Republic
Senate is mired in endless debate.

Fearing a more sinister motive
behind the aggressive move, the
Supreme Chancellor has directed
the Jedi Order, mystical guardians
of peace and justice, to secretly
dispatch Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn
and his young apprentice to settle
the conflict…

Re-reading the thread is a good exercise. I’m back to drawing board on start of Episode 1 because what I’ve tried so far is too uneven. Started thinking a new scene is needed.

I like the way you’ve framed the story here. It is way more coherent. And I like it fitting the normal parameters of a crawl. My only quibble is about omniscient expressions “the golden age is ending,” as to opposed to merely how things are, eg “A golden age for the Galactic Republic is being exploited by [opportunists or something].”

Post
#1577585
Topic
The Prequel Radical Redux Ideas Thread
Time

Darth Raditz said:

Been looking over Nev & Pan’s questions and ideas for the clone plot in AotC. Wouldn’t the simpler solution be to go with the idea that the clones were originally created for the Separatists, and that the Jedi basically claimed them for their own? Have one of the alien Separatists dialogue say “when will you finalize the Kaminoan deal?” And Dooku will respond with “I am a man of my word.” Then, after Palpatine is given emergency powers, change Yoda’s line to "Visit I will the cloners on Kamino…and barter for their army. If I’m missing any steps, let me know.

I think you would need to make it more explicit. How would you handle Obi Wan’s discussions with the Kaminoans?

Post
#1573388
Topic
SSWR's Attack of the Clones - Alternate Timeline Edit (WIP)
Time

Hi, SSWR, I’d watched your YT videos and I agree with your thoughts on the narrative for Anakin visiting Tatooine. I’ve some ideas for the Lars homestead scene you might consider.

As Anakin and Padme walk away from the ship, dub in the (from later) line “These are good people, Padme, you’ll be safe.”

Dub [Not-3PO] saying, “It is good to see you again Master Skywalker [& other pleasantries].” (If you want to twist the knife, insert Padme’s line from Naboo, “Anakin’s not a Jedi…he’s still a Padawan learner.” JK) Possibly insert Padme’s line “I’m Padme.” Then Anakin asks to see his mother and Not-3PO directs them to follow.

Not-3PO presents the guests. Not-3PO or dubbed Owen acknowledges the step-brother relationship. I like Padme’s “I’m Padme” line originally in this place but not sure how to keep it especially with the cuts to follow.

Cut to Owen introducing Beru and then to Anakin asking, “is my mother here?”

Cliegg says, “no, she’s not,” then Anakin reaction shot, then Cliegg says come inside. Either add transition here or keep the ensuing Anakin’s dissapointes/sad reaction shot.

I think the scene needs different music to better serve the mood of Anakin’s growing anxiety/despair. Maybe different music would go toward making a brisker pace feel more purposeful as well.

Additionally, I’d want to find a way, in the next scene, to get rid of Padme only taking her cloak off when the camera pans over to her and then awkwardly pulling her chair in. It’s the little things that grate when you starting thinking about the edits.

Post
#1565754
Topic
The Prequel Radical Redux Ideas Thread
Time

NeverarGreat said:

Mrebo said:

EddieDean said:

I’ve been thinking about Attack of the Clones a bit lately. Spence’s recent tightening was really good, but every time I watch or think about this movie I always find the early car chase sequence really off-putting. After the droids in the factory, I find that scene the most egregious.

So why not remove it altogether? Since we already have an attempt on Padmè’s life with her ship being bombed, that gives us enough of a reason for Anakin to be assigned her protector, and I’m sure there’s a way to use voicework to tie the bombing to Obi-Wan’s hunt for Kamino.

I feel like that trimming could really improve the pace, and combined with the usual tightening, the addition of the Anakin/Kenobi training scene early, and the addition of the usual deleted scenes with Padmè’s family, you’d end up with something more focused and interesting.

I could do without the animal fight in the arena but I think that’d be my ideal structure.

The inefficiency of the storytelling is one good reason to remove. A question is whether sufficient impetus for Padme to leave is still there without the second attempt.

I agree with your assessment the scene as it exists is too much. Yet as others say, it has the merit of showing positive character interactions I wish were more prominent.

My idea is to start the film with the chase. From crawl (explaining that the Jedi are in pursuit of an assassin targeting senators who oppose the creation of an army), pan to shot of Coruscant, cut to point where Obi and Anakin are both in the speeder on through to where they lose Zam and she removes her veil.

Then Padme’s ship comes down through the clouds, no explosion, it’s morning after the chase and we go to the two heroes in the elevator (just another day in the life of a Jedi).

Snooker made a brilliant scene edit where Anakin deflects blaster shots from the assassin droid and then Anakin jumps out of the window. My crazy notion inspired by that is while Obi and Anakin are chatting in Padme’s apartment at night, Zam’s speeder slows past the window behind them. Sensing danger they run to the bedroom and Anakin deflects blaster shots (implicitly from Zam) and jumps out…onto the speeder, thus picking up that part of the chase on through to Zam’s death.

I’ve had the same thought, that Anakin should jump out of the window onto Zam’s speeder. It really illustrates their characters to have Anakin be headstrong while Obi-wan takes his time to find a speeder, and it also provides a fun reveal when we see Obi-wan catch Anakin’s lightsaber from out of nowhere, showing that Obi-wan really has Anakin’s back even in his boneheaded moments.

Yes! Feels like a real and deliberate moment showing the characterization. Biggest challenge to my eye is the effect of Zam shooting into the room, breaking the blinds and how to deal with changing the room lighting.

Post
#1565712
Topic
The Prequel Radical Redux Ideas Thread
Time

EddieDean said:

I’ve been thinking about Attack of the Clones a bit lately. Spence’s recent tightening was really good, but every time I watch or think about this movie I always find the early car chase sequence really off-putting. After the droids in the factory, I find that scene the most egregious.

So why not remove it altogether? Since we already have an attempt on Padmè’s life with her ship being bombed, that gives us enough of a reason for Anakin to be assigned her protector, and I’m sure there’s a way to use voicework to tie the bombing to Obi-Wan’s hunt for Kamino.

I feel like that trimming could really improve the pace, and combined with the usual tightening, the addition of the Anakin/Kenobi training scene early, and the addition of the usual deleted scenes with Padmè’s family, you’d end up with something more focused and interesting.

I could do without the animal fight in the arena but I think that’d be my ideal structure.

The inefficiency of the storytelling is one good reason to remove. A question is whether sufficient impetus for Padme to leave is still there without the second attempt.

I agree with your assessment the scene as it exists is too much. Yet as others say, it has the merit of showing positive character interactions I wish were more prominent.

My idea is to start the film with the chase. From crawl (explaining that the Jedi are in pursuit of an assassin targeting senators who oppose the creation of an army), pan to shot of Coruscant, cut to point where Obi and Anakin are both in the speeder on through to where they lose Zam and she removes her veil.

Then Padme’s ship comes down through the clouds, no explosion, it’s morning after the chase and we go to the two heroes in the elevator (just another day in the life of a Jedi).

Snooker made a brilliant scene edit where Anakin deflects blaster shots from the assassin droid and then Anakin jumps out of the window. My crazy notion inspired by that is while Obi and Anakin are chatting in Padme’s apartment at night, Zam’s speeder slows past the window behind them. Sensing danger they run to the bedroom and Anakin deflects blaster shots (implicitly from Zam) and jumps out…onto the speeder, thus picking up that part of the chase on through to Zam’s death.

Post
#1470516
Topic
Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
Time

Well said, Faraday.

Eddie, I like the directness of your approach. I struggled to think of how to make it happen in that scene.

My solution leaves much implied but I really like that Qui-Gon pulls off yet another stunt. Only I’m not sure if it gives enough to the viewer. A possible assumption is he traded the winning podracer for her freedom.

Here’s what I’ve been working on to free Shmi:

https://streamable.com/r4eaim

https://streamable.com/jzmu8b

Post
#1470510
Topic
The Prequel Radical Redux Ideas Thread
Time

Peter Pan said:

Mrebo said:

Peter Pan said:

Mrebo said:

I think it helps greatly if we know that Shmi is no longer a slave. As difficult as it is for Anakin to try to forget about her, it’s more palatable if he knows she is free. I’d have this done in TPM and she is left behind because the Jedi don’t make allowances for parents tagging along. Qui-Gon gives a disapproving look and Shmi gets it and says, “my place is here. My future is here. It is time for you to let go.”

In AOTC I’d leave it implied that Anakin went back at least once, knows the Lars and plausibly had a conversation in years past with Owen about staying. So we would cut Watto in this telling.

I think the story is stronger if Anakin simply can’t let go of his mother even when she is relatively safe. Adopting Peter Pan’s idea to make it more explicitly the Jedi’s fault helps too. Especially with all of Anakin’s ranting about Obi-Wan holding him back which feels out of left field in the movie as is.

I don’t know if it might be cut so the line, “Mind your thoughts, Anakin, they betray you. You’ve made a commitment to the Jedi order…” applies to his dreams about his mother.

Today I played around with the scene you suggested and frankenbit something together, as Eddie would say. 😉
Its not perfect, I don’t particularly like the specific wording of the line I came up with, but I think this gets the idea across.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17C_nZGiBtV2jcEP5i1e0jCEQ4uqb13gS/view?usp=sharing

Good thought having it play in the background, it does seem to be a tough section to cut visually given how they continue walking through.

Yup, I am also trying to figure out the rest of the scene, because they continue talking about politics, with no apparent reason whereas in the original they were talking about Padmé and this lead to Obi-Wan vocalizing prejudice against politicians.
Maybe I’ll expand on the Anakin is frustrated with the Jedi angle. There are some lines, that could fit, like “I know, attachment is forbidden” or “I haven’t seen her in ten years”.

In general keeping Anakin at lot more rebellious might work for the story. Almost pushing it so far that it looks like he might leave the Jedi, would be very interesting I think. Here is a brought story outline of what I have in mind:
He joins the Jedi with the intention to help people and specifically free slaves, then ten years later he hasn’t really gotten to that and is feed up with the Jedi and their way of life. He is on the brink of leaving them to be with Padme, but the Republic goes to war with the Separatist and that’s why he stays a Jedi, because he feels that this is where he is needed the most.
Some details that would really make this work, would be to A) let Anakin and Padme know each other or even be a thing from the get go of AOTC and B) make the separatist slavers and change the title crawl to explain that they left the republic due to Padme pushing reforms in the senate.

This is a good idea to already have something between them. That would be a more credible and interesting way to tell the story. Makes it all more connected to Episode I as well.

Peter Pan said:

My attempt to implement the dialogue from the deleted scene “Anakin’s Nightmares”.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g30FKS5UM5zWfP647kFQndvR2sMeAk9J/view?usp=sharing

Very good. Some lines work very well. I’ve had a similar idea but hadn’t work out what lines might fit. This fits right in with where I’d want to take it.

Post
#1470374
Topic
<strong>The Book Of Boba Fett</strong> (live action series) - a general discussion thread - * <strong>SPOILERS</strong> *
Time

A very good episode. CGI Luke sometimes excellent. Impressive voice. As much as I liked the flashback-heavy episodes, the present-day characterization of Fett has been weak. This is not helped by pushing him aside for two episodes, which also does a disservice to Temuera Morrison who does a good job when given something of substance.

Post
#1470351
Topic
The Prequel Radical Redux Ideas Thread
Time

Peter Pan said:

Mrebo said:

I think it helps greatly if we know that Shmi is no longer a slave. As difficult as it is for Anakin to try to forget about her, it’s more palatable if he knows she is free. I’d have this done in TPM and she is left behind because the Jedi don’t make allowances for parents tagging along. Qui-Gon gives a disapproving look and Shmi gets it and says, “my place is here. My future is here. It is time for you to let go.”

In AOTC I’d leave it implied that Anakin went back at least once, knows the Lars and plausibly had a conversation in years past with Owen about staying. So we would cut Watto in this telling.

I think the story is stronger if Anakin simply can’t let go of his mother even when she is relatively safe. Adopting Peter Pan’s idea to make it more explicitly the Jedi’s fault helps too. Especially with all of Anakin’s ranting about Obi-Wan holding him back which feels out of left field in the movie as is.

I don’t know if it might be cut so the line, “Mind your thoughts, Anakin, they betray you. You’ve made a commitment to the Jedi order…” applies to his dreams about his mother.

Today I played around with the scene you suggested and frankenbit something together, as Eddie would say. 😉
Its not perfect, I don’t particularly like the specific wording of the line I came up with, but I think this gets the idea across.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17C_nZGiBtV2jcEP5i1e0jCEQ4uqb13gS/view?usp=sharing

Good thought having it play in the background, it does seem to be a tough section to cut visually given how they continue walking through.

Post
#1470244
Topic
Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
Time

You have an impressive knack for organization and attention for detail. Putting all that together was no mean feat. I agree with your observations on Jar Jar. I think if only he was a real character he would have been much less jarring.

The Gungan religion explanation was such a cheap way to get him to tag along. I’m having the life debt be Qui-Gon’s assertion and Boss Nass presumably goes along with it because Jar Jar is a burden. I like your ideas for actually giving him a personality.

Post
#1470042
Topic
The Prequel Radical Redux Ideas Thread
Time

I think it helps greatly if we know that Shmi is no longer a slave. As difficult as it is for Anakin to try to forget about her, it’s more palatable if he knows she is free. I’d have this done in TPM and she is left behind because the Jedi don’t make allowances for parents tagging along. Qui-Gon gives a disapproving look and Shmi gets it and says, “my place is here. My future is here. It is time for you to let go.”

In AOTC I’d leave it implied that Anakin went back at least once, knows the Lars and plausibly had a conversation in years past with Owen about staying. So we would cut Watto in this telling.

I think the story is stronger if Anakin simply can’t let go of his mother even when she is relatively safe. Adopting Peter Pan’s idea to make it more explicitly the Jedi’s fault helps too. Especially with all of Anakin’s ranting about Obi-Wan holding him back which feels out of left field in the movie as is.

I don’t know if it might be cut so the line, “Mind your thoughts, Anakin, they betray you. You’ve made a commitment to the Jedi order…” applies to his dreams about his mother.

Post
#1469958
Topic
Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
Time

littlev87 said:

On the topic of changing Jar Jar dialog

Honestly, these might be the best redubs I’ve ever seen. Also, I love how Jar jar is now a completely different character but his vocals still match the physical performance. I have posted this before in other threads, but I try to get these videos as much exposure as possible. I would love if the community could convince this guy to finish the dub for the whole movie. Unless of course, someone has a link to his complete edit, if it exists. Maybe I’m crazy but I think these dubs are phenomenal, and fix the biggest annoyance to watching this movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58yrGVFDHc8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDs0Y4krCqI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FRqQt7N4q0

Those are fun and well done. Works for him to have an accent from down under 😛 I think that’s the right direction, to make him basically an opportunist. His opportunism takes him to the galactic senate, as a sort of mirror image and facilitator of Palpatine. I’m not sure how I feel about him being clumsy with Boss Nass’s wife…

Post
#1469944
Topic
Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
Time

RogueLeader said:

Nemoidians and Sidious

I know I just mentioned being careful about cutting too much and making the movie too short, but if I were to want to cut any scenes, I think I would cut a lot of the scenes between Nute Gunray and Darth Sidious. There’s a few reasons for doing this. 1) I feel like the pacing just halts every time we cut back to what the bad guys are doing. 3) It feels like a lot of information is repeated in other scenes. 2) I actually think it would serve the narrative more if we kept the Sith’s involvement in the plot as mysterious as we can. I actually wonder how much it would actually hurt the movie if we cut all of Sidious’ scenes. Would it be better if the actual phantom menace was a figure only alluded to in the first film? I’m sure there are edits that have already done this. We are talking about the most fan-edited film in history, after all.

Agree with your on those scenes. I don’t know how it would work to remove them all - I don’t know if there’s a need to explain Neimoidians trying to kill Jedi. If one kept maybe only the Coruscant balcony scene (removing lines about going after the queen) and Maul, that would help it feel like a separate threat focused on the Jedi. You’ve got me thinking about removing the scene where they tell Sid the queen has escaped. One problem I have with that scene is the virtual introduction of Maul. My current edit of the scene removes Maul and replaces Neimodian dialogue from elsewhere (https://streamable.com/6fhf7m). But you’re right the scene doesn’t add much/anything.

That opening shot of the ships around Naboo might be used instead for a return shot, not that it explains how the heroes land undetected.

I’m right there with you on most of what you wrote. Would help so much to be able to make Jar Jar speak more normally. I don’t think I had payed attention to Portman’s poor performance before. The scene with her speaking with Jar Jar on the ship is useful and shows him being more normal but her acting there is so bad. It almost felt like that first shot of her speaking was shot later it’s so disconnected.

Anakin

Not a lot to say about Anakin that hasn’t already been done, but there is one idea I recall regarding how Anakin gets connected with Qui-Gon and company. This was an idea I had back years ago, but I’m pretty sure the Phantom Editor also mentions in his commentary having this edit when he did his edit, but decided to not go with it. Basically, the idea would be that you would replace Jar Jar getting accosted by Sebulba, with Qui-Gon seeing Anakin in a fight and breaking it up. This deleted scene originally takes place after the pod race, and the Rodian thinks Anakin cheated at the pod race, but if you could assume they are just talking about a game they were playing. One benefit is that it would help you avoid another of Jar Jar’s goofy antics, and it also lets you see another side of Anakin that we mostly see as sweet and innocent. I think one of the reasons he didn’t use it was because of the quality of the scene, but perhaps there is a better quality version of the scene available now.

On the other hand, I do like Mrebo’s idea for the scene, which gives Anakin a little extra agency. Maybe you could use both ideas, since you would need to invent a way for Anakin to pair back up with the others (unless you just assumed Anakin caught up with them after Watto let him leave).

I’m having Watto tell Anakin to follow them after they leave the shop, which adds to showing Watto as a minor villain and Anakin a good natured kid when he basically forgets he’s supposed to be a spy. That works if you want to leave out Jar Jar’s snack.

Feels weird to talk about edit ideas that have been discussed for the past twenty years…

Yes but a welcome opportunity 😄 While there cannot be a single edit to satisfy everyone, I can imagine that if there was an organized effort, a very good compromise edition could be done. Like the Corridor Digital team but focused solely on editing each movie, different people doing sound, effects, color, etc.

Post
#1469682
Topic
Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
Time

EddieDean said:

Guiguioh said:

CaptainFaraday said:

Two things I’d never realised until reading Eddie’s plot summary:

  • Why does Sidious want to invade Naboo? Why the fixation on recapturing Padme?
  • When exactly do Padme and the decoy switch places? She introduces herself to everyone as “Padme” when she’s pretending to be a handmaiden; do people not know that’s Queen Amidala’s first name?

1- Because the original plan was to get her to sign the treaty ( Palp thought she was young so easy to scare) to legitimize the occupation and create sympathy for him in the Senate so he could use it to win the next election ( Valorum had less than a year left on his mandate.) He never expected that Amidala would find her way to Coruscant. He just adapted after that and he got what he wanted even quicker. The old EU cover that story pretty well ( Cloak of Deception )

2- Amidala is a persona. Every queen of Naboo get one. Nobody knows Padme Naberrie is the queen of Naboo apart from a few selected people. Padme is just one of the handmaiden for the casual personnel. Canon book Queen’s Peril cover that in details. The first switch with Sabe in TPM as the decoy is just before they get captured (black dress.)

Thanks for this, I needed both points clarified too. Is it actually made explicit in the movie that Palpatine is from Naboo? It’s implied in the dialogue, but I don’t think it’s spelt out. Shame that the Amidala persona thing isn’t in the movie though.

I couldn’t recall either and had to search the script just now. Valorum says “The Chair recognizes the Senator from the sovereign system of Naboo.” And Palpatine says “our planet”/“our people” when speaking to Amidala.

Point 1 is something I’ve been confused about but I see what you’re saying Faraday.

Post
#1469623
Topic
Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
Time

EddieDean said:

I completely agree. I think a lot can be preserved if it’s given the right context and the movie is paced well. A far more interesting opening would be an invasion (which we actually get to see the impact of), with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan sent to Theed specifically to rescue the Queen, rather than to the belligerents to settle things diplomatically.

One idea I had to remedy the problem of them showing up with Jar Jar, could be to have him already be established as their local guide who helped them navigate the city to reach the Queen. By his following canon appearance he’s become a Junior Representative to the Naboo delegation - specifically a (junior) politician intended to bridge the divide between Coruscant and Naboo, and therefore a perfectly sensible person to serve as local knowledge for two Jedi Knights sent to Naboo to rescue the Queen. So what if he’s already in that role during the Phantom Menace? It wouldn’t conflict with his poor relations with the other Gungans, either, and it would explain him continuing to travel with the Jedi/Padmé party better than just sticking around as he does in the movie. And doing all of this could unlock a trimmed opening that starts on the action where the plot really starts, with the Queen’s street rescue, the hangar breakout, and the blockade attack. That could easily feel like an intro which leads neatly into Act One, the discovery of Anakin - and there are plenty of expository scenes off Naboo which could give the audience that information even once they’ve left the planet.

Edit: Hell, you could even start with them travelling in the bongo then arriving to rescue the Queen, since the characters really introduce themselves to each other then. Then you’d get to see Jar Jar guiding the Jedi through some ‘secret underwater passages’ to traverse the planet without detection from the occupying army, demonstrating that local knowledge.

Good thoughts. I’ve taken the battle droid dialogue (trimmed down) about searching for hidden underwater villages and put it in the mouth of the droid captain in the tank right before we see Qui Gon running. It fills in why they have landed so far from the cities and makes finding Jar Jar feel less random. In addition to trimming Jar Jar forcing himself upon them, one might cut from “Wesa goen underwater, okeyday” to them in the bongo rather than swimming.

Darth Sadifous said:

I personally would like to see the inclusion or even mention of Dooku in The Phantom Menance to better connect Episode I and Episode II. I believe this would really help sell his history with Qui Gon Jinn and make a larger impact on Attack of the Clones when we see he has left the Jedi Order and is working in opposition of the Republic.

Perhaps digitally add him to the council scenes (does not need to talk) or even have him look on as an attendant at Qui Gon’s funeral. It latter could also be a subtle hint at him be Maul’s successor as apprentice to Palpatine and the camera could now linger on both Dooku and Palpatine during Yoda and Mace Windu’s discussion at the end about who was killed, master or apprentice.

There has been good work incorporating Dooku in council scenes but I really like the idea of him just being at the funeral. I don’t know if standing next to Palpatine (between him and Amidala) is too on the nose but as Qui-Gon’s former master should have a prominent place. Would primarily involve out-of-focus shots of his profile so seems fairly doable.

Post
#1469604
Topic
Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
Time

I’ll start with my general attitude toward editing the prequels and my thoughts on the beginning of TPM.

While I am inspired by and adopting edits others have made (and need to watch more of those listed above), my focus/inspiration is reordering and recontextualizing scenes. My thinking is informed by how ANH was “saved in the edit” as expressed in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFMyMxMYDNk

I am leaving a lot intact (like R2 and a lot of Jar Jar and Gungans) and I hope the annoying parts will work better with changed context, in addition to toning down.

When I think about the prequels I try to keep my first impressions in mind. I was on the edge of my seat when the movie started. After the perplexing crawl, a lonely ship sailing through space toward a space station keeps me in suspense. And the first thing to happen is a bland conversation on a viewscreen. It deflates tension. Plus we are going to get that same information repeatedly and in better ways. Then they go to a conference room and talk. When we get to the action a moment later, the stakes and characters aren’t sufficiently established and I had a feeling of waiting for the movie to really begin.

The stakes should be better established at the outset. My approach is to start with the invasion in order to show the danger. The limited footage of the invasion doesn’t allow for a terribly flashy start (and is a little short for proper opening shots) but it’s more active and conveys more information more quickly. It is more of an ESB than ROTJ way of opening. I’ve considered whether new CGI shot(s) of the invasion could make for a stronger opening, not that I have the skills to do so, but also seems like a lot of work for relatively benefit.

The crawl is one way to give the viewer better context but it doesn’t remedy the impact of the first several minutes. Another approach is cutting a lot of the clutter to get to the action more quickly.

Post
#1469585
Topic
Community Focus Threads - Index and Overview
Time

EddieDean said:

Indeed!

I would say, one thing that I think I probably should encourage in the threads is staying on target and avoiding the particularly radical ideas. I’m talking things like comedy versions, black and white, heavy metal, replacing the language with an alternate track and doing it all as subtitles, etc etc. Those feel to me more like passion projects to create a truly alternative experience, rather than “a Star Wars movie you could have feasibly watched at the cinema”, like TROS Ascendent.

Beyond that, I’m on the fence about things like three-in-one movies or re-dubbing whole characters, but I think I should let the community make that call.

Disagreement welcome!

I think three-in-ones are a different animal but maybe the discussions will help inform those who want to go that way. Re-dubbing aliens and droids (I have in mind Neimoidians and PT 3PO) is a great idea to help make an edit work. Re-dubbing main human characters would seem to fall more into a passion project category.

Post
#1469520
Topic
Worst Edit Ideas
Time

Eyepainter said:

Replace John Williams’ score with Charles Trenet’s “Boum!” during the Order 66 montage.

This idea is so good it has been nagging at me so I slapped this together only using Boum for audio (apologies for video quality issues). I made some fast and dirty edits to get the first boum and scene changes lined up a little better, but it was halfway there on its own. The two best moments lined up without any alteration and the camera work goes so well - watch to the end. There is some natural synchronicity between the lyrics and what is on screen. This could really be finessed into something brilliant I think.

https://streamable.com/3hbfoe