Jar Jar Bricks

Chapter 2 Changelog:

• HUGE thanks to Captain Faraday on this chapter. His formatting, specifically at the beginning, was an incredibly helpful foundation.
• More streamlining of descriptions, replacing complicated words. You know the drill.
• Rocks around Rey are properly described (Google Treasure Planet rings)
• Overhauled/simplified Leia’s perspective on Rey. It’s clear that she is aware of some source of darkness in Rey, but is more afraid of her refusing to take action than actually falling to the dark side. She wants Rey to learn peace and courage to combat this.
• Leia’s training was three decades ago, not two (I did the research)
• When Leia is thinking to herself about her Jedi voices, mentioned how she still hasn’t heard from her father or forgiven him
• Cut a flashback to Luke and Leia training which served no purpose narratively
• Luke’s lightsaber is now just as crackly as Kylo’s. Rey couldn’t fully fix it, even with the Jedi texts. Emphasized how this makes Rey feel undeserving of the weapon and self conscious about herself.
• More clearly suggested that Rey uses the dark side to destroy the training remote
• Removed Mustafar from Rey’s vision, and overtly stated that she sees herself on the throne
• Included the beginning of the next chapter so that it transitions to Poe and Finn properly
• Rey no longer tells Leia about her vision (seriously, why did Rae Carson do this?)
• Rey returns the lightsaber to Leia every day because she feels unworthy of it since she broke it and couldn’t fix it completely. It’s also Leia’s last reminder of Luke.
  Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GaJ_Klgxiwhtwt_2sxzr2j-sEhZPz8pG/view?usp=sharing

That’s what I was thinking RL. You won’t be able to tell with this sort of thing until we have replicated the voice filters in the original scene.

On second thought that might be a little too short for the Sith eyes to show up in. Never realized much of a blink and you’ll miss it thing that milky eyes shot is.

Maybe we should end up using it in both shots after all (documentary and theatrical shots).

It’s definitely on my to-do list to adjust that Resistance meeting scene. Just haven’t reached that part, yet. The ticking clock is an obvious removal, because Palpatine will not be launching his fleet until he is certain he has either Kylo or Rey coming to him for possession.

I would imagine the information Poe and Finn get would be Palpatine’s message to the FO as well as a report about what Kylo encountered on Exegol. I agree that would be enough information for concern.

Hmmm I definitely see what you mean.

One thing about the message in this novelization edit is that it was sent exclusively to the First Order, thus reducing its overall importance to the plot. I believe this is implied in Hal’s edit as well.

When the galaxy at large is receiving it, it makes much more sense to include it in the crawl. And as for the First Order losing power, that is already suggested in fewer words in the first sentence of Hal’s.

Testing, I like all of the ideas in that opening crawl. The thing with an opening crawl, though, is that it needs to be straight to the point and deliver only the most relevant information to what you’re about to experience.

I believe I have included everything in that crawl throughout the first chapter itself. If I need to make some of it more clear I could definitely work on that. But personally, I enjoy having the intake of information be more gradual and spaced out.

I would actually exclude anything that spoils the end of the movie myself.

Good to hear! I hope the modifications I’ve made since your first read are good enough. Hopefully they aren’t too different from how you would have patched it up.

Chapter 1 Changelog:

• Used Hal’s opening crawl
• This was originally chapter two, it is now the first chapter
• Replaced words that were needlessly complicated. Also changed numerous small details and descriptions throughout. General streamlining.
• Used some of Faraday’s descriptions of Vader’s castle and Mustafar
• Palpatine’s message was sent exclusively to the First Order
• The Eye of Webbish Bog knows everything about Kylo. He falls under the archetype of a mystical being from legends/fairy tales.
• The aforementioned change leads into Kylo thinking about his plans. See the original post above for a general rundown on this.
• Kylo travels to Exegol purely to destroy the Sith and steal their secrets for himself
• Removed some of the unneeded description in Kylo’s travel to Exegol
• The statues on Exegol are clearly identified as ancient Sith Lords, and Kylo’s disgust with all Sith except for Vader is brought up again
• Replaced Snoke clones with Palpatine clones
• Snoke is implied to be an apprentice of Palpatine that heard his voice in his head. It is not specified whether he was an artificial being or not.
• Made it abundantly clear that the Palpatine on the crane is a clone as well but with his real spirit inside, eating it away over time
• Explanations of Kylo’s understanding of essence transfer and how Palpatine is inside a clone body
• Reduced the amount of Star Destroyers and stormtroopers in the Final Order. This is because they are now an Imperial stockpile. The Sith Eternal is a combination of former Imperials and Exegol natives.
• Kylo instantly identifies that Palpatine is tricking him or Rey into an eventual possession and decides he needs to convince Rey to join him in stealing the fleet for their own purposes

Link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bRHQrb29WzMgQM8QRwRZ_5F5NIsua5J-/view?usp=sharing
I’ll provide a complete PDF on PM upon project completion. Until then, each document will be one chapter at a time.

“There will definitely be no Episodes VII-IX. That’s because there isn’t any story… The Star Wars story is really the tragedy of Darth Vader.” - George Lucas

I feel that the reason the sequels feel so disconnected from the rest of the Saga is because Anakin doesn’t play an integral role in its story. The above quote from George would have you believe that such a trilogy would be impossible to create, but I believe I have figured out a way to make the sequels relevant to Anakin’s story with ONLY changes to TROS. And it also only requires two major changes, at that. Unfortunately, it’s only really possible to execute these ideas in written form - the novelization.

So what exactly are these ideas? Well, Ben Solo should survive past the end of the movie, and Anakin must replace Han for Ben’s return. That last idea might be controversial due to how many enjoy that scene’s parallels with TFA (myself included), but believe me when I say that it will all make sense in the context of the changes I am making to elements unrelated to the overarching storyline.

In general, most of the more minor changes I am making are also implemented by Hal 9000’s The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant edit. However, I am also making changes that reflect my own interpretation of the events portrayed in the movie. The most significant of these is that I have reconciled Kylo’s past killing with his idolization of Vader. Essentially, he believes that Vader desired to eliminate all traces of the Sith and Jedi in favor of a familial dynasty. This is true if you take a look at ROTS or ESB. As a result, Kylo believes his Skywalker bloodline is superior to others, and wants to see it rule the whole galaxy. This is the new order he seeks to create in Vader’s honor, and he wants Rey to be the mother of this dynasty due to her power.

That brings me to my next topic, which is that some might consider the changes I will make to enter into “Reylo” territory. I don’t consider myself to be part of that community, but I do believe some of those ideas are necessary to create parallels with the relationship between Anakin and Padme. For example, the japor snippet will be among the many artifacts Kylo has in his quarters. It plays a role in the conclusion of this edit. When Kylo becomes Ben, he will be setting aside his evil ambitions and placing the one he cares about above himself. That is the central message behind Anakin’s fall to the dark side: his love was too self-centered, which resulted in pain and suffering.

In a nutshell, this is what I am hoping for this edit to accomplish: the tragedy of Darth Vader carries on even after his death through his grandson. Kylo glorifies all the mistakes that Anakin made, and Anakin himself has to watch from beyond the grave as his grandson suffers from repeating them. That is a true tragedy right there. Not to mention that Leia, his own daughter, still hates him. It’s only through Leia’s intervention (at Anakin’s plea) that Ben’s eyes will be opened again, and Anakin is able to appear to him.

I’d like to thank Captain Faraday for the inspiration on this project. Be sure to check out his novelization project as well.

I greatly appreciate any suggestions and feedback so long as they align with the goals of this project, outlined above. I’m definitely considering making an alternative version of this project without the two major changes though, because there are a TON of quality of life changes in this edit as well. So don’t let those throw you off. A TLJ novel edit is also a possibility later on down the line.

It would definitely be a 2 step process. At least that’s how I would do it… First putting normal eyes over the milky ones, and then taking that clip to put red/orange over it.

Luckily it’s such a brief shot that it shouldn’t be too big of a task I’d imagine.

I like the idea of having the Sith eyes toggleable. So normal eyes in one shot on the throne, and Sith eyes replacing the milky eyes in the following shot.

Later with the clone, normal while speaking, Sithy while hissing.

It reminds me of ROTS where Anakin’s eyes are Sithy while he’s really deep into the dark side, but otherwise appear normally. Only Palpatine and Maul had Sith eyes that were permanent.

I wouldn’t mind having both shots in the vision be Sithy. But I know we wanted to be more subtle with its usage.

Yup we used a documentary shot of Rey on the throne where she obviously has normal eyes. The one that actually appears in the original movie has her eyes being milky. We have both in the edit.

I was under the impression that the reason Palpatine wanted to possess Rey is because she wouldn’t decay like his clones. So replacing that with Sith eyes would definitely help.

Yeah so maybe the first flash of Rey on the throne she could have normal eyes, but then replace her milky eyes in the second flash with Sith eyes. That would ease into it as well.

While I’m not sure there are enough Leia lines in the TFA LEGO game for that, I’m sure there will be a lot for both Holdo and her in the upcoming Skywalker Saga LEGO game.

I could check it out though. What exactly did you have in mind for her to say?

I kinda doubt Ian McDiarmid has ever recorded anything like that. The best you could hope for is a foreign dub for a language that not many people know.

To me it sounds like an idea that would work better in written form. Otherwise, the viewer wouldn’t be told what language they are listening to (Sith).

EDIT: One idea I just had that is very similar to your idea is how the novel constantly refers to how mechanized his voice is. Perhaps we could apply a filter to his voice to make it sound more robotic? This would disguise it as well.

I was mostly referring to when she is on the Sith throne in that vision at the beginning of the movie.

I suppose that could work as well, but I know that you only get Sith eyes if you’re really tapped into the dark side. I’m unsure what she could be so angry about in that specific moment.

Of course, we could make up a new rule about Sith eyes - that they show up when you’re wielding a Sith artifact.

Who was it that did the sample eye test for Rey? I think having her Sith eyes during the hiss would be a complement to everything described there. I’d also be interested to see it applied to her vision.

Ok - just so we’re clear - we mess a little bit with 3PO’s lines in the cave to make it less about him knowing the exact location, modify his translation, and give Rey a vision only when she is on the Destroyer. Am I correct?

If so, then no issues here.

Wow this makes a whole lot more sense now. Sorry about the misconception.

I don’t particularly have an issue with having it be ancient. My problem is letting it show Rey anything up until 3PO has revealed how to use the dagger. After that point, Rey can use it to find it the wayfinder. That isn’t an issue.

So no visions when she first touches it in the cave. That is the only bad idea.

sherlockpotter said:

But to answer your question, the idea is that Rey needs to embrace her inner Dark Side in order for the dagger to work, and she only learns that after getting the instructions that 3PO translates from the dagger. If she just immediately decides “Imma use the Dark Side here,” there goes her inner conflict.

Okay, I can understand that. But what I’m trying to argue is that it shouldn’t show her anything at all until 3PO reveals that information to her. There’s no way to convey any sort of difference in handling it in the film.

So up until she is on Endor, the dagger will only be whispering to her because it was the murder weapon of her parents. Since she has the same blood as them, she can sense that.

I still think a 3PO dub is viable, but I’m wary of any other changes. That’s what I’m trying to say I think.

sherlockpotter said:

DZ-330 said:

Here is why I think this translation could work if we are changing the context of the dagger:

“The path to rebirth begins where our Emperor died. Heir of the Sith, embrace the darkness within. Only to you will this blade tell.”

• “The path to rebirth begins where our Emperor died.” - C-3P0 would/should immediately know this is Death Star II, which remains are on Endor.

• “Heir of the Sith, embrace the darkness within.” - Calls upon Rey to go to the dark and further conflict her in the movie, when she goes into the vault she sees what that darkness would lead to i.e. Dark Rey

• "Only to you will this blade tell.” - The blade will only show the path to the person that is the Heir to the Sith. This could work for Rey Palpatine or Rey Nobody. Rey Palpatine, there is a blood connection to Palpatine. Rey Nobody, only someone who embraces the dark side can use it.

I mean, it sounds nice in the original context of the film, but aren’t we trying to avoid that? It tells Rey exactly where to look, just based on the inscription. Who needs the physical dagger?

The purpose of the physical dagger was that it would show you the location of the wayfinder when you actually get to the location. Poe says that it would take years to scour the wreckage. In all of this convoluted stuff you guys are missing the point of the dagger itself.

It works best that the dagger whispers to Rey when she is in its proximity. If it does it anytime before then, then the question easily becomes this: why didn’t she just use the dagger to get to Endor in the first place? When it was stolen, they should have gone after it. 3P0 wasn’t needed, and so Kijimi was a waste. It makes the characters seem not that bright.

I can’t be the only one to see how potentially problematic these suggested changes are.

Yes, but what I’m saying is that there was talk of giving Rey a vision of its location. That is a big no-no imo, since it would mean that Rey could have found its location without 3P0’s instructions.