Jar Jar Bricks

Should also clarify that the reason I needed Kylo to not be speaking with Vader’s mask over the past year is because he would be brainwashed into thinking Vader was all giddy about being a Sith and loved being Palpy’s slave.

The distinction I’m trying to make with Kylo is that he discovered the truth about Vader’s legacy around the time of killing Snoke. So he’s basically trying to set up a dynasty of the Skywalker bloodline, which definitely isn’t what Palp’s wants (possession).

I agree. I made an error with that changelog, actually. I meant to say he was waiting to commune with Vader’s mask until he has destroyed the Resistance. But after Palp’s revelation he makes an exception.

You’re correct that he is more confident now that he is certain he will be able to get Rey to join him and kill Palpatine. That’s why he restores the mask. I believe I accomplished this implication in the chapter.

Sorry for the confusion.

Your v1 there is the best Sherlock. Although I’m kinda confused why Rey has to say “please”. I think if that were removed it would be seamless.

dgraham414 said:

Why are we cutting the mention of Babu Frick again?

We’re testing out an idea that the dagger is something more ancient and doesn’t mention Endor on its inscription.

Personally, I prefer the way we have things in v1 but doesn’t hurt to try things out I suppose.

CaptainFaraday said:

I think V3 cuts between shots oddly rapidly and it feels noticeable (not your fault; your editing is excellent, it’s just the very tiny amount coverage you’ve got to work with).

Have you tried putting C-3PO’s line after Rey’s?

Jannah: Are you Resistance?
Poe: That depends.
Rey: We have to get to that wreck. There’s something inside we need.
C-3PO: Don’t you know an ally when you see one?
(beat)
Jannah: I can take you there by water.

+1

I don’t watch Star Trek so I wouldn’t know. I was just basing it off of TFA because, you know, it’s also Star Wars.

Anyways, I never really noticed that about TFA. Maybe you’re right, it’s just that it’s all easy to understand.

The Force Awakens wasn’t NEARLY as jumbled as this movie though, so I find that hard to believe.

Chapter 5 Changelog:

• General streamlining and cleanup (as always). Added details to make things clearer.
• Wrote an entirely new portion to the chapter where Kylo seeks to learn the truth about Vader’s mask (seriously, why wasn’t this included in the original novel?)
• Made it more clear why Kylo is only reforging his mask now: he was waiting until he destroyed the Resistance, but now that he is about to steal everything from Palpy he feels encouraged enough to do it now. The mask is the symbol of the Ren dynasty.
• Made it less obvious that Hux is the spy. I know everyone reading this will already know what happens in the film, but Rey’s lineage is still kept a secret, so why not?
  Link:
  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NcuAxR9_1C9YxBf6M4xLeQB7goI91fLc/view?usp=sharing

I still believe there is an expanded edition of the film that JJ would have preferred to release. At least 30 mins of content that would have made things more clear. But obviously Disney wanted to make more money, so he had to cut it down.

idir_hh said:

Edit: All the stuff about Lucasfilm seams plausible, When he starts getting in to TROS…not so much.

I agree. Also find it hard to believe that more overtly romantic scenes were recorded between Rey and Kylo in TLJ which were removed.

I personally don’t remember discussing that here. Maybe you’re thinking of another thread?

One thing I’m considering in the TLJ novel is to have that be entirely the dyad, no mind linking.

I personally like the idea that their dyad started in the interrogation scene (although it would be left up to the reader to decide when it begins). Snoke knows about it and as a result makes Kylo conflicted enough for Rey to come to him.

Like I said, your approach has its merits. For this project, I’m more honed in on Palpatine’s fixation with finding a worthy vessel. As a result, the message serves its purpose as the way for him to get Kylo to him and persuade him to do his bidding.

EDIT: Saying that has reminded me that I may want to adjust his message to include the word “Exegol”

Idk, kinda seems like a lot of work for something that’s arguably somewhat inconsequential.

My goal was to make the message less shoehorned in. Whether that is accomplished by making the message private, or having the Resistance more aware of it, I feel like it doesn’t really matter.

I’ll say this: your approach would absolutely work fine as well. Definitely better than the theatrical. But that doesn’t mean that mine doesn’t work either. I’d say both of them work just as good. I only chose this path because I feel like it slightly edges the other out on clarity.

Thing is, I’ve already written the past chapters from the perspective of the message being private. So why should I go back to change everything for something that is just as good as what I already have?

That’s just my two cents. You’re free to disagree.

TestingOutTheTest said:

I proposed the Poe idea since I feel it’s pointless to mention the broadcast to be heard across the galaxy and then have the Resistance be unaware of it until Poe brings in the information (I believe it’s been pointed out in this website before).

I’m fairly certain that the Palpatine broadcast was an idea that they came up with late into production. As a result, the theatrical scene doesn’t really fit with the idea that everyone should already know about him. Rae Carson attempts to remedy this with a single line from Rey that feels super awkward imo. Obviously it is removed in the chapter I just shared.

I believe you’re suggesting that if the broadcast were mentioned in the crawl to have been heard across the galaxy then that should be reflected in this scene? I agree, but since the message wasn’t sent out to the entire galaxy in my version, it makes sense that it seems like this is the first everyone has heard about it all.

Personally, I feel like Palpatine wouldn’t send a message like that to the entire galaxy until he has possessed either Rey or Kylo. Otherwise, he is essentially claiming victory before his plan has gone through.

And as for the TFA novel, I don’t have plans to adjust it. From what I’ve heard about it, just about everything seems to line up with what I’m doing (although I haven’t read it extensively to know that for sure).

Chapter 4 Changelog:

• General streamlining and cleanup
• Palpatine’s message is played for the Resistance. They don’t know who is speaking in it until Poe clarifies that Kylo Ren found it originated with Palpatine.
• Rae Carson completely messed up the paragraph on Anakin/Palpatine. Palpatine lied about learning the secret to cheating death from his master. He later tells Anakin that together they can discover the secret, so clearly he didn’t know it at the time of ROTS.
• Restored the briefing scene to its theatrical length (no cam recordings of Star Destroyers rising)
• Inserted some references to Rey relying too much on proving herself to others
• Leia doesn’t imply that Ben is going to become a Sith. Instead, she realizes that he is likely trying to do his own thing with the First Order.
• Rey considers that maybe Maz had been wrong about her calling since Luke’s lightsaber is resisting her
• Rey worries that she isn’t good enough for her friends
  Link:
  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UpV_EbBfxdLKF5W64LzwSGP1W4aZtUsF/view?usp=sharing

Not sure that I like repeating Palpatine’s message again at the beginning (it’s also in the first chapter). If anybody has an idea on how to avoid that it would be appreciated.

sade1212 said:

Now, back to forgetting to do those Sith eyes…

Speaking of which, do you think it’s possible to replace the milky eyes with those in Rey’s vision at the beginning?

sherlockpotter said:

Hal 9000 said:

After the interrupted execution scene…

Stormtrooper: “What are you doing down here?”

C-3PO: “I am a highly-trained Resistance spy.”

Stormtrooper: “Right. And I’m Jabba the Hutt."

That’s a nice reference to Rebels.

Anyways, would we be using that AND a similar comment when Jannah’s crew show up?

Octorox has all of them assembled by character, don’t worry about it. It’s fairly simple. Just gotta find the time.

You know me and the LEGO lines haha. I may take a look at those sometime today (unless somebody beats me to it).

Cinefy said:

Tried adding some pine trees and Volcanic activity to the Vader’s castle shot, but not found anything as of yet that feels right for this particular shot in those regards so didn’t render with it. Currently have tested out backdrop Tie-Fighters for a flyby and added small camera motion as requested. Stock footage is hard to work in-terms finding a way to composite / implement Lava footage, if anyone has any ideas on that note can still test things out.

Preview (WIP02) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tYYpVeps1NvO2sV8TbntnBLJKZhGpFX5/view?usp=sharing

No offense, but it seems like the lighting and movement on your TIEs is unnatural. Also, I was personally imagining that they would move from left to right on the screen with a steady altitude.

Not sure how I feel about the shaky cam. The other two shots we have of the TIEs don’t have camera movement like that. I personally don’t remember anyone suggesting shaky cam. I remember suggestions for different animations on each of the branches but that was about it (although even that isn’t necessary).

Other than those two things, I still like the base shot you have made. IMO it looks better than the Rogue One footage. I feel like it just needs some better TIEs and no shaky cam.

TestingOutTheTest said:

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Luke in ESB wants to take down Vader because he supposedly killed his father. So he becomes a Jedi because he feels like he is doing his father proud. All of that is completely shattered when the truth is revealed to him.

Really? I thought it was because Vader was the bad guy and was putting Han and Leia in danger.

Yeah he definitely went there primarily to save his friends. But notice how eager he was to fight Vader. It’s like he completely forgot about what he was there to actually do. There’s definitely a grudge there.

Anyways, this conversation isn’t as relevant to everything else I’m doing here.

If it’s straightforward then I probably wouldn’t see the harm in trying.

Even if it doesn’t pan out in the victory celebration (something more overt) at least the clues would be all throughout the text itself.

If you read chapter 3 I tried to include it a little bit. Like I had Finn wink at Poe when they’re joking about how Chewie was “obviously” cheating.

Think I’ll just do more subtle stuff like that and if it works out I can address it in the victory celebration.

The biggest hurdle there would probably be Zorri, but even so that’s not too big of a deal because she clearly hates Poe anyways.

And Testing, that project is pretty far in advanced, but I can see how something like that might work for TLJ.

Luke in ESB wants to take down Vader because he supposedly killed his father. So he becomes a Jedi because he feels like he is doing his father proud. All of that is completely shattered when the truth is revealed to him.

So then, like you said, you could have Rey who convinces herself that her being left on Jakku was for some special purpose. This would be justification for her parent’s abandonment of her. All of that is completely shattered when Kylo snaps her out of her fantasy land to remind her that she was sold for drinking money.

So there are definitely some parallels there that work pretty well. It also leads into what I’m doing with TROS where Rey feels she needs to prove herself to everyone because she is harboring feelings of worthlessness after that revelation.