Edit: All the stuff about Lucasfilm seams plausible, When he starts getting in to TROS…not so much.
I agree. Also find it hard to believe that more overtly romantic scenes were recorded between Rey and Kylo in TLJ which were removed.
I personally don’t remember discussing that here. Maybe you’re thinking of another thread?
One thing I’m considering in the TLJ novel is to have that be entirely the dyad, no mind linking.
I personally like the idea that their dyad started in the interrogation scene (although it would be left up to the reader to decide when it begins). Snoke knows about it and as a result makes Kylo conflicted enough for Rey to come to him.
Like I said, your approach has its merits. For this project, I’m more honed in on Palpatine’s fixation with finding a worthy vessel. As a result, the message serves its purpose as the way for him to get Kylo to him and persuade him to do his bidding.
EDIT: Saying that has reminded me that I may want to adjust his message to include the word “Exegol”
Idk, kinda seems like a lot of work for something that’s arguably somewhat inconsequential.
My goal was to make the message less shoehorned in. Whether that is accomplished by making the message private, or having the Resistance more aware of it, I feel like it doesn’t really matter.
I’ll say this: your approach would absolutely work fine as well. Definitely better than the theatrical. But that doesn’t mean that mine doesn’t work either. I’d say both of them work just as good. I only chose this path because I feel like it slightly edges the other out on clarity.
Thing is, I’ve already written the past chapters from the perspective of the message being private. So why should I go back to change everything for something that is just as good as what I already have?
That’s just my two cents. You’re free to disagree.
I proposed the Poe idea since I feel it’s pointless to mention the broadcast to be heard across the galaxy and then have the Resistance be unaware of it until Poe brings in the information (I believe it’s been pointed out in this website before).
I’m fairly certain that the Palpatine broadcast was an idea that they came up with late into production. As a result, the theatrical scene doesn’t really fit with the idea that everyone should already know about him. Rae Carson attempts to remedy this with a single line from Rey that feels super awkward imo. Obviously it is removed in the chapter I just shared.
I believe you’re suggesting that if the broadcast were mentioned in the crawl to have been heard across the galaxy then that should be reflected in this scene? I agree, but since the message wasn’t sent out to the entire galaxy in my version, it makes sense that it seems like this is the first everyone has heard about it all.
Personally, I feel like Palpatine wouldn’t send a message like that to the entire galaxy until he has possessed either Rey or Kylo. Otherwise, he is essentially claiming victory before his plan has gone through.
And as for the TFA novel, I don’t have plans to adjust it. From what I’ve heard about it, just about everything seems to line up with what I’m doing (although I haven’t read it extensively to know that for sure).
Chapter 4 Changelog:
Not sure that I like repeating Palpatine’s message again at the beginning (it’s also in the first chapter). If anybody has an idea on how to avoid that it would be appreciated.
Now, back to forgetting to do those Sith eyes…
Speaking of which, do you think it’s possible to replace the milky eyes with those in Rey’s vision at the beginning?
After the interrupted execution scene…
Stormtrooper: “What are you doing down here?”
C-3PO: “I am a highly-trained Resistance spy.”
Stormtrooper: “Right. And I’m Jabba the Hutt."
That’s a nice reference to Rebels.
Anyways, would we be using that AND a similar comment when Jannah’s crew show up?
Octorox has all of them assembled by character, don’t worry about it. It’s fairly simple. Just gotta find the time.
You know me and the LEGO lines haha. I may take a look at those sometime today (unless somebody beats me to it).
Tried adding some pine trees and Volcanic activity to the Vader’s castle shot, but not found anything as of yet that feels right for this particular shot in those regards so didn’t render with it. Currently have tested out backdrop Tie-Fighters for a flyby and added small camera motion as requested. Stock footage is hard to work in-terms finding a way to composite / implement Lava footage, if anyone has any ideas on that note can still test things out.
Preview (WIP02) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tYYpVeps1NvO2sV8TbntnBLJKZhGpFX5/view?usp=sharing
No offense, but it seems like the lighting and movement on your TIEs is unnatural. Also, I was personally imagining that they would move from left to right on the screen with a steady altitude.
Not sure how I feel about the shaky cam. The other two shots we have of the TIEs don’t have camera movement like that. I personally don’t remember anyone suggesting shaky cam. I remember suggestions for different animations on each of the branches but that was about it (although even that isn’t necessary).
Other than those two things, I still like the base shot you have made. IMO it looks better than the Rogue One footage. I feel like it just needs some better TIEs and no shaky cam.
Luke in ESB wants to take down Vader because he supposedly killed his father. So he becomes a Jedi because he feels like he is doing his father proud. All of that is completely shattered when the truth is revealed to him.
Really? I thought it was because Vader was the bad guy and was putting Han and Leia in danger.
Yeah he definitely went there primarily to save his friends. But notice how eager he was to fight Vader. It’s like he completely forgot about what he was there to actually do. There’s definitely a grudge there.
Anyways, this conversation isn’t as relevant to everything else I’m doing here.
If it’s straightforward then I probably wouldn’t see the harm in trying.
Even if it doesn’t pan out in the victory celebration (something more overt) at least the clues would be all throughout the text itself.
If you read chapter 3 I tried to include it a little bit. Like I had Finn wink at Poe when they’re joking about how Chewie was “obviously” cheating.
Think I’ll just do more subtle stuff like that and if it works out I can address it in the victory celebration.
The biggest hurdle there would probably be Zorri, but even so that’s not too big of a deal because she clearly hates Poe anyways.
And Testing, that project is pretty far in advanced, but I can see how something like that might work for TLJ.
Luke in ESB wants to take down Vader because he supposedly killed his father. So he becomes a Jedi because he feels like he is doing his father proud. All of that is completely shattered when the truth is revealed to him.
So then, like you said, you could have Rey who convinces herself that her being left on Jakku was for some special purpose. This would be justification for her parent’s abandonment of her. All of that is completely shattered when Kylo snaps her out of her fantasy land to remind her that she was sold for drinking money.
So there are definitely some parallels there that work pretty well. It also leads into what I’m doing with TROS where Rey feels she needs to prove herself to everyone because she is harboring feelings of worthlessness after that revelation.
Also it clears the way for StormPilot, which should obviously be endgame.
I wouldn’t entirely be opposed to suggesting something like this at the end. But I definitely wouldn’t want to draw too much attention to it or else it would feel to much like a fan fiction.
Hold up, this entire project is a fan fiction shipping lmao. Oh well, I’ll just have to see what feels natural in the end.
My version really relies on how much her father hates Exegol. He could have PTSD after all the crazy experiments they put him through.
The first thing I want Ochi to tell them is that he’s taking them to Exegol and they’re never going to be able to leave.
So he has two choices: tell Ochi where Rey is and go back to the living hell that is Exegol to him, or keep that to himself and just end the misery. I agree that they would rather keep on living than spite Palpatine, but that’s exactly why I added in what I just said. He doesn’t want to suffer as a guinea pig anymore and would rather die.
A brief question (before I start reading your drafts), does Rey remain a Palpatine in this edition? It would be a nice balance if her ascendancy was kept the same, but her parents were terrible people anyways.
Yup, you definitely don’t have to, but if you read my previous conversation with Testing that’s actually what I’m going for (Rey Palpatine with terrible parents).
They still ditched her and sold her into slavery because her father wanted nothing to do with the Force after everything he experiences on Exegol. He becomes SUPER scared when he sees that little Rey is Force-sensitive. He left Exegol because he never wanted to return there, and she is reminding him of Palps. He just wanted to live a normal life with the woman he fell in love with on Jakku.
Then Ochi comes under the order of Palpatine to force them to live on Exegol for the rest of their lives because he sees that they can produce Force-sensitive offspring. He’ll only let them live to do that if they reveal Rey’s location. Her father doesn’t want to go back to Exegol, so they decide to not reveal her location purely to spite Palpatine. He would rather die than go back to a planet that is essentially hell to him.
I will admit it is somewhat strange that TROS creates the implication that the reason Finn betrayed the First Order was because of his Force-sensitivity awakening, and yet at the same time he meets a bunch of former First Order troopers who clearly are NOT Force-sensitive.
I don’t think that Finn would want to tell her about his Force-sensitivity only as his last words, and I definitely do NOT what to create the implication that Finn is in love with her. As a result, I find a hard time justifying keeping in him trying to tell her something.
I’m not entirely sure what I want to do with him yet, but it will likely have something to do with a Stormtrooper rebellion ALA Duel of the Fates.
Chapter 3 Changelog:
That sounds like something I might be able to fit in his rant to Rey at the end, but I would be concerned that it would kinda go against what he’s trying to do there (convince Rey to do the same thing).
That is the other idea I had, yes. That whoever is left standing after that fight would be much more inclined to the dark side and therefore willing to make the sacrifice. I just couldn’t find a way to organically place that within the first chapter. Maybe towards the end of the novel if I feel it is necessary.
My most recent theory is that Kylo can read Sith, so he must’ve read it at some point while it was in his chambers. But again, I don’t think the film really explicitly tells us.
This actually makes the most sense, come to think of it. First Order droids also wouldn’t have the same restrictions as a Republic Era droid like 3PO.
Anyways, I’m sure it would be pretty easy to modify various dialog throughout the novel to reflect these ideas. For example:
Palpatine: “Weak, like your parents.”
Rey: “Yes, they were weak. But at least they saved me from you.”
So Rey doesn’t admit they are strong, but acknowledges that their selfish actions saved her in the end.