Jar Jar Bricks

The only way for bad parents to work would be if Ochi never caught her parents. Furthermore, it might be a good idea in that case for Rey to be the one who killed them with her Palpy lightning ala Chewbacca shuttle.

It’s something I could consider for a v2 of my TROS project, but I haven’t made up my mind yet. There are further implications with it, such as the fact that the ship means nothing to Rey now, and the dagger wasn’t her parents’ murder weapon.

Yup. That looks more in line with what is seen in the show.

Bad Batch Visual Spoiler:

I’m planning on removing the line entirely. So the reveal that her parents are dead is saved until TROS. Another deviation from Poppa’s edit I suppose.

With the latest Bad Batch episode

(light spoiler)

it seems like it’s canon that those experimental cloning tubes are filled with green liquid. Are we going to stick with the red or is green a possibility? I seem to remember Poppa making two different versions.

Part 3 Changelog:

• Luke mentions that Rey should create something new instead of becoming a Jedi. This harmonizes well with the ending of my TROS novel where the Jedi Order is renamed to the Skywalker Order. Not to mention that Kylo proposes a similar thing later on in the story.
• Luke mentions a “vicious cycle”. I want to emphasize the idea that Luke believes this cycle of dark times followed light times and vice versa will never end, thus why he believes removing the Jedi from the equation will balance things out.
• The original novel never makes it clear that Finn left the bridge before it exploded. I corrected this.
• Removed useless Rose thoughts that went on for paragraphs (especially since I’m removing the Rebellion ring)
• Holdo mentions “security concerns” that currently prevent her from sharing information about her plan. She calls Poe “a separate security concern” due to his recklessness.
• Tweaked the Chewbacca scene that felt (at least to me) to be blatantly advocating veganism. Not that I have a thing against vegans, but I’d prefer for this to simply be a funny moment.
• Modified some of Finn’s new dialogue that felt like it didn’t belong. “Oh my God” doesn’t belong in Star Wars.
• Made Rose’s thought process about hyperspace tracking be based on theoretical and experimental knowledge. She identifies it as one possible explanation.
  Link:
  https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M-rgXFRMDt3bcNlRaF5iIHF7HZ4brYKnULTQWH6Sg9E/edit?usp=sharing

I use Shotcut but splicing together multiple video files often causes audio pops and such so I don’t recommend it much.

Agreed Burbin. If we are having the rest of Kijimi rise up against the FO, why would we deny Babu that same opportunity? Isn’t the whole point of this movie about the common people standing up for what’s right, even if it wasn’t predicted that they would?

I was recently watching the documentary on TROS and apparently they went through a bunch of different items which would give the coordinates to the trio before they landed on the dagger. Apparently their original idea was that the dagger itself was forged at the time the Death Star fell (presumably at the command of Palpatine), and it was created to guide Sith followers to Exegol. So it just ended up in Ochi’s possession I supppose. Again, doesn’t really make much sense, though. Were they meant to bring the wayfinder back to the Death Star after they were through with it? And if so, how do they get back to Exegol again? Lmao.

I suppose Ochi could have been the “ferryman”, if you will, guiding fellow cultists to Exegol, but that just brings us back full circle: why would he need the location’s precise coordinates? In case he dies or gives it to someone I guess?

Anyways, enough of that crap. One thing I want to correct Sherlock is that Babu wasn’t beaming their location to the entire galaxy. It was only to just that moon. Kylo tracked them down a different way.

I disagree with that interpretation. In fact, I’m almost inclined to call it invalid since it’s clear what the intended meaning was. That word choice of “tracking” was made intentionally.

You could have that same exact criticism with the original movie. Congratulations, you played yourself. In the scene between Leia and Poe in the transport ship Leia says that Holdo knew they were tracking their main ship. How did she know this? Never given an answer.

Well, as a reader, we would know at this point that there is no spy. There is an entire scene dedicated to Hux explaining his hyperspace tracking technology. So we would be on Poe’s side, because we know Holdo is wrong. But of course, the twist later on would be that Holdo did suspect hyperspace tracking, but didn’t want to take any risks.

So it’s the exact same thing as you just described.

So how about this for the Holdo scene? This way, she isn’t directly stating that she suspects a spy, but Poe is still able to interpret it that way:

“Our plan… Captain? Not Commander, yes? Wasn’t it Leia’s last official act to demote you? For your Dreadnought plan? Where we lost our entire bomber fleet?”

Poe, astonished, found himself at a loss for how to defend himself. “Captain, Commander, fine. I just want to know what we’re doing.”

But Holdo wasn’t finished. Her eyes bored into his.

“Of course you do. Unfortunately for you, it is a need-to-know plan, and you are no longer an executive officer. So until security concerns are cleared, I suggest you stick to your post, and follow my orders, Captain.”

Holdo turned around, but now Poe was worked up. She was suggesting that somebody in the Resistance fleet was leaking their position to the First Order - and that was how they were tracking them through hyperspace.

“You dare question my allegiance to the Resistance?” he protested to her back. “After my parents sacrificed so much?”

Holdo swirled back around. “I never suggested such a thing. You’re a liability, flyboy. Impulsive. Dangerous. The last thing we need right now.”

And with that the new commander of the Resistance stalked off, leaving a stunned starfighter ace in her wake.

Eh, not a big fan of impersonators at all. Even though poppa did a good job, even that line stands out to me.

RL, I think that line would best be placed when Ben makes his presence known to her right before she’s about to strike down Palpatine. That would be her darkest moment, where she feels the most alone.

There also needs to be a line replacement for Poe when Rey senses the dagger. Either that, or some clever editing to cut around it.

EDIT: The easiest solution there would be “Where?” instead of “Why?”. Just my 2 cents.

Good to hear we’re keeping the original crawl. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? Besides that word replacement or course.

Yeah Burbin is right again, my bad. If we want to have emphasis on the Skywalker rebellion idea, then that should be the motivation behind Kylo seeking out mysterious power. And thus the fleet is inticing to him because it would ensure submission to the FO.

Testing, my guy, you have to be trolling rn. If Rey was taught everything the Jedi collectively knows then I guess the Jedi knew just about nothing.

I like Sherlock’s crawl. Pretty good stuff.

EDIT: Also, wanted to mention that you’re flat out wrong Testing. Kylo has seen the throne in Ascendant. He sees it in his Vader mask vision, right after Palps tells him to do as he asks. Basically enticing him to take it. But we want Kylo to NOT want that throne, because it is Sith. He only cares about the fleet.

I don’t buy that. There’s only one throne in the film, and it’s called the Sith throne. I don’t know why he’d want that when he wants the Sith to end.

And also, he definitely says that line with the helmet on.

Thing is, where the hell are you going to get that dialogue? Sure, maybe the AI, but then you’d have to figure out how to duplicate the mask’s voice filter, which is harder than it sounds.

I think Hal’s solution is fine enough - simply clipping the end of his line about taking the throne.

Wow that’s really generous of you Nev! Excited the project is nearing completion.

Yeah maybe subtle is the better way to go here. Literally one line mentioning the possibility of a spy would have saved Holdo’s character for me. So I’ll see what it looks like when I get there.

Well obviously there is no real spy. So I presume we’re talking about a hypothetical in which there is no tracking just a spy? Then I still don’t see the issue. The spy would have to stay there to assure victory.

Nah. I feel like it would make them realize they’re busted and return to the FO fleet while they can. Idk that’s just how I would see it. Then again, I doubt either of us know what standard military protocol is in that situation.

Yeah it would be at that point where he would be like, “You think one of us is a spy? Hell, if anybody is, it’s you!”