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Jar Jar Bricks

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Join date
15-Jun-2019
Last activity
8-Jul-2025
Posts
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Post
#1436250
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

I like Sherlock’s crawl. Pretty good stuff.

EDIT: Also, wanted to mention that you’re flat out wrong Testing. Kylo has seen the throne in Ascendant. He sees it in his Vader mask vision, right after Palps tells him to do as he asks. Basically enticing him to take it. But we want Kylo to NOT want that throne, because it is Sith. He only cares about the fleet.

Post
#1436101
Topic
The Last Jedi Expanded Edition by Jason Fry: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v1 AVAILABLE)
Time

Hmmm I hadn’t considered the fact that we’re supposed to be suspicious of her. I just assumed that Poe would be mad at her, trying to convince her that they have this brand new hyperspace tracking technology, and then Holdo is all like, “Oh really? You mean technology that is theoretically impossible?” So Poe sends Finn and Rose on their secret mission because it seems like Holdo doesn’t believe him, but in reality she was just being prepared for every possibility like a good leader should be, and she wasn’t sharing her plan with any underlings until she was positive the spy theory was wrong.

And yeah, I figured the fact that the FO mysteriously discovered their base’s location would lend credence to the spy theory.

Post
#1436099
Topic
The Last Jedi Expanded Edition by Jason Fry: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v1 AVAILABLE)
Time

Here’s the changelog for part 2 (also I forgot to mention for part 1 that I removed the prologue since it serves no narrative purpose):

  • General cleanup, adding changes from Rekindled, etc.
  • As stated previously, Luke thrusts his father’s lightsaber back at Rey and tells her to leave the island
  • Removed descriptions that made Luke’s X-wing out to be unsalvageable. Instead, Rey notes that it could be flight-worthy again, but it would take the right parts.
  • Hux remembers the Knights of Ren when considering all Force-sensitives in the First Order
  • Snoke tells Kylo he doesn’t deserve his mask instead of calling it ridiculous
  • Made it clear Kylo destroys his mask because he’s frustrated that he isn’t living up to Vader’s legacy (the original novel leaves this up to interpretation)
  • Included the deleted scene “Luke Has a Moment”
  • When Leia is meditating in her quarters and sensing the presences of everyone on board the Raddus, referred to Finn’s presence as “an inexplicably bright beacon of light.” Make of that what you will.
  • Made the Finn/Poe jacket scene more intimate, while still having Finn wanting to leave to save Rey
  • In Poe’s inner dialog, I made it so that he says Leia “convinced him to leave his old life behind for the Resistance” and that “she’d taken him in”. This replaces information that would have been contradictory with what we know about Poe’s backstory now.
  • Leia mentions that she knows of “a few ways” the First Order could have tracked them through hyperspace. This is a set up for Holdo’s spy theory.
  • Leia refers to an adolescent Ben as tormented instead of alone
  • In Kylo’s inner monologue, he now says that he’d somehow been able to hear his parents’ private conversations in his head, where they were “frightened of him, ashamed of him”. Palpatine could have fabricated these voices in his head, or he forced him to hear them.
  • Removed the terrible reference to midichlorians while Leia is floating in space. I don’t have a problem with them conceptually, but this isn’t the right time for them to be brought up. Kinda like what happened in Episode 1. It feels way too ham-fisted.

Link:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TJTWPa0iJX1R8TqhTNEUxJf_4nd6EMu2rSir68vKRr4/edit?usp=sharing

Post
#1436059
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

DZ-330 said:

If we’re opening up the crawl debate again…

Flames of rebellion burn across
the galaxy. Inspired by Luke Skywalker’s
heroic sacrifice, countless systems have
taken a stand in the name of RESISTANCE.

To suffocate this growing uprising,
the tyrannical FIRST ORDER has
silenced all communication between
neighboring systems.

Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
has traveled to Mustafar, chasing
whispers of an ancient artifact,
that would allow him to destroy any
threat to his rule…

I like this one. Only two modifications I’d make are removing the bold font of First Order and Resistance. Also, I feel like the last paragraph of the one we currently have is better. Although perhaps we could bold HIDDEN POWER in that one.

I really dig the quote from the DOTF crawl in this.

Post
#1435984
Topic
The Last Jedi Expanded Edition by Jason Fry: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v1 AVAILABLE)
Time

Yeah I’m not one of those people that think it has to be shown that she was trained before she saved herself like that. Her being the daughter of the most powerful Force user is enough for me. I mostly mentioned that for the people who take issue with it.

Either way, Jason Fry builds up her Force potential quite well so it would be a shame to lose this scene.

Post
#1435981
Topic
The Last Jedi Expanded Edition by Jason Fry: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v1 AVAILABLE)
Time

Here’s a (possibly?) controversial decision I’ve made. I’m keeping the Leia flying into the Raddus stuff. Poppa’s edit removes it, but I really think it works quite well in novel form for the following reasons:

  1. There are multiple pages beforehand devoted to what Leia learned from Luke about the Force in her training.
  2. No wonky CGI effects that make her look like Mary Poppins.
  3. Descriptions of what’s going on with her body while she’s out in space which imo makes things more believable.

Honestly, the only reason I don’t like Leia flying in the movie is because of the CGI. I don’t dislike the idea in general (especially since it’s built up in the novel), so I think this works fine.

Post
#1435789
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

Peonthegrate said:

One Of my other worries about having more sith eyes is that even Anakin of all people, Only had sith eyes for maybe… 5 or 10 seconds in episode 3, not even when he was murdering children so I’m worried about it being unprecedented.

Well, following sequel logic it would be because she is related to Palpatine, who has Sith eyes at all times. Definitely not a good reason, but I could see it.

Also, Kylo just hurt (or possibly killed) her first friend, so it makes sense she’d be super angry.

Post
#1435734
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

stevepaynter said:

This is a good compromise…I think it looks great.

I still think it would look cool to have the Sith eyes during the whole fight scene to show Rey is in dark side the whole time. However, it appears this is an unpopular opinion by the majority here.

I’d be interested in seeing it as well but he needn’t put all of that work into it since it seems like the majority want something subtle.