I agree Law. That would be the most seamless line since his mouth is covered at the time and there’s a huge silence before “What could you give me?”
Especially if the AI is being improved I have a feeling it will end up sounding fantastic.
But since the previous part of the line mentions Luke’s legend, I interpreted her “place” that she’s referring to as whether she should become a Jedi or whatnot. Not denying that her parents don’t play a significant role with her self-worth, but I think Rey is just repeating what she did with Han to Luke (father figure). Kylo says as much later on.
Huh, I must have not understood you correctly in one of your other posts from some time ago. I’ll see about reverting it back. Any other suggestions?
Maybe not really reverting it but finding a new place for the original line? To suggest Rey wants to find her self-worth/place in the story, and also that she means to achieve that by following Luke.
Simple solution:
“The galaxy may need a legend. I need someone to show me my place in all of this. Somebody to look up to. And you didn’t fail Kylo - he failed you. I won’t.”
Or I could just put it somewhere else like you said.
She is a Jedi apprentice/Padawan, yes. But she is not a Jedi Knight yet, which would make her a complete Jedi. That’s why Vader says Luke isn’t a Jedi yet on Cloud City.
Huh, I must have not understood you correctly in one of your other posts from some time ago. I’ll see about reverting it back. Any other suggestions?
Mostly because the following line by Luke (which was in the original novel) insinuates that Rey is trying to be like Luke. Which kinda ties in with her seeking his approval.
Plus, I was under the impression that you disagreed with that line? Or was I wrong about that?
How’s this for lesson two? I appreciate feedback here. I could also send the caretaker village stuff but most of that remains the same.
“I’ve shown you that you don’t need the Jedi to use the Force,” Luke said. “So why do you need the Jedi Order?”
Rey peered at him. Surely this was another one of his tests. She had heard the tales of what he’d been able to do with the Force. She’d seen with her own eyes what Kylo had used that potential to accomplish. And she sensed - with a mix of anticipation of fear - what her own growing powers might one day allow.
But he was right that no one could stand alone against an army like that of the First Order. No matter how powerful they may be.
“To fight dark side users,” Rey decided. “They also kept the peace and protected the light in the galaxy for a thousand generations… and I can tell from that look on your face that every word I just said was wrong.”
Luke smiled and studied the mosaic on the floor. She wondered how long ago it had been created, and by whose hands.
“You got ‘a thousand generations’ right,” he admitted. “But even those times had their fair share of needless conflict and suffering.”
Rey didn’t feel like starting a history lesson spanning thousands of years, so she remained silent.
“Lesson Two,” Luke continued. “Now that they’re extinct, the Jedi are deified and romanticized. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy. Hubris.”
“That’s not true!” she protested, staring at him in shock. If he was the last of the Order, the galaxy needed him to be its custodian, its preservationist. The galaxy had no shortage of those who wanted to see the Jedi discredited, buried, and forgotten.
“They served the Republic instead of the will of the Force,” he elaborated. “They failed to uphold peace and justice on worlds outside its borders, and didn’t act on the rest unless granted express permission by politicians. Their incompetence was enough to spawn the Separatist movement, headed by a Sith Lord who had left the Jedi Order for these reasons and more.”
“Yes, but you’re forgetting how-”
“Their war against the Separatists allowed Emperor Palpatine to rise, create the Empire, and wipe them out,” Luke added. “They have a habit of creating their worst enemies. It was the Jedi who failed my father and created Darth Vader.”
“And a Jedi who saved him!” Rey finally managed to interject. “Yes, the most hated man in the galaxy - but you saw there was conflict in him. You believed that he wasn’t gone, that he could be turned.”
She didn’t understand. It was troubling enough that Luke had rejected the legacy of the Jedi, but whatever had happened to him had led him to reject his own legacy as well. Not for the first time, she wondered if he had slipped into madness during his years of exile. But the bearded man in the rough-hewn woolens didn’t look insane. Just profoundly sad.
“And I became a legend,” Luke said. “For many years there was balance. The darkness retreated. Until I saw Ben. My nephew with that mighty Skywalker blood. In my hubris, I thought I could train him, I could pass on my strengths.”
His eyes were far away now, interrogating the past. Rey wondered if he relived these memories every day, brooding on the top of the island as when she’d first met him, or if he never did - if it was her arrival that had forced him to confront the events which had caused him to shut himself away from family and friends and vanish.
“Han was… Han about it,” Luke said. “But Leia trusted me with her son. I took him and a dozen students - ripped away from their parents as the Jedi require - and began a training temple. But by the time I realized I was no match for the darkness growing inside him it was too late.”
“What happened?” Rey asked gently.
Ben Solo - no longer a boy but not yet a man - looks up in surprise and alarm. His uncle Luke has come into his chambers, at night, and now stands over him. There is no sign of trouble - Luke is unarmed - but his Master’s face is creased with concern. And the Force is broiling with danger.
Ben’s hand reaches up, not toward Luke but beyond him, to the stones of the ceiling - bidding those stones to obey his command and come crashing down on Luke’s head. To crush and bury him.
“He must have thought I was dead,” Luke said. “When I came to, the temple was on fire. He had vanished alongside a handful of my students, and the rest were burned alive. Leia blamed Snoke, but I was the one who broke our family. I failed. Because I was Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master. A legend.”
He said that last word as if it was something terrible - a burden and a curse. But Rey held his gaze.
“The galaxy may need a legend. I need someone to look up to. And you didn’t fail Kylo - he failed you. I won’t.”
Luke regarded her quietly, and when he spoke again his voice was quiet.
“I don’t know who’s more dangerous - the pupil who wants to destroy me, or the one who wants to become me.”
One other meta thought - this story clearly likes subverting expectations and bathos, and I’ve gotta say this would probably be one of the most egregious cases of it. Can you imagine if Lando actually showed up for 10 seconds in this movie? People would have been furious lol.
But knowing what I know from TROS I feel like this just makes the most sense. Maz calls him the “second-best smuggler [she’s] ever met” in the novelization, so I feel like I kinda have to do it lol.
Well, yeah, Maz mentions that he is a supporter of the Resistance in the holo scene. And Canto Bight is mostly a neutral zone, since they provide arms to both the Resistance and First Order.
And he’s supposed to be in retirement, too. My TROS novel just says that he was staying out of things after his daughter was taken, and he doesn’t want to kill stormtroopers anymore as a result. I guess the problem is that none of this would be explained until TROS, and until DJ reveals that they supply the Resistance as well he might come off as a First Order supporter.
I think I should just go back to the Maz scene and give him a reason to be there like you said lol.
So I had a thought recently. Should I make the Master Codebreaker Maz refers to be Lando? I can do this since I don’t have him as a hermit on Pasaana in my TROS novel. Rather, he explicitly traveled there to help them.
Finn and Rose wouldn’t have to recognize him. It would mostly just be a cameo appearance before TROS so he isn’t forgotten for way too long.
Yeah that’s what I was getting at by saying that, Hal. It would be cool, but mean there would be more work to do.
Sounds good. I know that if we went with Sith eyes in this instance that there would be a push to also put it when dark Rey flares her teeth so I guess we should keep that in mind.
Were we going to make her eyes normal or Sithy?
So I got real busy with my personal life today, unfortunately. Tomorrow, I promise I will send Speaking of AI the lines. Here is the video I will be sending him just in case anyone here had anything to say about it.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1P52nZKa4kmdAy6srNg9wyKYvHR2FtGdM/view
Quick correction - it would be “No one’s ever really gone” not “Nobody’s ever really gone”. I appreciate the inclusion nonetheless!
Regarding the clone line, I don’t think it’s necessary. “What could you give me?” already has a lot of meanings; it conveys Kylo’s grudge against Palps for being a threat to his power, and him being nothing but a decaying, rotting clone husk of himself.
That line wouldn’t go anywhere at all, so I don’t really understand your point.
Working on the video to send to him right now. I also liked the mockup that JXEditor did by having him say to Palpatine, “You’re just a clone. What could you give me?”
Also this. Please have this produced. Especially since Kylo’s mouth is blocked by his lightsaber during this shot.
Isn’t deepfaking the mouth possible, to match with the mouth movements for my proposed lines?
Also, I’ll get him to do some lines for some scenes that people have tested out in the Rey Nobody thread. Also, an idea came up for me. How would you all feel if he calls out Rey’s name at the end when she looks off into the horizon to see him, Luke and Leia?
Ooh I like this.
So here’s another Holdo/spy scene. I think it’s coming together rather nicely. It’s kinda mindblowing to me how this one change lets Holdo remain dislikable and untrustworthy, yet at the same time you could say that she’s doing the right thing.
Poe surveyed the bridge. Connix wasn’t the only one who had her doubts. He saw rigid backs, and eyes fixed on monitors. It was a commander’s job to sense that, to read her bridge and her people. Holdo either couldn’t or wouldn’t.
It made Poe angry. Leia had built up the Resistance, despite the New Republic’s apathy, First Order sabotage, and a chronic lack of credits, equipment, and personnel. And now Holdo - someone Leia had trusted - refused to trust the men and women that had helped this movement grow.
“So we abandon the Anodyne,” Poe said. “What changes after that, Admiral? What happens when there are no ships left to abandon?”
Holdo fixed Poe with her gaze.
“You want a daring plan,” she said. “A dashing hero, single-handedly saving the day. Is that what you want?”
“I just want to know the plan,” Poe said helplessly. “I think we all do.”
“At the appropriate time, everyone will,” Holdo said. “But I still have my concerns. Do you know the whereabouts of your stormtrooper friend?”
Poe’s frustrations boiled over. He wanted to scream. Finn was an admirable man. His actions were instrumental in the destruction of Starkiller Base. He was probably the last person he’d suspect of being a traitor.
“How can we trust you when you don’t even trust us?”
“Captain Dameron. If you cannot answer my straightforward question, then I have no choice but to delay divulging any information,” she replied. “If you’re here to serve the Resistance, then follow my orders.”
And with that she turned back to her monitor, dismissing him. Poe, stunned, looked around the auxiliary bridge and found no other officer comfortable enough to meet his gaze.
Maybe “I’m sorry!” as well as the "Rey"s and "No"s.
And I doubt the AI could deliver it properly but a muttering of “Finish what he started” or some variation of that would be neat.
I looked at the Ben death scene and unfortunately there is no shot of Rey right after he vanished completely, only while he’s lying there. I guess they could be rearranged, but otherwise a new line wouldn’t be able to fit there sadly.
EDIT: There IS a smiling reaction of Maz after him and Leia vanish, and she is Force-sensitive enough to hear those voices, but it would create the impression that Ben is talking to Maz which is weird since they have no previous connection.
Eh, it said this in the original novelization and I’m fine with keeping it tbh. It helps convey the power of their connection, which is what I’m most concerned about, not necessarily how she knew to use it.
Here’s a cool passage that takes place right after Kylo and Rey’s first mind link. I didn’t really change much, I just made the wording more clearly allude to the dyad and I even replaced the word “ghost” with “phantom” in reference to Vader as a subtle hint for what’s to come.
She was still shaken by the manifestation of Kylo Ren. In a place she had come to think of as at least a beautiful sanctuary, seeing him had been an unpleasant surprise, to say the least.
After he’d immobilized her on Takodana, Kylo had taken her to Starkiller Base, to pry her memory of the map to this ancient place out of her head. He had probed her thoughts, sifting and sorting, and seen so much that she would have kept from him - him and anybody else, for that matter.
Her desperate certainty that her abandonment on Jakku had been a mistake, or a grim necessity that would be put right by her lost family, if only she waited long enough and patiently enough. Her terror and despair that she was deluding herself, and would spend her days in isolation because she wasn’t good enough, and end up as anonymous bones in the sand. Her dreams of an island amid a trackless ocean - the very island on which she now found herself.
Kylo had rummaged through these hopes and fears, things he had no right to. But as he searched, something had formed, or perhaps merely made itself known. Even as he cruelly scoured her mind, his own had mysteriously revealed itself to her. She felt his rage, like a ruinous storm that filled his head, his lust to dominate all others, and his desire to humiliate those that had wronged him. But she also felt his hurt, and his own feelings of abandonment. And his fear - that he would never prove as strong as Darth Vader, the phantom who haunted his dreams.
Kylo had retreated at finding Rey in his head - had practically fled from her. But that had not been the end of that strange, seemingly sudden connection. She began to see more - far more. Somehow, almost instinctively, she knew how he accessed some of the powers at his command - even though she didn’t understand them. It was as if his mind had become intertwined with hers, unlocking and flinging open the doors to his knowledge and training.
But now Rey couldn’t shut those doors, and she feared what else had been set loose upon her.
It’s a donation page where they will share their finished edit for people who helped out with production.
That’s the definition of selling the film! LMAO.
I’ve had enough of talking to you guys. Hopefully your sock account is banned soon. Go back to your SubscribeStar page.
That was before I and many others realized how many fantastic people are on this forum who can do that sort of thing without engaging in nefarious practices.
And they ARE trying to sell the movie itself. Here is your proof:
Yes, it would be free after 2 months, but the first 2 months are illegal since they are trying to sell access to the entire film.
Except you’re wrong, bud. There is a difference between placing a fan film/fan content behind a paywall, and an actual FILM that was distributed in theaters, except with fan-made stuff sprinkled in there. I’m not referring so much to the ideas of the property, but rather the film itself, which is absolutely property of Lucasfilm. You can apply cosmetics and bonus scenes to it, but it’s still a film that you have no right selling.
That quote you provided isn’t a full picture either. I did mention right after it, “I’m fairly certain that since the CGI was commissioned, by all rights that video belongs to the Fixing Disney Star Wars team. We would have to communicate with them or settle some sort of deal in order to use it.”
I never “shar[ed] their content”. I sent a private video link back to them! LMAO! How is that a breach? Clearly you don’t like accepting ideas from people unless they’re giving back money. Scummy scummy scummy.
You are way too optimistic if you think that shit is ever going to show up on here. Maybe with some fringe editors, but the main editors here aren’t going to touch that garbage with a 6 foot pole. That’s if it’s ever released, lol. I wouldn’t be surprised if they bail out.
EDIT: Perhaps you’re referring to the image I shared with this forum? In that case, I still don’t see the problem. It’s a static image, hardly much of a concern whatsoever.