Jar Jar Bricks

Hmmm that’s actually an interesting idea. Definitely ties into the name: “Festival of the Ancestors”. I do wonder if that might actually make the believability of the trio encountering this event even more ridiculous, however, lol. Since a generation of humans is like 70-80 years. Unless the event ran for like an entire year or something crazy like that.

As for the other part of your post, here are some things from each “generation” of Star Wars I’ve incorporated into this edit:

• The japor snippet plays a crucial role in Kylo’s transformation to Ben Solo
• Plagueis and his form of essence transfer factoring into how Palpy survived
• Rey’s father being a mutated/engineered clone like the Bad Batch
• Sith stormtroopers being clones of multiple templates with inhibitor chips (v2 change)
• Ben’s blaster on Exegol being a gift from Lando and forged with chromium from Naboo
• Endor from ROTJ as the moon the trio travel to instead of a new moon
• Luke Skywalker’s severed hand in Palpy’s citadel (v2 change)

I could go on but I think you get the point.

A rough draft of this project is now available. The most important changes to the overall story of TLJ are listed below (this is in no way a comprehensive changelog):

• Hux is more intimidating and has less moments which directly poke fun at him
• Subtle hints at Finn’s Force-sensitivity, Poe’s spice running, Rey’s lineage, and Palpatine being behind everything
• Greatly expanded upon Luke’s character. He gives more reasons why the Jedi should end, but at the same time isn’t disrespectful of his father’s legacy (the lightsaber). Generally speaking, the audience should relate better with him and find him to be more likeable.
• Kylo Ren still wants to finish what Vader started. He destroys his mask because Snoke says he is “unworthy” of it, and he doesn’t know if he deserves it. He believes following his grandfather’s legacy means destroying his master and the old ways in exchange for a familial dynasty (with Rey).
• Holdo believing there is the possibility of a spy on board is what prevents her from sharing information with lower-class personnel. Poe believes this is extreme.
• Lando Calrissian is the man with the red plom bloom. He isn’t part of the fight anymore because of his daughter being a stormtrooper (although this isn’t revealed until the next novel). He sets the Canto Bight children free at the end.
• Excised unnecessary information with Rose (since she doesn’t play a large role in the next story), along with the Fathier race through the city
• Expanded upon DJ’s belief system. He believes only the corrupt can win from war.
• Ben doesn’t intentionally destroy Luke’s temple, it is hit by a Force storm (from the comics)
• Expanded upon Rey and Kylo’s feelings of inadequacy and abandonment. They both fear not being good enough, so look for validation from others.
• Snoke didn’t bridge Rey’s and Kylo’s minds. Instead, it’s identified as something that either formed or revealed itself during the interrogation scene in TFA. Snoke is aware of their connection, using it to get Rey to him, but doesn’t know what exactly it is.
• Holocam droids capture Luke’s final stand for the entire galaxy to witness on the HoloNet. This includes a new scene on Canto Bight where the gamblers consider the war to be simply a game worth betting on.
• Made the lightspeed ram more believable by explaining why it worked in this situation but not others
• Finn gets a final confrontation with Phasma that is more fulfilling. It’s based on the deleted scene where he reveals Phasma took down Starkiller’s shields. This leans into the “stormtrooper rebellion” idea.

Leave a message here or PM me if you’d like a look at it.

Even the title of the movie would make you think that the name of Skywalker is what is making people rise up.

I know hindsight is 20/20, but like, why the hell didn’t they come up with this lol.

PM sent!

The first sentence of the crawl “Flames of Rebellion burn across the galaxy” gets the point across from the get-go. Then I had Hux mention on Mustafar that they’re losing control over countless worlds and Kylo is wasting their time (I changed this since v1 because I didn’t want to repeat the crawl word for word). Then the only reason Kylo “agrees” to go along with Palpy’s games is because he knows he needs the fleet and troops to send a message to the galaxy not to mess with the FO. I had him think to himself that they’ve lost control over key systems since Crait.

Obviously then there is also the puppet show on Pasanna, which shows how much the story of Skywalker means to people. And all of Kijimi is in a similar rebellion, as evidenced by my addition of teens that graffiti a portrait of Luke from Crait (which makes even more sense now that Crait was recorded with HoloNet holocam droids in my TLJ edit).

So yeah, they’re really not doing too great.

What about it? That happens when Palpy gets wrecked. Doesn’t completely collapse of course, otherwise Rey and Ben would die.

Already in this. Minus the fiery bits landing in the throne room.

Here is specifically what I’m talking about:

Something on the floor caught Kylo’s eye. He knelt, his gloved fingers closing on a pair of golden dice linked by a short chain.

As Kylo stared at them he sensed something else - a tremor in the Force, the prelude to a familiar connection.

He stared at Rey. She stared back at him, her gaze level and unafraid. There was no hatred in her eyes, but there was no compassion, as there once had been, either.

“Come back,” he begged, pushing the image of a little girl pleading with a ship bearing her parents away. “Please.”

Evidently, Rey didn’t appreciate the memory. He heard the sound of the Falcon’s door sealing shut as the connection was severed, leaving Kylo alone in the gloom with his father’s dice resting in the palm of his upraised hand. A moment later, they too faded and vanished.

Kylo felt empty inside. But then a mysterious voice from his childhood spoke directly into his mind.

Find me on Exegol.

I feel like that would be an even more direct threat than what I’ve already got.

Basically, I decided to do away with Kylo hearing a broadcast at the end and instead he hears a “familiar voice” from his childhood speak into his mind saying “Find me on Exegol”. This is extremely ambiguous, and it wouldn’t be revealed until the next novel that Ben heard Palpy’s voice in his head as a child.

Welcome back Testing. Yes, I was just about to release a rough draft this week. I wanted to make an overall changelog first, as I definitely fell behind on making those for each chapter.

Idk what you guys are saying v5 is leagues better than v4 lol

NeverarGreat said:

All of these attempts feel almost but not quite there. I think that it has to do with how he says the word ‘end’ as if it’s the final word of the sentence. The word needs a bit more attack and depth here in the middle of the sentence.

Yup. I will say this sounds closer to me than v4, but that might just be because I don’t have headphones rn.

Damn I wish they’d just had it so that Palps wants Rey brought to him by Kylo. Would have simplified so many things.

Almost all of that is top notch work. Well done everyone. Truly amazing stuff.

My one reservation is “Captain Hux”. Still sounds a little too spliced together for my liking. I’m curious to hear how others feel about it, though.

sherlockpotter said:

You know when Merry says “We need some Holdo maneuvers,” and Finn has an ADR line about “That shot is one in a million”? Personally, I don’t hate that line; but I know that it’s been met with some criticism elsewhere. My headcanon explanation as to why the hyperspace ram was a one-off has been that you need a really big vessel to make it impactful, and the Rebellion and the Resistance are always scraping by with what they have. (I’ve seen “Why don’t they just launch hyperspace torpedos at the Death Star” as a complaint against TLJ; but I mean…would a bullet cause just as much destruction as a rocket launcher, even if they’re going at the same speed?) That would also explain why none of the tiny civilian crafts are able to do a ram on Exegol, but another ship was able to do it elsewhere.

My thought was to change Finn’s line from “That shot is one in a million” to “Our ships aren’t big enough.” Anyone have any idea where I could pull dialogue for that line though?

I like that idea. In my head canon, that’s one of the factors as to why it worked - both the Supremacy and the Resistance cruiser were big enough to make the odds of collision much more likely.

NeverarGreat said:

The implication here could be that Rey might have left it specifically for Finn before being taken by Leia rather than Leia having the other one from the outset. Either way, it’s just a fun thing for sharp eyes to notice for the two seconds it’s in frame.

Or it’s just hers and she set it down on the table while saying goodbye to him.

sidshady12 said:

sherlockpotter said:

New attempt. Lots of clean up done, but it may still need some work, of course.

https://streamable.com/t22rsz

Random fan editor here, had to look up what the original scene was but if you don’t know it’s edited it’s impossible to tell it was, after all, movies do this kind of ADR/audio manipulation in post all the time and we probably don’t even know because we don’t know where to look for spliced audio. I’d say this is good enough to work

I definitely wouldn’t go that far, sid. Try some headphones. It’s pretty close, though.

It’s getting very close imo. We’ll have to see how Hal feels though.

I wonder if it would be possible to slice off the “forty” in “forty-two” when 3PO says that the celebration only occurs every 42 years. That way it would only be every 2 years, which is slightly more believable.

Yeah, I know it’s meant to be the difference between 2019 and 1977 (release year of Star Wars), but honestly that’s a really strange easter egg considering the fact that it no longer has any meaning in 2020+.

DZ-330 said:

I think if it was included it should be when Vader first appears:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ3h20LYzBA

I would miss the Battle of Hoth version of the march during the extended Death Star battle though if it was being removed.

Ok, now this is perfect. Definitely should be included in any “special edition” of this film.

EddieDean said:

I’m in favour of the inclusion of the Imperial March. This project has often called itself ‘what the special editions should have been’. They’ve never been particularly purist; they’ve been about bringing up the originals to a lovely, more modern standard. Vader in ANH was a lesser villain, yes, but his character was more striking than Lucas anticipated on ANH’s release, so much so that the saga from that point grew around him. Whether or not Lucas/Williams paired Vader with the Imperial March on his first appearance, the two are now paired. It’s entirely appropriate that a project that seeks to polish the original trilogy pair the two in ANH retroactively.

My thoughts exactly.

Tbh, I don’t like the idea of impressions, either. I really only like the actual voices of the actors coming from separate sources.

Here’s my edit of DJ’s talk with Finn. Yet again, another concept that would have worked well with Finn but I feel it wasn’t described enough to make sense:

“Help the…you can’t…look,” DJ began, then he stopped to put his thoughts in order.

“At the end of the day, only the corrupt win from war. Good guys, bad guys, them’s made-up words to keep everyone at each other’s throats. Keeps the money spinning around. Distracts from the bigger enemy. That’s who I really enjoy stealing from…A-ha!”

DJ grinned at something he found on the console, then thumbed a key. A schematic of a TIE fighter appeared, followed by diagrams of a scout walker, TIE bomber, and a TIE interceptor.

“This guy’s an arms dealer,” DJ said. “Bought this beauty selling ships to the bad guys.”

But the next diagram that appeared was a New Republic T-70 X-wing. Then a RZ-2 A-wing interceptor popped up. Finn had a sinking feeling the list went on even further.

“And the good,” DJ said, eyes twinkling. “Canto Bight is known for selling the most weapons and ships to both sides of the war.”

Finn’s face fell, and DJ saw the confusion on his face replaced by dismay.

“Finn, let me learn you something big,” he said. “It’s all a machine, partner. And the assembly line ain’t ever gonna stop churning out more wars for people to fight. Live free. Don’t join.”

Fair points, Burbin. I too hope that the line can be configured that way to sound natural.

The only AI I’ve heard that is convincing is the Ben Solo one. The rest just aren’t there yet.

Another thing worth mentioning about the whole “sensed the death of her son” thingy is that the film is built around it. Leia’s body doesn’t vanish until Ben’s does because that’s when she’s completed her “Jedi path”. Yes, it may be stupid, but it’s just the way they made the film.