Jar Jar Bricks

Yeah I like that better DZ. Sounds pretty similar to the original actually.

Another thing I noticed: the middle paragraph is creating the insinuation that Luke’s return to the fight is something our heroes fear, which is definitely the opposite of how it should be. So how about the following instead.

In the wake of this disaster, General Leia Organa’s RESISTANCE fighters trust that the return of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will restore a spark of hope to the fight.

I like Faraday’s. My one suggestion is “Chaos reigns!” Instead of “Chaos engulfs the galaxy!” From what I recall the crawls that have an exclamatory sentence at the beginning are usually limited to a couple words, maybe three.

EDIT: Also, this could just be me, but literally every time I read the final paragraph of TLJ’s crawl I think the word “must” belongs before “mount”. For example - “As the First Order speeds toward the rebel base, the brave heroes must mount a desperate escape.”

I’m assuming that comes from behind the scenes footage? Lmao. Honestly if the moment wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously I’d say it would just be another potential joke TLJ could have made.

I seem to recall somebody making that edit. I think all he’d say is “Hmmm, very interesting” and you’d cut out the bit about never owning a droid. That way he’s neither confirming nor denying, and trying not to overwhelm Luke with information.

If someone could send me the unaltered finale episode I could try to slot the modified footage into it. Unless somebody has already done that. (In which case, I would like a link!)

I’m pretty sure somebody on the forum already implemented it into the scene itself, but it didn’t come along with the whole episode. I have it on my hard drive at home I believe but I won’t be back there until tomorrow.

Actually I’m pretty sure in that canon comic there are a bunch of his students that go after Kylo to get justice. People just originally interpreted that line as Luke suggesting that those students turned against him as well, which isn’t the case obviously.

I’m wondering if it was supposed to be in the vision because Kylo has his hood and mask on there when he jumps in front of Rey from behind a tree. Obviously he didn’t have it in the actual fight.

Like others have said, everything sounds perfect except for “He’s worth a fortune to me”. Maybe leave that one as it as it is originally? I’m not sure.

Tantive3+1 said:

Since Vader’s eyes will be tinted red for ANH:RHD, why aren’t they red throughout the whole OT?

Wait, this is a thing? Awesome. With the release of Rogue One I’d say it’s kinda important to keep things they way they are with Vader in ANH.

That plus the alternate takes for some of those Boba lines in ESB is gonna make things a lot better for his character.

Yup. I just never noticed that. I wonder if Rian requested it be changed back to normal.

I would definitely have preferred for his arm to be red in TLJ. There’s barely any time gap between the two films that it almost comes across as a continuity error.

It’s much more believable for it to go back to normal in TROS since there’s an entire year there.

I definitely agree with your idea about Leia and Anakin, tangelo. I actually had a moment very similar to that for my novelization of TROS. Maybe I should go back and make a version of the novel without any alternate canon changes, just enhancements like that.

One thing I will say about the SE ending is that it definitely feels like more of a saga finale, but with the sequels out now I think Yub Nub certainly has a place since it feels less like an overall conclusion to the story. Interested to see how this turns out, especially if it’s still planned to end with the funeral pyre and ghosts watching.

paja said:

• Rework Padme into being a stronger character.

I really like this one. I’m reminded of the concept art which shows Padme with a dagger, implying that she actually came to Mustafar to kill Anakin. Of course, if that was always her intention then idk how you could explain her not wanting Obi-Wan to tag along since he could probably do a much better job of that, but whatever.

Another idea I had for ROTS was making it so that Anakin knows the Jedi are holding the ancient secret of Force healing in the Jedi library (TROS reference). The problem? It’s in the restricted section where only Jedi Masters can go (thus why he was so insistent on becoming a Master). Yet again, this introduces a plot hole where he should naturally take that secret for himself when he raids the temple, but maybe at that point he’s given up on the Jedi way and wants to fully commit to the dark side. Who knows.

Well, the people in the crowd were just cultists really, I doubt any of them could actually use the Force. They just worshiped the dark side.

I would actually say that as soon as the 4 ghosts show up it isn’t a fair fight anymore. Palpy is kinda screwed lmao.

Since current canon has never explained where exactly that was and what was going on there, it could be retconned into a vision of a potential future. A similar thing happens with the latest version of this project, where the Rathtar sequence is repurposed in the vision for Rey losing Finn.

“Always in motion is the future.”

The thing about the vision in TFA is that it isn’t rapid fire imagery like TROS, it’s a fairly linear journey with Rey present throughout. That’s why audio additions are really the only change that worked there.

EDIT: It may have been mentioned before, but Exegol/Palp’s house could be added by retconning that rainy planet where Kylo is killing a bunch of randos with his Knights. It looks similar enough, you could just add Palp’s place in the distance instead of that temple place.

Anakin Starkiller said:

Hal 9000 said:

• Add to Rey’s Force vision several overt mentions that she is Palpatine’s granddaughter.

Won’t that spoil what’s supposed to be a twist in TRoS?

Pretty sure it’s meant to be a joke.

If you’re not using the Kylo Falcon scene, what about the etching of Ahch-To that Rey made in her hideout?

The reason you probably find the dice scene weird is because the whole film pauses for a moment that really has no meaning unless you’ve seen Solo or until you’ve seen TLJ.

Plus it makes it so that the relevance of the dice in TLJ isn’t completely out of left field.

Octorox said:

Hal 9000 said:

I’ll reconsider my list of changes, but I really do wish to remain distinct from Starlight and avoid bending too much in its direction, even to include stuff I like. It’s there to be viewed in its own right, after all. One thing that may not be obvious unless you’re thinking about going about editing is that Starlight is sort of a gordian knot and some things about it I like only work alongside more extensive changes.

I don’t plan to use the dice scene or Falcon deleted scene, as much as I enjoy them, for instance. Not wanting a huge revamp, just that there’s a few things Starlight presents that enhance TFA:R’s existing goals.

Sounds like I may have to make my own edit that splits the difference between TFA:R and Starlight then 😛

Yes please!

sherlockpotter said:

• Story issue: I think Hal’s opening crawl actually works a lot better unfortunately, for two main reasons: A) The second paragraph of Starlight’s is a run-on sentence, which makes it difficult to read (especially in the brief time before it “crawls” away), and B) The third paragraph, outlining that the Republic created the Resistance - that doesn’t mesh with the later scene of Leia complaining that the Republic isn’t taking the threat of the First Order seriously. I’m pretty sure Hal’s crawl clarifies that the Republic wasn’t doing anything, which is why Leia herself had to form the Resistance.

I agree with a lot of what Sherlock and others have said on here, and especially this. One of the common criticisms of the sequel trilogy is that there is no reason for the Resistance to even be called the Resistance. I liked how Hal’s edit corrects this issue. Since the New Republic wasn’t doing anything about the First Order because they didn’t want another war, there are people like Leia that are “resisting” against the Republic’s consensus. The name takes on another meaning once the First Order becomes the main power in the galaxy in TLJ, but up until then it’s important to make this distinction.

Also, when Hux says that the New Republic secretly supports the Resistance, it can be rationalized that he’s referring to the senators and people that are going against the Republic’s decision.