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Jar Jar Bricks

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Join date
15-Jun-2019
Last activity
2-Jul-2025
Posts
2,933

Post History

Post
#1481058
Topic
The Last Jedi: Legendary (Released)
Time

I don’t think Hal has any plans to add it lol

The only reason I’m interested in doing so is that in the original movie Luke’s criticisms of the Jedi are way too shallow. “This one specific Jedi trained and created Darth Vader”. Sure, whatever. I find it much more interesting to look at the idea of inaction vs. becoming too involved (the Clone Wars). And basically the idea that the right way to do things might be somewhere in the middle, and without the Jedi themselves involved.

I agree that the bathos in the scene is quite jarring in a film already full of it, but it’s something I may be willing to overlook.

Post
#1481053
Topic
The Last Jedi: Legendary (Released)
Time

I’m actually trying to edit the two deleted caretaker scenes into this edit, Muffy. An additional benefit is that Luke’s changed line is reverted back to v4. Just trying to make the audio pops go away currently.

EDIT: Also, I realize Snoke’s line about destroying the whole island is missing in this edit with the idea of the caretakers not existing, but honestly I think that scene works better without that particular line to begin with. It just feels kinda clunky.

Post
#1480960
Topic
The Last Jedi: Legendary (Released)
Time

Burbin said:

I’m really not a fan of the change to Luke’s line but oh well, let the past die, slaughter it if you have to.

Kinda have to agree. I can still hear the w sound after “He’d vanished” so it sounds kinda wonky.

Plus, I kinda liked what the comics did to explain this. From Luke’s devastated perspective he might think those students joined up with him, but in reality they were just trying to avenge Luke.

Ah well, it’s fine.

Post
#1480875
Topic
The Last Jedi: Legendary (Released)
Time

Hey Hal, thanks for bolding Luke Skywalker in the crawl! Didn’t know you actually went through with that idea because of the “Jedi Master” title coming before it.

It’s worth mentioning that the leaked Duel of the Fates crawl actually did a similar thing, with only “KYLO REN” being bolded in “Supreme Leader KYLO REN”. So it definitely has precedence, even though that isn’t really a canon source.

Post
#1478464
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE)
Time

I’m thinking about making an alternative version of this project which cuts back on some of the more fan-fictionish elements of the story. One example of this is the Poe/Finn bromance, which I unfortunately feel doesn’t have enough set up based on the previous novelizations. I’ll also include some other QOL changes, such as the following updated crawl:

Flames of rebellion burn across the galaxy. The tyrannical First Order has retaliated by silencing any planetary system that supports their enemy.

As Rey, sole heir to the Jedi, continues her training, General Leia Organa sends her brave agents across the stars to unite the disparate worlds in the name of Resistance.

Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren travels to Mustafar, chasing whispers of a HIDDEN POWER that stands to usurp his vulnerable regime. . . .

Post
#1471658
Topic
The Last Jedi: Legendary (Released)
Time

Another thing I noticed: the middle paragraph is creating the insinuation that Luke’s return to the fight is something our heroes fear, which is definitely the opposite of how it should be. So how about the following instead.

In the wake of this disaster, General Leia Organa’s RESISTANCE fighters trust that the return of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will restore a spark of hope to the fight.

Post
#1471643
Topic
The Last Jedi: Legendary (Released)
Time

I like Faraday’s. My one suggestion is “Chaos reigns!” Instead of “Chaos engulfs the galaxy!” From what I recall the crawls that have an exclamatory sentence at the beginning are usually limited to a couple words, maybe three.

EDIT: Also, this could just be me, but literally every time I read the final paragraph of TLJ’s crawl I think the word “must” belongs before “mount”. For example - “As the First Order speeds toward the rebel base, the brave heroes must mount a desperate escape.”