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Jar Jar Bricks

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15-Jun-2019
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22-Apr-2021
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Post
#1425444
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Here’s the official/canon explanation for his behavior from the novelization (although I know most here don’t care for that):

Poe stepped into the hold from the cockpit. His face was haggard, but he seemed as determined as ever. He’d been so serious lately, often on the verge of anger ever since Crait. He felt responsible for the decimation of Resistance, Rey knew. She understood what that was like, and braced herself. She wasn’t going to blame him one bit for laying into her; she was just going to take it.

So the impression I’m getting is that he was angry at himself and taking it out on others - and droids were prime targets.

Post
#1425416
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (WIP)
Time

Chapter 10 Changelog (was a big one):

  • Plenty of streamlining (removing unneeded details), and making things more clear
  • C-3PO cycles through his memory banks before he says that he’s saying goodbye to his friends. This is what prompts Poe to ask what he’s doing. It achieves the effect that he is also looking at Luke, Leia, and Han before he dies.
  • Finn eyes Zorii and Poe exiting the workshop longingly
  • Removed all romantic inclinations between Poe and Zorii. They are just old friends.
  • Overhauled Poe being a Debby Downer about nobody helping the Resistance:
  1. Zorii points out that Kijimi City is in a state of active rebellion, as are many other worlds. It isn’t just about the First Order instilling fear.
  2. Poe witnesses a group of teenagers doing graffiti art of a man holding a glowing sword when she tells him this.
  3. Poe admits that people are rebelling, but insists that everyone is out for themselves since nobody came to help them on Crait.
  • As a result of the aforementioned change, I have removed a second reference to the retcon that the First Order was blocking their call to the galaxy
  • Rey tells Finn that Ochi’s ship was used by her parents, not that they simply left in it (which implies that Ochi didn’t notice the screaming girl behind him).
  • 3PO’s message refers to the Sanctuary Moon of Endor. Finn refers to it as where the second Death Star exploded, not where the last war ended.
  • Chewie is not revealed to still be alive until Rey senses it. As a result, moved Kylo’s interrogation scene to directly after this.
  • To see changes to the interrogation scene, see the bottom of the last page
  • Moved Zorii’s scene from the next chapter to the end of this one
    Link:
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/15Tg1J8GT7T42bciRhcsFWJYUxdIpSN_w/view?usp=sharing
Post
#1425405
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (WIP)
Time

Alright, I put the following directly after the Knights of Ren scene I wrote from the previous chapter. I forgot about this scene, so when I saw it I knew it had to go back in, but it didn’t fit in the next chapter. I made a few modifications to it, namely to preserve the Chewie reveal, but I also threw in a reference to Vader dialog. If it’s too overt I’ll remove it:

General Armitage Hux and a handful of other executive officers strode down a hallway of the Steadfast. They approached their Supreme Leader with some good news. Hux had been intending on delivering it first, but he was beat to it.

“Sir,” Allegient General Pryde said. “The Knights of Ren have tracked down the scavenger.”

“To the capital of Kijimi,” Admiral Griss added quickly.

“They’re searching there now,” Pryde said.

Hux needed to insert himself before his peers had delivered all the good news. He asked, “Shall we destroy the city, Supreme-”

Ren stuck a long finger in Hux’s face, using the Force to freeze his vocal chords in place.

“Set a course for Kijimi,” he commanded everyone. “I want no capital disintegrations.”

His words dismissed them all, and Kylo Ren hurried off alone. Hux stood with his hands clasped behind his back and watched him go, wondering how he always managed to say the wrong thing.

Post
#1425362
Topic
Star Wars: <strong>The Rise Of Skywalker</strong> Redux Ideas thread
Time

I totally get that, Creation. I also see TROS in that way at times.

But at the same time, after going through the novelization I came to realize how agonizingly close TROS was to being a good finale not only for the sequels but also for the saga as a whole. I guess in order to avoid that frustration for the actual movie I’ll just have to consider it exactly as you said: a goofy adventure.

Post
#1425348
Topic
Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge
Time

CaptainFaraday said:

ROTS is such a flexible movie to fanedit, because it’s such a sprawling epic with so many different ideas jumbled in there. It’s perfectly competent in its theatrical cut, but there’s so much content in it that everyone can tailor it to their own interpretation of its themes and ideas. So I agree it’s got kind of a “holy grail” status to find the exact right one for each of us. What’s your preferred edit of it, out of interest?

I used the wrong analogy, my bad. I meant to say that I feel like it shouldn’t be modified or changed beyond reinserting deleted scenes. Even the goofier parts of the movie have such meme potential that it feels wrong to remove them. I’m sure other people disagree with that, but I’d be willing to bet they didn’t grow up with the movie 😉

Post
#1425273
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The &quot;Tragedy of Vader&quot; Edit (WIP)
Time

So it looks like the only Chewbacca scene in First Order captivity I’ll be able to include is the interrogation one. I’m pushing the reveal that he is still alive until Rey senses it. Here is how the scene is looking thus far. Besides some slight changes, the only thing I wrote myself was the final memory. It comes straight out of a comic:

Before Kylo Ren went down the Kijimi’s surface to find the girl, he had some unfinished business to attend to. He stopped before the door of Interrogation Six, rallying his thoughts. He had all the power now, he reminded himself. The Wookie was his past. He meant nothing to him.

Kylo opened the door. Chewbacca was shackled to the wall. He stepped inside and removed the mask from his head. The Wookie met his eyes, undaunted.

“I have not forgotten that you shot me,” Kylo said.

That wound had resulted in a defeat at Rey’s hands. Had he been in top fighting form, the scavenger never would have gotten the best of him. It had nothing to do with being unbalanced like Snoke had said, he assured himself.

With a wave of Kylo’s hand, Chewbacca’s shackles opened and clanked to the floor. He removed the lightsaber from his belt. Dropped it to the ground.

“Kill me,” Kylo taunted. “I am defenseless. Now’s your chance. Have your revenge for Han Solo.”

Chewbacca had never been stupid, and so he made no move. But he growled, dark and low.

“Feel that?” Kylo continued. “It makes you feel alive, doesn’t it? That burning. The dark side. It makes you powerful. You understand that. The scavenger will understand it, too.”

He sensed a stab of fear from the Wookie, on Rey’s behalf. Kylo smiled, for he’d just been given his way in. Chewbacca loved the girl. In time, he would love her as much as he’d loved Han Solo. The way he’d never really loved Ben.

Kylo’s voice crackled with rage. “What was her mission? Where is she going? Give me the answer… or I’ll take it myself.”

It should have been satisfying to watch Chewbacca wince in fear. Kylo should have felt pleasure in reaching out with the Force, inserting himself into the Wookie’s mind, searching through his memories and thoughts.

Instead, it was exhausting. He saw flashes of the Wookie laughing with a much younger Han Solo than he himself remembered. Felt Chewbacca’s joy when his best friend married the woman he’d come to love like a sister. Saw the Wookie cuddling a human toddler, teaching an older boy to fly a speeder, target practice with a young man, their blasters set on stun against a haphazard dummy made of rocks.

Uncle Chewie, he’d called him back then.

The next memory he saw exhausted him the most. Chewbacca was aiming his bowcaster at a man dressed in black, standing alone on a thin bridge over an endless abyss. His sights were directly over the man’s head. He could feel the Wookie’s overwhelming desire for vengeance. But then the memories of the boy flashed before him again in an instant. Chewbacca instead lowered his bowcaster to the man’s abdomen and fired.

Nausea rolled around in the pit of Kylo’s stomach when he finally walked away from Interrogation Six. He’d gotten what he wanted. Surely the sense of triumph would soon follow?

Post
#1425269
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The &quot;Tragedy of Vader&quot; Edit (WIP)
Time

Oh, right, you didn’t hear. I’m making them bad people. They really did sell her because her father had PTSD over the Force after suffering a bunch of experiments on Exegol. So when she started demonstrating Force powers, he was terrified, and convinced his wife to sell her. They were also drunks.

The reason I’m giving for why they don’t give up her location is that Ochi tells her father that he will never be able to leave Exegol again. So rather than return to his personal hell, he’d rather just die as well as spite Palpatine.

I may dedicate a whole portion of a chapter to their backstory. Who knows.

Post
#1425218
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The &quot;Tragedy of Vader&quot; Edit (WIP)
Time

TestingOutTheTest said:

Yeah I think I’ll probably stick with the whole “Rey is Palpatine’s daughter” thingy.

Would you rather do that, or reinforce Rey and Palpatine’s respective motivations as described above?

Well, like I said, from my perspective the revelation that she is even more closely related to him should be more shocking for Rey. I suppose it depends on how you look at it though. Is a clone of Palpatine truly Palpatine? Ultimately I believe it comes down to biology in the case of this story.

Honestly, to me it seems the way it originally is in the novel is a dumb callback to Boba being the son of Jango even though he was technically only a clone. I don’t believe Palpatine would claim a non-Force-sensitive clone as his son, personally, so I wanted to lean more heavily into him being a clone over a son.

Post
#1425215
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The &quot;Tragedy of Vader&quot; Edit (WIP)
Time

Yeah I think I’ll probably stick with the whole “Rey is Palpatine’s daughter” thingy (in biological terms).

But what makes you say that about Unkar? They were leaving the planet and didn’t want to take her with them. Then Ochi tracks them down, reclaims his ship, tells Rey’s dad he is never leaving Exegol again, and then demands to know where Rey is. I’d remove Rey’s mother mentioning Jakku. Therefore, as far as Ochi knows, they were never on Jakku.

Post
#1425209
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The &quot;Tragedy of Vader&quot; Edit (WIP)
Time

I like that thought process Testing. I do believe the reason Rey’s father is never mentioned as being a clone in the original movie is because of what you said: “a familial, hereditary connection between the two solidifies her belief[s]”. While my original plan was to make the clone side of things even more apparent, what you said here has definitely made me consider going in the exact opposite direction. The biggest question from such an idea is this: who is Rey’s grandmother? Just a random Sith acolyte woman?

Furthermore, when I said my original plan was to lean into the whole clone side of things, consider this. I was going to alter Kylo’s dialog to be the following: “You’re his daughter. My mother was the daughter of Vader. Your father was a clone of the Emperor.” Therefore, technically speaking, doesn’t that make her even MORE like Palpatine? As in, would you rather be Hitler’s grandchild or his child?

Post
#1425067
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The &quot;Tragedy of Vader&quot; Edit (WIP)
Time

Chapter 9 Changelog:

  • Another description of Ochi’s ship to match the idea that junkers lived in it
  • Just noticed that Rey claims in both the movie and this novel that she saw both Kylo AND her on the Sith throne in her vision. This is wrong, and has been fixed.
  • Removed the reference to the ticking clock
  • Made it clear that D-O belonged to Ochi (necessary for the new background story of his ship)
  • Removed all Chewbacca scenes (I may put one of these after Rey’s discovery, we’ll see)
  • Tightened conversation with Zorii
  • Zorii says Poe left the crew to rejoin the cause instead of join it. This is necessary because he literally grew up in a Rebellion family.
  • Added a brief custom scene with the Knights of Ren on Kijimi at the end. This is necessary because otherwise they come out of nowhere later on.
    Link:
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HVHAsnDZbBJONFo4_KvxnZ41n8CofC-X/view?usp=sharing
    Here is the custom scene. Don’t think it’s 100% perfect yet:

Ushar led his fellow Knights of Ren down a frigid alleyway on Kijimi. Tracking the Resistance scum down had been easy; Ap’lek had wisely secured a homing beacon to their escape vessel during the chaos of the girl exploding a transport. The Night Buzzard would have easily lost them in those icy planetary rings if it weren’t for the beacon. Now the real trouble was scouring this wretched city for wherever they had traveled to.

Ushar had never witnessed such a grand spectacle of darkness until that moment in the desert, even from Kylo. If the girl were to ever usurp Kylo’s position, he was sure the rest of the Knights would accept her as their master without hesitation. But for now, they were to follow the instructions Kylo had given them to the letter.

“Kylo Ren wants the girl alive,” he reminded everyone. “Kill the rest.”

Post
#1425063
Topic
Star Wars: <strong>The Rise Of Skywalker</strong> Redux Ideas thread
Time

Well, seeing as how I’m mostly talking from the perspective of a novelization, nothing is really out of the question. In that case, it wouldn’t necessarily have to be spoken aloud by a character. Perhaps instead I could write something like (rough):

Twin suns rose on the horizon. The two halves of the dyad embraced each other under the light of dawn. At the homestead of one of the greatest Jedi, a new order was rising. The order of Skywalker.

Thing is, something like that would just make me want the title of the story to be “A New Order” (referring to both Palpatine’s Final Order as well as this new Skywalker order).

Post
#1425050
Topic
Star Wars: <strong>The Rise Of Skywalker</strong> Redux Ideas thread
Time

TestingOutTheTest said:

CamSMurph said:

How would I re-edit TRoS? Well, for starters, I’d throw out the concept of force healing since it pretty much came out of nowhere. Then, I’d have Palpatine kill Kylo by throwing him into the pit. Lastly, I’d have Rey proclaim, “Just Rey,” at the end of the film, and her arc would come full circle.

Firstly, Rey has the Jedi texts, so of course she’d get something from that.

Secondly, killing off Ben at that point misses the point; having Ben heal Rey makes sense from a thematic perspective, he’s fulfilling what Vader started.

I agree with both of your points here. Although, if somebody else doesn’t like these ideas then I don’t see the harm in them removing it for their own edits.

Lastly, “just Rey” also misses the point; “Rey Skywalker” is there to show how the Skywalkers’ legacy will live on after the actual bloodline becomes extinct, which is the point of the entire trilogy.

This is why I’m kinda torn. If Ben Solo showed up on Tatooine, I’d imagine Rey would become Rey Solo instead of Rey Skywalker in that scene. But that kinda goes against the title of the movie and the purpose of the trilogy. I’d be interested in hearing other opinions on how to solve this problem. Maybe replace the Jedi organization with an organization called “Skywalkers”? Not sure.

Post
#1425005
Topic
Star Wars: <strong>The Rise Of Skywalker</strong> Redux Ideas thread
Time

thebluefrog said:

Kylo dying was trite and cliche and also completely predictable given that it was Disney. But having him alive, alone, living forever with his crimes…that’s more interesting a fate.

I personally believe it wouldn’t be necessary for him to be completely alone. I see him trying to start the Jedi again with Rey at his side, but obviously the galaxy wouldn’t see those Jedi as good people as a result (especially if it somehow leaked that Rey is Palpatine’s granddaughter). I see that story as pretty interesting, where the Jedi have to prove themselves to be good.