I’m okay with the crawl not specifying the FO’s specific goals with Skywalker.
I think V2 is shaping up nicely. Pretty much the only thing left implement is the First Order’s arrival at Maz’s castle. Once you all (Sir Ridley, NeverarGreat) have it how we like it, I’ll drop it in and we should be in good shape. 😃
Movie opens with a traditional crawl against a starfield.
Pan down to reveal the island at night, with the starfield being the night sky. It’s the very early morning prior to Rey’s arrival, where we are introduced briefly to Luke and see the last scene from a different perspective.
Thanks, Jack.
Well, part of what I’m going for in this crawl is a close relationship with the theatrical crawl. While it seems you’re right that the first two paragraphs of all three OT crawls are in past tense, there is no uniformity to the final paragraph: ANH’s final paragraph is in present tense, ESB’s is in past tense, and ROTJ’s is in future tense.
If you factor the prequels in, there is no rhyme or reason to when to break from past tense.
Considering that it’s like this in the theatrical, which is what I’m trying to stick to (in a weird way), I’m happy with it.
Here’s another revision of the crawl that I rather like. This one will probably be what I go with.
Episode VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS
Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen in secret from the ashes of the fallen Empire.
Failing to convince the New Republic to combat this emerging threat, General Leia Organa mobilizes a covert RESISTANCE to gather allies from the farthest reaches of the galaxy.
Desperate for her brother’s help, Leia has sent her most trusted pilot on a daring mission to Jakku, where a clue has been discovered to Luke’s whereabouts…
Welcome, Batmatt92, and thanks for the insightful suggestion. I can’t help but agree with you, with the real question being whether removing those shots of the planet surface will leave the sequence an abrupt mess. I’ll test it out and see, but I frankly doubt it’ll be as good as it needs to be, given that we’re editing a fully baked final product rather than doing it this way from the beginning.
And, as much as I love the little moment with Leia in the deleted scene, I doubt I’ll use it. The scene, as presented on the BluRay, begins and ends extremely abruptly, with not even a split second of buffer. Given the one place in the movie it would need to go, I don’t think it would be seamless. It’s a shame these deleted scenes weren’t presented to us the way the prequels’ were on DVD: as spruced up finished sequences, for the most part, presented in the same quality as the main features themselves.
Thanks for the feedback!
I can’t put my finger on why, but I feel better about “in secret” than "secretly risen from."
As far as “combat” goes, what I want to say is something to the effect of “The New Republic has refused to take action against the FO even though Leia presses them to.” “Combat” is the best word I could think to throw in there.
The first paragraph is shorter now, having removed talk about destroying Skywalker, so adding ‘fractured’ evens it out somewhat. It also implies that the Empire never fully dissolved, but regrouped in secret to emerge again, rather than the FO being a group of imitators. It’s extremely subtle, but I like it. During my first viewing, I was puzzling over the plot point about Finn being taken from birth if the FO is a new thing. This… might help ever so slightly to the hypothetical first time viewer on opening day that doesn’t exist but is nevertheless the intended viewer of fan edits?
And, yeah, I changed the ending of the crawl to match the theatrical, even the placement of the last line (just as the first line is matched) so it won’t read, “…a clue has been discovered to the whereabouts of the next movie…”
Drakul, thanks and welcome! No, I won’t be editing Rogue One. I sincerely hope not to edit any more Star Wars films after this one, but we’ll see. This limited edit of TFA is sort of a compromise between editing and not editing it, and ideally will be a stairstep from radical edits of the prior three films to enjoying new films as they are. (The original idea for the SKB was too elegant and sublime to pass up.)
Here’s the new crawl. I am working on getting rid of the slight red flicker at the beginning. Very strange, and I don’t know what’s causing it!
https://vimeo.com/200772174
password: crawl
Maybe there aren’t going to be any new Jedi or Sith, with the force being balance through discarding both sides of the old coin.
Probably not, but anything’s possible at this point.
“The Last Knight” I think is interesting. Seems to obviously refer to Luke, but what about Rey? Hinting at a possible Luke death. Or one of the Knights of Ren, or some other new character.
“The Last Knight” was a really close guess. I would have liked that better, and it would have set the ST up to be the “morning trilogy.” Haha
Well, it’ll be the third film with “The” as the first word. It’s another three word title, breaking any hope of there being a pattern in the naming conventions going forward, ala ‘The First Order Strikes Back.’ I’m 100% okay with this, given the path I took in naming my prequel fan edits.
It will also be the first time that a film’s title is featured inside another (or any) film’s crawl. TFA’s crawl contained the phrase “the last Jedi.”
Eh, I’m okay with what remains. A ‘small victory’ vibe reads well after the newly contrived downer vibe of escaping SKB.
That being said, I’d be foolish not to entertain mock ups!
Here’s a test clip of the SKB explosion without Poe or any “chipper” X-Wing pilots. I’ve added in a sound effect for the Falcon, since the music had to be faded over prior to that point. Unfortunately, I could not find an identical woosh sound for the X-Wings going by, and so I brought the audio level for the second shot’s wooshes down to approximately match. Altogether, it’s a slightly less punchy Falcon sound and less pronounced foley for the X-Wings compared to the original. At least, at this point.
If anyone is able to play this back and appraise it on a 5.1 surround system, I’d value that. I tried to closely mimic the pan from front to back as heard in each track in the original.
https://vimeo.com/200586466
Password: fanedit
And, Mala, thanks for the offer about the subtitles. That will come in very handy when the time comes.
And, Sougouk, WELCOME to our hive of insanity! We’ve got jackets. Or, at least, I remember ordering one 12 years ago and never getting it. Who was that guy, again? I just remembered that… FFS.
About the changing time of day on Takodana… could it be late morning when they arrive? Did they spend the whole daytime with Maz, perhaps?
Surely the best solution would be to replace each Gungan with a 3PO protocol droid, including the army scenes.
I felt this way somewhat about TFA. It’s good, but… sort of paint by numbers. I’m hoping VIII plunges us back into the mythic realm of Star Wars at its best.
Wife had a question that I couldn’t answer. In ANH when Vader kills Ben, he stamps on Ben’s robes…but what happened to Ben’s lightsaber?
Prequalism answers are probably unsatisfactory, but it’s the best I got.
No life = no weapon
ALLOL, now THAT is some great head canon.
You can be ! Thanks again for your hard work. So I guess you haven’t changed I-COD opening text crawl finally as you were thinking about ?
I did change the crawl a little. Final version reads:
Episode I
CLOAK OF DECEPTION
Mired by greed and corruption, the Republic is in decay. After centuries of peace under the guardianship of the Jedi order, a menace lurks in the shadows of the galaxy.
Attempting to capitalize on the government’s complacency, the nefarious TRADE FEDERATION has surrounded the small planet of Naboo with a blockade of deadly warships.
With the newly crowned Queen desperate for help, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights to settle the conflict. . . .
I was glad to find a way to have something about the Republic being in decay AND a ‘menace’ lurking. The “two Jedi Knights” part of the final paragraph never bothered me. It’s not technically correct, but it gets the point across. Specifying “a Jedi Master and his Padawan learner” or something similar would be too wordy, especially if this is Episode 1 and I’ve already thrown “Jedi order,” “Republic,” “Trade Federation,” and “Supreme Chancellor” at you.
Thanks for this gift, Hal 9000. Your edits have renewed my interest in PT.
I would like to thank you for the kind words, and apologize for my work’s effect on you. 😛
I’m uploading Version 4.2 to the usual places this afternoon. This revision addresses primarily just the opening crawls. The receding STAR WARS logo no longer aliases badly, and the crawls have been spruced up as far as their look and their content.
Is this a very minor update? Yes. However, it will be the last. This project is baked and mastered in 1080p, with several scenes and components that are limited to 480p. Even if better quality version of the prequels are unveiled down the road, the current quality level would still be preferable for this project, due to the standard definition material used. As I recall my mindset and ambition three and a half years ago beginning on this project, I am extremely happy with the final product, and so I am setting it down for good.
Version 4.2, which I’m uploading now, is the FINAL release of this prequel fan edit project. I’m promising you all as well as myself! Thanks again to everyone who contributed, which is a very large group of fine people. Since FanEdit.info often takes a while to update its listings, those who want access to the DLC files may PM me, and I will provide links once they are uploaded.
I’ve been thinking about the rathtara. Not sure at this point.
Flawless, seamless. I’ll definitely be doing this for V2.
Could you post a clip? I’d be interested to see how it does with the music, before I get all my tools laid out again.
I would also be open to a sunset regrade, if it looks good enough.
About the Maz’s castle attack scene, here are the changes needed (as I see it now):
• Lone Star Destroyer
• Alternate music and sound
• “They’ve found us”Optional:
• Remove sunset TIE shot
• Regrade outdoor scenes to evening/sunset
• Change Maz’s line “Those beasts! They’re here.”
• Put back cool X-wing shots from trailers in the battleI tried the Kylo shuttle idea, it looks fine but doesn’t really work after all, so I’m on board with only the Star Destroyer. I’ll revise my edits and see what we get.
Well said. This is where we are at in the process.
I’d be open to presenting the story thus far for a newcomer as:
Rogue One, 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6, 7
Now that we only have the Stardestroyer in the scene I think that my proposed music (heard in Sir Ridley’s mock-ups) is no longer a good choice for the scene. Instead we need something more menacing but not an action theme. Any ideas?
Also, I’ve thought about improving the Republic-Resistance-relationship. Maybe that’s outside of what this edit aims to do, but I think that the restructure allows to do this much better than the theatralic cut. So here’s what I think could be done:
First of all, the crawl could be written a little better in this regard to show that the Republic is not supporting the Resistance but instead hesitates to do anything.
Then in the briefing scene have someone ask: “Will the Republic send help?” and someone else (ideally Leia) would answer: “No.” Then 3PO would have his “Without the Republic fleet we’re doomed.” line and the briefing would go on.
And a little later, probably before the Falcon arrives at Starkiller Base we’d insert the Leia and the Resistance deleted scene where Leia sends Korr Sella to try and persuade the Republic once more. The one problem here would be that Korr would have to teleport to Hosnian Prime in order to be there for its destruction^^ So maybe that scene has to be placed earlier, but I don’t know where.
I’d be in favor of this. This project is a restructuring of the SKB plot, and so there’s no need to apologize for proposing suggestions related to it.
I’ve posted before about a née crawl, very similar to the original one, that includes a few political descriptors. The First Order rising “in secret,” and Leia “failing to convince the New Republic of this looming threat…”
