Hal 9000

Oh, thank you for posting the clip of the droid factory scene; that’s very helpful.

I think that would help sell this as a polished finished product, only because without it there is something missing that you would expect a film to have to address the apparent meekness with which Anakin walks into death. I think the scene is unnecessary, save for the sheer fact that I don’t have any usable footage which could serve in that capacity.

I am redownloading L8wrtr’s edit, because if I remember correctly he has the droids remain on the ship and Anakin save Padme by using the force. (He uses a shot originally depicting Anakin pulling something off racks to knock two Geonosians off a platform or something.) I don’t remember how well it worked, but I hope to take a look soon.
I appreciate the honesty; while I believe Lucas could have made it work just fine to have the Dooku scene rather than the action setpiece, being able to cobble something totally convincing through fan editing is not a guarantee. Let me see what L8wrtr came up with, and field it. I would, however, be willing to go against having it be completely convincing if it means keeping the nonsense with the droids away.

Peter Pan said:

Why not keep the whole garage scene, with the exception of Anakin saying that he killed the women and children?
This way you set up the plot for ROTS, keep Anakins conflict and regret about the slaughter and Padme doesn’t appear to be a hypocrite, because there is obviously a big difference between killing innocent children and the murderer of your mother.

He kills children in both instances. Neither are more or less innocent than the other, and Padme does not care in AOTC. There’s no way I’m reinstating that scene.

About the droid factory scene… I really am of two minds. I will have to mock it up and see how it plays and make an honest call about it.

[*Moe+said:]

I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and…I like to kiss my own butt.

The reaction shot of Padme I am picturing may not follow immediately after that line from Anakin, but I seem to picture her with a shocked look on her face, saying “Anakin,” the way I would say someone’s name after they just blurted out something terribly racist in front of a crowd.

I tried. Certain scenes may isolate dialogue to the extent to which this would be possible, but they are few and far between. If there’s any reverb, it sounds very unnatural. And if there is any music or other sounds in the center channel, same story. It might work for an isolate line or two, but it’s far beyond my skills to do this for the whole film.

His comment about stopping people from dying seems incredibly childish and delusional. Padme ought to have politely comforted him until the end of their mission and never spoken to him again.

I didn’t go with that version of that line because the action climax has many other lines in her deep voice, so making that one change would seem weird.
I’d love to have the whole movie in her higher pitched voice but it seems virtually impossible to adjust pitch of just her voice and not the rest of the soundtrack.

Absolutely. The ‘chosen one’ angle plays into Rey and Kylo Ren, just not in a technical, overt way.

So, Anakin throws an absolute fit about his mother dying and that’s it?

I won’t be doing that. I’m somewhat restricted at the moment but I’ve written about it elsewhere. In short: it doesn’t compute that such a thing would endear Anakin to Padme, and it is against her character. In Ep3, she again learns he slaughtered children and suddenly she is horrified. Well, she didn’t care at all in the last movie!
The scene is awful through and through IMHO. Anakin is on display as an unambiguous, violent lunatic.
“I WILL EVEN LEARN TO STOP PEOPLE FROM DYING”

What I’m thinking right now is that I will revert the bounty hunter’s dying words to the original and reinstate an abbreviated Dex’s Diner scene, but otherwise leave that section of the film structured as it has been in TAS. This solves a minor curiosity about How Obi-Wan knows where the planet is, and adds a little of the original film’s whimsy without going quite as far over the top. I still see virtue in using the landing platform deleted scene due to the tidbit about a Jedi potentially deleting the system from the archives. (The Yoda scene makes Obi-Wan look stupid, and the kids are unbearable.)

I am also planning not to reinstate the droid factory action sequence, but will consider whether to structure those scenes the was TAS has been, or reorder them.

TAS: Dooku interrogates Obi-Wan > Anakin and Padme land on Geonosis, enter the door > Dooku interrogates Padme > Palpatine granted emergency powers > Anakin and Padme prepped for execution.

Potential: Dooku interrogates Obi-Wan > Palpatine granted emergency powers > Anakin and Padme land on Geonosis, enter the door > > Dooku interrogates Padme > Anakin and Padme prepped for execution.

Even just TFA and TLJ seem to spiritually capitalize on it with Rey. It sounds like it’s a less iffy proposition to just put it back in.

Hard to disagree too much with that. Let me sit on this for a bit, but I do like it and it makes good sense.

I’m leaving away from the droid factory action sequence, partly because I’m hoping to cull a line from it for 3PO to replace his line as they leave Tatooine. And, reviewing Q2’s edit, he manages to include the deleted scene sans action sequence and keeping the Senate scene following Dooku’s conversation with Obi-Wan. Sure, Anakin seems meek, but I’m sure as part of the diplomacy angle he agreed to he needed to surrender his weapon. Then the bad guys screw them over.

Let me open up the ‘you were the chosen one’ speech to the collective; what do you all think?
I originally removed it because I removed the prophecy aspect entirely, and left it out because I came to like it feeling more personal than philosophical. It’s not bad stuff.

I like Mala’s musical solution just fine, so I don’t want to overthink that one.

And I feel that’s working too hard to shoehorn the apartment scene in, so I’m fine leaving it out.

I included the full beginning of the Jedi Council scene, that’s right.
The scene plays very well. The balcony scene originally lead into Yoda’s counseling, and the following scene in which Anakin is late for a meeting, Obi-Wan is appropriately primed to be suspicious of Palpatine. I think the pacing sticks closer to the original film, much better than prior versions of LOE.

I noticed that it might be good to replace 3PO’s line, “I think I’m beginning to get the hang of this flying business” with something similarly spicy. It’s a callback to lines that will have been replaced in Episodes I and II: “I can assure you they will never get me onto one of those dreadful starships,” and “It’s just that I’ve never flown before.”
It’s not mandatory, but if there’s anything that seems appropriate to place there, it’d be nice to.

I like the musical version a great deal, too, and it’s hard to part with it. I could include it as a bonus, on a different video file from the edit itself. (I altered the sync of the race, having conformed it carefully to match the musical score to begin with.)

I’m making another slight change, prompted by meticulously syncing the ‘Backstroke of the West’ subtitles to LOE V6 from scratch (in the name of greater authenticity and since it was already going to take a lot of work to start from V5 anyway).
I’m putting back in some dialogue I had cut from the scene where Anakin follows up with Palpatine via hologram about having killed the Separatist leaders. Palpatine blows some smoke up his ass about having done a great service to the Empire. This seems to have a more appropriate home in LOE than ROTS.

Thank you for sharing that. I’d welcome any constructive feedback you may have, also.

Wow, if you’re right about that I find it surprising. That would qualify as a “Luke swinging twice” or Berenstein thing for me. If I had a VCR around here I’d check myself.

nl0428, I see what you mean about that order of the sequences; the music does seem to more naturally build up to the dramatic rendition of Duel of the Fates as the trio fight. However, for my part, the cut from Anakin flying up into the clouds to the duel continuing is burned into my brain and it doesn’t feel quite right to cut to Padme and company without a blast of music. I think I will leave it as is for my version, but kudos for finding an interesting change to make.

Here’s a good example of what I meant:

Imagine the original teaser trailer for the original Star Wars. Imagine the narrator saying, “Aliens from a thousand worlds!”

Now imagine him saying, “Aliens from several thousand worlds!”

Yeah, the line about creating life is back, along with one about cheating death as Vader is pronounced. I figure if Palpatine plays into TROS, even if only briefly, it’ll be thematically relevant.

I don’t really care for the way the line has to sound in Ep1 of “It’s possible he was conceived by the [Force].” It doesn’t seem seamless to my ears, though I bet L8wrtr did as well as anyone could with the idea. He has no father, and that’s all that’s important. I do not believe Palpatine ‘fathered’ Anakin; The Force did, even if partially in response to the shenanigans the Sith were cooking up. See Darth Plagueia in your local bookstore.

I think the first seeds of rebellion scene almost has to be placed where I have, due to the lighting and time of day. It’s late morning, not approaching sunset as the Anakin-Obi walk ‘n talk or traffic scenes. Even so, it feels more natural than breaking up the latter two scenes mentioned. My opinion; there’s several edits that have placed the scene in both spots.

I’m not sure about Yoda and Qui-Gon… the scene would need new scoring to be extended. The reaction shot of Yoda opens his eyes seems to suggest surprise, and it may be a little awkward to have him respond verbally to Qui-Gon prior.

Eh, the original AOTC crawl uses ‘solar systems,’ so it’s just something I didn’t alter when doing a new crawl. I kind of like it. Episode 2 is the only one of the three to credit Ben Burtt as ‘Sound Editor’ rather than ‘Edited by.’ So, for that one alone, he is credited in my version as ‘Editor’ and I as ‘fan editor.’

I will keep it as ‘solar system’ if for no other reason than it’s something unique to the original crawl and I’m weird.

That’s hard for me to play in my head so I’ll have to see about it next time I’ve got everything in front of me, but I imagine the theatrical will feel more ‘right’ to me just because I’ve seen it a million times. But I’ll see about it!