How do you make your crawls? Any chance you could switch “Tros” to “The Last Hope” for me?
I don’t, I just type them out and hope one of the better editors likes my writing more and uses it haha 😄
Edit: Though Hal and DominicCobb make good points about the spy message. Hmm.
I just posted an updated crawl that fixes this issue. 😉
But isn’t the Resistance disseminating intel they got in the first scene before the FO should have had it to begin with?
I am making some updates to the crawl to reflect that:
Episode IX
THE RISE OF SKYWALKER
Hope! The galaxy has united after
the heroic sacrifice of Luke Skywalker.
Countless systems have taken a stand
against the dreaded FIRST ORDER.
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, haunted by a
mysterious broadcast, rages in search of a
new enemy on the hidden planet of EXEGOL,
determined to destroy any threat to his rule.
Meanwhile, General Leia Organa has dispatched
her brave agents to intercept this dark message,
certain that it may give them a fighting chance
to end the conflict…
Now… the First Order and Kylo have already heard Palpatine’s message before the Falcon even meets with Boolio (as in the original version of the film) solving the problem you stated. Kylo now knows that Palpatine is on Exogol and gives him motivation for searching for the Wayfinder on Mustafar to find the planet Exogol and Palpatine. The message that the Resistance is hearing is the same as the First Order, that Palps is on Exogol with his fleet and he’s come for revenge. Rey’s journey then mirrors Kylo’s as she hears of Palpatine, and begins searching for the Wayfinder 😃
Respects to: idir_hh, poppasketti, Dominic_Cobb
Restructure 2.0
Putting it all together
https://vimeo.com/420424145
PW: fanedit
The restructure was interesting and has a lot going for it, but you’re right that this thing is a Gordian knot. And there’d have to be something in his helmet vision to bring him to being FIRED UP when we see him next.
Better yet, just remove the helmet vision from the restructure and have it be the Rey only vision that someone here mocked up. Can’t remember who that was 😦
Okay so here is the updated crawl with adjustments to fix the issue regarding opening the movie with the heroes finding the message BEFORE we see the Kylo meeting Palpatine intro, and not introducing Palpatine in the crawl:
Episode IX
THE RISE OF SKYWALKER
Hope! The galaxy has united after the
heroic sacrifice of Luke Skywalker.
Countless systems have taken a stand
against the dreaded FIRST ORDER.
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, haunted by
visions in the force, rages in search
of a hidden enemy, determined to
destroy any threat to his rule.
Meanwhile, General Leia Organa has
dispatched her brave agents to intercept
a mysterious broadcast from the First
Order. A threat of REVENGE from a
sinister voice of the past…
Intercepting the Message -> Rey Training -> Mustafar/Palps -> Falcon returns and briefing
We would remove Kylo during Rey’s vision and open with him on Mustafar later, it is then him searching for the Wayfinder to confirm the message the First Order received and to find Exogol and Palpatine.
As the audience, we can assume the message they received is the Fortnite broadcast.
But why would they have to “decode” a message that everybody just heard in plain English?
If we make the message about a hidden fleet and have the fortnite broadcast it will be confirming what they just heard.
If we could sandwich in a scene of palpatine’s broadcast in between rey asking what’s the message and the meeting it would work. Poe’s first line in that scene is “We’ve decoded the message, and it confirms the worst. Palpatine has returned.”
Damn it you’re right. I swear this movie is impossible to work with. Unless we cut out that it WAS the message. We could assume that they heard Palpatine’s broadcast. As much as Hal said he isn’t going to put that in the movie I feel it is almost too essential to not include.
The info is not about Palps, it’s can be about rumors of a hidden Imperial fleet. Or whatever else. Do we ever really see any messages in Star Wars except for Leia’s original one? 😉
To me that scene has always felt like it has been there to establish Hux’s role in the film.
Opening with the secret message scene is very reminding of a James Bond opening where we see him on the end of a different mission
Here is a rough markup of my restructure idea, audio and video needs work but I don’t think this is anything that the amazing team of editors here cannot accomplish. I do think the first shot of the Falcon flying by can be cleaned up a lot (looking at you @poppasketti haha). But overall, I feel like this structure allows for a better crawl on the state of the galaxy, not as fast of pacing at the start, and allows for the Mustafar scene to stay in. I wouldn’t also mind switching up Rey’s vision to eliminate Kylo, but that allows him to communicate with the Vader mask before the Mustafar and Palpatine scenes. Let me know your thoughts on this!
Link
PW: fanedit
UPDATED POST POSTED LATER
I think I may have found a good way to restructure the opening of the film. I am doing a mock now and will post a little later today!
jordan_winter said:
This has bugged me since I saw it at the cinema. I thought it’d be pretty ace if Kylo arrived on Exegol in a Tie Advanced like Vader’s.
@poppasketti… haha 😉
f_cking luke hair hahah fixed
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1AvvP6H-MP065thKbBST0tIrpBrWkFpE9
Figured I would cross post this here. @Jonh is making some pretty essential fixes for all future edits of TROS.
f_cking luke hair hahah fixed
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1AvvP6H-MP065thKbBST0tIrpBrWkFpE9
You rock!!!
@poppasketti, you are a wizard. I’m still amazed at how fast you can pump out these clips!
@nl0428, I’m on board! It definitely gives that part of the film some much needed breathing room
Sure seems that way. A major improvement indeed!
A for sure!
After Jonh’s force ghost scene, I will fight to keep: “And I… I’m all the Jedi”. It just goes to show the irony of the Sith versus the Jedi. Palpatine thinks he is more powerful by killing/possessing and getting stronger while Rey as a Jedi is relying on others and the whole family dynamic that she seeks. That link hits so much harder now when Palpatine says it and it is just him alone but when Rey says it she now has all of the Jedi heroes behind her helping her to defeat him.
More so, her “Rey Skywalker” line at the end now would make even more sense as she is accepting her role as a Jedi (a Skywalker) and completing her arc from being no one to knowing who she is. I think in the context of these edits, the her calling herself “Rey Skywalker” is more in line with her accepting her path as a Jedi and not pushing herself into a family to hide her past. This is just something I think the community here has improved greatly in the context of the film, and with the new scenes, I would hate to see that line go!
shit … I couldn’t contain myself, fucking hair
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1ibJV4LFQlxx8fkjBmT71UDQh-PuPUT8r
only a test,
I have to improve it
This is great hahaha. Jonh, galactic barber
That Falcon ending shot is essential. Poppa does it again!
Just wanted to throw in a slight preference for regular Jedi robes for Anakin. He’s an idealized redeemed Anakin with no need to wear black.
+1
@Poppasketti, since you are a wizard… did you want to try taking a stab at fixing Luke’s weird reshoot hair during the Anch-To scenes?