First:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qNb_f7AwetG9cXlU6aFv3A3gIrOu6TbK/view?usp=drivesdkSecond:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iprhwpzpLeXs0St1Duk91IN9v4cWOm3a/view?usp=drivesdk
Option 2 sounds a little bit fuller/better to me on my headphones. Option 1 seems to have a slight AM radio-like effect to it.
A mockup of the Force Healing illustration:
That looks incredible! I do wonder if there can be some “>” arrows added on the line to better illustrate the person with his hand on the other is actually sending energy over, not draining it.
I think the family line works for Leia.
Leia tells her she is family.
Palpatine tells her she is family.
Rey has to decide if she chooses light or dark.
Palpatine’s line in the movie:
“They don’t have long. No one is coming to help them. And you are the one who led them here. Strike me down. Take the throne. Reign over the new Empire, and the fleet will be yours. Only you have the power to save them. Refuse, and your new family… dies.”
The longer line about diplomacy is not 100% seamless when baked in and having another real Hamill line right afterward, but sounds very good.
@JarJar, could a few different takes of the longer line help to alleviate this?
Worth cleaning up Rey’s new line when she fights Palpatine at the end?
Palpatine: “A scavenger girl is no match for the power in me!”
Rey: “I… I’m a Jedi.”
Hal:
“V3 is done. I only have a few small updates to my other edits and I am retiring from fanedits for now.”
@RogueLeader:
Innovates the AI line readings using a new method
Hal:
Interesting! That’s awesome.
Also, not sure if I missed the explanation, but how were y’all able to substantially improve the quailty of the AI voices pretty much overnight from V3 being released?
I think there is enough room to include
“I learned from the ancient texts. Force energy from me to him.”
I personally think mentioning both the texts AND Leia in such a tight space feels too forced, and like, wouldn’t the texts themselves show her how? It’s a neat idea to have Leia be involved, but she’s already very involved in Ben’s redemption as it is, she sacrifices herself to reach out to him, and with the added shot of the medal it’s also implied she had a hand in Ben’s “memory” of Han. I think is fine if the Force Heal is left as a personal moment between Rey and Kylo/Ben, and it gives the ancient knowledge Rey decided to preserve a moment to shine in this film.
+1
And with the new flashback dialogue that leaves the amount of time Leia trained with Luke up in the air, I think it is better for this just to be a character moment for Rey showing that she is taking the initiative to learn as a Jedi on her own as well.
Rey: “Wait. Don’t shoot it. I’m going to try something from the Jedi texts.”
Not sure if this would read better or not… but as opposed to Rey already knowing it, she is trying it for the first time here.
Emperor Palpatine: At last. Snoke trained you well.
Kylo Ren: I killed Snoke. I’ll kill you.
Emperor Palpatine: My boy. I made trained Snoke.
Since Ascendant removes the notion of Snoke literally being created by Palpatine, maybe we give Snoke back some agency as a character in the ST?
If that does work out well too, we could better clean up his motivations about wanting to take over Rey since Kylo turned back to the light. I am thinking during the “The Princess of Alderaan has disrupted my plan” scene.
Time to revive the “more than a clone, less than a man” line?
Seems like maybe keeping the length of her training completely in the dark is maybe the cleanest solution.
Fair enough! I think we can consider this V4 change complete, unless Hal has any other input?
That’s a beaut’. It’s like Mark Hamill were still with us today.
In my “lack of sleep” daze I just had to quickly Google if something happened to Mark. He is still alive no worries 😄
"Our mother watched helplessly as the democracy she fought so hard to maintain crumbled before her eyes, so Leia decided to follow in her footsteps and watched helplessly as the democracy she fought so hard to maintain crumbled before her eyes. She surrendered her saber to me and left me to deal with Ben Solo’s darkness alone.
Lesson three. Now that she’s gone, Leia is romanticized, deified. But if you strip away the myth and look at her deeds, the legacy of Leia is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris. A thousand generations live in you now, but this is your fight, and honestly you’re better off on your own."
Isn’t that the same thing Luke did, rebuilt a Jedi Order in the same way as before and watched it crumble?
@Burbin, think you need to understand there is no saving the writing for the OT characters in the ST.
“I started to train her, and she was a quick learner."
Leia kicks Luke’s ass
"But Leia felt she could better serve the galaxy through diplomacy, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”
@JarJar, can you try this one? The new one isn’t bad, but I think that initial line misses that Leia only trained briefly.
I actually really liked having “Leia was a quick learner” right after she beats Luke in combat. Putting it before would spoil who wins their spar kinda. But it’s a minor thing, really.
I think it gives a little twist, cause she grabs the lightsaber with the force and you’re like “oh she did learn the force quick” and then she completely owns Luke to his shock. That’s kinda funny to me 😂
And the “quick learner” part of the line would be over the part where she picks up the saber with the force. chef’s kiss
“I started to train her, and she was a quick learner."
Leia kicks Luke’s ass
"But Leia felt she could better serve the galaxy through diplomacy, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”
A few slight tweaks to the wording. I think we are almost there.
Here is another stab at it:
Luke: “I started to train her. Leia was quick to learn, but she knew she could better serve the galaxy with diplomacy, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”
I’d REALLY like leaving the Padme reference if we can. It would be the only time she is referenced in the ST and it would be nice to include as this is the finale to the whole Skywalker Saga.
I think it’s important to say that Leia was a capable student at least, since she’s shown defeating Luke in the scene.
I don’t think we need to be told that though since we see that in the scene.
Good point. How about:
Luke: “I started to train her, but she was reluctant to follow the Jedi Path. Leia felt she could better help the galaxy through the Senate, like our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”
Sounds like the new line works to me then hahaha 😉
She takes it back up by being Rey’s master. But Leia being her master is having Rey run the same obstacle course she used to, having her read the books Luke found, and having her try to reach out to past Jedi through the force.
Leia is not much of a master of the force or a teacher for that matter…
