Grand Admiral Thrawn

I think there is enough room to include

“I learned from the ancient texts. Force energy from me to him.”

Burbin said:

I personally think mentioning both the texts AND Leia in such a tight space feels too forced, and like, wouldn’t the texts themselves show her how? It’s a neat idea to have Leia be involved, but she’s already very involved in Ben’s redemption as it is, she sacrifices herself to reach out to him, and with the added shot of the medal it’s also implied she had a hand in Ben’s “memory” of Han. I think is fine if the Force Heal is left as a personal moment between Rey and Kylo/Ben, and it gives the ancient knowledge Rey decided to preserve a moment to shine in this film.

+1

And with the new flashback dialogue that leaves the amount of time Leia trained with Luke up in the air, I think it is better for this just to be a character moment for Rey showing that she is taking the initiative to learn as a Jedi on her own as well.

Rey: “Wait. Don’t shoot it. I’m going to try something from the Jedi texts.”

Not sure if this would read better or not… but as opposed to Rey already knowing it, she is trying it for the first time here.

Emperor Palpatine: At last. Snoke trained you well.

Kylo Ren: I killed Snoke. I’ll kill you.

Emperor Palpatine: My boy. I made trained Snoke.

Since Ascendant removes the notion of Snoke literally being created by Palpatine, maybe we give Snoke back some agency as a character in the ST?

If that does work out well too, we could better clean up his motivations about wanting to take over Rey since Kylo turned back to the light. I am thinking during the “The Princess of Alderaan has disrupted my plan” scene.

Time to revive the “more than a clone, less than a man” line?

DominicCobb said:

Seems like maybe keeping the length of her training completely in the dark is maybe the cleanest solution.

Fair enough! I think we can consider this V4 change complete, unless Hal has any other input?

Hal 9000 said:

That’s a beaut’. It’s like Mark Hamill were still with us today.

In my “lack of sleep” daze I just had to quickly Google if something happened to Mark. He is still alive no worries 😄

Burbin said:

"Our mother watched helplessly as the democracy she fought so hard to maintain crumbled before her eyes, so Leia decided to follow in her footsteps and watched helplessly as the democracy she fought so hard to maintain crumbled before her eyes. She surrendered her saber to me and left me to deal with Ben Solo’s darkness alone.

Lesson three. Now that she’s gone, Leia is romanticized, deified. But if you strip away the myth and look at her deeds, the legacy of Leia is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris. A thousand generations live in you now, but this is your fight, and honestly you’re better off on your own."

Isn’t that the same thing Luke did, rebuilt a Jedi Order in the same way as before and watched it crumble?

@Burbin, think you need to understand there is no saving the writing for the OT characters in the ST.

DZ-330 said:

“I started to train her, and she was a quick learner."

Leia kicks Luke’s ass

"But Leia felt she could better serve the galaxy through diplomacy, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”

@JarJar, can you try this one? The new one isn’t bad, but I think that initial line misses that Leia only trained briefly.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

I actually really liked having “Leia was a quick learner” right after she beats Luke in combat. Putting it before would spoil who wins their spar kinda. But it’s a minor thing, really.

I think it gives a little twist, cause she grabs the lightsaber with the force and you’re like “oh she did learn the force quick” and then she completely owns Luke to his shock. That’s kinda funny to me 😂

And the “quick learner” part of the line would be over the part where she picks up the saber with the force. chef’s kiss

“I started to train her, and she was a quick learner."

Leia kicks Luke’s ass

"But Leia felt she could better serve the galaxy through diplomacy, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”

A few slight tweaks to the wording. I think we are almost there.

Here is another stab at it:

Luke: “I started to train her. Leia was quick to learn, but she knew she could better serve the galaxy with diplomacy, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”

I’d REALLY like leaving the Padme reference if we can. It would be the only time she is referenced in the ST and it would be nice to include as this is the finale to the whole Skywalker Saga.

NeverarGreat said:

I think it’s important to say that Leia was a capable student at least, since she’s shown defeating Luke in the scene.

I don’t think we need to be told that though since we see that in the scene.

Good point. How about:

Luke: “I started to train her, but she was reluctant to follow the Jedi Path. Leia felt she could better help the galaxy through the Senate, like our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”

Sounds like the new line works to me then hahaha 😉

She takes it back up by being Rey’s master. But Leia being her master is having Rey run the same obstacle course she used to, having her read the books Luke found, and having her try to reach out to past Jedi through the force.

Leia is not much of a master of the force or a teacher for that matter…

I think Luke’s “There’s something my sister would want you to have” fixes that though. Leia failed, but her faith is in Rey to make things right and continue the path she should have but chose not to.

That is the problem with the sequels as a whole. Terrible writing. But at least this line of thinking with her in politics makes some sense.

Luke fails as a Jedi
Han fails as a leader
Leia fails as a politician

Exactly my thought, and why I think he should say “Rey” first.

Luke: “Rey, final lesson, some things are stronger than blood.”

Jar Jar Bricks said:

While that would work better in terms of sentence structure, I believe the goal here was to replicate his style of introducing lessons from TLJ.

“Lesson one. The Force is not a power you have…”

“Lesson two. Now that they’re extinct, the Jedi are romanticized, deified…”

In that context, I think the line might read better as:

Luke: “Rey, lesson three. Some things are stronger than blood.”

Luke: “Because you’re a Palpatine?”

Start next line when it cuts to Rey’s expression

Luke: “Here is my final lesson Rey, some things are stronger than blood.”

Jar Jar Bricks said:

It’s honestly kinda scary how realistic this sounds when put together:

https://youtu.be/QJA71I80Ugs?si=cjNhaNEELzNMzHeL

Wow! AI is amazing but scary at the same time. 👍

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Would it be possible to snip the “and its people” part? I’m mostly thinking about constraints in terms of available space for the new lines.

Like this?

Luke: “I started to train her, but she was reluctant to follow the Jedi Path. Leia felt she could better serve the galaxy through diplomacy, like our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”

Jar Jar Bricks said:

If we were to go for the politics explanation route, then I at the very least agree that it being “the last night of her training” needs to be replaced with something else. Make it clear that she didn’t train for that long with him.

This is why I had suggested this instead:

Luke: “I started to train her, but Leia was reluctant to follow the Jedi Path. She knew she could better serve the galaxy and its people through diplomacy, like our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again by someone who would finish her journey. A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight.”