- Post
- #297431
- Topic
- Episode 3 - Editing Back in Progress (* unfinished project *)
- Link
- https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297431/action/topic#297431
- Time
Originally posted by: darkhelmet
Well, it's slow-going with life and other projects in the mix, but a friend and I sat down with an Episode 3 script and went to work; he's got a head for story details and is great at continuity!
We cut out a bunch of stuff (Grievous will be gone as Kerr had said he was doing with his edit) and added some scenes back in (making Padme a stronger character).
Seeing that the story would actually work without Grievous (it was like getting a look at what Lucas had written before the addition of Grievous the story flows so well!), I got excited to begin my final anamorphic widescreen edit, and wrote a new title crawl with my friend's input.
Gone is "War!" or anything remotely cheesy like that. I referenced all of the GOUT crawls for similar language and tone. Hopefully everyone will like it, but there is a lot of story we had to write just in the crawl to plug up plot holes like why the fighting doesn't cease after Dooku is dead. Well, here it is; fire away!
Star Wars
Episode III
The Republic Lost
Despite staggering losses
to the ranks of both army
and Jedi, the indecisive
balance of the Clone Wars
has recently tipped in the
Republic’s favor.
In desperation, Separatist
leader Count Dooku has
risked his fleet and his
own capture to abduct the
Supreme Chancellor from
the capital planet.
Escape would destroy the
Republic’s resolve; capture
will doom the tenuous
Separatist coalition. In
pursuit, Jedis Kenobi and
Skywalker race to restore
peace to the galaxy….
Well, it's slow-going with life and other projects in the mix, but a friend and I sat down with an Episode 3 script and went to work; he's got a head for story details and is great at continuity!
We cut out a bunch of stuff (Grievous will be gone as Kerr had said he was doing with his edit) and added some scenes back in (making Padme a stronger character).
Seeing that the story would actually work without Grievous (it was like getting a look at what Lucas had written before the addition of Grievous the story flows so well!), I got excited to begin my final anamorphic widescreen edit, and wrote a new title crawl with my friend's input.
Gone is "War!" or anything remotely cheesy like that. I referenced all of the GOUT crawls for similar language and tone. Hopefully everyone will like it, but there is a lot of story we had to write just in the crawl to plug up plot holes like why the fighting doesn't cease after Dooku is dead. Well, here it is; fire away!
Star Wars
Episode III
The Republic Lost
Despite staggering losses
to the ranks of both army
and Jedi, the indecisive
balance of the Clone Wars
has recently tipped in the
Republic’s favor.
In desperation, Separatist
leader Count Dooku has
risked his fleet and his
own capture to abduct the
Supreme Chancellor from
the capital planet.
Escape would destroy the
Republic’s resolve; capture
will doom the tenuous
Separatist coalition. In
pursuit, Jedis Kenobi and
Skywalker race to restore
peace to the galaxy….
Firing away, sir!
Darkhelmet, I'm glad to see you're cutting Grievous, but I'm intrigued by how the Separtists would stay together after Dooku's demise. Plus, how would the Utupau battle go? Oh well, I guess I'll have to just wait and see!
I see where you're going with your new crawl and what you're trying to set up, but in some regards I think it goes against the tone that most of the other crawls have. I took the plot points from yours and SOME wording from the official crawl, to come up with the following. I humbly offer it for your consideration:
Despite staggering losses
on both sides, the balance
of the Clone Wars has
begun to tip in favor of
the Republic.
In a desperate move to
destroy the Republic’s
resolve, Count Dooku has
swept into the Republic
capital and kidnapped the
Supreme Chancellor.
As the Separatists attempt
to flee with their hostage,
Obi-Wan Kenobi and
Anakin Skywalker race
to rescue the Chancellor
and deliver a decisive
blow to the tenuous
Separatist collation....
But if you don't like this, at least please use "Jedi Kights" instead of "Jedis". They are never referred to as "Jedis" in the movies.
Just my two cents.
) of the ship going into hyperspace. Then Obi Wan talks to Padme, and walks toward the cockpit. The scene where the emperor comes to get Anakin can go here. Then we cut back to the ship, where Obi Wan sits in the cockpit with 3PO, with a rotoscoped hyperspace field in the window.