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EddieDean

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Post
#1512048
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (Released)
Time

Maybe the New Republic is simply struggling after the fall of the Galactic Empire? The Republic slowly and then quickly transitioned its governmental apparatus into becoming the Empire, ruled under extreme military bureaucracy for twenty years, then collapsed. A New Republic wouldn’t necessarily have recovered to anything like the strength of the old Republic in that time.

Post
#1511898
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (Released)
Time

The only issue I can see with this approach is that it implies too much public knowledge of Luke (and implicitly the Jedi). At this point in time, the Jedi are supposed to be believed to be long dead, fallen into myth, and Luke’s absence is only impactful to those who knew of him- the OT cast and their close allies, and the most senior Sith.

I think it can be the triggering incident behind the return of the First Order at a stretch, but I don’t think it should cause New Republic chaos or its government’s response.

Post
#1511324
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Haha, that’s beautiful!

I tell EVERYONE I’m into editing - “So, you should be aware, I’m a huge nerd and there’s like this one Star Wars cartoon that wasn’t as good as a bunch of other stuff, so I spent two years turning 137 variable quality episodes into 46 good ones, I promise I’m cool as well though.” I’m always holding up Ascendent as the pinnacle of what he community achieved.

Post
#1511076
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused (v1.5) [100%] - All core episodes COMPLETE! + Thoughts on the new TALES OF THE JEDI
Time

Thanks, VulgarisMagistralis! I really appreciate this. Have you seen the original show?

You’ve picked out a few of my more radical ideas for this season, so I’m interested to hear others’ thoughts on whether you agree with Vulgaris that I’ve gone too far here. My intention with all of these more broadly was to remove some of that early ‘anthology’ feel and try to have season one feel a bit more cohesive - perhaps I have failed in that and this all feels too fan-edity?

Specific comments:

  • On 5, I think this is a necessary evil. The original arc had a very odd structure, where in the first episode the team fail then succeed, becoming “the best team ever”. But then they’re placed on the Rishi moon, which is clearly a lesser posting, but through a few team sacrifices they become Arc Troopers. And then finally they help at Kamino and rejoin the 501st. My intention was to smooth this out - having them fail their training and have the lesser posting at Rishi be a punishment. But THEN, through perserverance and sacrifice, and the success at Kamino, they become Arc Troopers of the 501st in response to all of that. To me, that feels like a smoother three-act structure for them, but I’m interested to know how others feel about how well that lands.
  • On 7, this is definitely valid. Mainly I’m doing it to explain her absence in that episode, which I do a few times in season one. To my mind it’s valuable for making the season cohesive, but again, I don’t know. The scene doesn’t work great as an ending, taking away from their victories, but I probably could do it well enough.
  • On 8, I think it’s necessary to get Nightsisters going ASAP, since we make Maul the spine of the show. Sure the characters change models, but it’s not unreasonable they they change outfits, is it?
  • On 10, that’s interesting. I’d hoped to emphasise two things here: That after learning that the Sith Lord is interested in force-sensitive kids, Ahsoka has taken it upon herself to invest in the future of the force - a role she takes in both Rebels and Mandalorian. And secondly, that clearly (offscreen) Anakin has been teaching her about his adventures (and in this one, he struggles without his lightsaber).

More voices would be appreciated here, if this content is jarring (for the hypothetical first-time viewer) I’ll have to revisit the work.

Post
#1510571
Topic
(The Mandalorian+Boba) The Way of Mandalore | A Compilation Edit (Completed: Out Now)
Time

Right, I’ve just watched

Book 5

So here’s some feedback!

Firstly, a bit of a review. This was absolutely brilliant. People had a lot of issues with the Boba show, and your edit fixes them immensely. The mods are minimised, the characterisation and action is way tighter, it’s fantastic. And as much as the flashback content was cool, focusing on the present day keeps the Boba story tight and focused. (Plus, mixing flashbacks with earlier Mando content as you have in other movies works best.) If you wanted a movie version fixing all of those things as your ‘Mando season 2.5’, this is the one. The content from the original episode 7 in particular was impeccable, so this whole thing just ends on a real high. So like your other movies already for me, this is archival.

Onwards to considerations! I’ve also reviewed all of the original episodes in parallel. And none of these are vital - the movie absolutely works excellently as it stands.

  • I do think the scene of Boba taking Bib Fortuna’s throne works better as the previous movie’s stinger than this movie’s opening. It just has the feeling of a “tune in next season”. I’d potentially still start on a flashback, but you have other options, such as Fennec and Boba’s fireside chat where he talks about wanting to build a house, or even a little ‘previously on’ supercut.
  • Opening on Boba already respected in the town was a great move, though the prior scene mentions that people are “lined up” to see Boba, which we don’t then see as he’s walking the street. I don’t know if there’s some other content showing respect you could play prior to the street walk, or perhaps that line just needs cut, but it felt a little bit like “oh, we’re not seeing that then”. You definitely did the right thing to use the original line up content at the end though, so I wouldn’t revert that.
  • I really enjoyed your cut to the would-be assassin in the street. Knocks a guy to the floor then we cut to him in Boba’s palace. However, I don’t know if the palace scene is necessary - there’s no key content there that couldn’t be implied by just cutting to them frog marching him to the mayor, and you’d skip the weird implication that they dropped him into the rancor pit and he somehow didn’t die (since we see later that he does currently have a rancor). That scene’s also a bit odd since Boba says the prisoner needs his head, but then drops him into the pit, which isn’t specifically a head-removing act.
  • There’s a good line from Fennec at 03:00 in episode s01e03, “The mayor has no power, somebody else is behind that play.” Could be useful in a few locations in your movie to emphasise that it all links back to the Pykes.
  • I really liked how you handled the mods throughout. Absolutely minimal, and they were played in a way where Boba kind of got them because he was desperate but also in a way that he wasn’t entirely taking them seriously. I think everyone assuming they’re pretty crap (because they look like shit) and then having them turn out to be passable in the final fight makes them way more acceptable than badass teenagers who Boba actually respects from the beginning. To that end though, I think a better placement for them would be AFTER the other local crime lords agree to neutrality but no support. That way, he has no good options for allies, so literally just picks up these goofy looking kids off the street to act as local lookouts and little more. The only thing you’d have to cut to achieve this is the mod who appears on the phone when the Pykes arrive in force, which I think you could do without comfortably. It lines up neatly with your intentions, I think.
  • The first cut from Boba to Mando didn’t feel ‘heavy’ enough, the music didn’t really carry the transition there. Maybe adding Mando’s theme over the transition is the right move here. It also felt a bit weird placed as the answer to the question “if not us, then who?”, since that isn’t really the role Mando plays… it’s supposed to be rhetorical and imply that, yes, it should be Boba.
  • That said, I’m not sure if we really need that bounty hunting scene, though I appreciate it’s where Mando gets the leg wound. But perhaps then we don’t need the scene where he turns it in - since we’re cutting away to Boba maybe he turns it in offscreen, and then we pick back up with him on the same location heading to his culvert.
  • The focus on Garsa’s Sanctuary instead of anything with the Twins was great. I felt a little like we ducked in and out of Garsa’s a little too frequently, but I think a slightly modified intercutting with Mando’s content just to pace those visits out a little more might remedy that nicely, as it’s clearly a place that’s good for connecting to the pulse of the town.
  • Speaking of which then, there were a couple of places where I felt we spent a little too long on Mando before cutting back. The scene where Mando talks to the Armorer and then they forge the spear into Grogu’s armour could have been two scenes, letting us cut back to Boba sooner.
  • I’d reintroduce the first scene of Cobb, from s01e06. It gives good context on what the Pykes are actually doing, and also explains why he draws their ire. Early-middle of the movie feels about right to me.
  • I loved how you used the rancor, but I think we need to explain to the audience that this is an all-new one after Jabba’s original was killed in ROTJ. Just a line where he references it would be useful. Perhaps just using a fuller version of the assassin-rancor scene, without revealing that there is none, but having Fennec call it the “new” rancor? [audio: “n” + “you” if you can’t find “new”, and “ny” from “any” might help smooth that too.] I agree with your cutting of the training scene though, since Mandalorians both in the lore and in the TV shows are already shown to have great beast taming skill, so the suprise reveal near the end of the movie works best this way.
  • I don’t think we need to show the armorer giving Mando Grogu’s chainmail wrapped in cloth, since it’s clear that he’s having something forged “what shall we forge…?” I also don’t think we need to see Mando getting on the space bus (him arriving on Tattooine on one is plenty), but that said, there’s nothing weak about the scene, it is kind of fascinating. I’m mostly presenting these just for an extra consideration pass.
  • I’m not sure if it’s because you cut something from the dialogue, but I found Viszla’s anger in his fight with Mando to be a bit out of left field. It didn’t seem super well justified, and as it stands it would feel more appropriate if he was just seeking to test himself honourably and respecfully.
  • I’m not sure if we need the chase between the mods and majordomo - perhaps majordomo just successfully does a runner and the main characters work out why? Not sure if that’d work though. Maybe even more trims to the chase could work, as if the mods have set up an ambush in anticipation? Or maybe we cut the scene very early and a little differently, to imply that Boba sees the Mayor is gone before the majordomo tries to escape, implying they keep him captured? Or, just use his dialogue “The mayor’s gone, he’s working with the Pykes” as he’s standing during that discussion, but when we don’t see his face, and imply he stuck around with Boba after that, either under duress or not.
  • I’d maybe re-add the comments between Fennec and Mando about Boba having weak forces - I think it is relevant to the final fight (and also emphasises how they don’t expect much from the mods, as the audience also don’t.)
  • The explosion at Garsa’s could have done with more tense music before it happened, if possible. The moment felt just a little too chill for the sudden explosion. I know the explosion is intended as a suprise, but I’d have added just a hint of “something’s not right”.
  • I’d split between the explosion at Garsa’s and Boba and Fennec showing up. We cut away to a few other plots around this time, I’m sure something can fit into this slot to let it breathe.
  • I did think we spent too long rebuilding the N1 starfighter, testing it, and dealing with the Republic. In context, this all slowed us down from the meat of the episode. It’s all nice content but for a movie it felt like too much distraction for me.
  • When the crew show up at Garsa’s bombed-out place for the second time (weird that they go in and out twice too, I thought…) I’m not sure if you made a couple of cuts but this was the only scene which felt a little edited. When Mando draws the gun, and when Cad Bane shows up, in particular.
  • Smudger had a good idea and used Fennec’s “Hello Bane” and Bane’s “Fennec Shand” from their meeting in the Bad Batch as Fennec leaves the bombed sanctuary.
  • Finally, a slightly separate thing. Ending on an extended epilogue of Luke did kind of work fine (though I might have wrapped up all of the Boba stuff with the new respect before catching up with Mando at all). And in fact, now I think about it, the earlier Luke moment kind of distracted from the Boba focus earlier in the movie too. However, maybe this movie doesn’t want the Luke/Grogu/Mando content at all? Maybe you release just an intermission, call it Book 5.5, for this? (As an even more separate thing, I don’t think Mando episode 12 fits in either the preceding or following movie either, so I’d have that as intermission 3.5 too.) I appreciate that’s a little odd, making this five movies and two intermissions, but I think ultimately it gives a balanced viewing experience where the movies get to really excel with movie pacing, but a couple of short bitesize episodes complete the story. That said, it does totally work as is.

As before, I’ve gone through your changelog and love every other change you made. LOADS of extremely smart stuff.

Post
#1510523
Topic
Tales of the Jedi (Dooku episodes) + TCW
Time

I considered this- they add up to 45 minutes so aren’t a movie on their own, but I think the main concern trying to make a movie from it is that Dooku doesn’t have much character in TCW beyond cartoon villainy. The most interesting Dooku stuff is probably the Nightsisters arc, though that’s not really a Dooku story, and perhaps Scipio, where he’s involved in fairly “Imperial” stuff but again he’s not a major focus. But probably best, you do have the Yoda arc going into Sifo-Dyas, which gives some good Dooku/Sidious stuff too, that could work.

Post
#1510453
Topic
(The Mandalorian+Boba) The Way of Mandalore | A Compilation Edit (Completed: Out Now)
Time

Oh, you’ve absolutely achieved your goals here. The big thing was improving the Boba content and getting it chronological, then all your lovely ‘invisible’ universal changes like tightening character and tightening combat have been excellent. Going through your changelog, I agree with every nip and tuck. It’s solid.

So there isn’t a rush on this. I doubt season 3 will do anything that requires unpicking here, since the show hits the core beats, but either way, it’s not pressing.

However, I’ve got a big appetite to keep thinking on this for now - I might find the time to realise some of my more radical ideas for you, such as the wetlands/Boba flashback intercutting, so we all can at least get a feel for them. I’ll produce some rough cuts.

Post
#1510431
Topic
(The Mandalorian+Boba) The Way of Mandalore | A Compilation Edit (Completed: Out Now)
Time

I’ve watched movies 1-4, and am loving this so far. As promised, some more detailed feedback.

As ever, this is all caveated by me thinking these are absolute great movies as-is, and already my archival versions.

Universal

  • You have an issue with crushed blacks - you’re losing detail in your dark sections at certain points. It’s most noticeable during the lights-off prison break content, night time fireside chats, and on Trask, the Mon Calamari moon. Either this is caused by the standard reason for crushed blacks, or it’s something related to your grading or upscaling.
  • For me, all movies have too many wipe transitions. The show uses a few of them per episode, but that adds up a lot when compiling them into a movie, making them stand out against the usual SW movie format of 0-3ish. I’d review this where possible - even removing ones from the original content if you’re able to make the music around them work smoothly.

Book 1

  • This appears in the original episode too, but IG-11 in his first appearance keeps referring to “said asset” having not mentioned what “said asset” is. It’s almost as if there was a cut line first. Editing that to have him just say “the asset” would fix this.
  • There’s a slightly awkward musical transition before the E-WEB (or whatever cannon) fires before Mando and IG find Grogu for the first time.
  • I wasn’t entirely clear on why Mando doesn’t have the blurrg for the return journey. Was there anything that showed him losing it?
  • Narratively it’s a bit odd that Mando enters the mudhorn cave on his walk back. I thought Smudger had a solution for this where Mando stumbles upon it just outside the cave, but you mention using Smudger’s idea there so you must have considered that. However, you could alternatively use one of the scenes where it just charges in and knocks him down, as a suprise introduction to that fight.
  • You might not need this with your new 1,2,6,3 structure, and there might not be any content here, but seeing the Imperials respond to Mando’s theft of Grogu in some way would be nice if possible.
  • When Mando starts the prison break episode content, you could cut the scenes where Mando shows off the razorcrest to the guy who sends them off on the mission (the guy who owns the station). It’s not vital to cover that “we just need your ship” subplot, instead just getting into the crew introductions. (If any of that dialogue is useful, it can probably be shifted to elsewhere as that segment is quite talky.)
  • I’d still vote for showing Mayfield and the others alive, perhaps before you return from episode 6 to episode 3, to show that this is a guy with morality, before we get into the Grogu’s carrier/Mando’s flashback sequence.
  • Potentially split Kuiil and IG into two scenes at different times in the movie - one where he’s recovered, one where he’s repaired - to help sell time passing.
  • There were a couple of nice shots in episode 2 of Mando admiring his ship, and a nice hero shot before it lifts off, which I think you cut from this movie. I’d keep them - if any movie deserves a ship hero shot, it’s your first.
  • You could cut the references to the Mandalorians needing to leave their culvert here, to make their empty nest a bit more of a darker suprise when they’re lost in your Book 3.

Book 2

  • If including the wetlands planet’s content here, I’d either go all in (and play most of the episode including the raider fight) or absolute minimum, focusing on the character drama. For the latter, I’d consider cutting the Cara Dune fight (you could potentially skip from Mando asking “who’s she?” to some Boba content, then back to Mando and Cara in conversation). I’d also remove the shots of Mando training the wetlanders in use of weapons during the montage if you’re not including the raider fight - if something’s needed in its place to preserve the music there, there must be plenty of passive wetlands shots you could use.
  • This is a silly note, but I love that now Boba gets his vision quest from the powder rather than the lizard, the scene plays out as “Here’s a lizard without context. Anyway, take some drugs.”
  • The first transition from Boba to Din does need a wipe transition, I think, and a little extension to let the moment breathe.
  • There’s a moment where you preserved the original Boba episodes’ ‘fading in and out of the Bacta dream’ graphic. This kind of worked as he was a bit fuzzy headed then, but it might be a bit neater if you can skip those bits.
  • The pacing around the overlap episode could be a little different. At present, there’s more from Boba that could be shifted toward the ‘present day’ and intercut with Mando’s story more. And equally, there’s a point in Mando’s story where the kid bounty hunter disappears, but then we cut very quickly to everyone being back in Mos Pelgo. I’d get some more Boba content (e.g. him and Fennec round the fire?) into that space, to give the others more implied time to travel back to Mos Pelgo. (Those Mos Pelgo scenes happen in the day too - why not have that be the next morning after the fireplace night?)
  • This is more a fault of the original, that it feels a bit weird that Fennec recovers away from the mod parlour, so she’s still out in the desert having apparently been taken to a facility that can repair her. There’s not much that can be done, perhaps, though I might just skip the ‘mod repair’ angle entirely, including removing her showing off her mechanical innards from Mando episode 14 too. (This might conflict with future content if her having cybernetics comes up in future though.)
  • The sarlacc pit to fire conversation wipe felt a little abrupt.
  • See previous notes about shifting some content between movies 1/2/3.

Book 3

  • I’d remove the guy giving Cara money without context. It raises too many questions.
  • Did you remove the expanded aspect ratio stuff from Mando episode 9 versus the Krayt Dragon? I think that was a lovely artistic touch, I’d preserve it if you could.
  • As much as I enjoyed it the first time round, for pacing and tension, I’d avoid the humorous scout scene conversation as much as possible. We need to feel that Din’s crew and Grogu need rescuing, so we need to get to IG doing both.
  • I could go for even more removal of Din not liking droids. It doesn’t serve much purpose.
  • With the move of the foundling flashback to Book 1, you can remove more of its references here.
  • I liked what you did throughout to hide Din’s face, but in that case, I’d not even tease it here. Watching the original, I felt like you could easily cut around having Mando need IG to take his helmet off, and just cut to a later point in the sewers when they’re all back together.
  • In the culvert, Cara has sensible dialogue saying “hurry up, we’re pursued by Imperials!” Problem is, it comes quite late in the conversation - I’d shift it to earlier in their conversation if possible.
  • The waving baby joke felt a little awkward, I’d remove that if possible.
  • The content from episode 8 ends on very ‘final’ feeling music - I’d soften this moment if possible. (Also see my earlier note about potentially moving eps 7/8 to Book 2, and opening Book 3 on episode 9.)
  • Ideally we cut the unnecessary Abyssian, which feels like too much of a reintroduction to Mando. If you do restructure these, You might be able to cut him out entirely for the opening of a Book 3 which starts here, and just assume Mando picked up a rumour. (I think in early dialogue he says “I heard there was a Mandalorian round here” or something.)
  • I found the Krayt dragon swimming through town to be a bit odd. Wouldn’t the infrastructure built on the sand collapse? I wonder if the earthquake would be sufficient, only revealing the beast’s scale when they go to attack it.
  • I’d cut the scene where Mando’s bike gets destroyed by some random pirates. Instead you could just show him travelling homeward, then cut to Mando walking with his pack and kit when he’s in town, presumably after having parked it. It didn’t quite track for me that it was set up by Boba - I’d stick with the original shot sequence for the Boba reveal.
  • I think Smudger created an alternative landing on Trask which avoided a lot of the damage to the ship, which could smooth that out for you - especially since we don’t now have an obvious cause for the damage.

Book 4

  • Very little to say here. Only real issue for me was the inclusion of episode 12. I like the episode well enough, but I think it’s not necessary and it gets in the way here. Whilst the reveal of the cloning facility is cool, it doesn’t tell us anything new (other content this movie tells us about Pershing’s work and wanting Grogu as a ‘donor’.), it has a few too many moments of goofy humour as part of the core plotline (so they’re uncuttable), and some of the action is a little weird too (the vehicle dropping from a massive height). In this context, it causes the movie (centered on getting Grogu to the Jedi, as set up by the last episode) it just slows us down. I think opening on Mando having arrived at Calodan, where he was sent at the end of Book 3, would be the stronger start. And hey, if people want this content, they can just watch the original episode in between both of your movies.
  • You could also, if you wanted to, include some of the ‘welcome to new Nevarro’ scenes with Greef and Cara, preceding the later scenes where Mando comes to recruit Cara.
  • Oh, and the tracker scene could come at the end of your previous movie now, since that features an Imperial presence.
  • You could probably also skip Cara being deputised, since she’s not going to appear again so that plotline won’t go anywhere. Now, she’s able to buy Mayfeld’s time through unknown (but not unimaginable) means, and then they cheekily don’t return him to the New Republic (which she’s no longer associated with).
  • Oh, and your v3 of Book 4 doesn’t finish playing the credits before the file ends - so I’m not sure if you include the Boba-on-the-throne stinger or not, though I’d recommend it here.
  • The Grogu with the wires scene is cute, but I felt like it felt a little chopped into place here.
  • I could have done with at least a little hint as to why Ahsoka is on Korvus, at least something to imply it’s deliberate to her and not just hanging out.
  • I do think your cuts to not show Din’s face work, though it comes off as quite deliberate direction that the director is now trying to avoid showing it to the audience, which took me out a little. I don’t know if this scene’s dialogue can be tightened to avoid some of the more ‘deliberate’/awkward shots? On the flipside, having Mando ‘naked’ would add to his vulnerability here, and therefore the tension of the scene.
Post
#1510398
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused (v1.5) [100%] - All core episodes COMPLETE! + Thoughts on the new TALES OF THE JEDI
Time

I love this level of feedback, JupiterBrains, thanks!

The New Padawan is a tricky one, and I think my priority is just to get through it as quickly and painlessly as possible. (Give or take the new content from Tales of the Jedi.) While you’re entirely right, and that the prequel episode’s content fleshes this story out, I think what we’re competing against here is that the episode’s military plotline just isn’t that interesting - and it’s not a great ‘promise’ to the viewer about what they’re going to get.

Ultimately, TCW works best when treated as a series of good character stories, where the setting is the war, rather than a set of battlefield stories. So yes, increasing the tension of the battlefield story would be valuable, but, is that really a story worth telling? I think the heart of this episode is the introduction of Ahsoka and her early relationship with Anakin, and we should stay focused on that in an otherwise not particularly appealing episode.

I’ve also mentioned here before that I have a little issue with introducing traitor clones in our very first story - yes, great, we should see them as individuals with their own agency, but I think it’s too early to introduce their potential for outright betrayal of the Republic in a show where we need to believe in them as the good guys’ reliable military.

I could, I suppose, create an extended version of the opening episode, as I plan to with a few other episodes, to give people the choice. But I don’t want to overdo that!

On Life and Death though, I do think there’s room for inclusion here, because it supports that core goal of keeping the focus on Ahsoka. Especially early in the show - most people are cool with Ahsoka now, but back when TCW came out she was disliked, and I want to kind of say ‘nope, we’re starting with Ahsoka, we’re confident about it, come along for the ride’. So yes, including L&D would help there. I’m not sure exactly how to include it - showing her powers would be a nice crossover point, though comes with her own challenges - but I’ll think about it more sometime.

Please keep feedback like this coming!

Post
#1510061
Topic
(The Mandalorian+Boba) The Way of Mandalore | A Compilation Edit (Completed: Out Now)
Time

Dammit, on review of your movie 3, that idea of mine has an issue: Mando in Ep9 has the jetpack, mudhorn mark, and new Grogu basket, all of which he gets in Ep8.

However, watching your movie 3, I was also struck by how much of an ending Ep8 feels like, and how much of a new beginning Ep9 feels like.

So maybe here’s a solution: Split the Boba flashback content across both movie 2 and movie 3, and shift the Ep7/8 content into movie 2.

That way, movie 2 shows Boba and Mando both trying to find new homes (ignore that they’re not chronological tales, they thematically work together), then then they lose those homes (1h) then both characters nearly meet (20m), then Mando’s offered to take the job that’ll free him from pursuit and that plays out (including him getting his mission to get Grogu to the Jedi via finding more Mandos) (1h) including somewhere in there him healing Fennec (10m).

Then, movie 3 begins on Mando on his mission to find more Mandalorians. This is the focus of the movie, and the B-plot is the story of Boba’s armour. Mando gets his direction to Tattooine, where we see Boba and Fennec are still there recovering his ship, and then looking for his armour at the Sarlacc pit. When he accepts it’s not there, reveal Cobb in his armour, and play out the reveal story. Then follow Mando defeating the Krayt dragon and getting the armour, observed by Boba. End on the two frog lady episodes, and Mando finding his people (and striking at the Empire a little in the finale).

This achieves a couple more useful things: Gideon’s presence in movie 2 instead of movie 3, establishing him as the primary villain sooner. And having Boba an active main character from movie 2 onwards also. Further, every movie now actively progresses the Imperial-Mando plotline which seems to be the spine of the show.

I think that’s very strong after your excellent movie 1, which establishes Mando’s character, and would give both movies 2 and 3 a bit better balance and movie-structure pacing.

Post
#1509999
Topic
(The Mandalorian+Boba) The Way of Mandalore | A Compilation Edit (Completed: Out Now)
Time

Further thoughts:

So, you’re currently exploring having Movie 1 play out as Mando episodes 1,2,6,3. That’s a lovely arc centered on the theme of who Mando is and where his loyalties lie. He’s sent out to find the Child, returns it with hesitation, takes another job that’s morally dubious and really tests his loyalty to bounty hunting, then when he goes to turn that in, his flashback to his own vulnerable youth causes him to rescue the child, forsaking the bounty hunters, but ultimately proves that Mandalorians are his people. He’s now committed to the child.

For movie 2, we’ve got a theme of two ex-Mandalorians/ex-Bounty Hunters trying to find their homes after changes, and almost bumping into each other. We begin with Boba’s flashback to tolerance from the Tuskens, then intercut with Mando finding peace on the wetlands planet. I’d play down some of the Boba flashbacks now, and play up the wetlands - probably including the fight there in this context (where it’s not a bridge between Mando’s next job). Mando is forced to move on, as is Boba, and they nearly meet. But then the following content feels a little too focused on Boba once Mando’s out of the picture, and I felt like the conclusion (Boba and the sarlacc pit) wasn’t super punchy.

BUT, IDEA: What if we keep Mando on Tattoine, using content from episode 9, where he’s looking for other Mandos. That way, Boba’s getting set up with Fennec, getting his ship back, wondering about his armour, while Mando remains in play, meeting Cobb Vanth, looking for other Mandos, fighting a Krayt dragon, and FINDING BOBA’S ARMOUR. That way, the episode can end on Boba spotting Mando, finally setting them on a collision course. With this, you’d need to remove the ‘looking for Mandos to find a Jedi’ plot, but he’s seeking them sensibly enough anyway at this point. Then your third movie can focus on bringing the Imperials back into the conflict, skipping Tattooine.

I’d perhaps structure that as follows:

  • Open on Boba flashback, hand raises through sand, armour stolen, taken in by Tuskens, hunting for water pods, fighting off sand beast, earning respect in the tribe. Cut gaffi training scene. 20 mins elapsed. Cut to-
  • FIVE YEARS LATER -
  • Mando arrives on Sorgan. Meets Cara Dune. Finds lodging with Omera. Peace.
  • Tuskens have taken Boba to scout Pyke train. Boba gets bikes from Tosche station, they raid the train. Boba is induced and given Tusken robes. (Issue: He was wearing shitty rags for five years? Or maybe we just don’t acknowledge the five year cut, and just intercut these without implying they’re at the same time?) This content might need a trim for pacing as it’s another 20 mins - maybe we skip Tosche station?
  • Mando spots raider tracks, trains the people of Sorgan, they defend their new home.
  • Boba threatens the Pykes.
  • Sorgan defense wrap-up and peace.
  • Boba returns to his home to find it burned.
  • Mando finds that he’s still being tracked, realises he has to leave. [Having seen Boba’s people killed, we feel the potential cost if he were to stay.
  • Boba wanders the desert.
  • Mando’s over Tattooine, looking for his people. Meets Pelli Motto. Dialogue suggests “I’m here to find Mandalorians, BUT FIRST I need a job to pay for ship repairs.” Mando episode 5 plays out.
  • Boba discovers Fennec.
  • Mando returns to Pelli, and kicks off Mando episode 9, chasing rumours of Mandalorians.
  • Intercut with Boba and Fennec recovering Boba’s ship, and maybe include the Sarlacc stuff (though it’s a bit weird).
  • Cobb Vanth fills in the details on Boba’s armour’s backstory, gives it to Mando. But Cobb was a false lead, and Mando’s still being pursued.
  • Endings: Boba watches Mando, setting up their conflict. Mando, in space, gets the opportunity from Greef to stop getting pursued. And finally, at night, Boba tells Fennec this episode’s mission statement: “You can’t get far without a tribe.”

Then, just to balance your movie #3, you could potentially replace the removed Ep9 content with Ep12 The Siege from your movie #4, now that Nevarro is liberated? Though that might require the implied timeskip to be preserved.

Just trying to preserve as much as possible whilst maximising the thematic links and finding traditional movie arc structures…

Post
#1509651
Topic
(The Mandalorian+Boba) The Way of Mandalore | A Compilation Edit (Completed: Out Now)
Time

Also, I agree with Tangelo about peppering in scenes of Mando missing Grogu. Ideally, a shot where Mando ponders Grogu’s beloved orb? So in one movie we see Grogu wanting the orb, Mando giving it as a distraction, Mando pondering the orb as a representation of Grogu, then finally when they’re together it’s a natural gift to mark their relationship.

Post
#1509649
Topic
(The Mandalorian+Boba) The Way of Mandalore | A Compilation Edit (Completed: Out Now)
Time

Acbagel said:

EddieDean said:

Now, that’s interesting. I don’t think the wetlands planet would make a good ending - episode 3 would be strongest this way - BUT you could use the wetlands content as the Mando opening in your second movie. Boba’s with tuskens thinking he’s found his people, Mando’s with the wetlanders wondering if he can find peace. Boba’s tusken family is killed, Mando gets tracked and has to leave his wetlanders. That segues nicely into Mando being pursued by the bounty hunter onto Tattooine, before the Fennec storyline overlap. Gives us a bit of a break from too much Boba/desert too.

It would also nicely set up movie 2’s conclusion - an opportunity to finally stop being pursued, which we’ve now seen happen to him heavily emphasised in one movie.

I truly hate that you’re right about this haha. It all does make a lot of sense narratively on paper at least… The idea just smacked me while reading the back and forths above and now I can’t get it out of my head as a superior structure. Someone please persuade me otherwise! I feel I am doomed to try this out now.

Edit:

Ah but wait! This means you wouldn’t be able to use wetlands to close out the flashback content. Ach!

True. However, I was thinking perhaps I’d start to bring the flashbacks into play when Din sees Grogu’s carrier in the trash (the event that now changes him as a man). He looks at that destroyed carrier and remembers himself as a helpless kid until someone had to come and rescue him too. A Mandalorian had to rescue him.

Oh God Damn that’s an amazing alternative idea. He returns to Navarro, sees the discarded carrier, remembers his own vulnerability and saving, and he’s back on. He’s becoming what he needed as a child. Incredible.

Is there a clean way to imply that the prison break job is a regular guild affair?

Post
#1509636
Topic
(The Mandalorian+Boba) The Way of Mandalore | A Compilation Edit (Completed: Out Now)
Time

Now, that’s interesting. I don’t think the wetlands planet would make a good ending - episode 3 would be strongest this way - BUT you could use the wetlands content as the Mando opening in your second movie. Boba’s with tuskens thinking he’s found his people, Mando’s with the wetlanders wondering if he can find peace. Boba’s tusken family is killed, Mando gets tracked and has to leave his wetlanders. That segues nicely into Mando being pursued by the bounty hunter onto Tattooine, before the Fennec storyline overlap. Gives us a bit of a break from too much Boba/desert too.

It would also nicely set up movie 2’s conclusion - an opportunity to finally stop being pursued, which we’ve now seen happen to him heavily emphasised in one movie.

Edit:

Ah but wait! This means you wouldn’t be able to use wetlands to close out the flashback content. Ach!

Post
#1509593
Topic
(The Mandalorian+Boba) The Way of Mandalore | A Compilation Edit (Completed: Out Now)
Time

tangelo1023 said:

My only narrative issue was that it did seem like two arcs joined together.

It does, but I think that’s a fair price to pay for including as much good ‘episodic’ content as possible. That’s why I think that the wetlands planet works well as a bridge, and its bridginess could be enhanced by it becoming more of a short world-building interlude via the full Mando childhood flashback. There’s a place in the dialogue where it’d fit neatly, and that’d help the viewer recognise ‘Oh there’s more to see here’ even as the story’s implying that things are quieting down, before the twist that he’s still being tracked.

It could be smoothed a little more by Mando receiving a call (over the radio, cribbed from existing dialogue) from the guy who gives him the prison break job, before he goes to the wetlands planet, which he then rejects (button press graphic, radio cuts off), before explaining to Baby Yoda “we’ll lay low in the wetlands”. Any kind of line saying “Got a job for you” or “No questions asked”, or whatever, passed through a radio filter. That might set up that plot earlier (again making the whole more cohesive) and make his appearance there later feel like more of a resentful acceptance.

Anyway, Acbagel, I would advocate for seeing a shorter wetlands planet, perhaps with less of the complications of settling there, and more just getting pretty quickly into settling down. The montage is lovely (let time pass) though I wouldn’t have Mando teach them anything about weapons. I wouldn’t say the content was boring, but a trim could make this long stay more of a shorter worldbuild/setup for the viewer. The core of it is that Mando is tempted by peace, intends to leave Grogu there, then discovers he’s being tracked even out here.

Thinking about Mando flashbacks, I think there’s a clean way to get that extra narrative beat in at the wetlands, whilst avoiding some of the challenges of technical unpicking:

  • Pauldron scene: Scene begins, tools are revealed, forge is turned on, “the excess will spawn so many foundlings”, hammer comes down - leave on a nice long hammer ring sound, cut to Mando in space, and the over-the-shoulder shot of his new shiny pauldron. Nothing to unpick. Maybe include the shot of the Armorer holding up the new pauldron, if the transition needs it.
  • Full armour scene: Play in full. Partial flashbacks intercut with forging. Not too much flashback context. This is now setup for the full scene later.
  • Wetlands wife scene: “I wasn’t much older than they are…” cut to full scene from s01e08. Cut back. “You haven’t shown your face to anyone since you were a kid?” then use mixed dialogue from both this scene and s01e08’s post-flashback scenes: “No. My parents were killed. I was a foundling. The Mandalorians took care of me. I was happy that they took me in. When I came of age, I was sworn to the creed.” “I’m sorry.” “This is the way.”

So, while the “plot” beats of this movie end up being a little ‘sequence of events’, the real narrative is focused on “Who is the Mandalorian?” He’s a man torn between a job and a creed, we’re not sure if he’s good or bad, and we un-peel the layers as the movie goes, and as we build his relationship with Grogu throughout, ending of course on the lovely ball moment. But it’s for this reason that I’d include the tag showing that he didn’t kill even those who betrayed him. “Who is the Mandalorian?” A warrior, but one who shows mercy. That’s a nice beat, and a compelling end to a movie focused on introducing his character.

Post
#1509465
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused (v1.5) [100%] - All core episodes COMPLETE! + Thoughts on the new TALES OF THE JEDI
Time

They’re not part of this project, but they’re definitely worthy additions to the canon. There was a clone wars arc focused on the Bad Batch, the penultimate arc of the series, which is a soft pilot for that series. But it’s not vital- all the main beats are covered by the pilot episode of Bad Batch. It doesn’t belong in my edit as it distracts us from the core plot a key moment when we need to preserve momentum to the finale, but I will eventually cut it as an episode zero of that show.

Clone Wars was always the show that needed the most work, in my opinion, and I think it’s in a much better state for accessible consumption now, without missing any of the core. The other two are a little inconsistent, oddly paced, and a little childish, but they don’t swing in quality quite as much as TCW so they are ultimately less painful.

But yes, Bad Batch, and Rebels (which follows many Clone Wars threads) are worthy additions to the canon.

g00b has a Rebels edit which seeks to satisfy many of those goals, and Acbagel a Bad Batch edit planned. I intend to support and review both edits one day, though TCW (and rest!) are a priority for now.