Bored at 3AM

Legend of Zorro has the misfortune of trying and failing to recapture whatever magic made Mask of Zorro a straight-up classic of swashbuckling movies. That said, the actors are still great, a lot of the action is fun, and the film has a pretty good set-up and finale, but the second act is just a slog of Alejandro and Elena endlessly bickering with one another because the plot requires them to be apart for another hour. So, I’ve chopped out that hour of pointless plate-spinning, leaving us with a movie that gets to the good stuff much faster.

It will be in the same folder as my other edits, or if you don’t have the link already, please send me a PM. As usual, this was created for my ESL students so there are hardcoded English subtitles and an ESL reader adaptation of both Mask of Zorro and Legend of Zorro is also included.

I’d only made these shorts as a fun little bonus for my students but, when I mentioned them as part of my edit of The Rock’s Hercules, these two ended up getting much more interest than the movie-length edit did.

So I figured I’ll just release these as their own thing. Be aware that neither of these short films are complete narratives on their own. They’re just supplemental material meant to go with the ESL reader adaptations of Andromeda & Perseus, Crimes of Alcmena, and Hercules that are included with the videos.

Clash of the Titans: Andromeda and Perseus is a mere 20 minutes, covering the broad strokes of that myth from King Acrisius’ attempted murder of his daughter Danae and her infant son, the catastrophic destruction caused by the Kraken, the battle with Medusa, and the climactic rescue of Andromeda. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about an Ethiopian princess consistently being portrayed as a blonde white girl by Hollywood. She’s absolutely African in the book though and Ethiopia is depicted as the proto-Wakanda the ancient Greeks believed it was.

The Legend of Herakles is a half hour cut of the best bits of Renny Harlin’s movie, with much of the weak sauce 300/Gladiator/Troy rehashes removed. It’s got very little to do with the myths themselves, but Scott Adkins is clearly having a ball and Kellan Lutz is suitably Herculean as long as he isn’t asked to do more than look cool in action scenes.

Please send me a PM for the link or, if I’ve given you one before, it’s the same folder as all my other edits.

No, it’s still very much not a PG-13 movie 😉

Troy may not be the best adaptation of the Trojan War myth, but it’s certainly the best movie version of it that we’ve got so far. Let’s hope that Nolan’s Odyssey gives us something great, but presumably the story of Achilles, Hector, Helen and Paris won’t take up too much screen time.

I think most of this film works pretty well and the choice to keep the gods off-screen was a smart way to ground the story and helped keep an already sprawling epic short enough to be a movie. Removing characters like Diomedes, Penthesilea, and Memnon was probably for the best, although I do miss Cassandra.

This edit makes two small, but important changes that I think benefit Helen and Menelaus greatly. The first is removing the notion that Helen was sent to Sparta when she was 16 and sold as a bride. In the original Greek myths, Helen was the Queen of Sparta and everyone was competing for her because they would inherit one of the strongest armies of Greece. The cut isn’t as elegant as I’d like, but it’s the best I can do with my meager skills and the available footage. The second change is the quick bit of dialogue where Menelaus tells his brother that he can attack the Trojans after he kills Paris. He’s not supposed to be a great guy, or a great husband, but he is meant to be a man of honor. That pushes him too far into mustache-twirling villainy for my tastes.

As usual, this is for my ESL students so it has hardcoded English subtitles. If that bothers you, you’re welcome to enjoy the Director’s Cut and plug your ears at those two specific scenes.

Please send me a PM for the link or, if I’ve given you one before, it’s the same folder as all my other edits.

You might have to wait awhile for that, but I’ll see what I can do.

I’ve managed to get this an even brisker 1 hour 8 minutes. It’s still more leaden than I’d like, but it’s better. PM me for the link or, if I’ve already given you one, you’ll find it there. Only the movie with hardcoded English subtitles is available now.

I’ve also added a stripped-to-the-bone edit of Renny Harlin’s Legend of Hercules that’s a mere half hour. I put it on while I was trying to sleep on a long flight last year and, while most of it is subpar 300/Gladiator/Troy knockoffs, there are a handful of fun scenes in there. So, I’ve tossed out everything but the barest essentials of a plot and left you with some pretty fun action sequences that made me sit up in my seat and pay attention because they were…well…kewl.

Similarly quick edits of Dwayne Johnson’s bigger budget, but similarly dull, Hercules will be included later on, as will edits of Clash of the Titans and, possibly, Troy.

Doctor M said:

I’m confused. The movie was still released before the final comic so the endings didn’t match up.
Also, there was an animated short that filled in a missing segment from the comics. Be nice to see that edited in to the movie.

I could be wrong, but, as I heard it, after they’d filmed the original ending, Bryan Lee O’Malley told them what his ending in the comic was going to be, so they reshot it to be closer to what he was doing.

I like the movie exactly how it is, so I won’t be making any edits to it, but you’re welcome to make one yourself. I’d certainly check it out.

Tarsem Singh Dwandwar’s films are always visually stunning, but often dramatically underwhelming for me. His 2011 Greek Mythology epic Immortals has some of the best depictions of the sheer power and otherworldliness of the Olympian Gods and the Titans, but the story itself drags too much at the beginning and suffers from some weak villains whose stories aren’t particularly compelling to me.

I’ve trimmed the first act of the film so that action gets going much earlier by cutting the entirety of the castrated traitor subplot and a few other bits here and there. Mickey Rourke’s King Hyperion works better in much, much smaller doses, so he’s used more sparingly.

The whole movie now clocks in at a lean 1 hour 30 minutes. I’ve included two versions of the film, one with hardcoded English subtitles for my ESL students and another without subtitles. I’ve also included my ‘Heroes of Olympus’ readers that retell the stories of Greek Mythology in a new way to better connect with modern audiences. Please PM me if you’d like a link (or just check the same link if I’ve given you one before).

This is a story about the tension that exists between science, faith, and politics. I loved how both the book and the movie handled all those ideas… until the end when it tips the scales a little too far for my liking by giving the reader/audience more information that robs the story of the ambiguity that I think makes Ellie’s decision at the end so powerful. So, I’ve snipped out the scene between James Woods and Angela Bassett that gives the audience specific information that Ellie does not, thereby forcing the audience to make up their own minds about what she did, or didn’t, experience.

Please send me a PM if you’d like a link (it’s the same link if I’ve given you one before). As always, an ESL reader adaptation will be included and there are also English subtitles as this is primarily created for my students.

Edgar Wright’s Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is not only a great movie, but it’s also incredibly faithful to Bryan Lee O’Malley’s brilliant comic. That said, the running time of the 2 hour film was far too short to adapt the entirety of the six volumes of the comic. What I’ve done is edit down the comic to more closely resemble the movie. Obviously, some things are still different, but this is as close as I could get it. Please PM me if you’d like to check out the comic. I’ll also include the original ending of the movie which was filmed prior to the release of volume six of the comic.

JoyOfEditing said:

Thanks Buddy! If there’s any topic in particular you want me to cover lemme know. I’ve got the next several episodes planned out, but I’d love to know what some of y’all are most interested in seeing.

cough Han in Return of the Jedi cough 😃

These, and RotJ, are the episodes I’ve been waiting for. My students adore Star Wars in all it’s many forms but there’s a 30ish minute section on Tattooine at the start of A New Hope where I can always see my students’s ADHD attention spans begin to chaff under the relatively slower pace of cutting edge 1970s editing.

#@&* yeah! I’ll be eagerly waiting to devour this one.

If anyone is having problems finding a specific edit I’ve mention, I might be able to help you, but please try to contact the editors themselves first. Like I said, I’m just providing the readers and a handful of edits tailored to some of them.

This project is something I’ve been using with my ESL students for a few years now, and the positive response to my similar Blade Runner/Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Film/Book hybrid has prompted me to make this publicly available as well.

Also, as the 007 franchise is changing hands from the Broccoli family to whatever Amazon’s corporate stewardship might bring, this feels like a good time to celebrate the many wonderful fan edits our community has produced from the Bond films.

This is an alternate version of the Ian Fleming/EON James Bond series of books and films that mixes and matches elements of both into a more complete version that hopefully creates something new and interesting for modern audiences who might be interested in the original character within the time period from which he was created, the Cold War.

The series spans the character’s first becoming 007 in 1951’s Casino Royale to his final mission in No Time to Die (which has now been retrofitted to take place in 1975). Some of the readers are straight up adaptations of the books and/or films, while others are mash-ups of existing material. Some of the readers have their own reader-specific movie edits for them that I’ll include in the link, whereas others can be enjoyed with particular fan edits or the theatrical cuts.

The breakdown is as follows, the strongest and/or most essential material will be marked with a ***

***#1 CASINO ROYALE (1951)
The reader is a combination of the original Fleming novel with the 2008 film adaptation and its sequel ‘Quantum of Solace’, which is very much an epilogue to that story. Both of the original films can be watched with this reader without any need for a fan edit, although I’m sure there are plenty of edits of both either combined or apart you can use.

#2 LIVE AND LET DIE (1952)
This reader blends some elements of the film with the original Fleming novel. I’d pair this reader with the excellent fan edit ‘Love and Let Die: You Know My Name’ by Lapis Molari, which includes subtitles.

***#3 MOONRAKER (1953)
This is one of the best Fleming 007 novels and the reader adaptation stays relatively faithful to it, but unfortunately, the movie version bears so little resemblance to the book that I’d suggest reading this one on its own. If you really want a film to go with it, you could try pairing it with Last Survivor’s ‘Icarus’, but it doesn’t have subtitles. EON’s Moonraker has several fine fan edits, but, again, they bear little resemblance to Fleming’s story aside from a few bits and pieces.

#4 PROPERTY OF A LADY (1954)
This one is still a work in progress. It’s an attempt to repurpose Madeline Swan’s childhood flashback from ‘No Time to Die’ as part of Tracy Draco’s backstory instead, in addition to finding a place for Max Zorin and Mayday, who are great villains stuck in an underwhelming movie.

#5 DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1954)
This is one of the weaker novels and films. Honestly, I would skip both, but completionists can enjoy them if they’d like. There are a few different fan edits of the film, but I haven’t watched any of them yet.

***#6 FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1955)
One of the best novels and films. I’d suggest pairing this with ParanoidAndroid’s superb ‘From Russia With Love: Excess Excised’ edit, which includes English subtitles.

#7 DR NO (1956)
This novel isn’t one of my favorites, nor is the film but, for completionists, I’d pair this with The Scraggler’s trimmed down edit if you don’t need subtitles.

#8 GOLDFINGER (1957)
I don’t hold either the book or film in as high a regard as many do, but, for completionists, this would again pair nicely with The Scraggler’s trimmed down edit if you don’t need subtitles.

#9 FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1958)
In an ideal world, this would have starred a young Timothy Dalton as his 007 debut. This is skippable, but completionists can pair it with nostromo777’s edit, but, again, it has no subtitles. The theatrical cut is decent enough, even if the disco music soundtrack is an odd fit for the film itself.

***#10 THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (1959)
This is a short film that mixes the prologue and opening scene of the film adaptation with the Fleming short story. I like this one a lot and is easily Dalton’s best work as 007 for me.

***#11 A VIEW TO A KILL (1960)
This is essentially just GoldenEye’s prologue given the name of one of Fleming’s short stories. It’s a fun little side adventure that will get a proper follow up later in the series.

***#12 ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE (1961)
This is one of the best Fleming books and also one of EON’s best films. If you don’t need subtitles, I recommend pairing this with Last Survivor’s award-winning fan edit, or you can use my trimmed down edit included with the readers that mixes LS cut with the theatrical version.

***#13 YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1962)
The film adaptation came too early for this one to really have the emotional impact that Fleming’s novel does, but the reader does incorporate some aspects of the film with the book. An edit with the bits from the movie that are in the reader is included, but it isn’t a complete story, but just a video supplement to the reader. If you don’t need subtitles, you could pair it with Last Survivor’s edit though.

***#14 THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (1964)
This reader combines the best parts of the Fleming novel with the EON film to create a more satisfying story in my opinion. A heavily trimmed down version of the movie scenes that are used in the reader is included with subtitles.

#15 SKYFALL (1968)
You can pair this reader nicely with the film. The only change here is the idea that this is the original M’s death rather than the one played by Judy Dench, who is introduced in the next reader.

#16 GOLDENEYE (1969)
This continues the story begun in A View to a Kill. You can pair this with the great edit by PoorAndin that replaces that awful music from the original. This edit includes subtitles.

#17 THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (1971)
The embarrassing Fleming novel is tossed completely in favor of a brisk adaptation of the fun EON film. Inessential, but well worth a watch if you haven’t seen it. Arguably Moore’s best overall film.

***#18 OCTOPUSSY (1972)
This repurposes two scenes from the film adaptation and merges it with the Fleming short story, making for a fun little side adventure that bids farewell to Roger Moore’s 007. This short film is included with the readers.

***#19 THUNDERBALL - NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (1973)
This is a combination of the screenplay/novel by Fleming & McClory with the film adaptations, but it leans more heavily on Never Say Never Again to give a proper send-off to Sean Connery’s 007. The World of James Bond’s lovingly-made EON cut of the film would be the best pairing with this reader, but as it doesn’t have subtitles, I’ve included a trimmed down version of it that mixes their edit and the theatrical cut with subtitles. Since the 3rd act of NSNA is pretty underwhelming, I’ve also included the final part of Thunderball from Lapis Molari’s wonderful Kiss Kiss Bang Bang cut as an alternative ending. Just squint and pretend Connery is 20 years older, and Kim and Klaus have magically become Auger and Celi 😉

#20 NO TIME TO DIE (1975)
Like with Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, this is a combination of Spectre with No Time to Die. If you don’t need subtitles, I’d recommend pairing this reader with BroomKid/StraightCutsNoChaser’s Spectre edit. I’ve also included a major reworking of Spectre and No Time to Die as a two part movie that is heavily indebted to his excellent edit. I don’t think No Time to Die is necessarily the strongest ending for the character, but it’s the best we’ve got at the moment.

If anyone has a 007 fan edit they’d like to recommend be added to this list, please let me know and I’ll revise this post. I’d love for this to bring more attention to the great work done by fan editors on these films.

I will be giving out links to the readers and the selected movie edits through Private Messages.

I know this edit is going to have a microscopically small audience, but I figured I might as well make it available for anyone who might be interested. And if it brings some more attention to Wakeupkeo’s excellent ‘Good Guy Deckard’ cut of Blade Runner, great. Keo’s edit is the basis for my own, which is a heavily trimmed down version of the film that I use in conjunction with an ESL adaptation of ‘Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?’ that’s been tweaked to include more of the film’s most iconic elements. This cut is a mere 1hr 10min, so it skips over a lot of stuff. There’s also great parts of the book that I can’t show because they were never included in the film like the idea that Rachel and Pris were the same ‘model’ so Rick is essentially killing the woman he loves when he faces her. There’s also a sequence in another police precinct that is fantastic.

This is primarily for my ESL students so it has hardcoded English subtitles, as will any further edits I might release in the future. It’s much easier to edit that way. If that’s a deal breaker for you, please enjoy the plethora of other fan edits available out there. The hybrid Blade Runner/Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Reader is also included if you’re interested.

Please contact me through private message if you’d like a link.

Jamilion said:

Awesome, thank you, I grabbed the full movie length cut. Thanks for doing that!

My pleasure. I’d only cut it into pieces so I could have TurboScribe generate subtitles for it, but since those turned out pretty badly, there was no reason to keep it from being movie length anymore.

I’ve uploaded a new cut of the film. One with English subtitles, one without. This edit is about five minutes shorter based upon feedback I’ve gotten from my students and other viewers.

Jamilion said:

Sure thing, I’ll give it a shot when I have a moment.

I’ve uploaded a movie length cut without subtitles.

A new cut of the film with hardcoded subtitles is coming, that will be even shorter as I found more bits and pieces to snip in order to keep the pace up.

I was unsatisfied with the quality of the AI generated subtitles so I’ve rebuilt this edit from scratch with English subtitles hardcoded onto the screen. The original edit without subtitles is also still available.

I was unsatisfied with the quality of the AI generated subtitles so I’ve rebuilt this edit from scratch with English subtitles hardcoded onto the screen. The original ‘episodes’ without subtitles are also still available.

100% agreed on the subtitles. Creating subtitles for fan edits is a gigantic pain. I’ll be rebuilding this edit from scratch with English subtitles hardcoded to make things easier this time. AI transcription still has a long way to go.

I also had that damned ‘hero’ theme stuck in head for a week after recutting that hospital scene. Trust me, no one is more sick of it than me. 😉

I’d love if someone with VFX skills could add blood to Alex’s death.

I’ve got no problem with the meteor shower so it’ll be staying. That shot of them running away from the giant meteor on the catwalk is too great to lose.

The weird relationship between Reinhardt and Maximilian is also something I’d never mess with. It’s part of the film’s charm to me.

Thanks for the feedback though! It’s appreciated.

Now that I’ve gotten the blessing of both editors whose work I’m using, this project is ready to see the light of day. This is a reshuffling of Superman Returns incorporating ITHoTMK’s Superman Restored, Tomahawk’s Superman Returned, and the theatrical cut. I’ve removed the idea that Superman left Earth without telling anyone. Everyone saw the same news reports about a message from possible survivors from Krypton, but the trip into space was meant to last a few months, not years. I’ve also taken out any implication that Lois lied to Richard about being Jason’s father. They got together after Jason was already born and Lois had given up hope that Superman was ever coming back. Beyond that, the intent of this edit is to get the story started with a bang, and compensate for the sometimes languid pace by breaking it up into a miniseries of five ‘episodes’ of about 20 to 30 minutes each.

There are English subtitles included. If you’d like to check it out, please send me a private message. If you’ve already watched any of my previous edits, the link is the same.

All the ‘episodes’ should stitch together perfectly if you make a playlist with them. I use them in my ESL classes so I don’t really need a full length movie cut. Also, the subtitle files are synched to the episodes.