4throck

Thanks for the comments.
Yes, the Banthas are moving. Search YouTube for Star Wars greenscreen and you will find those elements.
I’m OK with reusing stuff from the net because this is a personal project. I’m just sharing ideas.

Here’s a small enhancement to the Droids walking up to Jabba’s palace. Extended the sky and added two moons, some digital zoom out and panning. It’s more alien and dynamic this way:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1UratW2yTqsfntJrYQVnLWoAHff7ssAfe

IlFanEditore said:
Does anyone have suggestions?

That’s a brilliant clip, great pacing and just the right amount of dialog. Music is spot on too.
But the background noise on the voices breaks it. So you might be forced to stay with Obi-wan and Mace a bit longer just because of that. It’s very hard to remove that background noise…

But showing them more will make it harder to change the dialog… Anyway, perhaps you can find some usable dialog in games ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lxFz6lguyU

The base for the sunset scene is this image:
https://www.deviantart.com/menyhei/art/Hutt-Castle-on-Tatooine-514111819
I then composited the other elements.

There are many excellent images that can replace or improve the original mattes.
Battlefront II concept artwork for example:
https://timmcleod.artstation.com/projects/exxmP
I used this to complement the cave exterior matte.

I’m yet to find good replacements for Dagobah… and it really needs something better there.

I’ll share more stuff latter 😉

I’ve been playing with ROTJ and I’d like to share my fixes & changes. I hope they are useful as inspiration for others. As always, edits are very personal, so people are free to like or dislike.
Just sharing this because it might help others with their projects, and of course I might get some nice ideas for my own 😉
 

So here’s the CAVE SCENE with some editing and color correction:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=101ahjqIwIge_VZGFzIg_1j9JS3mpBAlH

Main changes:

• blurred and changed the color of the cave background behind Luke,
• new the cave exterior mattes (based on material from the web)
   

Here’s a small enhancement to the Droids WALKING TO JABBA’S PALACE:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1UratW2yTqsfntJrYQVnLWoAHff7ssAfe

Main changes:

• Extended the sky and added two moons
• Some digital zoom out and panning.
   

SUNSET at Jabba’s palace:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1v20BEOzV7JQNe525E4YbnviwyajWlL7A

• I’m using a background and Banthas I found on the web, with some stock dust footage.
   

DESERT BARGE:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1t-aN1VX6FNJ7jJj8cegrMkQhRCX3N9rQ

• added slight camera movement to imply motion. Improves green-screen a lot (Han and Luke)
• fixed flipped Leia and Jabba shot
   

Here’s a rough GROUND BATTLE sequence:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1-l1lu02ANcqcoiptLZs9F2BOPL8vBX1n

This needs better sound editing, but it’s good enough to get the idea of how it could work.
Of course, you would be cutting away from this to the space battle and throne room.
Extra footage comes from the Ewoks movies and the Bucketheads fan film. Explosion shots are from TFA.
Also using the “bunker redux” reedit by section33.

Just ideas that might be useful for others. I’ll share more over time.

IsanRido said:
Also, not sure if I’d consider this radical, but I’d open Return of the Jedi with the Emperor’s arrival. Seeing Luke’s introduction as a shadowy cloacked figure would be an interesting paralell if we already met Palpatine by that point in the film. And naturally, it would get rid of the uneventful “Permission to land” opening.

You can just use the opening as is and have the Emperor arrive instead of Vader. And for extra cloaked figures you can cut from the Emperor to Luke’s deleted cave scene.

Your comments are fine and you understood perfectly!
I just wanted to show you another possibility, that requires less dubbing and might be easier for you.
But you should do it as you like, it’s your show!

That being said, on the 1st scene I’d change the talk about “is she seeing someone”.
First, it’s just odd to go from crying for his Mother to talking about girls!
Second Obi-wan would not have such a direct conversation about a Senator they are protecting.

So I suggest you make the conversation more indirect and about attachments in general.
Perhaps have Anakin mention that he never had a relationship and question the Jedi a bit.
He is sad and lost at this point, but not romantic.

Romance only comes latter on, when he starts to feel happy around Padmé.
The transporter scene is again about attachments and the Jedi, only that now Anakin is happy.
If you must include it, stress that by having him say something like “The code forbids many things, but I’m happy that they gave me this mission”. And with “this mission” they exchange looks…

The last season 2 episode of Star Trek Discovery has a usable replacement shot for the Golden Gate bridge, complete with a transporter flying.

I understand your objective, but whatever direction you go, you can do it with much less dialog, and that will help with dubbing.

For example, it’s enough to keep Obiwan’s lines about being worried for Anakin and his attachments.
This enhances the impact of his mother’s sub-plot and the role of the Emperor.
Anakin is flawed, but his flaws are human. I like him this way.

Here’s how I edited (WIP) the first scene:
https://we.tl/t-Po9YvQL5yG

The dialog is only about his dreams and mother, Obi-Wan acts as a mentor and friend.
The delivery could be better, so there’s room for dubbing. But you don’t need much.
After the bugs, I go straight for the foot chase and I’ve trimmed the dialog at the Bar’s entrance.
Again, Obi-Wan acts as a mentor, and Anakin is just worried and lost, not confrontational or arrogant.

IlFanEditore said:

Final duel clip.

At around 1:45 you jump cut from Doku with his back to us to Doku facing us…
Really stands out 😉

I don’t have a problem with the Yoda fight, as long as you trim the wild jumping.

I like your efforts but for me it was a bit off.
Anakin is still creepy and you focus too much on him. I think AOTC works better if you focus on Padme and Obiwan.
He is not that important on this movie. Let Anakin be a secondary and remove as much dialog and awkwardness as possible.

Padmé is the lead, and their relationship only works if she’s calling the shots. This is in line with the way she takes lead once they get to Naboo.
So make her talk first and end the scenes as much on her as possible. You will see that it works.

Don’t be afraid to cut stuff.
The first scene works better with no covered camera talk and just distant indistinct talk instead of “does she have a boyfriend”. Cut that and the pacing is better, with the awkwardness gone.
(I have a cut of this scene I can share if you wish, don’t want to hijack your thread)

Also, I’d cut the transport scene completely and use the extended arrival scene instead.

But keep at it, I like what you are doing, just my 2 cents.

Just remove the aerial chase part and keep the rest.
The only problem is how to they know who fired ? You need a shot of Obi-wan looking out of the window, but other than that, foot-chase only will work.

And please remove the “you’d be the death of me” line along with the multiple “yes master”. That delivery is just bad.

I like it but it does feel rushed.
If a scene doesn’t work, it’s better not to have it at all.
I’d drop the suitcase packing scene for example. Much better Anakin and Padme scenes latter on in the movie.
The less Anakin talks, the better and more in character. Vader doesn’t talk that much 😉

Here’s something I’m playing with.

Anakin crying when he decides to help his mother:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1wrfhfxZCz_XN6eqXLEJplWoonB0dnjVm

Anakin’s mother is already dead:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=13tiQ2TXGr5hgvq75oQVwQtTAqZuP14zq

Just playing around and sharing ideas 😃

Interesting finds! The new Palace also matches the Emperor’s landing craft better.
But who’s landing on Geidi Prime then? The Mentat bringing Leto’s message?

The Fremen Sietch model will work, I like that weird design from Krull.

I’d like to see your results, please share them someday 😉

😃

I understand what you suggest, it’s symbolic and not easy to do.
I can try just images of the elements, that might work.

I Googled the elements and traditionally you only have 5.
Perhaps the Emperor has no Element at all?

You should see the mini series. Very low budget, odd accents, but very faithful to the book. The only real letdown is the bad CGI… 1984 models do look better.

Here’s the intro with added images as she speaks. For the sake of discussion give it a look 😃
The navigator’s “seeing eye” part does work, the rest adds little.
Still, it gives good information without being a awkward narration.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=18vu_lQXi6FBLDcKQ9g_vc-nXcTTPfbM5

I’ll move on to the “guild report” and see what comes out of it.

Yes, the sets are from the miniseries.

Tried that variation of the intro showing the guild, navigators, emperor and it’s a bit confusing.
You see many images with no context and tend to disregard the words.
On the other hand it does feel something Lynch might do.
Will work on it a bit more and share it latter.

Thinking a bit about the Guild report segment.
It’s logical to have Paul’s voice. Atreides intelligence might have intercepted the “secret report within the guild”. And that’s what he’s reading on his pad.
Makes sense to show it after the navigator’s visit to the emperor. It provides a better explanation to what’s happening and also a reason for the Paul x Gurney fight scene. The Atreides are aware of something.

snooker said:
Obi-Wan, after speaking with Jango, goes to report his findings to the council:

It’s confusing. He starts speaking with the council while walking out?

Perhaps you can show the antenna going up as soon as he walks out, that would make things faster but still be realistic.
Then show the council being slow and showing inaction. Trim the dialog, but let the reaction shots play.
Obi-wan is fast paced, the council is slow and inactive.

The voice is a bit off, perhaps you can try just having new lines for Mace.
Obi-wan only need a reaction shot and a single sentence, perhaps you can source that from another movie.

The best approach would be the same as they did for TNG, with re-composited effects.
For TNG they improved the light passes a bit, and I guess they corrected small model defects.

But it looks seamless and much better than 2000’s CGI.
For Star Wars it would look great and still have the 1977 feel.

Ronster said:

Prophecy Intro - (Water Droplets)

This is not a bad guess at how it was set up originally before the Virginia Madsen intro was filmed.

I’ve never seen the story book, thanks for the info.

Indeed, instead of showing the Reverend Mother right away, I can just keep her voice and show first a montage of water drops, guild ships and spice production.
So we would go from Space to Arrakis to spice, ending on the reverend mother, the Freemen listening and then the hand.

Will do it when possible…

benduwan said:

will this be an extended version with all missing scenes?

Spicedriver’s version adds those scenes already, and it’s great.

The goal here is to try a different radical approach.
We are discussing the deleted scenes as a source for ideas, nothing more.

That’s great info!

Indeed that part is missing from the film and it shows. A second guild report is doable, since we already have one and it only needs static images.

Here’s what I have with the intro linked to Paul’s dream and the first Atreides segment.
Used the water theme to link the segments and it works I think.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1SLsn1g-C1XOcqune3uuvUu4J6dRMG0Zi

I’ve included the two moons effect from the trailer 😉
It’s a rough edit in places but it does go from A to B and provides good explanation.

We know of a secret and a higher power at work, we see that it’s connected to Paul.
But we see this from Paul’s POV, so we dont’ know much.
Also important is Jessica mentioning “it has to be this night” regarding the conception of Alia.

The space opera aspect will come on the next segment (guild + emperor).

I think it’s one of those “you know I know you know” situations.

The guild doesn’t care about the sisterhood knowing.

The visit to the Emperor might even be intentional to let them know 😉
Because right after the visit, the Reverend Mother is prepared to kill Paul.

So they take her to Caladan, no questions asked. It’s in their interest.
I think the secrecy is only not to loose face.

Again interesting ideas. I agree that Dune needs to have better space scenes to introduce the planets.
Star Wars does this very well, the viewer gets oriented with no need for titles.

To show CHOAM we can use some videos from the Emperor - Battle for Dune game.
You can see the Guild and Bene Geserit together discussing things.
They would only work as matte elements. Will try something when I have the time 😉

Ronster said:
You know here is a radical idea… Use Battle Beyond the Stars Ships shots which have been in about 5 films in Dune!

😃 Some of those might work, specially this one:
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNGU3M2FjNTEtZjcxNC00NTNmLWI3N2EtMjBmMDBkYzBiNjgzXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjUyNDk2ODc@.V1.jpg

Really similar to what we already have on Dune…

But the Guild has monopoly on space travel. This is important and we need to show it.
So a similar style for all craft is important.

Thanks again for the great suggestions.
I was thinking of having parts of the princess narration on Paul’s visions.
I’d like to avoid narration at all if possible. I think the story is clear enough if you order the scenes logically.

I suggest this sequence:

» the Prophecy
» Paul at Caladan. No film book, just introduce his training, the Atreides staff and let him have the conversation with the Duke.
» Secret Report within the Guild and the Emperor.
» Paul’s test by the reverend mother

This is very self contained and avoids introducing many places and characters at once.