vote_for_palpatine

"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am. And what does that tell you? Because I'm not a very forgiving person at all! Imagine how much worse he must be."

"You should be worried, Artoo. Master Lando and Chewbacca never returned from this awful place. Which is weird that I say that, because isn't Mistress Leia going to bring Chewbacca here later?"

"Ho ho ho! I have no intention of giving up my favorite decoration. I like Solo where he is. And I plan to install some track lighting above him, with a Roman pillar on each side."

"Uh-oh, that Rancor is headed straight for me! I know! I'll softly lob this skull at the gate control!"

"Han, are you all right?"

"Fine. Together again, huh?"

"Wouldn't miss it!"

"How're we doing?"

"Same as always!"

"That bad, huh?"

(together) "THIRD BASE!"

"I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda, and the arrogance of my youth will undoubtedly be accurately depicted once someone does a movie about it."

"I'm with you too - hey! What's with the silent treatment? Why isn't anyone reacting to me? Remember me, blew up a Death Star? Hel-lo-o?"

"The Force is strong in my family. My father has a lot of midichlorians. I have a lot of midichlorians. And my sister - has a lot of midichlorians."

"Good work, commander. No one - and I mean no one - brings in surrendering Rebels like you do. Just think what would have happened without you there - he might have surrendered to someone else if not for your heroism! We ought to hold a freaking ticker-tape parade on Coruscant for you. 'Hey everybody, look at me, I captured Luke Skywalker! Woooot!' Get out of here, douchebag!"

"A Jedi's weapon - much like a flashlight. You know which ones, the kind with the metal ribbing down the side, like grandma used to have?"

"Chewie - get down here! She's wounded! I need you and your extensive medical training ASAP!"

"Take that, red lightsaber! And that! And that and that and that!!"

"Yeehaaah! Now that we're out of that Death Star tunnel, we're 100% safe! Being outside the structure will protect us from an enormous explosion!"

"YES! We liberated the galaxy! Let's sing a really goofy, half-Ewok half Basic song to celebrate!!"

1. e4 e5

Hey cool, a picture summary of childhood! Here's mine:

Ahhh, the good old days.

I'm glad we came to an understanding, Mr. Frink. Always better to avoid any...unpleasantness.

Link?

1. C-3POs cereal. I bought it as an eight-year old because I was into ROTJ, but man that was some good cereal.

2. Pizza Hut's Priazzo. A pizza the size of a pie.

3. Pizza Hut's Sicilian crust. Pizza is already awesome, but the Sicilian style crust was good enough to make life tolerable.

4. Taco Bell's Santa Fe chalupa/gordita. By far the best chalupa/gordita style TB ever made.

5. www.firejoemorgan.com

6. The Mistubishi 3000 GT. I actually hope they don't bring it back, because the new version will look like crap and ruin the legacy of the old vehicle.

7. The HemisFair Arena. The most brightly lit arena in all the NBA. My Spurs have been freaking awesome since Tim Duncan came around, but I wish their old building was still around. I attended the third-to-last NBA game played in that building.

8. Gamebooks.

9. David Letterman in his NBC years. He's into his crusty self-parody years now, but his NBC show was some of the best TV you've ever seen.

10. Old-school TransFormers (1984-1987). The current ones are way too pointy (thanks, stupid live action movies!).

11. Pre-TPM Star Wars. Back then, the Special Edition was just that and the GFFA was a much, much bigger place filled primarily with fans of the finer points of SW, not just the pretty lightsabers and CGI antics.

12. Quizno's in my town. We used to have two, now we have zero. Sucks for me.

All of you seem to be OK with domesticated hog balls.

To The Right Honorable Threadmaster, TV's Frink:

I have done everything in my power to right my ship. But you place me in an untenable position, sir. You ask the following of me:

Instead, I'm still waiting to hear how your Star Trek post related to Scientology.

The evidence is cut and dried - there is no link to Scientology in my offending posts. I could commit a falsehood and edit the previous posts - is that the kind of thread we all want? Do you want me to attempt to cover-up a crime witnessed by dozens? Others have been placed on PROBATION!!! and resumed contributing to the thread once their debt to the Threadmaster was paid in full. In being asked to fabricate evidence or tell a fantastic tale with dubious (perhaps non-existent) ties to reality, I am held to a different standard. I don't know what to make of this demand.

But...before you place me in the so-called Hall of Shame and go back to reading Science of Survival, you should know that I have a way of finding out things. Lips are loose in this place, Frink, and though you may get your jollies throwing the book at me, your tiny little kingdom will crumble all around you with just one more post. So I suggest we come to an understanding: you let me off the hook now - seeing as I paid my debt in the same manner that others did and have since demonstrated a willingness to follow the rules - or the secret gets out.

And by the way, the $100 and the Shatner pic are off the table.

That is the end of this communication.

Oh, except for this: PENIS!

Because everyone was asking, my name is a meta-textual reference to the idea that a dictatorial Sith would even bother with an election! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, the very idea! Even if elections were held, who else would receive votes?! Oh, what a hoot I am!

From my previous post:

And I have to beg, like L. Ron Hubbard's dog must have done at some point...

And since I now know you are corrupt, $100 and a seldom-seen Shatner autographed pic is headed your way. I also realize quoting myself from a previous post may not hold up for this one, so:

Pictured: L. Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology and owner of dog that had to beg him for some reason 

I was under the impression that PROBATION!!! was meted out to individuals who failed to post an item related to the current topics. After all, this is what happened to me when I neglected to do the same - all while suggesting punishment for another poster. Now xhonzi and ferris commit the same error I did, and yet they skate. And I have to beg, like L. Ron Hubbard's dog must have done at some point, for the good graces of the threadmaster while these two scamper around scot free.

Why is that? Could it be the threadmaster is...CORRUPT!?!?

J'accuse, Frink! Stand down your ill-gotten position at once!!

My count was off, but it had nothing to do with steroids. You know, it's possible to have bacne and small testicles and NOT have steroids, you know!