Hey, Gaffer, welcome to the show! Groin issues aside, how are you?
Welcome back to THE VFP Show!
Tonight's guest has, in five distinguished years, made him/her/its/?self one of the most entertaining and respected posters at OT.com, and during that time has launched a burgeoning YouTube channel, and that five-year anniversary at OT.com actually begins today! Everyone, please give a big hand to everyone's favorite closeted male lesbian, GAFFER TAPE! Gaff!
Bingowings said:
Hola soy la Wilfredo Arandela Estrella de cine de adulto de Rican Puertorriqueña famosa.
Cuando estoy cansado de vibrar en el segundo ciclo de vuelta balanceo la pared en el Soporte de TV.
El Soporte de TV es versátil y no sólo para televisiones.BANG!
No, there's no such thing as a commie spray!
I need a new bandleader.
Anyway, stick around - Gaffer Tape is coming up next!! And later - it's the reunion performance by the inimitable RUNAWAY FIVE! Stay where you are, and we'll be back after this message from tvbracket, the UK's number one brand for tvbrackets!
But yeah, bug spray. I'm at a friend's place and she spots some kind of bug flying around. "Wait here, I've gotta get the bug spray", she says. And she starts rummaging. And she's not the most organized person I've ever known, so I can hear her getting angry. "Do you have a flyswatter?" I ask. And of course she doesn't have one, so I go to where she is.
"It's not here! I spent six bucks on this bug spray I can't even find," she says. What she didn't say is that she's looking for it among a swarm of aerosol cans and spritzer bottles, including air freshner, hair spray, furniture polish, and Windex. Is it even necessary to find the bug spray at this point? It's one bug - any one of these substances will kill the goddamn bug! I mean, I could see if we're on the back porch of a two-acre ranch house, where there's swarms of blood-sucking things all over the place. Sure then, by all means, make with the yard guard. But we're on the second floor of a walk-up - hit it with Pledge! Not only is the thing dead, it's got a beautiful finish.
Bug spray. Almost anything sprayable has ingredients like ammonia, alcohol, acids, all kinds of stuff deadly to insects. If it's in an aerosol can, it's a bug spray.
Thanks guys! Joe!
You know, I'm like so many of you: things weigh on my mind and distract me a little bit throughout my day. I carry these things around all the time. But with a great guest like Gaffer Tape coming up, I think I'd better get this off my chest now. And like so many of you, I'm bothered by - you guessed it - bug spray.
What's that, Joe?
Product placement! Not really! They'll probably be paying us not to show the stuff! Ha ha ha!
And finally -
Huh. Guess you're all anxious to hear from Gaffer.
Anyway, finally - the NBA Finals starts this week; it's the defending champion Los Angeles Lakers versus the previous season's champion, the Boston Celtics. This is the twelfth time these two franchises have met in the NBA Finals, but only the second time without wearing...these:
So...yeah. Go, modern basketball!
Hey, we've got a great show for you - Gaffer Tape is here! One of my favorite bands from the mid-90's is making their reunion performance right here tonight (sometime before the end of this segment I'll let you know just who)...and of course, say hello to my least-favorite band, Joe McCarthy and The Accusers! Fellas, play me to the desk!
Anyway folks, glad you could all make it. What's going on in the world these days? I saw that Al and Tipper Gore are on the outs. Yeah, sadly, the Gores are separating after forty years of marriage. In a joint press release, the couple said they would have separated ten years ago, but it took Al most of that decade to remove his tongue from Tipper's intestines.
Apparently, in Washington DC, there's a proposal afoot to tax medical marijuana - seriously. One estimate of the financial windfall is $400,000 in the next five years. Another estimate provided was around $650,000, but that's because that economist knows a guy who knows a guy who says the stuff is top shelf.
By the way, the Libertarian Party's official reaction to this news was less than positive:
...aaand, that's everything! There's the whole show! Thanks for coming!
How is everyone? Wow, what a crowd, huh Joe?
What's so funny?
I don't know. How many Communists does it take to change a lightbulb?
That doesn't make...the show JUST started and you're...jeez.
Oh yeah, this show's got a future.
ANNOUNCER: From downtown Victoria, Texas...
...and to the good folks at OT.com, IT'S! THE VFP Show!
Tonight: one of the biggest stars of both OT.com and YouTube - GAFFER TAPE!
http://www.youtube.com/user/MistareFusion
And tonight's special musical guest...in their first public appearance in fifteen years...
We can't give that up just yet, but stick around!
Plus: say hello to THE VFP Show's house band, Joseph McCarthy and The Accusers!
Ladies and Gentlemen - get off your seat and on your feet: IT'S THE VFP Show!
AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, vote_for_palpatine!!
Sorry about the confusion. Everyone's on standby to do it again. All this time travelling mess is convincing me that I should start sooner rather than later. Besides, the sooner I do this, the sooner Gaffer can get to entertaining his/her/his/? groupies.
Mountain time is one hour behind Central time, which means you already missed the entire show.
Unless the DVR caught it.
Special Guest has spoken. Look for this thing to kick off in about two hours.
That's two hours from now in the Central Time Zone - be sure to adjust for local time.
I thought "I've set my DVR" was just an expression, like "Of course I'll stick around and help you raise our child".
Members browsing this forum: Davnes007, Moth3r, Sluggo, TheBoost, TV's Frink
You guys don't have to wait in the lobby all afternoon - I left you tickets at will call.
C3PX said:
: Hi, I am Lord Totalbiscuit, majority shareholder for Total Biscuit brand biscuits inc. and host of WoW Radio. People who like Star Wars are nerds. YOU SHALL ALL BOW BEFORE ME!!! MINIONS ATTACK!!! HOOOOOOAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Is "Lord Totalbiscuit" different than "TotalBiscuit"? Because if "Lord Totalbiscuit" is THAT thing I am totally going to listen to WoW radio now.
Hey everybody!
Join me, VFP, tonight for the premiere edition of THE VFP Show! We've got ourselves a kick-ass house band, another band making their first public performance in fifteen years, and I sit down for a chat with the one, the only, Gaffer Tape.
That's right, I said Gaffer Tape. Cover your keyboards.
Don't get me wrong, I agree and never used it myself. It just surprises me that there's someone out there who uses it tongue-out-of-cheek.
It doesn't surprise me that it's skyjedi using it,lol.
If you ask me, that guy was being an (my completely original term) e-hole.
I always thought the "raped my childhood" was just OTT internetese to make a point; it seems some actually use it in earnest.
Yeesh.
This belongs in the Script Writing & Rewriting thread, no?
Some pretty good ideas by this guy, even though he and I got into an e-scrap once.
http://originaltrilogy.com/forum/topic.cfm/Star-Wars-had-a-rough-draft-so-did-DOOM/topic/6272/
I just love the way this title reads, and its implication that Star Wars and DOOM have this very rare shared trait, that most creative works don't go through this obscure "rough draft" stage.
The thread itself is meh.
Scruffy said:
"Alert my Star Destroyer..." ruins the pacing and logic of the scene semantically, too.
"Bring my shuttle" means Vader is leaving, and he's leaving now. He's not going to walk to where his shuttle is, he's having it brought to him. In the SE, he walks to his shuttle, which is much less urgent.
"Alert:" Something is going to happen, but it's not happening yet. While everything else is happening in real time, the command to alert someone to do something draws our attention away from the action into the future. This would be okay if the future we were considering had some direct bearing on the action ... "Alert my Star Destroyer to prepare for bombardment," etc ... but it really doesn't. Lucas breaks into the action to ask us to consider something utterly mundane.
"... to prepare for my arrival." This implies that Executor is not, in fact, prepared for Vader's arrival. There are troops in contact and starfighters cleared hot, so by this point everyone should be "prepared" for every contingency. Approach, IFF, etc should be handled by the shuttle crew and flight ops as in RotJ, there is no need for the passenger to do it. The implication behind this line is that
a) Vader expects some kind of pomp and ceremony when he boards, or
b) Executor is an inefficient ship and has to be continually reminded to be ready for the squadron commander to embark.
Either way, the Imperials come off looking kind of dumb. If Vader expects a reception in the midst of combat, he has a grossly-inflated sense of self-importance. If he is micromanaging his shuttle and Star Destroyer crews, he has a grossly-deflated sense of their competence (or they are, in fact, quite incompetent). And in both cases, the sense of urgency is deflated.
Ah, well. Star Wars is effectively dead to me. Star Trek, too. Maybe this "Firefly" thing I hear so much about will catch on.
Awesome post!
Coming June 1 - it's THE VFP Show! Guest and Musical Act CONFIRMED!!
I was rather hopeful that bothtrilogies.com would be something rather unhinged.
