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Jokes thread : Reloaded
<b><u>A Woman's Reasoning</u></b>

A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room, where her daughter had been waiting.

"Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini."

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. "I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends gave the woman their condolences, and they had a couple of more martinis. After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS."

The woman said, "I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone."
Any trasnfans around? Just curious. (Transformers thread)
Hot Rod was pretty cool, but maybe he'll be in a future movie. After all, he wasn't a first generation character. If it does well, I'm sure they'll make a sequel, without a doubt.

You know the creator of the show personally, Nanner Split? Cool!

For anyone who's interested, here's alink to the website for the movie's 20th Anniversary Special Edition DVD. It'll be a 2-disc set with the original widescreen version and the full frame version. It's scheduled for a November 7<i><u>th</u></i> release.
hot like fire thread
That's a load of crap. I'm heterosexual! I'm still friends with lots of girls that I've known for years haven't had sex with them. We still get along just fine! They have their partners, I have mine! Where are all of these complications that you say exist? Like I said before, not every man is a sexual predator like you imply.
hot like fire thread
Originally posted by: Hot.like.fire
Originally posted by: dapawz
Originally posted by: Hot.like.fire
what on earth was the huge post about? i started reading it but my eyes got all blurry...
that guy on the bus reminds me of a time my friends and i went on the bus drunk. there was this total creeper who moved seats to come sit closer to us and in the end my friend scared the crap outta him. at one point my friend tracy was "like JT (we named him justin timberlake for kicks) are we making you uncomfortable?" and he was like "yeah kinda". then we'd laugh hysterical cuz he was a creeper who got creeped out by us. LOVES IT.

sounds like he wanted teh butt sechs with you. serious question, how old are you? your posts seem like you're too young to be drinking. seriously

I will be 22 in January. In five years time i'll be a Doctor. In 10 years time hopefully i'll have some brats i can call my own.
And yes my posts are pretty immature but it's my online personality on this site. If I suddenly became seriously you'd all think someone hacked into my account.

Now I have a new question.

Boys... is it creepy or cute when a girl stalks you cuz she has a crush on you? (and i don't mean the super creepy hiding in bushes, staking out in cars type stalking. I mean the 'running into him in the cafeteria' and "oh hey there didn't see you at the bus stop" type stalking.

Despite what these two have been telling you, not all guys are sexual perverts. If some guy is "accidentally" bumping into you pretty frequently, there's a possibility that he might be somewhat dangerous. On the other hand, he might be the shy type who would be content just knowing you and hanging out with you. But you'll never know for sure if you don't give him a chance. Stop and talk to him for a little bit, and draw your own conclusions. He could be just looking for a good lay, but then again, he might turn out to be the best friend you ever had. Don't listen to these two! Not all guys are a mass of raging hormones.
Tell 1,000 People
Here's some good news...(kind of) for any Gargoyles fans.

Gargoyles - Tell 1,000 people
Posted by Gord Lacey

Greg Weisman had a message for Gargoyle fans at Comic Con; tell 1,000 people that Gargoyles is on DVD and that should be enough to get season 2, volume 2 released. We've known the series was at risk since February when Weisman made a post about the show over at Station 8.

There, we just told over 1,000 people, how about you?

Here's a photo of Greg Weisman and Dan Vado (head of Slave Labor Publishing) taken during the Comic Con panel. If you're a fan of Gargoyles then you may be interested in picking up the new Gargoyles comics. You can find more information on the
Steve Labor Website.
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Cowboy And A Genie

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

"Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work. You have three wishes."

"I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie."

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."

***POOF*** The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."

"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF*** The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

***POOF*** He turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story:
If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.
The Music Thread
I believe there has been a thread like this, but I'll post the bands I listened to again. They are:

Valentine [later changed their name to "Open Skyz" for legal reasons] (They are considerably underrated.)
Hugo (lead singer of Valentine / Open Skyz)
Survivor (another highly underrated band)
Jim Jamison
Mötley Crüe
Black Sabbath
Ozzy Osbourne
Rick Springfield
Twisted Sister
Bon Jovi
Lita Ford
Pat Benatar
R.E.O. Speedwagon
Night Ranger
Skid Row
Def Leppard
Skid Row
Stan Bush & Barrage
Van Halen
Vince Neil
The Go-Go's
Belinda Carlisle
"Weird Al" Yankovic (What can I say? His songs are funny, and his videos are even funnier)
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Wait Your Turn

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Rabbit Resurrection

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry.

A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to he car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road.

50 meters away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 meters, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 meters.

The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, " What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: " 'Hare Spray' Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave."
Originally posted by: HudsonMan
I am SKIPPING the regular Star Wars Trilogy DVDs this fall and now more than ever I WANT TO OWN THE ORIGINAL "STAR WARS" TRILOGY
ON HD-DVD IN MAY 2007, in time for Star Wars' 30th Anniversary. "Star Wars : A New Hope" inspired me to be a Writer and I want to own
the Original Uncut Unaltered HD-DVD version of "Star Wars : A New Hope!!!" Write to every single media outlet and DEMAND the Original
Star Wars Trilogy on HD-DVD in 2007! These films MUST be on the best format ever : HD-DVD, there is room on each HD-DVD for the
"Special Edition" version of the film and "Empire of Dreams" and whatever else they want to add BUT I repeat, I WANT TO OWN THE
ORIGINAL "STAR WARS" TRILOGY on HD-DVD in 2007! Write to every single media outlet and DEMAND Lucasfilm to release these great
films on HD-DVD!!!!! Thanks for your support!!!!!!

Mark McLaughlin - marknetproductions.go.dyndns.org

There's always the slim chance that he'll do it, HudsonMan. After all, he does have a habit of eventually breaking down and doing what the fans want...after he's grown tired of Star Wars fans' groveling and complaining.