May I respectfully intrude?
I think its not a good idea to start the crawl with “the last jedi”, mostly because its the title for the next installment. Coming right after ROTJ the line “Luke Skywalker has vanished” sounds more impactful, so that’s something I’d consider keeping from the original crawl. Also, with the First Order being more of an outcast paramilitary force with no rule or seat of power, I think it shouldn’t be called “Imperial”. Amongst other things, I’d rearrange it like this:
Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, a new power arises to threaten the galaxy.
Descending into endless divide, some members of the Republic Senate have secretly called upon a daring RESISTANCE to find the last Jedi and restore the light of hope to the waning stars.
Emerging from a hidden fortress of the crumbled Empire, the evil FIRST ORDER hastens toward the wasteland of Jakku, a sanctuary which holds the key to Skywalker’s return…