szopman

smudger9 said:

StarkillerAG said:

smudger9 said:

szopman said:

I still hasn’t finished watching (won’t be able to watch it all at once today) but I noticed one little thing that makes the opening text feel very off.

The first line is centered, while the other 3 paragraphs are to the left. Its a little detail maybe but it really “hit” my eyes and made it look very faneditish to me.

The written content itself and its pacing is great, not too long,not too short, more like “Solo”. But still, I really think the format has to be corrected 😉

Once I watch it all, I ll be able to share more insights 😉

Thanks for the feedback. I tried a number of different formats for the crawl - all centered, all left aligned, centred with left aligned. This is the one I thought looked the best. The idea is that the first line is a sort of subtitle to the film title. Then the following three paragraphs are the exposition. I guess I could just combine the first 2 lines and keep it all left aligned if it bothers more people.

I personally think the first line would look better left aligned, although I do like it being a separate paragraph for additional emphasis.

Also, there’s a typo in the text; the first line should say “it’s a dark time,” rather than “its”. Personally, though, I think it would look more Star Wars-y to get rid of the contraction completely: “It is a dark time for the galaxy.”

EDIT: There should also be a comma in the third sentence: “But as the oppression grows, pockets of resistance have started to form.”

Thanks for the input. Corrections made. I’ve gone for centred because the shorter line doesn’t look right with left allignment.

Now rendering new versions with this intro and the rogue frame removed.

Looks great

I still hasn’t finished watching (won’t be able to watch it all at once today) but I noticed one little thing that makes the opening text feel very off.

The first line is centered, while the other 3 paragraphs are to the left. Its a little detail maybe but it really “hit” my eyes and made it look very faneditish to me.

The written content itself and its pacing is great, not too long,not too short, more like “Solo”. But still, I really think the format has to be corrected 😉

Once I watch it all, I ll be able to share more insights 😉

I think most of us will agree that the prison arc was the best part of “Andor” so far, the creme de la creme. I think Ep II should heavily focus on this storyline 😉

Smudger, I think the text is a bit too long (and it goes too fast). I like the idea of doing the “Solo” kind of opening crawl, but I think it was shorter and more laconic there. I think you should keep it more simple and it should be more about Andor.

I checked again the bar scene and I think it looks fine, if I didnt know I wouldnt guess it was trimmed so much, I’d say it Looks natural. For me it looks like Andor was looking for some fun there, and when those two guys started to talk sh*t to him, he Just backed off, wanting to avoid any trouble.

About those Mon Mothma scenes - tbh, I didnt even notice that u cut that much, so probably it wasnt that important after all. I also think that the best, most important and interesting stuff with her was in later episodes, so I’d assume we will see more of her in the 2nd Episode (that part of the Season was so good that I kinda feel that your Episode II of Andor will be my favorite fanedit 9f yours 😄).

About the crawl - as Arabian said, it’d be better if it was trimmed. Also the 1st parapgraph seems a bit long and for me, it sounds pretty off. Too many adjectives/adverbs I think (but since Im not a native speaker, I wont be really able to help with any precise suggestions).

So, I’ve checked the workprint and I must say - very good work.
I like how you cut a lot of boring stuff from eps 1-3. Personally, I’d cut even more, but still, good job. You left what needed to be left, you cut what bothered me the most. I like the structure, the pacing is great, looks like an actual movie.

Also, I’ve been following your fanedit career since the first trailer of your TCW movie edit and I have to say that you improved a lot in terms of pacing and removing stuff. I love your ‘Army of the Republic’ but I always skip the first 35min cause it’s mostly a boring filler that could and should have been cut. Now, I think you mastered the art of sacrificing some scenes for better pacing and more coherent movie structure.

Anyway, great job as always 😉
Tbh, I wait more for the 2nd movie, that part of the season was just so epic ❤️ Can’t wait to see how you will deal with those episodes;)

After seeing what you did with “Andor” I really hope one day you’ll improve Obi-wan for us 😉

smudger9 said:

regularjoe said:

Just wanted to say I like your title a lot.
I always try to put a lot of thought into things like that, mine is a two-fer and I called my Ep1 “From a Dusty World to the Stars” becuase I liked the play on Stardust.

Thanks…… I’m struggling with the title to episode II.

Maybe use Episode 11’s title (Daughter of Ferrix)?

I’d love to see your edit 😉 wouldnt miss it 😉

I agree that the first arc should be heavily cut.

EDIT
Since we currently have The Mando, TBOBB, Obi-wan (which I have no doubt one day you ll touch as well 😄), Andor and Ahsoka on the way; maybe you’d reconsider dropping the “episodic” style and try to make them all more like “A Star Wars Story”? Or just to skip “Episode” in the title and then Just leave SW logo there and the title 9f the movie?
It d be more consistent 8 think. Cause if u do a chronological order, you have Episodes 1-3, Solo, Obi-wan, Andor Episodes 1-X (3-4, I imagine), RO, Episodes 4-6,Mando EP 1-3,then probably Ahsoka Episode I (what if its only one and thats it?), then Eps 7-9.

Any plans maybe to release v1 with the New logo? 😄

Are you gonna release the previous edits with the New logo? 😃

Yeah, actually it totally Looks like another Anthology film 😉 I’m totally gonna include this version in my every year SW movies maraton 😉

+1
besides, I think its clear that Vader lost but he’s alive and will return in next movies. Its not like we last See him half-dying and its left as a cliffhanger. Even if the audience didnt know any SW stories that come after this one, there’s still no doubt he s alive and Even more eager to destroy Obi-wan.
And then, if it wouldnt be that obvious to a viewer, his 1st appearance in RO would have a stronger/better effect.

Maaaan, V3 will be a perfect fanedit of this show! Cannot wait!

Wooooooow
Spence, thats a pure perfection! <33

SpenceEdit said:

I’m leaning toward maybe keeping the quiet bit while they stand off, then pivoting to the original music when Kenobi says “I will do what I must”.

That sounds good 😉

About the duel music, I think its one of the very few moments of the show, that doesnt really require any reacoring, the music was really nice there. Also I think that using the battle of heroes is a bit faneditish here. But thats Just my humble opinion. Maybe this theme would worka better somewhere in the middle of the duel?

Love the ideas for v3 So far. The theme you used for the hallway scene fits So great. No one wanted, everyone needed 😄

Octorox said:

Just in case anything thought I had abandoned this idea, I haven’t. I took a stab at implementing RogueLeader’s suggestion, along with some preliminary color grading, and pitching up Anakin’s voice. A ton of work still needs to be done on the foley and score for the duel scene, but here is a new test video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lQvxG9rR0zDwwI6yCnMCqBs8fUDLNOXh/view?usp=sharing

Looks great, I’m a big fan of any AOTC extended version ideas 😉 I think this scene would fit really nicely in the movie and it really adds to the whole subplot of Anakin being frustrated that Obi-wan is limitating him. I ve always thought that AOTC is the movie that would benefit a lot if the delete scenes were reinserted there, I have a huge nostalgią for that Episode.

Ahaha Just to clarify, I never minded the direction they went with Luke’s charakter in TLJ. Tho in “Kenobi” I Just thought it to be a bit ouflt of character that he needed to be convinced soo much to go after Leia. Plus, its a bit repetitive with TLJ, I guess I didnt want it to be Luke’s story 2.0, that’s all 😉

@Octorox
I meant cut it when they found her and say hello, them the next time we See her would be already on board of their ship.

So I’ve finally sae the V2. Overall - great job. There are things I thing could/should be changed but in generalnl it’s a very Well edited and coherent fanedit, doesnt feel faneditish. It does the job. And I understand you didnt want to alter the official story too much.

So, things I think could be improved:
-The infamous chase scene on Alderaan. I know its a very repetitive feedback but it can really end once we See a suspicious guy in the Forest saying hello. Its well too obvious they re there to kidnap there.
-The running Jedi on Tatooine - I think it can be cit even more - like to cut from Reva igniting the lightsaber directly to the footagr when he’s seen hanging dead in the Town (btw very good job on trimming the first EP).
-Bail convincing Obi-wan. It should be trimmed even more. Obi-wan wouldnt hesitate So much. Maybe the “Phone call” could be cut? Obi-wan shouldnt even be able to contact Bail So easily in the first place. Anyway, we dont need to See him how he enters the spaceship, we can cut directly to him landing On Daimyu.
-The cameo of Temeura should be reinserted 😭
-btw, not necesary for the story, but would be nice to See how Leia disses her cousin.
-I think we could have even less Haja 😉

“When Leia tells her father that “she’s not a real Organa”, we no longer have the context of it being something Leia was told by her cousin that she internalized. In this new context, it seems like it was Leia’s original thought, which imo doesn’t quite add up. I personally don’t mind Leia’s precocious reading of her cousin because I interpreted it as an example of her latent Force ability. I wonder if there’s any way you could reinstate some of that scene, at least enough to get the original context of the line back”

Maybe you are right about this one, but on the other hand, I forgot that it all started with the cousin being mean and it didnt feel off when I was watching the edit. Anyway, The whole Leia dissing her cousin scene was great.

“In Fortress Inquisitorius, Tala says something to the effect of “what are they hiding down there” but we no longer have the payoff of the Jedi tomb scene. I would just trim this line out if possible”
+1

And, I loved rescoring and all the trimming. And you improved soo soo much the Episode 3.

I ve been following maaaaany fanedit projects for Obi-Wan, but this one seems the most interrsting and creative one. Cannot wait to See it 😉

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PM please 😉

PM please ☺️☺️

Random idea:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ktlF2Ii6tgc

Anyone considered maybe using some fragments of the dialogue during flashbacks? There’s a one nice line that would work well with the final showdown (Anakin asks Obi-wan what would he do if Anakin failed him as well, and Obi-Wan replies that Anakin would never fail him). I think it’d work super well with the “I’m not your failure Obi-Wan” moment).