My nearest theater is also about 45 minutes away, plus I can’t see it Thursday night due to final exams. Now all of a sudden, family troubles start rising dramatically, which may prevent me from seeing it until next week.
• Can probably spin rapidly.
I’ll try spinning, that’s a good trick.
In journalism, a hot take is a “piece of deliberately provocative commentary that is based almost entirely on shallow moralizing” in response to a news story, “usually written on tight deadlines with little research or reporting, and even less thought”.
This could be the hottest hot take in all of geek-ish journalism.
A real Star Wars fan:
• Can probably spin rapidly.
• Seems to be powered by some form of electricity.
How dare you discriminate against the hand-powered!
You’re right, I was a fool.
A real Star Wars fan:
• Has Star Wars imagery painted on.
• Can probably spin rapidly.
• Seems to be powered by some form of electricity.
• Maybe has some small toy ships hanging from appendages on strings.
• Looks cool while keeping you cool.
• Is often found on the ceiling, but not always.
Yes, indeed, that one does reflect your missing of a joke.
And knowing is half the battle…
¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
Fair enough.
I wouldn’t trust Kevin Smith farther than I could throw him.
You’re wrong for that lol
No I’d say he’s about right.
Let’s be honest, you’d like to see everything you don’t agree with or understand be a punishable infraction.
…with said punishment consisting of…
Death by ‘Ultra-Enhanced Pat-Down’
I didn’t know that Darth Id works for the TSA.
fan
noun
noun: fan; plural noun: fans
a person who has a strong interest in or admiration for a particular person or thing.
Therefore:
Star Wars fan
noun
noun: Star Wars fan; plural noun: Star Wars fans
a person who has a strong interest in or admiration for Star Wars
COOL ROGUE ONE SPOILER BELOW
I’m scared of my inevitably monotonous future.
Perks of growing up in a conservative Christian household in the '00s include finding these years later:
EDIT: one of the discs is missing. ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
I popped one of these in just out of morbid curiosity, and one of the previews was for “Bibleman: Live.”
Ouch.
LIVE UPDATES
I’m honestly surprised this isn’t in 4:3.
Okay, now to the intro, and this is ridiculous. I CAN SEE THE GREEN SCREEN.
Somehow becoming a devout Christian advanced puberty by several years per second.
Through the power of prayer, Bibleman exposed hidden landmines I MEAN “Sneak Bombs.”
I could use some of this villain’s CGI test answer papers he threw into the air for kids to use to cheat.
So they used the entire climax of a previous episode as a flashback simply because someone referenced said episode.
I hope this is a clipshow.
So their base is a trailer that’s bigger on the inside. TARDIS trailer. Huh.
There’s apparently a full “Bible Adventure Team” out there somewhere. A full team.
“So you work in technology?”
“No, it’s just a hobby, my first love is Biblical Studies!”
So far, Bibleman acts and talks like a sidekick and his sidekick acts like the real hero.
These expository transition slides are just bizarre.
*reference to magic*
Sidekick guy: “I believe in MIRACLES, not magic.”
So the “plot” is that a sports drink sold at a concession stand is making all the kids at the baseball park into hateful brats. The villain is getting a phonecall from satan himself, and the camera keeps spinning and twisting while he’s just… talking.
The evil gatorade is made of sugar, water, and rotten apples. The reasoning behind this is because of biblical “spiritual fruit” allegories in Luke 6.
Evil mohawk goblin villain appears behind a kid and the kid doesn’t freak out because he’s so totally evil now, and so the villain teaches him the most evil thing ever: how to shrug!
I think the effects were rendered in about 240p, even though the rest of this is standard 480.
The heroes are now trapped on wires hanging from the ceiling.
Nevermind, they have now been released through the power of quoting scripture.
So now a girl shows up and this is suddenly eerily similar to Batman and Robin. The neon aesthetic, the Batgi- er, Biblegirl arc. Holy Shumacher!
The villains keep referencing Satan, but never by name. He is only “the Boss.”
The ending is an in invitation to accept Christ with a scripted prayer said eerily in unison in front of a green screen (Complete with visible green outline)!
This theme song is surprisingly catchy.
Well it’s over now, and that was… equal parts hilarious and uncomfortable.
Here’s the full thing on YouTube if anyone else wants to go on this bizarre Bible adventure.
I already saw the spoiler free verdict on twitter since I follow members of the Story Group, and Pablo Hidalgo loves the retweet button today. Still interesting to see though, especially when people compare their experience to those of seeing TFA and the OT.
People have fooled themselves into believing TFA belongs in the pantheon of the Original Trilogy. It doesnt. And as more films are added to the Star Wars galaxy, TFA will be bumped further and further down the list. It is mediocre. An expensive film executed cheaply based on a flimsy premise.
You’re right, I am now convinced TFA is no good. Brb, throwing my copy into my pile of leaves to burn.
Sillyness aside, I don’t think I’ve “fooled myself” at all. I’ve done such things with lesser movies before, but I realize their brokenness in a month or less (BvS). TFA is still a movie that I love. I cannot make myself think I like a movie simply because it services my fanhood for very long. TFA was a genuinely good film with lots of love and care put into it. So I must disagree, TFA does belong with the Original Trilogy.
I love TFA, and if VIII and IX are as fun and entertaining as TFA was, then I’d honestly be okay with Lucasfilm ending the Saga there, and letting the saga sit as three little nuggets of the history of the Skywalker-Solo clans that won’t need to be touched again.
It’s never gonna happen though, and that’s okay. I wouldn’t be surprised if IX doesn’t even try to wrap up a story and the saga eventually just ignores the three-part story idea in the future.
The sounds of the Star Trek TOS blu ray menus are quite relaxing.
War For The Planet of The Apes looks like everything I wanted the final chapter to be since I saw it Rise 5 years ago.
Is it the last movie in the series?
No.
I’ve seen some of him on the Internet. It’s great!
FTFY, heathen!
Perks of growing up in a conservative Christian household in the '00s include finding these years later:
EDIT: one of the discs is missing. ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
Please tell me one of his adventures involves him travelling back in time to 4004 BC to prove that young Earth creationism is the actual, literal, laugh-out-loud truth and that all old Earth creationists and theistic evolutionists are closet atheists damned to eternal torment in a sulfurous Hell.
Not AFAIK, but perhaps it could be a future animated series episode.
Perks of growing up in a conservative Christian household in the '00s include finding these years later:
EDIT: one of the discs is missing. ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
“Forces of Destiny”
The title sounds like it was made up by losers for a clickbait article.
FTFY
I remember reading something a couple years ago claiming that VII was “A New Dawn” based on trademark stuff, but that just turned out to be a book.
Besides, we all know it’s gonna be:
Episode VIII: The First Order Strikes Back
Episode IX: Rey-turn Of The Jedi
Kinda want to start a thread similar to this but for Superman. Then again, I’m tired and don’t know that I could really choose a best or worst.
