moviefreakedmind

Possessed said:

If you think nonfailed relationships are a waste then I guess i don’t even understand why you’re participating in this discussion except to spread more negativity.

I don’t like to walk away from conversations. I shared my honest opinions on dating, which I honestly people would agree with, and they didn’t and said other things that I responded to.

Mrebo said:

Feels not worth trying when you take such a pessimistic view. I think we had that conversation recently too.

What isn’t worth trying?

Mrebo said:

DominicCobb said:

You can point out more than one thing wrong at a time.

Like this.

Yep. Cops murder a lot of people’s pets.

DominicCobb said:

You can point out more than one thing wrong at a time.

I pointed it out before you did. Go back a page.

EDIT: I guess I did use the words “it doesn’t matter” but I was saying that it doesn’t matter that more whites are killed because any killing by cops is troublesome even if it isn’t a murder.

Handman said:

Why would you want to air all your worst qualities immediately? Who do you think I am, Woody Allen?

I don’t know. I haven’t seen any Woody Allen movies so I don’t get your joke.

I’m finding recently that putting any kind of faith in anyone is a waste of time.

That’s what I live by. There’s still some nuance, though. I trust Amazon not to deliver my packages to the wrong person, and I trust them to refund me if they do. I trust my waitress not to poison me, etc. etc. It all depends on what faith you’re putting into which person.

TV’s Frink said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I think most failed relationships are wastes of time where as a lot of you would probably find solace in whatever you were able to get or learn from the relationship before it failed.

Not all relationships end in failure though.

No, but I also think that non-failed relationships are a waste. Like I said, I get that my perception of reality doesn’t line up with other people’s.

DuracellEnergizer said:

[JEDIT]

I cannot change the tides, so I won’t continue trying.

I’m still curious about what you were going to say.

DominicCobb said:

The percentage of whit people in the US and white people shot by cops still doesn’t match though, even if they’re both a majority.

Right. In other news, 100% of the people that police murdered this year are people. Until that number decreases to zero, we’ve still got our work cut out for us.

It’s still disproportionate, but it doesn’t matter. Cops shoot and kill too many people in this country and the overwhelming lack of body-cam recordings is disturbing too.

This is a great resource for keeping track of police shootings, killings, and murders by year. 294 so far in 2018.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2018/national/police-shootings-2018/?utm_term=.c0c6e3888861

DominicCobb said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I complain about how shitty dating is, and then everyone bombards me with what dating is supposed to be. I don’t get it. I’m not complaining about what dating is supposed to be in an ideal world, I’m complaining about what it is. I can’t comprehend why people don’t get what I’m saying.

You’re saying that dating is always one way, when that’s not the case. What you’re describing is bad dating. It’s not all bad.

Some of it is worse than others. I don’t even like the dynamics behind what you might call “good dating.” It’s similar to a job interview. Part of the confusion also probably comes from me not valuing romantic relationships or companionship, which is also an unpopular opinion, and I think most failed relationships are wastes of time where as a lot of you would probably find solace in whatever you were able to get or learn from the relationship before it failed. I have come to terms with the fact that I don’t see reality the way everyone else does. Sometimes I still get surprised by people’s reactions though.

ChainsawAsh said:

It’s because you’re giving an absolute worst case scenario (people outright lying about everything about themselves in order to get in the other person’s pants) and presenting that as if it’s a universal truth for every person that ever goes on a date.

It’s not a universal truth, it’s just typically true.

The reality isn’t so dark. Highlighting your good qualities while downplaying your bad ones is closer to a universal truth about dating, but that’s not the same thing as what you’re saying. What you’re saying sounds like people go on dates as characters they made up that are nothing at all like them.

I consider highlighting good qualities and downplaying bad ones to be dishonest.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/opinion-foster-stephon-clark-misogynoir_us_5ac3dcb7e4b063ce2e56b6ec

This is an interesting piece. A lot of pro-police people are trying to justify the murder of Stephon Clark by pointing out that he was an asshole on Twitter and claiming that people, specifically black women, shouldn’t be commenting on this case because of the victim’s personal history. I find it despicable the lengths to which people go to justify police murder. If I went out and shot someone eight times, do you think people would be defending me by pointing out that the victim posted stupid shit on Twitter? Of course not, so why do police get a pass?

ray_afraid said:

DominicCobb said:

I don’t understand why it’s so hard to believe that maybe if they drastically retooled a movie after it was almost finished that maybe that movie wasn’t turning out to be very good. Occam’s Razor and all that.

It’s not that I find it hard to believe, I just wish they’d be more transparent about how things went down. With there seeming to be a gag order on the subject, I don’t fully trust anything that makes it past the guard so to speak.

Exactly.

I complain about how shitty dating is, and then everyone bombards me with what dating is supposed to be. I don’t get it. I’m not complaining about what dating is supposed to be in an ideal world, I’m complaining about what it is. I can’t comprehend why people don’t get what I’m saying.

Dek Rollins said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

This.

I’ve never been on a date, and I still agree with everything above.

This.

I agree with what Dom said too, but the romanticized vision of what dating is like is typically not reality. That’s my point.

DuracellEnergizer said:

moviefreakedmind said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

This.

I’ve never been on a date, and I still agree with everything above.

My point is that most dating is not how they’re claiming it is. That’s been my complaint all along.

You’re still only giving a POV slanted by your own subjective experiences and biases.

Isn’t that what everyone does?

DuracellEnergizer said:

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

This.

I’ve never been on a date, and I still agree with everything above.

My point is that most dating is not how they’re claiming it is. That’s been my complaint all along.

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

That’s fair enough. I don’t think people should air their biggest mistakes and regrets on early dates. I’m talking about behavior. I see no reason to behave significantly differently on a date than you would in almost any social occasion.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

Yes, and you wasted months of your life.

I didn’t even realize it was an argument, but whatever.

double post

ChainsawAsh said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I’m shocked that on this site of all places, where complaints of loneliness are common, it is controversial to think that dating as it typically is in society today is a frustrating waste of time. I feel like Obama at the first debate in 2012 where he went in expecting the complete opposite of what would actually happen, so this reaction really caught me off guard.

It’s frustrating, but I don’t think it’s a waste of time. I go into dates as an upfront and honest person who’s not trying to gloss over my flaws or make myself out to be better than I am. I won’t deny that most people don’t do this, but I think everyone would be better off if we all did.

That was my point. That’s how dating should be but it isn’t and never will be.

But hey, if you want to be alone forever, then sure, dating’s a waste of time.

I’d love to be alone forever. I don’t expect to live long though so I don’t think it’s as big of a deal to me than most people.

I was avoiding this statement because I don’t want to get crucified, but I don’t think Rogue One as we got it had much of a story at all, so I don’t feel comfortable believing that Edwards’ movie was so horrible when I think that the one we got was pretty bad for all the reasons that I’ve complained about since it came out that I won’t get into again because no one wants to hear it. To me, it’d be like if the makers of the recent Suicide Squad movie said, “The reshot version is a lot better than what we had before.” I don’t feel comfortable taking their word for it when I don’t know what they had before and I don’t like what they made out of it.

TV’s Frink said:

Is there any answer I can give that will satisfy you? I like the movies. Sue me.

You said you disagreed on everything I said (other than the book thing), so I asked about them being really long, because presumably you disagreed with that statement too.

DominicCobb said:

suspiciouscoffee said:

Yeah, but in Black Panther, the morally/politically correct person is the villain, so there’s that.

EDIT: Maybe not “politically correct” as the term is popularly viewed, and maybe not entirely morally correct since he kills some people, but still, Killmonger was right.

That’s why Black Panther is great. T’Challa’s worldview is challenged and he ultimately takes Kilmonger’s message to heart… so yeah he was right, but Kilmonger was also a murderer trying to commit mass murder, so I don’t think one can really say he was “maybe” morally wrong…

That’s why I was tempted to watch it.