I like the idea of inserting the crew portrait shot of the heroes in the Falcon. But I think that should be it. The scene doesn’t need to go on any longer than that, in my opinion, so I’d leave out any extra shots and/or dialogue.
Is there any way of explaining that Palpatine is a clone? Movie on first viewing and without JJ’s later given context suggests he just survived all this time.
This edit replaces the tank full of Snoke clones with a tank full of Palpatine clones. I’d say that’s a pretty strong implication.
Anyway, I’d love to get a look at the entire cut if possible. Can someone dm me a link?
Hello there! I got you.
IMO, I think if you leave out the transports landing, but go straight to the interior shot of the stormtroopers disembarking and then charging into battle, it looks good. I also think muting the Battlefront footage would help, if you were to keep it in.
Strongly agree here. Not that I’m a big fan of the Battlefront stuff, but the landing is the worst part due to the odd speed and camera angle, and there shouldn’t be any voices when they leave so that it flows a bit better into Kylo’s reveal.
I threw together a SUPER rough cut in the default Windows editor of how this would look.
What is left to do for v1?
Pretty much everything on page 1 that doesn’t have a green check mark next to it
Here’s how it would be with just the TIEs shot.
If you’re set on leaving out the Battlefront footage, this is the way to go.
IMO, I think if you leave out the transports landing, but go straight to the interior shot of the stormtroopers disembarking and then charging into battle, it looks good. I also think muting the Battlefront footage would help, if you were to keep it in.
Pretty much. This one is pretty good quality, from what I can hear.
Very interesting. I like the idea of “A day of revenge, a day we all can share” or whatever, then Poe saying “He’s been planning his revenge,” then “The Final Order begins” and Poe saying “He calls it the Final Order… in 16 minutes attacks on all three worlds begins.”
I think you need some sleep, Hal!
Anyways, as I’ve said before, anything is better than Poe’s line. I was also wondering if it would be possible to move Ackbar Jr.’s line “It cannot be! The emperor is dead!” earlier so that it seems like he’s reacting to hearing Palpatine’s voice.
I still think the Battlefront footage looks great, but just leave out the troop carriers landing and the flying stormtroopers. Everything in between those two shots looks great.
Also, agree with Knight of Kalee, you should definitely at the very least keep the TIEs flying over the forest.
I’d recommend more restraint on the all-caps. There aren’t actually that many all-caps words in the old title crawls. The new films have overexagerrated it, especially the awful, awful original IX crawl, but I’d prefer a new one reign it in a bit.
IV: “DEATH STAR”
V: none
VI: “GALACTIC EMPIRE”
I: none
II: “ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC”
III: none
VII: “FIRST ORDER” “REPUBLIC” “RESISTANCE”
VIII: “FIRST ORDER” “RESISTANCE”
IX: “REVENGE” “EMPEROR PALPATINE” “GENERAL LEIA ORGANA” “REY” “FIRST ORDER” “KYLO REN”
Well, damn, today I learned. Honestly thought all the films had emphasized words. Good to know!
Hal I was working on my crawl in Blender using jackpumpkinhead’s Custom Crawl Creator v2 and I also did a test of your crawl (tweaking the 2nd line slightly).
Here’s what your crawl looks like rendered in blender with custom kerning, chromatic aberration and all that good stuff…
https://streamable.com/n3jiomThe text:
Flames of rebellion burn across the galaxy. The tyrannical First Order has retaliated by attacking any planetary system suspected of supporting their enemy.As Rey, sole heir to the Jedi, continues her training, General Leia Organa sends her brave agents across the stars to unite the disparate worlds in the name of Resistance.
Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has traveled to Mustafar, chasing whispers of a hidden power that would allow him to destroy any threat to his rule…
EDIT: I just corrected the star field in my template so now its perfect. If anyone would like a crawl rendered for their edit, let me know.
Wow, that looks great. My only nitpick is that the crawls usually have certain words in all caps for EMPHASIS. I would recommend capping FIRST ORDER, REY, and KYLO REN. Maybe RESISTANCE and/or MUSTAFAR as well, but those might be too close to the other capped words.
I think if the “Somehow, Palpatine has returned” bit is going to be replaced with the group listening to something, a big fancy broadcast isn’t the way to go. Instead, we should hear Palpatine speaking with Pryde, distorted enough to sound like a secret recording but clear enough to recognize their voices. This places emphasis on the spy subplot and foreshadows both that someone high-ranking is the spy, as well as that Pryde’s loyalty lies with the Emperor and not the Supreme Leader. It also potentially works as a red herring. If we hear Richard Grant speaking in the spy message and then later see him as a new character in the First Order meeting, he and Hux eyeing each other suspiciously from across the table, then an observant audience member will likely come to one of two assumptions: either Hux is the spy (now foreshadowed instead of a random twist), or Pryde is (a red herring, making Hux’s reveal and death a bigger twist).
Edit: if we want to split Palpatine and Pryde’s conversation from later in the movie, and do a bit of sentence-mixing, we could do it like this:
Spy recording on Ajan Kloss:
Palpatine: “Send the ships to a world they know. Let it burn. The Final Order begins.”
Pryde: “Yes, my lord.”This gives context to Poe’s line, “He calls it the Final Order. In 16 hours, attacks on all free worlds begin.”
Then in the meeting after Leia’s death:
Palpatine: “The princess of Alderaan has disrupted my plan, but her foolish act will be in vain. Come to me on Exegol, General Pryde.”
Pryde: “As I served you in the old wars, I serve you now.”
Palpatine: “She will come. Her friends will follow.”
Pryde: “Yes, my lord.”This is the same “Yes, my lord” used twice, but it’s far enough apart and appropriate enough for the situation that I bet a casual audience member wouldn’t notice.
I think this is the best idea I’ve heard so far, if it can be done. The Fortnite message is a bit cheesy, admittedly, so this seems like a better alternative.
I just cannot stand “Somehow…Palpatine returned.” It sounds like something out of a fan fic.
Yes, if you listen closely, my version of the broadcast kinda adds more context to the events of the ST in general.
“At last the work of generations is complete. The great error is corrected.Skywalker is Dead. The Republic has been destroyed. The day of victory is at hand. The day of Revenge. The days of the Sith”
https://vimeo.com/404134108Wouldn’t this placement eliminate the briefing of the spy intel which is a needed scene to advise the Resistance they must find Exegol.
If Hal were to implement it, I don’t think so. After showing Kylo, one could easily just cut to Rose saying “Do we really believe this?” and continue the scene as normal.
Personally, I am all for including at least part of the broadcast. Anything is better than “Somehow… Palpatine returned.”
I know you’ve used the titles of TFA and TLJ for your sequel trilogy Hal, but have you considered a new title for this one? The Rise of Skywalker just doesn’t convey what this movie (where the Skywalkers go extinct) is about.
My suggestion - Heir to the Empire. The film is about Palpatine’s heir and trying to decide whether it was Kylo or Rey. It’s a classic Star Wars book title, thus fitting with PT naming choices. Plus it gives a good ol’ George Lucas level rhyming scheme to the names of each Trilogy’s Climaxes.
Revenge of the Sith
Return of the Jedi
Heir to the Empire
I think the “Skywalker” the title refers to is Rey. Having said that, I’ve always thought “Legacy of Skywalker” would fit better.
In my opinion the Mustafar sequence looks great, with the only shot that really sticks out being the troop carriers landing. I think if you cut that but kept the interior shot and the the shot of the troops disembarking it would look better. I also think this footage (pw: fanedit) from Movies Remastered could be used to extend the shot a bit so the transition from the troops to Kylo is smoother. I still think you should leave out the flying troops, but that extra second of the others charging into battle could help.
Regarding the dagger whispers, would it help if they got louder and more intense as Rey moves further into the Death Star?
Hal, that edit works beautifully! Nice!
Here’s another pass of Ochi (so sorry for inundating you, but sometimes when I have a few free hours, it’s best to work through it when I can!):
https://vimeo.com/430068518
pw: faneditFor this pass, I redid the roto of the ship with Mocha so the edges should be clean and sharp. I also reduced the jet-stream a bit, added some engine pulses, and sped up Kylo’s hair to realtime. If the flightpath is still an issue, I’d have to rethink the shot a little bit or look for a 3D model (which I haven’t been able to find). Honest feedback welcome!
I downloaded the clip, and I personally think this is perfect.
I rewrote your opening crawl to cut down the word count:
Following the conclusion of the Clone Wars, occupation of the planet MANDALORE transferred to the reorganized GALACTIC EMPIRE. As a result, civil war has broken out on the planet, making travel throughout the Outer Rim difficult.
Looking to secure a new hyperspace route, PHOENIX SQUADRON, a small Rebel cell led by Hera Syndulla, seeks safe passage to their fleet.
With SABINE WREN, a fellow Rebel turned Mandalorian, on their side, the squad sets Concord Dawn as their destination. . . .
I haven’t watched this arc of Rebels yet so let me know if there are any inaccuracies!
Here’s another test. I just dropped the whispers in, and I’d blend them in and adjust volume once we’re happy with placement. That extra shot helps a lot, actually. I can’t tell if the second whisper makes the cutaway to riders more abrupt, or if it is effective at implying the voices are guiding her into the DSII.
Looking good. Going off some of the other suggestions, what if while she’s looking out at the Death Star include cuts to the throne room, maybe throw in Vader’s breathing, the Emperor’s line from ROTJ “Fulfill your destiny,” and then re-use the shot of Rey looking down at the dagger. And then cut to the shot of the riders coming up, cut to Poe turning, Finn turning, and finally the shot of Jannah on horseback.
But even for Rey Nobody, unless it’s near unanimous, I think it’s stronger to keep the original final line.
I think I agree. That “Just Rey” is so well done, but after seeing the alternate angle for “Rey Skywalker” I feel like it’s the definitive ending. I see it less as her just taking the name and more as her desire to carry on the legacy.
If I cut along those time stamps there’d still be a reference to lightspeed skipping but not as heavy of a focus. Might work.
Krausfadr posted a clip of how he edited the scene a while back:
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1347166/action/topic#1347166
Anyway, the other eye roll is still the dagger “pop out” on Endor that points to the location of the Wayfinder. A simpler thing to do is to remove that pop out and make use of Sith whispers to “guide” Rey.
It’s a Sith thing, has dark side power to it and she has been guided by it before. (Sensing it on the Destroyer before her first duel with Kylo.)
The pop out part is just so … cheesy. Too Gooney. Also, it really makes no sense why they dude would chose a specific spot on “Endor,” made a design to “line” up with the DSII spot. It’s so bad.
Sith whispers is such a simple solution.
This is exactly what I suggested a few pages ago 😛
That’s a good point about the heroes leaving Pasaana. If that ship can be seen leaving the planet and maybe entering hyperspace, that’d be cool.
When Kylo is telling Rey about her parents, there’s a shot of Ochi’s ship flying away from Jakku. Could just reuse that to imply the heroes’ escape.
Finished watching the workprint a little while ago and PMed Hal some feedback that he suggested I post here in the main thread!
-I think all of the edits Hal and everyone else (especially poppasketti, jonh, Movies Remastered, and many others!) have made so far work really well. I hadn’t seen any footage of Leia’s purple lightsaber outside of the Force ghost clips that jonh posted, and the final product looks amazing.
-Does anyone have any ideas on getting rid of the “Somehow Palpatine returned” line? It’s so… bad, but I don’t know how the scene can work without anyone directly mentioning it.
-On Endor: I think if you cut away after Rey repeats the dagger inscription to herself, and don’t show her holding it up and stuff, the scene would still work without the ridiculousness of lining up the blade perfectly with the Death Star wreckage that somehow hasn’t moved an inch after crashing into the ocean 30 years ago. Perhaps add some Sith whispers when Rey is pulling the dagger from her bag and start the Imperial March motif sooner so it’s sort of implied that, as the inscription says, the blade is literally telling her? Then add more whispers as she’s wandering through the wreckage so it’s like they’re guiding her.
-Hal wasn’t as into this idea as I was, but what does everyone think about giving Ben a few more lines so that his last word isn’t “ow”? I thought maybe taking some of his dialogue from TLJ and recycling it so he can speak when resurrecting Rey, like “Rey… Please…” or something.
PMs sent to jonh, DarkSpecter5K, and jkimm