Does upscaling require you to literally leave your computer (or other equipment) on for 1 - 2 weeks consecutively?
If confirmed, that sounds power-intensive.
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Were there a few brief isolated moments when Rukh basically is talking to himself or thinking out loud? I think those would be natural moments for him to use his native language.
Perhaps moments when he is shouting or in shock. Personally, I think people would tend to think in their native language and use their language when angry.
This sounds worse than the series. Giving PIP a voice, & Darth Plagueis an apprentice!?
I thought the Pio voice worked very well. It became a droid with an attitude similar to 3P0 and R2 in the Original Trilogy.
The Plageuis having an aporentice was likely typed in error. His appearance was moved to a different and more appropriate spot. Nothing more than that.
First and foremost I want to thank Smudger for sharing the edit with me. I will have plenty to say in favor and some differences. Also, I do want to say nothing here is personal. Our entertainment and judgment is extremely subjective. Editing is hard and time consuming work. I could tell that a lot of time and passion went into this.
POSITIVES
DIFFERENCES
I tried to include rough timestamps when feasible.
==> I do not believe we need the entire âflashbackâ opening. Characters reveal most of this information through dialogue during the show making it redundant anyway. Having the information come out gradually I think is much stronger as characters discuss it and the audience learns gradually. Tension builds up instead of having more of a rollercoaster effect. There is also a lot of obnoxious and hostile behavior from Indara and Torbin that drag down the content overall in my view. Their characters are unlikeable and unsympathetic. Their early hostility to the girls can get people to believe they had their murders coming. Then we have Sol constantly begging everyone else for permission to do anything - he has no agency whatsoever.
There is no reason why Sol should know a vergence in the force would create life. Why would any Jedi know this? This concept should be related to the dark side as seen in ROTS. We never see any indication from Jedi connecting the force with life creation - just Palpatine when speaking with Anakin. I think the force-life connection should be limited to dark side users like Palpatine tells Anakin.
I know you removed explicit references to the twins creation early on, but I think references to Brendok being a lifeless planet, the witches, and the vergence in the force still functions as an obvious spoiler to the twins being force creations in the end. It feels more powerful when Sol will reveal this later on in dialogue with Mae. Leave the surprise for the end.
Witches indicate the girls have no father. Too much information revealed too early. Makes it too obvious the girls were force creations. It should be revealed as a surprise in the end to Osha and the audience at the same time.
14:10 Indara mentioning the girls are too old. I always felt this was a poor concept from the Phantom Menace that is almost always (correctly) removed from edits of that movie. Anakin, OSHA, and Mae were all very small children. What age is acceptable for Jedi training? Do you need to be a baby?
15:33 Torbin taking Maeâs blood sample. Another bad prequel idea. Do we really need genetic testing for Jedi and strength in the force? It should be mystical and something force users can sense. Blood should be unnecessary.
21:30 Around here the Jedi council look like morons. They were sent to Brendok to investigate, but now apparently they âinterfered too much?â An investigation requires interference. Otherwise what is the point if you are not allowed to do anything?
Child Mae telling Osha she will kill her also eliminates the murder mystery. It is obvious she lives considering we are not shown her dead body, and is the murdererer instead of Osha. A first time viewer can easily believe Osha is the killer if they have no idea she has a sister that will be initially introduced a bit later. In addition, Mae directly telling Osha she will kill her and starting the deadly fire makes Oshaâs restored faith in her sister in the end less believeable.
*Moving on from the opening sequence here:
I think you could have briefly included a disguised Mae looking for Indara offering the bribe. It would take a minute or so. No need for any footage entering the bar.
28:30 I really do not believe the Jedi mind tricks by Yord are needed to intimidate the Neimodians to find Osha. The Jedi look a bit overaggressive and Neimodians overly defensive for no reason. There is no reason for them to have conflict right now. I would jump straight to Yord talking to Osha.
30:10 I would remove the age concern about Osha becoming a Jedi. Again, she was a small child - what is age appropriate for a Jedi? The only concern should be about her inner darkness. This makes the Jedi come across as much more reasonable.
31:30 I would remove the bar owner witness. It comes across as awkward and breaks the tension between Osha and Yord.
35:20 I am not a big fan of the Jedi-senate feud subplot involving Vernestra. I think it distracts from the rest of the story. Also, if Sol agrees with Vernestraâs corrupt views, then this is no longer just one rogue Jedi. Sol should no longer trust Vernestra if she outright tells him to engage in corrupt activities while he genuinely cares for Osha. He looks stupid every time he talks to her later on.
42:30 Cut Jecki questioning Yordâs involvement. Her response is odd âHe is Yord.â
44:40 In the dream with little Mae, having her say she will kill them all again eliminates any murder mystery and surprise.
52:50 Sol asking about Oshaâs tatoo appears is pointless as it is never used to differentiate the twins. Adds nothing to the story.
54:23 If feasible, I would remove the bad behavior and bad acting from the heavy Jedi. I was cringing a lot seeing him squirming with the child who was resisting him. If you could bypass that and make the kid seem like she is cooperating voluntarily. Otherwise, it seems incredibly inappropriate for the Jedi to be aggressive towards children.
1:10:10 I think you can cut Jecki asking the guy about the âbig and hairy wookieâ and cut straight to her reporting what the locals are saying. You benefit with tighter pacing and get the same information without the awkward question.
1:32:45 Do we need the Sith revelation here? Contradicts Phantom Menace outright where Palpatine/Maul mention they will reveal themselves at that later point in time. Besides, the audience can figure out he is a Sith. No need to spell it out.
Qimir states he wants to be hidden, so why make the Sith declaration? If word of that gets out, then Jedi would make him their top target, which is exactly the opposite of his stated goal to remain hidden.
1:43 The voiceover by Indara while Mae is walking appears pointless.
I think a lot of Bazil on the ship sniffing around can be cut. His appearance can be brief. Bazil does not help in any way here.
1:45:56 I am personally opposed to the senate vs Jedi feud. This should be an era of prosperity and peace in the republic. Even 1 senator going after the Jedi at this point would be ludicrous.
1:52:12 Bazil wrestling with Mae was pointless. Nothing was accomplished one way or another. Just an awkward moment and slows down pacing.
2:11:21 Again we have senate vs Jedi. The senator is expressing views without any evidence to support it. His claim that one of them will snap is a blatant reference to Vader. Do we really need that Captain Obvious moment? Most people watching the Acolyte know exactly who he refers to, but why would he have this suspicion?
In no other Star Wars content do we get a hint of this war between the senate and the Jedi. We need to be in an era of peace and prosperity, not paranoia.
2:27:10 - I think when Sol reveals here the âcreationâ of the girls he provides too much specific information. I would remove all references to the witches creating life and the force. I would stick to Sol mentioning an unspecified vergence and the planet. If witches can create life through the force, then we should have seen that more often in the Star Wars universe. Also, I think it would be best to have the life creating force dialogue left to the Sith like Palpatine in ROTS discussing it with Anakin. I think you should leave this portion as vague as possible.
***Also, the Plageuis cameo is best right here after Sol stops talking. This is where he learns for the first time about a vergence creating life and thus creating a bridge here to the prequels. I should note this was an idea implemented in an edit by Movies Remastered.
2:29:25 Again the too old to train. She was a small child!
2:37 I think Vernestra mentioning to the senate that Sol killed all the Jedi should be left out. Something like that should raise serious alarm bells to the senate. Her lying about a cover up by Sol should be enough. I think there could be an assumption that the Jedi were killed fighting by the force using witches instead. Also, the senator demanding the investigation should also be cut. If a Jedi were powerful enough to slaughter several Jedi, then of course the senate should investigate. They would be insane not to do that.
==> I am speculating this is probably outside the scope of what you normally do with your edits, but check out the edit by Movies Remastered where Pip was given dialogue. Lots of character was added and I thought would match up well with the OT 3P0 and R2D2 at their humorous best while providing a nice supporting role to Osha.
I again want to thank the editor for sharing this with me. I do strongly recommend other to give this edit a chance. I know I left what may seem like many differences, but those are just a tiny fraction of what really was a very good edit. It was fun, entertaining, and gripping. Smudgerâs edits of Andor and first 2 seasons of The Bad Batch were also top of the line folks - check those out as well.
Sorry to hear about the hard drive failure.
If feasible, it may be a good idea to store all project files in cloud storage such as your Terabox. Depending on the size of those project files, storage in an external flash drive could work also. If you are already doing something like this, then feel free to ignore.
You put years along with much passion and soul into this. It would be brutal to lose out on all of that hard work.
I prefer TV to movie edits when feasible. In this scenario, you are correct that these episodes largely occur consecutively. Grouping them together will be much easier to digest for a wider audience.
It would be nice to have the traditional crawl and grain, but not as essential.
(Cross-posted from my Reddit account)
I never watched the resistance show before. That leads me to say quite confidentially that your edit was well done. You cut out much (most?) of the show and I clearly understood what was going on. I suppose that also means the show was filled with excess filler material.
I would recommend others to watch this edit. However, this show was clearly meant for children. Unfortunately, an edit cannot fix the overtly childish nature of the show. I really liked the overall narrative of the show. It really grew on me. I wish Disney made a more adult-friendly variant of this show. It almost certainly will be similarly respected as Andor was by the fans.
I want to thank the editor for sharing this and I think others would enjoy this as well as long as you can stomach plenty of childish content.
I liked the edit overall. The middle portion of the edit was the best by far. The opening and closing acts were a bit mediocre, but that is mostly a result of the show being filled with content that was not the greatest.
I still think the closing act could have used a bit more trimming here and there. I really think it would be a good idea if someone subbed out Thrawnâs lines in the show with ones made in Rebels considering we are using the exact same actor (or another one of his roles). Thrawnâs decision making in the show was not the greatest to put it mildly (he could have easily wiped out the 3 heroes with an aerial bombardment for example). Alternative dialogue could help alleviate some of those issues.
I would recommend it, but it is still far from perfect and that is because the source material was not the best.
REVIEW [Cross-posted from Reddit to share in this forum for others to see]
First, I do want to point out that watching this edit was my first experience with the show. I intentionally did not read the changelog to prevent any spoilers. I avoided watching the show itself because of the bad reviews. I gave this one a chance because I always had good experiences watching other edits by Bailey.
Overall, I would strongly recommend watching this edit. It was fun and fast paced. It almost entirely flowed smoothly and logically. I will provide a bit more details, but SPOILERS ahead.
I did read the changelog after watching the edit. There is no question I would not have liked the show had I watched it. Bailey removed what appears to be most of the toxic waste from the show. Super Skrulls? Glad that never came to fruition. As I was watching, I kept thinking to myself I really hope we never come to the point where the Skrulls become super powered. Not everyone needs to be invincible - it removes tension and creates a situation where nothing is at stake.
In a similar manner, I liked how Bailey limited the Harvest DNA the way he did. My feeling towards this was exactly like the Super Skrulls in that I hoped we never reached the scenario of having magical super DNA while watching.
We have an interesting situation with Beto. Bailey wanted to make it appear that he was working with Fury. I never picked up on that. In my view, he seemed to get increasingly frustrated with Gravikâs deranged behavior until he reached a breaking point and killed Gravik with the support of others. There is nothing wrong with Bailey attempted to make the connection with Fury, but I actually think Beto deciding to kill Gravik on his own gives him more agency and a better character arc as opposed to doing this as part of his job. This worked out excellently either way.
I also liked that I never saw Gâiah as Fury. There is no need to have every single character be secretly a Skrull. Bailey also did a nice job of removing extraneous Fury relationships and feuds with others. While watching the edit, I was getting a bit annoyed with the feuding with [Skrull] Rhodey and some of the bickering with Talos. Anymore interactions like that could easily sink the whole show. We already have too much going on with Fury. That was a necessity to tone down everything going on with him.
I have no idea what CGI fight scene was removed, but I can say this show definitely did not need more action considering we got that nearly the entire edit, sometimes graphically. If the CGI fight scene involved super Skrulls, then I am quite grateful that was not there.
There are two major critiques I have. One is with the show itself that is impossible to edit and the other can be edited. A major plot hole for this show is that is makes the Skrulls appear incredibly stupid. If they can shape shift to any human, why not transform to the heads of nuclear powers and order nuclear strikes? The Skrulls had the British prime minister who have nukes, and could also have transformed into the US President and ordered the nuclear strike. Unfortunately, this is not resolvesable.
The other major issue I had was the president seemingly ordering a genocide of the Skrulls that do not leave the earth even though one saved his life. I may need to rewatch to make sure I understood that correctly. If feasible, I think that should be toned down. I think wanting them all registered and killing of innocents should be the only things referenced instead of killing all of them. I think it is fine that he overreacts without crossing the genocide line. That goes too far for me.
==> I want to thank the editor for sharing the edit with me. It was a fun watch and he was right to believe there was a decent show here. I do not believe there is enough material to make it a great show, but is is solid. This is a solid addition to a Marvel collection.
Thank you so much for the hard work in these. Truly much appreciated.
Out of curiosity, does OotP edit have any deleted scenes incorporated into it?
I have not personally watched anything related to the Acolyte yet. However, as I skimmed through some of the changes for the edits of the show, I noticed only the editor Movies Remastered made any hardcore visual and audio edits.
Did you ever consider incorporating some of those into your own (with proper credit provided)?
The redubbed lines work really well to humanize the troopers.
The last âWe better get movingâ should have the voice changed. To me, it sounds like a drunk guy getting strangled. I am sure you can play around with audio editing tools to get that quickly done.
I think my last post was buried at the end of the last page. Here it is, but condensed and edited:
I think this will be my final feedback for the edit and will conclude with season 4, which are still V3 except episode 1. I have nothing for the epilogue nor the Tales of the Rebels.
E1
3:48 trooper (Hark) says stand down Jedi, or she (Sabine) dies. Perhaps remove the word âJedi.â
15:05 Saxon talks to Captain Hark who mentions renegades and their âJedi allies.â Yet again, we have too much widespread knowledge of living Jedi. Less is more.
If the Empire knows Jedi are coming to Mandalore with the trap they set up, wouldnât they make sure to use massive amounts of force to take them out, such as Thrawn (Rukh) or more importantly, a task for Vader?
My impression of the episode was that preparations were made to fight other Mandalorians rather than Jedi. It makes the empire and Mandalorians look incompetent if the only thing they had was Sabineâs weapon and nothing more to combat the Jedi. If the Mandalorians were historic rivals of the Jedi, why not be better prepared?
==> On a more important matter, I do agree with the deaths of Sabineâs brother and mother. However, there is a deafening silence the rest of the episode. It creates an awkward feeling when we do not see Sabine refer to them even one last time.
I wonder if there is a way to repurpose audio or even other [deleted] footage to have Sabine display some form of grief at the end of the episode. Even then, it may appear clunky. I think just a few seconds referring to them in some form (even indirectly) would provide closure to that change.
E2
24:35 Is there a better way for the troopers to become distracted than getting âattackedâ by the small Lothal cats? Professional soldiers should be a bit more competent. Is there an editing trick that can make it appear as though the cats took something like a weapon to give the troopers a legitimate reason to chase them? Maybe audio from a trooper shouting that the cats took something.
27:18 The pilot, in a surprised manner, says, âa jedi, here?â Why does everybody seem to be familiar with the Jedi? The line could be cut straight to Thrawnâs dialogue.
30 The 2 troopers are shown still chasing the little cats. It really makes them look really stupid. This can just be cut completely. Does the Empire really have two doofuses who are easily distracted into chasing small cats instead of defending a top secret military program?
E3
34:29 2 troopers discuss Lothal bats. One of them says to ignore them because they are not as dangerous as the cats. Personally, the whole dangerous cats dialogue annoys me and I would remove that part.
Tiny cats are more dangerous than big flying bats?
E4
56:26 It sounds like Palpatineâs words are some sort of spell in the world between worlds. This comes across as more like magic from the Nightsisters versus a Sith lord using the force. I recommend removing his words. The Sith nor the Jedi never use magic words when they do anything with the force, including when they use lightning.
E5
In this episode, Mart Martin on several occasions stated Ezra entrusted him with a secret mission. I did not keep track of how many times it was said, but I personally think it was overkill for him to keep repeating himself. I do not believe the audience needs to be repeatedly reminded of the secret mission more than once. It minimizes the impact and surprise of bringing in the purrgil at the end.
Can AI dialogue be used to have Shmi Skywalker indicate Anakinâs father died shortly after Anakin was born or possibly abandoned them?
Is there audio of the actress in other roles that can be used here to bypass the virgin birth narrative?
I found a Google Drive link with with what appears to be this edit with the Gungans and Neimodians redubbed under the name Shadow of the Sith. However, you are saying that you no longer have it.
Did somebody else use your work?
I do have two minor nitpicks for this edit. Before that, I must state that your recommended order is the best way to watch the material (excluding the Mortis arc, which was something I never liked and no edit can fix that in my view). A truly magnificent masterpiece.
1-8
5: 38 Ventress force chokes both Anakin and Kenobi simultaneously. I would cut this out. This level of strength and power is never seen by any Sith lords in Sidious, Vader, and Dooku. She should not be able to overpower both of them. She is also injured, which makes her show of strength stand out.
Maybe consider trimming some of the duel. She really should not be able to easily hold off both Anakin and Kenobi.
5-4
35:27 Ahsokaâs force strength prevented Maul from leaving in the ship. She only failed to stop him because she had to save Rex. This is too much power for any force user. We rarely see this accomplished in the Star Wars universe, and was never done successfully.
In ESB, Yoda slowly moved an unmoving ship. Should Ahsoka have more power than Yoda? The other instances this happened, as I recall, were with the inquisitors in Rebels, who failed, and Vader in the Kenobi show who failed due to distraction as well. This creates continuity issues.
I know trimming it out would minimize Ahsokaâs heroics pertaining to Rex, but at this point in the show her heroic nature is well established.
This is borderline banning material Hal. đ
I also really like this idea for a New Hope:
what do you guys think of Vader going into hyperspeed? is it a good idea?
I am intrigued by the concept of a simple check-in. However, there ways you can keep their âmeetingsâ if you decide to pursue that route. There is a Kenobi edit by Krausfadr that uses the first meeting as a dream sequence. I think the second meeting can be morphed into a force vision with the right creativity.
==> I like that Yoda vision you had. The AI voices are not perfect, but getting there. When I first listened, I thought the AI almost resembled the voice actors from the animated Clone Wars series. If you can pull that off, then go for it.
Good luck with the project. I personally prefer full movie formats, but I am certain others prefer this method. Also, you have plenty of good concepts and ideas going for you.
I think this will be my final feedback for the edit and will conclude with season 4, which are still V3. I have nothing for the epilogue nor the Tales of the Rebels.
E1
3:54 trooper (Hark) says stand down Jedi, or she (Sabine) dies. Perhaps remove the word âJedi.â
14:35 Saxon talks to Captain Hark who mentions renegades and their âJedi allies.â Yet again, we have too much widespread knowledge of living Jedi. Less is more.
If the Empire knows Jedi are coming to Mandalore with the trap they set up, wouldnât they make sure to use massive amounts of force to take them out, such as Thrawn (Rukh) or more importantly, a task for Vader?
My impression of the episode was that preparations were made to fight other mandalorians rather than Jedi. It makes the empire look incompetent if the only thing they had was Sabineâs weapon and nothing more to combat the jedi.
We have various instances with Alrich Wren, Sabineâs father, uses the word Jedi with Ezra. I do not consider this a major problem as this is done more privately. Personally, I am 50-50 on whether to keep it or not.
13:40 He asks Ezra if he is a Jedi and he answers, âletâs hope so.â
14:59 âThank you, young Jedi.â
16:25 He refers to Ezra as master Jedi.
==> On another matter, I do agree with the deaths of Sabineâs brother and mother. However, there is a deafening silence and lack of emotion the rest of the episode considering everyone is acting as though they are still alive. It creates an awkward feeling when we do not see the characters, particularly Sabine, in no state of mourning.
I wonder if there is a way to repurpose audio or even other [deleted] footage to have Sabine display some form of grief at the end of the episode. Even then, it may appear clunky.
E2
24:35 Is there a better way for the troopers to become distracted than getting âattackedâ by the small Lothal cats? Professional soldiers should be a bit more competent. Is there an editing trick that can make it appear as though the cats took something like a weapon to give the troopers a legitimate reason to chase them? Maybe audio from a trooper shouting that the cats took something.
27:18 The pilot, in a surprised manner, says, âa jedi, here?â Why does everybody seem to be familiar with the Jedi? The line could be cut straight to Thrawnâs dialogue.
30 The 2 troopers are shown still chasing the little cats. It really makes them look really stupid. This can just be cut completely. Does the Empire really have two doofuses who are easily distracted into chasing small cats instead of defending a top secret military program?
45:08 Rukh calls Ezra a âJediâ after being force-shoved. I would definitely keep this and all future Jedi references from him because he is a specialized assassin. Dealing with Jedi requires someone with superior capabilities.
E3
34:29 2 troopers discuss Lothal bats. One of them says to ignore them because they are not as dangerous as the cats. Personally, the whole dangerous cats dialogue annoys me and I would remove that part.
Tiny cats are more dangerous than big flying bats? We crossed the line into full-blown satire here.
E4
56:26 It sounds like Palpatineâs words are some sort of spell in the world between worlds. This comes across as more like magic from the Nightsisters versus a Sith lord using the force. I recommend removing his words. The Sith nor the Jedi never use magic words when they do anything with the force, including when they use lightning.
E5
In this episode, Mart Martin on several occasions stated Ezra entrusted him with a secret mission. I did not keep track of his many times it was said, but I personally think it was overkill for him to keep repeating himself. I do not believe the audience needs to be repeatedly reminded of the secret mission more than once. It minimizes the impact and surprise of bringing in the purrgil at the end.
Thanks again for sharing this and the great work done. I hope you can get it to a point where you are comfortable enough to say the edit is finalized. However, in the editing world nothing is every truly âfinished.â
A few thoughts for season 3:
E5
13:17 We have an appearance by Bendu after Sabine kicked him. What is the purpose of including him?
No role in the episode besides that 2 second appearance. If you were looking for perfection and nitpicking, you could remove him, but not sure if that is even worth the effort for you.
E7
26 Kallus laughs and [spoiler] tells Thrawn rebels will somehow emerge victorious out of certain defeat. Thrawn arrogantly responds that he is basically superior to Kallus so he will end up victorious. Perhaps some of the spoiler lines can be removed here. Thrawn also looks like a fool if he brags and then loses later on. Kallus really is no position to act arrogantly as he was clearly just tortured by Thrawn. He should not have the confidence to boast, but instead continue to feel afraid until we later see him more positive when dealing with Price who does mess things up.
33:44 Thrawn states âWhat Jedi devilry is this?â in relation to the Bendu storm. I think he should be smart enough to know Jedi - particularly Kanan and Ezra - are incapable of making storms. No logical reason for him to assume the Jedi would suddenly have this power when it never happened in the past.
I think removing the word Jedi from the line would be sufficient. It comes across as a shocked person saying, âwhat the hell?â
==> Your modifications to the Bendu storm along with hiding the voice worked out quite excellently. Thrawn clearly comes across as much more intelligent by figuring out how to stop Bendu without having the blatant hint of looking at him in the sky.
I almost forgot. In the opening text for season 2, episode 11 the text notes:
"Meanwhile, amidst the chaos, Chopper embarks on a personal quest, driven by a desire to reclaim a missing component of his own.
Left behind and determined, he clandestinely boards an imperial cargo ship, forging an unexpected alliance with AP5."
With the way the episode plays out, we do not really find out about Chopperâs personal quest or what this missing component was. That statement confused me as there is no follow-up. I am not sure exactly what recommendations I can make to modify it. Perhaps the personal quest can be driven by a desire to proclaim imperial planetary data or something in that nature. This would flow naturally into the episode as Hera credits Chopper for the planetary coordinates.
Season 2 Notes
E1
32:13 When Ahsoka senses Vader, maybe add a brief flashback right after Vader states that, âthe apprentice livesâ and we see Ahsoka fainting - this could be interpreted as a dream sequence. It could be an emotional moment they had from the Clone Wars such as Ahsoka informing Anakin she is leaving the Jedi order.
I know flashbacks are not a thing in Star Wars, but this might be the rare situation to put one in to add emotional depth. It could really enhance their meeting later on when Ahsoka tells Vader she will not leave him 'this time.'We establish right away Ahsoka feeling guilty and she is having a vision of the past while unconscious.
E4
13:50 Here we see the inquisitors using the force slowing down the ship from leaving. I would cut this and have the rebels escape without restraint. This is a source of a continuity error in Star Wars. The only other times we see this, as far as I am aware, is with Vader in the Kenobi show, and Ahsoka at the end of the Clone Wars. We otherwise never see Jedi or Sith do this on several ocassions when presented with the opportunity. For example, if Vader has the power to do this, why not do it at the end of Rogue One or several moments stopping the Millennium Falcon in the OT?
Heck, Yoda was slowly able to move Lukeâs unmoving ship in ESB, but the inquisitors could stop a ship flying away at full speed?
E5
36:58 Ryder Azadi loudly proclaims Kananâs a Jedi after Kanan ignites his lightsaber. I think this episode is problematic as is with Leia witnessing a lightsaber and Ezra using the force. I do not think she should potentially hear any mention of Jedi until we get to the OT - she does tells Luke in ROTJ that she does not understand his power. When Leia first meets Kanan and Ezra, she tells them she knows them, but I think this is acceptable as I believe Bail would not specifically tell her those two are Jedi. (I am disregarding what Leia experienced in the Kenobi show).
E6
No changes needed, but notably Hera tells Sabine at the end of the episode she sounds more like a Jedi than a Mandalorian, which sets up what happens in the Ahsoka show. This may be something you want to explore further if looking to connect to the other show.
E10
In the Jedi temple Ahsoka has a vision of Anakin scolding her and he transforms into the suited Vader. She feels guilty. This is why the possible dream flashback in the opening episode could be useful to establish her feelings of guilt in the season opener to have it as a theme the entire season instead of waiting all the way towards the end.
E11
10:49 Kanan and Ezra get into a really childish âcommon senseâ argument over Ezra trying to connect with the spiders. I think their argument here can be removed. It comes across as excessively petty and childish to me.
==> Your work on that season finale has really turned into something special. One of the more powerful and gut wrenching content we get in the Star Wars universe.
That is an excellent idea. The show will be much stronger when there is much more sacrifice and pain. You cannot have a small group of rebels competing against a galactic empire without enduring painful losses. I do not recall how the episode ended, but the show should give you a constant feeling that painful sacrifices are being made.
Unfortunately, I also felt the show would have been much stronger had Ahsoka remained dead following her selfless sacrifice against Vader, and Ezra really did sacrifice himself, but their characters are needed for other shows (Mandalorian and Ahsoka).
Please report that to YouTube. Selling this content is exactly the type of thing that would have these giant corporations going after the miniscule fanediting community.
I have some notes regarding your Season 1 edit. This all relates to how this show had an excessive amount of public mentions of Jedi and the force, which contradicts how in the OT almost everyone effectively is unfamiliar with the Jedi and the force other than using it as a form of wishing good luck when stating, âMay the force be with you.â
S1
E1:
32:40 mark Kallus says focus fire on Jedi. Does he need to say the word jedi?
34:10 Kallus tells Ezra that it is over for the Jedi master and apprentice. Why would he be familiar with this concept? At that point, Ezra was not an apprentice and spoils the end of the episode before they become master and apprentice.
34:40 trooper asks Kallus if Kana wasnthe first Jedi he ever seen, and then kicks him off for no reason. Why would this guy have ever seen a Jedi considering it was clones that handled them years before? Also, kicking him off to his death makes Kallus look like a childish idiot.
Publicizing the existence of the Jedi so quickly could instigate rebellion instead of suppressing it like Kallus wants. He should keep it quiet until informing the Grand Inquisitor at the end of the episode. Better to trick Kanan and Ezra that the empire knows nothing about the Jedi identity. Kanan should know if the empire recognizes him as a Jedi he will become public enemy number one. Did he forget the trauma of Order 66?
E3
12:20 troopers discuss if they saw the Jedi master. Maybe just jump to Kananâs jedi mind trick telling them to get moving without mentioning any Jedi. The troopers look really stupid if they have no idea that they are guarding an empty prison cell. Their dialogue also functions as a strong hint or spoiler that this was a trap using a dead Jedi. Better left unstated and ambiguous. More secretive the better.
E4
23:53 Grand Inquisitor mentions sensing Jedi and padawan in his grasp. This is useless bragging dialogue and better to prevent public proclamations as we saw him place the tracker. This makes him look like an idiot when he later fails.
29:04 Grand Inquisitor mentions sensing movement in the force - effectively sensing the jedi from a really far distance in space. That seems too force sensitive and strong for him when no other force user has this power. Just cut straight to the imperial referencing the tracker location.
E6
5:10 Kallus mentions inquisitor believes too much emphasis on Jedi (again too many people familiar with Jedi). Maybe his only line should be focus on the rebels as a group. Dialogue a bit awkward. Maybe get rid of the scene altogether because it spoils their plan to trick and trap the rebels. Better to let Ezra bring it bring it up the next scene. Same information provided.
9:45 Kallus calls Kanan Jedi knight in front of a crowd and then calls Ezra âpadawan Jabbaâ.
17:09 Kallus says blast the Jedi while Kanan slowing down the fan. Do we need the Jedi reference?
E7
3:25 Discussion over Jedi. Tarkin mentions they are all gone. This is something to keep in. This was publicly stated in front of various soldiers. This fits better with OT.
6:20 Tarkin acknowledges Jedi and mentions whispers in the streets about theâallegedâ Jedi. Not sure what to do about this, but again too many people aware of the Jedi if it includes the common residents of Lothal. However, it does imply that this is only rumor at that point.
18:05 Tarkin references Kanan as Jedi in question in front of a group. No need to publicly call him that.
20: Tarkin tells Kanan they will determine if he is the Jedi he is âclaimedâ to be. Probably fine to keep this in.
28: Ezra reveals Jedi identity to the criminals. I think this is probably okay as the criminal underworld would not quietly spread word of this.
[EDIT]: A few AI generated lines might help here. Potentially indicating the hunt for the Jedi will be more secretive to prevent news spreading of their existence.
I hope some of this helps. Your edit really brought out the strength of the show and characters. While it will never fit perfectly with the OT, a bit more consistency would help. Heck, we all know the entire Star Wars universe is packed with contradictions and inconsistencies everywhere. Good luck completing this project.
