doubleKO

Here are my pretentious reviews, originally intended for imdb. As it turns out I was too pretentious to even sign up there.

Godzilla (1998)

King of Monsters... EAT SOMEONE DAMMIT!

Awww... Godzilla doesn't wanna hurt anyone... he's so sweet. What a load of bollocks. This movie is okay, but I expect any giant lizard that takes up the mantle of Godzilla to be a frickin' badass. Godzilla is an allegorical monster that represents the evils of nuclear destruction... or so I'm told. Where is the wanton destruction, the atomic fire breathing, the picking up of trains and devouring of passengers within? Where is the terror? This dude just wants to eat fish and run away. The majority of destruction comes from the dumb-ass military that destroy their own city trying to shoot the creature; even Godzilla's rampage at the end is only in retaliation for the death of his offspring, giving the audience no reason to cheer for the death of this pathetic giant iguana. Worth watching if only for the reasonable CGI and the scene where Jean Reno pretends to be an American soldier. 5/10

The Birds (1963)

Suspense you say?

I like to pretend that Melanie gets away unseen after pranking Mitch in return for their initial meeting and has a good laugh about it back in Frisco, knowing she will run into him again - a delightful first act for an unfinished comedy. The rest of it has less suspense than just about any thriller I have ever seen. Disjointed sequences work to disorient the viewer but there is no dramatic progression that builds tension save the brief restaurant scene which is fairly ham-fisted. The only suspense in the cigarette smoking scene is "When will this horrible song end?" and the relationship between Melanie and Lydia is obviously supposed to involve tension but is never adequately explored or given spark. Reviewers saying that the movie holds up today are either squinting from behind rose-coloured glasses or have their film student hats on too tight. 5/10

Jaws (1975)

The most affective movie ever made.

The movie responsible for a pervading world-wide attitude to sharks that continues to this day. The horror of this movie is in the knowledge that for the most part, it is possible. Unlike Hitchcock's The Birds which is a fantastical idea, humans are attacked by great white sharks, which can grow to (within 6 feet or less) the size of Jaws' 25 foot monster. Expertly cut, with arguably the most identifiable and terror-inducing score ever conceived, Jaws is must-see. I have wondered if shark experts and conservationists Ron and Valerie Taylor would still have agreed to shoot the real shark footage had they known the resounding effect the movie would have on society's perceptions, and the number of great whites and other sharks that would be destroyed as a result for years to come. 9/10

Arachnophobia (1990)

A+ B-movie.

Arachnophobia is the best of its ilk. Although basically a formulaic creature feature, it is as much a tongue-in-cheek comedy and family romp suitable for most kids that are comfortable with Jurassic Park. It is not a horror movie that will traumatise you unless you have a serious fear of spiders. The movie injects some sense of reality by using spiders of ordinary size, which actually helps add to the fun. The cast is unremarkable, save the highlight of the film; John Goodman's exterminator, who at one point sounds suspiciously like he would rather be hunting gophers. Arachnophobia is definitely not to be taken seriously as a scary movie and it is not intended to be. It is however, an enjoyable and satisfying diversion. 7/10

TV's Frink said:

doubleKO said:

Holy crap, five people in a row have spelled "seamless" correctly. Take that FE.org!

 ???

Reviewers there love the word, but only about half of them can spell it.

Holy crap, five people in a row have spelled "seamless" correctly. Take that FE.org!

For the two other people or thereabouts who like hip-hop out there:

The Way We Do It - Jurassic 5

First new jam from J5 since they split in 2007. Caught their reunion tour in Sydney, it was sweet! Fingers crossed for a new album.

1. Raiders of the Lost Ark
2. Last Crusade
3. Temple of Doom

I am yet to be convinced of the existence of a fourth movie, I still have a couple of fanedits to check out. From what I've seen though, it's almost as if there are crappy CGI sequences that are deliberately crafted in such a way that they can't be edited out without leaving big holes.

Nope, at least until the mid 80s Star Wars was liked by almost everyone. You were more likely to be called a weirdo if you hadn't seen it. It was part of growing up, like learning to ride a bike. Mother's basement type jokes were generally reserved for the Star Trek fans.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool...

It turns out Porthos is my favourite character on Enterprise. And I'm a cat person.

If iTunes were a man, I would stab him to death.

I generally picture him driving around with a bobcat in the back of his car :P

Gary Cole. Didn't even know his name for years, but one of my all-time favourite actors.

It kind of upsets me when actors with comedic chops don't play to that strength and vice-versa. George Clooney is freaking hilarious, and if you don't believe me you haven't seen O Brother, Where Art Thou? Robin Williams is not, but was brilliant as a creepy villain in Insomnia and One Hour Photo.

I followed the link to R5-D4's wiki and what the hell is this?

There is a continuity error in Episode IV, involving R5-D4. Just after the red droid's motivator has blown, C-3PO puts a good word in for R2. For a second, we are shown R2, with R5 inexplicably replaced beside him. The next shot shows the Jawas running over to retrieve the droid from where he stands (correctly) next to Luke and Threepio. The explanation for this is that the act of sabotage by R2 was edited out of later versions of the film, the "continuity error clip" was shown seconds before the act as R2 looks around to see if anyone is watching him. This scene was in versions of the film shown at U.K. Cannon Cinemas (Sheffield) in 1978.[source?]

No source... just another faulty memory like the grappling hook?

^^ You really should use shorter paragraphs if you want to hold the reader's attention. The web is different from printed media and needs to be broken up more often. Try to limit your paragraphs to five or six lines or split them up once they go over this length. Not picking on you, just offering a possible explanation for Dominic's reaction. Most people won't have a problem reading longer posts if they are structured with a little more 'breathing room'.

Hey, it's that guy wot started the threat! Hey guy!

;)

team_negative1 said:

poita said:

That wouldn't offer any protection of any kind in the real world though.

 It's offered us plenty, and we are less visible than you are. Since you've publicly posted pictures of where of you live, and what you have.

We are almost anonymous. Nothing can be linked to the several members of our team, except what is known through this account.

Regardless of this, we are committed to being the only restoration effort with multiple copies of each film, and bringing the highest quality restorations possible with our knowledge and resources.

Team Negative1

Bla bla bla. Why do you feel the need to turn it into a competition? The team is obviously community-minded since they have already shared their work with Harmy and others, so I don't understand this attitude. You expressed frustration at people bringing up the issue of your scofflaw account, then proceed to practically brag about it...

It's funny how many of your posts have the exact same recipe of egotism/neediness/obliviousness that negative1's did. I'm sure most people don't doubt the team's resources or commitment, though I'd wager more than a couple doubt the mental coherence of their spokesperson.

I was completely taken in by this one, it's fantastic:

Friend: Did you hear about that actress that was stabbed to death? Reese...

Me: Witherspoon?

Friend: With a knife, you idiot.

CatBus said:

While using Google Translate to help sync the official Simplified Mandarin translation to the GOUT, I got my favorite mangled translation so far.

As our heroes are escaping Mos Eisley, C-3PO says: "I forgot how much I hate Star Trek."

Ha! Did Google Translate mangle it, or is that in the official subs? If so, do you think it was deliberate? Was it capitalised (or the Mandarin equivalent)?

Keep up the good work guys, even though many of us only speak English we appreciate your efforts to bring the OT to a wider audience.

lovelikewinter said:

emanswfan said:

Disney claiming a slightly modified 1997 version as the original would drive me insane.  I really don't believe they'd do that on us.  It would be much more work, but even if it isn't THIS release that is the exact originals, atleast sometime within the next decade they will.

If Disney is recreating the originals, then this would be a logical first step.  Then you go back and find the original effects shots, either in negative or interpositive form and work them into a releasable effort.  If we are getting them in 2015 that step might not have happened yet.

If it is done this way, won't things be missed? I don't want a half-assed Despecialized. IMO a proper OOT release should be constructed entirely from pre-1997 elements to avoid any SE contamination. If the negatives are full of George's scribbles, wouldn't it be far safer to create them from an IP/print whatever?

Were there visual changes for the THX upgrade? I seem to remember something about matte lines being removed from the speeder windows?

I had a bad feeling from the first attack; blue began with an unnecessary spin turning his back to his opponent and it just ramped up from there. While quite impressive from a technical standpoint (especially some of those flips considering the heavy-looking boots and the fact that it is on freaking sand) this just seems over the top to me. I think flipping during lightsaber fights should be left to the prequels and fan films such as this.

JEDIT: I would have liked the ending a tiny bit more if he had switched both sabers off.

A still or two of the Leia hologram would be great.

Thanks poita!

Because it is annoying and confusing is why I brought it up. Either create your own separate accounts like the forum rules dictate or stop taking issue with being mistaken for negative1. It's in your username FFS.

I understand that due to discussion involving a physical location that your paranoid need to make these distinctions probably kicked into overdrive, but you are the one/s drawing the most attention to it.

team_negative1 said:

digitalfreaknyc said:

I wasn't talking about Harmy. I was talking about -1

You're referring to a previous member of the team. I am nowhere near there.

So you keep saying. If other team members didn't want to be called -1 for short they should have called the team something else.

I wish more people would preserve their avatar. Especially DuracellEnergizer - my mouse wheel is already broken, so no problem there ;p

Your mom said to say I could have... just one peanutbuttersquare, but not until after they cool down!

Holy hard drives Batman!