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darthpreston

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14-Oct-2004
Last activity
7-Nov-2017
Posts
99

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Post
#215119
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/215119/action/topic#215119
Time
Shane, that's the idea.........i'm not sure if we had already set in stone to cut that sequence, but I sure was going to bring it up. Your right, there is no reason to have that scene in, unless you feel like showing that cute side to the ewoks and the bland acting from Carrie Fisher. It should be cut, just like many of the jar jar scenes are cut. We've also already talked about how to change the ewoks for the movie earlier in the thread. We plan to change their dialect (sound) from some sort of samuri kind of sound and give them different battle cries as oppose to "WOOT WOOT WOOT". They will have a different theme music which will shy away from the "playful at times" track of the original.......not to mention we were thinking of adding in extra combat shots with the ewoks from the ewok movie dvd's (there are several cuts that can blend seamlessly with a little color correction). So the ewoks are definately in need of fixing and we should start by taking out that entire scene with leia/wickett.
Post
#215102
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/215102/action/topic#215102
Time
Good points eric, however as far as "big openings"...........Episode II showed 3 ships flying slowly and flipping around into the coruscant atmosphere, not very exciting at all. And in ESB (originally) they open with a star destroyer popping out a couple of probes, once again not as exciting as the blockade runner being blasted or the battle of coruscant. We're also going to try and add vaders arrival on DS II to the beginning of ESB. Therefore it would be redundant to have both movies start off on the exact same situation. Panning to dagobah is to set the mood of the movie and connect the audience with the fact that luke has been training for the "in between" time and is probaby now a formidable jedi. It will be easier to see him run off and face Jabba and his goons to get han solo back and gives a better introduction to Luke in general , as opposed to being a hologram from R2 (which is cool too). But it's still open for discussion...
Post
#214913
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/214913/action/topic#214913
Time
Everybody also needs to realize that a partially exploding death star sequence would be incredibly difficult to create without having alot of money spent on the special effects. That is something that cannot be pulled off in a "professional movie" fashion with domestic computer software. Even if we had someone to do that, it is going to take a long time to create that whole sequence considering you cannot use any raw footage of the actually death star explosions.

Plus, personally speaking I feel that the idea of a partially destroyed death star that still hangs around is not any better than the idea of a second , more powerful, one being built through the film timeline. Like people have stated before, if the death star in ANH only has it's ass blown off at the bottom, then there is no celebration at the end, the empire is just going to finish up some damage, and to me would feel very anticlimatic. This needs to represent the first major defeat of the empire of the war with the rebels. Since episode III we will see the empire taking over, all the jedi dying, the galaxy has lost their republic rights, haha the set designs and spaceships are turning to crap and the death star is a new super weapon that would only spell immediate doom for the rebellion to succeed. However, the destruction of the first DS makes it like the galaxy has some hope (A New Hope) and that the rebellion will continue fighting with their new rush of victory. Everybody new , even when ANH originally came out, that they didn't destroy the entire empire, or that all the bad guys were now defeated and it's celebration all over the galaxy. So there is nothing wrong at all with blowing it up entirely and creating the "second DS" out of ESB.

After the DS 1 explodes, following that with the emp/vader chat from ESB is the best way to keep a "saga" flow to the plot and retain the idea of the original. I feel this is a great idea anyway because this specific chat with vader/palps doesn't feel right in the spot it is in for ESB. WHy would they now be talking about Luke and the death star? ALl this time later, it's obvious to the audience already. Then the emperor would be missing from ESB, which is a good idea. Considering that there are no plot movements that specifically involve palps you can't even notice he isn't there. There are focused plots on almost every character and makes a better build for his appearnce in ROTJ.

The very last shot of ESB would include lukes line from ROTJ "I'll meet you back at the fleet.............I have a promise to keep, for an old friend".........then ESB ends. ROTJ could open with Luke on Dagobah (using the planetary view from the ROTS deleted scene of yoda flying to dagobah) and ending with the line from obiwan "they do you credit, but may be used to serve the emperor".....then we swipe to the Emperor arriving on DS II and the first appearnce from vader for the movie. CC has laid out MANY different oppurtunitys of sequencing for the first half of ROTJ. They are all so good that i'm hoping we'll have time to do every version and decide the best flow from the mix.

As far as how mustafar could blend in with the OT movies. I understand that it could be useful considering that the DS 1 was shown being constructed next to the planet in ep.III. This doesn't mean that we have to include Mustafar in the movies however, and if it was to be anywhere then perhaps at the alternate ESB opening of the DSII we could see the planet mustafar in the corner. However I think it would be better to introduce the planet Endor while we're at it. Plus endor is the planet operating the deflector shields , which seems so important a mission to destroy in ROTJ. But i'm just not sure that this idea of changing the Luke/emp/vader scenes to coruscant can be seamless at all. Not only are you guys talking about repainting the windows to include a nighttime coruscant, but you would also have to create several shots of this building they are in (areal like shots to we can understand where they are, like the tower shots on DS II), plus you'll need shots of the different ships approaching and landing through the orbit of the planet and into the city. Once again we're not talking small effects, we're talking huge CGI and/or models. It is a fansastic "idea" , but there is really no way we are going to get that kind of f/x work on these edits............we havn't even had any volunteers to help us rotoscope lightsabers yet.

As far as writing down the ideas to all the movies that we are set in stone on..........that is a good idea, a very ambitions idea but a good one. This chat has been going on for soo long that I myself have forgotten a few directions to which we're going. Considering that we are still planning to edit Episode one first (am I right CC?) then we will need to discuss a few things in particular that have altered our original intentions of the edit. I don't mean to get off topic of ROTJ alterations, however here are thing things that CC laid out a few pages ago, but we havn't really had a good discussion on how to fix these problems, or how it will effect the overall plot if they cannot be fixed..

Commander Courage wrote:
Due to various constraints, we've had to cut a couple of plot points we were hoping to change: Qui-Gon talking to Anakin through the Force, and Nute going back to the control ship and dying in the explosion. There are simply no quiet shots of Anakin in the cockpit which could be used for him listening to Qui-Gon. He's always talking or looking around very fast. A "flying back to Naboo" shot also proved nearly impossible to create, and that would also be necessary for the Force-talk. Maybe in the inevitable Special Edition we can work out a way to accomplish that, but for nw unfortunately it's a no-go. Also, the killing of Nute required a couple of SFX shots that could have been completed, but we could never resolve Padme's plot line to our satisfaction. Ideally there would be a shot of her and her group entering an empty throne room and a line "We're too late. They're gone," but it just doesn't exist. Without some kind of major reworking of the Padme/Nute throneroom scene, which is beyond our ability, this would end Padme's plotline at "Put down your weapons. They win this round." That's just not a satisfactory conclusion. So Nute will live an be captured as per the original version (which will make subtle things in II and III work much better).

Going back to the alien dialogue, InfoDroid had planned to use voice actors. I suppose we could still go this route, but personally I think we'd be much safer using a foriegn language track. Japanese would be the preferable language, as it's almost unrecognizeable. That would work for the Nemoidians anyway. The Gungans are a huge dilemma, any thoughts on them would be welcome. The idea behind using a foriegn language track and not dialogue from say, "The Passion of the Christ" (which I thought worked great in the clips ID posted), is that we could use proper nouns like "Jedi," "Sith," "Amidala," etc. This is also possible of course with voice actors, but again, I'm hesitant to use fan voices. Grievous/Maul being the only exception, and yes, that IS happening in this edit. He has only two lines in this Episode I, both coming in the hologram report scene.

As for special effects shots that are necessary:
-Possible new opening shot, something other than a pan down to the Republic cruiser (suggestions welcome).
-Grievous's Shuttle from Episode III, serving as Nute's shuttle here, approaching Theed. This will serve as a transition to Nute and Rune departing the shuttle (which has been moved to later in the movie).
-I'd LOVE to have to shot of the Royal Starship IN hyperspace. I'm not sure if this can be accomplished (suggestions welcome).
-The Royal Starship approaching Tatooine. An example of this shot can be seen in a screenshot posted by TJ. This utilizes the first shot of ANH flipped upside down, though I think it best if the moons were painted out so it's not instantly recognizeable as been cut-and-paste from ANH.
-Grievous/Maul talking to the Nemoidians via hologram. G/M would be sitting in the chair, matted over Sidious, with his original hologram painted out. TJ completed an early test of this which looked promising and was very effective.


And Info Droid and TJ never have contacted us past the moment they made their departure known, so we're still left with alot of material to gather or find on our own. But everyone is coming up with very good ideas and the brainstorming is getting better. If anyone has any suggestion on the points listed above, now would be a good time to suggest.
Post
#210126
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/210126/action/topic#210126
Time
Well, this isn't exactly a thread which is designed to talk about Lucas' further changes to the star wars saga. There are places on theforce.net forums for this specifically. This thread is based on an ongoing project of altering the PREQUEL trilogy into a cohesive partner to the ORIGINAL UNTOUCHED trilogy. The only gigantic exception being made is that ROTJ will be re-designed (similarly to our prequel edits) to mimic the spirit of A New Hope and The Empire Strikes back. If you read the other pages on this thread and feel like you have some ideas to contribute to that, that by all means please share.........but there are other forums for talks of more CGI, replacing actors, fixing this and that for the Original trilogy. That is going with the view of "Making the originals look like the prequels".............we are trying to make the prequels look more like the originals. After all it is "original trilogy" dot com.

And I might add that CC and I have discussed various ways of altering ANH and ESB in "slight" ways to feature plot points which were dodged when looking at the 6 movies all together. For instance there are ways to add the emperor into ANH through use of dialog tracks delted from Ep.1 and photo imaging. And as discussed earlier, there might be an alternate beginning to ESB to feature the Death Star II into the story sooner. Considering that luke will be on dagobah at the beginning of ROTJ (insuated training from between the 2 movies) then we might add the line "i've got a promise to keep, for an old friend" at the end of ESB as the camera shows Lukes back to the camera and the iris out of the group looking out into space. And we are trying to find people to help on rotoscoping the sabers for all the edits for a number of reasons........plus Grevious/Maul may need a different color line up than green/blue mixtures....coming from a doublebladed red saber.

Post
#209255
Topic
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side (the TM edit) (Released)
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/209255/action/topic#209255
Time
That is an amazing tranformation of that scene now, it adds a more "adult" dialouge tone to the whole cloning situation.

However, Jim, Mark, or Robert Fett........I don't think i'm swinging with that. I mean the name Luke is cool on it's own. Ben is not necessarily his name, and Han is not a natural "earth" name at all. Lando, Leia, Bobba, Jabba, vader, anakin.......these arn't reflective of average "joe" names on earth. I think Jango is a REALLY REALLY cool name for Star wars. However, what if you took away "Fett" and simply made him Jango? Just so there is not soo much "Fett" relation all over the saga. Just an idea..
Post
#208457
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/208457/action/topic#208457
Time
The only I don't understand is how it makes it more sad and tragic if she LIVED.....as opposed to if she DIED. And he killed her......I mean, so far in our editting ideas for episode III we decided to alter the moment of her death because of the fatal force choke from anakin.....as opposed to a "broken heart". It's interesting to change up anything, but I just don't see how it's more sad if her story disappeared after her staged death. I find the fact that she had to die to be the extra "layer" of emotion to the film...next to anakin turning to vader.
Post
#207455
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/207455/action/topic#207455
Time
Hey Guys, just wanted to let everyone know that things are still "on hold" for our editting of Episode 1. We're still waiting to aquire certain software, plus learning how to use it when it arrives. TJ and InfoDroid left so unexpectedly and they had material that was needed for the sound mixing for the edits. So, we're also trying to find certain pieces of soundtrack and effects. However, we still have most of the movie planned out and are going with the plan that has been discussed throughout these pages. Things are in pre-production, but it's going to be a slow production process. We still intend to hold the same standards of using the style and mythos feeling of the OT to mimic , as TM has proclaimed with his edit. And we are still intending to make this as fluid and real as if you weren't watching an edit at all...in fact you'll be watching an entirely better episode 1.

So, just letting everyone know that we are waiting on the materials to do this right and are planning the process while we're waiting.
Post
#203005
Topic
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side (the TM edit) (Released)
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/203005/action/topic#203005
Time
TM, I think you have solved the problem of needing more combat footage for the geanosis scenes. I always knew that Dune footage would work, but those shots work soo well I that I almost couldn't tell the difference. All of the shots blended perfectly together. I would throw in the shot of Mace charging with the clone troops right in the middle of that sequence of armored guys doing combat. And if you add in mace's BLUE lightsaber to that fatality, that would add some nice flow I think. But that does look really good. Have you tried any footage from David Lynchs' Dune? There might be some more alternate takes to use.
Post
#199796
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/199796/action/topic#199796
Time
While that is an interesting suggestion, I would personally want to keep it green. That is one of the great things that came out of ROTJ imagery was the green lightsaber, IMO. Plus it breaks the visual monotony of blue saber duel in ROTS, Blue sabers in ANH, ESB, then ROTJ....why so much blue? Neat idea though, would be a cool bonus feature if anybody wanted to take the strenuous time to re-color it in every shot.
Post
#197702
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/197702/action/topic#197702
Time
Yeah Guy, thats kind of what I was thinking as far as using alien dialouge. Just find real foreign languages spoken by REAL people and use voice manipulaters to alter the pitch and tone in various ways. I think that the ewoks were even recording from using real tribal civilizations in the amazon or something. So it's definately a star wars tradition. I guess that Hutese is the only real star wars created dialouge for the saga, am I correct? I think if you found anything that sounded something like Huttese than it should definately be considered.
Post
#197629
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/197629/action/topic#197629
Time
Yeah, I would just like to add to what CC has already said. We have been coming up with MANY great ideas to edit all six of the films into a connecting saga, as we have discussed. We are dedicated to finishing this thing to the end and will continue with our plan of finishing ep.1. We are going to need the f/x shots that TJ has worked on as well as the musical cues that Info droid has worked on. However, fear not, we are going to keep working on this thing.....it is our desire to see these movies in a fashion that the fans would be pleased with , as well as ourselves. Consider this a rebirth of the line-up and a chance to analyze all the details needed to complete the project. But CC is going to take command and deal with the editting aspect of the project, and I thank him for that. Although this will only slow down the process a bit, it is NOT the end and these edits WILL be completed. We may continue with the discussion....


Don't worry, these edits will knock your socks off when their done.
Post
#193833
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/193833/action/topic#193833
Time
"A small idea for ANH: The scene of Tarkin listening to that officer talking about the abandoned rebel base...shouldn't that be a hologram instead? ANH seems to be the only movie that doesn't have any kind of hologram!"

Help me obi-wan kenobi, your my only hope?????

Seriously though, I think it would be cool to show a holo of an imperial officer on the table, however at the moment we are discussing a "variation" on that idea. But that is a good one!
Post
#175603
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/175603/action/topic#175603
Time
I'll post some re-written scenes tomorrow, it's actually very time consuming once you go through soo many ideas. Just to make things clear, i've read some discussion about 3Po's role in the movie and I can't see if we have made a decision of either :

A. Trimming his role and dialog to be more "Classic Trilogy" style
B. Trim his presence from the film entirely

Obviously, I need to know which way we're going before I can tackle the flow of the scenes. Sorry for the wait though, I've got to hand it to MTHaslett, it's a tricky task. Very rewarding however. So, what to do with golden rod?

Post
#174167
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/174167/action/topic#174167
Time
Hey guys, just a few quick notes about some ideas. FIrst of all, I love everybody's discussion, this helps work everything out in the long run. As far as the 3P0 scene. I still think that it is worth moving till after dinner. I understand the point of a dinner preperation, however I did include a shot of the sandstorm outside between the cuts so that it would appear as if "time is passing by" and then we are inside at the dinner table. For most of these indoor scenes on tatooine, we don't have to ASSUME which point in the day any of these scenes are taking place, as long as there is no outside view. So the eating scene could be during the middle of the day as soon as they arrived. It would be worth while to gather anakin's character during his nice performances at the dinner scene as opposed to his "golly gosh" self during the 3P0 scene. So , to me, the 3po scene does NOT feel natural after the introduction bit. But that is just my opinion. However, I understand what your saying CC about the timetable on tatooine. There really is no way around making this a 3 day delay from the other plots. I wish we could squeeze it into 2 days, but that would seem a little silly having soo many things happen in one day. You would have to push the plot all the way to QuiGon making a deal with watto on the first day. Although I really think that it's weird spending soo much time there. Day and night and day and night and then the last day............such a lull.

Greedo scene? Hmmm, was kind of neat the first time I saw it, but the acting and cinematography are lame. It is kind of pointless as well, its just a way of showing a character from the classic trilogy for the sake of nostalgia.....I don't really like that either. I would say drop this scene, not much can be salvaged from it. Even Lucas didn't like it.

Sluggo, I see what your saying about all of the 3P0 scenes in the movie........however, if we change his dialouge then that will completely change the attitude and sound of his character for this movie. I think that keeping 3P0 in the movie gives it that very nice "Star Wars" feeling, and without him it just wouldn't be the same. I like that 3P0 is involved, I just thougt all of his dialouge was very weak and lacked any delivery. We can change that however, hopefully.

Watto's deal with freeing anakin: I'm going to try and write a version of those scene that would flow to the degree of saving the "Free Anakin" deal for the last scene. I think that it is worth TRYING at least, if it cannot be conceived well....then we'll go back to the original flow. But I think it can be added later as a surprise, and would add more mystique to QuiGon. But there are SEVERAL trims that will have to go into all of the "anakin is free" footage.

Darth Maul arrives. I have a question. Won't it seam a little odd that out of nowhere in this story, a ship comes from outspace, lands on the planet and out steps this guy with a red face and black robes with a bunch of robots scattering into the desert? Don't you think we should have a scene constructed of the nemoidians sending him off on his mission? Keep in mind that we can use the dialouge from the scene on the coruscant balcony and footage of the nemoidians talking to "sidious" with his back turned. Or someone could redub the dialouge for darth maul, making more possiblities. I can do a very good imitation of Maul, but I lack the equipment to record it. I wonder what I would need. Anyway, I thought it would seem odd if this was Darth Mauls introduction into the movie, just plop, out of nowhere.........and there really is no other chance to add ANY more story to his character, we have already cut out alot of his moments from earlier in the movie.

I'm working on some scripted scenes, i'll post them as soon as I'm done. Good discussion!



Post
#173896
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/173896/action/topic#173896
Time
Hey guys! Well, I have decided to help out with the forward writing process of this edit. I can tell you that it is a little harder than I thought it was, but I think I'll get the hang of it. Right now, I'm just going to throw out several ideas I have had for the next few scenes.....once we have discussed some issues I will put the whole sequence in script form (just as Mathasslet has done) and i'll post it for review.

The next scenes in the movie involve discussions at

The skywalker den
the skywalker dinner table
Anakin's room
Pod Race hangars
Wattos junkshop
Obiwan in the ship (a scene we have moved to earlier in the script)
and of course in the original cut there were scenes with neimodians, sidious and maul (all of which I think are being removed for this edit)
Then , Bam, the podrace.

I think it's easy to say that this began as the slowest part for the movie the first time that I saw it. I couldn't believe how long we were kept on tatooine hanging out with anakin's friends, watchig quigon mack on shmi, and the wonderful antics of jar jar binks. As trooperman stated, the use of SLOW MOTION scenes is not necessary, however, my idea is to take certain scenes or movements from the actors and "slow" the movement of the action down a bit. So instead of a quick head turn from a character, it would be a smooth head turn, just has a more dramatic visual......you'll see what I mean. Hopefully it can be accomplished to the point where it won't even be noticed that the shot is slowed down.....just so that the shot looks "better" somehow. We will really need it in the edit so that we can make performances from scenes that weren't there originally. For instance I would love to try and craft a scene of anakin staring a darth maul for a few seconds as he begins to fight the jedi in the hangar.

Therefore, there is ALOT to fix with the next 30-40 minutes of the movie. I'm going to discuss a few scenes and some ideas I have for trimming them up or making them better.

Last time that we let off in the script Anakin was leading his friends through the sandstorm into their hut.

-Show the clip of them entering the house, anakin shaking the dust off and cut the clip right before "mom, mom i'm home". Add in an audio clip of shmi saying "anakin?" (from the "anakin its your bedtime" scene).
-Cut to shot of her turning around the corner with anakins audio of "These are my friends, mom".
-Cut to shot of quigon introducing himself (for the first time)
"I'm qui-gon gin"
-Then cut to a full screen shot of Qui-Gon "your son was kind enough to offer us shelter"

-NOW, cut to scene of the sandstorm outside and a quick cut to the dinner scene right after.

I feel that this connects the moment more smoothly. I'd like to save the scene with anakin, padme, and 3p0 for AFTER dinner sometime. It would feel more interesting if they got to the plot of what to do a lot faster than the original cut portrayed. Who feels like bobbing along with anakin to the next room? We want to see what Qui-Gon is going to do, is he going to hang out? What plan does he have? That is what the dinner scene will reveal.

-For the dinner scene, I think it would be beneficial to borrow several cuts that Magfan made with his edit. He created a VERY smooth cut for the scene, however, there is one thing that I thought could be elaborated on.

When it gets to the point where anakin looks at qui-gon and says " your a jedi knight arn't you?" (add in a little bit of that "magical" sounding Star wars music)
-Take the shot of qui-gon looking up at him and use the "slow down" method so it appears that he's a little more shocked by the statement.
-Cut back to anakin looking seriously at Qui-Gon
-Cut back to shot of quigon continuing "what makes you think that?"
-Cut to shot of anakin "I saw your lazer sword" , cut out "only jedi carry that kind of weapon".
-Shot of qui "perhaps I killed a jedi and took it from him".
-Cut to a quick response from anakin " No one can kill a jedi". Cut out, "i don't think so".
-Cut to the shot of Shmi sighing and looking down
-Cut back to Qui-gon "I wish that were so"

Then I would play the rest of the scene out as MagFan has editted. I will post the details of that a little later in script form so that it can be read smoothly. But those are a couple of quicky's I had to spice up the moment a bit.

After dinner, I would try throwing in the 3PO scene.
-Cut to shot of artoo rolling into the room
-Remove all dialouge from the beginning of the scene, it looks better with the visual of anakin removing the cloak off of 3po with music playing through it. Since the characters heads are turned away, you can't even see them talking. Therefore you can remove all of the banter between anakin and padme for the beginning.
-Start the dialouge off with "he's a protocal droid to help mom"
-Cut out "watch"
-Show anakin pushing the button, 3po clicks awake. I think that most, if not all, of 3po's dialouge should be changed for this scene. There is plent of material to go through in the radio dramas (which I need to look into) and should create 3po to be a little more "bitchy" about not having an eye, not being able to walk properly, and of course meeting the rust bucket R2 for the first time. Their meeting should have been funnier, why was it not funny at all?
-As 3po sits up , show the shot of anakin reching for the other eye socket , cut out the "whoops" and clip the scene before he goes "yeah".
-After 3po gets up, show the scene of anakin mentioned "when the storm is over, i'll show you my racer". Cut out " i'm building a pod race".
-And of course an attempt at new dialouge between r2 and 3po would be a nice change. Considering there is no visual reaction between either one of them, this could be accomplished.

Now, there are scenes involving the nemoidians and the sith. I have been told that since sidious is not a part of this movie, the nemoidians will have to be the "break away" from the tatooine scenes. Hence, here is the dilemma for this part of the script. We HAVE to get off of tattoine for a moment. We have been on the desert planet one scene after the next. Since we can't use the scene of Darth maul talking with sidious, or the hologram scene with the sith and nemoidians............we're kind of at a loss for other story to expand upon at this moment. However, nothing is set in stone, scenes can be arranged whereever they can be. Maybe we could show the scene of Nute Gunray with sio bibble (old grey haired guy) on Naboo. Either way, I feel we need a transition very soon in the script to get elsewhere in the story.

Now we have the scene with Qui-Gon making the "deal" with watto.
-I think that watto should have a theme to play with his presence. Perhaps something a little demanding, like Jabba's music....just to add a bit of intimidation to the character.
-There are plenty of weird reaction shots from anakin that should be removed. The boy just makes the weirdest looks in this scene. Kinda frumpy, I don't know how to explain it. I would also use the music as a tool in the scene. For instance, when quigon shoots out his proposal, have the music shift so that it grabs attention of the dialouge.
-There seems to be plenty of steam blowing around in the background......but not enough sound effects for it. Perhaps we should add some more "noise" to the room to flesh out the environment more.
-I would also cut out any shots that make Watto look like a cartoon character. There are plent of "over exagerrated" performances from the animators that could be tamed....for this scene and plenty others.

Then there is the introduction of Darth Maul. Since Mathasslet and CC have fleshed out this character more. I'll probably wait for CC to comment on how they wanted to execute any scenes with darth maul. I know that they are trying to meld Maul and Grevious together........but I'm not sure how they are going to accomplish that, therefore, I will wait for their comments before exploring that aspect.

The scene with Qui-Gon talking to Shmi out on the "porch".
-I would use the Magfan format on this as well, which involves cutting out discussion of his "father". Talk about a subplot that was NEVER resolved in the trilogy. As qui-gon is ending his transmission with obi wan , it is halted after qui-gon says "a ship without a power supply isn't going to get us anywhere". End transmission. I feel that has a better flow than mentioning "theres something about this boy".......then hanging up in obiwans face right as he was onto a revelation. Keep their situation the same, they have to try this crazy pod race idea because it is the ONLY one that they have. However, I would take that line from qui gon "theres something about this boy" and saving it for later in the film. Perhaps in the jedi council scene? Or perhaps like this:

Ext. Naboo ship. Naboo troops are hauling the generator and equipment into the ship

Quigon- "and now i'm going back , I have some unfinished business"
Cut to shot of obiwan with audio from quigon "theres something about this boy"
Obi wan- "yes master"
Cut to quigon- "get this hyperdrive installed"
Obiwan- "it shouldn't take long"

That is a possible way to trim THAT scene into a more fitting Master/Apprentice dialouge. I always hated the idea that obiwan would refer to poor slave child who won them their ticket out of their as a "another pathetic life form". It's just pointless. ObiWan is one of the best padawans in the jedi order, he does NOT have a "pathetic lifeforms category".

Back to earlier in the script with Anakin turning on the podracer. First I would cut the whole sequence with the ugly children running up to tell anakin he's going to be "bug squat". Do you think we should cut the scene of Jar Jar fumbling with the wrench and getting shocked? It is a little funny and the movie could use SOME comic relief (considering we're cutting out all of the 4 year old humor from the film). I would take out "ITS WORKING, ITS WORKING!". But it wouldn't hurt to leave it in, its not THAT bad. I havn't worked out all of the details for this scene or the "waking up" scene. I don't think I want the "waking up" scene anyway, just bad performance from Jake and Natalie. I know there was an idea of anakin having a "foreshadow" dream at this point........however I didn't really get into that idea. I didn't like the idea of looking at images from the next 2 movies while your watching the first one, WAY too confusing for a first time viewer. It also makes it feel like a fan edit as in "real time" the footage for the other movies would not have been filmed yet.

The Pod Race- lets get to that a little later.

-After the podrace we have the scene with watto and quigon, which is pretty good all the way through. I don't really have any problems. Adding some music to the scene will put some character into it. I'll look at it again and see if there is any dialouge that can be trimmed down.

-When quigon is going back with anakin to their house I would cut out the dialouge they have "these are yours"...."YES!". Just music and the image of him handing the boy his prize.

-I think that the "goodbye" sequence could be altered. I'll save some detail for my next post, however there is too much "back and forth" emotion going on. Anakin is just bouncing all around the place.... "look at the money i won"...."I'm free? Did you hear that?" ....."Yipee"......"I want to do it mom, its what i've always dreamed of"......."what about mom, can't she come"......."i don't want to leave".......back and forth. The intention of the scene is to show, not a 9 year old boy, but a very wise young "jedi-to-be" deciding at a critical point in his life if he should stay with his mom, or follow the adventure. I'm going to work on this scene this weekend using dialouge from anakin and shmi's Tone Poem and see what I can pull together. I would also like to trim the official "good bye scene outside". I'm thinking of cutting right to the point where anakin is hugging his mom before he leaves and the silent looks that they give each other........then "don't look back"........."don't look back"..........then anakin walks off with quigon. We need to cut the scene of him walking off, then running back to her saying he can't leave AGAIN. Back and forth.

-how about cutting the entire "good bye 3po" scene? Is this really necessary? What can we salvage from it?
-Then we need to add in the probe droid deleted scene.
-Darth Maul vs. Qui-gon
-"Anakin skywalker, this is obiwan kenobi"......cut to "pleasure to meet you"..... cut out the "your a jedi TOO?"
-Then they fly off of tattoine and the story moves on.

Now I know that there is alot of detail to work out for all of these scenes. But I thought it would be a good idea to recap all of the ideas and see what other comments you guys can come up with. Let the brain storming begin and I will get to working on a Script version of the scenes. Let's not be afraid to swap dialouge, add/subtract music, add sound effects, decolorization..........these are the tools we have. I'll be back after a little more brainstorming.

darthpreston
Post
#171446
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/171446/action/topic#171446
Time
Some thoughts about the next sequence:

-i suppose we'll keep the dialouge between obi and quigon about needing credits for the hyperdrive generator. I don't know if there is anything worthwhile in the jar jar/quigon scene. You could maybe cut that part and keep the quigon line "we have nothing of value, that's our problem" and use it in another scene with watto.

-The sebulba/anakin scene has alot of potential to be an interesting/serious scene, considering that we can change the dialouge of both characters to whatever we want. My idea would be to cut the sequence of jar jar going "hungry crazy" and flipping the fish onto sebulba. When cutting to this scene, cut right from the point where sebulba is getting up and leashing out at jar jar (maybe add that sebulba just REALLY hates gungans) and throw in some SCARY like music. I think there should be some creepy music going through this whole scene to create sebulba into a menacing and threatening character. We should fear for anakin having to go up against a greesy monster. You could slow down the shots of sebulba so it would appear he's talking snidely at anakin. As far as their conversation? It should be something more serious than "i'm going to squash you at the podrace" type babble.


-My next idea is one I want you guys to consider, or let me know if it seems flawed. In the original cut when qui-gon says 'thank you , young friend" ....they just walk off and anakin, for no reason, simplys bobs along with them. That always seemed off to me, I got the impression qui-gon was thanking him and hinting at the boy to be on his way as they are busy.

-So, after Quigon thanks Anakin, as they are walking off add in the line from anakin "do you have shelter"? Then cut immediately to the scene right after Jira (the weird old lady) , this is where they are walking away with anakin mentioning a sand storm and that they can stay at his place.
-THEN, cut to the scene with obi wan and panaka outside, cut all their dialouge but leave in "we're receiving a messege from home".
-THEN, swipe to the shot of obiwan in the ship with the crew watching the hologram of sio bibble.
- after obi wan walks off screen, cut to shot of anakin w/crew walking from the sandstorm into his house.

I feel this is a more fluid cut of the sequence. The only thing that you lose is the scene with anakin noticing qui-gons lightsaber. But if you think about it , wouldn't it be better if anakin just sensed that qui-gon was a strong force user and possibly a jedi? I mean, getting a glimpse at a lightsaber is a no brainer. I like the scene where anakin looks at quigon and says "your a jedi knight, arn't you?".......this line would have more of an impact if he wasn't given any hints. This also fixes the quick plot whole of the group deciding to hang out with anakin while he's getting fruit and talking with old ladies. It cuts the shots with obi wan together nicely. The guys in the ship said "we're receiving a messege", then it feels like a while till we're in the ship watching the messege........why not just put them together with solid music behind it? You could take the obi/quigon conversation of "what if it is true and the people are dying" and place it somewhere after the dinner scene.

-For the record I think that Magfan did fantastic edits of the dinner scene and the podrace. I think we could use a change of music for the dinner scene, but i'm kind of a fan of the "swoop bike/beggars canyon" track that he used for the pod race. I use to get soo bored with the old podrace, but the way magfan put it together made me love it. I look forward to that scene everytime I watch it.

-Another quick thing I noticed is that we can alter ALL of threepios lines if we wished. There is TONS of dialouge from the OT radio dramas that could be inserted. I just feel that in THe phantom menace, Threepio kinda talks like 3P0, and kinda DOESN'T. Ya know, if you look at it 3PO is kinda bitchy ALL through the OT. Maybe he should be more bitchy in this one as well, it's just what makes him funny.
Thing about it ................
Post
#171154
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/171154/action/topic#171154
Time
Wow, that is a completely fluid cut of that scene. It's almost seamless, I didn't even think you could take that whole sequence and turn it around like that. I especially like the feeling that the conversation between anakin and padme is LONGER, and is also a trivial long conversation about his condition in slavery. The "force talk" is an interesting addition and I like it. Ya know, its soo nice that you could definatley use it again in Episode 3 or possibly Episode 2 for pivitol feeling to emerge from anakin secretly to padme. Brilliant in my opinion. On a side note, for some reason the "jar jar double spin" made me laugh every time I saw it in the theater. Damn that character had potential. But I see that we can turn him into a real worthy addition to the star wars universe. I can't wait for the next scene.

Post
#167794
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/167794/action/topic#167794
Time
Haha, no man , I must have typed that wrong. You know that your the fuel for this fire, your shaping this movie into a masterpiece, you have my upmost respect, trust me. The title "star wars" for this movie could work, and in the end i'm sure it will seem very fitting considering if these cuts come out as well as you have written them. I'm sure it will grow on me , and anyway it's not really that big of a deal compared to reshaping the movie, and you guys are doing great on that front. I'd say that i'm in agreement with about 99% of the ideas coming out. And i'm not totally pesemistic about the Maul=Grevious situation, I just can't wait to see you guys flesh this out into something realistic.

I'm just thankfull to be in discussion with this project and want to be apart of the brainstorming. Just a discussion over titles, no need to get worked up. By the way, the idea of adding the "lawrence of arabia" shots sounds very fitting. There are soo many desert pans in that movie it is quite rediculous. How about adding a darker filter to the scenes on tatooine (like in a new hope)? That would help if you were needing to blend in desert shots from other movies. But that is an outstanding idea.

Post
#167784
Topic
The legendary "Starkiller Ranch" Thread
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/167784/action/topic#167784
Time
Hmm, perhaps we should leave the "title discussion" for later down the road of this edit. I didn't mean to stir things up about it, I was just throwing out the idea of giving it a title. For the record, if your going to have ep.2-6 have a title, then it would just be silly to have Ep.1 just be called "star wars". I'm sure it looks neat like that on paper, but to anybody who watches this, to whoever receives this....it is going to be Episode One. You cannot get around that. This isn't the "original Star Wars" that we saw in 77. Personally I feel that Ep.4 is the only movie that holds the solitary title of "Star Wars". And I know we are making a stand alone film with this, but it is ENTIRELY related to the rest of the saga. It introduces: the force, anakin, amidala, obi wan, sith lords, jedi, yoda, ect ect.......all of these characters flesh out and make the "saga". And like I said, I totally understand making this movie a stand alone picture , much like the 77 star wars did............but then lucas made Empire Strikes Back and went back to change "Star Wars" into "Star Wars: A New Hope". I think that was a great decision and turned the movies into chapters; which is what they are no matter how you look at it. And considering that we are making "Chapters" of a more serious and connected "saga", I don't see the point in making this Episode One simply "Star Wars".

Now, if you wanted to drop all the titles from the movies and just number them......well that is a different story. I know that a good title is hard to come up with, so lets just let it go for now and return to the issue later down the pipe line once we get the story nailed down and the editting in progress. Or to make everyone happy, simply make it an alternate track for the beginning. You can have a title, or not, the choice is up to the viewer and his remote.

Anyway, i'm all for using the "droid wandering" track for them walking into the town. I just thought that the "mos eisley" music should be saved for mos eisley. But if it works.......


P.S. I love the discussions on this board, everybody has such great ideas!