CaptainFaraday

AntonioGK said:

Another thing we don’t have explanation is about the Emperor’s son… yeah I know he is a failed clone, but… what about deepfaking him to resemble a young Palpatine?

The only deepfake content I’ve seen that looks at all convincing is this guy on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZXbWcv7fSZFTAZV4beckyw

I have no idea how you’d go about deepfaking something like that, but if somebody did a convincing Billy-Howle-transformed-into-Young-Ian-McDiarmid, that could be mildly nifty.

Icecream2448 said:

My interpretation (with this trilogy of edits) is that the dyad began its inception during the interrogation scene between Kylo and Rey way back in TFA. The seeds were planted there for the dyad.
And then in TLJ, Snoke bridged their minds together so they could now Skype call, which really got the dyad ball rolling. (Not really the smartest plan ever, but hey. Snoke is a fool and thought Kylo would finally try to surpass his grandfather instead of doing the same killing-his-master thing Vader did. It’s fine.) But then they could continue the force Skype calls after Snoke’s direct influence was gone, because the dyad had become that much more powerful and just naturally flowed to take that form of communication. It’s a very Force-ey unexplainable spiritual thing, and I’m fine with it. (Emperor or Snoke didn’t know it could still go on afterwards, maybe?)
And finally, The Emperor wasn’t controlling Snoke’s every move; he just “made” him, as in trained him. And set him up as a figure head in the First Order, as Emperor was trying tirelessly to get a working clone of himself in order. So, he didn’t know what exactly was going on in Rey and Kylo’s heads, other than what Kylo was directly telling the Darth Vader helmet and to Snoke (who, I guess, was relaying it back to Palpy.) The Emperor knew they had a bond, he even says it’s a bond. He’s just surprised that it’s as powerful as it is, sending items back and forth. (He also didn’t know Ben was there in the other part of the building, so that’s also why he was shocked when the Skywalker saber disappeared) He might have only known that Snoke bridged their minds, not that it had materialized into a full blown “unseen for generations” style dyad.

Something like this. I dunno. That might not make sense, or somehow contradict itself somewhere, but hey. It’s what I have to work with to make these movies connect properly.

I’m back and forth on the “every voice inside your head” line. On one hand, I can see how it’s kind of unnecessary to have both “I made Snoke” and “I’ve been every voice you have ever heard inside your head” lines back to back. One or the other is enough. But on the other hand, having both lines there doesn’t really take away anything for me, it’s just more explanation. I don’t mind the fan servicey presentation of it. Maybe, yeah, just remove the Vader breathing perhaps, if anything HAS to be changed there.

Basically, I’d only be upset if both lines are totally removed. I need SOME explanation in the actual film. We need to know that Palpatine “made” Snoke. It is important in trying to make this all makes sense, to directly connect Palpatine to Snoke. Not just the First Order, but to Snoke. At least for me. With the removal of the jar of Snokes in this edit, it leans more towards The Emperor meant he merely propped up Snoke, rather than literally created him, which is what we all want to have happen in Ascendant. But we need some of this dialogue to explain it. It’s messy and a little confusing and maybe still unnecessary to some, but I think it should be there. I’m also open to repurposing the lines for later on in the Vader helmet scene, like has been mentioned. Although, it would be weird to not have the Emperor tell Kylo at the start… but I digress. Either way, the line(s) need to not be completely removed, I feel.

Seconding all of this.

(You’ve actually clarified something very neatly in my head that I’ve been trying to pin down, for a slightly different type of edit I’m working on myself, so thank you.)

RogueLeader said:

Cool to here! I was wondering if you could pull anything of interest from that version of the script as well. Maybe you’re thinking this, but I think it would be interesting if Jannah and the other stormtroopers didn’t have names when we first meet them. They still go by their callsigns. Or, maybe they picked names because they heard about “Finn the Stormtrooper”.

I kind of wish some nuance regarding the Jedi that Trevorrow tried to present was still present in what we got. Like, when Rey finally speaks to Luke on Ahch-To, he can tell her the Jedi were wrong about fear and attachments. Jedi can’t deny fear, they must face it. And attachments aren’t a weakness, but a strength. I don’t know, something that shows how Rey (and by extension, Luke) will correct the flaws of the old Jedi Order. But that might be outside your objectives.

I really like picking names because they heard about “Finn the stormtrooper,” that tracks with what I want to bring across from the DOTF screenplay. It’s already been suggested I describe them as wearing bits and pieces of stormtrooper armour they’ve personalised, and I feel like that all meshes together well.

I agree with your thoughts about Luke and the Jedi, too. I don’t want to stray too far from the source material with writing my own stuff, but, I feel like those ideas are already thematically supported by TROS, just never really given the forefront in the story.

Brewzter said:

sherlockpotter said:

sherlockpotter said:

Okay, I took a stab at color correcting the insert shot of Leia holding the medal. It struck me that, given how bright the blueish backlight is in Leia’s Death Chamber™, the dim, golden tone of the medal clip kind of stood out. Bear in mind that I’ve never color-corrected anything before, and my entire experience consists of watching one YouTube video; so if anyone out there knows what they’re doing and wants to offer some feedback, I’d be grateful!

Original (for comparison): https://streamable.com/soz9a7
Color Correction: https://streamable.com/y53j10

I may actually want it to be an even brighter blue. Hmm…

Another attempt - much stronger blue tones, and it’s a bit brighter to hopefully better match the quality of the lighting in the surrounding footage. Also shifted the color mask over to try to imply directional lighting. Is it too much?

https://streamable.com/v8g9w8

Nailed it! That looks great. I’d totally use this in my edit

Is it possible to add rain to the insert shot of the medal? That’s really the only thing which alerts my eye to something being amiss.

I’ve been rereading the DOTF Trevorrow screenplay, thinking there might be some good Leia content in it that I could work in. But the two different stories don’t gel together; everyone’s character arcs and motivations are too different, and it doesn’t match up in any useful way.

Except for Finn.

There’s already a bunch of really good Finn content I’m going to use, because his goals and motivation actually kind of work towards the same thing - in DOTF it’s leading a stormtrooper uprising, but everything which sets that up actually translates pretty seamlessly to setting up his interactions with Jannah instead.

I’m excited about this. Finn is a character who got severely shortchanged by TROS, and anything to flesh out his pretty barebones arc is really useful. There’s something good to be made out of it; it’s just going to take a bit of polish.

I also like “every voice” as it is and where it is. Ditto “I made Snoke.” Without the Snoke Clones, it’s easy to read that line as meaning he trained Snoke, made him who he is - saying someone “made” someone is a real-world turn of phrase which means that anyway.

Similarly, I never thought Vader’s voice in the “every voice” line was meant to be literal. Palpatine, or rather the Sith (whom Palpaine is now all of), has always been influencing Kylo indirectly, leading his fate here. When Kylo would ask the Vader helmet for guidance in TFA, it was clearly meant to be more of a personal reflection and internally meditative sort of thing, not him literally being spoken to by Darth Vader’s actual voice.

My counterargument would be that it’s still worth including because of what it adds to the movie, like using DVD deleted scenes that don’t match the BR quality of the surrounding scenes. But that’s a subjective choice about what you think is more important in an edit, and if the goal is to create a version of TROS you could show to someone who never saw the original and not have them realise you’d edited it, then I agree that the game footage has got to go. I think it looks fine, but the majority of people don’t.

The contrast looks a little low - the blacks are quite grey compared to the unaltered footage, at least on my monitor.

I think adding the shot is a good idea, though - I’ve watched TROS in various edits half a dozen times, and until I saw this shot, I had no idea what the layout of the Resistance base was supposed to be. Was someone going to try interpolating the footage to get a higher framerate, or am I misremembering that? That would allow it to be slowed down, increasing the length of the shot and making the frame track look more like a physical camera movement.

Third chapter:

https://pastebin.com/yR7LjhL3
Password: CaptainFaraday

Changelog:

• I rolled together different parts of a few chapters to fix the pacing issues created by removing lightspeed skipping. Unfortunately, I didn’t write it down as I was going, and now I have forgotten exactly what came from where. Oh dear.
• Removed lightspeed skipping.
• Removed Klaud.
• Made the asteroid an abandoned mine, rather than an active First Order mine.
• Removed the chess game so I can potentially use it somewhere later.
• General quality of life edits as previously described, continued condensing bit characters in the Resistance into a smaller number of characters who each get a bit more pagetime.
• Removed the implication that Boolio retrieved the information himself, instead of just passing it along.
• The information being retrieved is now a copy of Palpatine’s transmission to the First Order.

Burbin said:

Here’s the haircut by jonh for those who missed it:

jonh said:

Hello! These are the shots in which it has been possible for me to change Luke’s hair, there are other shots in which it is impossible: a thousand generations … it is impossible, for me at least.
I have also lost two kilos of weight to Luke

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wxCRU-kV6rx8nPENzKqWPD3lBv0a2c4F/view?usp=sharing

How was this even accomplished!? Secrets only the Sith knew?

nl0428 said:

I’ll admit, I’ve been behind on this thread due to dedicating my time to my personal life and editing projects. What exactly is the percentage status on V2?

I know there’s also a Rey Nobody version in the pipeline eventually, which I’m very excited for, but I know Hal said would take a while. What’s the current percentage status on Rey Nobody?

Is there a link to the full changelog for Hal’s ROTJ edit? I looked but I couldn’t find a thread for it in the forums here.

Edit: found a list, it’s in the text file that accompanies the video file.

TestingOutTheTest said:

Oh yeah, do you plan on editing the novels for TFA and TLJ?

No plans right now for those, I don’t have much of an issue with them. I like TFA as it is, and while there are things I’d change about TLJ, I don’t feel the same urge to rewrite it as I do TROS.

Weirdly, though, I find I tend to prefer the junior novelisations (I read them to my son) because they’re a lot more direct and let the characters’ actions convey how they feel. Doing an edit where I inserted the best parts of the big print from TFA and TLJ’s novelisations into their junior novelisations would be an odd, but perhaps quite rewarding, project to do someday.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Yeah it doesn’t have to be too descriptive. Although I would prefer if the Eye was described for what it actually looks like in canon.

In the new canon comics, Vader actually met with the Eye. And Vader obviously placed him in charge with defending his wayfinder. I think it would be interesting for him to recognize Kylo as the heir of Vader initially (which doesn’t happen in the original novel), and then they could talk from there. I also think it would be interesting if Kylo killed the Eye after he got what he wanted from him.

EDIT: Maybe he could get him angry by saying that he is too conflicted still, but not to fear because he will soon discover his true self. So Kylo kills him in order to try to prove that he can be dark.

Those are all great ideas! I’ll have a tinker with it.

I haven’t read the Vader comics, but a friend of mine has shown me some parts from them, and they look really good. Maybe I’ll track down the issues with the Eye and have a read for context.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

CaptainFaraday said:

My only issue is that the Eye requires introduction, which takes time and reader investment, and then never shows up again. I left the stuff with Hux and Pryde because they’re both characters throughout the film, and their scene helps introduce us to both of them, to Kylo, to the First Order and its structure and attitude, to where the plot is headed, and sets up the dynamics of all three characters in relation to each other. The Eye just sets up, well, the Eye, and I think having Kylo talk to a mysterious ancient thing he doesn’t fully understand treads on the toes of Kylo talking to Palpatine.

I feel like these kinds of characters sometimes show up in stories and fairy tales though. Like a wise old hermit or a witch that tells the main character something important about themselves and then vanishes. Of course, this would be the first time something like that appeared in Star Wars.
EDIT: For example, there is the witches from Macbeth. Of course, they appear more later on in the story. But there are other examples as well.

I really like that way of thinking about it.

Now that you’ve mentioned it, something I notice that’s common to that character archetype is that they’re all pretty immediately recognisable, so they don’t feel like something unique to the individual story that the audience is being asked to remember for later.

If I don’t spend an overly long time describing the Eye (in the unaltered text, I think it gets more visual description than any of the protagonists!), and instead make it something very visually immediate, I think it would help with that. Perhaps it’s literally just an eye on a large optic nerve that rises from the lake?

TestingOutTheTest said:

CaptainFaraday said:

TestingOutTheTest said:

I’m sorry, but some of your edits miss the point. The Skywalker lightsaber being split into two and being repaired with a band of metal is the equivalent of Luke’s robotic hand, it serves to remind us of Rey’s failure in TLJ.

Snoke being a creation from scratch explains why he never interfered during the events of the original and prequel trilogies, it turns out he never even existed at those points in time.

The whole point of Rey being Palpatine’s granddaughter is to reinforce her subconscious, irrational core belief that she is worthless, she becomes convinced that her lineage is the reason she is falling to the dark side and committing sins like unleashing Force lightning onto the transport and stabbing Kylo Ren in the chest with the very lightsaber he used to kill Han.

After she was abandoned by her parents, she subconsciously developed this irrational core belief that she is worthless, she subconsciously hates herself (she doesn’t actively hate herself, it’s a subconscious thing), she believes this lie that the only way to feel happy, to feel loved is if she gains love and worth from others as well as if she pleases others which would then result in said others giving her the love and worth she desires to make her feel happy; it is for this very reason she frees BB-8 from Teedo, why she bypasses the compressor on the Falcon, and why she tells Luke that she would not fail him in the way Kylo Ren did. She is essentially a parasite, leeching off of others to give her what she wants.

After Rey gives into the dark side and mortally wounds Kylo Ren, as I stated, she becomes convinced that her lineage is the reason she is falling to the dark side, so she exiles herself because if she falls to the dark side she’ll make things worse for others instead of pleasing them, she’ll never get the love and worth she wants. She thinks that being Palpatine’s granddaughter automatically makes her even more worthless… that is, until Luke shows up and gives her a pep talk that just because she is Palpatine’s granddaughter doesn’t mean she is worthless (for example, Leia knew of her lineage and yet still trained her, because she saw the spark or whatever in her).

She heads to the Sith Citadel on Exegol (the Citadel represents the subconscious and hidden part of her mind) to confront Palpatine and end the Sith for good, but he convinces her to kill him so she would become Empress and have control over his forces who are endangering her loved ones, her found family, if she refuses her loved ones, her found family, would be killed off; she accepts, knowing that if she becomes Empress and prevents the Final Order from killing her loved ones, her found family, she would obtain that worth for as long as she lives her life as Empress. Suddenly, Ben Solo, the one person she has had a close connection to through the Force for a long time, comes backs for her, showing her that he truly cared about her, that she is valuable, even if she never becomes Empress; this allows her to refuse the ritual and stand against Palpatine. However, he then drains most of her and Ben’s dyad life energy (symbolic of how low self-esteem drains one of life and happiness) and gets rid of the one person who has showed Rey that she is valuable, leaving her all alone once more in the darkness; that is… until she calls out to the Jedi of the past, then all of them respond and convince her that she isn’t alone, that she is capable of rising, etc. This convinces her to refuse the lie she believed her entire life, that she is worthless, that she can only feel worth something if others give her their love, so she finally faces against Palpatine. He spits at her about how she is nothing and how she is unable to stand against him; she ignores his remarks and responds back with her own, self-made sense of self-worth and self-esteem… that “she… is all the Jedi.” She permanently destroys Palpatine, the personification of this irrational core belief, once and for all.

These concepts aren’t really described in the text anywhere

If you’re referring to the actual film, do you even know what inference is?

Let’s keep criticisms constructive and focused on the edit, rather than people.

I’m specifically editing (and talking about) the novel, though of course the film largely informs that. The film has subtext that naturally can be interpreted in different ways (that’s just how stories work), but the novel is somewhat more explicit with explaining Carson’s interpretation of that subtext in the actual text of the novel itself. I don’t agree with all of Carson’s interpretations, and neither do you, judging from your interpretations above.

But that’s what’s brilliant about fanediting: we can each tailor a work to better express the specific themes and subtext we individually see in it. I wasn’t joking, I really would like to read an edit of the novel which brings out the things you listed above. I think it would be a great read.

My only issue is that the Eye requires introduction, which takes time and reader investment, and then never shows up again. I left the stuff with Hux and Pryde because they’re both characters throughout the film, and their scene helps introduce us to both of them, to Kylo, to the First Order and its structure and attitude, to where the plot is headed, and sets up the dynamics of all three characters in relation to each other. The Eye just sets up, well, the Eye, and I think having Kylo talk to a mysterious ancient thing he doesn’t fully understand treads on the toes of Kylo talking to Palpatine.

I agree that it’s the same problem the movie had, I think that’s just inevitable in some ways because of what we’re working with. If I can introduce the Eye in a very fast but natural way, and keep the conversation brief, then I agree about keeping it in and adding the other Kylo stuff we talked about. You’ve made me determined to accomplish it now.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Here is the passage from the original novelization:
"The Eye cocked its head, making an eerie squealing noise. It took a moment for Kylo to realize the creature was laughing at him. “No need for that,” the Eye said. “Do you really think my lord would have left it in the guardianship of one who could be swayed by a trick of the Force?”

No, he supposed not.

“You’ve been seeking it for a while, yes? I must warn you, our fiery planet burns away deception. If you proceed down this path, you will encounter your true self.”’

I think the text could do a better job than it currently does at conveying the raft of things we just discussed. I’m not suggesting I explain the subtext (I’m removing a lot of subtext-being-explained from other parts of the book), but if I keep it in and add the other elements later to support it, I think I’d rewrite their whole interaction to convey that core idea.

I still worry it would slow down the opening section too much, which is already long as it is. And truncating it might make the interaction itself feel too fast. It would be a balancing act, if we go that route.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

I would say that the creature guarding the Wayfinder is critical for Kylo’s character arc. He tells him that he will discover his true self at the end of this journey, which is something I wish would have been in the film.

There’s never really a sense in the big print that Kylo feels like he’s rushing towards something in that way, although it could be interesting to build on the conversation with the creature by adding that. Have him assume he’s racing towards one destiny (being Supreme Leader Kylo Ren), then after his conversation with Han, he realises it was actually the opposite this whole time (being a redeemed Ben Solo).

There’s a playful meta to that which I really like - the creature basically points out to him how a character arc works. I’ll keep the idea in mind as I go through the rest of the book.

TestingOutTheTest said:

I’m sorry, but some of your edits miss the point. The Skywalker lightsaber being split into two and being repaired with a band of metal is the equivalent of Luke’s robotic hand, it serves to remind us of Rey’s failure in TLJ.

Snoke being a creation from scratch explains why he never interfered during the events of the original and prequel trilogies, it turns out he never even existed at those points in time.

The whole point of Rey being Palpatine’s granddaughter is to reinforce her subconscious, irrational core belief that she is worthless, she becomes convinced that her lineage is the reason she is falling to the dark side and committing sins like unleashing Force lightning onto the transport and stabbing Kylo Ren in the chest with the very lightsaber he used to kill Han.

After she was abandoned by her parents, she subconsciously developed this irrational core belief that she is worthless, she subconsciously hates herself (she doesn’t actively hate herself, it’s a subconscious thing), she believes this lie that the only way to feel happy, to feel loved is if she gains love and worth from others as well as if she pleases others which would then result in said others giving her the love and worth she desires to make her feel happy; it is for this very reason she frees BB-8 from Teedo, why she bypasses the compressor on the Falcon, and why she tells Luke that she would not fail him in the way Kylo Ren did. She is essentially a parasite, leeching off of others to give her what she wants.

After Rey gives into the dark side and mortally wounds Kylo Ren, as I stated, she becomes convinced that her lineage is the reason she is falling to the dark side, so she exiles herself because if she falls to the dark side she’ll make things worse for others instead of pleasing them, she’ll never get the love and worth she wants. She thinks that being Palpatine’s granddaughter automatically makes her even more worthless… that is, until Luke shows up and gives her a pep talk that just because she is Palpatine’s granddaughter doesn’t mean she is worthless (for example, Leia knew of her lineage and yet still trained her, because she saw the spark or whatever in her).

She heads to the Sith Citadel on Exegol (the Citadel represents the subconscious and hidden part of her mind) to confront Palpatine and end the Sith for good, but he convinces her to kill him so she would become Empress and have control over his forces who are endangering her loved ones, her found family, if she refuses her loved ones, her found family, would be killed off; she accepts, knowing that if she becomes Empress and prevents the Final Order from killing her loved ones, her found family, she would obtain that worth for as long as she lives her life as Empress. Suddenly, Ben Solo, the one person she has had a close connection to through the Force for a long time, comes backs for her, showing her that he truly cared about her, that she is valuable, even if she never becomes Empress; this allows her to refuse the ritual and stand against Palpatine. However, he then drains most of her and Ben’s dyad life energy (symbolic of how low self-esteem drains one of life and happiness) and gets rid of the one person who has showed Rey that she is valuable, leaving her all alone once more in the darkness; that is… until she calls out to the Jedi of the past, then all of them respond and convince her that she isn’t alone, that she is capable of rising, etc. This convinces her to refuse the lie she believed her entire life, that she is worthless, that she can only feel worth something if others give her their love, so she finally faces against Palpatine. He spits at her about how she is nothing and how she is unable to stand against him; she ignores his remarks and responds back with her own, self-made sense of self-worth and self-esteem… that “she… is all the Jedi.” She permanently destroys Palpatine, the personification of this irrational core belief, once and for all.

These concepts aren’t really described in the text anywhere, and thus fall outside of my purview to edit. But what makes all of these stories so interesting to edit is how everyone can read into them differently. Carson came up with her own reasons in the big print to explain a lot of TROS’s choices, and if you wanted to do an edit where your interpretations are woven into the big print instead, I think it would be really interesting to read.

Movies Remastered said:

axlanian said:

CaptainFaraday said:

Something that bugs the hell out of me, and I’d love to see removed in a fanedit, is the ring of little spikes that pop up on Rey’s yellow lightsaber at the very end of the movie. I was watching this scene earlier and it occurred to me how incredibly easy it would be to remove them, by taking a small rectangle of footage directly above them and duplicating it over them (I made a mockup from a still frame, but I’m not sure how to upload it in here).

Is it only me that hates those little spikes? To me, they turn a perfectly fine lightsaber design into something from 2012 DeviantArt. Hell, if it doesn’t bother anyone else nearly as much as it bothers me, and if someone can send me the bit of footage and tell me what to do with my export settings (Premiere Pro CS6 for Mac), I’ll even do it myself.

Are you talking about the triangular vent/flap things on top? They don’t bother me from a visuals/design standpoint, I’m more confused by how they seem to be entering the beam of the saber without being destroyed.

I’m with you on this. So, the Saber beam pushes them open and closes them again? Seems a little far-fetched.

It bothers me from a visual design standpoint, but this also bugs me about it, yeah.

I’ll post progress updates, but the biggest stumbling block for me is going to be making sure my project settings and export settings are all correct so my footage will match up with the rest. I studied editing at uni but it’s been a while since I did any, and file formats and sizes etc are all very different now than they were back then.

Cool! I’ll put something together.

Could anyone send me just that scene in high quality? I know my computer will crash if I try and ingest an entire feature-length BluRay quality file.

Something that bugs the hell out of me, and I’d love to see removed in a fanedit, is the ring of little spikes that pop up on Rey’s yellow lightsaber at the very end of the movie. I was watching this scene earlier and it occurred to me how incredibly easy it would be to remove them, by taking a small rectangle of footage directly above them and duplicating it over them (I made a mockup from a still frame, but I’m not sure how to upload it in here).

Is it only me that hates those little spikes? To me, they turn a perfectly fine lightsaber design into something from 2012 DeviantArt. Hell, if it doesn’t bother anyone else nearly as much as it bothers me, and if someone can send me the bit of footage and tell me what to do with my export settings (Premiere Pro CS6 for Mac), I’ll even do it myself.

I wanted to share a snippet that I had to write almost wholesale, taking place when the heroes arrive on Pasaana. The nice thing about the written word is that I can add something like this, which everyone seems to agree would be a good alteration to TROS, but is probably beyond the technical limitations of a movie fanedit. First and last lines for context of how it fits into the text.

“Let’s split up, see what the locals know,” Poe said.
He and Finn headed off, but Rey’s legs were suddenly rooted in place. A pair of Acky Acky were performing a puppet show, and one of them had just used a word she recognised.
“Di sana berdiri Skywalker!”
All of the children gasped. Some of them cheered. Rey looked more closely at the puppets.
A little human figure made of twisted-up wire and tiny cloth robes stood in front of a blast door made of paper, the puppeteer pulling a string to make his arm brandish a little green wire sword at a puppet of an AT-AT walker. The walker had just fired some little pieces of red paper at him, to absolutely no effect. Then the children whooped and cheered again as the little wire man leapt at the walker, and the puppeteer flipped it over backwards with a cowardly little wail.
Luke’s saber on Crait that day had been blue, and Rey noticed immediately, as someone who lived in the burned-out shell of one for the better part of her life, that the walker had been designed after the old Imperial kind. She smiled. Even if some of the details weren’t perfect, she thought, the important part of the story was still there.
The children stared wide-eyed, sometimes gasping, sometimes laughing, as other exploits of puppet Luke were depicted. A mother dressed in bright pink sat amongst them, bouncing a pudgy infant in her arms. Instead of the long trunks of the adults, the children had rather stubby little noses and plump cheeks. Rey’s smile doubled as the baby chuckled at Luke knocking down a round dish that was clearly supposed to be the second Death Star.
Something tugged on her tunic, and she looked down to find a young Acky Acky girl in a green robe trying to get her attention. Rey knelt before her.

What if, when the script with Trevorrow and Connolly fell through, instead of turning to Abrahms and Terrio, Disney had said “Let’s get that dude to write it,” and pointed to me? Here’s a treatment for what I would have put in a first draft, before producers and executives got their hands on it and made me change things.

Please imagine the opening studio vanity plates fading to black, and enjoy:

STAR WARS
EPISODE IX:
THE LIGHT RISES

Rey is training her Jedi skills as she attempts desperately to commune with Luke’s Force Ghost, which she is frustrated that she cannot manage to do. The Skywalker saber is still broken in half; she finishes combining it with her staff to make a blue double-bladed lightsaber.

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is obsessed with unlocking the secrets of the ancient Dark Side users, partly as a way to quash the conflict he feels within himself. He spends his time traveling to various planets searching for mystical secrets.

This leaves Hux running the entire First Order, a bureaucratic and complex job. He’s just as zealous as ever, but now he’s overworked and stressed. It’s not as much fun as when he was giving speeches and blowing up planets.

The Resistance are only a scattered collection of tiny plucky bands, barely surviving, the First Order gradually hunting down and wiping out their remaining cells one at a time. Finn, Poe, Chewie and Rose are basically doing stealth spy stuff, trying to find out what the First Order is up to, and how they’re getting their information on the Resistance. Chewie is now effectively a single dad to a porg that rides around on his shoulder getting into mischief, while Finn and Poe bicker constantly about everything. Rose is keeping everything together, mediating the petty conflicts in the group and making sure the Millenium Falcon can still fly. The group also has a new ally, the ageing ex-smuggler and once-Rebellion-general Lando Calrissian, who has been feeding the Resistance intel from a secret source about what the First Order is doing.

Hux receives intel on the location of a hidden Resistance cell, and tells Captain Phasma to take her strike team there and wipe them out. Phasma is horrifically burned and her armour functions more like Vader’s now; she is no longer calm and smooth but bitter and angry, consumed by fury and vengeance.

Rey, Poe, Finn, Rose, Lando, Chewie and the droids are at this small Resistance cell when Phasma arrives. They fight their way to safety, but the rest of the cell are wiped out in a ground battle while trying to flee. Rey tries to use the Force to pull a transport full of Resistance prisoners back to the ground, but overexerts herself, and unintentionally shoots Force Lightning through it, destroying it in midair and killing all aboard. This is a Dark Side technique fuelled by her anger, and her anxiety grows about feeling a pull to the Darkness.

Kylo feels this through the Force, as does Leia; Rey’s fury reinforces Kylo’s belief that she will turn to the Dark Side, while Leia’s sorrow feeds the guilt and doubt he’s carrying. Similarly, Rey feels guilt over Leia’s sorrow, which reinforces her feeling that she doesn’t truly belong anywhere.

Hux has a personal pet project, the Fleetkiller, for destroying vast numbers of enemy dogfighters at once from a Star Destroyer. But those around him, including Kylo, think it’s a waste of his time and effort since the Resistance is almost wiped out and has no fleet. Plus, the project has fallen by the wayside due to Hux’s overwork, and is currently languishing half-completed in the First Order shipyards on their command planet Wayland.

Lando receives information about where Kylo’s ship is going next; Rey leaves to confront him, mostly in an attempt to quash down her own feelings of conflict. They have a lightsaber fight but both escape, neither finding the answers they seek, but both unsettled by how much of each other they see in themselves – Rey sees Kylo’s darkness in herself, and Kylo sees Rey’s light in himself.

Lando brings more intel to the Resistance, meeting the others at another hidden cell. The First Order has plenty of materiel but not a lot of manpower, especially after Starkiller Base’s destruction; this is why they seem so powerful and overwhelmed the galaxy so easily, but still only had a handful of ships chasing the Resistance in TLJ. This is why Phasma is still hunting them down with strike teams, instead of overwhelming their forces with armies.

When this Resistance cell is attacked, the Resistance realises there’s a leak in their group feeding the First Order information; it’s set up so the audience suspects it might be Lando, playing both sides, and that’s how he gets his First Order intel. It continues the questions raised around Luke in TLJ - do people stay good forever? Lando once betrayed his friends in the past.

Kylo locates the Sith Temple he’s been looking for. He has a Force Vision, showing him Vader’s redemption in ROTJ, and realises it’s actually an ancient Jedi Temple. The vision conflicts him further; he declares it merely Jedi trickery, but doesn’t really believe himself when he says it.

Back at the Resistance’s main base on the planet Maridun, the Resistance confronts Lando as the leak, but it turns out it’s actually… C-3PO, unintentionally, as the First Order have placed a bug on him. It gets removed, but only after it’s transmitted the Resistance base’s location. Lando’s intel was coming from an ad hoc spy network, and now the cat’s out of the bag, they have to choose to either join the Resistance openly or slink forever into the shadows.

The Resistance formulates a plan to survive, but then realises it could be a plan to destroy the First Order. Rose recalls reading about the Rebels of old, and suggests infiltrating the First Order’s base of operations on Wayland, ordering all forces to storm the Resistance base now they know its location, then blowing it up themselves with the First Order inside.

Rey locates the Sith Temple Kylo was searching for and visits it herself, seeking answers. She is confronted by the Force Ghost of a youthful and healthy-looking Palpatine; he explains that the Dark Side is simply about embracing the parts of yourself that people prefer to tamp down until it poisons them, and about using your full potential to do what needs to be done for the greater good. Becoming the gnarled Emperor, he feeds Rey’s fears that she’s forced too many people to die for her - Luke, Han, countless Resistance soldiers - all because she has the power to end the war but is too cowardly to do it. He tells her that to save her friends she must use the power she has to destroy the First Order and kill Kylo Ren. Rey believes him.

Through the Force, Leia senses the magnitude of what Rey has accepted. This final loss is too great, and Leia dies, becoming one with the Force. In turn, Kylo senses his mother’s death, and unexpectedly finds himself emotionally crippled by it.

In this moment of utter despair for the Resistance, Lando’s whole spy network shows up ready to fight, led by dozens of heroes new and old. When asked why they’ve had a change of heart since the Battle of Crait, they explain that the legendary Luke Skywalker’s final heroics gave them something to rally around and believe in, and because of their own collective efforts and bravery that Skywalker inspired, they now believe the Resistance has genuine hope.

Kylo is startled by the apparition of Luke’s Force Ghost, who converses with him about Kylo’s rise and Rey’s descent. Kylo – Ben Solo – now accepts the truth of the Force Vision that he saw, realising the manipulation and folly of the Dark Side. He and Luke forgive each other.

Lando has information that allows them to intercept Hux’s access codes for giving executive orders, but they need to do it from a signalling station on Wayland – a planet of storms and seas, populated only by the First Order and gigantic ocean megafauna.

Poe, Finn, Chewie, and Lando infiltrate the signalling station, but the First Order is alerted to their presence. Hux egotistically assumes they’re there for the Fleetkiller, and sends Phasma with legions of stormtroopers after them. A ground battle begins around the signalling station.

First Order ships arrive at Maridun, starting a large-scale air battle. Ben’s ship arrives, but starts blasting TIE Fighters out of the sky – then Rey’s ship arrives and shoots his down. They have an intense lightsaber battle across the grassy terrain, whipped by the wind as the battle rages overhead.

At the signalling station, Poe is about to send the command to the First Order troops when Phasma shoots him in the back and gloats about the Resistance’s pathetic attempt to destroy the Fleetkiller. Finn fights her, powered again by strong emotions, but this time not for himself; as things looks grim, he unexpectedly uses the Force to pull a blaster into his hand and shoot her, destroying her armour’s breathing equipment. As she falls on the floor, very definitely cold and dead for good this time, Poe heaves himself up onto the control desk – they didn’t get Hux’s codes, but Poe has been transmitting to the Resistance this whole time! Overjoyed, Finn and Poe kiss.

Rey and Ben’s battle reaches a climax as the Resistance fleet appears to flee overhead, the First Order ships following after them. Alone on the planet, the air now still, Ben throws away his lightsaber to prove he will no longer fight her. His words and actions convince her, and now their roles are effectively reversed, Ben is the one to redeem Rey.

The Resistance fleet suddenly arrives at Wayland, now engaging the entirety of the First Order’s fleet – even with their new allies, the Resistance is outnumbered. Rose picks up Poe, Finn, Chewie, and Lando in the Falcon, saying she understood their message, but none of the Resistance ships can land on the Fleetkiller without being shot down.

As the Fleetkiller isn’t completed, Hux stays behind to activate it manually, deciding to die for the glory of the First Order by wiping out the Resistance. But when the Resistance ships make their final approach and he sees them coming towards him, he chickens out - because as much as he liked the power, the actual ideology means less to him than his own skin. He climbs into an escape pod, plotting his new life in hiding, then gets eaten by one of Wayland’s giant turtles anyway.

Ben and Rey arrive at Wayland in Rey’s ship, and Ben orders a halt to the attack. But just like real life, the real villain of the piece is simply the power structure itself: Ben’s reversal in behaviour is seen as madness at best or defection at worst by the First Order, and he is powerless to stop their actions.

Ben and Rey use the Force to fly between the First Order ships and land on the Fleetkiller; Finn senses Rey’s presence there and orders the Resistance to retreat. Their ships vanish, Rey and Ben activate the Fleetkiller, and the entire First Order’s fleet is destroyed, the wreckage falling down and destroying the remaining infrastructure on Wayland.

Six months later, we see the Resistance providing food and relief supplies to a world that was hit hard during the First Order’s brief reign. Ben is struggling to fit in and be accepted because of his past, but he’s making progress; Rose encourages him, as does Finn, who Ben has been teaching the rudiments of the Force. Finn and Poe are together; likewise, Rose and Connix. Lando and Chewie reminisce about the days of the old Rebellion against the Empire, while Chewie’s porg annoys C-3PO to the amusement of R2-D2 and BB-8.

Meanwhile, Rey finds a quiet place away from the others and tries again to commune with Luke. This time she is passive and calm, and when she opens her eyes, Luke and Leia greet her. Luke tells her that just like him, she walked a strange path to becoming a Jedi Master like those of old. The Force Ghosts of countless familiar Jedi appear semi-transparent behind him, and look on kindly as Rey watches the sunrise with hope for the future in her eyes.