That’s really well done. It would be great to get that extra missing shot in there as well, but if I was going to choose between the original or this version, I wouldn’t hesitate to go with this version.
Yeah, that’d be interesting to see. Like the other two, she does die from it.
Also, what in the comic implies anything about Snoke?? I just see Vader and Luke’s hand. How the fuck does that have anything to do with Snoke?
They’re in the cloning facility from TROS, there’s a bunch of unsuccessful Pickled Snokes in the background, and Vader refers to Luke’s hand as them now having “the blade of creation.” So I guess it’s just an implication, but for it to be anything else would mean this would have to be a pretty overt bait-and-switch.
Working on inserting the deleted scenes. The only difficulty I’m experiencing at the moment is where to place the Padme/Rebellion subplot scenes in a way that works. I put them in rather late in the first half, but then I realized, “Oh wait. Padme’s trying to mention a jedi they can rely on, but he’s on Utapau at the moment.” So I’m going to see if I can place them earlier rather than later.
I always thought the Jedi she was referring to was Anakin.
I’m echoing the sentiments about how important the Phasma scene is, and how great your cleanup of it looks. Unless I’ve missed it somewhere, what’s left to be done on that scene before it’s ready for inclusion?
Vader in ROTJ and Mace in ROTS both got crackly blue skeletons overlayed onto them when they were absorbing Force Lightning. That could potentially be added to Rey?
Edit together TLJ and ROTS into one supercut.
@ Sherlock: That’s fair. I didn’t mean to sound grumpy saying that or anything; tone is sometimes hard to convey in text.
@ Jar: I really like that bit in the novel. I think it’s a really neat and tidy explanation for Leia’s decision to start and stop her training, it’s all in character, and I wish there was some way of translating that all to the screen in an equally concise way.
You know what, that’s convinced me. I like the interpretation the three of you have kind of arrived at. I still think “birth” is more immediately understandable to a viewing audience, but just “her son” works better thematically (however much the execution of the theme is jumbled, I mean, ultimately it is TROS we’re talking about here).
Anyway, we should probably move this conversation to a different thread, since Hal’s already said his intentions with this bit in Ascendant.
I think what EddieDean’s said is well reasoned, and I can understand that way of approaching it. My counterpoint for liking “birth”:
She sees that Ben’s birth will signal the end of her time as a Jedi, and we never really get the sense that being a Jedi is something she’s particularly invested in compared to being a leader and statesman (and while it doesn’t matter two bits for the movie, the novel makes this explicitly canon). She gets pregnant, and so decides that’s her signal to go back to her true calling.
Then you get this lovely double meaning, where her Jedi path is picked up by Rey and completed, and this time when it ends, Ben is born again from the ashes of Kylo Ren. So her vision was true, both times, without anything weirdly fatalistic or motivated by fear.
Something I’d like to add in a V2, if I ever do one, is a modified version of one of NFBisms’ changes - a really neat bit of audio trickery in the missed briefing scene, where he has Obi-Wan tell Anakin “Your apprentice has moved her troops to Mandalore.” I’d want to change it to “Ahsoka has… etc” instead, though; “your apprentice” implies information about Anakin the audience doesn’t know and will never get touched upon again (he has an apprentice?). Naming her directly means that if the audience doesn’t recognise the significance of the name, it’s just some technobabble in context (like the original line it replaces).
I’d be able to get a clean clip of Obi-Wan saying “Ahsoka” with the right intonation somewhere in TCW, but even then it might not work, since that extended open “oh” sound is one of the places where James Arnold Taylor’s Obi-Wan voice is noticeably different from Ewan MacGregor’s. I’ll keep an ear out while next time I watch TCW, regardless.
Maybe he’ll say her name in ‘Kenobi’.
I hadn’t thought about that - yes, it seems fairly likely. Either way, it’s something I’ll keep an ear out for.
I personally think your Leia’s son line edit is a big improvement over the original. If we could get the word “birth” in there instead of “death” it would be even better, but that would just be gravy. It’s already good without it.
Something I’d like to add in a V2, if I ever do one, is a modified version of one of NFBisms’ changes - a really neat bit of audio trickery in the missed briefing scene, where he has Obi-Wan tell Anakin “Your apprentice has moved her troops to Mandalore.” I’d want to change it to “Ahsoka has… etc” instead, though; “your apprentice” implies information about Anakin the audience doesn’t know and will never get touched upon again (he has an apprentice?). Naming her directly means that if the audience doesn’t recognise the significance of the name, it’s just some technobabble in context (like the original line it replaces).
I’d be able to get a clean clip of Obi-Wan saying “Ahsoka” with the right intonation somewhere in TCW, but even then it might not work, since that extended open “oh” sound is one of the places where James Arnold Taylor’s Obi-Wan voice is noticeably different from Ewan MacGregor’s. I’ll keep an ear out while next time I watch TCW, regardless.
I’ve successfully exported the version with the new crawl, but no matter what settings I use in Handbrake, I can’t get the file to play on my TV (it plays fine on my laptop). I have a Hisence UHD TV, and I just can’t figure it out. It’s driving me mad.
I’ve had plenty of issues getting a file to play on my HDTV too. Fortunately, I have a blu-ray player that is fine playing MKV and MP4 files via usb flash drive. It’s possible that the TV flat out refuses to play any large files period. However, if it works on your laptop, that probably means it isn’t the file that’s the issue. If you exported it to MP4 or MKV, those two files are the most widely used for fanedits, so you’re probably fine.
My TV plays 85% of all files fine, but there are some files it doesn’t like for unknown reasons. I’ve exported it with the exact same containers and settings etc as a movie that plays perfectly fine, and it still won’t play it. It’s apparently a common issue with this model of TV, according to a google search - very frustrating.
I’ll watch it tonight on my laptop and then it should be good to upload.
I think just poaching the single word “birth” and blending it into the extant line could work.
Sherlock, I think they’re using the word “ghouls” in the sense of describing somebody as “ghoulish” -like saying someone enjoys being morbid. But yeah, I always heard it as “cool.” I think a serious line would work better than a joke in that moment, if Hal does decide to replace it.
Quick crash landing mock-up, also incorporating bbghost’s idea:
Thoughts?
I like the idea, Sherlock. Where did you grab that landscape shot after the explosion from?
Thanks! I just used a shot from a little later in the film - right after the “ghouls” land, and right before the gang starts climbing the cliff up to Ochi’s ship. I reversed the shot and slowed it a little, so hopefully it’s not too obvious of a duplicated shot; but if it is obvious, I imagine any old desert landscape shot could work in its place.
And then over that, I just added some generic explosion sound effect that I found. Thinking about it more, I’d probably want to blend the “far away” explosion sound with the “close up” explosion sound a little bit better. I’d also love to get some bass into the LFE channel, but I’m not really sure how to do that.
Oh, also, when I was working on your idea of cutting out the extra firing, I kept an extra shot of the stormtrooper zipping about that I think you removed in your version? I wanted to keep it if possible, just to pad out the scene a little bit more. So I ended up reversing that shot too (so that the stormtrooper would maintain a constant movement to the right); and then, because Rey’s shot was now flying towards her, I added in an extra sound effect of a First Order blaster - now the shot originated from the stormtrooper. Because why not do all of that for an extra 10 frames that may-or-may-not work, right?
Is there any kind of quick shot that could go between the camera whip panning to the left and then whip panning to the right? The frames are similar enough that it’s a slightly jarring moment.
Otherwise, this is a big improvement.
Cap, are you talking about the cut right before Rey fires, with them struggling to get up? It’s like that in the original film, but I can try to trim it down, maybe? Perhaps something like this? https://streamable.com/tj861b
That said, I like bbghost’s thinking about it creating a deliberate disorienting effect. I could go either way on that.
That looks absolutely perfect now, as far as I’m concerned.
Not to go completely off-topic here, but does anyone else absolutely hate the Knights’ introduction? “Knights of Ren.” “Ghouls.” Ooooh, I’m so scared. The troopers just sound so bored and uninterested in them, so the Knights don’t come across as threatening at all. Since there are already a few people here with good stormtrooper voices, maybe someone would be willing to re-record the lines? Make the first line “Knights of Ren?” so that it sounds just absolutely terrified and almost awed (I’m thinking of how that one dude sounded when he learned the Emperor was coming to DSII in ROTJ.) and then the second trooper could sound equally awed and shocked with a different line.
“Knights of Ren?”
“Here?”
*cut*
I feel very silly, but I’d always misheard that line and assumed it was a lame attempt at a comedic moment:
“Knights of Ren.”
“Cool.”
I’ve successfully exported the version with the new crawl, but no matter what settings I use in Handbrake, I can’t get the file to play on my TV (it plays fine on my laptop). I have a Hisence UHD TV, and I just can’t figure it out. It’s driving me mad.
Quick crash landing mock-up, also incorporating bbghost’s idea:
Thoughts?
Is there any kind of quick shot that could go between the camera whip panning to the left and then whip panning to the right? The frames are similar enough that it’s a slightly jarring moment.
Otherwise, this is a big improvement.
That sounds totally doable. Every time people are about to have a lightsaber fight, cut to a G5 style battle with custom sprites for our Force-wielding trainers.
I like… a few seasons here and there… of the anime!
I’m more into the game accurate stuff like Origins, but to each their own.
Origins is great, I wish we’d gotten a season for Gen 2 (my favourite generation). I like the anime seasons Indigo League, Orange Islands, and Johto Journeys; after that I’m not interested until Sun & Moon. At the risk of getting seriously off-topic (Pokémon is the one franchise that rivals my love for Star Wars), the first three movies are also really good; the story of the guy who wrote them and why he left after the third one is really interesting.
This edit is going to percolate away in the back of my head until it eventually spills out into Premiere Pro, I just know it.
I didn’t even think of Luke on Ahch-To being Red in Mount Silver
That was what I was going for. I’m sorry if it wasn’t obvious.
Oh, no, it’s obvious. The issue was on my end lol.
Someone once suggested rescoring the SW movies with the Pokémon soundtrack. Are we inching towards that? Because, good.
It was the Pokemon anime, which I’d rather keep at a safe distance from.
I like… a few seasons here and there… of the anime!
I’ve now got the worst idea for an edit that I might actually make someday. Replace all the fights in TFA with pokémon battles. Absolutely awful, and I’d unironically watch the whole thing.
Feraligatr works well for Rey, but Luke always struck me as more of a Bulbasaur guy.
Oh shit you’re right! I was just automatically giving him Charizard due to being the Red equivalent.
I didn’t even think of Luke on Ahch-To being Red in Mount Silver, duh-doy. Yeah, he’d have Red’s complete team.
Kylo, obviously, is Silver, thus thematically making Vader Giovanni.
Someone once suggested rescoring the SW movies with the Pokémon soundtrack. Are we inching towards that? Because, good.
Add snow and wild onixes and golbats to Ach-To. When Rey makes it to the top and Luke turns around, the music changes to this. Luke sends out Charizard and Rey her Feraligatr.
Feraligatr works well for Rey, but Luke always struck me as more of a Bulbasaur guy.
Well, it took 3 hours and still needs a ton of work, but here’s a mockup of what my idea would look like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsoK55tHOEA
This is great! I, too, got chills.
My only real constructive criticism is that the final shot of Luke’s face when it punches in is too clearly different from the previous shot. I’d keep the same blurry image of a figure standing in the smoke we just saw, rather than suddenly having a sharp close-up of his face.
Alternatively, you could have the broadcast cut off slightly later than it does, so everyone sees one super clear shot of Luke emerging from the smoke before the signal is cut. That could be a cool iconic image.
I was thinking about this earlier. Shouldn’t the cloned palpatine faces in the liquid vats shown early in the film be younger versions of him and not disfigured?
Because Rey’s father was a clone of palpatine and was obviously show to be young. Unless I’m not remembering something correctly.
His ugly face is his real form. It’s why he doesn’t turn young when he sucks up Rey and Ben’s life force, and why he turns into that abomination in RotS.
Have we ever gotten a concrete answer on this in canon? I feel like it’s always been up to interpretation whether the deformity was from having his lightning reflected back, or if he was physically transforming now that he was finally shedding his innocent chancellor disguise. Same way I think it’s up to interpretation whether Windu actually defeated Palpatine in a duel or if Palpatine threw it for the sake of manipulating Anakin
I’ve always interpreted it that he wanted the Jedi to come and duel him, so he could make his play against the Jedi and manipulate Anakin further in one fell stroke, but not that he deliberately was throwing the duel. He kills the other three Jedi so easily, and only has trouble with Mace; he also had no way of knowing Anakin would show up at his office during the arrest, so when that happened, it was like a freebie for him.
As for the wrinkled face, he’s just a regular human of about forty when we first meet him in TPM; I don’t think there’s any indication he’s meant to be secretly monstrous looking, and the lightning just drains and whithers him. He’s normal looking as a teenager in the Darth Plagueis novel, though that was published later so it’s not exactly evidence of anything in ROTS.
Edit: Just read Jar Jar’s comment. Huh! The more you know.
Crawl text is ready to go and has been sent off! Here’s what I have, and why:
After years of civil war, the Republic is exhausted by relentless attacks from the ruthless Separatist leader Count Dooku. The Senate is desperate to win the war and end the conflict.
In his boldest move yet, the fiendish cyborg commander General Grievous has assaulted the Republic capital and captured its leader, Chancellor Palpatine.
As the Separatist forces attempt to break through the blockade with their valuable hostage, Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker lead a daring mission to rescue the Chancellor…
Para 1: I wanted to convey that everyone is just tired of the war continuing, and that the Senate’s approach to this is to just keep giving more power to Palpatine in order to win the thing rather than compromise by negotiating a ceasefire. In one scene of the movie, Padme practically begs Anakin to talk Palpatine into allowing diplomacy to resume; when her committee presents a plan for peace talks to Palpatine, he weasels out of it and dismisses the idea. This hopefully lends more depth to Palpatine as a canny career politician, and changes the Republic and its Senate from mindless puppets whose strings he pulls into people who have been worn down by a gruelling conflict, and have reached for flawed and human ways to end it without changing their own ways of life, allowing them to be exploited by Palpatine.
Para 2: I tried to make Grievous’ relation to Count Dooku in the Separatist military hierarchy clearer, so there’s more of a sense that the end days of the war have arrived when Dooku is killed and the lower ranking military-background Grievous becomes the Separatist leader - kind of like Doenitz succeeding Hitler, if you’re of a historical bent. I also wanted to ratchet up tension by making it clear that this wasn’t just any ordinary battle we were opening on; it was something unprecedented and could be a turning point in the war.
Para 3: I wanted to explain why the Separatist ships don’t just jump to hyperspace and vanish, and the vaguely unexplained concept of a “blockade” from The Phantom Menace seemed to fit that bill while also subtly tying the end of the prequel trilogy back to its start. I also tried to imply that Obi-Wan and Anakin aren’t the main focus of things here militarily speaking; they’re trying to be one little insignificant squad of fighters getting lost in the crowd of proper military tactics going on around them, zooming in on their own fringe mission to try an unconventional approach. Hopefully this makes them feel even more like a plucky band of heroes, and pays off with Anakin being so formally lauded by the politicians afterwards.
On the technical side of things, I’ve managed to export the movie, and I’ve also installed Handbrake. It’s like miracle software. I opened the movie file with it and it automatically set everything to the correct settings, removed the black bars, and exported it at half the file size with no noticeable difference in quality. Whoever makes this program should make all programs.
I’m going to hold off on sharing the file with anybody yet; I’m going to watch it through to “proofread” for any final mistakes that have slipped through, and I’ll wait until the new opening crawl (thank you Eyepainter!) is finished as well. This started as me just wanting to reinstate one line Hal cut from his version for my own personal viewing enjoyment, and turned into an entire fanedit of its own (albeit one I’d still consider a “tweak” moreso than a new thing in its own right, but even so). This site is a great community to be a part of.