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Wannabe Scholar

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3-May-2014
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5-Mar-2022
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Post
#1331487
Topic
What stories/intellectual properties (other than Star Wars) would you like to retell/rewrite?
Time

Anakin Starkiller said:

Well wouldn’t you know it, I’ve been brainstorming a Bionicle reboot that basically streamlines the original story. I hope to make the terminology easier to follow, among other things. Planning to actually make it happen as a stop-motion film series. I’ve always wanted to shoot Lego stop-motion on location, so this’ll give me the chance to do that. I’ll need to acquire the sets though, as I was too young to have grown up with the series prior to Glatorian, and thus own little of it from that time. I’m thinking of using a single Toa team for the entire Aqua Magna portion of the story. I’m trying to reduce the character count overall. The series was made to sell action figures, so unsurprisingly there’s an insane amount of characters. Probably not cutting any Glatorian characters, though, since there weren’t that many, and it made sense for that setting to have a lot of them. In fact, maybe I’ll move some popular character axed from earlier sections to there. I’ll also look into incorporating G2 elements if there’s room for them, but my priority is staying true to G1. I want to give it better closure though, taking cues from what we know of the original ending before it was cut short. Not sure what to do with Bota Magna, though. Aqua and Bara Magna each have their own cast, so I figure I should have a new cast there too, but what’s the setting like (besides jungle, obviously)? Are there six heroes like the Toa? Or a vast array of warriors for hire like the Glatorians? I feel it should be neither of those two, but I can’t think what.

Very interesting. I’d like to see what you can produce with a planned out plot and characters. Good luck with that!

Post
#1331238
Topic
What stories/intellectual properties (other than Star Wars) would you like to retell/rewrite?
Time

Okay, it has been sometime since I last posted in this thread, so I thought I’d get back to it.

  1. Kamen Rider The First and Kamen Rider The Next - Kamen Rider. What some fans call Batman to Super Sentai/Power Ranger’s Superman, where it tells the tale of guys wearing bug armor and riding motorcycles to defeat monsters. It is a rather interesting franchise (though I’m a little unsure of the newer stuff currently being released) that began with Kamen Rider (1971) and its sequel show, Kamen Rider V3. These two were rebooted into two movies: Kamen Rider The First and Kamen Rider The Next, each meant to give a more “adult” feel. I’d say it does that and it has amazing practical stunt work (see the links below for the fight scenes-you won’t regret it)… too bad the stories suck. The First suffers from being more of a Japanese romance drama more than superhero movie (with two male leads arguing over a woman) and The Next being split between the superhero aspects (which I honestly thought did a bit better than its predecessor) and J-horror (who took me out of the movie at times). That being said, a lot of the underlying aspects of both films could be carried over, as long as the stories and characters were given a new paint job that was closer the original series (think how MCU managed to stay true to the comics but kept an updated look to the heroes).

Kamen Rider THE FIRST - All Rider and Fight Scenes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N0Ud5ylmkk

Kamen Rider THE NEXT - All Riders/Shocker/Fight Scenes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mElMx0LMYYc

  1. Bionicle - In the time before time (aka 2000/2001), LEGO released it own original IP that told. It told a tale of six heroes washing ashore a golden beach, each a biomechanical being wearing masks of power and wielding a specific element (fire, air, water, earth, stone, and ice). Their mission: protect the island’s inhabitants from the evil Makuta and awaken Makuta’s brother, the wise Mata-Nui, from his slumber. A simple story, it grew and spanned over ten years, with each year related to the heroes whose stories were being told. The story ended up being of such titanic portions(quite literally) that Bionicle had a special place for me and a few other (to get more info, I’d suggest to look at the YouTube link below). That being said, MAN did it get convoluted near the end. Not just story but the medium too. Bionicle was told in comics, books, games, and even movies, but all of them didn’t necessarily fit with each other 100%. Not to mention how much terminology was thrown out there by the end of its first run in 2010 it almost got confusing to some people. That being said, if I was ever get to Bionicle, the story would more or less be the same but everything would be more streamlined into a series of novels/movies/tv episodes so it can be more understandable and accessible to old fans and newcomers (something that the short-lived reboot failed to do).

Lego Rewind Finale- Bionicle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYjGvQJmpqA

  1. Star Trek Enterprise - Perhaps one of the most disliked part of Star Trek I had seen before the newer films and Discovery, but it was the first Star Trek I had properly watched when I was growing up in the 2000s (I had seen Star Trek: Generations before a couple movies, but that’s it). I don’t remember liking a lot of it, save for bits of the Xindi arc, the episodes on the Terran Empire in the mirror universe, and the one where Captain Archer went back in time to right Nazis who took control of America in an alternate timeline. I may not necessarily be the best person to write this, but if I was, I’d try to focus more on the temporal cold war as an overaching story that may end with rise of the Federation while putting more emphasize more on the “unsung heroes” aspect I hear that show may have been going for.

  2. Voltron: Legendary Defender - Yeah, part of had this in my head for a little while. Surmise to say, I liked Voltron’s first couple seasons, disliked a lot that happened after, and stopped watching altogether after season 6. There are tons of issues that came with seasons 3 - 6 and more afterwards, but I’d say watch the link below to get a better understanding (you’ll find it matches quiet lot of my own thoughts on the show). Overall, if I was to rewrite Voltron, I’d probably just redo the whole thing from the ground up and probably take inspiration from the Japanese source material, GoLion. I found it a bit odd how rushed the story was, so I thought starting from there would be good and work my way up. Of course, I probably wouldn’t do a lot of the thing the show did (and fans liked), but I’d like to take it easy like how Avatar: The Last Airbender did.

How Voltron: Legendary Defender Crashed and Burned (ft. Jalisa Weschen): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ae5oovf1CEo

Post
#1328950
Topic
Rewriting the OT, only using SW77 and Lucas' original ideas
Time

Hello. I’ve talked about rewriting the OT, and I’d like to do it again in this thread. However, this will be using the original SW77/ANH as the basis, as well as using Lucas’ original ideas (e.g. Anakin and Vader are separate people, and Luke’s twin sister was a girl other than Leia).

I’ll admit, this idea started out because I wanted to distance myself from the existing SW movies as much as possible (especially given the drama in and out the recently-released movies). However, that doesn’t meant I’m curious to see what can be made up in this case. After all, would an OT rewrite like this include/exclude ESB,would there be original characters you’d like to add, etc.? I’d be glad to know what you guys can come up with (and I may put something down if I ever do finish completing my idea in the future). Take care!

Post
#1328946
Topic
If you were a fan in the 1980s, what did you imagine for Episodes VII, VIII, and IX villains?
Time

Hmm, I’m not completely sure how to answer that. As someone who grew up with the EU in the 2000s, I often look at them and use those existing characters as inspiration to form my own villains and what not.

But if I was in the 1980s, I’d think the villains in VII, VIII, and IX would be in the same vein as Lumiya and the Nagai from the Marvel Star Wars comics. Or possibly come up with a new group who can use the Force and serve as a rival to the new Jedi Knights (who are not Sith and/or 100% dark side). I dunno. Just spitballing here.

Post
#1328943
Topic
General Writing, Illustration, and Publishing Thread
Time

Nice to see something like this here. I’ll throw my two cents in, if that’s okay. Below is a link to a playlist of lectures on creative writing, taught by Mistborn and Stormlight Archive author Brandon Sanderson. I think they’re nice, and I suggest to check them out if you’re interested in writing.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSH_xM-KC3Zv-79sVZTTj-YA6IAqh8qeQ

Post
#1320780
Topic
Random PT ideas
Time

Space Medievalist said:

Wannabe Scholar said:

Space Medievalist said:

Wannabe Scholar said:

Hello again, this is another idea for a different PT I planned a few years back. It had been a very different story, where Anakin and Vader were two different people, and was totally inspired by the old “Clone Wars Explained” article from the 1980s I found online (link is here: http://nightly.net/topic/253-article-found-while-surfing-the-net/). Down below is what was once just a small bit, which was once a couple lines here and there and has been turned into a complete excerpt. Hopefully, this is good enough to pique your interest.


It was dark, cold, and wet. Those were the first things he noticed as he came to. For a long moment, there was nothing else, except the feeling of weightlessness and the sound of his own breathing.

Then, there was something from the quiet. A sound of some kind. A shout, he thought. And at last, he managed to open his eyes. Bubbles rose up and down, and through the transparent glass, he saw them. Computers beeping and blinking, people donned in white clothes, and cylindrical tanks, identical to the one he was in, lined up against the wall.

The darkness was gone, but the cold and wet remained. Where he was, what was going on, or even who he was, he had no idea. He was just a body floating in a sloshing and slimy substance.

Bacta, his mind told him. This stuff is called bacta. You’re in a bacta tank.

The words echoed in the back of his mind, as if he was supposed to know it from getgo. Still, he couldn’t help but feel something strange, even unknown about them. He knew the words, but had no connection to them. Were they important to him? Why?

Again, that automatic part of his brain answered. You’re not fully developed. You need bacta, if you want to grow into a perfect being.

Again, he was confused. ‘Grow?’ ‘Perfect being?’ None of the words seem to make sense to him.

The shouting came back, cutting him away from his thoughts. He saw the men in white running back and forth, giving out commands that were barely audible to him.

“… Xanatos’ dead… Jedi coming… do we do?”

“Disconnect the… from the tanks!”

“… won’t survive!”

“Orders are…”

Moments passed, and the men in white went around their duties. He watched them play with their computers. He barely managed to catch some of the tanks suddenly going dark. The bodies inside moved around a little before there was nothing.

Then, pain roared in his head. He heard the screams in his mind, the screams of the other people in the tanks as their lives went out one by one. His hands grabbed his head, wanting to turn off the screams. He could not and suffered hearing the voices cry out in terror before they were suddenly silenced.

All of a sudden, through the cries, he managed to hear something. Before long, there was something else…

A loud BOOM echoed, and the tank, perhaps the entire room, shook, making him just barely look. Smoke filled every corner, covering the men in white with cloud of gray and black. First thing was shouting, then a loud hum as a rod of blue light swung through the smoke and struck down any who approached it.

Events ran too quickly for him to process. What was going on? Why was he hearing all these screams in his mind?! What was happening to him?!

It was at that point he noticed the bacta in his tank was starting to turn dark. Now, he was afraid. He was about to join the poor fellow and be nothing more than a floating corpse. And he would feel it all as he died.

As he thoughts those morbid thoughts, he saw the blue light came through the smoke and struck the tank. The glass shattered, and he slid out onto the floor like a newborn out of its mother’s womb. He yanked the breath mask off, and he finally felt fresh air. His efforts for breathing it in were rewarded with spurts of bacta coughed up from his lungs.

Slowly, he rose until he sat in the puddle of bacta and shivered from what little of the slimy substance still clung to him and his modest clothing. After clearing his lungs of the putrid liquid, he took notice of the other bodies lying around him. They weren’t like him, who was dressed in a thin suit of clothing. They were the men in white, the same who had tried to terminate him, and they lied motionlessly, with horrible burnt scars stretched across their bodies.

Standing over the corpses was a man. This man was not donned in white, but in a light uniform and a brown cloak. In his hand was a cylindrical hilt, from which the blue rod of light came out of. The man stood with an aura of calm… and regret. Not just towards him, but to the others lying at his feet. But who was this man to have such sympathy for him, let alone the people who had tried to kill him?

A Jedi Knight, recalled his programmed mind. An enemy.

He thought about that. An enemy? That couldn’t be right. This Jedi had helped him, saved from the same fate as the others. If he was an enemy, why would he do such a thing?

Eliminate him, the voice in his head commanded, but he tried to shut it out. Eliminate the Jedi!

“Don’t be afraid,” the man, the Jedi, said. “I’m here to help.”

The Jedi’s voice brought a feeling. He could only describe it as calm, at peace. The parts of his mind that cried out for the Jedi’s destruction faded away.

No longer haunted by his thoughts, he spoke. The sound of speaking for the first time had hurt his throat, and it came out in a hoarse croak. “Y-you can help me?”

“Yes, I can,” the Jedi smiled, and his beard seemed to do so too. “My name’s Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi. What’s yours?”

He opened his mouth, then stopped. Then, he looked down at band around his wrist. On it was a tag on it: VDR-142.

At last, he looked up and answered, “Vader, sir. It’s Vader.”


At the sound of a high-pitched and constantly repeated beeping, Vader’s eyes snapped open. He rubbed a hand over the weary eye sockets before he rolled on his side. By the bed, the source of his disturbance continued to ring, until Vader finally pressed the button and answered.

“Yes?” he said with a small yawn.

Captain Cody’s voice came through. “Sir, Master Luminara and her student have just arrived.”

A bit of excitement leaped up Vader’s throat as he raised his head from his pillow. “Where are they, now?” he asked, a little more loudly than he wanted.

“By the console chamber. They and General Kenobi are waiting for you.”

“I’ll be right there,” and with an excited click, Vader shut off the comm and sat up from his bed.

Barriss is here, he thought excitedly as he pictured the bright green face of Luminara’s pupil and her warm smile.

Vader had seen that same smile back when he first met Barriss at the Temple. Then, he was just inducted into the Jedi and in dire need of companionship. Vader had found it in a few Jedi students, Barriss more special than the rest, so he would be glad to be with her whenever he had the chance.

It was not long before Vader had put on his dark uniform. After putting on his pants and boots, Vader neatly pressed the seams of his tunic and added the long, flapping cloak to his Jedi look. His mask, the last thing left, rested by the mirror in his quarters, so Vader went over to grab it.

Vader’s hand halted when he looked at the mirror. It was meant to be just a glance, to see if he was primed and ready for Barriss, and the Jedi Masters. Then, it turned into a long, deep glance.

As Vader stared at the mirror, he looked at the face in it. He saw the familiar deep, blue eyes, cleft chin, and wavy, blond hair. He had the same muscular look to him, albeit he was a bit scrawny due to him being genetically a few years younger. Still, it was the same look, the same face.

The face of Anakin Skywalker.

No else, other than a few, knew about Vader’s secret. The masters on the Jedi Council had told him to use a partial face-mask hide his identity from everyone. The reasoning was as such; if anyone knew about the truth of Vader’s origins, there would be a major panic. People would be in a uproar over the Jedi having a clone among their numbers.

A clone. As distasteful as the word sounded, Vader couldn’t deny it. He was clone, nothing more. A mere copy, made from a Jedi pupil’s DNA, no doubt taken from some severed limb. Obi-Wan assured Vader otherwise, but the words did little to hide the truth lurking in the back of both their minds.

Slowly, Vader slid the mask into place, hiding portion of Anakin Skywalker. He did not need to worry about that. Now, he had to meet with someone important to him, and he would meet her as Vader, not Anakin’s copy.

If you have anything more of this concept I would gladly read it

Thank you and here you go.

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Under-Darkened-Skies-a-cancelled-and-forgotten-PT-idea/id/54397

You ever gonna give it another shot?

Eh, probably not. I may take some ideas from it and put it into my PT rewrite (that is whenever I can actually settle on how the plot will go), but I don’t think I’ll ever fully flesh this idea out.

Post
#1320773
Topic
Random PT ideas
Time

Space Medievalist said:

Wannabe Scholar said:

Hello again, this is another idea for a different PT I planned a few years back. It had been a very different story, where Anakin and Vader were two different people, and was totally inspired by the old “Clone Wars Explained” article from the 1980s I found online (link is here: http://nightly.net/topic/253-article-found-while-surfing-the-net/). Down below is what was once just a small bit, which was once a couple lines here and there and has been turned into a complete excerpt. Hopefully, this is good enough to pique your interest.


It was dark, cold, and wet. Those were the first things he noticed as he came to. For a long moment, there was nothing else, except the feeling of weightlessness and the sound of his own breathing.

Then, there was something from the quiet. A sound of some kind. A shout, he thought. And at last, he managed to open his eyes. Bubbles rose up and down, and through the transparent glass, he saw them. Computers beeping and blinking, people donned in white clothes, and cylindrical tanks, identical to the one he was in, lined up against the wall.

The darkness was gone, but the cold and wet remained. Where he was, what was going on, or even who he was, he had no idea. He was just a body floating in a sloshing and slimy substance.

Bacta, his mind told him. This stuff is called bacta. You’re in a bacta tank.

The words echoed in the back of his mind, as if he was supposed to know it from getgo. Still, he couldn’t help but feel something strange, even unknown about them. He knew the words, but had no connection to them. Were they important to him? Why?

Again, that automatic part of his brain answered. You’re not fully developed. You need bacta, if you want to grow into a perfect being.

Again, he was confused. ‘Grow?’ ‘Perfect being?’ None of the words seem to make sense to him.

The shouting came back, cutting him away from his thoughts. He saw the men in white running back and forth, giving out commands that were barely audible to him.

“… Xanatos’ dead… Jedi coming… do we do?”

“Disconnect the… from the tanks!”

“… won’t survive!”

“Orders are…”

Moments passed, and the men in white went around their duties. He watched them play with their computers. He barely managed to catch some of the tanks suddenly going dark. The bodies inside moved around a little before there was nothing.

Then, pain roared in his head. He heard the screams in his mind, the screams of the other people in the tanks as their lives went out one by one. His hands grabbed his head, wanting to turn off the screams. He could not and suffered hearing the voices cry out in terror before they were suddenly silenced.

All of a sudden, through the cries, he managed to hear something. Before long, there was something else…

A loud BOOM echoed, and the tank, perhaps the entire room, shook, making him just barely look. Smoke filled every corner, covering the men in white with cloud of gray and black. First thing was shouting, then a loud hum as a rod of blue light swung through the smoke and struck down any who approached it.

Events ran too quickly for him to process. What was going on? Why was he hearing all these screams in his mind?! What was happening to him?!

It was at that point he noticed the bacta in his tank was starting to turn dark. Now, he was afraid. He was about to join the poor fellow and be nothing more than a floating corpse. And he would feel it all as he died.

As he thoughts those morbid thoughts, he saw the blue light came through the smoke and struck the tank. The glass shattered, and he slid out onto the floor like a newborn out of its mother’s womb. He yanked the breath mask off, and he finally felt fresh air. His efforts for breathing it in were rewarded with spurts of bacta coughed up from his lungs.

Slowly, he rose until he sat in the puddle of bacta and shivered from what little of the slimy substance still clung to him and his modest clothing. After clearing his lungs of the putrid liquid, he took notice of the other bodies lying around him. They weren’t like him, who was dressed in a thin suit of clothing. They were the men in white, the same who had tried to terminate him, and they lied motionlessly, with horrible burnt scars stretched across their bodies.

Standing over the corpses was a man. This man was not donned in white, but in a light uniform and a brown cloak. In his hand was a cylindrical hilt, from which the blue rod of light came out of. The man stood with an aura of calm… and regret. Not just towards him, but to the others lying at his feet. But who was this man to have such sympathy for him, let alone the people who had tried to kill him?

A Jedi Knight, recalled his programmed mind. An enemy.

He thought about that. An enemy? That couldn’t be right. This Jedi had helped him, saved from the same fate as the others. If he was an enemy, why would he do such a thing?

Eliminate him, the voice in his head commanded, but he tried to shut it out. Eliminate the Jedi!

“Don’t be afraid,” the man, the Jedi, said. “I’m here to help.”

The Jedi’s voice brought a feeling. He could only describe it as calm, at peace. The parts of his mind that cried out for the Jedi’s destruction faded away.

No longer haunted by his thoughts, he spoke. The sound of speaking for the first time had hurt his throat, and it came out in a hoarse croak. “Y-you can help me?”

“Yes, I can,” the Jedi smiled, and his beard seemed to do so too. “My name’s Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi. What’s yours?”

He opened his mouth, then stopped. Then, he looked down at band around his wrist. On it was a tag on it: VDR-142.

At last, he looked up and answered, “Vader, sir. It’s Vader.”


At the sound of a high-pitched and constantly repeated beeping, Vader’s eyes snapped open. He rubbed a hand over the weary eye sockets before he rolled on his side. By the bed, the source of his disturbance continued to ring, until Vader finally pressed the button and answered.

“Yes?” he said with a small yawn.

Captain Cody’s voice came through. “Sir, Master Luminara and her student have just arrived.”

A bit of excitement leaped up Vader’s throat as he raised his head from his pillow. “Where are they, now?” he asked, a little more loudly than he wanted.

“By the console chamber. They and General Kenobi are waiting for you.”

“I’ll be right there,” and with an excited click, Vader shut off the comm and sat up from his bed.

Barriss is here, he thought excitedly as he pictured the bright green face of Luminara’s pupil and her warm smile.

Vader had seen that same smile back when he first met Barriss at the Temple. Then, he was just inducted into the Jedi and in dire need of companionship. Vader had found it in a few Jedi students, Barriss more special than the rest, so he would be glad to be with her whenever he had the chance.

It was not long before Vader had put on his dark uniform. After putting on his pants and boots, Vader neatly pressed the seams of his tunic and added the long, flapping cloak to his Jedi look. His mask, the last thing left, rested by the mirror in his quarters, so Vader went over to grab it.

Vader’s hand halted when he looked at the mirror. It was meant to be just a glance, to see if he was primed and ready for Barriss, and the Jedi Masters. Then, it turned into a long, deep glance.

As Vader stared at the mirror, he looked at the face in it. He saw the familiar deep, blue eyes, cleft chin, and wavy, blond hair. He had the same muscular look to him, albeit he was a bit scrawny due to him being genetically a few years younger. Still, it was the same look, the same face.

The face of Anakin Skywalker.

No else, other than a few, knew about Vader’s secret. The masters on the Jedi Council had told him to use a partial face-mask hide his identity from everyone. The reasoning was as such; if anyone knew about the truth of Vader’s origins, there would be a major panic. People would be in a uproar over the Jedi having a clone among their numbers.

A clone. As distasteful as the word sounded, Vader couldn’t deny it. He was clone, nothing more. A mere copy, made from a Jedi pupil’s DNA, no doubt taken from some severed limb. Obi-Wan assured Vader otherwise, but the words did little to hide the truth lurking in the back of both their minds.

Slowly, Vader slid the mask into place, hiding portion of Anakin Skywalker. He did not need to worry about that. Now, he had to meet with someone important to him, and he would meet her as Vader, not Anakin’s copy.

If you have anything more of this concept I would gladly read it

Thank you and here you go.

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Under-Darkened-Skies-a-cancelled-and-forgotten-PT-idea/id/54397

Post
#1313972
Topic
SW: Beyond Trilogy (Episodes X, XI, and XII) - CANCELLED
Time

Welp, I’ve been hearing about Episode 9’s stuff and even seen a couple clips online (I never had any interest in seeing the film, and I don’t I will watch the full movie anytime soon). I am surprised to find out how right I was about this not affecting my Beyond Trilogy. A few changes may have to made to the totality of it, so it can (indirectly) address a few missteps of the sequel trilogy. However, I don’t think the overall plot of the Beyond Trilogy will change that much. Hopefully, I can get Episode XI out, but I can say when as I’m still stuck on the first act.

Until I do put the plot synopsis, take care.

Post
#1309911
Topic
Random PT ideas
Time

Hello there. I’ve got another random idea for my PT… Well more like a scene, specifically involving Obi-Wan and Owen Lars (who are brothers, followinf what had been stated in the ROTJ novelization). I’ve been redoing my PT constantly that I’m not sure to keep this scene (if I do, I’ll probably make a lot of changes to it). For what it’s worth, I hope you enjoy it.


“Another refugee ship,” Beru said offhandedly as another black vessel flew far above to drop off the latest arrivals. “How many do you think that makes since yesterday?”

“Best not to think about it,” Owen
said, putting his datapad on the table. He had seen enough ships, both on his way and over the past few days on Coruscant, that he wanted to look at anything else. “What is taking him so long? I thought you said Anakin would come.”

“I did,” Beru frowned at Owen. “He could be busy with his studies. Jedi stuff and all…”

“Yeah…” Owen said, frowning himself.

“What is it about the Jedi? I’m not trying to be biased, but I only ever heard rumors about them.”

“Why are you asking me?” Owen huffed. A knowing look from Beru made him sigh in defeat. Scratching his head, Owen said, “Well, from what I heard, they use this Force stuff. Some energy or something like it. They train to use it and defend the folk… well the folk here, that is.”

“Huh, not too far from the stories I guess,” Beru said with a tiny smile. “Maybe Anakin can do some good with them.”

“They’re just a bunch of crazy wizards with crazy powers and strict rules, Beru. Anakin is anything but strict. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got kicked out because of his thick head!” Owen barked.

It was then he realized the stares on him, not just from Beru, but from the other customers, alien and human alike. Owen turned away from a three-eyed blob to Beru, who was just embarrassed as he was. “… Sorry… just a little on edge. Maybe it’s the air,” Owen said quietly and yanked at his collar.

“Okay…" Beru said as she put her hands on the table. "Maybe I should get us drinks. You want a Coruscant Garbler?”

Please."

At Owen’s sighing insistence, Beru slid out of her seat and went inside the giant gorge of restaurant. It was so far different from the cantina on Tatooine: loud and large, crowded to the brim, and always busy. There were many people that Owen and Beru had to take one of the few tables outside, right by the street of Coruscant’s mid-level. At bottom of the thousand-story skyscrapers, there were new arrivals, many poor refugees begging for money. Others were regular citizens minding their business.

Owen, minding his, was surprised by the glass sliding onto his table. Whatever liquid was in the glass, it wasn’t alcohol. “Hey, I didn’t ask for…” Owen began, but he stopped when he saw a lightsaber on his server’s belt.

The man with the saber smiled down. “Hello Owen," he greeted.

Looking up, Owen clenched his jaw. He suppressed the flash of surprise and anger, otherwise he’d make the other man’s face the same color as his Jedi uniform. Owen kept his expression while his server sat in Beru’s seat.

“I hope everything is alright,” the man went on. “I heard you and your fiance were held by the authorities. Must have been an unpleasant experience.”

“It was,” Owen said at last, fully aware who helped get him and Beru out of jail. “So, what name do you go by now?”

“It’s Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“Mom’s maiden name?” Owen raised an eyebrow then lowered it. “I guess that makes sense, given her history…”

Obi-Wan fell into an uncomfortable silence before he continued, “How is the farm doing?”

“Well enough."

“Ah, that’s good…” Obi-Wan fell into another awkward silence. “Have you visited the Jedi Temple? I didn’t see you-”

Owen cut him off. “Beru and I visited already. We were there to visit… someone.”

“You mean young Skywalker?” Obi-Wan said, and Owen cursed those freakish Jedi powers to read minds. “I didn’t read your mind, Owen. I merely guessed from your transmissions-”

“You’ve been spying on me?”

Obi-Wan hadn’t answered that. “-I was honestly surprised when I read some of them. I never thought you would’ve let anyone you knew join the Jedi.”

“I didn’t,” Owen interjected, frowning deeply. “If I had a say in it, he wouldn’t be here.”

“You aren’t his older brother, Owen,” Obi-Wan told him patiently.

“No,” Owen agreed but added, “but I have to act like it. After what Shmi did for us, I owe her to make sure her son is alright.”

Obi-Wan leaned forward, much like how their father used to. “Owen, you have to admit he has impressive skills. His piloting is by far is incredible. I saw him fly back on Taris," he said in that calm Jedi tone Owen found too irritating. "His skill is very impressive. His reflexes are beyond any of the other initiates I’ve seen so far. To deny him a chance with the Jedi is-”

“You don’t get it, do you?” Owen cut him off. “Anakin’s not supposed to even be here! He’s supposed to stay back home, not getting involved in this crusade!”

Obi-Wan frowned. “I would hardly call it a crusade, Owen. If you haven’t heard, the war will end soon. I am surprised you’re so angry about this.”

“You know, for all your Jedi powers, you can’t see Bantha dung,” Owen huffed. He went on before Obi-Wan could talk. “What are you surprised of? The fact Anakin left home and everyone behind without saying a word? That he didn’t even say goodbye?!”

Like you did.

Owen held his tongue before he said it. Across the table, Obi-Wan caught on the meaning. His face clearly showed he did, crazy powers or no. Owen didn’t care. He didn’t care about the stares from the nearby patrons of the restaurant. He did care when he heard Beru came in, two drinks in hand.

"Owen, what is…” Beru said and stopped, eyeing the man sitting with her fiance. “Um, hello?”

Obi-Wan’s stoic face warmed at Beru, and he stood up. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to steal your seat,” he said, earning a short from Owen. He didn’t pay attention and raise a hand. “I don’t believe we’ve met before. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Beru looked to Obi-Wan then Owen then back, her eyes brightening. “Oh! You must be that Jedi Owen told me about! I’ll-oh wait…” she said and briefly paused to put her drinks down. “Let me get you a seat. There is so much I want to ask you-”

“Afraid not, Beru,” Owen cut her off, his eyes on Obi-Wan. “The Jedi here is leaving right now.”

Obi-Wan met the glare calmly. “Yes… I’m afraid I do have other duties,” he said quietly then he looked to Beru, smiling. “Maybe we can meet another time. You can come to the Temple and call for me.”

“Oh, um, alright,” Beru said awkwardly. “Nice meeting you.”

“And it was nice to meet you, too.” Obi-Wan looked to the seated Owen. “… And you as well, Owen. You have given me much to think about.”

“Yeah,” Owen grumbled, grabbing his drink. “If you ever see Anakin, tell him to look at his mother’s message.”

Owen didn’t bother watching Obi-Wan go. He drowned himself in his drink, pouring it down in one gulp. When he slammed the had-empty glass on the table, Owen breathed from the cool sting in his throat.

“Easy, Owen!” Beru said. “You don’t want to hurt yourself-”

“It’s fine,” he rasped. “We don’t come by this stuff on Tatooine. Might as well enjoy it.”

Sitting down, Beru sighed. “Oh, brother… not this again.”

Owen shot his eyes up to her. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” she said, and Owen took another swing of his drink.

After he set down his empty glass again, Owen finally noticed the contents of his other drink. Blue milk.

With a tinge of nostalgia for home, it wasn’t long until Owen started drinking it.

Post
#1308883
Topic
What stories/intellectual properties (other than Star Wars) would you like to retell/rewrite?
Time

Anakin Starkiller said:

I’m currently in the very early stages of planning a Miraculous Ladybug rewrite. The show has some much potential but is let down by a repetitive formula and childishly flat characters. I’ve wanted to tackle this for a long time, but my interest was recently resparked when I had the idea to use French pop singer Alizée for the soundtrack. The show is set in France, and her style matches that of the main theme. I’m thinking of doing a movie instead of a show, though.

I’ve heard a bunch of things about Miraculous Ladybug, but it never really interested me for the reasons you’ve stated. I’m interested to see how you would rewrite it, especially as a movie (which sounds easier really).

  1. Doctor Who (2005)

That’s a hell of a lot of rewrites you’re giving yourself, there.

Yep, it is. But sometimes, my ideas just keep on bugging me until I start writing (… and then I give up on it after having lose interest, like a little child with their toys).

Post
#1307926
Topic
What stories/intellectual properties (other than Star Wars) would you like to retell/rewrite?
Time

DuracellEnergizer said:

Stargate

Stargate '94 has amazing costumes, sets, music, and lore, but weak writing and characterization. Stargate SG-1 has good characterization and writing, but it feels like a Trek knockoff, complete with generic English-speaking extraterrestrial civilizations and technobabble. I’d essentially like to craft a Stargate reboot which contains all the best elements of SG '94, SG-1, SGU, and the Bill McCay novels, and none of their worst.

I’d probably limit the humans seeded across the galaxy to north African stock rather than go gung-ho with Greeks, Chinese, Native Americans. etc. Also, no frickin’ Ancients/Ori/Ascension. That stuff wrecked Stargate for me.

Yeah, I can agree with that (partly anyway). As much as I love SG-1 up to Season 6/7 (since I pretty much liked Anubis and I do like the Ancients to a degree), I admittedly can see the humans across the galaxy being more North Africans (e.g. Berbers/Amazigh, etc.) than to being really close to what we perceive as the great ancient civilizations. And yeah, the Ori bits freaking sucked. I was okay with Ascension to a point since it gave me Anubis (one of my favorite SG-1 villains, even if he can be a Palpatine knockoff), but it really went off the rails after Anubis was defeated over Antartica.

Anyway, I have some ideas, so continuing off my list:

  1. The Legend of Korra - As someone who likes Avatar: The Last Airbender, I had been looking forward to its sequel, The Legend of Korra (or TLOK), and I did enjoy the show… at the beginning. When I first saw Korra, I thoguht of her hotheaded attitude to be like Raphael from Ninja Turtles but she would grow over time to be more mature. Sadly, that didn’t exactly happen. Over time, the show really got convoluted with its mythos, overturned its magic systems, sacrificed good character development with rushed storytelling and deus ex-machinas at the end of every season, lacked a central villain for the heroes to fight, and plagued by fan ships, just to name a few of its issues. As a result, I’d like to rewrite TLOK from the ground up. It’s main focus would take place in Republic City, the setting of season 1, as the heroes would focus on the rebellion growing inside it (which would remain as the ONLY threat that spread across the world of the show). Relationships between characters would grow over time and try test each other as their feelings are conflicted, following the cliches of teenage dramas that the show originally went for (only not as obnoxious and annoying as what the show actually did).

  2. Kamen Rider Dragon Knight - For a show whose source material is supposed to be the older sibling to Power Ranger’s, I get the feeling there is a lot ‘Kamen Rider Dragon Knight’ now that I look back on it. I have grown a soft spot for the show and will praise it for its technical prowess and choreography. I mean, you get to see twelve armored warriors - Kamen Riders - fighting each other while being manipulated by an evil warlord trying to enslave humanity as he did with the dimension where the Kamen Rider come from. As interesting as the premise is and as well done the show could be (it won an Emmy - just to put that out there), its story and execution does suffer with some flaws. It followed more of a series style (with one episode leading into the other), separating itself from Power Rangers. However, I feel that the show should’ve been a bit more episodic to let viewers digest what is going on yet be more intertwined to bind the whole story together (like how Gargoyles was at one point).

  3. RWBY - Okay, this is tricky. The original creator, Monty Oum, died about five years ago, so the show hasn’t really been the same since then. While the show was far from perfect, I was attracted by its art design and fight choreography when its first trailer was released in 2012-ish. I was with the show when it first aired on 2013, but I ended up giving up during the show’s 6th season (which happened last year I think). Quite a few fans dropped RWBY for a plethora of reasons: its inconsistent magic system, not good storytelling that got worse, firing an actor who was accused of sexual harrassment even though I believe there wasn’t any hard evidence to condemn the man (and I got out before that happen, so MAN did I dodge a bullet there!), sudden additions to the lore without clarifying and improving upon what came before, etc. There’s already a guy on YouTube called Switchback who is making his own reboot, called RWBY: Cherish. For me, I’d try to do a lot in my rewrite with what Switchback is doing for his - only I’d mix in my love for martial art films (Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, etc.) into the choreography to replace the high-octane action RWBY’s early seasons is well known for. Plus, I’d try to smooth out a lot of details regarding the world and story (how does its magic system work, racism and prejudice in the world, what is its defined lore, etc.).

Post
#1307772
Topic
What stories/intellectual properties (other than Star Wars) would you like to retell/rewrite?
Time

This is just a little idea, but there have been (of course) a TON of rewrites/retellings/re-edits/etc. focus on Star Wars. Just curious, what other stories/franchises/intellectual properties/things-not-Star-Wars would you like to retell/rewrite? This can be comics, videogames, TV shows, movies, etc. Also, the reasons for you wanting to retell/rewrite can be anything, ranging from not liking one tiny thing to just wanting to tell your own version. I’ve got my own list below, if anyone’s interested.

  1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Okay, this might be a bit more difficult to tackle. I like Ninja Turtles, and I was kinda excited to see what the next show would be after the 2012 Ninja Turtles cartoon show. However, ‘Rise of the TMNT’ sacrifices heart-felt moments for jokes that end up not funny as a result (much like TLJ, the more that I think about it). Not really helped with the darker mystical themes surrounding the villains (who are just as goofy as the Ninja Turtles themselves in this show). Maybe it’s because I’m more of a fan of the 2003 Ninja Turtles cartoon (which made me realize the Shredder’s origins in ‘Rise of the TMNT’ is taken directly from the 2003’s lost fifth season). That being said, I do think there is potential, if only the story and tone needs a lot of fixing. Plus, it would be a great way to promote the show’s version of April O’Neill. Though, I think I’ll try to make my own version which is a mix of the 2003 and 2012 TMNT shows.

  2. Doctor Who (2005) - I am very much biased, since I grew up watching classic Doctor Who (which is far from perfect), but I’ve never really been a fan of the new series (really, it almost ruined David Tennant for me). I didn’t like how the writers emphasized their hero-worship of the time-traveling Doctor, I didn’t like how most of the (female) companions were just meant to be kissed by the Doctor, I didn’t like how the seasons/series endings were just taking one (type of) bad guy and making them bigger or more in numbers, I didn’t like how the Doctor turned from a grandfatherly character into that one friend/brother who keeps on giving speeches and never shuts up, etc., etc., etc. That being said, I do like some episodes on their own, and I gave a shot at it, the story and characters would probably be much different (and probably not as marketable to the young, female demographic as the actual show it) which try to mix the best of both the classic and the reboot while bridging the two in a more cohesive way. The Doctor himself would be given an air of mystery by simply avoiding a lot of the “questions” that certain writers tease to answer only to never to.

  3. Stargate Infinity - The cartoon spinoff of Stargate: SG-1 that didn’t really fall in continuity with the actual series and was more focused on gimmicks to sell as action figures rather than good storytelling. Admittedly, I had seen it as a guilty pleasure and I think the premise has some weight to it, so I think a whole makeover (different villains, new worlds, greater cohesion with the established continuity) could’ve made the show much better. The tone would change so the show is a little closer to ‘Gargoyles’ or ‘Batman: The Animated Series.’

  4. Stargate Universe - A show that is pretty much the SG-1 ripoff of Battlestar Galactica. It’s premise is similar to ‘Infinity,’ only it is more for adults. Really, much of the problems with ‘Universe’ are the opposite of Infinity, in terms of tone. It just needs to be redone to keep it fun like the original SG-1 show (and a camera that doesn’t move all over the place like it does in Battlestar Galactica).

Post
#1306020
Topic
Random non-SW story ideas
Time

Another non-SW idea for this thread. This is for Kamen Rider, a franchise belonging to Toei and Shotaro Ishinomori which follows a similar idea to Power Rangers/Super Sentai, in that there is a guy who transforms into a hero to fight monsters. Much like Power Rangers/Super Sentai, there is a new show every year that has a new group of characters and a new motif for the Kamen Rider of that year (ranging from ancient artifacts, to cyborg bugs, to cell phones, to playing cards, etc.).

With Kamen Rider’s 50th anniversary coming up in 2021 (and my tenth on Fanfiction.net under the penname ‘Kamen Rider Raika’), I’m planning to write this little fanfiction. So far, there is just the prologue which you will see below, but I hope you like it.


April 3, 2071

“ALERT! ALERT! INTRUDERS IN THE FACILITY! INTRUDERS IN THE-!”

The words were cut off by a man slamming into the shouting console on the wall. Sparks flew up from the now-broken console, and the man slumped into an unconscious form on the sterilized floor. Cautiously walking by the man and his pale white clothes, a figure in green armor his red eyes at his comrade and asked, “Don’t you think that was a bit much?”

The other man in golden armor snorted, his boots stepping over the minion without care. A low tone left his grilled mouth plate, showing greater experience that his green compatriot lacked. “He was in the way,” he explained.

“I don’t think Aqua would like it,” said the green figure.

“He won’t complain. Not when he sees we’ve made a way in for him and the other Riders,” retorted the golden man, waving a gauntlet-covered hand to the long trail of unconscious men and women behind. Turning back around, he returned his red lens down the long hall. “Come on. The sooner we stop Foundation X, the better.”

The green figure sighed in defeat and followed his older compatriot, right by the giant X plastered on the wall. There had been some groans, but they were of no concern. Those henchmen wouldn’t wake up anytime soon, and when they did, they would be in cuffs. Still, the green man wondered aloud over the echoing steps of armored boots, “It would be easier if we knew where this so-called great weapon is.”

“Read the reports, kid. Mordred went through a lot to get the schematics we need.”

That elicited a hesitant response. “Um, I’m not sure how accurate those are. I mean can she still be trusted-”

The green man stopped when a high-pitched beep echoed in both their helmets. The golden man almost smiled when his antennae shifted slightly. “Speak of the devil,” he said smugly to his younger friend, then he held a finger to his helmet’s side. “Nova, here. You have something, Mordred?”

A woman’s voice quivered through the comlink in Nova’s helm. “I-I’m inside. I’ve found the asset. Sending coordinates, now.”

Removing his hand and holding it out, Nova summoned a bright blue, holographic screen. The image showcased a map of the facility, completed with a big red dot that said: “ASSET HERE.” Satisfied, Nova retracted the holomap into his arm. “Looks like she can be trusted,” he spoke with the same smugness to his comrade.

The green faceplate hid the other’s eyebrows mimicking the W-shaped horn on his head. “Okay, okay, you got me there,” he conceded.

With that, green and golden boots ran through the facility. The two pairs of red bug-like eyes went from one doorway to the next, searching for any sign of their target. After several minutes of searching, it was nowhere to be seen. There wasn’t anything or anyone. There was only the constantly clean and quiet halls of the secret base belonging to the organization called Foundation X.

The green one voiced his observation. “Where are the guards? Shouldn’t there be more here?”
Though silent at first, Nova tensed once he passed yet another empty corner. This time, there was a dead-end, with the same giant X plastered on a pair of blackened double doors. “Tell the others to come quickly. We’ll need back up,” Nova ordered.

“On it. We wait until-hey, wait!” his companion said, calling out to Nova rushing at the double doors.

Though the doors were a foot-thick and bolted by several locks, two powered punches tore them off their hinges. Nova stood at his newly-made entrance, his eyes glaring at the unusually darkened chamber in front and not towards his comrade running beside him. “… come on, I know you…” the other man began and stopped when he looked at the room with Nova.

If either had to say anything, they were cut short by a slow clap, clap, and clap from deep inside the room. “Welcome, Kamen Riders, to my humble abode,” announced a voice belonging to neither men in armor. It came from a very unarmored man, whose white suit and smirking pale face made him stand out in the shadows. “Speechless? Now, that is something I never expected. Let alone from you, Cyclone.”

Kamen Rider Nova clenched his fists and did everything he could to not acknowledge the taunt. His companion, the ever-talkative Kamen Rider Cyclone, pointed a green finger at the man in white and proclaimed, “It’s over! Your organization’s done for, Shimamura!”

Shimamura’s smirk widened into a big smile. “It’s not done yet. After all, not everyone is here for the finale, only just us four…”

“Four?” echoed Cyclone.

Nova found the answer falling from above with a glinting blade. “Move!” he shouted, shoving Cyclone and himself aside.

The long white blade of a sword struck the floor and showered the two Riders in its sparks. Both Cyclone and Nova were appalled to find a familiar, feminine figure in white heaving the sword up with red-lined gauntlets gripping the golden handle. Shaking slightly, as if against her own will, she faced the Riders, her white armor spiked on the shoulders and boots.

Of the two, Cyclone uttered in surprise, “Mordred?”

The new Rider’s round helmet silently peered at him and Cyclone, the grilled visor covering the left half of her face. With silence leaving her fanged mouthguard, Shimamura took it upon himself to speak in his mocking tone. “Ah, yes. Such a shame. You can never know whom to trust,” Shimamura chuckled then looked to the Rider in front of him. “Keep them busy.”

Shakingly, Mordred lunged, and the uncovered right half of her face blurred with the green eye and red circuitry. Her sword, straight-edged and gleaming, swung at her ‘old friends.’ Of them, Nova stepped forward, and his gauntlet sparked when it caught the attack.

“Hrgh!” Nova grunted, pushing against the shorter Rider’s strength. “Cyclone, move!”

Cyclone nodded, but Mordred had already kicked Nova back. Then, she swung her sword in the other Rider’s way. “Woah!” Cyclone exclaimed then looked at her. “Mordred, what’s gotten into you?!”

The Rider in question rose her sword. “I-I can’t stop it,” she whimpered through her helmet. Her body shook like it was fighting for control. “Please… help…”

Despite her best efforts, Mordred lunged again. Nova, after dodging another wild swing with Cyclone, spared a red-eyed glance at Shimamura. The pale-faced and pale-clothed man raised his hand to a console rising from the floor, typing away at the controls. Within moments, the console announced, “Countdown in ten seconds…

Nova immediately drew his fists over the red gem in his belt buckle. “Ten,” the console announced, and Nova began to make his call.

“Kingstone-!”

“No!” Cyclone grabbed Nova’s right arm, yanking it to the side. “Yoshi, you can’t do that here!”

“Let go, kid! It’s the only way!” Nova yelled back at Cyclone and over the cry of “Nine.”

The two squabbling Riders split apart in time to avoid a stab of Mordred’s sword. “We don’t have time!” Nova shouted, ignoring the console announcement of “Eight.” “It’s now or never!”

Mordred’s sword put Nova’s plan to a halt as he caught it with both hands. “D-do something!” Mordred cried over the “Seven” from the console.

Cyclone darted his gaze to Shimamura, who awaited the countdown’s completion with a smile. “Well, Rider?” he asked while his console announced “Six.” “What will it be?”

His hands curled into fists, Cyclone went past his fellow Riders-Nova kicking Mordred back. He went straight for Shimamura, hearing only his steps echo with the cry of “Five.”

Cyclone’s boots pounded on the clean floor. Shimamura was only ten feet away, still smiling. Rushing as fast as Cyclone could, that smile closed it at eight feet.

“Four.”

At six feet, Cyclone leaped off the floor. He went into the air, barely avoiding a strike from Mordred. The green Rider went at the man controlling her, now within three feet and closing.

“Three.”

Mere inches apart, Cyclone reached out a hand, ready to grab Shimamura’s shirt and turn his smile upside-down. He was so close.

“Two.”

Yet, his hand touched nothing. It was only an after-image that vanished quickly. “Oof!” left Cyclone as he crashed onto the floor where Shimamura once stood.

“One.”

Lying there, Cyclone eyed the now-glowing console with his fellow Riders. “Oh no,” he whispered.

Then, the console flashed-

“RIDER BLACKOUT, INITIATING.”

-and everything went dark.

Post
#1304134
Topic
Random PT ideas
Time

Hello. Back again with another random PT idea… Well, this is kinda PT idea one. Earlier this year, I had a thought of “what if a prequel was to be made using only SW77?” and that included ideas like Vader and Anakin being two separate people, Luke and Leia are NOT siblings, there is no Yoda, Luke hasn’t lost his hand, Han had money to pay off Jabba, the Force is more low-key in comparison to its depictions in later works (less gigantic, flashy powers-and more subtle), there are no Sith (at least not like the PT or EU), etc.

Anyway, this was a story idea would follow Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker through the final years of the Clone Wars. The threat is the Mandalorians, who are just a race of warring nomads that lost their homeworld centuries ago and travel in a flotilla of ships (think of the Quarians from Mass Effect, only more Spartan-esque). Among their leaders would be a female commander named Avarein who serves as the Vader of this story. She is secretly in cahoots with the man who would become “emperor,” as she wishes to overthrow the Mandalorians’ current leader and completely destroy the Jedi who stand in the way of the Mandalorians ruling the galaxy.

Admittedly, this story is a very weeeeeird look at how a prequel could’ve been done with just SW77. If anything, I’d expect this story to catch someone’s attention for just how different it is from the actual movies.

With that out of the way, let’s begin.


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

KNIGHT OF THE REPUBLIC

Chaos. With their armies of clones, the vicious MANDALORIAN ARMADA sweeps across the galaxy to bring destruction to many worlds. Thousands of Republic citizens run and hide form them, seeking refuge under President Organa.

The only ones fighting this enemy are the brave Jedi Knights, leaving their base to help defend the Republic against this threat. With the help of the Republic’s defenders, the Mandalorians have been pushed back.

Among the many Jedi, General OBI-WAN KENOBI and his pupils lead his forces. They fight in the skies of a strange world, against the great threat to the Republic…

We’d begin over a planet (let’s go with Skye from the SW Marvel comics for now). General Obi-Wan Kenobi and his pupil Darth Vader are barely able to get through the line of clone soldiers bred by the Mandalorian Armada. That is when Anakin Skywalker comes swooping in with a fighter similar to the TIE Fighters. With Anakin’s help, the Republic forces are able to overwhelm the Mandalorians who were trying to strip mine the planet for its resources.

It’s here that we see the clear difference of the Jedi. Unlike their PT counterparts, the Jedi don’t wear robes. The standard uniform is a black garb with some white bits of a pilot suit on top (think of a black and white version of the rebel flightsuit from SW77). Obi-Wan himself wears a cloak over his uniform. This is a far cry from the technological Republic, with President Organa (dressed in fine clothing and robes) praising the general for his efforts in the war via a comm/screen.

With our heroes victorious, they head back to the Jedi homeworld of Transar, which they have used for 1000 generations to train Jedi. Though there is nothing on the surface, Transar’s subterranean tunnels are filled with crystals that the Jedi harvest for their lightsaber. In the tunnels, members of the Jedi Knights are dwindling and the few remaining members praise Obi-Wan and his students for all their successful battles, Anakin receiving more than Vader. While Vader is jealous, he puts it aside thanks to the affection of his fiance, a young woman who is a pilot and is great friends with Anakin (can’t really think of a name now, but I don’t think Padme would be a good name for her).

This is where we go to the Mandalorian fleet. In this version, the Mandalorians are a race of warring nomads that lost their homeworld centuries ago and travel in a flotilla of ships (think of the Quarians from Mass Effect, only more Spartan-esque). Among their leaders would be a female commander named Avarein who serves as the Vader of this story, as she was head of the Mandalorian force that Kenobi and his pupils just defeated. When berated by the other leaders of the Mandalorian Armada, Avarein merely states it was to test Kenobi’s forces, since they had beaten many Mandalorian commanders in the past. Avarein then secretly meets with Palpatine to discuss how to defeat the Jedi, believing them to be the only thing in the way of the war (something which the other Mandalorian leaders don’t seem to fully grasp).

Back on Transar, Obi-Wan secretly talks with the ancient Jedi Masters to test Anakin and see if he can become a Jedi Knight, since Anakin is a more experienced student and has won many battles. Thus, Anakin is summoned to a secret portion of the caverns. There, Anakin comes face-to-face with a gigantic crystal that he has never seen before but he has heard of. To many outsiders, it is called “the Jedi Crystal,” the supposed heart of all crystals on Transar. Flanking the crystal are two cloaked figures, the Jedi Masters themselves who guard the crystal and commune with it from time to time. One master, the tall and hooded Mace, tells Anakin to touch the crystal. Immediately, Anakin sees flashes of a planet being destroyed, bodies of Jedi lying everyone, and a figure standing over them with his face (hinting at what we’re familiar with from the actual PT). Anakin pulls back, frightened, and when he asks what he saw, the other Jedi master, the short and elfish Minch, replies Anakin had seen a potential future and not to tell anyone of what he had seen, even to his teacher. Anakin agrees, albeit hesitantly, and returns back to everyone.

Vader notices Anakin’s return, has his suspicions especially after hearing of Anakin being a Jedi while he is just a pupil, and demands Master Mace of what happened. Mace reprimands the younger Jedi, who apologizes to the Jedi Master who is also his father. Here we see that Vader comes from a long line of Jedi and he wishes to live up to that line but feels that Anakin is outshining him at every turn. Before Vader can object, Obi-Wan steps in and has Vader come with him for a new mission. Said mission is to a Republic world under Palpatine and ensure that it doesn’t fall into enemy hands. This leads to a web of lies as Palpatine talks to Vader about the Jedi training and wondering if he knows of “any alternatives.” Vader let’s slip about the Jedi Crystal, and Palpatine entices Vader with the idea of using the crystal for himself (in an attempt for Palpatine to have the crystal himself).

On Transar, Anakin is trying to be by himself and contemplate his vision when Vader’s fiance goes to him and ask him what is wrong. Anakin says it’s nothing and tries to shake it off with a race using their starfighters. After a fun race, the two talk about their lives before they got involved in the war, Vader’s fiance saying she was drafted and made to survey instead of actually fight (something that Vader thinks she should stick to doing). Anakin encourages her to dream as he himself recalls his time on Tatooine when he stayed with Owen and Beru, including a time before he met Obi-Wan when a strange woman came to his door and told him all the wonders of the galaxy beyond Tatooine.

Back to Avarein, she prepares to attack Palpatine’s homeworld with a strike force and bury Obi-Wan and his pupil. It succeeds, injuring Vader enough that he requires implants to help him. Anakin and Vader’s fiance rushes over, finding Vader very embittered and barely holding on (emotionally speaking) to the point that he lashes his anger out at his fiance. Palpatine, recognizing this, approaches Anakin to praise him of his deeds in battle and of attracting the right attention. When Palpatine hints at a possible attraction to Vader’s fiance, Anakin denies it but he inwardly admits there might be something after he tries to comfort Vader’s fiance, distraught to find Vader so angry and frightening (which is something she had noticed beforehand and feared would happen again).

After hearing what happened, Anakin stomps over to Vader, demanding him to apologize. Vader refuses and constantly taunts Anakin, saying “how you think you’re better than me?”, “you have no right to even touch [insert fiance name],” “she’s mine, not yours,” etc. An angered Anakin punches Vader and he would’ve continued his assault if not remembering his vision. Vader takes advantage of that and uses his anger on Anakin, forcing the Jedi Knight on his knees. However, Vader stops when he realizes his fiance and Obi-Wan were watching the whole thing. Vader is made even angrier when his fiance goes to help Anakin, and things are made worse when Vader is visited by his father, Mace who berates him to falling into anger. Vader scoffs at the idea, saying that his father never really appreciated him and always saying no to everything, even to his betrothal. Mace silently departs, leaving Vader to be disciplined by Obi-Wan.

Everything is cut short by another attack from the Mandalorians. Like the hero he is, Anakin goes up to face the Mandalorians and neutralizes them with help from the Republic troops there as well as Vader’s fiance (whom Anakin has been encouraging to fly with him). Through the battle, Anakin enters the bridge and comes across Avarein who is armored and masked. Avarain stops to note Anakin’s appearance, musing with interest that “the boy from Tatooine has grown up.” Anakin attacks but realizes he’s only seeing Avarein’s hologram and the whole thing was a set up to draw the best of the Jedi away.

At the same time, Avarein raids Transar. The entire underground network of caves and tunnels have been flushed out by Mandalorian troops who shoot and kill any Jedi Knight in the area (and there weren’t many due to the war killing so many). Avarein’s troops approach the Jedi Crystal and are hold back by the Jedi Master Minch, who uses create illusions with the Force to distract the troopers. It is not enough as Avarein steps in and strikes a mortal blow to the Jedi Master using a blade made from the very crystals of fallen Jedi. With all opposition out of the way, Avarein takes the Jedi Crystal back to the Mandalorian Armada.

Knowing what has happened, our heroes prepare for the final battle. An unsure Anakin talks to Obi-Wan, who tells him that “things beyond your power cannot be changed but only you can change yourself” (or something along those lines). With that, Anakin goes to Vader’s fiance who has completely split from Vader, and the two confess their feelings to one another and kiss with Vader watching angrily in the background before he leaves (possibly before anything more happens-I dunno, I’m not sure how to feel about moving forward with this). With ships from President Organa and any remaining Jedi involved (including Mace), Obi-Wan commands the attack on the Mandalorian Armada, with Anakin spearheading the fighters and attack ships.

Though the battle goes well at first, it all goes downhill when the Mandalorians unleash a gigantic (pre-Death Star) laser on the Republic fleet. Many ships are destroyed, and any surviving Jedi can sense the giant Jedi crystal from Transar is being used to power the laser. After Anakin and his fighters draw enough enemy fire away, a small strike team made up of Vader, Mace, and other Jedi sneak aboard the main flagship, where the laser is being kept. The other Jedi are picked off one by one by the ship’s defenses and huge numbers of Mandalorians. All that remains is Vader and his father Mace, who finds Avarein as an obstacle to freeing the Jedi Crystal. Though Mace is powerful with the Force, a slight disruption from a cracked Jedi Crystal (turning from its white color to bloodied red) distracts him enough for Avarein to slay him. Vader is left alone and barely manages hold back Avarein, even with his anger powering him. Anakin, sensing Vader’s struggle, comes to his old friend’s rescue by shooting his way into the flagship and ejecting from his fighter before it crashes.

From there, the final duel happens. Anakin faces off against Avarein. Things are made difficult with Vader consumed by his anger and hatred, slashing at both the Mandalorian commander and his fellow Jedi. Ultimately, Anakin falls into the Force and concentrates, and he is able to disrupt the Jedi Crystal and distract Avarein (just as it did with Mace). With pieces of the Jedi Crystal flying everywhere, Anakin slices at Avarein, unveiling her to be the very woman whom Anakin met all those years ago on Tatooine. A dying Avarein admits defeat and says that there is no escape for any of them, since the Jedi crystal is causing an overflow of power. Anakin manages to put the ship on auto-pilot, but not before a bitter Vader takes of a tiny fragment of the Jedi crystal and leaves Anakin to die. Fortunately, Anakin manages to shoots the rest of the crystal into space and jumps away in time for the exploding crystal to destroy the Mandalorian Armada, keeping it out of the hands of anyone.

With Vader missing, Anakin reunites with Obi-Wan and Vader’s fiance, the former stating that the war is over but everything has gone downhill after it has been revealed that President Organa was forced to resign and Palpatine takes over his position. Anakin states that they all have to hold on to hope, and the trio prepares for the rise of what would be the Empire. Anakin stays with Vader’s now ex-fiance (who hints at being pregnant) for a bit before he departs, but not before leaving his saber behind to find other surviving Jedi.

The epilogue of the story shows Anakin (possibly months later) on another planet. He can’t find any surviving Jedi but immediately finds a cloaked figure. That figure is in mechanical breathing apparatus and unveils a red lightsaber (which is powered by the tiny fragment of the Jedi Crystal). Anakin recognizes the figure as Vader, who demands him to surrender in the name of the ‘emperor.’ Seeing no other choice, Anakin accepts his fate and faces off Vader in one-last duel.

THE END.


And that’s the “Knight of the Republic.” Again, I do think this story is way out there and silly but that is kinda the intent since it is trying to be closer to the original SW77 aesthetic and feel. It certainly ain’t perfect (especially since bits of what I just wrote was more on the fly) and I doubt I’d ever try to write it as an actual story though.

Post
#1303555
Topic
Random non-SW story ideas
Time

Well, here’s another idea. This one was meant to be a fanfiction retelling/consolidation of works done by Leiji Matsumoto, specifically the space operas/sci-fi he’s well-known for. His works include a lot of anime/manga, e.g. Space Pirate Captain Harlock (Albator in French), Galaxy Express 999, and Queen Millennia (or Queen of a Thousand Years, depending on which translation you prefer), that are put together in what is called the “Leijiverse.” The aforementioned examples are well-regarded retro anime (some of which you can find on crunchyroll) from the 70s and 80s and some of my personal favorites, so I thought I would try to put them together like how Marvel put its heroes together in the MCU.

The only problem is that Leiji Matsumoto’s works don’t really have a single continuity between each other (as there have been different retellings of Captain Harlock throughout the years), so it was kind of difficult to make my project in line with the spirit of Matsumoto’s writings. Still, I’d like to share with the summary I had for this project and below that is the unfinished prologue for my Captain Harlock retelling. I hope you like it.

It’s the 30th Century. The machine men of the Promethium Empire are expanding across the universe, seeking to mechanize everything and everyone. Earth is ruled by a puppet government that kneels to the authority of the Promethium Empire.

In this trying time, as people forgo human life for machine bodies and alien powers wage all over the cosmos, many figures and tales have emerged, filling the ears of the weak and desperate: a captain and his crew of space pirates fighting for freedom, a lone queen and her journey across space, and a mysterious beauty who rides the railways of the cosmos.

Welcome to the Leiji-verse.


In all his years of service to the Sol Defense Fleet, Captain Jenkins had not seen much action. He had signed up just hours before the Promethium-Terran War was declared over. There were no glorious last stands or cries of freedom like he had seen early on, just silent acceptance. Jenkins has done the same over the next decade, tiring over inspection after inspection of cargo ships heading for the Sol System. He grew into his role that he had gotten used the boredom.

So imagine his surprise when the klaxons blared loudly for the first time in over ten years.

Alert! Alert! Unidentified object has appeared!” one crewman’s young voice rang through the comms of the Fourth Column.

Taken aback, the captain did not know what to do. He was frozen in place and let the red lights flooded over him and the bridge’s pristine silver floors. The rest of his command crew were at their posts, doing as they trained for several times, taking any readings they can find and giving out commands.

“Unknown object, detected! Frequency, unknown!”

“All hands, man your stations! This is not a drill! I repeat, this is not…”

“I don’t care what those idiots are doing! Get them up here, now!”

“Tracking trajectory of unknown object! Coming in at mark zero-zero-nine…”

“All pilots, report in to your squad leaders!”

“… you serious?! Get someone on those batteries!”

“Captain, your orders?!”

Snapped out of his daze, Jenkins smoothed the creases in his uniform. “I need a report from engineering! I want to know what’s going on!” he ordered the lieutenant who asked, a scrawny man in blue.

The next minute felt like hours before Jenkins got a response, “Captain, we can’t get a visual on object!”

Jenkins frowned. “Ready the thrusters! Get us in closer to that thing!”

“Sir, we can’t-”

“Do as I say!” Jenkins barked at the corporal who spoke up.

The floor shuddered on the captain’s command within minutes. “Approaching the object,” announced the same corporal. “ETA in five minutes.”

Those five minutes felt like an eternity. Already, Jenkins heard hushed whispers of concern from his crew. He would have told them to shut up if he wasn’t so unsettled and trying to figure out the reason behind it.

Post
#1303372
Topic
Rewriting the SW Sequels to fit the EU
Time

DuracellEnergizer said:

The NJO/Legacy-era EU is anathema to me, and I really wouldn’t want to deal with that baggage. I’d prefer to write a trilogy blending elements from the Thrawn, Dark Empire, & Jedi Academy trilogies, but that would be modifying the EU, not fitting with it.

I feel you. While I haven’t read the NJO books and do think the Vong would’ve been an interesting antagonist conceptually, I have no inclination to read them after hearing how they portrayed the OT cast and their children (and especially how they did that in LotF and FotJ books that I did read). Ironically, that and more are the same reasons why I don’t like the actual SW sequels and why I’ve been trying to write my current TFA Rewrite (which you can find on wattpad as “Star Wars: Birthright (A TFA Rewrite)”) closer to the Bantam books.

Post
#1303322
Topic
Rewriting the SW Sequels to fit the EU
Time

Okay, this was something I had in the back of my mind for some time. We all know the EU was made no longer canon and a new canon was made for other stories (not in line with the old EU) to be made. I had been thinking “What if the SW sequels had been written so they can fit in the old SW EU?” Definitely no easy feat, especially when I’m remembered of the utter annoyance that is the “Star Wars: Legacy” comics that takes place 137 ABY and has destroyed the Jedi Order (again) to set up a tyrannical empire (again) for a Skywalker to take down (a-freaking-gain). Still, I would like to at least play with this idea.

First off, changes. The overall plots of Episodes 7-9 will have some tweaks here or there, and major changes will be kept to a minimum as much as possible (this is to see if the Sequel trilogy still could’ve worked in the EU if circumstances were different). My plan is for most of the changes be done to the characters and the setting to fit the EU.

Setting: The trilogy would take place circa 50 ABY. This is 25 years after the infamous New Jedi Order books (that killed off Chewie and Han’s son Anakin Solo in the invasion of the extra-galactic Vong), almost 10 years after the Legacy of the Force books (which killed off Mara Jade and had Han and Leia’s son - Jacen, not Ben - repeat Anakin Skywalker’s fall only to be killed by his sister), and 6 years after Fate of the Jedi (that had some “Lost Tribe of the Sith” and the SW version of Aku from Samurai Jack). As a result, the Galactic Alliance (the successor of the New Republic) rules over a galaxy that is slowly healing. The Fel Empire (the successor of the old Empire, except less racist and less Dark Side) is slowly gaining influence under Jagged Fel and his wife Jaina Solo-Fel (aka Han and Leia’s daughter, who is also making her own ‘Jedi Knights’ that would eventually become the Imperial Knights). Luke Skywalker has gone in hiding while his Jedi Knights try to maintain peace in a galaxy that kinda-sorta mistrusts them.

Characters: Rey, a human scavenging girl from Jakku, is now Rayn, a scavenger on Raxus Prime to keep to herself and hide the fact that she is Vong. Finn, a deserter of the First Order, is a soldier of the Galactic Alliance who is working with a split group of a few (fallen) Jedi who have seeped their influence into both the Alliance and the Empire. The two characters come together when an Imperial probe droid, carrying information of the corruption in the Galactic Alliance. With the droid, our heroes have to join together to escape the planet of Raxus Prime.

That’s all I have for now. What do you think? Does it have some merit or should this be trashed? And if you want to, how would you try to rewrite the SW Sequels for the EU?

Post
#1302499
Topic
Random non-SW story ideas
Time

Hello. This idea is just a tiny preview (more like a rough draft, though) of an original series called Sekai Knight Chronicles, which takes more inspiration from recent anime tropes. I hope you like it.


The giant shadow of the world ring stretched from one horizon to the other, cutting the small town of Nunkas and surrounding forest in half. The midday sun shone on the other half and revealed the black-clad men in the small main street. Armed and dangerous, they glared at the equally ferocious gang in white, who popped in the shady side of the street.

“Well, isn’t this a nice setup?” commented the young man watching from the sidelines.

A breeze blew his cloak aside, and he glanced down at the little girl by his feet. She might have been no more than six or seven years old. The splotches of dirt didn’t hide her dull gaze, like she was used to seeing fights like these. Not to mention, she was the only other person outside. Everyone else hid in their houses, the windows and entrances boarded up by large planks.

The emotionless look on a girl so young was enough for the stranger to sigh and tug on a golden bang. “I guess you’ve seen this a lot, huh?” he asked, but the girl kept staring forward, ignorant of what he had said.

She noticed when the man gently tapped her shoulder. “Hey, do you want a better view?” he smiled under his hood, extending his hand. “I think I know a good spot.”

The girl’s blank stare went to the gray glove then the stranger then back at the glove. Slowly, she placed her hand in it.

And the stranger quickly tugged her onto the open street, where the two sides began to rush at each other with chipped blades and broken sticks. “Excuse us!” he called to the gangs.

Men and women in black and white screeched their charges, kicking up sand while shouting “Woah,” “What the-,” “Who in the-,” and so on. The ten paces between the gangs gave enough room for the stranger to walk along the shadowy divide, a shoulder facing either side. “Pardon. Sorry. Don’t worry, you’ll get back to fighting soon,” he said, dragging the little girl behind him.

Angry glares went blank at the figure intruding on their “battleground,” and a few barely caught the silver glint under the guy’s cloak. Members of the black and white-clad gangs looked at each other, muttering as low as they, which was still loud enough for the stranger to hear.

“Who’s he?”

“Dunno. I think I’ve seen 'im somewhere before.”

“Why’s he taking her?”

“Who cares!? Now, we gotta go back and start over 'gain!”

“Better than bein’ close to you.”

“Bite me!”

The stranger smirked to himself, seeing the two gangs return to their original spots. It would only take a little more time until it all unfold… but that didn’t mean he could have fun watching it.

Looking ahead, the stranger found himself on the other end of the street. There, a tall tower made of four beams and wooden planks. It was old, but sturdy enough, which the stranger proved by putting his boot on the tower’s ladder. “Hmm,” he said then looked to the girl. “Alright, now why don’t you get on my back, and I’ll-hey!”

The tiny girl had cut the stranger off, skirting under and out his cloak for the ladder. “… huh,” said stranger remarked, while the girl climbed up the ladder.

Soon, the planks squeaked loudly under the stranger’s weight. The ladder made so much noise that the stranger wondered how it didn’t bother the girl above him. The entire skeletal frame shook a little from the girl sitting atop it. She had no trouble, no doubt since she most likely climbed up the tower before. It was the stranger’s first time.

It showed as the flat top wobbled under his weight, a pair of boots dangling the edge and a grin under his hood. “Well, this is a much better, isn’t it?” the stranger asked the girl.

The girl didn’t answer. Below, the shadow of the world ring shifted slightly. It uncovered another couple houses, a few from the town’s two rickety rows of homes. It was the only sign the group in white had to find their original spot, just as the group in black found theirs easily. Maybe they had been in several skirmishes before. Never like this, though. Nothing so serious.

Staring at either side in the upcoming battle, the stranger asked, “So, who do you think will win? I’d say the guys in white. They have a good number of men. Plus, they seem more… thorough than their compadres.” His shaded eyes turned to his fellow spectator. “But I guess you would know better.”

Again, the girl didn’t answer. Her tiny hands held onto a protruded beam, propping herself on legs just as small. Her hair, dark from the same dirt covering her ragged dress, fell over her dull gaze. The stranger did catch the slight interest in what was happening below. Clearly, something like an all-out brawl never happened in Nunkas.

And that hadn’t happened yet. The gangs only threw insults, not weapons. Typical protocol for a small-time civil war, the stranger guessed.

It would be a while before any blood was split, so he tapped his fellow spectator’s shoulder. “Hey, you want to know a secret?” the stranger whispered. Raised a gauntlet hand, he held his index finger and thumb a centimeter apart. “I might be a teeny, tiny bit responsible for all of this.”

The girl slightly tilted her round head to the side, indicating confusion. The stranger pointed a finger down, beginning his tale. “You see, I happened to hear about these guys from a couple villages back, how they’re causing problems for everyone else. So I thought I’d stop by, and good thing I did. It really looks like you have a problem here too…”

His lips closed in time to see two figures stepped onto the street. With the silky, black robe on the woman and the man’s neatly-pressed, white uniform, they showed themselves as the gang leaders. They stood across from each other, glaring venomously and began talking in commanding tones.

“First, I talked with some of the folks here,” the stranger continued. “Can’t say they’re nice or naughty, but they told me about your problem: two warring gangs joined together in an alliance. Not exactly good to have if everyone else is so scared.”

On the street, the gang members rumbled. Their leaders’ fine talk rose, each going one after the other in an argument. It was a nice segway for the stranger.

“I managed to chat up some henchmen. They can say what you want if you ask the right way. And they gave me clues to the alliance… Two keys, a gift for an upcoming wedding.”

The roars below became mixed, incoherent. The leaders were a married couple in the worst of quarrels. Their pale faces went red, and grey flashed from the crooked daggers in their hands. Above, the stranger reached into his cloak.

“It helped that they cut loose the other night…” In a flash, the stranger twirled two pairs of golden keys around his armored finger. “… and while they were partying, I took these little guys!”

The girl’s eyes changed at last. They widened in surprise, their dullness glowing in the keys’ shine. Everything else went ignored, even the stranger’s grin.

“Hah! Now, those guys will never figure out I duped them both! Two birds, one stone!” he laughed out loud, so sure of himself.

A little too sure that he never noticed something was missing from his finger, and his eyes blinked when he did.

“Huh? Where are the keys?”

The stranger found his answer dangling off the tower’s edge and in the girl’s small hand. Behind the long, dirtied locks, she called out in intelligible screeches, ignorant of the stranger reaching for the key. “Hey, give those back!” he said.

The girl had already thrown the keys. They soared, rising shortly in an arch. With partly-hidden shock, the stranger could only watch the keys fall right onto the street. They bounced off the lit side and landed in the shade. Even then, they gleamed in the dim sunlight.

Right between the gangs for all eyes to see.

His plans thwarted, the stranger whirled to the girl. “Are you insane?!” he cried loudly to the girl, who didn’t register the words.
She, and the stranger, did register the people below. Walking from either side of the keys, the gangs turned. Their eyes, and the eyes of the men and women, had gone from shock to sheer rage. The stranger’s own eyes looked down at the glares approaching on a unified front. It only took one shout from the leaders-

“BRING IT DOWN!”

-and the tower shook. It was a violent shake, caused by men and women hacking at the thin beams with axes and their own weight. The two sides ganging up on the tower worked. “Woah!” yelped the stranger after almost sliding off the tower’s top.

At the second shake, he did slide off, just after the girl. One hand caught the girl by the wrist, and the other grabbed onto another protruding beam. His cloak dangled, and his armored arms were pulled in two different directions while he dangled off the top of the tower and held onto the girl.
“This is what I get for helping!” the stranger grimaced.

The third shake was followed by slow cricks and cracks. Then, one beam bent inward of the tower. Hopefully, it wouldn’t-

At last, the wood snapped, splinters shooting out. Then, the tower tilted-

“Ah, cr-”

-and it fell.

The following cry was drowned by the tower falling onto the town’s shaded side. By its extraordinary length, the tower’s tip would extend past the town’s paper-thin walls. And it did, as the tower’s long frame went CRASH on a slanted roof.

A cloud of wood dust and wood chips went up in the air, but by then, the stranger had already slipped off the tower’s edge and fell onto the trees. His back ungracefully broke the twigs and leaves that caught him, but the branches firmly held up his weight. “Ugh…” he groaned, blinked his eyes, and snapped them open in concern for another. “Where’s…?”

Beside him, the girl’s head rustled and popped out of the branches. She coughed a little, spewing a bit of wood dust. The stranger pursed his lips and sneered in a mocking tone, “Not so good helping out the bad guys now, huh?”

Another cough answered him, followed by a distant murmur of voices. “Wooh, that’s probably my cue!” the stranger said, reminded of the danger inside the village as he began shifting-well, trying to shift-his weight around. “Just gotta, get-!”

The branch cracked, and down the stranger went. A short drop, he bent his knees, rolled, and popped his rear on the ground with an “oof!” sound. His lips curled into a frown, and his eyes shot up to the little girl staring back down from her haven in the tree. “Thanks a lot, kid! Real helpful!” the stranger barked, hoping the sarcasm would get to her.

It didn’t, and at the sound of nearing voices, the girl’s blank stare followed his every movement while he rushed into the woods.

Post
#1301599
Topic
Random non-SW story ideas
Time

Back again, and with another story idea. This is a little fanfiction of Dreamwork’s Voltron: Legendary Defender (VLD), called “Voltron: Reflections.” This based on the alternate universe shown in season 3 of VLD, and I thought it would be nice to try and explore it a little. This isn’t much but I hope you still like it. Take care.


The ground shook yet again from a dying wail, a sound that began many years ago when the Alteans took the last of the energy crystals from the Balmera’s surface. The wail carried on into the present, covered every square of rocky desert, every canyon ever made and every cave and hole dug into the planet. Inside one such cave, Shay, the last thing on Balmera X-95-Vox, felt it all while trying to get some sleep.

Lying on the cave floor in her tattered cloak, Shay clasped her large, rocky hands over her large ears. Each of her four-fingers closed shut to hide out of the wail. She couldn’t hide from it, though. Her seismic sense, once a gift of her people, cursed her to feel the pain of the creature that resided in her planet and gave birth to the energy crystals. The same crystals that powered great warships and weapons. It was the reason why many came to the world.

That had been before the Alteans began their rule. They were among the many who sought after the crystals of the Balmera. Then, they came to the planet centuries, claiming themselves as “the sole protector of the Balmera.” The stories said that had been the first sign of many problems to come. The next sign was the Alteans taking more crystals than usual, the beginning of a long process of taking with nothing in return.

That process ended many years ago. It was a memory Shay recalled every time the Balmera of her world screamed in pain. It was one that never ended, never faded from her mind-

White claws of Altean machines dug into the ground, and the Balmera screamed while rocks and ash fell on its people. Among those, a little Shay stood petrified in caverns’ streets. She could only look up at the devastation before two shadows grabbed her. She was taken aback before she relaxed a bit to find her parents.

“Mother! Father!” little Shay tried to say over the devastation.

Her mother said something back. Shay couldn’t hear her, but she guessed it well enough: “Stay close with Rax!”

Shay glanced around. There was no sign. “I can’t find him!” she told her mother, even if everything was falling apart.

Speaking of which, the walls and floors cracked like a great wound. For the briefest moment, Shay heard her father shout, “Shay, get out of here! Get to the surface!”

With a push from her father, Shay ran. She ran as fast as she could, from the machines and destruction through the screaming and her friends. She couldn’t look back. Shay couldn’t bare another second to waste, so she could get away with her family.

Wait. Where were her parents?

Stopping at a nearby cavern exit, Shay looked. Her eyes wide, she saw the last of the Alteans’ machines retreat from the caverns, carrying the tiny glimmers of what looked like crystals of the Balmera. With the Alteans’ retreat, however, the unstable cavern began to split and fall in on itself. In the height of cries from the innocent, Shay’s parents joined in.

“Mother! Father!” Shay screamed before the cavern wall fell on her parents and everyone-

A loud roar woke Shay into complete consciousness. This sound was unlike anything she had heard before. This was not the Balmera’s cries. This wasn’t a regular ship, either. Curious, Shay took a look out her cave and gasped.

A dark streak spread across the acid skies as something red fell to the planet. Right in front of her cave.

Shay heard the Balmera cry again, but this time was more from shock than the familiar pain it should’ve been used to now. Taken aback herself, Shay gathered her tattered cloak around her. Then, she stepped out of the cave for the first time in several years.

The dust around whatever crashed rose over it, blocking Shay from seeing the true form. There was a glimmer of red, however, along with a loud purr. Shay had no time to wonder about the sound, not when she saw someone stepping through the smoke.

Said someone, clad in a white spacesuit, approached. He staggered towards Shay, as if in a daze. A confused Shay stared at the figure in confusion and spoke with a voice she barely used. “Um, hello?”

“Oh! Hello there!” the figure greeted back, while he took off his helmet. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing here!”

Shay learned to mind, especially when she saw pointed ears and special marking on the stranger’s aged skin. An Altean.

Shay clenched her hands into fists and held them up. “Stay back!” she yelled.

The Altean stopped, blinking his ancient eyes in confusion. Then, he blinked again in understanding. “Ah, yes! I forgot how much time has passed. Time by the black hole really kept me well-preserved… well, almost well-preserved,” the Altean rambled then paused to look at his surroundings, “and I see this place has changed much.”

“If you’re looking for something, then you’d be disappointed,” Shay proclaimed, waving a hand to her desolate home. “As you can see, your people already took everything!”

The Altean’s smile turned into a frown while he looked around. Was that regret? “Yes… so I have heard. I never expected such a thing would happen…” he said almost wistfully.

Shay almost let down her guard. Almost. Wasting no more time, she charged at this Altean, ready to put him down and return what his people had done to hers. And this was an old man. Surely, it wouldn’t be too hard to put him in his place.

The minute Shay threw a punch, she learned otherwise. The Altean, with hair as white as his spacesuit and covered in wrinkles, caught her punch and flipped her. “Oof!” Shay cried, having fallen on her back.

“That’s a reckless move,” said the Altean standing over Shay and shaking his head. “Best not to move without thinking first. Having heart is good though, and you do have that.”

“Ugh…” Shay groaned and tried to get back up.

The old Altean held her down with his boot. “Careful,” he chided, almost playfully, “attack me again, and it might be your last move.”

Shay gritted her teeth. “That does not matter to me! As long I can stop you and your kind, I’ll do everything I can!”

The old one tilted his head to one side. “Oh. And why is that?” he asked in genuine curiosity. There was no response, so he continued, “You believe I’m here to steal Balmera crystals, aren’t you? If I was, what makes you think you can stop me?”

“I don’t!” Shay growled.

“So why try?”

Memories flashed before Shay’s eyes. She saw her people and planet’s suffering. All those years alone. Every image gave birth to a fire that rose with every word she spoke. “When I was a child, I had lost everything when your people came. My home. My parents. My people… My brother… ” Shay swallowed the tiny crack in her voice and glared at the Altean above her. “It has been so long that I can barely remember their faces. I was weak then… but this time, I’m not, and I won’t let that happen ever again. You won’t harm this planet again!”

To Shay’s surprise, the old Altean removed his boot with a smile. “Good,” he said, holding out his hand. “What’s your name?”

Shay glanced at the hand extended to her. Was this a trick? It didn’t feel like one. Alteans had only stole from her. This one didn’t. That had to mean something, right?

At last, she accepted the hand and answered, “My name is Shay.”

The Altean pulling her up smiled kindly. “Well, hello Shay. My name’s Alfor. I know we’ve just met, but I need to ask a favor of you…"

Shay gasped again. The dust had finally cleared and the large head of a red mechanical lion popped through. In her shock, Shay looked back to Alfor, finding a smile on the old Altean’s face as he gave his request:

“… do you mind taking care of my lion for me?”

Post
#1300642
Topic
SW: Beyond Trilogy (Episodes X, XI, and XII) - CANCELLED
Time

dgraham414 said:

Any plans for ST hero’s tomorrow show up? Seeing as they’d just be 20 years older

Eh, probably not. As much as I might have connected with them in TFA (which is only a little if I’m being honest), I lost interest completely after TLJ repeated their arcs and even hurt their potential in my eyes (I’m sorry if you like TLJ, but that’s how I feel about it). More than likely, I’ll sideline the sequel trilogy’s hereos and/or extend my Beyond Trilogy’s time to 75 ABY or past that so those characters can be old or dead (having passed on in their sleep or something) since they would be over 65.

Post
#1299921
Topic
Random non-SW story ideas
Time

Here I am again, with another story idea. This is an original story called Nexus High, whichi s more inspired by high school anime and whatnot. I only every got to writing the prologue, but I hope you like it. Enjoy!


Vice-Headmaster Renana took a careful, long look at the file in front of her. It was so hard to believe that it was genuine and not some cruel prank. The fact that it was real made her blink her crimson eyes over and over and over again at the bold letters across the top of the paper she held: APPLICATION FOR POSITION OF TEACHER.

Again, Renana blinked. Applying as a teacher? Here, of all places? Sure, there were worse schools, but there were also far better ones in the Nexus. Students came from all over the Multiverse, from parallel worlds to pockets dimensions, looking for a good school. It was rare to find an exceptionally good student, let alone a someone willing enough to teach said student.

Still, she could not pass up an opportunity like this. Headmaster Batta had been pestering her for weeks, and now there was someone who was far more than capable for the job. It was like a miracle… or a curse, depending on how you looked at it.

Left hand still on the paper, Renana reached for the phone. Her right hand grabbed the receiver while the other right spun the dial. The phone rang into her pointed ear, and Renana tapped her three free hands, one right and two left, on the mahogany wood of her desk. She hoped he would pick up. Interdimensional phone lines were expensive, and she did not want to add to the school’s enormous bill with multiple calls.

At last, there was a slight jittery sound, and Renana quickly responded to it with restrained excitement. “Hello, Mr. Urakami? This is Vice-Headmaster Renana Lakshmi of Nexus High… Yes, this is about your recent application to our school… Oh no, it’s nothing like that… Your resume is very impressive… Well, Mr. Urakami, to put it simply: you have the job and-”

Renana pulled the screeching phone away from ear. When the horrible sound faded away, she put the phone back and continued, “Um, yes… you’ve stood out from the competition, as it were…” Renana’s eyes widened slightly when she heard the question. “… How many applied? Um, about one… yes, including yourself, Mr. Urakami, but I assure you, there’s no need to worry…”

Again, she stopped, and her eyes widened, but this time, it was with interest. She leaned back in her chair and commented, “… Oh really… Is that so? You’re ‘looking forward it’… ‘A great experience’… I see…”

Poor man. He has no idea what he’s getting himself into,’ Renana thought sadly as she listened intently to the voice on the other side.

Another question blipped Renana out of her thoughts. “When can you start?” she repeated, and her second left hand quickly flipped through her calendar. “Monday, the fifteenth. Just a couple weeks from now… You can come in earlier if you want. Just to get a feel for the school… Yes, well, I can assure, Mr. Urakami, your time here will be quite diverse.”

Before she hung up, Renana added with a coy smile on her blue lips, “And Mr. Urakami… welcome to Nexus High.”

Post
#1298975
Topic
Random non-SW story ideas
Time

Welp, here I am. Back with another silly idea I’ve been having for sometime. This time, it is a short preview of an “original work” called After Arthur: A King Forevermore. This is meant to follow the aftermath of well-known lore of the legendary King Arthur, starting up right after he fell in the infamous Battle of Camlann. It’s not much, but I do hope you enjoy it. Take care.


In a field of black, fire roared as the flag of the red dragon burned.

“What is this?”

Atop a hill of corpses, a father speared his son, and a son stabbed his father back.

“What is going on?”

The two men fell, and another voice whispered over their screams.

“Find him.”

“‘Find him?’ Who are you-?”

The fire died, and the flag of the red dragon, the flag of Camelot, fell. Knocked down by the many men in white and black. They clashed, their swords singing death.

All had been unrecognizable, except for one: a boy in brown, running in between enemy soldiers.

“No! Get out of there! Get out!”

The boy only heard his own screams as a black knight fell atop him-

“MORY!" Marian screamed, her eyes snapping widen open.

Awake at last, Marian breathed and scanned her surroundings. She wasn’t in a terrible battlefield of death. She had been in her bed, staring up at the stone ceiling of her chamber. It took her several moments to realize that and her sweaty face.

Having come to her senses, Marian sat up. To the side, a breeze intruded through her open window, the stone frame wet with rainwater. It cooled the perspiration to her brow and entered into her panting lungs. With it came a calm wave that slowed Marian’s thumping heart.

Then, the cool air grew bitter cold. Marian pulled her blanket until it hugged her back, adding more white to her nightgown. Her eyes trailed down in thoughts surrounding that dream. It was so real, so vivid…

Marian pulled the blanket closer to her. “It was a dream. Just a dream,” she told herself. Yes, that was all it was. Another dream.

Another nightmare.

Post
#1297614
Topic
Random non-SW story ideas
Time

Hey guys! For my first entry, this is fanfiction sequel of Nickelodean’s Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra (a preview of one anyway). This was an idea I started out back in 2017 and had been working on and off. With that out of the way, here’s the opening to Avatar: Tales of Mushi. Enjoy!


Fire…

A burning fist struck through the shadows, lighting the darkness with red flames.

Air…

Leaves floated on wisp of a silvery breeze and danced around nimble legs of the one directing it.

Water…

Blue waves flooded the floor, then rose and fell upon their caster in the form of several thousand raindrops.

Earth…

At the beck of slender hands, several green and brown pillars erupted from the ground into the sky.
The pillars did not stop. They went higher and higher, until they finally stopped and their tips had transformed into an army of statues.

For many years, I have heard tales about the Avatar, master of all four elements. I have heard how each one would be born and bring peace to the world…

The statues, avatars of centuries past, stood side by side, each representing the Fire Nation, Air Nomads, Water Tribes, and Earth Kingdoms. And one by one, the avatars’ eyes glowed until they were an army of lights. Yet, the two casted a larger shadow over them all.

Out of the many avatars, I haven’t heard more than Avatar Aang, who ended the Hundred-Year War, and his successor, Avatar Korra who helped to bring the Spirit World and mortal realm together…

The calm and joyous Aang stood side by side with the powerful and fierce Korra, both watching over the bay of Republic City. Their eyes glowed with the ethereal power of previous Avatars and the Avatar Spirit within them.

But Aang passed long ago… And Korra has joined him…

The light from Avatar Aang’s statue faded, followed by his successor’s.

Korra’s, however, was unexpected. Sudden… and the whole world was left to wonder why.

Tiny white specks, remnants of the avatar’s white light, sparkled as they left Korra’s eyes and disappeared into the darkening sky above. A sky that now hovered above cities and lands filled with the confused and uncertain people of the Four Nations.

And so, like with Avatar Aang, there was no sign of the new avatar. There have been rumors, though. Sightings of a stranger wandering from place to place.

Amongst the whispering crowds of merchants, workers, soldiers, and even Spirits, a lone figure in a coat and hood strolled down, alone and aimless.

I will search for this stranger. I will see if what they say is true. If it is, if this is the avatar, then perhaps I can find what I’ve been looking for so long…

Under the shadow of the lonesome being’s hood, a pair of eyes glowed bright white…

AVATAR

TALES OF MUSHI


BOOK 1: VOID

Chapter 1: Powerless

196 AG…

The early morning sun fell on Kyoshi Island and the statue of its namesake as it had for centuries. The natives didn’t notice the sun or the statue they passed by, their focus on the time on their pocket or wrist watches. The young man by the statue’s base, on the other hand, hadn’t paid attention to how much time had passed. He didn’t really pay attention to anything.

He sat on the grass, hands resting in his lap. He pushed aside the itchy feeling on his legs, along with the buzz of a Satomobile engine and the soft wind breezing by. He focused on his breathing, on his state of mind, and on his inner self. As he was taught, he kept his aim on being calm like water.

Sadly, he was anything but calm. There was the slight irritation, the tiniest irksome that stopped him from reaching his goal. And that irksome thing was only he could see:

She stood in the empty ocean, her dark hair blowing in the wind…

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the image. He remembered what his mentor had taught him. He tried to focus on something, anything to keep the woman away. His efforts were rewarded with something else:

… her Water Tribe outfit, once newly made, was torn in several places…

A frown cracked his calm facade. He was not supposed to be seeing that. Not again. “Come on…” he whispered, hoping to be free of the image. His hopes were rewarded with the opposite:

… and though her back faced him, she slowly turned with that expressionless face and those dead eyes…

At last, he opened his eyes and slumped his shoulders in defeat. “Ugh, I not again,” he murmured to himself. After running a hand through his dark short hair, his gray gaze slanted up at the statue of Avatar Kyoshi. “There has be to another way to doing this.”

The statue didn’t answer him, but someone else did. “Meditating again, Mushi?” said the man whose brown head of hair suddenly loomed over.

A startled Mushi jumped, placed a hand on his thumping chest, and whirled to the stranger. “Sifu Niko, don’t do that!” he exclaimed.

Keeping his back in a hunched position, Niko shook his head and laughed. “I don’t think I had any other choice. You were doing it again…” he told his old student. “… I swear, you are too tense sometimes.”

“I’m not tense!” Mushi snapped up.

Holding his hands behind his back, Niko frowned down. “Don’t start with me, Mushi,” he said. “You’ve been at this statue all morning. I don’t know what has gotten through your head but stressing over it will do you no good. You need to relax.”

“I told you, I’m not-”

Mushi’s stopped as something jabbed at the back of his neck. The joints in went crick-crack, and the shoulders spasmed from the built-up tension now trailing down Mushi’s spine. All of it happened so sudden that he never noticed his own lanky body shaking like a leaf on in the middle of autumn.
Once the feeling faded, a far more relaxed Mushi turned to a smirking Niko. “Well?” the older man asked as his hand returned to behind his back.

Mushi sighed and uncrossed his legs. “Okay, you win,” he grumbled and grabbed his coat lying beside him.

The younger man didn’t complain as Niko led him away from the statue and into the paved street. As annoying as the older man could be, Mushi found Niko to be endearing. Niko had taken personal interests in all his guests. It wasn’t hard, seeing how Kyoshi Island kept a population less than two thousand. When he arrived a few months ago, the atmosphere took Mushi by surprise with the fewer Satomobile, one or two telephone lines, and the additional rows of modern buildings to the centuries-old wooden houses.

Niko, the governor of it all, stopped to let a new Satomobile pass by him. “Close one,” he breathed in relief. Eyes glaring after the vehicle, he went on and mumbled, “I swear, I need to set up new laws. I can’t have these junkies drive wherever they want.”

“Maybe you need a new road,” Mushi suggested offhandedly. “I think that’s one way to help deal with traffic.”

“We have one road already. No need to make another one!” Niko huffed then changed the subject. “So, do you wish to tell me why you’re at the statue instead of being with your friends?”

At that, Niko turned to a quiet Mushi with a flourish of his long green jacket. His patient stare was the opposite of Mushi’s pursed lips. “I don’t think that’s a big deal. You always said I need to focus more, so I just thought I’d try some techniques you gave me.”

Now, it was Niko’s turn to frown. “I know you wish to work hard. You have shown that over the past few months, but today is your last day here, Mushi. You should be with the other students, laughing with them. You may not have the chance to ever see them again.”

Mushi shouldered his coat in uncertainty. Admittedly, he hadn’t been very sociable with the others. That was obvious as those students, dressed in the same forest green gi as Mushi’s, rush past their mentor. “Maybe…” Mushi said, eying his fellow students, “but I’m not sure if they’ll ever miss me.”

“They will,” Niko assured. “You just need to give them a chance to know you first.”

“I…”

If Mushi had anything to say, he stopped it and drifted his eyes to the side then up. On the cliff above stood a girl with soft brown hair tied into a bun. Mushi had seen her over the past few days, always at a passing glance. Then, and now, he watched saw the girl take a typical Earthbending stance, right arm up and right leg forward to raise a boulder from the cliffside itself.

“Mushi? Mushi…?” Niko had said to the side, but Mushi was too busy with the spectacle to listen.

Swerving to the side, the boulder levitated a foot into the air before splitting into two tinier halves that orbited each other. There had been the “oohs” and “aahs” of the spectators–all of them nonbenders who had been part of Mushi’s class. Mushi was more interested in the Earthbending girl. Her form was near perfect, her expression the epitome of calm he wanted. The girl herself could’ve been from another part of the Earth Confederation-maybe Zaofu. Her outfit was a mix of green and blues, so it wasn’t easy to tell.

“You know, you could go always talk to her,” Niko whispered to him, rather cheekily.

Reality fell back on Mushi and his hopes, pushing down his lips into a frown. “Thanks for the advice, but I don’t think I have the time now. I have to get going.”

“Always the spoilsport. I swear, you’re like my wife sometimes.” Niko sighed. He paused, as if remembering something important. “Oh, one more thing. I have a gift.”

Niko reached into his jacket, and Mushi froze at the present held out to him. It was a tiny statue, no bigger than Niko’s palm. The piece of wood had been finely sculpted and chiseled into a woman. With that strong physique and shoulder-length hair, she held a posture that proclaimed strength and confidence. Those things alone Niko perhaps hoped to encourage Mushi.

Mushi, holding back a frown, hesitantly reached out to touch it. “It’s…” he said, swallowed, then finished, “… it’s well-made, sifu.”

“Good. I spent hours working on it. I think it’s something that may help you on your way back home,” Niko smiled and pushed the token into Mushi’s hand. “Please take it.”

“I’m not sure, sifu,“ Mushi said and tried to push the token back.

Niko pushed the token back. “I insist. Please.”

“Sifu, I can’t–“

“If you don’t take it, I’m going to give it to that girl over there and say how my ungrateful student didn’t want it,“ Niko said with that oh-so innocent smile of his.

The mental manipulation pulled down at Mushi’s lips. It took everything he had to not frown as he at last accepted Niko’s gift. The governor, unaware of Mushi’s inner conflict, smiled and said, “Be safe on your journey. May Avatar Korra’s spirit guide you.”

Mushi unknowingly tightened his grip around the token. “Thank you, sifu,” he forced a smile and pocketed it.

Mushi let that smile disappear once he turned and put on his long coat. He didn’t want his mentor to see it and ask what was wrong. There was no need for that. After all, he had to get going.

Post
#1296947
Topic
SW: Birthright (A TFA Rewrite)
Time

Hello everyone. I know haven’t uploaded anything in this thread for a long time, but I do have news. I have managed to finish the first act of the story, and I’ve begin putting it on my Wattpad (link below). For now, only the prologue is up, but a new chapter will be uploaded every other Thursday, so expect chapter 1 on 9/26. Take care!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/118927520-star-wars-birthright-a-tfa-rewrite