Vultural

Orange - 2015 - 6/10
AKA - Orenji // オレンジ

Adolescent fairy tale, told to maximize emotional impact.
Walking to school, Naho finds in her purse a letter from her future self.
Ten years older, suffering regrets.
Her letter tells her things that are going to happen, things she must try to prevent.
Inside the classroom, the new transfer student is introduced, and as the letter predicts, events begin to unroll.
A story of desperately trying to avoid Fate, or to swerve the path, and the ramifications.
School is idealized, with little drama and resentment.
The concept of a clutch of honest friends supporting each other is rare, though I did witness such on occasion.

High Tension - 2003 - 5/10
AKA - Haute Tension

Slasher film of two females who visit one of their parents in remote farmland France.
Access is through dirt road and seemingly endless cornfield.
They arrive late at night, say hello, then everyone goes to sleep.
No one hears the rusted work van arrive, nor hear the heavyset man approach the house.
The intruder’s motivations are vague, though a reason teases out midway.
Film suffers structural problems as it is carnage heavy in the beginning, then plods for forty minutes.
There is an unexpected and terrific “turn” near the end.
Unfortunately, I started applying logic at that point and the whole film collapsed for me.

Yummy - 2019 - 6/10

Alison has found a budget hospital for her procedure.
In a decision that will horrify the casual fratboy, she opts for breast reduction, from F to B.
She fails to consider, when you go budget, you get what you pay for.

“You think, maybe, we can get out of here?”
Medical experiments gone awry soon lead to corridors packed with ravening corpses.
The kind that chomp down and spread the infection.
Splatter horror, spliced with twisted, laugh out loud moments.

The Nest Of The Cuckoo Birds - 1965 - 5/10

Agent Johnson is assigned to infiltrate a vicious gang in the Everglades.
So much for that. Next scene, he is fleeing for his precious life.
Hounds, criminals and shotguns in hot pursuit, Johnson weaves through alligators and cottonmouths, before finding refuge at the Cuckoo Bird Inn.

The owner, Mrs. Pratt, is an ex-showgirl and a crazed religious zealot. Handyman Alfred wants Johnson outta there.
Then there’s an insane daughter, locked upstairs and chained to the floor.
Oh yeah, and a wandering female, stark naked, except for a face mask and big ole knife.
Acting is over the top, though one grows accustomed to it, as well as the banal dialogue.
If you make it midway, hang around for the chapel of mannequins.

Stunningly restoration by Nicolas Winding Refn is the one to catch.
Subs = https://subscene.com/subtitles/the-nest-of-the-cuckoo-birds/english/2793980

Ingrid Bergman: In Her Own Words - 2015 - 7/10
AKA - Jag är Ingrid

Less a documentary about the movie career, but more a behind the doors personal look.
For a Bergman fan, there is wonderful material here. Old photos, home movies taken by her father, as well as Ingrid herself who was quite the home movie buff. A trove of correspondence with lifelong Swedish friends. Recollections from her four children.
What emerges, however, is the story of a loner and perhaps a lonely soul.
Bergman moves from Sweden to Hollywood to Italy to England. In two moves, she leaves her children behind.
Always, though, she takes her bulging collection of photos, letters and home movies.
One wonders if, for the woman orphaned early, those physical memories were more important than anything else.

Graves, Clotilde - A Vanished Hand

Melissa Edmundson has done a stellar job here, gathering Clotilde Graves’ supernatural tales into a choice collection. Indeed, this could easily fit into Richard Dalby’s “Mistresses Of The Macabre” series.
A diverse assortment, with little thematic repetition.
“How The Mistress Came Home” catches the young bride, arriving to the great house ahead of the carriage, throwing the staff into consternation. Funny, sad, funny again.
“A Spirit Elopement” is more cautionary, about summoned spectres who then tend to stick around. Warning, you mess with the unknown, chances are unknown consequences await.
Pining for your lost love, or lover? After the death of his love, Daymond never dated, never married. He remained steadfast to his memory. Yet in “A Vanished Hand” the ghost unexpectedly returns, with no understanding of time. Worse, Daymond’s recollections appear to be skewed.
“The Compleat Housewife” finds another new bride taking possession of the manor, and the fabled recipe book. The book, though, belongs to the unquiet ghost of the estate, who takes a surprising shine to the young girl, helping her with a legendary banquet. By turns funny, before darkening.
Straight up adventure follows in “The Mother Of Turquoise.” Men, camels and equipment journey deep into the desert, searching for the precious lode. Haggard on a small scale, rousing stuff.
Love makes promises, true love most of all. “Dark Dawn” charts one such declaration from Corporal Cane to his beloved Temperance, before he marches off to war.
Edmundson provides an illuminating introduction. And! there are two profiles at the end, with one being an observation of Graves’ alter ego, Richard Dehan.

The Three-Sided Mirror - 1927 - 6/10
AKA - La Glace A Trois Faces

Story of Paul Morand, Jazz Age playboy.
He strings three ladies along, Pearl being the most expensive and high maintenance.

For Paul, there are endless lovelies available, so each vignette is a weary end.
Breakups dismissive, casual, scornful.
Jean Epstein silent uses double exposures to memorable effect, showing inner thoughts and premonitions.
Later, there are jump cuts and brief edits, which would not be common for decades.
I was unable to sync subs, though the version I saw, the intertitles were spoken aloud by Jean-Pierre Aumont.
Elegant film.

Codici: A Mob Story (Capitolo Due) - 2022 - 6/10

During a funeral, a meeting is arranged between a mob boss and an emissary.
Questions regarding impulse decisions, unfortunate outcomes.
Brooding crime short from B.A. Productions is dialogue driven.
Violence is understated, acting and photography professional.
Subs = https://www.mediafire.com/file/1dsiv9fsiq2ximr/Codici_A_Mob_Story_Capitolo_Due_-_2022.srt

Crosswinds - 1951 - 6/10

Those interested in an old-fashioned adventure (and pen pal correspondence), read on.
Small time skipper, with a really nice boat, gets fleeced out of same boat by good natured con man.
A hunt for hidden pearls lands him into trouble with the local constabulary.
Next, the skipper teams up with a pair of genial swindlers.
Everyone soon hurries to the crash site of a plane packed with gold bullion.
The coordinates are in crocodile infested waters, patrolled by a village of head-hunters!
Solid cast (John Payne, Forrest Tucker, Rhonda Fleming) are suitably middle aged weary.
Alliances form and break as all aboard maneuver for that gold, and dodge spears, arrows, blow darts, and those ever chomping crocodiles.
Old school in every sense of the word.
Observant viewers will note underwater scenes take place in the exact same location each time.

Though supposedly set in New Guinea, opening credits listed Weeki Wachee, a real place I used to visit as a kid.
Weeki Wachee, still flourishing in Florida, is tourist trap famed for its “live mermaids” underwater act.
In fact - and sorry for digressing - you can write the mermaids and they will write you back!
The park refers to this as - I kid you not - “Tail Mail.”

Misha Of The Wolves - 2021 - 7/10

In 1944, Nazis seize 7 year old Misha’s parents, ship them to the camps, place her with a Belgium family.
Still, she wants her real parents! So, on foot, she sets off into the wilderness to find them.
She lives off the land, steals food from farmers, witnesses war atrocities.
More importantly, she is a adopted by a pack of wolves, who treat her as a cub and share food with her.
In the late 1990’s her amazing memoir is published. Worldwide, she is acclaimed and lauded.
After all, her survival was astounding.

Skeptics, cynics, scoffers, doubters, those who wonder at the veracity of miracle stories …
This one’s for you.

Murder In Lisieux - 2019 - 6/10
AKA - Les Ombres de Lisieux

Inside the convent, the statue of a saint comes to life.
Wait a minute, there’s a corpse concealed inside that statue!
At which point, the usual male / female detective duo arrive.
Who was the victim? Why was she murdered? Who killed her?
The convent setting provides a twist, as do the sisters.
The mother superior and male detective have a loose connection (fans of DI Cromwell and Mother Helen, not here).
Aside from the nunnery, routine French crime mystery.

How To Be Bohemian - 2015 - 6/10

How indeed? Is there even such a thing anymore?
Three part series hosted by Victoria Coren Mitchell.
First episode offers historical perspective of early 19th century Paris Decadents, popularized in famous book, “La Vie de Bohème.” Followed by London types, Pre-Raphaelites and Aesthetes, think Wilde and Beardsley.
Second episode focuses on Bloomsbury Group and the “bright young things.”
The first episode were creative souls, striving against social norms, working for success on their own terms.
The second were mostly rich, privileged souls with affluent bank accounts.
Third episode begins at the 60’s, sweeps to today. Creative types followed by wannabees.
Bohemia commodified and sold to middle class and hipsters who hope “looking unique” is the same as “being unique."

Numerous talking heads throughout. Some informed, some funny, others are aging, pretentious old farts.
Host Mitchell comes off as a bit bourgeois, though that is actually refreshing in light of affected posing elsewhere.
Poseurs, pretenders, limited sorts roundly loathed by all.

Hard Boiled - 1992 - 7/10
AKA - Lat Sau San Taam // 辣手神探

Action seekers, you better have seen this five times already!
Triad gang is smuggling weapons into Hong Kong.
Police aren’t powerless, yet they seem two steps behind.
Aside from maverick cop, Tequila. (Following The Killer, this propelled Chow Yun Fat to global stardom.)
Also receiving accolades were Tony Leung as the undercover cop, and Anthony Wong, the mob boss.
What really stood out – and still stands out – are the action sequences.
Imaginative, dazzling, superbly choreographed, they put to shame other so-called action films.
One of many titles that put Hong Kong on cinema’s map … for awhile.

Looking For Mr. Goodbar - 1977 - 6/10

Theresa, schoolteacher by day, clubrat by night, sleeping around, popping pills.
Part of this is her blossoming out of an ugly girl adolescence, and rebellion against her uptight Catholic family.
Bar shots and club scenes are alright. The “adult” stuff is listless (though Gere has energy to spare) .
Keaton was acclaimed, since this was a real break from her Woody Allen roles, but I didn’t get her.
Day time: passionate. Dating scene: disinterested, bored, the proverbial dead fish lay. Quaaludes?
Dreary, moralizing film proves a real downer.
Loose sex in the ‘70’s (pre-AIDS) was shallow, freewheeling, and much more fun.

Plastic - 2014 - 4/10

Expected disappointment with this one, and duly received.
Caper heist with cardboard characters, plot holes an eight year old could spot, useless scenery, MOR tunes.
UK con men quartet get in trouble with small time Eastern European boss and his two thugs.
Yep, four good guys vs three villains. Guys, acquire handguns, target practice, or press in foreheads.
Easy, Barney.
These supposed “good” hoods - who steal credit cards and rip off rubes - are naive 20 year olds.
Still, in less than two weeks they work out how to heist $2 M, vacation in Miami, hire a private jet!!
So smart, so special.
Despite arguments, colossal errors, wayward romance, “the plan” unfolds.
Predictable - boring - with contempt for viewer IQ.

I keep hoping. First time I heard of the Gilbey brothers was Rise Of The Footsoldier, a cracking good mobster flick.
Firm member becomes enforcer then accumulates power. Damn good film.
Next, A Lonely Place To Die with stupid, baked-potatoes-for-brains, hikers stumbling across kidnapping plot.
Every character had zero common sense and negative likability.
Plastic is yet another step down into comatose creativity.
Guy Ritchie without style.

How To Survive The End Of The World - 2013 - 6/10
AKA - Evacuate Earth

Multi-episode documentary mixes science with speculation.
What if … the planet were struck with a global pandemic (this aired 2013).
Or flood waters covered the earth, or the orbit shifted, moving us away from the sun.
Or weather turns wilder, deadlier.
Experts describe scenarios and possible solutions.
The add-on episode, encounter with a neutron star, lives up to the alternate “Evacuate Earth” title.
It was also wise enough to pinpoint those who, during rescue, would push themselves to the front of the line.
The wealthy, who may lack necessary skill-sets. And politicians, who excel at provoking conflict.
Curiously, what is not delineated is irreversible, runaway global warming. Oh, the irony.

No Man’s Land - 2016 - 7/10

Theatre junkies! Harold Pinter, eh? You are hardcore.
The celebrated man plays host to a lesser acquaintance, the minor poet.
Through the evening, both men drink, and drink.
Two other men arrive, thuggish attendants to the celebrated man.
Act one is easy enough to follow. Act two seems to swirl into sodden incoherence.
Drinks in hand, they talk, and talk. Braggadocio, flawed memories, confusion.
Quite funny at times, other times I felt like I was hearing rambling drunks before they nodded off.

Is Amanda Knox Guilty? - 2014 - 5/10

And do we care anymore? Not so much.
Documentary started fine, then began to stumble often.
It meandered around, much like the Italian prosecutors, and lacked focus.
Blood - blood is the trail. Evidence - pinpoint the evidence.
As with the OJ Simpson trial, the murdered victim was an afterthought.
The suspects - the circus whooped and hollered around the suspects.
One is left with the sour taste that Miss Knox knows “something,” did “something,” may even be culpable.
The documentary, however, is shallow and never penetrates.

The Housemaid - 1960 - 7/10
AKA - Hanyeo // 하녀

The piano teacher moonlights at the factory, giving singing lessons.
His wife is overworked at home, so he hires a maid to assist.
The girl is barely above beggar status, but she sexually ensnares the teacher.
Dark film of possession. Rain sodden, Noir photography, Expressionistic angles.
Our “hero” is a doomed weakling, causing untold havoc in his family.
Eun-shim Lee is mesmerizing as the sly, unstable maid. (Apparently audiences so hated her character so much, her career was finished).
For viewers wondering why so many females eyed the teacher, consider the “man shortage” after the Korean War.

Murder By Death - 1976 - 6/10

Five famous amateur detectives are summoned to stately Twain manor.
There, they are informed a murder shall occur at midnight, and they will not be able to solve it.
Thereby tarnishing their reputations, and leaving their host as the greatest mastermind of them all!
Written by Neil Simon, opening credits by Charles Addams, featuring a gala of stars: David Niven, Peter Sellers, Maggie Smith, Peter Falk, Alec Guinness, Elsa Lanchester …
Spoofed are Sam Spade, Nick & Nora Charles, Charlie Chan, Miss Marple, Hercule Poirot.
Heavy on gags (many wildly politically incorrect), they can be enjoyed by all, though genre buffs will relish.

Manhattan Night - 2016 - 4/10

Investigative journalist meets mysterious blonde at party of new newspaper owner.
Journalist and wife (a doctor) live in secret hideaway home in middle of Gotham.
Nevertheless, a blonde is still a blonde and the journalist has zero instinct for trouble.
Soon enough he is snared in murder, blackmail, beatings, shootings.
Not a cop in sight.
Cliché piles upon cliché.
Thriller relies on stereotypes, leaps into absurdity.
Hard to tell what is worse, stupefying clichés or situations and twists that turn preposterous.
Fine cast of actors are trapped in a script less organized than a sonata of hamster farts.

Louis Prima: The Wildest! - 1999 - 7/10

Spotty documentary scores on energy level alone.
This one really charts the music. The career in New Orleans, New York, Los Angeles, Las Vegas.
From his early beginnings, the combos, the band leader, retrenchment back into the combo.
And in Vegas, with Keely Smith, Sam Butera and the Witnesses, he strikes gold!
Prima built Vegas. No brag, fact. His performances, which ran from midnight until 6:00 AM, were pure energy.
Other entertainers, from singers to Hollywood stars, attended, observed, learned.
This is no deep documentary, though.
Surviving band-mates interviewed, along with his manager.
Only two of his five wives interviewed. Only children from his final marriage interviewed.
The personal stuff … it ain’t there. Curious, go to Wikipedia.
What this is, is 90’ of unstoppable, breathless entertainment.

Napoleon Ist An Allem Schuld - 1938 - 6/10

A history buff, Napoleon Bonaparte fanatic, envisions himself as emperor reincarnate.
Consequently, he is invited to be one of the speakers at a Bonaparte convention in Paris.
Where he gets entangled with a chorus girl.
And compounds matters by telling camera snapping reporters she is his daughter.

For a Reichsfilme, this is rapid fire comedy, packed with innuendo, bordering on farce.
There are also several major musical numbers, one featuring showgirls in Napoleon headgear.
Always amusing, though not laugh out loud funny, since I was keeping up with subs.

De Surprise - 2015 - 7/10

After a series of botched suicide attempts, Jacob decides to do it right.
He hires professionals to erase him from this existence permanently.
Elysium - Professional guide to your final destination.
“Of course we can accommodate you, sir. Would you have a favorite location, activity, or perhaps option E?”
“Oh, yes! Option E, just surprise me.”
Sad moody film turns into droll comedy once our protagonist discovers he cannot change his mind.
Dutch movie shifts from poignant to laugh out loud funny to violently lethal.

Crawford, F Marion - Uncanny Tales

The definition of crusty stories. What one would listen to or share in bygone gentleman’s clubs. Leather armchairs, cigars, pipes, glass of port or whisky.
“The Dead Smile” circles two hopeful lovers. Waiting for knowledge, or enlightenment, to dispel an unspoken taint, so they may marry, burden eased.
Our narrator acquired the house, and a splendid one it is – aside from the teensy issue of “The Screaming Skull.” Nor, he feels, should it scream at him. It was only an offhand comment.
“Man Overboard” and “The Upper Berth” are both nautical adventures. Riggings, seaspray, heaving waves, as well as the odd ghost or two. One can always try to ignore.
To extend this collection, a few stories from Crawford’s sisters have been included. For me, the most memorable was “A Shadow On A Wave,” by Madame von Rabe. Neither a haunting, nor at first blush a supernatural spell, it is a memory of passion. A great Passion between an artist and half-glimpsed muse. Our artist is smitten with Venice, and the city is gloriously described. In affairs of the heart however, he is heedless of messages and consequences.