Vultural

Shaolin Soccer - 2001 - 6/10
AKA - Siu Lam Juk Lau // 少林足球

One of Stephen Chow’s most successful and accessible films.
An ex-monk, wanting to bring Shaolin doctrines to the masses, decides soccer is the vehicle,
With five other monks and a ragtag team, they build victories.
Until they encounter Team Evil, reliant on performance drugs.
Fair play versus cheating. Honor versus treachery.
Will good prevail?
Miramax, then owned by Disney, got the rights and poorly distributed this Stateside.
Or Disney planned to remake this with Western adolescents. Who knows?
Terrific crowd pleaser and constantly funny.
Still banned in mainland China.

Miss You Already - 2015 - 5/10

Drew and Toni on the cover, with the “miss you” title, I knew exactly how this would play, who was going to be the sufferer, and how events would transpire.
I was correct across the board.
Predictable tale of best friends forever, where one faces the ultimate battle.
Great chemistry between leads cannot compensate for oft repeated tale (reference to Beaches does not help).
Both women are too old for their roles, also.
Some of you will get stuck watching this beside your better half. Too bad.

Bones Of Steel - 2020 - 6/10
AKA - Tetsu no hone // 鉄の骨

Heita (right) works as site inspector for the construction firm.
His overzealousness gets him transferred to HQ Operations.
Abilities, idealism, or less obvious reasons.
The mid-sized company has trouble competing against the large groups.
Nevertheless, all outfits engage in illegal bid-rigging and collusion.
Legal and ethical concerns weigh against company loyalty and climbing the corporate ladder.
Sharp “business drama” is a mere five episodes, so easily watched.
If you develop a taste for this, check out the superb Hanzawa Naoki.

Persuasion - 1995 - 7/10

Concise adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel serves the passionate undercurrents.
Thwarted romantics Anne Eliot and Captain Wentworth are older in this version.
Good Society advised against their match years before, to their profound regret.
Years on, the flame still flickers, while “Society” still disapproves.
Wonderfully understated film of repressed emotions, family expectations.
This hews closest to the book.
Subsequent films deliver a steady increase of emotional outbursts by younger protagonists.
Janeites, this is the one. Those insisting on dramatics, go later.

Lee, Edward - Operator “B”

Not bad SciFi thriller finds retiring test pilot offered a final gig.
A mission involving the highly experimental craft.
Novella is strewn with aeronautical and military jargon. No idea if any is accurate or if Mr. Lee is letting his imagination run wild. It works, though.
Like I said, not bad. Alright way to spend an hour.
What is bad is how Lee spends so much of his efforts in Horror where he is a mid tier writer.

Kentucky Fried Movie - 1977 - 6/10

Series of unconnected comedy sketches, similar to the fledging Saturday Night Live but with more blatant sexuality.
The skits vary considerably, from hilarious to tasteless to dated and incomprehensible.
There are about 20 bits, ranging from seconds in length to longer. Highlights include:
“Catholic High School Girls in Trouble” – parody of sexploitation romps, popular in the 70‘s.
“The Wonderful World of Sex” – the couple retire for romance, but first spin the how-to LP.
“Eyewitness News” – where the TV reporters can eyewitness participants on the couch.
The real gem is “A Fistful Of Yen”, a 30’ spoof of kung fu films, particularly Bruce Lee.

A sinister mastermind, his indomitable fortress, an army of thugs. And one smart-ass hero.
This film is where the Zucker team cut their teeth, paving the way for Airplane, Naked Gun, Scary Movie, etc …

Pumping Iron 2: The Women - 1985 - 6/10

Following the success of the first film (Arnold vs Lou Ferrigno), filmmakers eyed female bodybuilders.
Eventually honing in on the popular Rachel McLish against muscled-to-the-max Bev Francis.
Bev is cast as a naive innocent, akin to Lou Ferrigno.
McLish, who had won numerous competitions is shown in a darker light, akin to Ken Waller.
The doc is uncomfortably funny, as Bev Francis is clearly the most muscular, though not particularly feminine.
Event organizers wring their hands throughout, anticipating a negative crowd reaction.
More soap opera than documentary, with an infuriating ending.

Blood Relatives - 1978 - 5/10
AKA - Les Liens de Sang

Somewhat overlooked Claude Chabrol potboiler of gruesome murder.
Cast is French, Canadian and English, setting is Montreal.
Female cousins, returning home from late night party, are assaulted, one murdered.
Detective (Donald Sutherland) starts investigating, focusing on family and coworkers.
Perhaps more sensational in its day, the narrative thuds, though sleazy sidetracks spice it up a bit.
Hairstyles and clothes are pure late 70’s, though no other cultural references.
Chances are, early on alert viewers will guess the slasher’s identity.
Might even guess the motivation.
Dud.

Tár - 2022 - 7/10

Lydia Tár, premier “female” conductor of her time, prepares to conclude her Mahler cycle.
She leads the BPO (Berlin Philharmonic), teaches at Juilliard, composes, gives sold out speaking engagements.
Her home life is settled and secure. Rival conductors seek her counsel.
Bright days ahead, yes?
A young protégé has committed suicide. Tár wants to replace an aging, beloved assistant conductor.
Then there is the young cellist, ripe with youth.
Deep character study of an artist not quite recognizing how turbulent are the waters they have stirred,
Early sections may remind one of Clouds Of Sils Maria, later of Blue Jasmine.
Make no mistake, this is arthouse. Steeped in classical music.
Dropped names include Bernstein, von Karajan, Furtwängler, Dutoit, Levine. Even a sly comment about Gould.
Performances include the Mahler 5, Elgar’s Cello Concerto, Bach.
Exceptional performance by Cate Blanchett in an engrossing, if overlong film.

Camping - 2016 - 6/10

Weekend campout / birthday celebration in the cabins, close by a beach.
The mild-mannered man and his overbearing wife.
Our caretaker, who could be janitor at Camp Crystal Lake.
Enter the late arrivals, the recently separated man and his eager beaver girlfriend.
Add alcohol, old resentments, jealousy, rampant sexual antics.
Wildly incorrect Julia Davis series boasts drug use, nudity, unappealing ruttings.
If you have a taste for Julia Davis’s work, this is laugh out loud funny.
Beware the sanitized USA remake.

Emma - 1996 - 8/10

Emma Woodhouse, matchmaker in the worst manner, repeatedly fails to connect her targets.
At the same time, fumbling her own romantic affairs.
Of all the Jane Austen novels, this is one of the funniest.
Cast is picture perfect (even silver spoon Paltrow is great).
First rate across the board: costumes, settings, period music, lush photography.
For guys worrying, this is not Hallmark kryptonite, though still a romantic comedy.

Danny Deckchair - 2003 - 6/10

Danny, construction worker, is bored with his lot,
Worse, his girlfriend is unresponsive.
What to do? How about string helium balloons to your lawnchair and up, up and away!
Adventures, national acclaim, a MYSTERY, then a new girlfriend!
Reinventing Oneself 101.
Silly, harmless romantic fluff, based, astoundingly enough on a real-life, and far more compelling, story.
https://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1998-11.html
https://www.cartalk.com/radio/letter/lawnchair-pilot-larry-walters-0

Shaun The Sheep Movie - 2015 - 7/10

I’ll try to be careful here. Shaun is perhaps best viewed as still a juvenile.
The farm has become routine. Tedious and predictable.
When Shaun spies the banner on a passing bus, “Take A Day Off!” he devises a scheme.
And, as with so many plans concocted by man and livestock alike, events swiftly go awry.
Shaun, fellow flock friends, and loyal dog Bitzer, accidentally unleash havoc.
While the party-popping pigs drag the house into a breezy bachelor pad, the others skedaddle to Big City.
Danger and disaster darken their path, yet persevere they must, for family must be rescued.
An inventive claymation romp, with barely any dialogue, this is one of those gems parents can safely share with young children. Studded with jokes and gags, with an irresistibly catchy theme song, “Feels Like Summer.“

Affair In Trinidad - 1952 - 6/10

Chris’s husband commits suicide.
Or did he? Police smell murder.
As luck would have it, her brother-in-law appears and starts poking his nose about.
Rita Hayworth and Glenn Ford reteam, and once again he plays a snarling jealous moron.
Meanwhile, there are suspicious European ex-pats runs by a calculating smoothie (Alexander Scourby).
Plot is muddy because of rival mysteries, both poorly delineated.
Hayworth does two numbers. First one is over the top and silly. The second is gold.
Don’t think about Gilda when watching this mediocre potboiler.

Sea Of Love - 1989 - 6/10

Alcoholic cop, burned out at work, despondent after his wife left him.
Latches onto a downtown murder, which soon escalates into more.
Yeah, serial killer. Male victims, notes written in lipstick. Probably an angry female.
Solid thriller / Neo Noir appears to be the template for later Basic Instinct.
Pacino and Ellen Barkin display a torrid chemistry, and the mystery angles are good, too.

The Curse (The VVitch) - Maniac

Filesize = 5.4 GB, Video = 1920 X 1080p AVC, Audio = 1536 kbps, 5.1 DTS. No subs.

Maniac really pares this down to essentials.
With the run time of a B-movie, the story itself now packs more mystery than the original.
This is a blighted family, cursed, literally, by the father’s overweening pride.
Outside the settlement, their survival chances soon sour.
Thomasin is less victim in this, and more ambiguous.
One wonders if she had made a fateful decision earlier, say in the village that banished them.
Cutting and editing is smooth, and this condensed version is coherent, at least the narrative.
This features an enveloping 5.1 score, at times overwhelming.
Dialogue is still old New-English (without the dropped r’s) and often muffled.
Worth watching, though I was never especially keen on the original.

Monster Zero (Kaijû Daisensô) - Red Menace

Filesize = 14.7 GB, Video = 1920 X 818p AVC, Audio = 192 kbps AAC, 2-Channel stereo. No Subs.

Newly discovered Planet X reaches out to Earth, asking for assistance.
Monster Zero is destroying their world. Visiting astronauts identity the monster as Ghidorah!
Planet X wants Godzilla and Rodan to defeat Ghidorah and offers a cure for disease in exchange.
Earth leaders, a gullible lot, hand over the beasts, blind to what Planet X is actually after.
Beautifully restored by Red Menace, as part of numerous Godzilla restorations.
Video is clean, sharp, well colored.
Audio is the English dub (I would have preferred Japanese) where you can hear Nick Adams.
Far from the best Godzilla film, though not the worst, this is easily one of the best looking versions of this middling outing. Gojira fans, get this and lament the folly of men.

Black Lotus: The Movie v1.13 (Blade Runner: Black Lotus) - Wakeupkeo

Filesize = 17.2 GB, Video = 1920 X 1080p AVC, Audio = 637 kbps, 5.1 AAC. Subs = yes.

A smart concept, set 17 years before “Blade Runner 2047”.
Unfortunately, the team that created this either did not know how to work within that world, or hedged their bets by layering other film cues.
A knowledgeable buff will recognize elements from “The Matrix”, “Total Recall”, “Blade”, “Ghost In The Shell” and a slew of Japanese action swordplay.
Exciting, but veering from the Blade Runner world is hardly faithful.
OK, the edit.
This looks amazing! Even dark scenes, and this series is replete with them, are sharp and detailed.
While I glanced at the cut list, there was nothing to see. Editing is smooth and crisp throughout.
Audio is a dynamic 5.1, but good voice actors (not always a given).
Bonus applause for providing competent subtitles.
The “look” of key locations: Los Angeles streets, the Tyrell Building, the Bradbury Building, all exceed expectations.

Over an hour has been trimmed, and the narrative remains coherent and intelligent.
Most of the fight scenes are too damn long, however. In my opinion.
They are exhausting and repetitive. After awhile, I fast forward through those.
Personal taste, I would have preferred to see those trimmed hard, and bring run time down to 2 hours.
No matter. This is a spectacular edit. Blade Runner audience, forego the series, see this!
And sit through those credits!

The Case Of The Bloody Iris - 1972 - 6/10
AKA - Perché quelle strane gocce di sangue sul corpo di Jennifer?

The elevator is crowded, until it’s not. And by that time, the gloves are on and the blade flashes.
She was blonde, heading towards an assignation when … well … victim #1.
Brisk moving Giallo is packed with nudity, occasional sex, and loads of suspects.
Confusing? Sure, they all are. Who cares!
A mouth watering Edwige Fenech headlines a parade of stunning females.
None have real jobs. Dancing, nude modeling, wrestling, or interviews.
Highly entertaining plot gallops at a heady pace.
Fashionistas? Edwige has a glamorous, seemingly bottomless wardrobe.

Anything Else - 2003 - 6/10

Jerry is not one for change, moving on. He still has a do-nothing manager, and a girlfriend to whom he cannot commit.
Not that he’s lazy, the rut is simply familiar, comfortable.
Then he meets Amanda. Freewheeling, dismissive, predatory.
Attraction leads Jerry into countless errors.
While a comedy, this hews closer to a relationship drama masquerading as comedy.
Coming off a handful of Allen films that I did not care for, this is memorable, especially with a young cast.
Allen as the loose cannon mentor, and Christina Ricci as sexpot Amanda, come off best.
Jason Biggs, playing a younger version of Allen, is overshadowed.
While this may be uncomfortable to some, this is where Allen got a second wind and began a good run.

Lloyd, Rebecca - Drowning In The Sky

Canny selection of stories from an author I often have problems with.
Jeff and Pat leave London for the countryside, partly to aid son Lennie, who had his own difficulties in the city. The problem with Faulsway is there are no children Lennie’s age, no one to make friends with. Until he encounters the unsavory “Ringers”.
“For Two Songs” is a conversation between two self-effacing souls. Primarily Eliza, talking about childhood with her sister, Donna, passionately beloved by their father. Eliza was scorned. How unfortunate that Donna’s time was so brief.
The chance encounter on the bus, the underground, the pavement. Throwing a baleful gaze of venom and hatred. In “Dark Contaminator” our narrator spies the evil eye, then spontaneously gives chase.
“Teuthida” gives a wry observation of a boyhood chum, one who later becomes the famous, if reclusive author, Henry Lawncroft. No middle name is given though one suspects it begins with “P”, making his initials HPL. Here, good grief! the phobias parents inflict on their children.
Rural horror, American Gothic (mid America?) saturate “Bogieman,” told in slight vernacular. Home is isolated, I would hazard a guess somewhere in the Ozarks. The son navigates between his warped brother and completely insane, religious zealot of a mother.
For me, so many of Lloyd’s works never seem to finish properly. Mood, setting, atmosphere, characters, let down with insufficient resolution. Thankfully, most in this book conclude.
An enjoyable group. Thanks to the author, thanks to the publisher.

Beat The Devil - 2021 - 7/10

Ralph Fiennes as playwright David Hare, who caught and suffered with Covid in 2020.
Scathing, biting rebuke of political leaders who did nothing as the disease approached.
Leaders who slashed funding for the NHS, permitted travelers from “hotbed” afflicted nations to enter without quarantine, who shuffled ill patients to nursing homes.
Leaders who said, “I’m sorry” not because 23 M caught the disease, not because 200 K died, but they were sorry because citizens were upset.
Harrowing satire, made worse because this still applies in nation after nation.
Good leaders, like good help, so hard to find.
English subs = https://subscene.com/subtitles/beat-the-devil/english/2939378

Super Size Me - 2004 - 6/10

In his second outing, Morgan Spurlock struck gold.
Using himself as guinea pig, he waddles down the American fast food diet and balloons his size.
Funny and alarming.
Spurlock displays gentle humor and a better rapport with the Average Joe that the rival pompous blowhard.
Afterward, he became a one-man industry with numerous docs of varying quality.
This is his best, and probably useful for folks undergoing a personal recession thinking,
“Groceries are too expensive, fast food is cheap, how bad can it be?”

The Happy Ending - 1969 - 7/10

Surprisingly biting woman’s film follows stifled wife (Jean Simmons) of successful attorney (John Forsythe).
Opportunities are opening for young females that were unavailable to her generation.
Work is not an option. Shopping is, as is bitching at the salon or spa. And numbing house parties.
Sixteen years into marriage, she drinks, pops pills, loses herself.
Multiple timelines interweave flashbacks, present, future. Deliberately confusing to mirror the character.
Great cast, especially in Nassau, includes Shirley Jones, Lloyd Bridges, Bobby Darin.
Song “What Are You Doing With The Rest Of Your Life?" is evocative.
Opening sequence of Simmons & Forsythe as 20 somethings was completely false.
Simmons also looks older than Jones, though they were supposedly classmates.

Despite this being a woman’s story, I know numerous souls like her.
Most are retired or permanently unemployed. They have lost their bearings.
Boredom or disappointment tempt them into affairs, or narcotics.

As indicated earlier, I started this ten years ago.
I downed files from a bygone site and burned to DVD-R for later.
Always glad to find subs, as Greengrass is often indecipherable.
Still, the subs generally fall out of sync - ahead / behind - several times.
Good luck with this.