Vultural

Blade 3 Behead The King (Blade Trinity) - CBB

Filesize = 5.4 GB, Video = 720 X 480p AVC, Audio = 316 kbps 5.1 AAC. Subs = yes.

As most know, the original had problems which killed the franchise.
Boon strips away most of the stupidity, the incompetent dialogue, crowd service.
The result is a propulsive, action driven comic. Not much thinking goes on.
Like the original, the edit is “too white”, the villain hammy, and in Boon’s version, the ending is weird.
While I enjoyed this, I have major, major reservations.
I believe this was originally a DVD. What is currently available is an mp4, omitting bonus material.
The sound mix envelopes and the dialogue clear. There are subtitles, yet they are indifferently timed. Sometimes preceding comments, other times tarrying behind, and other times missing.
Worse by far, there is a hiccup, a glitch, that occurs every four seconds, throughout the entire edit.
This is a glaring error and would never have been approved in 2006.
Consequently, I urge those who want to view this work to track down the original DVD and bypass the mp4.
I must confess it was nice to see closing credits with Fanedited com. Bygone times.

The Man With The Golden Gun (LESS IS MOORE Edition) - MusicEd

Filesize = 12.4 GB, Video = 1920 X 1080p AVC, Audio = 384 kbps AAC 2-Channel stereo. No subs.

An acceptable Moore outing gets a trim, and now hews closer to a Connery Bond.
Biggest cut, J.W. Pepper, who was unendurable in **Live And Let Die”” and completely pointless for the second Moore vehicle. Of course, the car chase is likewise in the disposal, which is also great if you, like me, find chases overlong padding.
Using the Alice Cooper band’s “The Man With The Golden Gun” makes common sense, though Lulu’s version echoes Bassey’s brassy rendition. AC was more relevant at the time, Lulu more British.
Editing, video and audio is excellent. Video especially so.
The audio is murky in places, primarily Maud Adams around the 1:05 point.
Filesize is pretty big, beyond the range of most DVD-R. I doubt enthusiasts of fanedits will devote limited drive space to saving these larger edits.
This edit makes a solid case for Moore as 007. Subsequent forays would grow sillier and bloated, in keeping with the zeitgeist of the 70’s.
MusicEd’s overhaul is superb. Bond fans should see this, I wish Roger Moore had seen it.

Obscene: A Portrait Of Barney Rosset and Grove Press - 2007 - 6/10

Scored this high early on, lowered it as the film progressed.
Suspicious documentary of the publisher of Grove Press.
The first half of this is absolutely smashing! New York literary elite, the Beats, Jazz greats. All signposted.
Rosset bought a tiny press and proceeded to publish “Lady Chatterley’s Lover,” “Tropic Of Cancer,” and “Naked Lunch.”
Each time, he and his cohorts fought local censors and numerous courts. Grove became the locus of the new generation of literature. and published the 50’s edgy icons.

Next, Grove bought I Am Curious Yellow and fought for the film.
By the 70’s, however, Grove was publishing Victorian erotica (porn in purple prose).

Those erotic titles were the ones I distinctly remember seeing in the drugstore racks.
The press, as well as the documentary, goes downhill at this point.
There was a well publicized strike by, as Rosset called them, women libbers.
A bomb went off. He lost his business, he lost his property.
Everyone soft pedaled the latter years. Last twenty minutes feels like a whitewash.

7 Up & Me - 2019 - 6/10

Airing just before the release of 63 Up, this has clips from the series, as well as comments and reflections by various TV and film stars.
Each sharing their own growing up traumas and challenges … before they became successful.
A curio for diehard fans of the series, though it is neither here nor there, and hardly essential.

Hideous Kinky - 1998 - 6/10

Following a divorce (?) Julia moves herself and her two young daughters to Marrakesh.
Heady, exotic, colorful, but Julia is of limited means so they live poorly.
Residents in her run down apartment disdain her, steal from her.
In a quest for enlightenment, purpose, she is blind to the day to day.
Ravishing photography, sharp eye for local color, yet the story is a muddle.
At the end, the point of view shifts, and it probably should have been that way throughout.

My Gun Is Quick - 1957 - 6/10

Low budget quickie of tawdry Mickey Spillane novel.
Mike Hammer helps out jailbait hooker in hash house.
Couple beats later, downtown police advise him girl was found dead.
Curious, Hammer starts investigating.
Crappy sets, no name actors, indifferent music score bear witness to limited resources.
This actually works in favor of the cheap look and gritty feel of the material.
Spillane’s pulp cocktail of strippers, murderers, WWII smugglers, and sex is well served.

Mogul Mowgli - 2020 - 6/10

Better late than never.
Finishing a US tour, British / Pakistani rapper Zed is invited to be opener for a headline act.
Even though he is somewhere in his 30’s, and old in the game, this is the big break.
So why is his body starting to act up? Now, of all times.
Character study of the talented in conflict with time, with family, rivals, his heritage, himself.
Some cultural references I grasped, others eluded me.
There are dream fugues that interrupt the narrative without adding to it.
Conflict and crises are poorly elaborated and the ending feels rushed and tacked on.

Fresh - 2022 - 7/10

Dating. It can just be the worst. Check that, dating is the worst.
The phony face of best behavior, masking the selfish toad beneath.
Still, miraculously, shopping late one night, Noa meets Steve at the grocery store.
They make the casual connection, swap numbers, forget and chill.
After a week, they start doing the restaurants. Selectively, Steve is vegan.
Followed by the long weekend getaway, the next major step … straight into chains.
Horrifying date romp manages to be gut churning and wickedly funny.
The dialogue sparkles, rare in genre films.
Beautifully composed (where is that house?), smartly directed.
One of the better recent terror films … maybe not for vegans.

Faneditors, take note!

Empire State Building Murders - 2008 - 6/10
AKA - Meurtres à l’Empire State Building

Sordid tale, told in flashbacks by the detective (Kirk Douglas), enforcer (Ben Gazarra), rival (Mickey Rooney), maid (Marsha Hunt), girlfriends (Cyd Charisse & Anne Jeffreys).
Late 1940’s, New York is ruled by three Mafia dons: Tony (James Cagney), Brassi (Edward G. Robinson) and Rico (Lawrence Tierney).
Then Tony meets Penny (Lauren Bacall), who acts as propane to simmering tensions.
Unbelievable romp through Film Noir is packed with careening, ofttimes absurd narratives.
Dozens of old clips woven to concoct a loose story that is part mystery, part are-you-kidding-me?
Final film role for some, near the end for most.
Wonderful treat for Noir fans. Did I mention Bogart, Lizabeth Scott, Richard Widmark, Simone Simon?

Young Desire - 1930 - 5/10

Helen, sick and tired of the cootch show, leaves the carnival.
Walking the back road, she meets a swell. Young, naïve, wowed by her looks and worldliness.
As he buys her dinner, gets her an apartment, Helen plans to fleece him down to his skin.
Only thing, he’s so earnest, and so wild about her, she can’t stop falling in love with him.
Meanwhile, the carnival travels the circuit and is soon back in that little town.
And Helen’s past resurfaces.
Creaky early talkie, early Pre-Code, something of a soaper, although Helen’s beau returns home every night between 2 AM and 3 AM, leading one to wonder what that couple is doing all night in her apartment.
Mary Nolan is mouth-watering, but she has problems “acting”. She waits for others to say their lines, thinks a moment, then says hers. William Janney is no great shakes either, but he is perfectly cast!
Fans of Nolan, this is still a must. The print I viewed was pretty good.

Lady In The Van - 2015 - 7/10

Beware - Advertised as a comedy. Maybe in the “better him than me” genre.
Maggie Smith plays homeless lady who moves onto a street, eventually one resident’s driveway and stays 15 years!
She never does find work, frightens the children, does not bathe, is argumentative, imperious, manipulative.
Gradually, very gradually, viewers peek into slices of her past, and realize hers has been a tragically wasted life.
While I did not enjoy this film, the plot construction is excellent, score works well, acting is peerless.
Challenging movie to love, though easy to appreciate.
Based on a short book, then on a much lauded play (2000, also with Maggie Smith).

The real question is how neighbors tolerated Mary / Margaret in their midst.
Most streets would have summoned authorities and institutionalized her within days.
Recommended, though her character is exasperating.
Keep a sharp eye out for numerous cameos!

Casshern - 2004 - 6/10
AKA - Kyashān // キャシャーン

After fifty years of global conflict, humanity hangs on, though fighting continues to dwindle numbers.
Plebes suffer, starve, philosophize, while leaders exhort the rabble to persevere.
Enter Tetsuya, mortally wounded, surgically altered into bio-tech warrior, Casshern.
The plot is messy and disjointed (I’m being kind) in this dystopian battle game.
CGI effects are dated, yet weirdly compelling.
Actually, the visuals will keep you watching this overlong, preachy “message” film.
I’m convinced a talented faneditor could alter the dialogue, restructure the plot and make something of this.

Scandal - 1989 - 6/10

A gent, smitten with a stripper, excuse me showgirl, invites her to shack up.
Note, he’s an osteopath, not a musician in a rock band.
Nonetheless, she uses him as a stepping stone to hook up with a cabinet minister.
In addition, she’s having a relationship with a Soviet “diplomat”.
Sexual shenanigans, intrigue, espionage, coverups,
Far fetched exploitation, except this, a retelling of the Profumo Affair, was all too true.
For all the sleaze potential, this is quite reserved.

StarkillerAG said:

Why do you have two movies from 2047 listed? I can’t find any info on them online, either. Have you gotten so obscure with your tastes that you’ve started to review movies from the future? 😉

There are actually eight films currently listed from 2047.
All originate from R’lyeh via time slip, and are only available on or around All-Hallows.
At least according to my source, Charles Dexter Ward, affiliated with Miskatonic U.
Other OT members may weigh in on this, though I have found it prudent not to overly discuss matters pertaining to R’lyeh.
Events can go wrong in a breath.
With all due respect to EOD devotees.

Amy - 2015 - 7/10

Two hour documentary of jazz singer, Amy Winehouse.
Creators unearthed rare materials, including 14 year old Winehouse singing for a friend’s birthday.
Her phenomenal vocal gifts are train-wrecked by substance abuse and incomprehensible reliance on toxic males
Can you say boyfriend (later husband)? Can you say estranged father? Latter reappeared after her success.
Doc brilliantly captures the thrill of her dizzying ascent, yet it is also painful, excruciating at times, to watch her make colossal errors of judgment that led to her death.
An argument was postulated that had Miss Winehouse stuck with more “Frank" oriented material, stayed in the Jazz orbit, she might still be alive and releasing. Mind you, I listen to a lot of current jazz chanteuses. They sing for ecstatic, cult audiences. And theory or no theory, “Back In Black" was a monster, and whether she was prepared or not, Winehouse found herself riding the tiger of fame.
Extraordinarily well done, though one viewing will probably be more than enough for most.

Chupacabra Zombies Vs Wicked Nuns Vs Cthulhu - 2047 - 7/10

Following rampant global warming, the chupacabra population explodes!
Worse, when killed, they revive, hungrier than ever.
Livestock is annihilated, pets disappear, small humans become unhappy meals.
A desperate group of moles evacadores (wall tunnelers) seek refuge in a sinister, fortified nunnery north of Ensenada.
Las Hermanas de Palo Mayombe.
As the gruesome siege whittles their numbers, the sisterhood misconstrue a Santerian chant and accidentally invoke the dread Lord of R’lyeh.
Awesome Cthulhu (who hates the over-used “awesome” word, by the way).
Harlequin Film’s first foray into Horror boasts jaw-dropping special effects.
Cthulhu, churning from the Pacific Ocean, capsizing cruise liners, unforgettable!
Cthulhu’s hundreds of tentacles squeezing pudgy, pleading passengers until their heads pop off, nightmare!
On the other hand, the de rigueur romance storyline is preposterous!
Horny young nun (who wears a habit but no bra) and the way-too-cute pizza delivery guy? Really?
How does the Pepperoni Kid peddle his bicycle through ravenous chupacabras? With a stack of pizzas?
Producers must assume if viewers buy that, they will buy anything.

Saloum - 2021 - 7/10

Three mercenaries known as the Hyenas crouch low, then approach the isolated village.
After participating in a coup in Guinea, they flee into Senegal with a hostage and a case of gold bullion.
Eventually entering Saloum, childhood home for the leader of the trio.
His memories of the village, however, are akin to fleeting nightmares.
And just why would anyone return to a place of dread?
Simmering tensions start as soon as the men enter Saloum, then build inexorably.
Brooding horror film has a remarkable sense of place and should tempt buffs wanting new perspectives.

Blood Tide At Suicide Reef - 2047 - 6/10

The rumor starts. Little more than a suspicion.
Then the underground goes wild, news spreading like an infection.
A new reef appears in the south Pacific. Huge swells crashing against a rising atoll.
Despite shark sightings, adventurous souls race to be among the first.
The initial wave of surfers disappear. Surfers, boards, jet skis, support crews, swallowed by churning seas.

Nevertheless, waves prove irresistible. Tight curls in the north, towering breakers in the south.
Polynesian outriggers arrive. A few come to take money from decadent Westerners. Others carry drums.
Surfers name it, Suicide Reef. One notes the coordinates, 47 9’ S, 123 43’ W, and whispers, R’lyeh.
And, as more landmass continues to breach, strange, incongruous structures grow visible.
Docu-horror mixes extreme sport surfing with unbelievable footage of shark attacks.
Not only riding the waves, but aerial assaults on bronzed humans.
That said, the undersea footage leaves a lot to be desired, owing to cloudy waters.
What we see are congregations of sharks, thousands of octopi, squids, and, beneath the murk, tentacles of vast size.

Shadow Of The Vampire - 2000 - 7/10

My God, Willem Dafoe is an unforgettable presence in this.
Director Murnau’s next project is to be a vampire film.
The Stoker estate refuses to let him use the name Dracula, so he titles his film “Nosferatu”.
The production seems ill fated, beset with problems, disappearances, deaths.
If you look for it, this is actually quite funny. Black, laugh out loud moments.
Dafoe’s Max Shreck is a frightening, odious, sinister creature.
Barely human, feral.
Malkovich also memorable as the damn-the-difficulties Murnau.
For film buffs, this is fantastic.

Moloch - 2022 - 7/10

Horror outing finds rural inhabitants encountering archeologists.
Out in the bog, diggers find a body, then a string of bodies.
All females, throats slit, going back centuries.
Of course the educated outsiders are thrilled. For locals, concern mounts daily.
As do weird sightings, home break-ins, and superstitious legends, disguised yet celebrated.
Folk horror, reminiscent of recent films with similar themes.
Skeptics may say derivative.
If curious, I’d suggest watching cold, as one or two spoilers reveal every single late twist.

Southbound - 2015 - 6/10

Horror anthology dosed with the surreal.
Opening sequence is strongest and sets the tone.
Two men, covered in blood, roar down desert highway.
They are caught in a time loop, similar to Triangle (2009), which permits “things” on horizon to catch them.
That sequence hands off to the next, three female musicians (young and leggy) who get a flat tire.
As if by chance, a car conveniently arrives and offers a lift.
Obviously, those females don’t know a basic horror rule: DO NOT CLIMB INTO STRANGERS’ CARS.
Story hand-off transitions are OK, but resolutions for each tale are weak or absent.
This is a “keyhole” view of transient types and misdeeds in southwestern badlands.
Expect no explanations and you might enjoy better.

Swamp - 2021 - 7/10
AKA - Topi // Топи

A cabin of Muscovites rides the train into the Arkhangelsk district.
Destination, Topi (the Marshes), where stands a monastery with allegedly healing properties.
One of the passengers has cancer, one is running from criminals, another is the ultimate hunter and spreader of human misery … a reporter.
Outside the forlorn rural station, only one notices a billboard laden with missing person flyers.

Two minutes in, their chauffeured car suffers a horrific accident.
While everyone walks away, I wonder if they have just entered Purgatory.
The monastery is deserted, the nearby village is dying, overhead skies are crimson.
Villagers they encounter are taciturn and secretive.
Horror is the backbone of this short series, but there are religious elements and parapsychology.
Not a traditional supernatural foray, there is too much mysticism in this, and it may be “too Russian” for many.

Don’t Move - 2013 - 6/10

When will people learn? And these are adults. Don’t mess with the Ouija board.
By the opening shot, they have already conjured darkness.
The survivors’ slim hope seems to be … don’t move, be as quiet as possible.
Brutal, gory Horror short dispenses with characterizations and backstories.
Potent appetizer for your Fright Night.

Slither - 2006 - 6/10

Campy alien invasion yarn that mines Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, Night Of The Living Dead, Alien, and too many other films to reference.
Meteor lands in woods outside small Southern town (filmed in Canada), except said meteor is not empty.
In a burg stuffed with rednecks and mush mouths, the “invader” picks the first curious human.
From then on, the campaign of conquest and expand launches.
Earth is doomed!
Dialogue runs savage funny, insensitive, crude. Political correctness monitors - run!
Gore - slime - children in danger (ain’t no marines in this, either) - not enough nudity - orifice seeking slug-like invaders - and unforgettable scenes of a 'bout to bust mommy and tentacle sex.
Would rank this a point higher, except the jokes and invention flagged near the finish.

Dracula: Prince Of Darkness - 1966 - 6/10

“Do not go to Carlsbad,” warns the priest. “If you do, by all means avoid the castle.”
And do they listen? Do foolish turistas ever listen?
Of course they end up in the sumptuous castle!
A waiting servant makes sure there is hearty food, and plenty of wine.
Hammer film boasts the handsome production values, as well as females in sheer gowns.
Christopher Lee says nothing, though he is imposing throughout.
Not a real shocker, but an admirable outing.