Vultural

The Last Bus - 2021 - 6/10

Likeable crowd pleaser should ring with the geriatric set.
Thomas sets off from Scotland for Lands End by bus. Make that buses.
Tom travels light: briefcase, some currency, Scotland transit pass.
Along the way we glimpse slices of his history, his wife and child.
Not much, though. Very little. Yet enough to realize his is the classic road trip.
15-20 minutes in, I suspect what is in his briefcase, and so will you.
The film panders to a nonexistent world, where young onlookers are mostly quiet and respectful and curious.
It is also WOKE informed, which I shrug at (woke folk aren’t going to watch this, anyway).
As in Mr. Turner (2014), Timothy Spall sports a frowning pout much of the time.
A tired crutch, and Spall is a better actor than this.

Houdini & Doyle - 2016 - 6/10

Escape artist and Sherlock creator solve crimes along with a female Scotland Yard inspector.
Fun, but not remotely historically accurate.
Doyle and Houdini have ongoing disputes over spiritualism, some episodes are borderline absurd, and the parade of “guests" grows strange, indeed.
Fans of Murdoch Mysteries ought to enjoy as H & D strongly resembles that show.
On the plus side, this series seems to be a one-off. If only more shows were thus.

Truly, Madly, Deeply - 1990 - 7/10

As in, do you love me truly, madly, deeply?
When cellist Jamie dies, partner Nina is inconsolable.
Would that he could return.
Only then, well, fulfilled dreams are seldom what one expects.
Juliet Stevenson and Alan Rickman totally believable as characters, as a couple.
Wonderful little film, haunting, poignant, about the flame of love that burns and burns.
Although living with a spectre has limitations.
The sun ain’t gonna shine anymore.

Northern Soul - 2014 - 6/10

Companion film to documentary Northern Soul: Living For The Weekend.
This opens as the scene seems near its zenith. Wigan Casino, “the” dancehall, is many miles away, however.
Drugs, primarily amphetamines, are a given (dancing till dawn) and dealing is a major subplot.
A secondary plot is tracking down obscure RnB 45s, or figuring out what mystery track a DJ is playing.
There is also a love - infatuation - story. Male bonding. Dance numbers.
The film suffers from a little bit of this, a little bit of that,
Really, the viewer unaware of the Northern Soul period might have trouble connecting the links here.
Fine soundtrack of lost Hard Soul music.
Enjoyable, though it meandered.

Horse Latitudes - 1975 - 6/10

If you cannot win a race, or achieve a feat, how about you fake it?
Our seaman, Donald, wants to be the first to sail single handed around the world.
Instead of actually sailing, he parks in the S. Atlantic “horse latitudes” and sends in falsified position reports.
He reckons without the isolation and the torrid heat.
Months in, he is losing his sanity.
This excels with the ennui, the lethargy of enforced idleness, though I never had much feel for the character.
Based on a true story.

Arachnophobia - 1990 - 6/10

Oliver Douglas moves from New York to Hooterville … oops, wrong story.
Dr. Ross moves his family from the metropolis to rural California.
He doesn’t blend with the locals, though family does fine.
Worse, by far, is a spider infestation, and he has a phobia of arachnids.
Wickedly funny horror comedy, bolstered with a strong cast, and plenty of cobwebs and spiders.
Not to mention John Goodman as the exterminator, in an over-the-top role that feels patently real.
Spiders, mmm, if you suffer a “thing” about spiders, there are a lot of spiders.

Pumping Iron - 1977 - 7/10

Overlooking Stay Hungry (1976), this is where Arnold started his ascent.
While supposedly a documentary on bodybuilding, one gets the feeling several of the participants are “acting” in front of the camera. This seems especially true with Schwarzenegger and Ken Waller.

Most of this is hugely entertaining, watching the men train for the upcoming Mr. Universe and Mr. Olympia.
One does get a feel for the more innocent rivals.
Then there are the strategies, diets, trash talk, behind the scenes.
Arnold already radiates charisma, though it would be another five years before he blew up to the masses.

Pieces - 1982 - 6/10
AKA - Mil Gritos Tiene la Noche

Gory thriller that navigates between Giallo and Slasher.
Opening has dear mom watching her son work a jigsaw puzzle. Of a nude model.
Mom wrecks his puzzle and junior finds a nearby axe.
Decades later, an unseen, gloved stalker starts solving that nudie puzzle.
By chopping up a bevy of college beauties.
Mounting body count of Euro lovelies baffles police!
Though set in Boston, filmed in Madrid.

There is a valuable audio commentary with Jack Taylor.
Most of the discussion is not about this film, but rather Jess Franco, with whom Taylor made eight films.
For Franco fans, this will be great.

Backbeat - 1994 - 6/10

Ballsy retelling of the Beatles’ baptism of fire in Hamburg.
This focuses on the Stu / John relationship, then Stu / Astrid.
Gritty throughout, with nightclubs, bars, brothels, vermin infested digs.
Music is recreated by a pool of 1990’s talent, and is edgy and punky.
Paul is given short shrift in this (which he has commented on), while George and Pete are virtually nonexistent.
Astrid has praised the portrayal of Stuart, and their relationship as shown.
Ian Hart memorable as John, he has played Lennon three times now.
One of those docu-dramas which, I think, is mostly accurate, and worth seeking by Beatle fans.

Straight Line Crazy - 2022 - 7/10

Theatrical production of Robert Moses, emperor of inner city expressways and urban renewal.
First half deals with early, somewhat idealistic days negotiating with powerful Long Island estates, the Vanderbilts, the Morgans, etc … Then wheeling-dealing with Governor Al Smith.
Second half is the attempt to ram a project through Washington Square (the Village), where he encounters ferocious, organized resistance spearheaded by ***Jane Jacobs.
Moses’ legacy endures to this day. The thought that road congestion can be solved with more roads, wider roads.
Understanding urban planning might enhance enjoyment of this play, though it is not necessary.
Ralph Fiennes casts a spell as the visionary who grows entrenched, then autocratic.

Stung - 2015 - 5/10

Poor marks on IMDB should have warned me, but a glowing review on DVDTalk tempted the sucker in me.
Two caterers drive into rural nowhere. Birthday party for elderly WASP’s in a crumbling manor house.
Lance Henriksen is the most recognizable player.
WASP’s are soon attacked by wasps, big ones, maybe three or four inches long.
Them what gets stung gives birth to a fresh wasp, roughly the size of the host body.
Clearly, you want to keep pissed off insects near field mice and away from sumo wrestlers.
Plot is predictable, the pace grows boring, and the script has more flaws than invention.
There are a decent amount of meals (victims) at the party, but most get killed within three minutes.
One suspects filmmakers could not imagine different ways of killing, so that’s their fault.
Also, numerous small sized, crafty wasps are easier to hate and fear than laughable jumbos.
Then again, real wasps likely don’t take direction well. Again, blame the filmmakers.
To be fair, I was drinking, yet that didn’t make this retread any more entertaining.

The good ole days …
Growing up, our home had no A/C during summer.
We had three TV channels: ABC, NBC, and a static filled CBS.
FM was not around. AM was Top 40, Country, EZ Listening or Religious.
Movies. Two theaters, one screen each. One theater was constantly shut down for showing after-hours porn.
Internet? Are you kidding?
The military filled ranks with a draft.
At night, the overhead clouds often turned bright orange as molten iron slag was dumped into the river.
To earn enough money to enroll in college, I worked the coal fields. Strip-mining. I worked with the explosives crew, where we blew the tops off mountains to access the vein of coal.
Black lung? What’s that? Most everyone smoked 3 packs a day, anyway.
When we went on picnics, we always brought Jarts. The most lethal toys ever. Banned now.
It was what is was, certainly not golden.
Nobody knew what tomorrow would bring.
Still that way.

Rolling down the frozen aisle, then saw Ben & Jerry’s were BOGO (buy one, get one free).
Bought a dozen pints. Told Zelda they were out of carrots.

Alligator – Elongator’d (Alligator - 1980) - MusicEd921

Filesize = 9.8 GB, Video = 1920 X 1080p AVC, Audio = 221 kbps AAC, 2-Channel Stereo. No Subs.

Some give this flick a cursory view, then dismiss as a Jaws knockoff.
Please! All the “Jaws” films combined would never be a funny as this.
From the opening gator rasslin’ done gone wrong, to Harry Lime Lives, this is packed with sly moments.
Of course, you have to pay attention, and you have to be knowledgeable of the in-jokes.
The alligator in the sewers is almost as fearful as the rat in the toilet, rising up to take a bite during a an exposed moment.
Characters seem basic tropes, though the baddies are especially well played.
I did not notice most the additions to this (meaning, good job), and I have viewed the original frequently.
(My wife and I had a weirdly memorable experience in the Everglades with dozens of alligators, in an era that was more free range than today.)
Note: Filesize is large, though not immense. I would burn and keep, but cannot. Those who can, this is a great, old school, Saturday popcorn movie.

Thunderball: Warhead Edition - Rangerkris

Thunderball was a fine followup to Goldfinger. The style and tone of the film were peerless, and it was the last Bond in which Connery seemed committed.
Over the years, however, there were complaints of sluggish pacing.
In Thunderball Warhead, Rangerkris cut the reruns and the redundant, and jolted the tempo.

Video - Nice editing, good flow from scene to scene. Noticed noise or artifacts in background sky while Emilio Largo and Fiona Volpe were skeet shooting (58.47). Checked my DVD, nothing there.

Audio - Quality, two channel stereo, thought the stereo seemed non-existent except during action climaxes. Then the range was loud and wide. So dynamic, in fact, that headphones came out to spare non viewers in the room.

Narrative - As designed, Thunderball Warhead propels ahead like Fiona’s blue Mustang. Plot held together, but first time viewers might have assumed there were goofs. When Domino first calls 007, James Bond, there was no introduction before that. Later, Felix and Bond took barely one minute of screen time to locate the missing Vulcan bomber. The climactic underwater battle was wisely trimmed, while staying coherent.

Enjoyment - A bit uneasy here. Thunderball is easily one of my favorite Bond movies. I saw it at the theater when it was released, owned it on VHS, Laserdisc, and DVD. Connery was superb in this. The pacing was lethargic at times, which I chalked up to rush release and padded script. Rangerkris’s removals of spa scenes, the Nassau hotel, and the hunt for the Vulcan definitely accelerated the story, but also cast a movie-of-the-week feel.
Not to confuse anyone, I did enjoy this edit, and it was well crafted. Easily recommended to action fans, Bond buffs, especially to those who normally punch the fast-forward button. You won’t do that it this one.

Silent Hill: Christopher’s Story - Spence

Filesize = 413 MB, Video = 720 X 480p mkv, Audio = 192 kbps AC3, 2-Channel stereo. No Subs.

This focuses on Christopher’s search, or rather his futile search.
The narrative is choppy, the dialogue incomprehensible at times.
Overall, this is frustrating, especially, I imagine, for newcomers unfamiliar with the series. Then this edit will make little sense.
Unless – you regard this as a dream.
Which is what I did midway. Returned to the beginning, rewatched.
That method totally worked for me. Sean Bean’s character is either hallucinating, or is delusional, or psychotic.
True, for other viewers, this edit makes a cheat sheet for a favorite RPC … oops, I mean character.
Good example of a fledgling editor, this work is still available and worth studying by aspiring editors.

Dracula: Restored - Billy Batson

Old and creaky, the 1931 Dracula bears more cobwebs than Carfax Abbey. It never really escaped its West End production roots. Lugosi’s riveting count more than compensated, as did terrific photography by Freund, and outstanding set design which set the template, still resonating in Horror films to this day. The second half of the movie is deadly slow, however.
To quicken the pace, Billy Batson rearranged scenes slightly and added material from the Mexican version of the film.

Video - This is the nicest, sharpest version of this film I have seen. Superior to my laserdisc and DVD circa 1999. Credit excellent source material and attentive editing. Deft work here, though I noticed a repeated scene (56.25 - 1:07.15) where Mina removes her wolfbane necklace.

Audio - As to be expected, mono mix. Sound level extremely low, and I wish Billy would have amplified this. Not a complaint, I just had to boost it. No Glass score, by the way.

Narrative - No substantial change here. Second half of the film still moves slower than the first, but the pace is no longer glacial. Scene modifications definitely helped.
This makes a great alternative to the classic version.

Star Wars Last Jedi: Coward’s Cut (The Last Jedi) - JXEditor

Straight off, this edit trims over an hour from the original.
The narrative is sleek, but often consists of scattered big moments.
The pace is propulsive, and if you simply want a condensed version, this is OK.

Filesize = 1.2 GB. Video = 1280 X 720p AVC . Audio = 128 kbps AAC. 2 Channel stereo. No subs.

There is no cutlist either here or on FE, but the editor does offer his vision elsewhere.
https://www.firemerkstudios.com/cowardscut
Confession. After touring elsewhere, I had anticipated seeing a dark overhaul of the film.
Thus, I watched with expectations of a reconfiguration. Not to be.

Bill And Ted’s Tubular Adventure - Wayne Workman

Way cool, junior
Well thought out and executed “Cliff’s Notes” version of the duo’s adventures.
Perfect for school slackers who only have fifteen minutes to devote to film class.
A bit jumpy at times, but not too much so. Besides, one is literally propelled at breakneck speed to pay much attention to tiny flaws.
There is a palpable joie de vivre electricity in this edit which is infectious.
I like to imagine John Wick watching this during his more thoughtful moments.

You Won’t Be Alone - 2022 - 7/10

Nevena, newly born, catches the eye of Maria, a centuries old “witch”.
Her mother agrees to hand over her daughter once she turns 16, then hurries to hide Nevena.
As if anything can be hidden from a witch.
After 16 years, the witch claims the girl, who has been hidden in an isolated cavern.
Much of the film follows the girl, who is given shape-shifting ability, as she tries to understand and fit in with humans.
Supposedly set in 1800’s Macedonia, this could just as easily be set in 1400’s.
There is a timeless, pre-Industrialization quality throughout.
Some have equated this with The VVitch (2015), but it is actually closer to Hagazussa (2017).
For devotees of folk horror, this is indispensable.

The Snake Girl And The Silver-Haired Witch - 1968 - 6/10
AKA - Hebi Musume to Hakuhatsuma // 蛇娘と白髪魔

Sayuri is being adopted. By her own parents!
Owing to a mix-up at birth, another child was switched in her place.
No matter, now she has a big sister.
Who is completely alarmed about being displaced by the blood child.
Sayuri cannot help but notice the mask her sister wears, and – wait – is her back covered in scales?
She soon realizes her sister is a snake, in league with a murderous witch.

Horror gem boasts frightful costumes, wild optical effects, and hundreds of snakes.
Locked rooms, experiments in the basement, a mother losing her mind add to a complicated plot.
A bit campy now, though I wonder if children saw this during its run.
I can imagine it unsettling them.

The Devil’s Double - 2011 - 7/10

A soldier gets coerced into becoming Uday Hussein’s (Saddam’s eldest son) body double.
Bit of cosmetic surgery, teeth implant, behavior training and voilà!
Soon the poor sap is viewing torture, rapes and dodging assassination attempts.
Dominic Cooper quite good as both flamboyant, maniacal Uday, and the more subdued Latif.
Filmmakers wisely chose to craft this as a full bore gangster saga.
Shootings, a gory evisceration, substance abuse, rampant sex, all during the tine of Gulf War 1991.
Opulent looking production, though docs reveal many of the visual tricks used.

To The Lake - 2019 - 6/10
AKA - Epidemiya // Эпидемия

Apocalypse fans!
A lethal virus blazes through Moscow. Fleeing citizens spread the plague across Russia.
Where’d this come from? Is the spread planetwide?
The opening episodes are furious, and a template on how to render chaos and violence.
Deadlier than the virus are military and paramilitary suppressor units.
Only then the story settles into following two families as they drive into rural oblivion for lake property.
Along the way, this becomes an adventure each week. Threats, obstacles, enduring each other.
Personality clashes border on melodrama.
In later episodes pace is definitely steadier and the conclusion is somewhat hazy.
Second season is out there, of which I am indifferent. If the story concludes, then maybe.

The Lonedale Operator - 1911 - 6/10

Father ailing, his daughter (15 year old Blanche Sweet) takes over the whistle stop telegraph office.
And receives the payroll, from the weight of the bag, in gold.
Never noticing two shiftless vagabonds rolling out from under the train.
Trapped young girl, bag of gold, desperadoes!
Within a minute, I recognized this as an earlier version of The Girl And Her Trust (1912).

Watching this solved an enduring childhood mystery for me.
From age 3 to 12, I was always shipped off to my grandparents for a month in the summer.
This was the old C&O line and the trip took about 5 hours.
(Yes, I cannot imagine current parents sending unaccompanied tots off on trains or planes.)
The train platform had baggage wagons. Huge steel wheels, the bed three feet off the ground.
Why so high, I always wondered.
In this short, one saw trunks and boxes being shoved off freight cars onto “same height” baggage wagons.

Secrets Of China - 2015 - 5/10

Maddening three part BBC doc ought to be called “Billie Takes Selfies In China”.
Presenter Billie JD Porter whines, complains, pouts, acts disrespectful, and helps us understand China.
Evidently, she did no homework before filming began. Not even a few Mandarin words.
In one episode, she visits a boot camp for kids failing in school because of attitude problems or games addiction.
Billie encourages one of the girls to fight on, resist!
Yet Billie will return to her posh life soon enough, and her advice could be disastrous if any students follow it.
Another episode focuses on marriage mania, and the insane money involved.
Third show displays the widening gap between poor and ultra rich. Hey, didn’t Mao lead a revolution?
Billie pretends to embrace and commiserate with common folk, but she is obviously drawn to glitz and wealth.
Interesting points are made throughout, though the self absorbed host is distracting and culturally clueless.