Vultural

Ice Station Zebra - 1968 - 6/10

Big cast, slow-moving twaddle
After a satellite crashes in the Arctic, a US submarine is dispatched to rescue a British contingent there.
Soviet MiG fighters are also enroute. Rescue? Please. The satellite is an early spy satellite.
The effects are impressive, lots of model work.
The story drags, characters are too muddled, there is little tension for a thriller.
At two and a half hours, a cut of thirty minutes would have helped.
Based on an Alistair MacLean novel, although not as popular as other film adaptations.

The Last Voyage - 1960 - 6/10

Ocean liner disaster flick slots somewhere between A Night To Remember (1958) and Titanic (1997).
Robert Stack leads a sizable cast, although Woody Strode steals the movie as the engine stoker.
An aging vessel, on its final Pacific crossing, suffers and explosion and begins to leak.
Stack’s wife is trapped between steel, and the waters rise closer.
The narrative shifts between crew and passengers in rapid paced Hollywood adventure.
George Sanders quite good as the captain who refuses to accept events.
Predictable, although not as hammy as the highfalutin nonsense in 1997.

Wild Reeds - 1994 - 7/10
AKA - Les Roseaux Sauvages

Coming of age * film of three (perhaps four) students
Cramming for their baccalauréat, exploring (questioning) their sexuality, worrying about their futures.
A constant background presence is France’s ongoing war with Algeria, and the upcoming, mandatory service.
Held my interest throughout, and I generally dislike films with children or young adults.
These are intelligent, and either intellectual or self-aware.

• Coming of age? I know adults in their 60’s who are still adolescents. Many never grow up.

Stop Nyqvist - 2022 - 6/10
AKA - Pysäyttäkää Nyqvist

Heads at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs want a patsy to blame for their own blunders.
Foolish intern Nyqvist is pushed to the head a newly founded secret service.
Thing is, Nyqvist is motivated and earnest. A go-getter.
Hoping to impress his Finnish bosses, he sinks a sub!
International crisis #1. Then he realizes he has a highly proficient assassin on his team.
Later, two assassins!
A Swedish hitman arrives to whack our hero.
Eight part series spoofs espionage thrillers, though I confess some Finland references eluded me.

Shanghai Fortress - 2019 - 5/10
AKA - 上海堡垒

I suppose this fulfills lesser ambitions.
A Chinese spaceship brings back a self-replicating energy source, Xianteng.
Coal, gas, oil, all replaced and humanity experiences an new Renaissance.
Until Alien invaders arrive, seeking Xianteng, and laying waste the planet.
Of major cities, only Shanghai holds out, but for how long?
Wild SciFi actioner will be high octane java juice for fans of Transformers, Independence Day, Matrix Revolutions.
Plenty of major CGI conflicts, interspersed with unrequited romance storylines.

The Princess Comes Across - 1936 - 6/10

On the trans-Atlantic liner, Mammoth, a blackmailer shakes down a bandleader and a Swedish princess.
Then he is found dead. By the princess, who is a fraud. While the bandleader has a prison record.
What else? An escaped murderer is a stowaway, on a vessel with five police inspectors.
Most of the comedy is from Lombard who does not overplay her silly schtick. Instead, she channels Garbo.
MacMurray shows a tougher edge, which suits him, and feeds the mystery angle.
Excellent old-fashioned whodunit, superbly shot, especially complicated shadow scenes.

Various (Editor: Keenan, Vince) - Noir City Annual 15

Fifteen years already. Wow. And the contents continue to mine a rich vein.

Straight off, what I want, new discoveries. Argentinian Noir. Films from Viñoly Barreto and Fernando Ayala. Each one tempting enough to start me hunting.
“Merry X-Mas” does a nice overview of Cover-Up (1949), which I have seen. A light-hearted, breezy Noir, and well suited to Christmas.

Three articles veer into music for or tinged with Noir. One profiles Paul Roberts, composer, musician, artist. Another interviews Melissa Errico on her recent release (for me, her voice needs another decade of cigarettes and alcohol). The third is of a self-promoting wannabee.

Profiles include William Holden, Stanley Baker and Veronica Lake. I have Lake’s autobiography, and can attest that the article is concise and accurate.

Harry Popkin – never heard of him. Yet, he built an empire of boxing, burlesque and B-films, including D.O.A.

Stateside, his films can be tough to track down, but the essay on Claude Chabrol lists some of the highlights to place on your want list.

Note: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. These Noir City Annuals do not stay in print long. The limited number print run only benefits aging aficionados and collectors. Publisher Eddie Muller really ought to offer p.o.d. reprints for future generations.

Defending Your Life - 1991 - 7/10

That’s the way it goes sometimes. One moment you’re rolling easy down Life’s Highway, the next moment you’re dead and in Judgment City.
Say where? Daniel is in the waiting zone, where he will be deemed eligible to ascent to Heaven, or back to Earth.
Hit and miss Albert Brooks comedy is one of his best, with plenty of jokes and compelling concepts.
Meryl Streep, especially luminous and likeable here, is an enlightened soul, all but predestined.
Brooks, on the other hand, is one of us. A schlub.

The Scarecrow Of Romney Marsh - 1963 - 6/10

The right Reverend Syn, minister by day, rebel leader by night.
Pre-Colonial Revolution, the English needs recruits. If none volunteer, they are impressed.
Meaning, forcibly enlisted.
Opposing them are the masked Scarecrow and his renegade team.
What ensues is high adventure, plenty of action (no bloodshed), and a series of cat n mouse chases.
Patrick McGoohan dominates throughout and is unforgettable, both as the enlightened minister to his village, and as the rather frightening Scarecrow.
Warning: The official DVD / BluRay is ridiculously overpriced!

The Wet Pit Below - 2047 - 4/10

Clara and Fred, along with Sue and Butch, are driving cross country.
They plan to make it BIG in Hollywood. Major film, indie film, TV or porn.
While Clara and Fred milk the snake enroute, Sue and Butch trail in the second car.
Less groping and stroking from this couple, who serve to narrate proceedings.
In Arkansas, a repo man seizes one vehicle, so they detour off the main route to avoid another seizure.

Where their vehicle breaks down in the abandoned hamlet called America’s Dream.
Clara and Fred (cousins or siblings?) find a cobwebbed house with clean sheets.
Meanwhile, Sue and Butch explore the basement, finding a damp stone pit with ladder rungs.
Descending – for five padded minutes! – only to find a second well, and where their incessant talking rouses the dreaming deity below.

Dread Cthulhu!
Who does not like its naptime disturbed. Worse, is infuriated that it is in Arkansas.
Grade-D sleazy mess from the Pepper Brothers has dismal production values, repetitive Casio score, and what can only be called “experimental” camera work.
Acting talent? Please! Although Clara (Misty Moss?) is easy on the eyes and noisily enthusiastic.
For Cthulhu completists who think they’ve seen it all, a shoddy Cthulhu porno.

Da Killa - 2002 - 6/10

Early on, a Juju priest concocts a devil’s blend and infuses a hefty bag of reefer.
Why? Who knows? Perhaps his fetish doll knows. For the doll sees all.
The narrative shifts to Leroy, over-stressed at home, hurrying to work.
Where, street-side, he costumes up and advertises for the local vacuum store.

Life, for Leroy as for many of us, quickly sours.
He is fired, turns to crime, drinks, gambles, cheats with women.
Then gets ahold of that tainted weed, which turns him into a fiend.
What follows is a murderous rampage.

Despite being an ultra-low budget production, this is a lot of fun.
Many of the sequences are laugh out loud hilarious.
Almost everything occurs in the Como neighborhood of Fort Worth.
The cast seem to have been recruited on-site.
Music, a blend of hip-hop and synth, is great, although dialogue is often indecipherable.
Somewhere, Rudy Ray Moore is laughing his ass off.

Note: JD is still selling copies at Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/jd.jimmersoniv/)

Talk To Me - 2022 - 7/10

Horror outing, a variation on the Ouija board, is more than a little depressing.
Mia and friends play “talk to the hand” game.
In this case, the hand (ceramic or stone) is a portal to the afterlife.
And all the sadness, resentment or hatred that may lurk there.
Nevertheless, youth is fearless.
Mia, however, is profoundly damaged. Emotionally bereft, grieving without release.
She is also a jinx, a pariah, infecting others in her circle.

ThirTEEN Terrors - 2014 - 6/10
AKA - Phuean Hian… Rongrian Lon

When she drops a book, the student looks into her desk and sees the head.
Seeing the head means she is cursed to die!
Thirteen stories set in the high school realm.
Pranks gone bad, casual curses that turn deadly, bullying.
Actors are youthful, most are OK with primal emotions.
Jump scares predominate, sometimes the director belabors a point.

A favorite episode is set in Dance class, where the girls are anxious about the mannequin.
The doll does seem to get around a bit.
And why, oh why, oh why, do students break into school at night?
Viewers with long memories will recognize the sly nod to classic Twilight Zone.

From Dusk Til Dawn - 1996 - 6/10

Following a botched robbery, the Gecko brothers race towards Mexico.
With them, hostages.
So where do they hide? Titty Twister truckstop, a lair of vampires.
Horror actioner is off the charts mayhem.
Bullets, buckets of blood, a frightening beautiful Salma Hayek.
Add Clooney for the females, Tarantino for his fanclub.
Runs outta steam late, dissipating the energy and frenzy.

Frankenstein - 1910 - 6/10

The good doctor discovers the secret of Life, which grows similar to a mushroom farm.
Too much time is spent of the creation, and Herr Frankenstein’s jubilant reactions.
Earliest version of Shelley’s novel is still worth a watch.
The creature, dressed in rags, is more agile than later tellings (and closer to the original).
Camera work very static, but the story moves along.
Library Of Congress offered a recent restoration, still battered, but better than others…
https://slate.com/culture/2018/11/frankenstein-1910-restored-library-of-congress-edison.html

The Ghost Bride - 2020 - 6/10

The Pan family are having hard times financially.
One solution is for daughter Li Lan to marry a recently deceased man from a wealthy family.
Down in the Underworld, dead son Tian Ching couldn’t agree more.
He lives a luxurious life, but wants an attractive consort.
Wait! Then there is a Heavenly Guard, trying to bring the corrupt son to Judgment.
Attractive costumes, imaginative sets, but the story is young fantasy.
Juvenile at times, awkward, swoony romantic. Better for young teens.

The Raven - 1963 - 6/10

Splendid cast, silly movie.
Rival magicians need no prodding to start bickering, arguing, finally dueling in a preposterous battle.
Richard Matheson, tasked with penning a script based on Poe’s poem, rewrote it as a comedy.
One watches for the stars: Karloff, Price, Lorre. Also for Lorre’s ad-libs and one-liners, which upset Karloff.
If you are in the mood, this nonsense may tickle.

It Came From Beneath The Sea - 1955 - 5/10

Our creature being, what appears to be, a gigantic octopus.
Blame radiation from nuclear testing in the South Pacific again.
Said radiation is also killing the natural prey, so Ole Octi starts heading towards people snax.
Arriving at San Francisco, where the producers flat drop the ball.
Look, there are tasty sea lions at Fisherman’s Wharf, squealing turistas jostling the Embarcadero.
Best, hundreds of convicts, eager to fight, out on Alcatraz!
Yes, yes, there is military business, with torpedoes and explosions, but this remains kinda dull.
Watch with a couple of six-packs, maybe a jumbo order of fish n chips.

Mothra - 1963 - 5/10
AKA - Mosura

Pint sized twins telepathically summon giant caterpillar to rescue them from greedy tycoons.
After what seems like ten hours later, said insect metamorphosizes into a gigantic moth (reference title).
Then proceeds to devastate Tokyo. Before that, talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk.
Big pile of whiffle. This put me to sleep decades earlier. So why rewatch? I need a brain transplant.
Watch any Godzilla instead. Shoot, watch Gamera.

Unwelcome - 2022 - 5/10

The city is too tough, too perilous, too much for Maya and Jamie.
Then, blessed saints alive, Aunt Maeve dies, leaving them a country home with woodlands.
There comes a price. Locals warn them to leave a daily portion for the wee folk.
“What, leprechauns!” scoffs Jamie.
More troublesome are the builders, shunned by the locals, who Jamie hires.
Two thirds in, this is a fair, slow burn horror flick.
Before nosediving straight into laugh out loud absurdity, making me think of Troll 2.
Dismal ratings warned me, the fool and his naïve hopes.

Horror Island - 1941 - 5/10

Aaarrr! Ahoy, mateys, reckon there be pirate’s gold out there on Morgan’s Island!
Young Bill, a college boy, owns a deserted rock off of Florida.
He acquires half of a treasure map that may, or may not, be authentic.
Who cares! He charts a vessel and ferries paying suckers on treasure hunts.
Typical B-film from Universal has assorted characters mixing mysteries, scares, yucks and romance.
The atmosphere stand outs. Solid choice for lovers of cheap quickies.
A favorite video of mine for late night dates, this usually yielded good results.

Beach Girls And The Monster - 1965 - 3/10

Zelda sees a listing for this at a nearby Mexican theater and exclaims, “Look, Jon Hall, Ramar!”
While surfer dudes catch the waves, beach bunnies keep getting slashed by a monster.
A monster who trudges the sand in a rubber suit, mind you.
The narrative is paper thin in this film of mostly surfing, dancing, music, murders, mystery.
Neither shocking nor satisfying.
Jon Hall’s last role (he also directs).
Zelda, a true Ramar fan, enjoyed more than I.

Death Curse Of Tartu - 1966 - 3/10

The preliminary guide has disappeared, the campsite is a mess.
Several of the archeology students are concerned and wonder what they should do.
“I know! Turn on the transistor radio and let’s twist!”

One thing for sure. They are trespassing on an old Seminole burial mound.
Cursed, by the way, from long gone medicine man, still haunting the site.
Ineptly acted, unless one appreciates screeching, with glacial pacing.
Most of the meals – oops, victims – are either stupid or arrogant, so good riddance.

Prisoner C33 - 2022 - 8/10

He refers to himself simply as “C33” to avoid malice and retribution.
His prison cell is beyond grim, “It needs a woman’s touch,” he tells his visitor.
The visitor? Something of a fabrication, his younger self. Healthier, stronger, glorious.
Banter is a barrage of quotes, clever phrases, epistles, brilliant lines.
The dialogue sparkles and bubbles like fine champagne.
Prisoner C33 and visitor are Oscar Wilde, the ruined man and the legend.
Toby Stephens magnificent in this one-man show.
Theatre junkies, Wilde fans, well worth your time.

A Pair Of Silk Stockings - 1918 - 5/10

Molly and Sam (Constance Talmadge and Harrison Ford) quarrel over money.
For her, money is for spending and enjoying. For him, let’s be sensible.
He tries to play a joke, it backfires. Tries another, and it backfires spectacularly.
Stuffy Silent comedy is hurt by unlikable characters across the board.
Despite those shortcomings, the 20 year old Talmadge and Ford have a charming rapport.
Akin to a sophisticated drawing room comedy (ala Noel Coward), it is too slow.
Print I saw was fairly battered, perhaps cut.