Vultural

Captain Ron - 1992 - 6/10

Milquetoast family inherits Clark Gable’s old schooner, the Wanderer, which needs work (box of matches?).
They hire the very shady Cap‘n Ron to sail the boat and them from Bermuda to Miami.
How many boozy situations and adventures can you envision?
Well, the writers and cast could concoct a lot, lot more.
This makes an OK family film, (a good stoner flick), and a laugh filled romp.
Just don’t think. “A shark ate your eye?”

The Fix - 2024 - 5/10

Don’t take drugs if you don’t know what they are!
Well, if you’re young, you don’t care. If old, you trust Big Pharma.
Near future, global air quality has deteriorated to toxic levels.
Breathing drugs are insufficient, and seem reserved for quality citizens.
TV model Ella accidentally quaffs a vial of an experimental test.
Her body begins to mutate, and all manner of characters begin pursuing her.
Overlook budget limitations, and a script that needs tightening.
A good dystopian SciFi buried by poor direction, mediocre cinematography.

The Mystic - 1925 - 6/10

Why hoodwink Hungarian villagers for loose change, when you can go to the States and fleece rich Americans?
Madame Zara and her Gypsy act arrive in New York and start the big swindle.

Aside from the swells at the private séance, there is a young heiress.
As well as her older guardian, quietly embezzling to play the stock market.
A Tod Browning film, this lacks the callous bite his output is usually steeped in.
Acting is fine, although one can envision Lon Chaney and Lionel Barrymore in key roles.

A Good Year - 2020 - 5/10
AKA - Een Goed Jaar

Erik receives an inheritance from an aunt. Large manor with weedy grounds.
It is in deplorable condition, estate taxes are horrendous, and Erik is recently fired for malfeasance.
He hires a ride from low-level con-man, Lenny.
And after they discover a hidden, and small, cache of old wine they hook up with restorer, Judith.
Yes, such contrived plotting leaves much to be desired.
The trio are soon offering bottles to high-end collectors, saying the vino is from Hitler’s stash.
The first victim? A mob boss (Russian, Eastern Europe). Things soon get complicated.
I was hoping this would resemble Faking Hitler, but it does not.
As a comedy, I never smiled once. Midway, I started rooting for the gangsters.

The Critic - 2024 - 7/10

Theatre critic Erskine and popular actor Nina Land, whom he skews mercilessly.
He is convinced she possesses “talent” yet fails to deliver, because she tries too hard.
Meantime, a change of leadership at the paper, means all jobs are uncertain.
Erskine is asked to tone down the malicious venom in his reviews.
“But that’s what readers want.”
Rather, he takes a more subtle course to deal with the new publisher.
Trenchant, manipulative thriller steeped in poison, set amidst the theatre boards.
A must for theatre fans, but a torturous ride.

The Bigamist - 1953 - 6/10

Once Eve and Harry start the adoption process, the secret starts to emerge.
After all, there are deep background checks.
Salesman Harry, dividing his time between San Francisco and Los Angeles, has things to hide.
Hey, reference the title!
Narrative shows how Harry came to have two better halves.
Marked as Noir, this is not. This has enough soap for a bubble bath.
Still, a good Ida Lupino film and, I think, the last feature she directed.

Bram Stoker Agus Dracula - 2011 - 6/10

Documentary focusing on Stoker’s Irish upbringing, influences, peers.
While Henry Irving is discussed, this is more Érie-centric.
The Wilde’s are given prominence, including the fact that Stoker “took” Oscar’s first love.
Stoker, embraced by neither Ireland nor England, considered himself an in-betweener or liminal writer.
The different point of view is especially compelling.
Likewise, Transylvania as substitute for Ireland. Folktales include Abhartach and graveyard ghosts.
Most of this is in Irish, make sure there are subtitles.
Stoker fans, an essential watch.

Dracula’s Bram Stoker - 2003 - 6/10

Nice overview of the theatre manager and writer of influential horror.
Childhood, college where he excelled, Friends with the Wilde’s.
London, working as Irving’s manager, meeting the cream of society and the intelligentsia.
In between, writing stories, essays, articles, and working on “The Un-dead” which would be renamed.
Numerous talking heads include Neil Jordan, Christopher Lee, Paul Murray, Leonard Wolf …
The Irving period is well represented, as is his marriage, and latent inclinations.
His slapdash writing of Dracula, jotting whenever he had a moment, resulted in the unique structure.

Madsack, Paul - The Black Magician

Artist Kukuma makes a deal with – well, please, not the Devil. After all, he has so many names, so many guises. And makes so many “arrangements”.
Kukuma, now rebranded as Aventino, is soon a fast-rising sculptor and artist, a powerful influencer of the sheeple. As ever was, followers love to be guided, told what to do, so they do not have to think, or attempt to think.
Chief opponent to Aventino is fellow artist and firm friend, Fiedler. Fiedler’s admiration is wary; he resists where others succumb.
Then there is the Chinese mannequin, who dispenses advice within dreams:

“Distrust the Black Magician who borrows the halo of virtue. He knows how to turn words beautifully and plays the wrong game with human destiny. Do not let yourself be blinded by the appearance of doing good, the devil has always been one who only leases pleasure and joy. From his black cornucopia he scatters gifts like gold and silver, but it is nothing but dust and ashes, just blinding people’s eyes.”

A subversive novel, darkly comical, written during the Weimar era (which nations seem to be foolishly repeating), reflecting events, and cannily predicting the misery caused when entrusting the strong man, the embittered soul, to take the helm of their fates.

A Whistle Stop Tour - 2024 - 6/10

Short where critic Kim Newman gabs about “The Whistler”.
Primarily the eight film series from Columbia, though he touches on the long running OTR series from Signal Oil, as well as the TV series, of which I was unaware.
Fans of the Dix series will find nothing new, nor is this an introduction to the series.
From a remastered box set, unavailable in the US.
I wasted time studying titles in Newman’s shelves.

Stoker - 2013 - 6/10

After India’s father dies in a horrible car accident, her wayward Uncle Charlie appears.
Swiftly establishes himself in the estate as if born to it, and just before subsequent disappearances.
Slow, very slow boil thriller of the smiling predator, recognized by the moody daughter.
That said, there are several cruel twists, and formula expectations were foiled.
In essence, while this goes nowhere, the journey itself is perverse.
Mia Wasikowska and Matthew Goode memorable as the distorted pair.
Nicole Kidman almost perfect as widowed Southern belle, all too eager to move on.

Night Angel - 1990 - 3/10

Out of the oozing swamp she emerges. Then, into negligees and onto power brokers.
Grade-D erotic thriller overlaid with succubus tropes, masked with a Lilith persona.
She slithers her way to Siren Magazine where she intends to pervert a mass readership to wickedness.
Actually, my encapsulation makes more sense than this inept attempt.
No one can act (why is Karen Black in this?), relying on facial grimaces, smirks and double-takes.
Low-light, softcore romping, latex prosthetics, and a script penned by a poodle.
Near the conclusion, there is a whacked out demonic orgy with effects and costumes that is imaginative.
If you must. English subs = https://subsource.net/subtitle/night-angel-1990/english/10057734

Turkish Detective - 2024 - 7/10

Young detective Suleyman transfers from London to Istanbul.
Where he finds, police handle things differently.
Exotic police procedural.
Series of two-part mysteries, that are anything but routine.
Connecting the series is an arc of Suleyman’s girlfriend, violently attacked in Istanbul.
Domestic affairs I could take or leave, but they seem to be a fixture now.

Conflict - 2022 - 7/10

“If a man’s got an open mind, he can’t keep anything in it.”
“… there’s one great incentive to human endeavour at work in the world today, that’s the incentive of the upper ten to keep things as they are.”
Heady, drawing room play set in the 1920’s, as the upstart Labour Party challenges the Tories.
Disparities referenced include class, wealth, gender.
This is post Great War England, pre-Depression, although there is mention of nations building armaments.
Lady Dare has a steady fella in Ronnie, but theirs is habit, not passion.
Then there is Tom, ex-schoolmate of Ronnie, whose pride and family were shattered by the War.
In time, the two become rivals in the constituency.
Very modern play, still resonates today, as our own disparities continue to widen and deepen.

The Maid - 2005 - 6/10
AKA - 女佣

Rosa arrives from the Philippines to Singapore.
Auspiciously, it is the seventh month.
The Gates of Hell yawn open, spirits with a grievance emerge.
Rosa’s employers try to explain, try to warn her.
The girl is ignorant, however, makes mistakes, offending the ghosts.
Packed with jump scares (that soon grow tiresome) and wooden acting.
Script boasts a few twists, will be OK for those who sample different horror themes.
English subs = https://subscene.cam/subtitle/3351398

Night Watch - 1973 - 6/10

Yes, it is raining. Pouring down hard, actually.
Nonetheless, Ellen spies a corpse in the empty house.
Sitting in a chair, throat slashed.
Police arrive. Body, what body? Conclude Ellen is overt-anxious.
And she is overwrought. Her husband, best friend, and doctor want to place her in “a home”.
Roiling thriller pushed by Elizabeth Taylor’s neurotic performance.
Probably overlooked, and worth watching.
English subs = https://subscene.cam/subtitle/3351397

Libido - 1965 - 6/10

Young boy Christian observes his father and blonde female in the mirror-lined pleasure room.
Just before dad murders her, then commits suicide.
Two decades of psycho-therapy later, Christian stands to inherit a wealthy estate.
Three days before that, he chooses to spend time in the haunted manor.
With his wife, always hovering, soothing, reassuring and reminding.
His guardian, who stands to maintain his status should Christian be institutionalized.
With the guardian’s oversexed, kittenish wife, provocative and rapacious.
This borrows heavily from Diabolique (1955), yet is a tight, claustrophobic thriller.
Innuendo laced dialogue includes = “She took your big piece with her little piece.”

Blind Lucky - 2015 - 6/10

Yes, with the right kit, you can jack any car you want.
Even one that belongs to a psychotic, vindictive criminal.
Who, in short order, has you suspended by chains.
And who opens up a new world of pain.
Nasty little short. Proof of concept for a feature.

Brossard, Chandler - Raging Joys, Sublime Violations

What is this? Midlife crisis? Evidence of substance overload?
About a decade after the Vietnam conflict ended, Brossard pitched his 2¢.

The initial chapter occurs on a cruise liner, where passengers obsess over sex.
Next section, a female sherpa and more sex. Sex and anatomy.

Should you hang with this, then by 6, he decides to satirize Vietnam vets. Satire is a mild word, since what he is actually dealing is sarcasm. For those with long memories, recall John Knowles and his thoughts about the protests of sarcasm.

Anyway, in #6, Brossard mocks the Vietnam vets, now stateside, still giddily raping and killing. This is a cheap shot as most of the US boys in Vietnam were drafted and never wanted to be there at all.

Chapter #8 may prove insufferable to non-history fanatics. Names roll out like a stultifying dirge. Dean Acheson, William Fulbright, Melvin Laird, Dick Helms, Dean Rusk, Henry Cabot Lodge, Ron Ziegler, Allen Dulles – John Foster Dulles. Enough? If you don’t know the names, you may miss the joke.

#15, Brossard tackles Kissenger. Now that was pretty funny, I must admit.
Otherwise, if you were born after 1962, this book will be an obscuro history farce.

I have enjoyed other Chandler Brossard books in the past. I enjoy and buy Corona \ Samizdat releases. This one, however, is a complete miss for me. It is already in the box of Salvation Army donations.
Oh yeah, the cover features penis art. Fitting, I suppose.

Last Warning - 1928 - 6/10

During the climactic moment, the lead actor and owner is struck dead.
Curtain lowered, the audience confused, the police arrive.
Whereupon the body disappears, and is never found.
The building is now cursed, and lies dormant for years.
Until a new producer decides to revive the doomed play, “The Snare”.
Lively shocker is full bore Gothic, undermined by melodramatic, hammy acting.

Tea War: The Adventures Of Robert Fortune - 2001 - 6/10

This may be of more interest to hardcore* tea drinkers.
By the 1840’s , the English were avid fanatics of the stuff, but felt restricted by China’s virtual monopoly.
Mr Fortune was sent to study techniques and collect as many tea plant varieties as possible.
He circumvented officials, inspectors, rules, laws, and customs, bringing a trove to India.
The documentary states this was one of the greatest thefts in history.
Unmentioned, were than most of the Chinese plants were unsuited to India and died.
Moreover, English preference was for brisk tea, meaning astringent or bitter. With milk.
Not Lapsang Suchong or Keemun.

Tea preference test. * Hardcore types answer 2.
1 – Herb tea or flowers 2 – Tea leaves.
1 – Teabags 2 – Loose tea leaves
1 – Mug or cup 2 – Really, please. Kettle, pot, cups and saucers.
1 – Sugar with milk or lemon 2 – Black

Finding Neverland - 2004 - 7/10

James Barrie, enduring another theatrical flop, wonders about his career … and marriage.
He strikes up a friendship with a youngish widow and especially her four children.
Observing the children at play, he is inspired to write “Peter Pan”.
Low-key story benefits from quiet performances by Depp and Winslet.
Later, I chatted with a few Barrie fans who were appalled at the historical inaccuracies.
Perhaps the less one knows, the better the enjoyment.
Endearing family film.

Dredd - 2012 - 6/10

Our dystopian future, the herd packed in squalid cities.
Crime is dealt with harshly by “Judges” who also act as jury and executioner.
A brutal slaying occurs in Peach Tree highrise.
Judge Dredd is dispatched with a rookie, one with psychic abilities.
The movie proves to be an extended, glorified shooter game.
Dredd ascends, killing a multitude of baddies.
Pretty good for what it is (far superior to the Stallone effort).
Producers let the DP go wild and it shows; this is a stylish actioner.
Expect blood.

Woman Of The Hour - 2023 - 7/10

“Alrighty now! After a few questions Miss Sheryl, you’ll choose your date. We won’t tell you that one of our contestants just happens to be serial killer Rodney Alcala. Our bad, oops.”

The meat of this Dating Game thriller is Rodney, photographer, charmer, ladies man.
One by one, females get taken by the soft-spoken praise. Strokes.
Chronology bounces a little, but there are always dates posted.
Sheryl’s story is more fictionalized, and pushes a misogyny message.
97% of men in this are lechers, liars, enablers.
Film entertaining, despite the preachiness.

In the mid 70’s, I drove to Los Angeles and enrolled at Cal State. I was on my own, poor and needed income. The student jobs center had various listings. Including contestant on “The Dating Game”. I couldn’t believe it!
I declined, although I gather plenty of theatre majors signed up. (Northridge was a TV feeder school.)
Instead, my first job was at a liquor store. It wasn’t “The Dating Game”, but it was memorable.

Siren: Erotic Ghost - 2004 - 5/10
AKA - Shin Yôjo Densetsu: Seirên // サイレン：エロティックゴースト

The heist went better than planned, with a sweet haul.
Enroute to the hideaway, the men rendezvous for supplies, except the female sees the cash.
They kidnap her. She’s cute, and will provide jollies while they wait.

Until the thieves begin dropping dead.
And cute or not, she can drain the wick from the stick.
Cheap V-film is predictable, spotty acting, shoddy photography.
English subs = https://subscene.cam/subtitle/3351082