Vultural

The Second Woman - 1950 - 6/10

Jeff is still haunted by the death of his beautiful fiancé.
Worse than that, it appears someone has it in for him!
Attempts on his life, whispers that he is suicidal, and an aura of death that accompanies him.
Worse to those or things he cherishes.
Noir / thriller / mystery is strikingly filmed, with good performances.
This does seem to hark back to earlier techniques and styles.
Nevertheless, a brooding Noir should you hanker for one.

Prince Of Darkness - 1987 - 5/10

For 2000 years, the priestly Brotherhood Of Sleep have watched over this glass cylinder of swirling evil.
Now, the time has arrived for Satan or his son to unleash his father and wreck the world.
A priest consults, not the Vatican, but a college professor.
Together, with a clutch of drafted grad-students, they prepare to square off.
Intriguing premise by Carpenter bounces off the rails quickly and irretrievably.
Pointless romance, tons of candles (who’s been maintaining those), contamination via discharge, an insidious army of street people (?), computes and electric power yet no phones, glass lasts 2000 years, the usual ‘where’s so and so?’
Shoddy schlock or disappointing garbage.
Oh, yes, and characters who have never viewed a single Horror film.

Bailey, Catherine - The Secret Rooms

Nonfiction.
Flimsy story, further undermined by padded, bloated writing, and whining by author.

Yes, there was a secret in the old manor house, but it was neither important nor memorable.
Perhaps to the original “secret keeper.”

The book moved quickly, but for every twenty pages about the Manners’ family, there would be another ten from the author lamenting how hard it was to locate files.
Real historians never wail about obstacles in the search. Bailey was one big pity party.

This book could easily have been a hundred pages shorter.
Even at the big revelation, I was, “This? This is the big scandal? I wasted hours for this?”
Spare yourself.

Danger Island - 1968 - 6/10

“Uh oh, Chongo!”
Professor Hayden and his young crew find sunken treasure in the waters near Tobanya.
They are soon overrun by pirates with Link (Jan Michel Vincent) kicked overboard for shark bait.
Although the boat is blown up, Link survives, is washed ashore, and is befriended by two other castaways.
Who inform him the island is replete with cannibals and headhunters. Not to mention predatory animals.
Pirates, cannibals, snakes, sharks, lions!
Fast moving serial, aimed at children, originally aired on the old Banana Splits show.
20-30 episodes, but only 5 minutes each. Easy to dip in and out.
Mindless, yet the stunts, action, settings, indicate a quality budget and good faith effort by Hanna-Barbera.

Conjuring Spirit - 2014 - 5/10
AKA - Chung Cu Ma

The adulterous landlord fixes up the apartment for his girlfriend, then murders her.
Thereafter, tenants of that apartment are killed, commit suicide, or flee in terror.
Enter writer Lan and her five-year-old son, Bi.
Strange occurrences begin almost immediately.
Low-level Vietnamese horror is fairly predictable, with a range of acting.
The lack of sophistication is the handicap and attraction here.
Bizarre plotholes, and also an interesting twist.

Hey Cartooners! - 2024 - 6/10

Loving biography of the Tri-State’s Mr. Cartoon, Jule Huffman.
Generations ago, after-school programming devoted to children was ubiquitous across the land.
Every city and burg had their Cousin Cliff, Uncle Willie, Captain Chesapeake, Ranger Jim …
Playful souls who know how to embrace children without talking down to them.
In between noise and camaraderie would be cartoons, a Stooges short, or Flash Gordon episode.
What is surprising is how good this documentary is for a regional show.
Early life is profiled, WWII service, aspirations (some dashed), and his iconic status as weatherman, children’s host, and ambassador of genuine good will.
Not the faux bonhomie of national celebrities.
This also shows the demise of children’s programming in the 1980’s, replaced by dubious adult fare (Oprah / Springer).
A much older me met Jule once at a function. Very gracious man.
A gentle reminder of what passed away in our gradual coarsening.

The Immigrant - 1917 - 7/10

Shipboard romance during the voyage to America.
Little Tramp befriends a young female and her mother.
Stateside, Fortune proves fickle, at best, yet has a heart.
Lovely Mutual film makes a perfect introduction for anyone curious about Chaplin.
Here, there is slapstick (from the earlier Essanay era), yet he is moving towards the more romantic (schmaltz) of the later features.
Lot of detail is packed in this, and Edna Purviance was always his most sympathetic leading lady.

The Villain - 1979 - 5/10

I have NEVER been in the proper mood to appreciate, let alone enjoy, this one.
Kirk Douglas is the meanest, baddest man in the West.
Ann Margaret the innocent daughter fetching a box of money for Pa.
Schwarzenegger the handsome here with the IQ of a tree stump.
A “comedy” based on Roadrunner cartoons, packed with cameos and comic relief.
Almost everyone tries too hard (Arnie actually seems to “get” his role).
Complete misfire across the board, save for Warner Brothers’ cartoon obsessives.

True To The Navy - 1930 - 5/10

Hash house waitress Ruby specializes in sailors. Flirting shamelessly and receiving gifts.
How much exchange is involved? With Clara Bow’s screen persona, a lot.
Getting even, the seamen send in their dashing shipmate (Fredric March?) who ignores her.
Thus, she falls for him!
Early Bow talkie is a RomCom, but lacks spark. The boom mic made her anxious, and March is no romantic.
It also looks cheap, as Clara’s star was dimming and Paramount was cutting her budget.
There is a Silent version of this in supposedly an excellent print.

Murder In Guadeloupe - 2023 - 6/10
AKA - Meurtres en Guadeloupe

The first corpse was on the roof, splayed out, covered with feathers.
Next body, feathers again. Lowered talk whispers a soucouyant.
The lead detective is an arrival from Paris; although born in the Caribbean, she had left years ago.
Her “assistant” is a retired commissioner, well-liked and accepted by the locals.
The settings are exotic, much mention is made of the era of slavery and racism, then there is the magic.
No romance in this, and the plotting is OK, weaving a tangle.
Locations and invention elevate this up from formula.

Die Herrin von Atlantis - 1932 - 6/10

Trying to control feuding tribes, two French Legionnaires get lost in the Sahara.
Who are then abducted and transported endlessly downstairs.
Based on the opening monologue, we are supposed to accept this as Atlantis.
Everything from attire to activities to kief abuse argue against this.
Then there is the ruling queen, Antinéa, who, aside from local music, dining, and a pet leopard, her main distraction is capturing and draining lost menfolk.
Frustratingly, this aspect is barely alluded to. Director Pabst of 4 years earlier was bolder.
Very slow “adventure” film. Check the sexier 1949 remake, Siren Of Atlantis.

The Capture - 2019 - 7/10

Imprisoned Gulf War soldier Shaun is released on trumped up charges after experts show his body-cam footage had been inaccurate.
Next beat, surveillance cameras show him assaulting and kidnapping his barrister!
Crack detectives are assigned, but Shaun, insisting on a frame, escapes and eludes.
While the detectives, the deeper they dig, the more questions they raise.
And they become increasingly aware of clandestine government agencies, meddling with camera footage.

Two season thriller mixes politics, security, espionage, and big data.
Almost everyone involved has tainted hands, justifying all manner of misdeeds.
A prescient series, frightening in ways, indicating how controllers and AI can “correct” realities.

Beginning Of The End - 1957 - 4/10

Saints preserve us! It’s a humongous grasshopper! And it has the munchies!
Do-gooder scientists try to ease world hunger, not by stemming population growth, but by making veggies bigger.
How? Radiation, folks! Yep, carrots the size of a truck, and radioactive! How cool is that?
Hold on, locusts have chowed down on radioactive grain and are now gigantic.
Had the same happened to humans … the possibilities for porn boggle.
As boys, my brother and I heckled this mercilessly. “Get Raid! Big can of Raid!”
The US military’s solution was even more asinine, but I won’t spoil for you curiosity hounds.
Dreadfully bad film, although it has its admirers.

All-Domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO) - 2024 - 6/10
AKA - Zen Ryoiki // 全領域異常解決室

A series of unexplained deaths (suicides) catches the eye of this tiny agency.
Their expertise is not with extraterrestrials, but rather the supernatural.
Gods. Demons. Supernatural entities.
This plays out like X-Files with logical, scientific explanations given.
However, deaths mount, and an obscure god claims responsibility via social media
Hiruko.
This program really goes into Japanese mythology, referencing numerous gods.
Enjoyable fantasy series. Might even tempt you investigate Japanese myths.

The Nature Of Love - 2023 - 7/10
AKA - Simple Comme Sylvain (Simple as Sylvain)

Sophia lives a stale marriage. Limited sex, twin beds, separate bedrooms.
She is a university professor, philosophy. Friends and family, erudite intellectuals, if narcissistic and opinionated.
Then, renovating the rustic chalet, she meets handyman Sylvain.

Who rocks her world, as well as her glands.
They go at each other with a violent physicality.
His family, working class, later sees him as a good match for Sophia.
After all, he’s an intellectual. He reads books. On UFO’s and the paranormal.
Opposites attract. In our 20’s, all of us do this. This couple is in their early 40’s, however.

Occult - 2009 - 6/10
AKA - Okaruto // オカルト

“The killer jumped into the ocean. His body was never found.”
Following the killings of tourists, documentary filmmakers interview witnesses and families.
Gradually focusing on a male survivor, whose back had been carved up by the killer.

And who now believes he is miraculously blessed, gifted with second sight.
He hears voices, sees “things”, receives messages.
While the film crew, chasing the slenderest of leads, scuttle down the rabbit hole.

Faux documentary Horror is part cinéma vérité, part found footage.
The rhythm seldom rises above a heartbeat for much of the film.
Main character Shohei Eno grows progressively weirder and more dangerous.

Creeper - 2023 - 6/10

He saw him, out in the backyard, under the bird feeders.
Then in the woods, when he was walking the dog. Only an old guy.
Yet, something disturbing about him.
Our protagonist then slinks home to wait (?).
Well-made short, long on style, crisp editing, storywise –– eh.

Red Rooms - 2023 - 7/10
AKA - Les Chambres Rouges

The murder trial is notorious. Observer Kelly Anne sleeps outside the courthouse so she can get a seat.
Night after night, week after week. Why? What impels her?
Unlike those who seem murder groupies, she is an enigma. She is also affluent.
The internet is a tool she uses better and keener than most.
A fashion model, a computer hacker, a successful gambler.
Again, she is a daily visitor at the heinous trial, taking in the accused and the bereaved.
For viewers, we are on the periphery, the blood and mutilation offscreen.
A maddening film, profoundly done.

The Tell-Tale Heart - 2008 - 7/10

Clearly, the old man, his employer, is prime time for Death’s knock.
The servant, impatient, frustrated, hastens the demise.
When inquiries are made, he is jovial. And he talks, and talks, and talks.
Early Robert Eggers work, based on Poe, makes a fine preview of his later feature films.

Time Table - 1956 - 5/10

The heist is well-executed. Goes of so well, in fact, it fooled me for several minutes.
The haul? Half a million. Cash. Huge amount for the 1950’s.
However, as with all clockwork plans, once time stutters, there’s an opening for coppers.
In this case, local police and, wouldn’t you know it, an insurance claims investigator.
Opening and closing pieces are best, in between, the energy tapers off.
A good cast, yet they seem hesitant. The “look” resembles flat, washed out early television.
I blame director / star Mark Stevens for the former, the cinematographer for the latter.
Felcia Farr as the smoky moll is the best thing in this, along with an early twist.

The New Avengers - 1976 - 6/10

Agents Purdey and Gambit flank the man in charge, John Steed.
Half dozen years after the collapse of the original series, the franchise is rebooted for the 1970’s.
More action oriented, rapid paced, and Joanna Lumley returns the female agent to lethal capability.
Earlier episodes possibly the best, as they are more straight-forward and less campy.
While this never gets as silly as the final years of the original, the plots do grow far-fetched.
The action is very good, Lumley and Hunt did their own stunts.
Ironically, the States found the series too violent for prime time.

Grabinski, Stefan - Orchard Of The Dead

First encounter with this author. Spectral tales, ghost sightings, haunted locations, and sexual bouts that go awry. So, a bit unbuttoned.

“At Sarah’s House” combines two of these themes, the unearthly and the erotic. After Wladek fails to aid a friend, wasting away toward death, he is soon drawn to the widow. A gorgeous, exotic creature, fragrant with an overpowering scent of desire.

The piece of land had a long, troubled history. Buildings erected there, burned down. Nevertheless, the location was fantastic! And outsiders, newcomers, never believed in old wives nonsense about the “Burning Ground”.

“Orchard Of The Dead” proves a gentle change. Set in the cemetery – children’s cemetery – where fruit trees flourish. Villagers dare not eat the fruit, though, for fear of where the tree roots tap.

As if from old habit, station master Szaten still walks from Ziklicz to Kniejow every night after his shift concludes. The latter station was long dismantled, yet Szaten has fond memories that he cherishes more than the day to day. “Szaten’s Engrams” is a haunting finish about the power of memory, the sadness of fading memories, and the lengths some will go to preserve memories.

Dishonored - 1931 - 6/10

She’s not afraid to live, nor is she afraid to die.
Overhearing her comment, the top man with the Austrian Secret Service recruits Marta.
Assignment: find out who’s working with the Russians during the Great War.
Dietrich, as ever, looks fabulous! She even nails a comic sequence as a simple-minded servant.
Victor McLaglen is another matter altogether.
He smirks worse than a Cheshire cat, and few would buy him as a Russian aristocrat.
Their scenes together show limited chemistry, and the narrative drifts into woozy melodrama too often.
Nevertheless, this is a Marlene Dietrich / Josef Von Sternberg film, so a must.
Blackie, the Paramount cat, steals every scene he is in.

Creeper - 2022 - 6/10

Jason’s home life is in tatters. Mom and abusive Dad spit violent arguments.
Money, no one is earning any money.
Terrible as that is, Jason is also being stalked, by one who seems straight from his sketchpad.
Short thriller of home invasion, rotten parents, and the intruder.

Di Filippo, Paul - Aeota

This burst out as a hard boiled detective yarn. Our PI, Vern Ruggles, works a missing husband case. The same could be said for him. As a husband, he’s missing. A failure as a spouse, and as a human being; divorce papers dog him down.
The dialogue and descriptions here are purple pulp, so excessively drawn you could start giggling.
Unfortunately, the plot shifts into time travel, alternative realities, the multiverse, whatever else pops up in our author’s noggin. Full bore silliness blooms large.
If you are a loser (guilty), you will read to the conclusion and question your common sense.