Vultural

Callboys: S01 - 2016 - 6/10

Black comedy about a quartet of male escorts.
Instantly likeable guys soon reveal themselves dimmer than a 2 watt bulb.
They decide to branch out and peddle a dildo line based on their own stalk.
Females, they assume, will flock so they order accordingly.
They design their own website, then an irresistible YouTube video.
Everything they attempt seems to “go to 11.”
The gods will have their jokes, yet they can be cruel, as well.

Rendez-Vous - 1985 - 6/10

Nina relocates from the country to Paris to further her acting dream.
Early on, she has a bit part in a comedy. By film’s end, the make or break role is minutes away.
In between, however, there are relationships with men.
The current boyfriend who accuses Nina of sleeping with all of Paris.
Then two roommates. The smitten one, who lands in “friend zone.” The other, a forceful stalker.
Early Juliette Binoche role. Despite sporadic nudity, she radiates little sensual steam.
Meaning, there’s no explanation why men are irresistibly drawn to her.

47 Meters Down: Uncaged - 2019 - 6/10

In name sequel to 2016’s In The Deep, (later renamed “47 Meters Down”.)
This time there is an underground city, hidden by the Mayans from the Conquistadors.
With rising sea waters, it’s now underwater. It had been undiscovered, until recently.
Four high school girls descend with 100” of air, not suspecting a great white shark might hunt down there.
Photography is murky, which is good and bad. The shark is an excellent creation.
The girls scream and screech throughout. The scriptwriter gave them moronic dialogue.
Superlatives abound. “Amazing!” “Crazy!” “Insane!” “Cool!” “Creepy!”
It’s like the writer hates females, so he made them so stupid viewers would cheer on the shark.
Passable waste of time.

300: Earth And Water (300 & 300 Rise) - Aztek463

Stroke of genius. Chronologically sequencing events from “300” and “300 Rise” into one edit was doubtless tricky to pull off. Each film has an altogether distinct look. There is the concern that shifting from one film to another will distract. I also wondered if this edit would rely on excessive action at the expense of story.

Video - Sure enough, from Sparta to Athens, the hue swings from reddish to bluish. Yet there were a lot of blacks in both that act to visually cohere the elements. Along with those ever present floating cinders and motes. I don’t know whether this was sheer luck, or if Aztek463 had this planned all along. In any event, visually the films merged.

Audio - Cracking 5.1 sound. Dialogue was never a problem and the bass solid. The only quibble I had came at the very end. The credits. The music jumps abruptly from heroic score to pop song. The aural presence was utterly different, jarring. Catapulted me straight out of the film. Ninety seconds on, I was done.

Narrative - This is where Aztek excels, elevating “300 Rise” almost to the level of “300.” The narrative sleight of hand had me enjoying the sequel much more than I had originally. One gets a clearer idea of the maneuvering and politics involved, not to mention the strategies and combats in chronological order. I still found the heroes of the second film weaker, the villains stronger.

Thanks for doing such tight edit, keeping the running time to under three hours. While this does not eclipse “300” (I doubt that was the intention), I won’t view “300 Rise” again. Earth and Water will be my go to there.

In The Mouth Of Event Horizon (In The Mouth Of Madness & Event Horizon) - RollWave

Overview - An inspired concept here. Editing “In The Mouth Of Madness”, and adding sequences from “Event Horizon”. At first thought, one might doubt this combination. Yet both films are major reality disconnects, and the linking focuses primarily on Sam Neill’s characters. Turns out RollWave is onto something.

Video - From smooth transitions to jarring, hard cuts, everything works. A few of the edits were diabolically clever, passageways in particular. Near the end, watch for visual easter eggs. Brilliant.

Audio - Very good work combining two different sound designs. I watched the mkv file and the sound was a detailed 5.1.
Only problem for me were sections of dialogue, particularly Jürgen Prochnow’s mumbling. I dialed the volume up, invariably just before an avalanche of sound. Those with sensitive eared roommates, be forewarned.

Narrative - There is not an equal sharing of movies. The burden of the edit is Carpenter’s movie, which is the stronger film, in intelligence, in plot, in acting. Additional scenes from “Event Horizon” enhance character breakdowns. These are often hard cuts, but character reactions sync perfectly. The story of spiraling descent into derangement, individual and societal, stays on track.

Enjoyment - I did not think I would like this. Wasn’t until I scanned favorable and insightful reviews that I took the plunge. This is not a replacement for Carpenter’s original film, but it is an astounding parallel version. For those who may be turned off by “Event Horizon,” the best scenes seemed to have been used, and inserted judiciously.

Most entertaining, intelligent Horror labyrinth. Superlative effort.

Humans Are Limitless (2001) - BlueYoda

“A space mind trip on the evolution of evil and violence.”
There seems to be two edits here, both stitching Kubrick’s “2001.”
The first half traces physical (and social) violence through hard cutting and emo rock.
The second half is stealthier, technological violence exacted by the emotionless HAL.
Fair point, though the hectic pulse of the early edit ebbs away leaving the second half dull.
I enjoyed by halves, and wish the construction had not been so bipolar.

City Of The Living Dead - 1980 - 5/10
AKA - Paura Nella Città dei Morti Viventi

During a séance, a medium sees a priest commit suicide thereby cracking the seal that keep the dead – dead.
Hooking up with a cavalier journalist, she heads to Dunwich, hurrying, because there is an All Saint’s deadline.

Lucio Fulci horror film suffers meandering plot (he does try to enliven by periodically killing a blonde), cheap sets, and exteriors that resemble the Dust Bowl by day, foggy moors by night.
For most of the film, there is little tension or urgency. The “hurrying” couple from New York take the scenic route.
When omens or portents appear, the typical response is akin to, “Look at that crack, better call a plasterer.”
How about the payoff?
The final twenty minutes is standout. Red wrigglers, maggots, fat rats.

Who knew mostly deserted Dunwich (née Salem) would boast such an impressive cemetery?
This section is gross, sickening and side splitting - depending on your warped sense of humor.

Dolemite Is My Name - 2019 - 7/10

Well done, unrestrained retelling of Rudy Ray Moore’s budding film career.
Eddie Murphy is perfect in what must have been a labor of love for him.
Failed R n B singer works at a record store and emcees a nightclub.
He develops a raunchy persona, sells adult records by the trunkload, sets his sights on cinema.
Notwithstanding a few soul-searching lulls, this film roars at 100 mph.
Despite the fact that comedy is criminally ignored, Murphy should have been nominated.
I have watched Dolemite (and the sequel, Human Tornado) countless times, yet I had no idea how it was filmed, where it was filmed (except outside Ralph’s), and who worked on it. Von Sternberg?
As soon as I caught the trailer, I knew I had to watch it, and this is not disappoint.
If all you caught was Black Dynamite, get this and the 1975 classic into your queue!

Dolemite - 1975 - 5/10

The warden agrees to spring Dolemite because he believes he may be innocent.
That, and bad things are happening back in the neighborhood.
Once outside prison walls, Dolemite changes clothes and gets down to business.
Settling scores, taking back his club, making love, and recruiting an all-girl kung-fu army.
Film is bad in numerous ways, but is amazingly funny and has its heart in the right place.
Action – comedy – nudity. Key ingredients that Rudy Ray Moore loaded in his first film.
Film is uproarious, gratuitous, hilarious, wild. Crude and rude.
Must see comedy if you have not already.

Giallo - 1934 - 6/10

Wow! Early signpost of the Giallo genre.
This, however, is an Italian comedy based on Edgar Wallace, better known to Krimi buffs.
Reaction above is of wife and lover discovering her husband had changed his name before she knew him.
Because he was suspected of murdering his mother-in-law and his wife back in the States.
Frantically, the couple wonder, how much does the husband know?
Then her lover, the Count, is invited to a hunting party.
As the storm rolls in.
Sets and costumes rival US productions of the early 1930’s. Audio is better.
More amusing, rather than laugh out loud funny.

Dickensiana - 2015 - 8/10

A bustling neighborhood in Victorian London.
Gaslight and cobblestone streets. Air choking with fog and human activity.
Back histories, if you like, are revealed here of events and individuals before Mr Dickens began crafting their later selves.

Where a healthy Little Nell keeps company with Bob Crachit’s eldest son.
Amelia Havisham is young and ravishing beautiful.
Mr Venus acts as a Bernard Spillsbury to Inspector Bucket, of the newly created Detective branch.
And where Jacob Marley is very alive, thank you ever so much, satisfying impulses gross, sadistic and repellent.
A half dozen stories, inspired by Dickens’ characters, weave and intersect.
Another dozen characters thread this way and that.
The rotten core that binds all is coin. Coin of the realm. Debt, bills, the workhouse, poverty that means starvation or slavery, and the means by which some will do anything for gain.
And there, three villains reign supreme in inflicting harm, ruination and despair.
Scrooge - Fagin - Compeyson

Grim series of misery and mystery, calculation and manipulation.
Fans of humanity as monsters will find themselves besotted.
Scripts are faithful, yet reverent, lacking antiseptic writing room compromises.
Excellent storytelling, masterful use of a handful of sets, superb casting.

The Bride (Nevesta) - 2017 - 5/10
AKA - Невеста

Days before the wedding, the photographer’s bride dies.
The grieving man has a plan, however, as he staunchly believes a photograph can capture a soul.
And with the proper “vessel,” said soul can be transferred. Resurrected.
Shuttle ahead 150 years, as the great grandson is now getting married.
First, though, he and his intended are summoned to the remote family estate.
There is a long family tradition, understand, that must be observed.
Despite an effective set-up and atmospheric set design, this film is a sad bungle.
The lead female has the expressions and charisma of a peanut.
Throughout, no one is intelligent. Our lovers, senior family, young children. Time and again, when faced with a decision, and you know they will select dumb or stupid, all and sundry select stupid.
Well worn clichés are milked. When fleeing, for example, how many times can people trip and fall? In this film, a lot apparently. Then the old manor: it has ducts, big enough to crawl through. Sheesh.
What disturbs me most is that I remain convinced the of bones of this story were solid, and that it was lobotomized along the way.

La Femme d’à Côté - 1981 - 7/10
AKA - The Woman Next Door

Arlette and Bernard enjoy an idyllic life in their rural home outside Grenoble.
The nearby house stands empty, until Philippe moves in, who seems an excellent neighbor.
Finally, Philippe’s wife, Mathilde, arrives and the electricity between she and Bernard crackles.
While their spouses are blissfully unaware, viewers recognize the stormy history.
Bernard makes excuses, trying to avoid the old flame, but both are drawn to the fire.
Both know which buttons to press to stimulate physically and emotionally, and do so shamelessly.
Toxic love story, with thriller elements, should ring for many.
Most of us have been in addictive relationships, utterly destructive, that we cannot break from.
Older, wiser souls try to avoid contact for life. Not so here.
Fanny Ardant absolutely bewitching.

Lady You Shot Me: Life And Death Of Sam Cooke - 2017 - 5/10

Inept biography plays more like “Cold Case” episode than fact filled documentary.
Fact: Over 50 years have passed since Cooke was murdered.
Most of the participants from that period are deceased. Only two interviewees either worked with or knew Cooke directly.
Fact: There was an autopsy, there was a hearing where the sunglass wearing shooter was acquitted.
A lot of supposition and theorizing goes on in this, a fair amount runs the conspiracy line.
This is cheap looking throughout, with measured narration.
Not without interest, however.
Music: Cooke’s tunes were not permitted to be used. The rights holder, ABKCO, refused.
Older music fans need read no further. If younger and curious, proceed.
ABKCO is / was Allen Klein’s umbrella company.
Klein was an accountant, who with methods aggressive and hostile, obtained higher royalties for musicians.
Yet somehow, the songwriting copyrights became his.
Aside from Cooke, “clients” included the Beatles, the Animals, Rolling Stones (to their everlasting regret), labels Cameo Parkway and Philles.
The merest whiff of Klein, one of the most disreputable villains in modern music, galvanized my full attention.

McCammon, Robert - A Little Amber Book Of Wicked Shots

Fellow intoxicants, line up your shot glasses.
A trio of stories, each prefaced with one of the author’s fave cocktail recipes.
In “Little Green Gown,” a traveling salesman checks into a swank Birmingham hotel.
New line of shirts and a new territory to start making commission.
In the lobby he sees a young girl. That’s how he likes ’em. Young. Real young.
The longest story, probably a novelette, takes place in Gotham.
“Message From The Overmind” trails the retired hockey enforcer, something of a legend.
Style is hard boiled, focusing on men who deal with pain stoically.
I enjoyed this most of the way, until everything went into fantasy island, then it lost me.
The final bit, “DST, Inc.” sells office politics, career revenge.
And hey, payback’s a bitch, ain’t it?

Amer - 2009 - 5/10

Baffling, experimental arthouse mystery / coming-of-age / murder / whatever.
Young girl wanders the house of her deceased grandfather, while her mother carries on with a male (husband, brother, gardener), and while a mysterious female is locked in an adjoining room.
Minimal dialogue as we explore through the child’s eyes. Perhaps.

In the middle section, she is preteen jailbait for numerous leather clad men.
Finally, she is pursued by an assailant wearing black gloves and mask, carrying a knife.
That has given this a Giallo tag, but this is not remotely part of that genre.
Arresting visuals notwithstanding, this is self-absorbed, almost pretentious.
I watched, indifferent, bored, mildly curious about what the director would hurl on the screen next.
If you have something better lined up, head there first.

A Shaun The Sheep Movie: Farmageddon - 2019 - 6/10

A young alien crash lands in the woods adjoining the pasture.
Exploring, the friendly, and hungry, visitor makes friends with Shaun.
Did someone say, “That sounds like E.T.?”
For almost half the film, the story mirrors the original quite a lot.
There are also nods to Close Encounters, 2001, and several more.
Not saying this is dumbed down, but it does seem aimed at children more than earlier works.

Animals - 2019 - 6/10

Laura and Tyler stagger out of the club. Or stagger into another.
We’re talking serious party girls here. Ten unleashed years of delirium.
Now, as they edge into their 30’s, one of them seems to be shifting her outlook; the other raves on.
One wonders if she should “do something” with her life.
A pair of men enter. A pianist and a poet. The encounters further expand the perspectives.
Atypical female-friend drama, does not follow expected routes and is refreshing for that.

The Prowler - 1951 - 6/10

Outside the window, the prowler frightens a female wearing only a towel.
Two cops arrive. The junior one eyes the spacious house, expensive furniture, and the soft curves.
The cop, Webb, wants a taste. All of it. Including that sweet cake, left lonely.
And she could be had, too. Her husband neglects her, she simmers underneath, and she’s weak.
“Don’t. Stop. We can’t,” she moans, nights later, as her arm tightens around Webb’s neck, pulling him into the folds.
Nasty, cynical Noir is powered by Van Heflin’s riveting performance.
He’s bitter, manipulative, terrified, resentful, murderous.
His facial expressions dance, instant by instant.
Struggle, scheme, play your hand. For what, eightball? Do you still feel lucky?

Una Farfalla Con le Ali Insanguinate - 1971 - 6/10
AKA - Bloodstained Butterfly

While two children play hide n seek, the young woman, stabbed repeatedly, tumbles down the hill.
Police arrive and begin gathering clues about her murder.
A suspect was observed, recognized. There is evidence.
In court, the case is all but open and shut.
Except, the accused has a well prepared, calculating attorney.
Though under the Giallo umbrella, this lacks the garish colors, high style, and general overload.
The first half is police procedural and courthouse drama.
Moreover, the narrative makes sense.
Excellent thriller / mystery with, to me, a dash of Giallo.

Salón México - 1949 - 6/10

Mercedes works to exhaustion, denying herself, keeping her young sister in an exclusive school.
Her ambitions for her straight A sister? To be a doctor. For herself, not so much.
Mercedes hustles at the Salon Mexico, a bustling cantina filled with the gamut of turistas and lowlifes.
She competes in dances, is a companion, and - unspoken - a B-girl.
Parts of this are wonderful. There’s a bit of crime business that’s well shot and exciting to watch.
The interior of Salon Mexico hails from when Mexico meant exotic. South Of The Border.
It’s smoky, steamy, sweaty, sexy. The floor pulses with life.
The other side of the story is Mercedes’ guilt, and the innocent purity of her sister.
This aspect is corny melodrama. The suffering, the anguish.
Photography is imaginative and evocative throughout.

Jan de Lichte - 2019 - 6/10
AKA - Thieves Of The Wood // The Flemish Bandits

Retelling of 18th century highwayman and his gang of desperadoes.
Jan deserts from the War of the Austrian Succession, returns to find a blighted home.
The mayor and cronies are banning as many lower orders as they can,
Outside the city walls, the only jobs are brutal toil for a pittance or petty thievery.
Jan helps them take their thievery to a higher level.
Actually, though, there are few capers. There are settings in officialdom, in brothels, in gambling dens, in the gypsy camp, and the outlaw camps.
Talking, maneuvering here and there, but damn little action.
Overlong by about four episodes.

The Ottomans: Europe’s Muslim Emperors - 2013 - 6/10

(More accurate title might be “Eastern Europe’s…)
Three part documentary gives a skimming survey of 600 years of rule, and 100 years afterward.
Ambitions, strategies, implementation of power are detailed, as well as dealing with problems.
Some problems, caused by the Turks, caused by the West, would fester for centuries, boiling over in our era.
The major historical players are checked, but really, 20 minutes is not enough for Atatürk, and certainly not for Suleiman The Magnificent.
Rageh Omaar is a quiet, self-effacing presenter (unlike other hosts who feel their face is the essential ingredient and want it onscreen continuously).
At three hours, this makes a lightly informative series.

Faneditors, take note

Women Without Men - 1956 - 5/10

British “women in prison” film. Slow, snooze inducing, with the slimmest of plots.
In this Hammer Noir, female agrees to reunite with her new boyfriend New Years Eve.
Unfortunately, when she tries to break up with her current “handler” he smacks her around.
She bashes him with a hand mirror and gets tossed in the slammer.
The warden is stern but fair, the guards no-nonsense but approachable, the inmates a happy family.
You got it - fantasy prison.
For various reasons, three convicts escape (including our heroine, who just has to keep that New Years Eve rendezvous).
Brief movie plods along. I watched it because it was Beverly Michaels last movie.

Except …

Blonde Bait - 1956 - 5/10

… Except the American distributor shot additional scenes, edited the plot, and fashioned a new storyline.
US nightclub singer performing in London is dating a man who is a traitor, smuggler, and killer.
She doesn’t know and agrees to marry him on New Years Eve after he takes care of “business."
When she tries to break the news to her manager, he roughs her up, she grabs that hand mirror, and -
She’s in the big house.
US State Dept want her out so they can nab her no-good, villainous man (Jim Davis, scion of TV’s Dallas).
The new scenes are edited in rather awkwardly, but this succeeds as a new film and, to my mind, slightly better.
Bev Michael’s hair is mousy in the Brit version, back to glossy blonde in the US release.
Neither film is all that hot.

Nevertheless, this was Beverly Michaels’ (great hard blonde) last film appearance. Damn.

Kfulim: S01 - 2015 - 7/10
AKA - False Flag // כפולים

When an important Iranian diplomat is kidnapped, five ordinary Israeli citizens are accused.
Security cameras capture them, disguised, but they were unearthed because of passport activity.
They claim innocence, but soon even friends and family cast a suspicious eye.
Who could forge your passport? What agency has the capabilities? And why?
Wicked series of intrigue, espionage and murder, with constant dark turns and reveals.