Vultural

I’m From Hollywood - 1989 - 7/10

Terrific documentary / satire / sport-a-rama.
Andy Kaufman takes on womenfolk and baits the Memphis crackers in the Inter-Gender Wrestling matches.
From this, the epic feud with Jerry Lawler started.
Wrestling was no less fake in the early 80’s than it is today, but steroid inflated gorks were not the fixtures.
Interviews with Marilu Henner, Robin Williams, Tony Danza.
Also clips of Kaufman urging Southern women to shave their legs, and locals to discover soap and toilet tissue.
Brilliant.

Antidote - 2021 - 6/10

After her appendicitis bursts, Sharyn is rushed to the hospital.
Complications arise and she wakes in a different medical facility.
The experimental kind. And she is the latest in a huge section of test patients.
Horror film fits into the subgenre of “hospital horror.”
For a budget film, quality actors have been cast, though the gray complex resembles a bunker.
Unlike most hospital horror, this is one busy place, with orderlies, nurses, and plenty of horrible procedures.
Only a handful of characters are shown, yet most have backstories which we discover.
The producers tried for an unusual, original ending. I did not necessarily buy it, but I laud the attempt.

Female Ninjas: In Bed With The Enemy - 1976 - 5/10
AKA - Kunoichi Ninpo: Kannon Biraki // くノ一忍法　観音開き

The passionate embrace, face to face.
Until!! The bandit realizes she is a female ninja, and he is caught in the technique known as octopus pot!
As she tightens, will he confess what he knows? How much pain can he endure? Will she leave him with a nub?
Back up. A shipment of the king’s gold has been stolen, and the prime minister deploys a trio of female ninjas.
Swordplay here and there. Nudity makes up 50% of the film.
Oh, there’s a wandering scholar, as well.
The plot … I think it’s … I kept getting distracted.

I See You - 2019 - 7/10

Top mystery thriller requires a careful review.
Children in small Ohio town are going missing … again.
Has an earlier serial killer reemerged? Or is this a copycat?
Concurrent with this is the home life of one of the assigned detectives.
Marriage unrest, an angry teenage son, the usual. And – some not so usual events.
About a third of the way in, the narrative makes a jarring pivot.
From there until the end, this becomes diabolically creepy.
If twisting puzzlers are your manna, I urge you to watch this cold.
Too many reviews over reveal, ruining surprises.

Reality - 2012 - 5/10

Italian “comedy” about a fish seller / hustler who gets prodded to audition for the Big Brother reality show.
He gradually obsesses over tiny details and loses touch with reality.
Opening sets were breathtaking. The wedding site, then the Naples neighborhood.
Characters were a different matter, however. I wanted to hurl bricks at most of them.
Probably by intent. Everyone was transfixed by the lure of fame and celebrity.
Everyone around me laughed out loud, whereas I viewed the main character as being trapped in a chamber of Hell.

Chicken With Vinegar - 1985 - 6/10
AKA - Poulet au Vinaigre // Cop au Vinto

A trio of scoundrels try to fleece Ma and son out of their derelict homestead.
They are secretive, but the son is a mail carrier and he routinely opens their correspondence.
He is also aided by his postal colleague (an enticing Pauline Lafont as rich cheesecake).
The youth is soon out of his depth with the older males.
His silky colleague soon leads him around by his belt buckle.
And after the first murder, the police inspector takes no nonsense from him.
Odd, light-hearted mystery wanders out of category throughout

Night Train To Lisbon - 2013 - 7/10

Jeremy Irons plays Swiss professor who, after an encounter, stumbles across a slim philosophical / confessional book by a Portuguese writer.
He becomes bewitched by the “goldsmith of words,” and catches the train to Lisbon to meet the writer.
Once there, he interviews family and friends, and teases the backstory of broken dreams, lost love, betrayal, and torture, set during the Portuguese revolution of the mid 70’s.
Dual narratives dovetail Irons’ deepening quest with the excavation of memory.
Most of the film was shot in Lisbon, with its narrow, cobblestone lanes and breathtaking views of the night washed city below and the distant Sao Jorge Castelo. Especially at night, from the Alfama, Lisbon is enchanting.
Highly rewarding film for those who enjoy following the thread to wherever it leads.

Vanished By The Lake - 2015 - 7/10
AKA - Le Mystère du Lac

During the night of the village fete, teenage Chloe disappears.
Almost twenty years after two other girls vanished, never to be found.
The best friend forever of the original duo, now a Paris detective, appears.
As does one of the males who had been accused back then.
Within a month, the village is nothing but suspects, resentments, and ugly histories.
Short series excels in casting plausible suspicion up to the last few minutes.
Mystery fans, this is tight plotting.

The Children - 1980 - 5/10

A leak at a nuclear plant goes ignored, enters the water table, and then – the children are affected!
Those the children come into contact with burn alive.
Also the children seem to have baked brains.
Grade-D horror outing has a good sense of place. Rural Massachusetts.
Photography is decent, though acting worsens as the film proceeds.
Bad as this is, it is an entertaining watch.

Skin Of Roses - 1978 - 6/10
AKA - Dan Oniroku Bara no Nikutai // バラの皮

With her husband in prison, Ritsuko is obligated to pay off his debts.
She is hostess in a bar, but after hours she has extra-curricular activities with special customers.
Additional clients pay heavily to watch.
This is a serious money maker for the mob, and repaying the debt makes no business sense.
Not one of Naomi Tani’s best films, but devotees of Pinku Eiga will want to watch, or rewatch to study the clever cinematography, the strategic placement of vases and flowers.
This is also a rough one.

Shadow Dancer - 2012 - 6/10

Tense drama / thriller set in 1993, during negotiations between Sinn Féin and the British government.
Clive Owen plays MI-5 handler of “flipped” IRA informant.
Plot meanders between the maneuverings of MI-5 compartments, and the internal investigations of the Republican Army.
The political background is not brought to the fore, and unless you were aware of the disputes many in the IRA had with Sinn Féin, you were in the dark.
Likewise, there were many gaping plot holes: A possible romantic angle. Why the group suspected they had a mole. Why MI-5 locked data from Owen’s character. The ending.
Film felt rush released, and would have benefited from a more coherent edit.

Adolf Hitler The Itinerary - 2018 - 5/10

Slap dash, two part series of der Führer.
The author has gone to great pains to correct numerous errors which, he declares, have crept into histories and biographies.
First fifteen minutes are somewhat interesting, showing Hitler’s childhood, youth, student years, and starving artist period in Vienna.
Then events unroll rapidly. World War I service, party building, the failed putsch, chancellor, war, end.
The final ten minutes also interesting, focus on what happened to the “body” in the years afterward.
There are superior WWII, Hitler, or Nazi docs available.

Miss Devil - 2018 - 7/10
AKA - Miss Debiru: Jinji no Akuma Tsubaki Mako // デビル 人事の悪魔・椿眞子

Addictive J-dorama proves quite the guilty pleasure.
Kyoa Home Insurance hires HR consultant, the gorgeous Miss Tsubaki, to prepare 50 eager new hires.
After two weeks training, 40 have resigned. HR is horrified, top management delighted.
Only one recruit dares to stand up to her, the shy, timid Saito.
The Boss gives Tsubaki her own section, and she hand picks a small staff, including the terrified Saito.
Every two weeks, Tsubaki sends Saito into an area to train: Sales, Underwriting, Marketing, Sprockets.
His task - find the weakest member for Tsubaki to remove.
The mysterious, if frightening, Miss Tsubaki is the axe-man
Nasty little series flicks deftly, rapier-like, at everyday corporate grievances.
Sexual harassment, unpaid overtime, pregnancy, all the while treading to higher stakes.
Realize, Tsubaki, known quickly as Miss Devil, has a personal agenda.

Tragic Night - 1942 - 6/10
AKA - Tragica Notte

Stefano is an overly conscientious gamekeeper.
Poachers have their weapons seized, or their licenses revoked.
One is even sent to prison!
They decide to teach him a lesson. They don masks and beat him senseless.
He recognizes one culprit, however, and bides his time. Laying the pieces for a nasty revenge.
Although based on Toscan Delfino Cinelli’s novel “The Trap,” the story evokes “Othello.”

Bling Ring - 2013 - 6/10

Like others, I knew the story from news reports, and a Rolling Stone article.
Interesting film, and reactions. People around me were disgusted and upset by the whole “home invasion” aspect, while I shrugged.
Rich folks didn’t have home security systems?
Plus, I couldn’t care less if Lindsay Lohan was burgled, especially if she - or any of them - was Facebooking her movements and tweeting her home absences for all the world to read. Also, if the Kardashians had been targeted I might have laughed.
The high school kids’ use of Facebook and Google earth to plan heists was audacious.
Coppola walked a fine line being sympathetic yet showing their envy and greed.
I enjoyed this, but my morality is shadowy, and I understand how others were disturbed.
Note: Paris Hilton allowed friend, Sofia Coppola, to film inside her home.

Beware Of Mr. Baker - 2010 - 7/10

Biography of Ginger Baker, devil of the drums.
Interviews with Bruce & Clapton from Cream, Winwood from Blind Faith, and lots of modern era drummers, who were influenced by him.
Tons of clips as well as animated sequences.
Baker was a troubled child and a reckless force of nature. Three of his four wives speak on camera (though wife #4 seem\s less than comfortable).
Drug addictions, zero financial sense, and rootless ways keep him skirting near the edge of poverty.
What saves him is his drum kit. At any age, he can still pound harder, and with more soul and understanding than almost any.
Even in his 70’s, Baker is a right piece of work, opening the film by giving his interviewer a bloody nose by smacking him with his cane.
Great moment. Do not go gentle into that good night.

Snow White Must Die - 2013 - 6/10
AKA - Schneewittchen Muss Sterben

Tobias returns to the small town after being in prison eight years.
The crime? Murder of the village flirt, though no body was ever found.
His arrival upsets most, ignites an old flame, and results in one hanging.
Murder or suicide? Police arrive to ascertain, and to start sifting through buried secrets.
Passable mystery (based on Nele Nauhaus novel) has location settings, and well defined characters who don’t blur into each other.

Lelíček In Sherlock Holmes’ Service - 1932 - 6/10
AKA - Lelíček ve Službách Sherlocka Holmese

The great detective agrees to find a double for an endangered monarch.
The king of Puerto Rico.
He finds a suitable candidate in Prague, persuades him, and they catch the train to Puerto Rico.
Bear with me.
Turns out the king, an anxious milquetoast, has reasons to be concerned with assassination.
Anarchists are easy to recognize as their garb is a cross between pirate and gypsy and Zorro.
Once the pair reach Puerto Rico, the kingdom is recognized instantly.
This is not the Caribbean, this is Freedonia!

There is no Zeppo, but there are songs in this creaky comic gem from Czechoslovakia.
The double is a handful for Holmes, though the love starved queen knows a thing about scepters.

Note: English subs can be difficult to locate for this. The one set I found had some issues.
I fixed timestamps, clarified dialogue, and a few other tweaks.
My subs = https://subscene.com/subtitles/lelek-ve-slubch-sherlocka-holmese/english/1889245
or - http://www.addic7ed.com/movie/140729

No One Lives - 2012 - 5/10

Another variation on the dead teenager fugue. Sorta.
Yuppie couple driving cross country runs afoul of small town family gangsters.
Thugs have already shown themselves capable of murder.
That time, however, they chose a psychopath as victim.
Reference title. Predictable track - whack - splat.
Nothing especially imaginative or creative about meals.

The Boarding School - 2021 - 6/10
AKA - El Internado: Las Cumbres

Good opening episode, hard charging, if exasperating, final episode.
In between, this series is more padded than a Vegas showgirl’s bustier.
Affluent delinquents endure rigorous discipline inside an exclusive school.
How do I know they are rich? Because that school ain’t cheap.
And delinquents? Adults in charge keep reminding them.
Mystery abounds of a sinister order and ravens, never remotely explained.
Other mysteries are revealed then abandoned. The abrupt ending leaves numerous loose ends.
Students roam the halls nightly. Motions detectors? Security cameras? Nope.
Likewise, any time any character accesses a computer, is that password protected? Ha ha.
This seems targeted toward teens as each episode is padded with 3-4 “sex” (no nudity) scenes.
Producers may have been aiming for more seasons. Good luck there, Barney.
With an ongoing global pandemic, no telling when or if this will ever resume.
The longer the delay, the more our “students” will solidify into twenty year olds.

Sunday Illness - 2018 - 6/10
AKA - La Enfermedad del Domingo

Chiara’s opulent dinner party, attended by an elite, has a stowaway among the temp help.
The older woman recognizes the infiltrator almost at once.
It is the daughter she threw away thirty years earlier.
This is not chance, for the daughter has a request, and no, not financial.
In fact, she is not really that interested in why her mother abandoned her.
A child was inconvenient, Mom wanted a better life and she succeeded gloriously.
I must confess I preferred the earlier, lavish half, despite its shallowness, to the stark realities of the second half.
Beautiful visuals, though the emotional undercurrents are austere to the point of frigidity.

Hunting ASH - 1991 - 5/10
AKA - Skyscraper Hunting // Chôkôsô Hantingu // 摩天大楼狩猎

The 80’s marked the first appearance of the Abnormal Species Human (ASH).
They appear human, except for a pulsating dark extension running down their back - think spinal cord on steroids.
They have telekinetic powers to burn people alive, blow them to smithereens.
Worse (to menfolk in general), the male ASH are irresistible to human females.
Women go gaga over the ASH knobby cob.
Happy ASH males, sharing their love ooze, also spreading DNA. Babies!!

Thank God, there is an special unit of cops chasing down this new danger!
So-so Japanese SciFi has acceptable sfx, cheesy synth score, and the plot cobbles together elements from several other films.
Despite the infrequent inter-species rutting, this is neither lurid nor outrageous enough to tempt trash fans.

Newlyweds - 2011 - 5/10

New York apartment drama from low rent, indie filmmaker, Edward Burns (best known for Brothers McMullen).
Older couple embark on the second marriage. In no time flat, the groom’s younger, toxic sister arrives from Los Angeles for indefinite stay.
Then the bride’s older, toxic sister, suffers imminent divorce. Drama, drama, drama.
There’s also an ex floating about.
Self absorbed characters (though Mr Burns cast himself as the rock of stability), spouting forced, provocative dialogue.
I’ve sat through worse.

A Rather English Marriage - 1998 - 6/10

Squadron leader Conyngham-Jervis and milkman Southgate visit dying wives in the hospital.
Afterward, Social Services suggest the widowers move in together for companionship.
From there, this becomes a study of characters.
While everyone is excellent, Albert Finney is horribly terrific.
His character, who insists on everyone calling him squadron leader, is insufferable.
Vain, pompous, reveling in the bygone days of youth, battles and conquests.
One of the audience members equated him with Mister Toad. Quite apt.

The Eternal Evil Of Asia - 1995 - 6/10
AKA - Nan Yang Shi da Xie Shu // 南洋十大邪術

After Nam’s parents die, he stresses out over trivialities.
Worse, his parents return as ghosts and he slaughters everyone in sight, including himself.
Hey? There is a backstory. Four buddies holiday in Thailand for lusty adventures.
There, they disrespect a sorcerer – with ludicrous consequences – yet wind up being friends.
Until they catch sight of the wizard’s cute sister.
Before you know it, there are curses, enchantments and hexes.
There is also a considerable amount of sex magick (including flying wheelbarrow configuration!).
Wildly gratuitous Cat III horror from Hong Kong.
Find a version with original, embedded subtitles. Hilariously atrocious.