Vultural

Diablo Guardián: S01 - 2018 - 6/10

Rose Alba has had it with her family’s middle class aspirations.
Most offensive is her name, and she rechristens herself Violetta.
OK, I’ve known young people who did likewise.
She decides to run away, stealing a stash of family cash.
Alright – but – how many families have 300K in US dollars in their homes?
Then, through impossible luck and fortuitous encounters, Violetta skedaddles to New York.
Skeptical? Shelve that, and be prepared to suspend more disbelief, a lot more.
Fairy tale seems aimed at frustrated adolescents who believe Pretty Woman is real!
Paulina Gaitan memorable as the juicy, headstrong, reach for the skies sweet tart.
Everyone else lacks charisma, some can barely act.
Concluding episode of S01 was inept, I bailed on S02.

Saint Amour - 2016 - 5/10

Viewers with a soft spot for “dumb” (dumb friends, coworkers, neighbors) might score higher.
Aging father and son hit the Agricultural Fair.
Dad hopes his prize bull will win a prize, Junior intends to get sloshed.
During a prolonged interval, they hire a taxi and drive through various wine regions.
Three males, including the driver, encounter a variety of altogether willing females.
Yes, male fantasy time. Our studs are bumpkin stumble-bums, yet ladies tumble.
Over talky, touchy feelie, angst laden, baggage packed, pointless, sexist …
Oh, sensitive souls, Depardieu exposes a v-a-s-t swath of stomach in a romantic interlude.

Subs = https://subscene.com/subtitles/saint-amour/english/1635227

Nausicaa - 1971 - 6/10

Interviews, reenactments, cobbled stories of Greek refugees in France during the Junta 1967-74.
Finding work, finding accommodations, homesickness, forming enclaves.
One of the female characters is named Agnes, and may be drawn from the director.
Or maybe not.
Varda is perhaps playing with truth here, but not to the extent of say Herzog.
What is most interesting are street interviews.
Most either did not know about the Greek situation, or did not want to know.

Lies & Alibis - 2006 - 6/10
AKA - Alibis

Confidence sting in new clothes.
Steve Coogen helps cheatin’ husbands, cheatin’ wives.
Big money to be made in saving adulterous marriages from divorce lawyers.
When a younger client treats his rough trade girlfriend a little too rough, stories and alibis fire up.
Entire cast uniformly excellent in droll comedy.
Sam Elliott memorable as seething Mormon hitman.

Berguño, George - The Sad Eyes Of The Lewis Chessman

Choice collection of stories at an irresistible price.
Note must be made, however, that of the nine stories, five had previously been published in Ex Occidente’s The Exorcist’s Travelogue.
“Billy Goat Blues” takes place in the far Shetland. An aged narrator, older, perhaps wiser through soured experiences, recalls his terrifying investigation of the poet, the prosecutor, and the murderer.
“The Bannað” reads like a Norse myth, or something between myth and sad memory. Of promises, of paradise, of oaths and honor, and the encircling aftermath.
“The Dogs Of Valparaiso” weaves between philosopher and interrogator. Connecting them, first one, then the other, are the unwanted. Strays. Dead eyed, homeless dogs. Neglected, limping across the cityscape. A staring guilt on those whose concern is minimal.

Is this a mental outline, or are you scribbling notes?
Rough idea how long the edit will run?

The Armstrong Lie - 2013 - 7/10

Focused documentary on cyclist Lance Armstrong and the substance use denial.
Scant in the way of in-depth biography - marriages, kids, friends, nada. Couple of stills of him with his single mom.
When he arrived on the cycling scene, doping was prevalent. Indeed, cycling in general suffers a long, sorry history of cheats and frauds.
Nowadays, the money incentives are staggering. Few athletes - of any sport - remotely resemble normal humans.
All professional sports seem to be as real as wrestling.
I never liked Armstrong as shown in this, though I empathized with his situation.
Had he not joined all other contestants in steroids and blood tweaking, Lance would have been no one, another Damien Nazon.

The Green Man - 1956 - 6/10

Seemingly agreeable Hawkins (Alistair Sim) found his calling at an early age. Assassin.
While he is a free agent and will liquidate any on his list, his preference is for pompous windbags.
During World War II, he finds competition from the Luftwaffe and retires.
Afterward - well - there is never a shortage of blowhards waiting to be snuffed.
Unexpected opposition arrives in a busybody vacuum salesman.
Fast paced, black comedy of murder, misunderstandings and mistaken identities.
Dialogue is rapid fire (based on a play), this is lightweight fun.

Sleeping Beauty: A Gothic Romance - 2013 - 7/10

Revamped take on Tchaikovsky’s ballet.
1890, the infant princess is surrounded by faerie,
Next, forward 21 years, 1911, the apex of the Romanov Dynasty.
Reawakening in 100 years to a world of cellphone and baggy clothed hipsters.
The opening part, for me, has always been a toil to watch or listen to.
The second part, circa 1911, promised much, being on the cusp of the Russian Revolution.
Alas, slumber struck Princess Aurora, though her childhood love was allowed to follow.
How? Why being turned into a vampire by one of the “good” vampires.
Yes, you read correct. The fairies have been rebooted as vampires.
Better than zombies, I suppose.
Tchaikovsky’s 3-4 hour ballet trimmed to 100”. Adam Maskell riveting as Carabosse / Caradoc.

Siren Of Atlantis - 1949 - 5/10
AKA - Atlantis, The Lost Continent

Fruity, cockeyed yarn about expedition searching for, and finding, fabled Atlantis.
The expedition is the French Foreign Legion.
Atlantis is in the middle of the Sahara!
Ruling the lost kingdom is a beautiful, ageless, sexually voracious queen.
Most of the citizenry act as guards or as dancers. (No TV, no reading material, dancing is the main entertainment,)
The music score is intrusive and distracting, and bulk of the acting is histrionic.
Who cares?
Queen Antinea wears skin tight or sheer as can be outfits. Plays chess with the men folk, leads them to her yawning conch shell bed, and drains their mojo, till their ain’t no wick in the stick.
Along with provocative costumes, is the $5.00 set design. Cinematographer Karl Struss filled the flick with phallic imagery. Candlesticks, chessmen, marble columns, even the omnipresent masked, turbaned guards.
Bad film but a fun one.

Nelly - 2016 - 5/10

Canadian novelist Nelly Arcan burst out of the gate with her first book, a best seller in her home country and France.
Succeeding books sold less and less until her suicide ten years later.
Film mixes her writer self, along with when she was an escort, along with her characters.
Those unfamiliar with Nelly Arcan (such as me) will have trouble keeping up unless you realize this.
Her novels were lurid and her characters were thinly disguised autobiographies.
Movie is filled with sex, rough sex, girl talk, and the insecure writer.
Often an unpleasant ride.

Burn, Witch, Burn - 1962 - 6/10
AKA - Night Of The Eagle

Professor Taylor is on an academic fast-track. He is talented, skilled, forceful.
And – as it turns out, married to a witch.
He regards superstition, voodoo, hexes, charms as stuff and nonsense.
Once aware, he forces her to burn all her protective amulets, whereupon then Life sours.
Good horror outing, based on Fritz Lieber’s “Conjure Wife.”
Taylor is such a pig-headed prig, part of me roots for the forces of darkness to crush him.

Saki - 2013 - 7/10
AKA - サ キ

Reprising her role from Utsukushii Rinjin (Beautiful Neighbor), Yukie Nakama returns as the demure, soft spoken Saki.
This time, her crosshairs target men, five of them.
Hauntingly beautiful, the irresistible siren soon bewitches each.
Saki probes, coaxes, until she burrows into them, finding buried scars.
She tears them apart until they crumble. And she watches throughout.
Others, she builds up - with straw - while flicking emotional matches behind her back.
Why does she do this?

This J-dorama is an acquired taste. Slow at times, over the top now and them.
Saki, setting her traps, is a real piece of work. Even as horrible as this villain was, I secretly rooted for her.
Plus, to paraphrase Hannibal Smith, I love it when a plan comes together, even by a murderess.

Edge Of Tomorrow - 2014 - 6/10

OK SciFi grafts Battle Los Angeles with the endlessly repeating loop.
Callous, inexperienced coward dies and dies and dies, only to revive again.
With each awakening, he learns more about the alien Mimics, and perhaps how to thwart the invasion.
Yep, bug hunt.
The dead - resurrect bit was repeated much too often.
Pacing was brisk, but the repetition became tedious, then tiresome. Film just felt sluggish.
J-Squad underutilized.
Not as awful as the naysayers shout, but not as good as it should have been.

A Woman’s Secret - 1949 - 6/10

An argument, a gunshot, then the confession. “I did it.”
Would cases all be so easy, declare police as the jail door slams shut.
Yet a skeptical detective and loyal boyfriend have doubts and begin to talk.
And so begins one flashback after another.
I watched because IMDB lists this a Noir, directed by Nicholas Ray, with Gloria Graham.
Rather, this is a mystery / woman’s drama with a Pygmalion trope.
Not bad, but not Noir.

Attack Of The Crab Monsters - 1957 - 4/10

Lovers of crab claws or crab legs, how about a three foot serving?
Mind you, the crab itself is twenty feet wide, ravenous, and intellectual.
Say what? There ain’t no dinner as smart as me!
Think again, Farquar. Radiated crabs scuttle forth to conquer Earth in this Roger Corman masterpiece.
A second wave of scientists arrive on a tiny, deserted island after the first group mysteriously disappear.
The Navy drops them off, then departs. Their radio goes on the fritz, and is later smashed.
(Thank God, Russell Johnson (“The Professor”) is there to repair it!)
I don’t want to spoil too much. Suffice to say, as Mr Crablegs eats more brains, he absorbs their intellects.
Makes one wonder what would happen if it attacked a Wal Mart.

Desert Flower - 2009 - 6/10

Lush biographical portrait of supermodel Waris Dirie.
Narrative swings back and forth between her perseverance in 80’s London, her childhood in Somalia, and her excruciating solitary trek across the desert wastes to Mogadishu.
The imagery from Africa is gorgeous, though the gradual revelations from her childhood, grow increasingly horrifying.
Based on Dirie’s autobiography.

The Frolic - 2007 - 6/10

Demons follow psychologist Dr. Munck home.
He has been interviewing a child serial killer, one John Doe, who seems to slither under his skin.
Based on a Thomas Ligotti story, this suffers budget limitations, poor direction, and perhaps limited understanding of the author.
Mr. Doe is shot, head down, making creepy eyes (when girls do this, they are called bedroom eyes).
Throughout, the obvious dominates over nuance.
Score by Steven King, including bandmate, Ligotti.

The Man Who Would Be King - 1975 - 7/10

Big time, old fashioned adventure film based on Kipling.
Caine and Connery perfect as greedy scoundrels who trek from India to Kafiristan.
Intend to hoodwink the natives, seize the treasure, return to England dripping wealth.
Oh, the best laid plans . . .
Stunning photography (shot in Morocco’s mountains), magical sense of time and place.
Bit slow at times (Star Wars came out two years later, Raiders Lost Ark in ‘81.), and felt quaint when it came out.
Noteworthy for the lack of gore or gratuitous violence.

In the brief documentary, director John Huston commented that he had hoped to shoot this years earlier with Clark Gable and Humphrey Bogart, but both died.
Thinking about it, this could have been made in the 40’s with Errol Flynn and David Niven.

City That Never Sleeps - 1953 - 5/10

The city, in this case Chicago, may not sleep, but this was a snoozer for me.
Marked as Film Noir, it is not. This is a cop drama as a stolid cop contemplates turning in his badge.
An entrenched kingpin has offered him a hefty retainer to punish an uppity minion.
The copper, Gig Young, is sour on the uniform, the citizens, the whole night-in night-out.
His wife even makes more money than he does! Plus, a dancer (burlesque) has the hots for him!
Well, forget Officer Sad Sack.
William Talman, in an edgy villainous role, owns the screen as the aforementioned underling who harbors berserk fury.
The Reaper could not have recruited a better soldier.

Cold Courage - 2020 - 6/10

Might have scored this slightly higher had not the creators deliberately bungled the ending.
Finnish immigrant Lia is recruited by a clandestine political action group.
Aim? Prevent right wing candidate Arthur Fried from being elected.
There is a side plot of white slave traffic, which feels tacked on, as well as a useless police investigation.
John Simm is spectacular as the charismatic Fried (Putting the Great Back into Great Britain) and is the reason to watch this series.
Eight episodes feels about right, and midway through the finale, you envision how this should wrap.
Except – No! – While this could easily conclude, show producers decided to stall and milk for a S02.
Don’t bother. This is good, but not that good, and don’t encourage lazy crap like that.

Chicago Syndicate - 1955 - 5/10

City officials recruit Federal accountant to infiltrate seemingly untouchable crime group.
Dennis O’Keefe shuffles through the bookkeeper role, while others around him generate a lot more voltage.
Xavier Cugat leads his band, smoldering Abbe Lane croons “One At A Time.”
Still, this is a B-movie quickie. Only a handful of guys make up the mighty syndicate, and the nightclub they spend most of their time at is cheap looking.
Passable time waster.

A Better Life - 2011 - 6/10
AKA - Une Vie Meilleure

A young couple discover an abandoned house, in the middle of nowhere, but near the lake.
“I could create a classy restaurant here!” says the male, a school cook.
We just need to borrow enough money …

As any older soul could warn, there are dreams and there are pipedreams.
The couple, and it is very difficult to ascertain how long they have known each other, take on debt.
Crushing debt. But it’s for a better life, right? A glorious future!
The story wears one down. The man has an unpleasant streak, the woman nurses illusions of her own, plus she has a son whom she drags into the swamp.
The bitter passage that we have all either witnessed or experienced.

It’s Only A Play - 2021 - 7/10

“There’s no business like show business.”
After opening night, characters converge in the producer’s suite, while the after-party swings outside the door.
Tension quietly mounts as they wait for reviews, suspecting, fearing, knowing, the play is a turkey.
Very funny production clutches stereotypes like bowling trophies.
The playwright who has never equaled his first play. The talent who sold out and went Hollywood.
Another Hollywood soul, the has-been, looking to Broadway for a comeback.
The poison pen critic. The producer, with more money than sense. The moon-eyed newcomer.
Like I said, mercilessly funny, aimed at theatre souls.

Humanoids From The Deep - 1980 - 5/10
AKA - Monster // Midnight Love Thing (ha, sorry)

Creature feature that revels in excess, gore, nudity and general tastelessness.
Modest fishing town hosts annual salmon festival, and gets excited about brand spanking new canning factory!
Alcohol fuels male tempers into fights and more fights. Females mostly stay frisky.
Then, without warning, from the churning Pacific depths, a mutation surfaces.
It kills menfolk, it eats dogs and children, and women – it slips the willie in them.
While clearly a budget affair, the pace seldom plods and there is a pile of death and depravity for the drive-in crowd.

This ripoff of Alien was not trashy enough for Roger Corman, so when the original director balked at reshooting gratuitous bouncing knockers and multiple rapes, Corman fired her and hired another.