logo Sign In

Trooperman

User Group
Members
Join date
15-Feb-2005
Last activity
15-Jun-2015
Posts
1,406

Post History

Post
#126599
Topic
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side (the TM edit) (Released)
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/126599/action/topic#126599
Time
MagnoliaFan- thanks for the comments! (I didn't know you were reading this thread).

The way that I think of the monarchy issue...
England has a queen. She's a figurehead, but that's it. The nation is still run by elected officials.

If you removed the "elected queen" thing, that should be enough without making drastic changes to explain things that don't need to be explained.

That's a very good point- as a matter of fact, that makes a lot of sense. It also requires minimal work compared to the other option. And in thinking about this, lines like "We are a democracy! The people have decided," in Episode I actually make it quite clear that Naboo is a democracy, even with the born queen. Padme's statement in Episode III, then, is not hypocritical because 1. Her home planet is a democracy, 2. She's been a senator since II, and 3. Who cares at this point anyway?- it isn't as if someone comes out and points out that Padme was not elected democratically. We just take out the "elected" business and leave the audience to their own conclusions. I agree that there's no need to go to a lot of trouble explaining something when all the film requires is...a lack of explanation. No contradictions this way. In thinking about how to do it, it never occured to me that you could have Padme be non-democratically elected and still have Naboo as a democracy.

Everyone- that's the official press release on the issue of the "elected queen" and the monarchy. Case closed


MagnoliaFan-also want to take this opportunity to thank you for doing your own edits. I own the original "Balance" and "Clone War", and even hearing about them before I saw them partially inspired the dubbing for this project. I knew it wasn't a completely crazy idea because someone had done it already. And yours are the only other edits that I know of to enhance storyline and characters using subtitles like that. Great job!

I hope that you are not insulted or offended when I talk about your work or discuss using it for my own edit- but know that I appreciate it very much and that you are free to use any of my ideas, seeing as yours have been such a help to me. As I've said before, this edit wouldn't be possible without a great many other people, and you're definitely one of them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are a few screenshots to give everyone an example of what I'm doing for the droid factory scene.

http://img325.imageshack.us/img325/3345/sw21ti.jpg

Comparison:

http://img349.imageshack.us/img349/20/sw1a9ky.jpg
http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/3124/sw16ln.jpg


http://img324.imageshack.us/img324/9883/sw3a2aw.jpg
http://img321.imageshack.us/img321/2863/sw34mm.jpg


The general lighting of this turned out to be purple. I had originally made it red, but this interfered with the coloring of the blue saber. Therefore, I added some blue back in, and I came out with purple, which is still quite dramatic visually. Perhaps this will make up for the absence of Windu's purple saber

No mercy is being shown to the CG shots here. I'm changing a lot more CGI than I had planned on, simply because it's so easy and it makes such a difference in the realism of the images. I'm also going to stick to an earlier idea of mine to add white blaster flashes to the battle sequences (like in the original SW).

This visual stuff has just become very easy with my software.

Another question folks may have is... how are you going to encode the DVD? Will it be awful and pixelated, are you doing copies with the exact same bitrate for each scene, etc. I am rendering the whole film out as an uncompressed anamorphic AVI. I will then consult the official DVD for the bitrate of each individual scene, and I'll encode each scene to MPEG2 manually with the different bitrates and piece it together at the end, in an attempt to prevent too much quality loss.
Post
#126567
Topic
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side (the TM edit) (Released)
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/126567/action/topic#126567
Time
Sorry for the long delay- I'm very busy...

One question though, in the next scene Anakin is looking out a window? This would be Padme's apartment, but weren't you going to cut that scene?

Yes- partially. I'm cutting everything but the scene where Jar-Jar is given the task of being the Senator for Naboo in Padme's absence.

Jar-Jar (maybe subtitled): Don't worry your pretty little head about it, miss. With a brilliant political mind such as mine taking care of things, what could possibly go wrong?

CUT to Anakin looking over at Jar-Jar, then looking back out through the window. CUT to "Be safe, milady" in the next scene. (a transition would be odd for such a short scene)

Mace's lightsaber was blue for a long time in the EU before Lucas officially gave-in to Sam Jackson's request of purple. All that aside, I think it just looks better/suits him better than green.

Sounds good

Are we wanting to give Tatooine a theme here?

Not really- just more of a tribute, maybe.

So even with Dooku as a Sith, there is no "Darth Tyranus"? That would technically make him "Darth Dooku," and I'm not too sure about that.

Yeah, that does sound rather stupid, on second thought.

surely there is a good way to handle this.

???
I wasn't actually planning on Sidious saying, "Darth Dooku"- I was either going to cut that line completely or shorten it to, "Welcome home." Maybe Dooku was such a temporary project to Sidious (who was really working on Grievous) that he didn't even bother to give him the "Darth" title. Still thinking about this...

Naboo=Monarchy issue:

I honestly don't know. As it stands, Padme is a senator in II and III because I think you'd lose more than you'd gain from the scenes and clips of scenes you'd have to cut to make it work. Honestly, that aspect of it never bothered me.

However, the "elected at 14" thing seems very silly as well, especially since she does say that she wasn't the youngest queen ever elected. If that line is the most bothersome, I can change it to, "I was the youngest queen ever elected, and I'm not sure I was ready."

Jar-Jar: Pretty much depends on whether I can get a foreign language DVD (like German) that won't be as recognizable as Spanish or French. But if he has an alien language, then so will the Nemoidians and the other Gungans. I really want Jar-Jar to have kind of Australian/British subtitles (using "lad" and "jolly good time" and things like that). I could also easily lower his voice if that is an irritation.

And you keep referring to MagnoliaFan as Kevin, as in Kevin Smith, but I think it's been pretty much confirmed he is NOT Kevin Smith.

No comment, except...don't be so sure.

Your dream notes sound fantastic. You've gone the extra mile to make that beat work. Now Anakin will be so much more sympathetic.

I can't wait for everyone to see that. Out of everything I've done so far, I'm most proud of this.

As for adding a Dukoo line before his death in Ep III -- the line could be as simple as "Wait--!" which has to exist somewhere in LOTR or SW.

I would look through LOTR when doing this scene for III- I'm sure it's there somewhere.

Which means I'd better volunteer to be Lama Su if you still need someone. I can get access to equipment if you can tell me what you need me to do.

Thanks a lot- actually, I have one person already signed up to do it (and he'll do it if no one else auditions). ChainsawAsh was originally going to do it, but he had video card/sound card problems and was not able to do it. However, if you really are available to do voices, it would be a wonderful resource in the future. Thank you!

-------------------------
Hi, Darthpreston! I agree with everything you've said regarding the music. I have a html doc containing all of the music cuts that were made for Episode II- and it's an unbelievable mess. I definitely want to turn the music up and make it flow as it should.

There's actually alot of good acting moments in the prequel trilogy that could be especially punctuated if the music had been more emotional or even up to a decent feeling in the mix.

I agree- and that's also a John Williams problem. Listen to how carefully crafted the battle music for the attack on the Death Star was, and then listen to the music for the arena. BIG difference. The arena and the clone war will have sound mixes almost completely from scratch.

Now, i think that the same could/ and should be done for episodes I and III. And by that I mean a total overhaul similar to the work being done to Shroud of the Dark Side.

There are some wonderful ideas in this thread for Episode III. I'd love to hear your ideas, though!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

First four minutes of the film are completed (except for the crawl). Done. Final video and final sound mix. Now, I'm working on the droid factory sequence. This is undergoing dramatically different color correction. And I have a question for Lucas and Co.- Why didn't you adjust brightness, contrast, saturation, and color after completing the shots? Because the CGI looks so realistic in the droid factory scene now, it isn't funny. It's more dramatic to see the silhouettes of the machines than bright red chords and bright yellow trays.

More on this in the near future (with screenshots)
Post
#125366
Topic
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side (the TM edit) (Released)
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/125366/action/topic#125366
Time
Hello!- I am currently working on the nightmare sequence for the final cut of SotDS. Just a couple more changes I wanted to share:

-The Geonosians are not actually seen until the dark tunnel with Anakin and Padme- artistic thing.

Remember the alien in Coruscant that goes, “What the…” in a high-pitched, corny voice? I’ve replaced that voice with a recording of George Lucas himself doing that line in a falsetto.

I really like the way you are handling the dreams, and would suggest altering those in RotS to match. It seems MagnoliaFan is doing something similar in his dream, incorporating dialogue from Qui-Gon and Shmi as well. I would edit it just a bit different from you however:

Qui-Gon: It will be a hard life. One without reward. One without remorse. One with regret.
Shmi: Don't look back. Anakin...
Anakin: Mother...
(Images and sounds of Tuskens attacking (from ANH), and beat up Shmi)
Anakin: No...please, no...mom!
(Cut to the close up of Anakin awakening from his nightmare)

I'd be against intercutting Anakin squirming in bed, as it takes focus away from the dream and just look awkward. The final shot of him opening his eyes at the end would be more effective, IMO.

I now have a final cut of the nightmare, with music. Now, all I need to do is add sound effects and dialogue and I’ll be done. As I was editing this and looking at my very limited Tusken Raider footage, I started experimenting with different things (horizontal flips, color changes, reversing the footage). When it was done and synchronized with music, it was magic. The music is very well synchronized with the dream. However, the dream turned out to be a lot more brutal than what we had talked about. I think this is justified because it can be argued that this is one of the two most critical scenes in the saga (the other being the dream from Episode III). I also have not blurred this dream in the same way as in III- perhaps, as you suggested, I can modify the one in III to match this one:

(black screen)
Qui-Gon: It will be a hard life. One without reward. One without remorse. One with regret.
(fade into footage of Tusken tents with flickering fires. Fade into shot of Shmi as dialogue goes…)
Shmi: Don’t look back. Anakin…
Anakin: Mother…
(Anakin is not seen)
Tusken Raider raises his staff. Red/orange clouds in background- scary. Also, scary lighting- slight gaussian blur effect are used for Raiders. Quick fade to large closeup of Shmi- still alive but clearly in pain.

Then, using only about three short usable shots of the Tuskens from the original SW, I’ve created a sequence where two (or maybe more- we don’t know) Tuskens beat Shmi to death. We see this in surprising detail. The sequence was created with color changes, vertical flips, and quick cuts/editing tricks. There are a few frames where you can see a figure in rags that they’re beating- this is actually Luke Skywalker, but you can’t tell and assume that it’s Shmi. Shot by shot:

Tusken slams his staff down on Shmi.
Other Tusken raises his staff with both hands.
Both Tuskens have raised staffs.
One slams his staff down, then the other.
The first Tusken raises his staff in the air. (from here on, it’s pretty brutal)
One Tusken hits her, then the other one, then the first one again…
Then, by reversing and forwarding the same shot, we see a Tusken beat her, raise his staff, beat her again, raise his staff (very quickly), etc. He does this about 5 times, beating and beating her. Meanwhile, we’re crossfading this with image of dead Shmi, eyes off in the distance and mouth hanging open.
During this sequence, we have sound effects of 1. Tuskens grunting and howling 2. Shmi screaming 3. The thump of every hit as the gaffi sticks hit the body.

The Tusken finishes beating her and raises his staff up and down in triumph. Scary lighting again. This shot is slowed down by a bit. Then, we fade to a close-up of Shmi, clearly dead. Then, we crossfade this close-up of dead Shmi with a slow zoom of Anakin in bed (from the dream). Cut to a close-up of Anakin in bed (at which time crossfade of Shmi goes away) and music builds and climaxes at the transition. We’re at the next scene, with Anakin staring out through the window.

Now, THAT is what I call an incentive to turn to the dark side. I hope others agree. Many shots in this sequence were actually accomplished by taking shots from the full-screen DVD and turning them into anamorphic widescreen to get the close-ups I needed. That took a while to figure out.

But watching this with just music (no sound effects yet)- it’s really magic for me. Very, very powerful scene now. I’ll post screenshots after I’ve finalized everything.

If you're going to change Mace's blade color, blue is definitely what to make it. I'm sure you'll be a good judge of whether it looks good or not.

I agree with CC that blue would be the best color.

Sure-I can make it blue. Is the problem with green that the purple might show through, while if you use blue, it wouldn’t be a big deal?


I quite liked the "Seperatist Theme" used in AotC, very subtle, but effective. The Holst will be a neat alteration though. And I'm glad you decided against using the 2001 motif at the beginning of the duel (too recognizable).

I liked the Separatist theme as well- I’m definitely not cutting any of that. The Holst motif is just used at several dramatic points involving Dooku, when formerly the music was just an indistinct blur. By the end, when you hear those four notes, you can identify them with Doou. Similarly, in Episode III, when Palpatine says, “Count Dooku,” and we see Dooku accompanied by battle droids- the motif will go there as well. It’s important for me to tie things up musically between the films as well.

And yes, I decided against the Space Odyssey theme for the beginning of the duel. Although I liked the idea, I realized that that is way too well-known to use for this. Even so, what do you think of a small hint of the “Lawrence of Arabia” theme when Anakin and Padme come to Tatooine?

You seem to have thought through everything about Dooku being a Sith, and I do like him and Sidious' final scene. A future RotS change I think is necessary with this would be a sound clip of Christopher Lee saying something along the lines of, "Wait! You don't understand!" Then Anakin cuts his head off.

That’s a good idea-would you know where to find the audio?
About the final scene with Dooku and Sidious- Palpatine no longer addresses Dooku as Tyrannus (the reference is also cut during the talk with Jango)

I can't believe I made the short list-- Righteous!
I'm honored to be on the short list! My extreme nerditude is paying off!

Indeed! You two have consistently provided excellent feedback with this (while nearly everyone else has lost interest) and therefore it seems fitting that you should be rewarded accordingly. Of course, a disc goes to Rikter because he distributes these and puts them on the Internet for others to see.

EXT. SPACESHIP
Anakin (OS): His signal's coming from deep underground. We have no idea where he's gone. We need a plan.
INT. SPACESHIP
Padme: See those columns of steam straight ahead?
Anakin: That'll do.

This sounds good.


I don't have much enthusiasm about Padme always being a queen (although I'm sorry to differ in opinion with our comrade, Commander Courage). I agree that her being a queen makes "princess Leia" sound more sensible -- except isn't it supposed to be a secret that Padme is princess Leia's mom? That point doesn't really matter because it seems muddled in the current Saga anyway. But my objections center upon this: the theme of democracy vs. totalitarianism is the strongest, most important theme in the overall PT. Making Naboo a monarchy kind of defeats a lot of that-- which I'm against. Padme's best line in Ep III may be the one to the effect of: "So this is how freedom dies, to the sound of loud applause." Kind of an ironic statement from a born Royal. As a non-democratically chosen leader, she should be at home seeing an Emperor take over the Federation.

I had never thought of that…hmmm. The way I really wanted to do this was for Padme to be a queen from birth, and then she resigns for some reason and becomes a Senator for II and III. Maybe she resigns because she doesn’t believe in the monarchy. I’ll really have to think about how to do this.

I keep looking at the way the beasts come at Anakin/Padme/Obi Wan in the arena. I'm convinced the order they attack can be changed so Obi Wan comes last. The effect of this change maintains story momentum because it keeps the roles as they've been established: Obi Wan is the captor; Anakin and Padme are the rescuers. Having Obi Wan get attacked first chops off the connection between this scene and the ones that precede it.

That’s a very good idea- I’ll try cutting it in that order.

The real trick would be if Jar Jar could be made into a truly fun and interesting character in Episode I -- I suspect he could actually be made cool as opposed to just tolerable if his material were massaged enough.

Ha ha- every PT editor is confronted with the problem of Jar-Jar. There’s only so much you can do with a CG character that looks like he does. The problem is that I have to confront this problem now, instead of just waiting until I- because Jar-Jar is a character in this one, too.

What do you think of Jar-Jar…speaking in English with either an uneducated British accent or an Australian accent? This would make him different and in contrast with all the other Gungans. It could also possibly give him some charm and wit lacking in any of the other versions. Utilizing some of the Magnoliafan subtitles and some of the original material (and my own ideas), his new dialogue would be recorded in synch with the character’s lips (not hard, as it’s a CG character).

Jar-Jar’s greeting: Obi-Wan- so nice to see you! Nice beard you have there. And who is this lad? It can’t be…
Obi-Wan: Anakin.
Jar-Jar: Anakin- great to see you again, old boy! Senator- the Jedi are here!

You may laugh (at how different this would be from the original Jar-Jar), but this could work out very well. There’s only one problem- I can’t personally do six different voices and expect them to all come out differently. Nobody who has the technology and talent wants to help because I haven’t contributed anything yet and they don’t trust that I can do a good job yet. Look at MagnoliaFan’s thread- the “Bizzle” is offering to record dialogue for Kevin’s new edits. He goes to my thread and says, “What a waste of time.” The truth is, not too many people are interested in my edit. And they won’t be until they actually see it (at which point it’ll be too late).

Thanks- more updates soon!

Trooperman
Post
#125117
Topic
Help Wanted: Auditions for Lama-Su
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/125117/action/topic#125117
Time

This really belongs in the “Shroud of the Dark Side” thread, but since posts are lengthy there and not many people visit, I wanted to do this in another thread so that it would be noticed:

I am looking for a capable voice actor to record dialogue in lip-synch with the character of Lama-Su in my Episode II edit. He only has two scenes (not a lot for someone to record and send to me) but I would like to rerecord his revised dialogue. Whether it happens or not won’t really affect the plot of the film or any of the others- but it would be very nice and would certainly strengthen the movie The things I’d like to change involve redoing the Sypho-Dias dialogue (to say something else), making Boba Fett Jango’s natural son, and incorporating some dialogue revealing that cloning has moral issues as well. Lama-Su’s new interaction with Obi-Wan will show that Obi-Wan is not impressed with the clones because they are slaves from birth.

All interested parties can PM me for my email address, so that you may mail me a voice sample of one of Lama-Su’s lines. It would be best if this person was adult and had a kind of sinister voice (similar to the one in the original movie), but don’t let that stop you if you’d like to try. You don’t need a fancy audio recording program- just mail me audio file (mp3 or wav is fine), and I’ll do the rest. Quality doesn’t matter yet (uncompressed stereo wav) because these are just auditions. It’s probably a fun thing to do if you’re into this type of thing or if you’ve always wanted to be in a SW movie somehow, especially considering what relatively little time is involved. After the auditions, I will contact the winner, give them a script and vocal instructions for the two Lama-Su scenes, and I’ll get their full name as well, so that they can be credited properly at the end of the film.

If you’re interested, then please PM me for details, record the line of dialogue and email it to me. Easy as that. Audition deadline is August 10th.

Post
#124692
Topic
Tech Question
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/124692/action/topic#124692
Time
Thanks. The reason I would need a program to replace AC3 with PCM in one shot (while keeping video intact) is because for some reason, Vegas Movie Studio is automatically doing a pulldown from 29.97 to 24 fps. Only problem is that the time ruler doesn't realize that, and it shows the video as running shorter than it actually does. So when I try to add a .wav file, the wav (which shows up at the correct length of time) is too long, and I can't edit video and sound together (Movie Studio doesn't recognize AC3). I don't want to export yet, because when I do, it'll be uncompressed AVI (which I can compress to MPEG-2 with a better program than the one built into Vegas.

Thanks for the help
Post
#124742
Topic
George's directorial style
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/124742/action/topic#124742
Time
This is a thread to talk about different aspects of Lucas' direction that run through all of his Star Wars films.

I'll start with one that really sticks out to me- George Lucas always directs actors with belts on to put both of their hands on their belt. Obi-Wan does it, Darth Vader does it, Count Dooku does it in the arena in II- even look at the deleted Jabba the Hutt scene from SW- Jabba does it. Palpatine does it several times in the PT. It would be a coincidence did it not happen so many times when he directed.

Any others?
Post
#124619
Topic
Tech Question
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/124619/action/topic#124619
Time
Hello again- just wondering if any of you know of a bit of freeware that could convert an mpg with AC3 into an mpg with .wav audio- without actually changing any of the video (direct stream copy). I know I could do it separately using more steps, but does anyone know how one might do that?

Thanks!
Post
#124617
Topic
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side (the TM edit) (Released)
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/124617/action/topic#124617
Time
OK- here goes, guys. There’s a dreadful amount of stuff to cover here, so I will take the suggestions one at a time and try not to skip anything.


In broad strokes, I propose that Anakin goes to aid Obi Wan NOT because it's the right thing to do-- but (since he's mad about his mom) because he gets pushed into it. At first, Anakin is ambivalent enough to follow orders and let the other Jedi handle the rescue (which, we learn, would have worked out fine). He doesn't feel compelled to save Obi Wan until Padme decides it's her job. To avoid seeming "sickeningly PC" ;-)-- this has to be character driven. That means every cut that leads up to this decision has to support a clear point: that Anakin isn't sure what he wants to do, but Padme is.

Then, once he takes on Padme's challenge, he's there for the job and handles himself as best he can, but doesn't come around to be Obi Wan's friend again until their shouting match about saving Padme. Until the moment he agrees with Obi Wan, he's really only there for Padme and hasn't regained any respect for Obi Wan.

It's after he hears Obi Wan's compliments and Obi Wan's logic about what Padme would want that Anakin becomes, once again, a Jedi Apprentice.

I see- that’s a really good idea. Also, as you said, it gives the movie more of an actual story than it had before. Obi-Wan is keeping Anakin from saving his mother. He goes anyway and she dies. Anakin is angry at Obi-Wan for the rest of the film, until the gunship scene. At the end, they are friends again in their common goal to fight Dooku, after Anakin realises the logic in Obi-Wan’s argument. There are still some things I’d rather not do as you suggested, but I’ll discuss those below.

C3P0: "...Obi Wan Kenobi. Master Anni..."

Just thought I’d mention that whenever possible, “Anni” is replaced with “Anakin.” A stylistic thing. I’m doing the same with the word “mom”- Anakin says “mother” in the dream- as well as “boyfriend”, “girlfriend”, and other words that don’t seem to fit in my opinion.

OBI WAN: (on tape) "Anakin..."
CUT TO: CU of unhappy Anakin as the message continues to play. Then...
CUT TO: Master shot again until Padme turns... (cutting on motion)
CUT TO: CU of Anakin as Obi Wan instructs them to relay the message... (cutting on motion)
CUT TO: CU of Padme as she turns to the button. CU on button, etc.

Aha! So we’re using editing (rather than dialogue) to imply that Anakin is in a quandary about what to do here. The only trouble is that I have only 2 or 3 CU’s of Anakin from that scene. I can play with them (reverse them, change their speed, etc.) but the material is limited. Good idea, though.

In showing this attack, reverse the close-ups of Padme and Anni. Start on Anni's reaction. He's surprised, but not moved... Cut to Padme, turning to Anni to see his reaction-- she's surprised by his reaction as well as by the message itself.

I can do that…

Mace: "Your most important thing is [cut] to protect the Senator at all costs."
(losing the line "stay where you are.")

And that as well. I see now that removing that direct order does make them seem less immature. As it stands, you kind of wonder why Mace Windu didn’t take greater precautions that Anakin didn’t intervene with Palpatine. He told him to wait around in the chambers. He didn’t listen before- isn’t that a little bit dangerous? This way, it makes Anakin, Padme and Mace all seem less stupid.

CUT the line "He's like a father to me."

Yes, because now, Anakin is angry at his master. He’s not saying nice things about him for the remainder of the film…

As a side note, I think this darker version of the scene makes the 3P0 lines at the end about "never having done space travel" more appropriate, so I hope you keep them.

I have kept this.

"They ordered you to protect me, and I'm going, so you have to come."

The painful line was actually, “And I’m going to help Obi-Wan. If you protect me, you’ll just have to come along.” I’m changing that to, “I want to help Obi-Wan. You have to come.” Anakin: I will come. He walks to the pilot’s chair. Anakin: But I’m doing it for you.

That’s more than an implication- that’s a very specific statement that I think will give this scene the intended meaning, especially in the absence of…

The short Anakin/Padme interior of ship scene on Geonosis. This is cut (along with the thing with the droids afterwards). We see the ship land in the fog, and then we see Anakin and Padme exit the ship. However, I have taken the droid exchange from this little deleted sequence and dubbed it over their second conversation, like so:

REPLACE: For a mechanic, you seem to do an excessive amount of thinking. WITH If they had needed our help, they would have asked for it, hmm?
REPLACE: I am programmed to understand humans! WITH You obviously have a great deal to learn about human behavior.
Next line is- Where are you going now? Etc.(CUT What does that mean? That means I am in charge here).
End the droid scene with 3PO saying: Have you no sense at all? Extend (probably slow the speed of) shot a bit to fit in the last word or two. Then cut to Anakin and Padme.


I suggest a line like this:
EXT. FLYING SPACE SHIP OVER GEONOSIS
Anakin: (V.O.) "We have no idea where he is. If I'm to protect you, we need a plan."
INT. FLYING SPACESHIP
Padme: "See those columns of steam straight ahead?-- they're exhaust vents of some type."
Anakin: "That'll do."

EXT. FLYING SPACE SHIP OVER GEONOSIS
Anakin: (V.O.) "We have no idea where he is. And frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Do you have a plan?

Just kidding (no Gone With the Wind here)


What about this:

INT. FLYING SPACESHIP
Anakin: We have no idea where Kenobi got himself incarcerated this time. So we need a plan.
Padme: See those columns of steam straight ahead?
Anakin: That'll do.

(I considered incorporating “He’s as clumsy as he is stupid,” but it’s too much of a nod to the OT). This is very hostile, though- is it too much so, in your opinion?

[OMIT the reference of "Obi Wan's going to kill me" when his light saber's destroyed]

Fine- I loved, “Obi-Wan’ll burn me alive,” but even that doesn’t fit with Anakin’s new hostility toward Obi-Wan.

Here's a big moment: Obi Wan and Anakin see each other for the first time. Obi Wan's surprised-- Anakin DOES NOT SMILE at him. He glares. Obi Wan rolls eyes.

Absolutely.

The couple are chained up and Obi Wan says "I wondered if you got my message." Anakin replies as scripted-- but the line reading is sinister and flat. "We got it. Then we came to save you, dick-head." "Good job" cracks Obi Wan. Do NOT show the embarrassed Anakin reaction shot.

Yes, but even Anakin wouldn’t be so disrespectful. I think I’ll leave the actual line as-is: I’ll just record it in a more hostile way.

The animals come out. CUT Anakin's "I got a bad feeling about this" line-- CUT the "what about Padme" lines. Anakin and Padme have a plan. They spring into action and Obi Wan is the one playing "catch up"-- not Anakin.

Yes. The only thing I have to do is to find another spot to put “I have a bad feeling about this”- it’s a Star Wars tradition.

Recut the action of the beasts so that Anakin's beast ATTACKS FIRST.
Then Padme's.
Then Obi Wan's. Obi Wan is left tied up the longest, the last to be attacked and the last to escape.

I’ll see if I can’t do that.


As the beast stabs at Obi Wan, pump up the anxiety with bigger BOOM Sound FX as the beast misses and crushes the ground.

Keep the tension building on OBI WAN and PADME as their struggles play out. Keep the Anakin "training the beast" beat for last. In other words, let the beats of Obi Wan and Padme play out AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE before Anakin gets anywhere with his attempt to train his beast. BUT...

Once things are terrible and Anakin approaches his beast with his hand outstretched-- play the FORCE MUSIC CUE. The force has a strong effect on the weak minded. Let's hear it -- and now we know Anakin's plan.

Then, in much more rapid cuts than the present edit, Anakin rescues Padme and Obi Wan. Let Anakin's success unravel their mess more quickly and directly.

Excellent ideas. Anakin=hero, while Padme and Obi-Wan almost get creamed. Again reinforcing Anakin’s ability.

THE DROIDS roll out... MUSIC CUE: when these droids come we need much scarier music. This should sound like the end of the frickin' world!

Don’t worry about that…

(As a side note in this battle: PLEASE cut the beat where Padme and Anakin jump onto the chariot and run around.

Yes.

Natalie Portman looks so silly holding that gun.

Exactly my thoughts on the subject.


The last great Anakin beats come as he and Padme ride with Obi Wan on the gun boat. Anakin naturally takes charge: Shoot at the fuel, he says. Good idea, compliments Obi Wan. That's a nice change-- maybe Obi Wan's not so bad...

Then Padme drops out and Anni goes nuts. Obi Wan gets in his face and challenges Anakin to now or never act like a Jedi! Anakin accepts the challenge and lets Padme go. Maybe a special music cue is called for here, I don't know. But this is the key moment at the climax of this character story.

Perhaps this is a good spot for a full-blown rendition of Anakin’s theme from Episode I- there’s a particular section I loved that was only found on the CD and never actually used in the movies. That would bump up the content a great deal emotionally (as it would with any scene it’s used in). Also, I think that the use of that theme would make even more sense when using the line, "I won't lose her like I lost my mother!" because the theme hearkens back to Episode I, Tatooine, and Shmi/Anakin relationship specifically.

I hope these ideas are clear. Thanks, Trooperman. I love working on this.

As do I- I’m so happy I have people like you to chat about this with. As I said before, you have much clearer ideas about the “Anakin character” part of Episode II than I did when I started on this, and some very brilliant twists on existing scenes to accomplish it. This is the type of input and feedback I hoped for when I put this project on the net. Thanks!


As for the "suicidally stupid" attack on Dukoo-- I think the important thing to cover is that it at least seems like a good idea. If Obi Wan says "Don't rush him" and Anakin rushes him-- it's like comedy. So the quick fix is to not have Obi Wan say "Don't rush him." If it could be worked into an even better beat, say, Anakin shows some patience, then Dukoo baits him and Anakin finally sees a chance and attacks what he thinks is a weakness-- well that would be awesome. If it can look like Anakin's doing something great and decisive only to be stopped dead, shocking him and the audience as well-- that's the best possible version of that beat.

It’s tricky- it’s rather limited as to what you can and cannot do with the entrance. I’ll see what I can do, though. It will be improved, however. How I've ended this scene now is not with Anakin lying on the floor, but with Dooku igniting his red saber. It's a revelation. Then, we cut to the battle outside. Up until this point, I've cut all references to "master" and made it seem as though Dooku might not actually be a Sith- so the red saber is a turning point. They have an enemy.

Oh, and also.- Han/Leia theme will not be in the prequels. But as I said, I might be able to slip in a subtle little variation in a scene (you’ll have to listen for it) as a tribute.

Thanks!

------------------------------------------
Commander Courage:

Qui-Gon: I've been thinking of ways to expand his role in the saga, as he is also my favorite charcter in the prequels (Liam Neeson is also my favorite actor). A good source would be the Episode 1 tone poems (I've mentioned these before in one of Obi-wanton's threads). I don't know if you're familiar with them

Absolutely! Thank goodness, there’s a tone poem featuring Shmi as well- this was great when working on the dream sequence (“Don’t look back”)

However, based on how you are handling his dreams, they would be an ideal place in insert the voice of Qui-Gon.

The Episode II dream has evolved into a rather long and kind of abstract piece of work, so just about anything can fit at this point.

Qui-Gon: It will be a hard life. One without reward. One with regret.
Shmi: Don’t look back. Anakin…
Anakin: Mother…
Image of beaten-up Shmi fades in (from black). Crossfade with Tuskens and also Anakin in bed, speaking in fragments
Anakin: No…please, no…mother…!!!!


That would work very well, actually. And Qui-Gon starts off the dream.

You mentioned rotoscoping lightsaber before; I would love to get a screenshot of your attempts.

Sure:
http://img345.imageshack.us/img345/2424/zmace1blue4al.jpg
http://img345.imageshack.us/img345/3109/zmace2blue4uz.jpg

Or, I could do this…
http://img345.imageshack.us/img345/6547/zmace10od.jpg
http://img345.imageshack.us/img345/5728/zmace20mx.jpg

I should post screenshots more often- I'll try to do it more.

As far as the overall music goes, I'm really excited to see how your alterations it into the film, as music (especially in Star Wars) can make a HUGE difference. Though I like the choice of "Uranus" as Dooku's theme, don't you think it's a bit bombastic, and is bound to get repetitive after awhile. Although you might have all this worked out already and rearranged it. Either way I think this merits more discussion.

Certainly. Dooku doesn’t really have a theme as much as just the 4-note motif from Uranus, and it doesn’t show up often- only once in a while for dramatic effect. For instance, it’s introduced when Dooku enters the interrogation room (where Obi-Wan is held). It is heard again in the arena as Dooku comes out. And finally, as Dooku turns around to face Obi-Wan and Anakin, it is used again.

Overall discussion about Count Dooku:

I still think that Count Dooku works better as a Sith. Star Wars has traditionally been very clear about who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. I like the Dooku is a Sith who realizes too late that he is completely disposable when someone better comes along. I just love when Palpatine says, "Kill him" and Dooku turns to look at him. I trusted you!

However, whether I decide to do Maul=Grievous or not will not affect Dooku's being a Sith in Episode II because in Episode I, Yoda's line will be changed to, "Always two there are; a master and an apprentice." Rather open-ended. And if I remember correctly, there was a very turbulent discussion over this in the beginning of Kevin's thread. However, I think that this is the best choice- but I can always change it to fit the other 2, as I'm doing Episode I last.

I have to get III done before I to complete my recording for Anakin. Without III, II is incompatible in SW. Another big picture plan- for Episode I, I am going to use a prologue before the Main Titles. It seems fitting to provide some history before beginning a 6-film saga. So we have the fanfare along with the Fox Logo, Lucasfilm Lmtd., etc. etc. Then, instead of going directly to "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away," we go to a new frame of text. "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a great war. The Jedi Knights, guardians of peace and justice..." etc. We have brief shots of battles and spaceships and other things in between the background story. I'll need to do research into the EU for ideas on this.

Anyway (getting off-topic)...

I don't have time to expand on the logistic of Queen Padme Amildala, but I will I get the chance.

Please do!

What I've been keeping in mind, and I hope we all will, is that Episode 2 in whatever form it mayt be needs to be able to fit into Episode 3.

Definitely. I don't want to get into the Maul=Grievous discussion in this particular thread, as that's an Episode III/I problem, but I've definitely been thinking about how to tie things in to III and I. Jar-Jar is extremely difficult, because although he has only a handful of lines in this one, I have to use the same technique extensively in I (whatever it happens to be). However, I still think Dooku with a red saber and the "meeting with Sidious" scene at the end would fit in regardless of the Grievous issue.

Thanks very much for all the suggestions!

----------------------------------------------------

MTHaslett:Anyway, my whole neighborhood is keeping you in their prayers at night, Trooperman. May the Force be with you and all those midiclorians in your blood.

You haven't really told your whole neighborhood about this, have you? At present, I am only committed to sending out 3 copies of this- one to Rikter, one to MTHaslett, and one to Commander Courage. I can't commit to any more, so Rikter will be the distributor (unless MTH or CC make copies as well).

And also, everyone- please don't complain if I lag behind on this project. I'm working at the fastest rate possible right now, and it would kill me not to meet the deadline, but if I don't- it wasn't on purpose and there's nothing I can do.

Thanks for all your support and suggestions, everyone! I don't know what I'd do without you. I hope that if this edit is successful, it will start a trend of talking with different people about your edit before you begin, picking up previous edits for ideas, and in general not doing the whole thing in solitude.

Trooperman

EDIT: NO midichlorians in my cuts. None. "He could manipulate the Force to create life," will be Palpatine's line, as has been done in other edits.