Superweapon VII

C817

C818

C820

C823

C824

C825

It’s All Bulls Hit

She’s in Parties

Problems though I have with Batman Forever, Val Kilmer isn’t one of them. Truth be told, he’s my favourite live action Batman/Bruce Wayne.

JadedSkywalker said:

But i have the same problem with them i do with the DIsney trilogy they don’t look used universe. They look too new and shiny.

I’ve never understood this complaint about the prequels. Now, I think the art direction for the PT is definitely off in many regards; there should’ve been a more retro-futuristic/fantasy aesthetic than what was presented. But being set before the dark times, things should look new and shiny.

Yeah, sorry, no. This movie’s not for me.

I’m a big Superman fan, but with this caveat: My favourite versions of the character are the original Siegel-&-Shuster Superman and the “Triangle Era” Superman from the comics; the further away any other version of the character are from that baseline, the less I like them. And I have a particular dislike of the pre-Crisis Earth-One Superman and Donnerverse Superman, which is what this movie’s clearly cribbing the most from. The moment I saw Krypto, my eyes glazed over. And don’t get me started on the shared universe noise they continue to shove down our collective throat.

Clearly, there’s an unbridgeable gulf between what I want in a Superman movie and what Hollywood’s willing to dish out.

Channel72 said:

I agree the Jedi should use lightsabers more sparingly. Although, the “defense only” thing is hard to salvage even with the OT alone, given that Kenobi was supposed to be a war-time General. Even in A New Hope, Kenobi violently murders those two alien thugs in the Cantina. It was self-defense, obviously, but Kenobi could have handled them in some non-lethal manner, presumably. I mean, he could have tried to “mind trick” them into leaving Luke alone, for example.

To play devil’s advocate, we don’t know from screen evidence alone that Ben killed either of them. We only see a severed limb. It’s only the screenplay and novelization which have them mortally wounded, IIRC.

JadedSkywalker said:

Warriors that can put down rebellions and can end conflicts but don’t seek them out because they are peacekeepers. And negotiators. Their entire bodies and minds are sharp and honed like a weapon, but they only use a lightsaber in defense, never for violence as its own end. The Sith use violence and intimidation to rule.

One thing I would’ve like to have seen in the prequels is the Jedi relying on martial arts to non-lethally dispatch their foes, utilizing their lightsabers only in kill-or-be-killed situations.

“This is pure Kafka.”

“Who’s Kafka‽ Tell me!”

“Come in, Booji Boy. You’re late. Have you got the papers the Chinaman gave you?”

“Here it is, Dad. Is it a surprise?”

“Yes, Booji. In the past, this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.”

“Oh, Dad, we’re all DEVO!”

Emily Loogman

G&G-Fan said:

I’ve heard several stories about how the reason for the Death Star II in ROTJ is because Lucas originally wanted to save the Death Star for last, but didn’t think he’d be able to make more then one movie.

That just leaves me to wonder: what would it even be like if he had stuck with that plan, saving the Death Star for the 3rd film in the trilogy, and thus ANH was without the Death Star? A huge chunk of the plot revolves around it. It almost seems impossible to imagine the film without it. In that case, what was he thinking the movie would be about?

Some possibilities:

• We’d have seen an incomplete Death Star (possibly resembling the Death Star II).
• Instead of being obliterated by the Death Star, Alderaan would’ve been nuked from orbit by the Devastator.
• Leia’s imprisonment/rescue would’ve been staged on the Devastator instead of the Death Star.
• The movie would’ve been shorter, ending an a cliffhanger with the Falcon’s escape.

Presumably the events of TESB could’ve happened sooner, days or weeks after SW, with Vader remaining subordinate to Tarkin, who would’ve survived to the end of the trilogy.

Mocata said:

Kinda neat but also AI garbage, so there it is. If someone actually used their imagination and talent to design these I’d show some appreciation.

Indeed. At least these two examples avoid the male-gazeiness which saturate the majority of these slop trailers.

“I wanna shoot you so bad, my dick’s hard.”

Bingowings said:

My username is explained elsewhere in the thread. My current avatar isn’t one. It’s me in a Zombie movie.

I figured you were just channelling the mad monk Rasputin.

The memes.

Glower Power

Jocko Homo

Make Anti-Art, Not War

Meshugge

Sub-Creation

Tommy Wiseau’s a Bottom

What, Me Subtle?

You Gonna Get Fisted

You’ll Be Saying “Sham” Everytime

You Rang?

Why You Little-!

Wilde Thing

Will You Marry Me?

Witless Nostalgia

Worship Music for the Jilted Generation

Yawa Meton-i?

YHWH

You Are My Side Effect

You Could Make Me Free as I Get Lost in the Rhythm of Your Mystery

You Couldn’t Make “Blazing Saddles” Today

Mocata said:

Apparently every species has the same blood, not just the human ones.

Ponda Baba’s blood looked more brown than red to me.

Hal 9000 said:

Did all the humans in Star Wars have a common ancestor on a planet or did at least some of them develop independently?

I used to go with the former, but now I prefer the latter. I’d rather the SW Universe operate on fantastical laws than futilely try to shoehorn realistic physics into it.

Violating the Aneristic Principle

Viridescent

Wallopin’ Web-Snappers!

Want

Watching Porn with Daddy

We’re Having a Psionic Blast

What a Long, Strange Trip It’s Been

When Reality Fails to Live Up to Nostalgia

When the Feds Raided the Turtle Club Orgy

Where’s Your Chosen One Now?

I freed willy once. The pigs beat me in response, then I was fined $10,000.

C816

The Transformed Man

Triple Entendre

The Trinity’s Unbiblical (Not That There’s Anything Wrong with That)

Turning Water Into Grape Juice

Tutti Frutti

Ungeheuren Ungeziefer

Updates are Underway. Please Keep Your Computer On

Utopia or Tritanopia?

Vicinity of Obscenity

The Black Muscle Babe Bearing Jeremy Bentham’s Fly Agaric’d Head Brought a Pocket Universe with Her Sister from Another Mister Nearby

Superman Un-Dies

Teal

Tee Hee! That Tickles!

Telepyrosis

That’s Some Bad Hat, Lenny

There Are -9,067 Days Remaining

Thinking with the Wrong Pyramid Head Yet Again

This Abandonware Might be Harmful to Your Computer

Thoughtography

act on instinct said:

Mocata said:

act on instinct said:

Channel72 said:

It’s just so hard to take Star Wars seriously if Rise of Skywalker is actually a thing that happened. Where do you even go after “secret fleet of 10,000 Star Destroyer Death Stars” and “Palpatine magically returns and electrocutes the sky”?? I can’t take it seriously after that because we are now firmly in the Spaceballs Universe and only Mel Brooks should be allowed to direct from now on.

I have a suggestion but I am holding it for ransom from The Walt Disney Company.

The classic “it was all a dream” cold open?

Too stale. Kick up a notch by making it a dream within a dream*.

*Within another dream if you’re feeling especially creative, but proceed with caution.