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RicOlie_2

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Join date
6-Jun-2013
Last activity
25-Jul-2025
Posts
5,622

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Post
#704208
Topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/704208/action/topic#704208
Time

I'm glad you were able to overcome your writer's block--at least temporarily.

My only complaint (which could be considered a fairly big one) is that the dialogue before they arrive at the prison is really clumsy and unnatural. You've had a lot of good dialogue before, but this time it feels too much like the style of the narrative rather than dialogue. Star Wars dialogue in the OT tends to be similarly clumsy or unnaturally wordy like that in places, especially when Leia is speaking, but I think you could improve the flow of it at least a little more.

Looking over it a second time, I think a big problem with it is that you fall into "as you know..." type of dialogue, having Siri and Ben explain things which they would both already know.

Here's a slightly revised version of that dialogue, just to give you a better idea of what in particular seems awkward to me (it isn't the best either, but hopefully it helps):

SIRI: (smirking) Impossible to tell without knowing more about the environment and terrain of this place. What little we saw of the spaceport when we were unloaded isn't enough for us to figure out where we are. For all we know, we're deep inside the Unknown Regions.to indicate where in the galaxy we are. We could be deep inside the Unknown Regions, far from any charted system.

OBI-WAN: (regarding the walls of the transport) They've incorporated Mandalorian iron into the walls of the transport.

SIRI: Looks like [a]n alloy with Mandalorian iron as a component, I'd wager. Not as strong as the pure stuff,  but still incredibly strong.

OBI-WAN: That makes it a bit more difficult to escape. Making a conventional breakout unfeasible.

SIRI: The framework is probably the same way also laced with Mandalorian iron, making the armour even stronger.

OBI-WAN: But if we -- the two of us along with the other prisoners -- could establish a rapport, pool our collective power in the Force --

SIRI: (shaking her head) It's not going to happen. Were everyone aboard a fully trained adept, it'd be possible, but most of the prisoners are too inexperienced, untrained, undisciplined. And [t]here simply isn't enough time to teach them how to coordinate their hearts and minds for such an effort.

OBI-WAN: (sighing) I suppose it wouldn't be an advisable course of action, anyway, without knowing more about the world outside. The air could very well be toxic and unbreathable, or there could be intense radiation. filled with deadly corrosives, toxins, or contagions. The surface could be bathed in intense radiation or teeming with extraordinarily vicious creatures. We could be flying high in the sky, or diving deep under an ocean. Breaching the walls of this transport could mean certain death.

SIRI: All melodrama aside, you're correct. (beat) Even if we were to make a clean getaway, there's no guarantee the Mandalorians wouldn't be able to track us all down and round us all back up.

OBI-WAN: This is their home ground, they have the advantage. (beat) Perhaps our horizons will broaden once we reach our destination.

Post
#704042
Topic
Who'd like to try a chess variant? Now playing Xiang Qi, a.k.a. Chinese chess
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/704042/action/topic#704042
Time

B-b2

Well, I'm not trying to use my regular chess strategy, but I have to move my pawns to get most of my pieces out. That's what I'm trying to do, without exposing my forequeen or my king like I did last time. Since you don't have the disadvantage of having to move your pawns first, it's especially difficult to get my stronger pieces out without losing them.

Post
#703974
Topic
The Standalone Star Wars Films
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/703974/action/topic#703974
Time

Something new is what I want to see (but not entirely new--the species, locations, time period or something(s) has(/ve) to be familiar). I hope they go that direction. It's really impossible to say what they'll do, but I doubt any will have to do with the Clone Wars, rise of the Rebellion, Boba Fett (I think LFL & Disney probably know that many of us are sick of him by know--at least in the EU), Ewoks (they made two movies and a cartoon series already), etc.

I know the other thread would be better for this, but at this point I would like to see films about:

the Old Republic,

the Hutt Empire (with Jabba making an appearance at some point, if not being the main character),

and the history of the Trade Federation, Commerce Guild, and other commercial giants in the Star Wars universe.

Just kidding, I don't really know what I want from the third film yet. I'll have to think about it (maybe a space Pirates of the Caribbean?).

Post
#703922
Topic
ot.com keeps going down?
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/703922/action/topic#703922
Time

m_s0 said:

Johnny Ringo said:

Appears to be going down a bit differently for me now, dunno if that's helpful or we are still just playing the waiting game.

The main forum page loads fine [http://originaltrilogy.com/forum/] but anything I click there fails to load immediately.

Aside from the usual "going down" business I got this when trying to send a post:

The web site you are accessing has experienced an unexpected error.
Please contact the website administrator.

The following information is meant for the website developer for debugging purposes.
Error Occurred While Processing Request
Error Executing Database Query.
[Macromedia][SQLServer JDBC Driver][SQLServer]Transaction (Process ID 184) was deadlocked on lock | communication buffer resources with another process and has been chosen as the deadlock victim. Rerun the transaction.
 
The error occurred in E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 77
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 56
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 51
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 50
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 33
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 1
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 77
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 56
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 51
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 50
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 33
Called from E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm: line 1
 
75 : 					
76 : 					
77 : 					
78 : 				
79 :
SQLSTATE   40001
SQL   {call prcForumTopicReplyInsert( (param 1) , (param 2) , (param 3) , (param 4) , (param 5) , (param 6) , (param 7) , (param 8) , (param 9) , (param 10) , (param 11) , (param 12) , (param 13) , (param 14) , (param 15) , (param 16) )}
VENDORERRORCODE   1205
DATASOURCE   ot_forum
Resources:
Browser   Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 5.1; rv:29.0) Gecko/20100101 Firefox/29.0
Remote Address   178.37.26.82
Referrer   http://originaltrilogy.com/forum/topic-reply.cfm/topic/10550/quote/703847/
Date/Time   06-May-14 12:01 PM
Stack Trace
at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor4(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:77) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor5(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:56) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor6(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:51) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor8(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:50) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor13(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:33) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720.runPage(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:1) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor4(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:77) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor5(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:56) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor6(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:51) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor8(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:50) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor13(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:33) at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720.runPage(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:1) 

java.sql.SQLException: [Macromedia][SQLServer JDBC Driver][SQLServer]Transaction (Process ID 184) was deadlocked on lock | communication buffer resources with another process and has been chosen as the deadlock victim. Rerun the transaction.
	at macromedia.jdbc.base.BaseExceptions.createException(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.base.BaseExceptions.getException(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.sqlserver.tds.TDSRequest.processErrorToken(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.sqlserver.tds.TDSRequest.processReplyToken(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.sqlserver.tds.TDSRPCRequest.processReplyToken(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.sqlserver.tds.TDSRequest.processReply(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.sqlserver.SQLServerImplStatement.getNextResultType(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.base.BaseStatement.commonTransitionToState(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.base.BaseStatement.postImplExecute(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.base.BasePreparedStatement.postImplExecute(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.base.BaseStatement.commonExecute(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.base.BaseStatement.executeInternal(Unknown Source)
	at macromedia.jdbc.base.BasePreparedStatement.execute(Unknown Source)
	at coldfusion.server.j2ee.sql.JRunPreparedStatement.execute(JRunPreparedStatement.java:89)
	at coldfusion.sql.Executive.executeCall(Executive.java:860)
	at coldfusion.sql.Executive.executeCall(Executive.java:775)
	at coldfusion.sql.Executive.executeCall(Executive.java:726)
	at coldfusion.sql.SqlImpl.executeCall(SqlImpl.java:445)
	at coldfusion.tagext.sql.StoredProcTag.executeQuery(StoredProcTag.java:276)
	at coldfusion.tagext.sql.StoredProcTag.doEndTag(StoredProcTag.java:225)
	at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor4(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:77)
	at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor5(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:56)
	at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor6(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:51)
	at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor8(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:50)
	at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720._factor13(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:33)
	at cftopic2dreply2ecfm1672341720.runPage(E:\Inetpub\originaltrilogy.com\wwwroot\forum\topic-reply.cfm:1)
	at coldfusion.runtime.CfJspPage.invoke(CfJspPage.java:196)
	at coldfusion.tagext.lang.IncludeTag.doStartTag(IncludeTag.java:370)
	at coldfusion.filter.CfincludeFilter.invoke(CfincludeFilter.java:65)
	at coldfusion.filter.ApplicationFilter.invoke(ApplicationFilter.java:273)
	at coldfusion.filter.RequestMonitorFilter.invoke(RequestMonitorFilter.java:48)
	at coldfusion.filter.MonitoringFilter.invoke(MonitoringFilter.java:40)
	at coldfusion.filter.PathFilter.invoke(PathFilter.java:86)
	at coldfusion.filter.ExceptionFilter.invoke(ExceptionFilter.java:70)
	at coldfusion.filter.ClientScopePersistenceFilter.invoke(ClientScopePersistenceFilter.java:28)
	at coldfusion.filter.BrowserFilter.invoke(BrowserFilter.java:38)
	at coldfusion.filter.NoCacheFilter.invoke(NoCacheFilter.java:46)
	at coldfusion.filter.GlobalsFilter.invoke(GlobalsFilter.java:38)
	at coldfusion.filter.DatasourceFilter.invoke(DatasourceFilter.java:22)
	at coldfusion.filter.RequestThrottleFilter.invoke(RequestThrottleFilter.java:126)
	at coldfusion.CfmServlet.service(CfmServlet.java:175)
	at coldfusion.bootstrap.BootstrapServlet.service(BootstrapServlet.java:89)
	at jrun.servlet.FilterChain.doFilter(FilterChain.java:86)
	at coldfusion.monitor.event.MonitoringServletFilter.doFilter(MonitoringServletFilter.java:42)
	at coldfusion.bootstrap.BootstrapFilter.doFilter(BootstrapFilter.java:46)
	at jrun.servlet.FilterChain.doFilter(FilterChain.java:94)
	at jrun.servlet.FilterChain.service(FilterChain.java:101)
	at jrun.servlet.ServletInvoker.invoke(ServletInvoker.java:106)
	at jrun.servlet.JRunInvokerChain.invokeNext(JRunInvokerChain.java:42)
	at jrun.servlet.JRunRequestDispatcher.invoke(JRunRequestDispatcher.java:286)
	at jrun.servlet.ServletEngineService.dispatch(ServletEngineService.java:543)
	at jrun.servlet.jrpp.JRunProxyService.invokeRunnable(JRunProxyService.java:203)
	at jrunx.scheduler.ThreadPool$DownstreamMetrics.invokeRunnable(ThreadPool.java:320)
	at jrunx.scheduler.ThreadPool$ThreadThrottle.invokeRunnable(ThreadPool.java:428)
	at jrunx.scheduler.ThreadPool$UpstreamMetrics.invokeRunnable(ThreadPool.java:266)
	at jrunx.scheduler.WorkerThread.run(WorkerThread.java:66)

Exciting.

 That has happened to me many times, from long before the site started going down. I don't know what causes it, but all I have to do when that happens is refresh the page and my post posts. It doesn't seem to be the site actually going down.

Post
#703880
Topic
The Man Who LITERALLY Built Star Wars
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/703880/action/topic#703880
Time

m_s0 said:

RicOlie_2 said:

He isn't the same person he used to be, and that's unfortunate.

So you're basically saying you know the man in person?

 No, but isn't it obvious? People change as they age, and he certainly is no exception. I don't know how he changed in every way, and he's probably exactly the same way in certain respects as he was back in the '70s. The fact that he called remaking films "re-writing history" and then did the same himself a few years later demonstrates the way he changed in a certain area. In regards to movie-making, ideas, etc., he changed for the worse.

Post
#703771
Topic
Last movie seen
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/703771/action/topic#703771
Time

The music is 1970s, but the actual movie is 1921, I guess? Either that, or he means that the music was written in the 1870s. I don't know when Charlie was born or died though, so I can't really say.

EDIT: I'm pretty sure it's the former though. I just did the math and I realized Charlie would have to have been in his seventies by the time of the movie, if not older than that in the latter scenario!