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RRS-1980

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Join date
23-Mar-2003
Last activity
8-Mar-2019
Posts
993

Post History

Post
#106253
Topic
Yeah, its us OLD people George- thanks!
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/106253/action/topic#106253
Time
Quote
Originally posted by: G.L.
"We have two fan bases. One is over 25 and one is under 25," Lucas said. "The over-25 fan base is loyal to the first three films. They actually are in their 30s and 40s now, so they're in control of the media, they're in control of the Web, they're in control of everything, basically. So mostly, what you're hearing from are people over 25 years old.


Beep! Wrong! I'm still 24, so I saw the both prequels being below 25... and I really prefer OT to PT.
[Palpatine's voice]I'm afraid you are mistaken, George ...about a great many things. [/Palpatine's voice]

C'mon, guys, there is no point to argue about it... G.L. is living in his own "neverland" that he created in his mind and will feverishly defend "his point of view", his vision of the world... hey, men in their sixties are prone to be stubborn...

How about a poll?
Post
#100396
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/100396/action/topic#100396
Time
ATTENTION! MILITARY JOKES!


***

Little son to his dad:
- Daddy, Daddy please make the elephants run!
- No, Sonny, elephants are tired now...
- But Daddy, Daddy, please, please make the elephants run again!
- Son, elephants are really sleepy now... they were running all day long because you wanted them to do so.
- Dad, please! One more time... please...
- OK, kid, but this is the last time today, elephants are almost falling... ...plaaatooooon! put yer gaaasmaaaasks - on! Run and circle the drill-ground , on the double!!!


***

- Hey, buddy, long time no see! What do you do now?
- Changed my work...
- So...? where do you work now?
- Can't say, that's top secret, national security and so on...
- OK, so at least tell me how much do they pay?
- Not much... $5 for grenade, $15 per bomb made...


***

- Why can't you form a straight row, maggots? - yells the sergeant at his soldiers standing in a line
- Because ... Earth is round - whispers one of them
- What?? Who said that?!?!
- Copernicus, sir.
- Copernicus?!?! Copernicus step forward, you assh0le!


***

Corporal examines a private:
- Private! What material is rifle's barrel made of?
- It's made of steel, sir.
- Good... now, what material is rifle's lock made of?
- It's made of steel, sir.
- Wrong! Check the manual text again, you maggot! See? The answer is "...and the lock is made of the same material"!


***

Guerrillas got a tip that enemy troops are heading to the village. Unable to run, they hid in the well. Enemy soldiers marched soon after, searching for the partisan forces.
- Look everywhere, don't let them to escape - yells the commander - maybe they hid themselves in the barn?
The "echo" from the well repeats: "....maybe they hid themselves in the barn?"
- Or maybe they run to the woods?
The "echo" from the well repeats: "....or maybe they run to the woods?
- Hey! Maybe they are sitting in the well?
The "echo" from the well says: "....or maybe they run to the woods?

***


Train. In the same compartment travels mother with busty daughter, private and a sergeant. The train enters a tunnel and suddenly we hear SLAP!
Now, what do the passengers think?
Mother: one of the soldiers must have tried to pinch my daughter, but she slapped him.
Daughter: wow! Mommy is still popular among men - one of them must have tried to pinch her, but she slapped him.
Sergeant: Darn! The private "got lucky" and I got slapped!
Private: heh, when we enter another tunnel I'm gonna slap the sergeant in the face one more time!



***


Excerpts from the military manuals:

PUDDLE
A small body of water with no strategical importance. Can be crossed without pontoon bridge.

SPOON
The spoon is composed of A) a handle B) a soup tank.

WATCHDOG
The watchdog is composed of A) a leash B) an actual dog.

BIKINI
A prototype beach camouflage for female soldiers.

INCH
An imperial unit of measurement, twice as long as the caliber of heavy machine gun.

BUSH (do not confuse with Mr Dubya)
A natural element of the battlefield with increased camouflage capabilities.

CHAIR
A metal/woode/plastic device supporting the rear end of the soldier.

RIVER
A strategically important terrain obstacle with 100% humidity.

WINDOW
A rectangular hole in a building allowing for firing machine gun.

TOWEL
A rectangular piece of cloth used for reducing the wetness level of a soldier.

SOCKS
Short range chemical weapon, its use is not forbidden by Geneva Convention.

SUN
Light source allowing for daytime military operations.

NEEDLE
A small, point tipped melee weapon.


- What all soldiers should have in their footlockers?
- Orderliness


I hope that my translation didn't kill them
Post
#99860
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/99860/action/topic#99860
Time
And now for something completely different:

PC-oriented haiku
Error Messages

1. A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

2. The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
countless more exist.

3. Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

4. ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.

5. Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

6. First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

7. With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

8. The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

9. Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

10. Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down.

11. A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

12. Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

13. You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

14. Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

15. Having been erased,
the document you're seeking
must now be retyped.
Post
#83210
Topic
I want everyone to look at this.
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/83210/action/topic#83210
Time
All those IQ tests suck. The results vary from one to another.
LOL, according to this website, Sharon Stone with her supposedly high IQ shoud be designing space shuttles or Zentium microprocessors, if "above 160" is "unmeasurable genius", right?

I don't know if I did something wrong, but after completing the full test, I only got page saying I have to pay to get the certificate etc. But after looking at DAYV's URL I managed to trick the website to display my score which is 158. And I'm tired, have a headache and sympthoms of flu... whatever - my neck hurts...
Post
#82406
Topic
Hockey Talk
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/82406/action/topic#82406
Time
LOL, I guess I'm going to watch today's hockey match for a couple of minutes (it's something new for me as I'm not a sport fan at all), coz it's NHL vs Poland, here in Katowice

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?id=1942472

And believe it or not, at the moment I write this stuff we lead 2:1


UPDATE:

NHL won 5:3

Polish team was leading 3:2 until the last 4 seconds (talking about excitement, eh?) of the match, when NHL tied 3:3 and then scored 2 penalty shots.

I was hoping we'll repeat the victory, when ~30 years ago, in the same place, we defeated USSR 6:4...
Post
#80545
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/80545/action/topic#80545
Time
Russian president, Vladimir Putin, wanted to have some fun on a Saturday night.
As his armored limousine was going through the red light district in Moscow, he was disguising himself to hide his well known identity. Finally the car reached the best brothel in Russian capital. Putin went inside... and got back only a couple minutes later!
- What happened, chief? - asked his driver and bodyguards - was the girl ugly?
- No, I ordered the prettiest and the most expensive girl, Tatiana, who always deals with foreign businessmen...
- So...?
- My cover was blown, that's it! She recognized me even with this wig and moustache!
- How come?
- I don't know... she recognized me somehow - when we were about to start, she spreaded her legs, smiled and said "Come on, put in!"
Post
#79201
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/79201/action/topic#79201
Time
Radio Erewan
good old political jokes from USSR

***

- Is that true that letters are censored in Soviet Union?
- Generally, no... but letters with anti-soviet content are not delivered.

***

- I hate the Communistic Party, I hate the First Secretary and our other leaders! What I am supposed to do?
- Please provide us with your full name and address...

***

- I've heard great news: is that true that they give cars for free in Leningrad?
- Generally, yes! ...well, not in Leningrad, but in Moscow... not cars, but bicycles... and they don't give it for free, they steal them.

***

- Is that true that life in those remote camps in Siberia is good?
- Yes! One of our reporters wanted to confirm this and he liked the new place so much that he stayed there - forever.

***

- How far are we from the real communism?
- 8 kilometers.
- What? How did calculated that?
- Comrade Lenin once said: "Each 5-year plan is a step forward in our way to communism!"

***

- Is that true that Soviet people may freely leave Soviet Union and travel around the globe?
- Yes, especially the astronauts.

***

- Is that true that maize grows in Soviet Union like telephone poles?
- Yes! Well, in some of our farms it's even more dense...

***

- I need an explanation. They said on TV yesterday that we will soon catch up with America's economy, but in the news paper I read that America's economy is on the verge of a collapse? What gives?
- ............... err... our station's power will be down for a while.... stand by...

***

- Is that true that Soviet Navy submarines hold the world record of submergence time?
- Yes. Two subs are still sumberged, since 1957.

***

- What is the difference between capitalism and communism?
- In capitalism a man persecutes another man. Fortunately, in communism it's the other way around!
or
- In capitalism there is a discipline in production and chaos in consumption. In communism it's vice versa.
Post
#79195
Topic
Alexander
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/79195/action/topic#79195
Time
Quote
Originally posted by: Bossk
What's Radio Erewan? And is it supposed to be spelled "Erehwon"?

Erewan is Polish spelling for Yerevan, the capital of Armenia. This small country used to be a part of USSR, it borders now with Turkey and Georgia (not the state in USA, but former state of USSR).

"Radio Erewan" is a series of classic Russian jokes (but some could be made up in other countries, like in Poland), which were a reaction to the boring/sad/pitful life in communism. In a witty, ironic way they served the best political humor, even though political jokes could end your life in a forced labor camp somewhere in Siberia. Most of the jokes are beginning with "Generally yes/no, but....".
I will post some of them in the jokes thread.
Post
#79144
Topic
Alexander
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/79144/action/topic#79144
Time
Quote
Originally posted by: Bossk
They claim that there is no historical documentation saying that Alexander was really bi...

I must say that I've never heard about Alexander's bisexuality before, even though I've read a bit about certain... err... eccentric habits... of some leaders, from ancient times to modern history (in other words from ancient China to III Reich). Which proves nothing, because I'm not a history expert...

All of this reminded me of a classic joke from the "Radio Erewan" series:

- Dear Radio, is that true that Chaikovsky was gay?
- Generally, yes... but we love him also for his music.