For some reason I feel like the inserted trailer shot of Leia holding Han’s medal doesn’t really blend well with the other shots of Leia in terms of lighting/framing. I wonder if someone could make it a closer match to the previous shot of Leia?
Hal 9000 said:
I’m hesitant to remove the Finn having something to say thing because it’s a good chunk of what implies he’s Force sensitive. I already used poppasketti’s Rey voiceover in TLJ to tie into this even. And I find it awkward to cut out the reference to this in the sandy underworld.
I’d argue that him having this “secret” for Rey doesn’t really hurt or help the implication that he’s Force sensitive. I certainly didn’t connect the dots when I saw it in the theater, and all the other hints are still there regardless of what you do with the secret. If I have free time later I might try to mock up how I would remove it.
Finn was way too sassy, especially in that scene. The “always” line is the one piece of sass I would have left in though-- but it went right into all his huffing and eye-rolls and it made him just way out of character. He was decisive and awesome in TLJ then suddenly a hesitant mother hen in TROS. The lightspeed skipping argument was just redundant and so over the top unnecessary. I made the following changes to try and Make Finn Great Again and would encourage other editors to improve Finn as well:
- Cut sassy-pants Finn as he’s bumped around in the Falcon’s gunner seat.
- Cut Finn’s sassy-pants agreement about “bouldering” the TIE fighters.
- Cut Finn’s line to Poe in the Falcon, “Get us back to base” and cut his glance over just before he says it.
- During the lightspeed skipping, cut Finn’s loud reaction and replaced his loud lines, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” And “HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THAT?” He’s now calmer and maybe more in tune with the force.
- Cut Rey greeting Finn and Rey’s extended argument with Poe over lightspeed skipping. This removes Finn’s sassy-pants line “always” referring to Poe being in a bad mood as well as Finn’s eye rolls, huffing, and acting like a sassy mother hen.
- Cut Finn’s useless line, “It’s true” to Rey after Poe storms off.
- Cut Finn’s useless line, “I’ve never seen so few Wayfinders” to depict him as more wise than wisecracking.
- Cut Finn’s prolonged glancing at the rope before he throws it at the Stormtrooper speeder bike. This was overly showing us “hey look Finn’s getting an idea.”
- As Finn is sinking into the sand, cut his line about telling Rey something.
- Cut Rey and Finn’s conversation about the secret he had to tell her.
- The final briefing ends with Poe speaking, cutting Finn’s lackluster line about taking the war to them.
- Cut Finn’s lines, “Lando you did it. YOU DIIIIID IT!!!”
- Trimmed Finn and Jannah running on top of Falcon mid-flight so they don’t ridiculously pause to sightsee the destruction around them.
- Cut Finn’s line about everyone in the galaxy rising. Too little too late Finn.
I agree with nearly all of this, it would make Finn much better
The only part I agree with here is removing Finn wanting to tell Rey something when they’re sinking, and only because it’s never truly paid off. Otherwise, I like most of the quips and banter.
Watching the V2 Workprint, what about adding a quick flash of the removed “Chewie in handcuffs” scene when Rey senses his presence of the Star Destroyer? Add some filters to it so it looks “Force-y”.
Yeah, I don’t mind those lines either, but I think it’s worth it to more cleanly remove the lightspeed skipping thing.
I feel like that scene could be cut all together as it’s the first interaction with the trio in the movie and they bicker at each other, the scene where they get ready for pasaana and poe and Finn say they’re going with rey “alone with friends” is a great establishment of the year that passed between the last time we saw the three of them and now.
I’d be concerned about cutting scenes like this from the movie, as the pacing is already breakneck.
Yeah, I don’t mind those lines either, but I think it’s worth it to more cleanly remove the lightspeed skipping thing.
That’s my feeling on it as well.
Just watched the first 20 minutes or so of the new workprint. The first act of the film flows so much better now.
Man, it never did get better than this. Circa 2008:
This setup is what all true warriors strive for.
Okay, Octorox, I went ahead and added vimeo-sourced DominicCobb footage for the two vision scenes. They are temp sources, and have only stereo audio, but it’ll help give a better overall sense of the shape of the edit.
“I’m so hungry, I could eat an Octorok!”
You’ve inspired a new avatar.
New ideas aside, there’s not a great deal left to do! I’ll need to get some things from others as they are completed, but I’m going to go ahead and render out a second workprint. Pretty much everything I’ve done since the first one I’ve shared in this thread, but this will be better for anyone who hasn’t already checked it out.
I’d really like to see Dominic’s vision sequences in the second workprint, even if they aren’t the final versions. I feel like for now you could just slot in what he’s already made available. I think it will help a lot with the first act restructure.
Also I’m not sure if you saw Dom’s other clips where he extended the TIE showdown using shots from the trailer:
https://vimeo.com/407939026
And the “Ben, come home” clip:
https://vimeo.com/414119429
Chase Adams said:
On that note, Hal, how do you feel about his line, “How dare you! We’ve only just met!” 😒 Does it need to be changed?
I wouldn’t change this. If you keep changing all of 3PO’s lines the memory wipe is going to feel even less consequential than it already does.
I went ahead and mocked up trying to fix Poe’s somehow line… it is only a first version so I’m still coming up with ideas but here is the link. I also removed the “Secrets only the Sith knew…” I’ve never personally had an issue with the line but it might be nice to see what it looked like.
https://vimeo.com/430565762
pw: fanedit
Eh, I don’t love the line, but I’d prefer to leave it as is so you don’t have to awkwardly cut away when he delivers it. I also think the “Secrets only the Sith knew” line was fine. I question the logic in cutting things like this unless there’s a specific narrative purpose.
Honestly I’m pretty ambivalent about dubbing Boolio. Rose already says she’s “studying schematics of old destroyers” which gives some indication that these aren’t all brand new ships.
For the moment, here’s the opening of the movie, restructured: https://vimeo.com/430217410
I made the “Find me” calls as Kylo picks up the Wayfinder almost subliminal. And when we see the Falcon in hyperspace, I removed the thunder continuing to roll by using some audio from the Falcon in hyperspace from ANH.
I think this flows significantly better,and it will be even better with Dominic’s vision sequences.
If I cut along those time stamps there’d still be a reference to lightspeed skipping but not as heavy of a focus. Might work.
Krausfadr posted a clip of how he edited the scene a while back:
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1347166/action/topic#1347166
Yes, that’s it! Thank you. 😃
I almost feel like too much of the scene is missing now. I wonder if there’s a middle ground.
Of course the other option would be to cut out the earlier Poe and Finn sequence completely (it’s already trimmed pretty heavily with the chess scene moved and lightspeed skipping removed). Then you can keep the lightspeed skipping reference and just leave it up to imagination what exactly that means. The only remaining issue would be when Boolio’s head is on the table, we wouldn’t know who that is.
I agree with pretty much everything Octorox suggested, as well.
Several pages back someone suggested reordering it so that Rey’s training scene happens right after the “who is she?” with Palpatine, then the Falcon scene happens after Billie Lourd tells Leia the Falcon still isn’t back, then back to Ajan Kloss after breaking through the ice wall and proceeding as normal.
I really like that idea as well, since it gives us a path to follow through the characters’ dialogue, and helps to ease the pacing a bit more. Is that something you’d be willing to consider?
I like that in theory. I think Dominic was trying that approach?
If we remove Leia knowing than it would likely be best to also remove her line to Rey of “Rey, never be afraid of who you are.”
Disagree, I think it still works in a general sense. She doesn’t have to literally mean “because you’re a Palpatine.”
Hal, I get what you’re saying about having Leia say “come home”, but as it stands it still just feels like it’s not super clear what she’s actually doing? It almost feels like she’s distracting him so Rey can get her swipe in. At least having her say “come home” would somewhat clear up her intentions and dovetail nicely with Han’s statements e.g. “she’s gone, but what she fought for isn’t” etc. (Also, if we see his ghost in the end, he has “come home” to her)
Some other notes from watching the workprint:
I definitely think Klaud has to go, because he feels like a random presence without his introduction
The transition from the Falcon jumping into hyperspace to Rey meditating feels pretty fast. I wonder if it would be possible to add an establishing shot of the jungle? This movie lacks establishing shots in general
I think the lightspeed skipping mentions have to be cut around. I can’t watch that sequence without wondering what they’re talking about.
The continuity error of Rey having the saber on her belt bugs me every time I see it now
C3PO’s “in the event that I do not return, I want you to know that you are my best friend” feels like really clumsy foreshadowing. I wonder if you could just cut the “In the event I do not return” out?
I’m okay with you keeping the thing Finn wanted to tell Rey but I wish we could do something to make his Force sensitivity more obvious. Maybe add a quick flash of Kylo in his TIE when he senses his presence? Add cross dissolves when he senses Rey’s death?
I think you should consider using some of the Knights of Ren dialogue that was created in another thread. Anything to give them more of a presence/personality would be appreciated.
There’s a scene of Ren force-skyping with the emperor that feels super brief and abrupt. This is right before the gang discuss their next steps on Ochi’s ship. Not sure if there is some way to extend, move or even cut the scene to improve pacing.
I can’t wait for the Rey nobody version.
In the scene where Leia reaches out to Ben, have you considered extending her lines to “Ben, come home” like Dominic is doing? I think there are a couple other clips Dominic posted that use shots from trailers like the extended TIE confrontation. I’d like to see some of those implemented here.
Just downloaded the workprint. Will try to check it out soon.
I came across a Twitter Post, from March 13th, 2011…
“The 720p version of @Adywan’s Star Wars Revisited being uploaded to newsgroups is a fan-made upscale.”
I’ve searched the newsgroups, and I couldn’t find anything relating to this. Can anyone assist?
I used to have that version. Honestly it’s not a big improvement over the DVD9. You’d probably get better results from an AI upscaling algorithm.
Yeah, I will be sending links shortly. I noticed an issue with the scrolling credits I want to address first.
I’d love it if Jonh made a version with just the skywalker ghosts standing behind Rey. Anakin, Luke and Leia.
Leia’s death would have to be moved if you were to do this. I personally prefer Jonh’s current version but it would be interesting to see.
https://youtu.be/UzeIb-TZo_I
I think the deleted scene could still be salvaged. All that needs to be worked on is the background, which could be added in from other scenes.
I would LOVE if someone could restore that scene, but I find it pretty hard to believe it can be done convincingly. There’s a lot of unfinished effects, matte lines around characters etc. It would take a lot of work.
V2 is done and available via PM! Updated the OP, including a link to the google doc with a revised cutlist. Overall I’ve taken a slightly more conservative approach with V2, but I hope none of the reversions detract from the experience. The cutlist is still quite a bit larger than Hal’s Cloak of Deception, which I’ve used as a base. I would appreciate any feedback you might have!
I mean, I know you probably don’t want to go back to it, but what about putting the unused TFA cue where it was originally supposed to be in TFA? Then you’re not reusing the burning homestead twice in this trilogy.
The trailer music that Jonh pulled for the death of Palps honestly hits so hard for me. If my vote matter I think that music would work perfectly, the only issue is the sound effects on top of it.
Imo I wouldn’t use any non-Williams cues, or at least nothing that isn’t written and mixed in the Williams “style”
