NeverarGreat

The trouble with ‘Luke Skywalker has vanished’ is that it gets crushed right into that first line, and it’s bugged me ever since I first saw the movie. The original TFA crawl has this issue in several places, actually, and is one reason why I’m so set on making sure every word has sufficient space. I’m not too concerned with ‘the last Jedi’ being the sequel’s title since that’s the sequel’s problem, and leading with a title instead of a name immediately puts the conflict in big, general terms before getting down to the specifics later on.

Maybe waning stars is better than darkening, though I feel like the general term ‘darkening’ implies a more general and reversible change in the galaxy instead of ‘waning’ which implies a more permanent change, at least to me.

I dunno, the crawl as it is feels pretty good to me.

Indeed! Still playing with the wording, I don’t care for ‘village’ since we only see the village for the first scene. Here’s the new one:

The last Jedi has vanished. In his absence, a new Imperial power has risen to threaten the galaxy.

Descending into endless division, some members of the Republic Senate have secretly called upon a daring RESISTANCE to find Luke Skywalker and restore the light of hope to the darkening stars.

Emerging from its hidden Imperial fortress, the evil FIRST ORDER hastens toward the wasteland of Jakku, sanctuary of the true believers who have found the key to the Jedi’s return…

Those are some great ideas! I really like ‘endless division’ and ‘mysterious hidden base’, among others. Trouble is, it has to fit well on the lines and ‘mysterious’ is just too long no matter how I slice it. Along those lines, I need to keep the paragraphs quite short to prevent it being too wordy which is most of the problem in the first place. That’s also why Luke goes without a Jedi title, keeping it implied that he’s the last Jedi. I’m pretty sure people wouldn’t be confused by that.

As for the First Order, I do want to keep some aspect of ‘Imperial’ in the final paragraph to directly call back to the first paragraph, and it’s probably weird to capitalize it as part of the First Order. Making the base ‘Imperial’ may have the added benefit of implying that this was a half-completed project of the Empire that the First Order merely made operational.

Adding ‘humble’ into the description of the village hopefully prevents confusion with Luke’s Jedi Knights. It’s important to me to establish the entire village as a single group, since without that information one could come away with the idea that only Tekka was an ally of Luke like the original crawl suggested. That makes it weird when the First Order makes a point of destroying the entire village and I even felt strange that Tekka pulled these random innocents into the whole thing. But maybe that was just me. So here’s a new attempt, checked to make sure it fits:

The last Jedi has vanished. In his absence, a new Imperial power has risen to threaten the galaxy.

Descending into endless division, some members of the Republic Senate have secretly called upon a daring RESISTANCE to find Luke Skywalker and restore the light of hope to the darkening stars.

Arising from its hidden Imperial fortress, the evil FIRST ORDER hastens toward a village on Jakku, a humble sanctuary of true believers who have found the key to the Jedi’s return…

Also: I could change ‘light of hope’ to ‘light of the Jedi’ with little issue. Which one seems best?

Hi everyone, I’m back! Hopefully I shall see to the links soon.

In the meantime I have been considering the situation of V2, and in particular how the edit could use a new crawl. The old one definitely has issues, particularly with the attitude of the Republic. In Hal’s crawl, it is implied that the Senate refuses to consider the First Order a threat. This is fair of the political situation in the lore but it does cast them as at best hapless fools and at worst deserving of their fate. My old crawl for comparison painted the Republic as instrumental in the creation of the Resistance, yet unwilling to directly take action against the First Order. Neither of these takes is entirely true nor effective.

Here is the old V1 crawl:

It is a time of despair. Luke Skywalker, striving to restore the legendary Jedi Order, has vanished.

In his absence, sinister forces have mobilized under the banner of the IMPERIAL FIRST ORDER and claim to possess a weapon with the power to destroy any star system that defies their brutal supremacy.

Fearing for its survival, the New Republic secretly authorizes the formation of a fierce RESISTANCE to find the missing Jedi and restore peace and justice to the darkening stars…

And here is my latest take:

The last Jedi has vanished. In his absence, a new Imperial power has risen to threaten the galaxy.

Descending into chaos and division, members of the Republic Senate have secretly called upon a daring RESISTANCE to find Luke Skywalker and restore the light of hope to the darkening stars.

Arising from its barbaric hidden stronghold, the IMPERIAL FIRST ORDER hastens toward a village on Jakku, sanctuary of Luke’s faithful disciples who hold the key to the Jedi’s return…

This attempts to split the difference between Restructured and Starlight V1. Now the Republic is thrown into chaos by Luke’s disappearance and the Imperial threat, with only members calling for the Resistance instead of the body at large. The talk of chaos also links into Hux’s speech about the disorder of the Republic.

I have abandoned the attempt of establishing the extant threat of a weapon in the crawl since it only diverts attention from the quest for Luke. However, I feel like the weapon is important enough to hint at, thus the talk of the barbaric hidden stronghold. The crawl now also follows the pattern of A-B-A in its paragraphs, where the original TFA crawl was A-B-B in its continued talk of the Resistance through the last two paragraphs. This return to the First Order perspective preserves the continuity of the pan-down and emergence of the destroyer.

All PM’s (hopefully) sent!

Several people have asked specifically for the high bitrate version, however, and while I still have the small one, I no longer have the ability to host the large file. Since the only other option right now is the 'spleen (which many people can’t access), perhaps someone who already has the full file may find a way to make it available.

Anyway, thank you all for the kind words and reviews! I’m actually trying to take a hiatus from the site right now for my mental well-being, just popped back in to see Ascendant off and tend to the links. I’m planning on being away for a while more, so if anyone wishes to get this project I hope that they may find assistance from the good people here.

Happy Life Day and may the Force be with you!

It’s such a weird idea that the actor they chose as the face of Anakin Skywalker is ‘wrong’ because of movies made afterwards. Sebastian Shaw works for the Anakin Skywalker of the OT where he was a contemporary of Obi-wan, a relic of a bygone age.

The right question here is whether or not the prequels are wrong, since their continuity is contingent on the OT, and in this case it’s pretty clear that they contradict the established canon of the OT.

I’m speaking of the Clone Wars TV show, where Anakin is by this point orphaned and the trained warriors are the clones.

Darth Malgus said:

So…

1. Dave Filoni is overrated. I enjoy what he’s done, but he takes forever to develop his characters, plot, and to tell an actual story; I think Bad Batch was the worst about this. He also relies on the exact same premise for all of his shows: “A group of mercenaries doing mercenary things adopt a young mysterious orphan and form a family”. Rebels, The Mandalorian and The Bad Batch are just reskins of the same exact show; even TCW could be argued to fall into this trope.

“A group of trained warriors decide to protect the life of a genetically important orphan with unusual mental powers while fighting in a conflict created by Sheev Palpatine, and through this they form an unconventional family.”

BedeHistory731 said:

That’s why there should’ve been more thought towards chronological viewing in the prequels, namely to preserve spoilers from the OT. I know that’s an unpopular opinion for some, but I’d prefer watching I, II, and III where:

• we have no idea what Yoda looks like, but we know his name as an exile of the Jedi Order
• Obi-Wan had two apprentices, either one likely to be Vader (but we know it’s Anakin - situational irony)
• we don’t know that Padme gave birth to twins

Unpopular, but I appreciate prequel rewrites that keep this stuff in mind.

I’m with you too.

And for arguing that the prequels were made to enhance the OT, that ignores how Luke’s primary motivation for becoming a Jedi and redeeming his father was the belief that his father was ultimately a good person and not a genocidal child-murderer. If Obi-wan had shown Luke the prequels in his hut Luke would absolutely have vowed eternal vengeance against that monster.

Indeed.

https://imgur.com/gallery/tcGash8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqpNyo-P6t0

John Williams, ya goober.

Master Lawdog said:

So, Neverar. I know this is your thread for The Force Awakens, but what are your plans/goals for your edit of The Last Jedi?

The plans are ever-evolving, but right now the biggest situation to resolve is how to begin the film. While focusing purely on TFA, I’d planned to have two versions with two endings, but in beginning TLJ this is awkward since it would require two versions as well.

The situation is complicated by my gradually warming to the ending of TFA as it stands in the standard edit because it has become important to the thesis of the film. In the original, I disliked how it essentially ended on a cliffhanger devoid of much meaning. Rey had already decided to find Luke when she left the Resistance base, concluding her arc of embracing the good light of the Force and her new destiny, and this seemed in the theatrical version like the thematic end of the story. The journey to Luke seemed a purposeless extension of the narrative in order to technically get Luke into the film. The final moments between the characters are of Rey silently asking, then demanding that Luke take up his saber and be the legend the galaxy needs. It is a passing of responsibility, not just for Rey but for the film itself as if it can’t be bothered to decide its own message after all.

However, in Starlight Rey’s journey is more clearly about her quick acceptance of the Dark Side to survive, implying that she must find a mentor in the Force if she is to avoid this dark fate. Her meeting with Luke retains its former meaning, but now gains a new one in that Rey is revealing her deep spiritual and emotional need for guidance. She is not a centered, self-sufficient character as she was portrayed in the theatrical version, but a hurt, wounded character who has survived only by giving in to vengeance. With this new context the final moments seem to me to be a fitting culmination of Rey’s journey given the assumption that Luke takes the saber and becomes the mentor she needs. In this way the film ends on the perfect moment, for any rejection by Luke would throw her into deeper temptation as TLJ reveals.

(There’s also the in-person revelation of the island to consider, which is the payoff of the two-part setup earlier in the edit.)

All this is to say that I now actually favor the Standard ending of the edit over the more radical Visions version. I will probably still render out that version for anyone who wants it, but I’ve made peace with TLJ opening on the island despite the issues of the passage of time. That is not to say that there will be no passage of time between films, for I am planning on describing some event in the crawl of TLJ that occurs between films, but that is for the TLJ thread. Removing the ticking clock of the First Order knowing the location of the base helps tremendously.

JEDIT: One thing that would make the standard ending ideal would be to figure out a lengthened sequence of traveling from the base to Luke’s island. That would probably be the biggest change for a V2 of this edit.

Yeah, this really makes Kylo scary beyond all reason.

PM sent!

As to the changes, I’ve seen a few of the more radical TFA edits and they tend to leave me cold. There is a point where removing content from any media will give me the feeling that something is missing. Some edits remove practically all of Finn’s comedic moments and at that point Finn is diminished as a character since there’s simply less of him onscreen, less to remember about his presence. The same thing can be said of Rey - some edits remove or edit around her more extreme Force abilities and this also feels like Rey’s impact in the story is diminished.

In short, story elements that are disagreeable are at least remarkable. I’ve tried to keep these elements while trying as much as possible to build around them the solid foundation that should have existed in the original cut.

This is also why the runtime of the edit is only about 3 minutes shorter than the Theatrical version. Unless a goal is to shorten the film (TLJ, the Hobbit movies), I try to balance the runtime of the cut material with added material so that the result feels like a truly alternate version of the film rather than The Force Awakens: Now With Less Force Awakens.

Except that they don’t know that they’re inside the slug until later.

The only way I could see making the scenario semi-beliveable would be to put the hint of an atmosphere around the asteroid. It probably wouldn’t make sense for an atmosphere for a body that small, but their behavior and the gravity of the asteroid implies that it is at least moon-sized.

PM Sent!

PM Sent!

PM Sent!

Peonthegrate said:

I just realized, is the link for the V1 small and V1 full quality the same link? For the workprint link I have theres only one 5GB file, not two.

It’s two links. I kept the big file separate since space was an issue and I didn’t think it would work in high volume. However, since there don’t seem to be any issues so far, if you’re interested just leave a note on the original link PM and I’ll be sure to include the new one. Or PM me anew 😃

That’s interesting, thank you for noting these issues. I wonder if the whole film shares these issues, or if it’s constrained to certain sections.

Thanks, I’ll definitely list it when I get the cover done. I believe Hal has already offered to review it, but thank you for the kind offer 😃

poppasketti said:

Yeah it’s definitely there. It’s just a couple of frame, so Nev, if you can patch it up, great, but if not I can fix that sometime in the next few days. Can you let me know which version of the shot you used, the main or the alt?

It was the shorter one, the main one I’m pretty sure.

It may be that the directional blur isn’t applied until it enters the frame, so there’s a partial section unblurred for a frame or two.